Saturday, August 27, 2022

August 27th Is Weird

It's been about eight years since I happened upon a digital camera & started taking pictures when I was out & about.  I've had no illusions that I was creating art or collecting historical data or whatever.  I was just taking pictures of things I was interested or amused by, & also lots of pictures of my pets, whom I love more than anything else.

Here's something strange: I took almost no pictures on August 27th. Or, maybe, I should rephrase that. If I took a lot of pictures on August 27th, from 2014 to 2021, I didn't save many of them.  Here is one of the few that I have saved:

It's from last year, & of course the context is the fact that for a couple of year right-wing fucknuts kept coming to Portland to - I dunno, "protest"? - cause problems? - who the fuck knows why they showed up.  I was never around any of these situations - didn't attend protests, didn't attempt to stop demonstrations. 
But though I realize it's futile, I am glad some people showed up & stood up to them.

That's an existentialist position, isn't it.

Perhaps it's that it's the end of the summer, perhaps I was simply not inspired for year after year, but for whatever reason, I don't take a lot of pictures on this date.  Except!  Spoiler alert!  I went for a walk in a new neighborhood tonight & took lots of pictures.  Maybe next year I'll share them.  Maybe it'll break whatever losing streak this is.  If it is.

Friday, August 26, 2022

Plans Are Like Pants

(image from here)

One of the almost certainly not amusing things I do is often deliberately confuse the words "plans" & "pants."  Like, I'll say, "I have no pants for the weekend."  Or I'll sing that Close Lobsters song* incorrectly, "Let's make some pants 'cause they can go wrong."  Oddly enough, I don't change the word "plans" for "pants."  Like, I don't say, "I spilled mustard all over my plans."  It's always "pants" for "plans."

Since I overthink most things, I was beginning to overthink this, probably after my wife stared blankly at me when I said "pants" instead of "plans," as in, "What are your pants for the weekend?"  I understood that I might not use that construction often enough for it to become familiar & even possibly endearing to her, so I explained what I meant, & she continued to start blankly at me.  But since I am used to being ignored by her (& nearly everyone else), I began to wonder (or "overthink") if I thought this dumb thing up myself or if I heard it first somewhere else.

To the search engine!  I wrote, "plans are like pants" & I got - well, I got the image above.

It's a quote from Blackadder II, episode 1.  It was said by Rik Mayall's character, Flashheart.  You can hear & see him deliver it right here.  Blackadder is a show I've watched multiple times (well, I've only watched the first season once, I didn't enjoy it that much, but the other seasons multiple times) so I have probably heard that line & laughed at it a lot.

Did it inspire my not amusing & even dumb sometimes habit of confusing the words "pants" & "plans"?  Is it fair to blame such a thing on an innocent television show from more than thirty years ago?  Isn't it a bit disrespectful of the memory of the great Rik Mayall?  To go backwards - it's certainly disrespectful, but it seems somewhat likely & I'll say that maybe it was a factor in me saying this dumb thing.

Anyway.  What are you pants for the weekend?

* I want to point out that at least one lyrics site - - has the line as "Let's make some plans 'cause they can't go wrong."  Maybe those are the correct lyrics.  But they make much more sense if they're "Let's make some plans 'cause they can go wrong."  The act of planning often helps lessen the chances of something going wrong, but it also increases the chance of something you hadn't thought of going wrong.  It seems to make much more sense to me to make plans knowing full well that they can go wrong instead of making them because you think the planning will therefore be free from any problems.  Anyway, if someone knows a Close Lobster, please tell them not to contradict me.  & add: This is what you get for not including lyrics sheets in your albums!

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

Self Help Radio 082322: Turquoise

(original image here.)

Here it is. A radio show about turquoise. Which is a mineral which is prized as a gem which gives its name to a color. When I was a child in the late 1970s, turquoise was quite the fashion - I seem to remember not only seeing some pieces in my mom's room but many more in the convenience store where she worked. I don't see it that much anymore. I had hoped the show might encourage listeners to come to the station & leave turquoise offerings to me. Alas, that did not happen.

What did happen was lots of turquoise songs & lots of turquoise conversations with some funny people pretending to be other people. Three hours of songs & interviews. Seriously, that should've encouraged at least one generous jeweler to drop a ring in the KBOO mailslot. Why didn't it?!?

The show is available to be listened to now & whenever (turquoise accoutrement not required but strongly encouraged) at both the KBOO web page & at the Self Help Radio website. You know at the show's website, you need a username & a password, right? Those are SHR & selfhelp respectively. It may seem like a pain but you can download the show there. Yay?  Everything that happened on the show is below.

Please enjoy. & I'll still gladly take any turquoise off your hands. I love it!

