Friday, December 06, 2013

Whither A Touch Of Velvet?

I promise, I had this show planned before dear old Lou Reed left us.  I can't say what I had been listening to that brought me to the decision to make a radio show about a fabric - perhaps my first radio show about a fabric.  (I should keep better records.)

I don't think I own anything that's velvet.  Let me ask my wife.  She says no.  Oh well.  I do like the way it feels!

The Self Help Radio show I'm calling "a touch of velvet" will be on tonight (Friday) from 10pm til midnight.  On 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, or online at wrfl dot fm.

I will probably use the word "lustrous" a lot.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Preface To A Touch Of Velvet: RIP Nelson Mandela

As I started to write this, I learned that Nelson Mandela has died.  It's hard to be serious about a dumb radio show in light of such news.

I wrote on the Facebook that he was one of my lifetime's real heroes.  Like a lot of indie kids growing up in the 1980s, I learned about him from the Specials' song.  I think, for me specifically, it was because Elvis Costello produced it that it found its way into my head - I was a huge Elvis fan & otherwise knew nothing about South Africa at the time.  Later, of course, was the big Artists United Against Apartheid song "Sun City," which, it turns out, I'm lucky to have heard, since half of American stations wouldn't play it because it criticized Reagan.

I took a class in my last year of college, in 1991, which was about the literature of South Africa.  I can't remember the professor's name - I think he was Dutch - he died some time in the 1990s - but the general feel of the apartheid literature was that it wouldn't end without a bloodbath.  Or at least some violence.  Thinking now about the character of Nelson Mandela, it's a wonder the requisite doubts we had were so great.

I don't have much to say - never been to South Africa, you know - maybe never will (although the wife has, & she's loved it).  Just remembering the unforgettable, the greatness & humility & strength of Nelson Mandela.  What a life!

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

The Invention Of The Glitch

Meet Elmo Notio, the inventor of the glitch.
Before Elmo, they say, things went off without a hitch!
(Mainly because no one knew Price Robert Fitch
Who promoted, not invented, the wonderful hitch.)
So people went without, they'd moan, they'd bitch,
Some person might scratch, the other might itch.
A friend, then, to Elmo Notio did snitch:
"Do you see what happens when they throw the switch?
It's lovely! It's perfect!  Why, it makes me twitch!"
"Hmmp," said young Elmo, "a dreadful sales pitch.
I'm a poor, young inventor who longs to be rich!"
But Elmo & his friend, whose name was Mitch,
Visited a local consortium, which
Advised them to find their own personal niche.
& Elmo, who felt his life was in the ditch,
Abandoned old Mitch to his despair & his twitch,
& decided he must the perfect workplace enrich.
At home he worked furiously, like a tailor on a stitch,
He cackled like crazy, high & wicked, like a witch,
Till suddenly, by accident, he invented the glitch!
In days of old, things now rare, like perfect pitch,
Were as common as nostalgia, & irony, & kitsch.
All because of Elmo Notio, & his ubiquitous glitch.
(Also, you'll know, things go off with a hitch.
No one is more happy than Price Robert Fitch.)
Glitches are everywhere, & as much as you'd wish
They failed to make poor Elmo Notio rich.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Self Help Radio 112930: Magda's Birthday Show 2013

Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!
Me: Happy birthday!
Wife: Not good enough.  Radio show, please.
Me: But...  I've done one for you for seven years!
Wife: More, please.
Me: I'm running out of birthday songs!
Wife: More more more, please.
Me: Oh all right.
Wife: It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

Radio show:
Or directly: part I | part II
Birthday songs: below
Any repeats? Not allowed.

Happy birthday to everyone!

(part one)

"Happy Birthday" The Luddites _Detroit Musician Alliance: Motor CD_
"(Gimme That) Lipstick" Gruppo Sportivo _10 Mistakes / Buddy Odor Is A Gas_
"Birthday Song" AndrĂ© Herman D¨ne _Taglich Brot_

"Born Never Asked" Laurie Anderson _Big Science_
"Birthday Girl" Frontier Ruckus _Eternity Of Dimming_
"The Birthday Girl" Nobunny _Secret Songs: Reflections From The Ear Mirror_
"Happy Birthday" Cloud Control _Dream Cave_

"Birthday" Blur _Leisure_
"The Birthday Party" Don Gillmor, Michelle Campagne, Davy Gallant, & Marie-Louise Gay _The Fabulous Song_
"Spring Break (Birthday Song)" Ex Cops _True Hallucinations_
"Birthday Song" Blaine L Reininger _Night Air_

"Today It Is My Birthday" Synthetic Socks _Today It Is My Birthday_
"The Unbirthday Song" Dennis Day _Happy Birthday To You_
"Fiddler's Birthday Party" Benny Martin _Big Daddy Of The Fiddle & Bow_

(part two)

"Happy Birthday Darlin'" Conway Twitty _Cross Winds_
"Birthday Kiss" Spectrals _Fair Ohs / Spectrals 7"_
"Birthday" Royal Canoe _Today We're Believers_

"Why Can't My Dolly Have A Birthday Party?" The Bran Flakes _Hey Won't Somebody Come & Play?_
"At The Birthday Party" Bablicon _In A Different City_
"Bad Birthday" Skip That Birthday Party _Girls Rock Camp Alliance: 2010 International Camper Band Compilation_
"Happy Birthday Ralph" Atom & His Package _Hair: Debatable_
"Fat, Dumb, & Happy Birthday" Bob Marley _Upta Camp_
"Happy Birthday" Beep Beep _Enchanted Islands_

"Birthday Fella" Marva Josie _Girls On 45: A Collection Of Girl Groups, Girlie Pop & Soulful Ladies_
"(Happy Birthday) Mr. Twenty One" The Orlons _The Wah-Watusi + South Street_
"21" The Lucksmiths _Boondoggle_
"Romans" Minks _Tides End_

"Happy Country Birthday Darling" Rodney Lay & The Wild West _Happy Country Birthday Darling_
"Happy Birthday" Ben Morris & The Great American Boxcar Chorus _There Is No Fun In Funeral_
"Birthday" Sheepdogs _Learn & Burn_