This Week In Self Help Radio (February 28 + March 2 3 4 + 6)

For some reason - maybe because they're more ubiquitous? - I have taken more pictures of slugs than snails. But I had a show this week about snails! Too bad. Here's a picture of a slug.

It was a busy week. There's a lot to cover. Remember: if you are listening to a show on the Self Help Radio website, you may need a username & password. Use SHR & selfhelp for those.

A week ago, on the last day of February, I subbed the Songcircle on KBOO. I played lots of new releases. How to listen? On the KBOO web page. On the Self Help Radio web page.

Sunday on the Dickenbock Report on XRAY, I celebrated Lou Reed's birthday with lots of his songs. How to listen? On the XRAY web page. On the Self Help Radio web page.

The last two hours of Monday - right before Self Help Radio on KBOO - I played a couple more hours of my favorite music from 1989. Sadly, KBOO doesn't archive sub shows but you can listen! How? On the Self Help Radio web page.

Like I said, this week's Self Help Radio was about snails. How to listen? On the KBOO web page. On the Self Help Radio web page.

Right after Self Help Radio, I had an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming in which I played music from artists we lost in November of 2024. How to listen? At the end of the Self Help Radio episode on the KBOO web page linked above. All by itself on the Self Help Radio web page.

Finally. I helped out a deejay - DJ Lance Armstrong (Not That Armstrong) - with his show Pardon This Interruption. How to listen? On the Spinitron web page (for a couple of weeks). On the Self Help Radio web page.

Sincerely I hope this was enough for you you insatiable radio monster!

Self Help Radio 030435: Snails

Behold! A radio show for the humble snail! Not that any snail will have time to listen to it. When I snapped the picture above, the snail took seven hours to cross the sidewalk. It was mesmerizing.

Will a show about snails be as hypnotic? That's not for me to say. It is for snails to say, & once they get here, I assume they will have a lot to say. But we may have to wait a bit. They have decided to detour to get some froyo.

Listen to the show for yourself. You can do so on the KBOO website click here! Or you can do so on the Self Help Radio website click here! (You may need to use the username SHR & password selfhelp to access.) Almost everything that happened on the show is listed below.

Behold! A radio show for the humble snail!

Self Help Radio Snail Show

"The Snail Song" The Town Criers _The Snail Song_

"(Get Off My Tail You) Sneaky Snail" The Gimicks _Buzzsaw Joint - Cuts 1 & 2_

"Snakes, Snails, & Puppydogs' Tails" Alma Cogan _Alma Cogan_

introduction & definitions

"Lament Of The Gastropod" Chris Knox _Songs Of You & Me_

"Snail Trail" Heavenly _Operation Heavenly_

"My Snails Have Not Yet Arrived" Les Barker _Up The Creek Without A Poodle_

"Mister Snail" Margo, Margo, Medress, & Siegel _Mister Snail_

"Snail" Grapple _The Psychedelic Experience Vol 4 (Ultra Rare Acid Punk Fuzz Monsters From The 60s!)_

interview with musician Charles Spangle

"Snail Head" Throwing Muses _Chains Changed_

"Snail Shell" They Might Be Giants _John Henry_

"Silver Snail" Pixies _Indie Cindy_

"Save The Snail" Camille West _Mother Tongue: Maternal Madness Month By Month_

"Migration Of The Snails" Melodic Energy Commission _Migration Of The Snails_

interview with snail ceramics artist Camille Morris

"Snails" Shantih Shantih _Winter In September_

"Slick As Snails" Robert Pollard & Doug Gillard _Speak Kindly Of Your Volunteer Fire Department_

"I Collect Snails" The Lovely Eggs _Have You Ever Heard The Lovely Eggs?_

"Snails" Weird Al Yankovic & Wendy Carlos _Peter & The Wolf/Carnival Of The Animals Part II_

"The Snail Trek, Parts 1 & 2" The Esplanade Orchestra _The Snail Trek_

interview with snail specialist Dr. Todd Hester

"Samba Snails" Sexton Ming _Marshan Love Secrets_

"Snail" Mink Lungs _The Better Button_

"Scared Of A Snail" Wolf Colonel _Vikings Of Mint_

"The Prince & The Enchanted Snail" Joan Gerber _The Story Lady_

"Snail Shells" Dana Falconberry & Medicine Bow _From The Forest Came The Fire_

conclusion & goodbye

"Snail" Benjamin B. _An Excelsior Recordings Compilation_

"Snails" Babybird _Outtakes_

"Snails" The Format _Dog Problems_

"Snails In The Creek" Alfredo Rodríguez _The Invasion Parade_

Whither Snails?

That picture up there - which I called "snails" - was taken in October 2018, in Fort Worth, Texas. It seems we came across some snails. Some of the shells appeared to be empty - or maybe the snails were hiding inside. I cannot remember if I ever asked or knew why a small group of snails were on some concrete in an area that I think was a neighborhood park.

(According to this site, "Groups of snails are called escargatoire, walk of snails, the rout of snails, or route of snails. Some other collective nouns used for snail gatherings are the trail, the hood, or the nursery of snails." If they asked me, I'd calling it a sliming of snails.)

Why though is tonight's show about snails? you ask.

It has been months since my last show about animals - I did a show about pandas last October - & I'm not counting the show about parasites I did in November - so I thought it was time for another show about animals. In my modest brainstorming (my brain works so modestly these days) I came up with snails. I wondered if there were lots of songs about snails. & I planned it for this week.

Tonight! Midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland, kboo dot fm everywhere. Prepare for a sliming of snail songs!

Preface To Snails: A Personal Connection

(image from here)

Most of the things I write here are somewhat personal & kinda dumb but this may be too much of both.

When the time came - in 1994 - for me to pick an email address, I chose this one: slug@mail.utexas.edu

That address doesn't exist anymore - I haven't worked at UT in a decade & a half & they retired that mail server. Why that address? I wasn't thinking, & I remembered at the time I had a D&D character in the 1980s I called Slug. That was it. Nothing personally about me. I regretted it - I wish I had been more clever - but that email was mine until I left UT in 2009.

In the 1990s tho I spent time on Usenet. If you don't know what that is, it's not important. It actually still exists, mainly for porn. Like everything else. But I was on what were called newsgroups & I wrote dumb stuff & made some friends, a few of whom I still talk to, mainly on Facebook. Because of my email, I identified myself with names related to slugs. For a while, my username was "Agriolimax reticulatus," the Linnean name for a common slug. It did not satisfy me tho so I looked for another one.

When I discovered the German name for a slug, I was charmed: nacktschnecke. It literally means "naked snail." So for the rest of my time on the Usenet, I was "Die Nacktschnecke." Some folks mistook the "nackt" for "nacht" but otherwise it was uncontroversial.

So you see - for a time I was a slug - a naked snail - which is why I feel a kind of personal connection to this week's theme. Not that I would be comfortable among slugs or snails - I am horrified by them. But in some let's say spiritual way oh yeah. We're a lot alike.