Preface To Afraid: I'm Afraid It's The 1400th Post!

1400 posts!  Oh my gosh!

Time to do the meth!  I mean, math!

Blog start date: 09/12/16.
Post 100: 03/07/07 (176 days later).
Post 200: 08/12/07 (158 days later).
Post 300: 01/09/08 (149 days later).
Post 400: 05/26/08 (138 days later - my previous best time).
(If this were a race.)
(It isn't.)
(It would be weird if it was.)
Post 500: 10/14/08 (141 days later).
Post 600: 03/25/09 (162 days later).
Post 700: 09/23/09 (186 days later - my worst time).
(I moved that summer out of Texas.)
(It's my best excuse.)
Post 800: 02/19/10 (149 days later).
Post 900: 07/23/10 (154 days later).
Post 1000: 12/12/10 (143 days later).
Post 1100: 05/21/11 (158 days later).
Post 1200: 10/12/11 (147 days later).
Post 1300: 03/12/12 (149 days later).

Now, it has been just - if my meth - I mean, math - is right - it has just been 131 days since the 1300th post.  Can that possibly be true?  Nineteen weeks, at five posts a week, does almost equal 100 posts.  But, as usual, I feel I probably got the math wrong.

Still, I average around 150 days per 100 posts, & that makes sense.  This last 100, which may include the least informative & interesting of anything I've ever written (I know, how can tell?), could very well have been a fluke.  I'm certainly not writing any more than I used to.  Maybe I am just making sure to write five days a week.

We're leaving shortly for Nashville but I'm bringing along all the possible afraid songs for the show this week.  I won't be afraid to listen to them on the road!

To Nashville!

Going to Nashville tomorrow to see Marc Maron do stand-up comedy.  Will probably catch up on the latest episodes of the What The Fuck podcast as we drive.

Nashville is a nice city, though I haven't spent much time there.  I am genetically predisposed to like bigger cities, since they generally have more stuff.  For example, Nashville, which is more than three times the size of Lexington, has seven Ethiopian restaurants.  Yeah, seven!  That's seven more than Lexington has.

Why stay in Lexington, then?  I mean, besides WRFL, I mean?  I dunno, man.  Ask the wife.

Down The Road Apiece

I'm not going to say anything about my dumb Twitter account, which is @SelfHelpRadio.  I don't spend enough time on the Twitter to actually make connections & don't feel nearly witty enough to compose memorable tweets day in & day out.  & I never did that "I am at the donut shop with Bob!" sort of Facebook update, so why would I do it on the Twitter?

I am going to say that my wife has returned from five weeks in Costa Rica where, hanging around with howler & capuchin monkeys, she was attempting to find better company than myself & our six dogs & cats.  The fact that she returned makes me wonder if she were hanging out with the wrong kind of capuchin & howler monkeys.  Surely our beagles & kittens are less interesting than such creatures!

Speaking of, I don't think I mentioned that the past five weeks I've been living the bachelor life, as my wife was in a foreign country.  It's because I don't really talk about such things.  It has nothing to do with a radio show, but even more than that, I don't think anyone cares much what I'm doing day-to-day.  Seriously, it's hard enough to convince people to care about the radio show that takes up all of my time.

I'm rambling, I have nothing of value to say.  There are two radio-show-related things to mention, though.  One is that this October - which is of course three months away but sure, I'm trying to plan ahead - is the tenth anniversary of Self Help Radio.  Last year I celebrated the ninth anniversary with tee shirts - this year I think I'll make some Self Help Radio coffee mugs.  Well, not make.  Have made.  You know what I mean.

The other is that, on Saturday, I'll post my 1400th post on this blog.  I know.  Insert joke here about how someone who has nothing to say has said so much.  Is there something special I can do for the fourteen hundredth post?  I mean, I'm driving to Nashville to see Marc Maron.  I may make him lemon bars.  Other that that, though - what can I do for you?

-Less & -Less Of A Show

Helpless. Weightless. Careless. Breathless. Timeless. Effortless. Meaningless. Loveless. Hopeless. Heartless. Reckless. Tactless. Wireless. Senseless. Artless.  All these words & more may have been used to describe Self Help Radio.  How would I know?  No one tells me anything.

Please enjoy a show which is gormless, feckless & maybe even ruthless.  It's available uselessly at the Self Help Radio website.  Needlessly I divide the show into two parts: part one & part two.  Blameless, I put the list of songs below.

I thank you for your selfless listening.

(part one)

"Helpless" Sugar _Copper Blue_
"Weightless" Blue Aeroplanes _Swagger_

"Careless" The Go-Betweens _Send Me A Lullaby_
"Breathless" Momus _Timelord_
"Restless" The Bangles _All Over The Place_
"Timeless" Zolar X _Timeless_
"Effortless" Athletico Spizz 80 _Do A Runner_
"Meaningless" Magnetic Fields _69 Love Songs_

"Loveless" Lloyd Cole _Lloyd Cole_
"Helpless" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _The Weeping Song_
"Restless" Tanya Donelly _Sliding & Diving EP_

(part two)

"Hopeless" Future Bible Heroes _Memories Of Love_

"Breathless" X _Beyond & Back: The X Anthology_
"Helpless" Kim Weston _A Complete Introduction To Northern Soul_
"Heartless" Martha Reeves _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 9: 1969_
"Restless" Sonny Burgess _Hittin' That Jug! The Best Of Sonny Burgess_
"Reckless" Tilly & The Wall _Wild Like Children_
"Careless" Cinerama _Torino_

"Tactless" The Band Of Holy Joy _Manic, Magic, Majestic_
"Wireless" Kleenex Girl Wonder _Sexual Harassment_
"Senseless" Aquadays _Airpop: An Apricot Records Compilation_
"Artless" Peter Himmelman _Unstoppable Forces_

Ever So Slight Delay

Would it bother anyone if it took me longer than a day to put today's episode of Self Help Radio up on the Self Help Radio website?

Oh, you didn't know there was an episode of Self Help Radio today?  Yeah, it's on Mondays.  Since when?  I guess it's been over a year now.  Yeah, sometimes I don't make myself very clear.  What?  It's on in Lexington.  Lexington, Kentucky.  No, you see, I haven't lived in Austin for over three years.  What's that?  You didn't listen to the show when it was on there, either?  Then please, don't let me ruin your happy life!

Okay, since no one cares either way - by which I mean, no one cares - I will edit the show & put it online tomorrow.  Tonight, I battle evil wearing long underwear!

Whither -less & -less?

Self Help Radio may be artless, but it isn't boundless.  Doubtless there are those who find it charmless, & that doesn't make me speechless.  Indeed, the show is the very opposite of effortless - sometimes senseless, other times lifeless.  (Hardly ever tuneless, though.  Unless...  Well, you'd probably find it all worthless anyway.)  Regardless, though spineless at times we try to be selfless, & change the facial expressions on the emotionless & smileless & cheerless.  We're not fearless but we're also not entirely dauntless - it'd be useless to have any sort of breathless attitude like that.  In reality, we're far more gormless & feckless - which may explain why we're loveless.  We wish we're weren't so thoughtless - we wish we left you breathless - instead, we're rather witless.  We know.  We know.


Still, should you find these charges baseless, you can listen to the show tomorrow - Monday the 16th - from 7:30 to 9:00 am EST on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen online at wrfl dot fm & I'd be careless if I didn't put the show up tomorrow at the Self Help Radio website.


Mindless fun!  Perhaps?