Saturday, June 16, 2012

Preface To What She Said: That's NOT What She Said

This week's theme, "What She Said," was something I had planned to do before the wife started watching "The Office" (the American version) on The Netflix in the evenings.  Though I wasn't really paying attention - the first episodes are really just pale versions of the superior British series - I confess, over time, I got sucked in.  The characters really drew me in.  & then the wife & I scrambled to watch the entire series.  In all of this, I forgot about this show I had vaguely planned with the theme "what she said" & never even thought about it when I heard Steve Carell's character's oft-repeated punchline: "That's what she said!"

It's such a character trait that it is (spoiler alert!) the last thing the character says (or mouths, really) as he leaves the show to be with his perfect love in Colorado.

That's not on this (unfortunately unembeddable) Youtube collection of slightly out-of-sync clips from the series, featuring Carell & others using the line.

This has happened before, & it's the fault of planning things in advance - the weird coincidence of culture coinciding with my dumb little radio show.  Although to be fair, Carell left the show over a year ago - I can't recall if people use the line as much or as often anymore.

That's what I say, anyway.

Friday, June 15, 2012

The Neighbor No One Likes

There's a man in the neighborhood whom I call the neighbor no one likes, not because no one likes him, because he's very likable, but because he acts like no one likes him.  I think he might be more proud than offended to be called "the neighbor no one likes."

The other day, he asked me about the my radio show, since I mentioned WRFL.  & since Lexington is still really a small town, he asked me about people he knew at the station.  He didn't really want to hear about my show unless he had actually heard of it.  Which of course he hadn't.  But that didn't stop him from telling me about people he knew at the station.  I listened patiently & I said, "Wow, Lexington is a small town!"

That same day I was fretting about not mowing the lawn in a while.  It wasn't crazy overgrown, but it was unkempt - the sort of unkempt that invites people in beat-up pick-up trucks with lawn care equipment piled in the back to come to your door & ask to mow your lawn.  It only suffers in comparison with the well-manicured lawns that our neighbors have.

The "neighbor no one likes" listened to me & gave me his advice.  He said, "Let it grow until it's really crazy.  That'll piss 'em off."

That's why I call him the neighbor no one likes.  Maybe he's more the neighbor who doesn't care if anyone likes him.  Hey!  I know two things about him: he sits & watched fireflies in the dusk & drinks white wine while he does it.

I wrote a truncated version of this helpless anecdote on my Twitter page.  I still have hardly any followers.  I need to synch my Twitter with my Facebook.  Maybe that will encourage people to follow me.  I expect it'll end in tears.  & those tears will be mine.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Man, What A Manifesto!

I like the word sobriquet.  I've never had a nickname.  At least not one that was not derogatory, but technically, that would be an epithet, not a proper nickname.  For example, I knew a kid in middle school whose name was Larry, but everyone called him Rocko.  That's a nickname.

Interestingly, a person I see on my dog walks is named Rocco, but that's a proper Italian name & not a nickname at all.

The closest I've had to a nickname was my last name.  Because in middle school & in high school pretty much everyone had to take a P.E. class, & because the coaches in "physical education" classes called everyone by their last name, I was usually called "Dickerson" by my classmates.  These did not include my closest friends, or the high school equivalent (I am currently in touch with only a few of the people I went to high school with, &, tellingly, none of them were in my graduating class).  My teachers also called me "Gary."  But it's enough that, if someone were to say "Dickerson," I'd respond as if they called me by my first name.

What would I have liked my nickname to have been?  How the hell should I know?

I do know what I am glad it isn't.  My father, who had the awesome named Everett Ray Dickerson, had a nickname, & not a very inventive one: people (including my mother) called him "Dick."  I'm sure the word had the same double meaning at the time (it's what people have called a penis for centuries I bet) but it was common enough that, rather than being called by the lovely name Everett, my father preferred "Dick."

As did his brother, my uncle Harold.  It's true!  One time I happened to be with both of them at their work - they worked together at that point in their lives - & someone said, "Dick!" & both of them turned around to answer.  That was freaky.

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Toast Was Not Burnt

I've never been more hungry while doing a radio show.  & WRFL's toaster is on the fritz!

Delicious songs are listed below.  The show of course is at the Self Help Radio website but if you're too impatient, you can listen to the show directly by clicking the links here: part one | part two.  Make sure you have a working toaster & a lot of bread handy!

(part one)

"Toast & Jelly" Poi Dog Pondering _Poi Dog Pondering_
"Doc Clock (The Breakfast Time Friend)" Sylvia & Murray Winant _It's Fun To Eat_
"Toast" Heywood Banks _If Pigs Had Wings_

"More Than Toast" The Mr. T Experience _Big Black Bugs Bleed Blue Blood_
"She Don't Use Jelly" The Flaming Lips _Transmissions From The Satellite Heart_
"At The House Of Toast" Bob & Ray _Classic Bob & Ray, Vol. 2_
"Toast" Archers Of Loaf _Icky Mettle_
"Guava Jelly" Johnny Nash _The Harder They Come_

"Cheese & Toast" BMX Bandits _My Chain_
"Jelly" The Bagdads _Double Shot Of Soul_
"Coffee & Toast" James _The Collection_
"Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast" Pink Floyd _Atom Heart Mother_

(part two)

"Toast" Streetband _Toast_
"I'm A Poached Egg (Without Toast)" Ella Fitzgerald _Jukebox Ella_

"Scraping The Toast (with George Murphy)" Alice Faye _The Ultimate Collection_
"It Must Be Jelly ('Cause Jam Don't Shake Like That)" Glenn Miller _Glenn Miller - Army Air Force Band_
"Peanut Butter & Jelly" Beastie Boys _Hello Nasty_
"Jam Up & Jelly Tight" Tommy Roe _Greatest Hits_
"Bread & Butter" The Newbeats _Golden Classics Collection_
"Smoky Toast" Space Ghost _Yeah, Whatever_
"Crazy Ellen's Home Made Blueberry Jam" Reneri's Raiders _Lost Jukebox, Vol. 80_
"Black Raspberry Jam" Fats Waller _1936_

"Toast & Marmalade For Tea" Tin Tin _Super Hits Of The '70s: Have A Nice Day! Vol. 16_
"Jelly Dancers" Bruce Haack _Listen Compute Rock Home: The Best Of Dimension 5_
"Jelly Belly" The Electric Company _The Electric Company/Original Cast_
"Jelly Covered Cloud" Scaffold _Lily The Pink_

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Whither Toast & Jelly & Jam?

I was hungry damnit!

I am writing now about the history of toast & the history of jam.  I will read about them on my show tomorrow.  You must listen to find out.  7:30 to 9:00 am in Lexington at 88.1 fm on the dial.  You can listen live anywhere (as long as you adjust for the time zone difference) at WRFL dot fm.  I will archive it later at the Self Help Radio website.

A toast to you!  With toast & jelly & jam!