Self Help Radio Turquoise Show
"Turquoise" Ken Nordine _Colors: A Sensuous Listening Experience_
"Turquoise" Donovan _Fairytale_
"Turquoise" Gaze _Mitsumeru_

introduction & definitions

"Turquoise" The Rooks _The Quill Records Story (The Best Of Chicago Garage Bands)_
"Turquoise Tandem Cycle" Jason Crest _A Place In The Sun: The Complete Jason Crest_
"On A Turquoise Cloud" Duke Ellington & His Orchestra _The Duke Ellington Carnegie Hall Concerts, December, 1947_
"Turquoise Boy" Sonic Youth _Rather Ripped_
"Turquoise Hand" Death Of Samantha _Strung Out On Jargon_

interview with turquoise vendor Billy Gilmore

"Turquoise Days (John Peel Session)" Echo & The Bunnymen _The John Peel Sessions 1979-1983_
"Les Yeux Turquoise" Manu Chao _Siberie M'Etait Contéee_
"Turquoise" Calexico _El Mirador_
"Lady Of Turquoise" Cary Grace _Lady Of Turquoise_
"Turquoise Fins" Pere Ubu _Ray Gun Suitcase_

interview with transformative life coach JT Grounded

"Living In The Future" John Prine _Storm Windows_
"Turquoise Jewelry" Camper Van Beethoven _Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart_
"Man On A Turquoise Cloud (For Edward Kennedy Ellington)" Anthony Davis _Lady Of The Mirrors_
"Does Turquoise Work?" Eleanor Friedburger _New View_
"Turquoise Walls" Laura Veirs _My Echo_

interview with Major General Bettina Calvin, founder of Turquoise Squad

"Turquoise Blue" The Incredible String Band _No Ruinous Feud_
"Turquoise Blue" Mutton Gun _Mutton Gun III (With Wood)_
"Turquoise Blue" Marc Ford _Holy Ghost_
"Rosanna's Turquoise" Trio Globo _Carnival Of Souls_
"Turquoise Island" Axiom Of Choice _Unfolding_

interview with musician Philip Kind

"Turquoise" Babe Ruth _Babe Ruth_
"Dancing Through The Turquoise" Alex Izenberg _Caravan Château_
"Turquoise" Sam Rivers _Hues_
"Turquoise & Blue" Anjali _Anjali_
"Turquoise Dream" Sparta _Trust The River_

interview with entrepreneur Telly Fibs

"Turquoise" The Pansies _Purple Red Indigo Blue_
"The Turqoise Castle" The Dentists _Dressed_
"Turquoise House" Jim White _Transnormal Skiperoo_
"White Turquoise" Jonathan Wilson _Frankie Ray_
"Turquoise Lake" Ohbijou _Metal Meets_

conclusion & goodbye

"Turquoise Hexagon Sun" Boards Of Canada _Music Has The Right To Children_
"Turquoise" Paul Bley _Sweet Time_

Monday, August 22, 2022

Whither Turquoise?

(image from here.)

The story of a turquoise radio show is a bit circuitous but perhaps it's interesting. It begins with a memory & an unwritten policy of this dumb show.

In general, I hate general themes. Many have asked me to do shows about things like "cars" or "cities." & all that I can see is the hours before me listening to endless songs that could fit that theme. I know I don't have to do that, but I would feel weird if I just picked, you know, a couple hours of my favorite car or city songs. I want to make a diverse show & discover music too! Besides, every general theme can be broken into many more specific themes.

But occasionally something happens & I am stuck with a general theme. A few years ago, someone asked me very sweetly if I could do a show about the color green. I said sure. I kinda cheated though - I crowdsourced the songs by asking friends of mine on Facebook (half of which are deejays) to pick their favorite "green" song.  This was the result. It made the listener happy, my deejays friends got to program a show, & I didn't have to listen to three thousand green songs.

A few weeks ago, flashing on this memory (which it turns out happened almost exactly four years ago!), I wondered if there were a color which for whatever reason did not lend itself to too many songs. & for some reason I thought about turquoise. It might have been because I was listening to Heaven Up Here. In any event I settled on turquoise & began to gather tunes.

The results of that musical foraging happen tonight on KBOO from midnight to 3am. That'll be on 90.7 fm here in Portland & everywhere at I guess it's Pacific time. I don't specify that enough. But it's the middle of the night pretty much everywhere in the country so what the hell.

Sunday, August 21, 2022

Preface To Turquoise: Has This Ever Happened Before?

(image from here.)

This week's Self Help Radio has the theme turquoise. But why? I'll tell you that tomorrow.

Something interesting has happened however while I have been gathering songs about turquoise & turquoise things.  I have found, in almost equal number, both vocal tracks & instrumentals.  Um.  Okay.  But why is it interesting?

It's common for me these days to put instrumental tracks under my voice during airbreaks.  Usually I reserve them therefore for that.  I guess there's also a part of me that's always felt, for a theme-based show, that an instrumental is kind of cheating.  Is a song entitled "turquoise" about turquoise? I'm the sure the writer of the song would think that, but if the song has a singer going on & on about turquoise, it feels to me like that song is more about turquoise than the instrumental song.

But this turn of events feels unprecedented - I mean, I could fill more than half the show with instrumentals tomorrow! & certainly with some of the jazz tracks, they're songs I like as much as the ones with vocals. I can't say if this has happened before. I wonder what it is about turquoise that lends itself to more wordless songs than perhaps any other color?

So what I'm going to have to do is incorporate more instrumentals into tomorrow's show. Half of the songs I've found would otherwise be left behind! & that would be unfair.