Self Help Radio 080219: Shyness

(Original image here.)

Well, I warned you it would be late.  Let's just pretend the show was a little shy, yes?

It's late in the day & later where you are so I'll just say I think it turned out well despite me frantically putting it together in climps & clumps.  It may also be the first place you hear the idiom "shy as the pepper on a plate of cheese."  & possibly the last.

So: Self Help Radio dot net right now.  Username SHR, password selfhelp.  Please don't be shy, share this shyness with everyone!

Self Help Radio Shyness Show

"I'm A Shy Guy" Nat King Cole Trio _Jumpin' At Capitol: The Best Of The Nat King Cole Trio_
"Shy Baby" Curley Williams & His Georgia Peach Pickers _Swing & Boogie Time With Curley Williams & His Georgia Peach Pickers_
"Bashful & Blue" Floyd Turnham Orchestra _Rhythm & Blues Goes Rock & Roll, Vol. 1_

introduction & definitions

"Shy Boy" Tomorrow _Tomorrow_
"Shy Boy" The Lovelites _With Love From The Lovelites_
"Don't Be Shy" Cat Stevens _The Road To Find Out_
"Too Shy" Direct Hits _Whaam! Bam! Thank You Dan! A Whaam! Records Compilation 1981-1984_
"The Shyest Time" The Apartments _The Shyest Time_

interview with motivational speaker Dirk Robbins

"Ask" The Pines _Romantic & Square Is Hip & Aware_
"Shy Like You" 14 Iced Bears _In The Beginning_
"Shy Away" Love Parade _Past Crimes_
"Starshy" Heavenly _Le Jardin De Heavenly_
"Too Shy" Moe Tucker _I Spent A Week There The Other Night_

interview with the shyest person in the world, author Mary Hansom

"Homosapien" Pansy Division _Deflowered_
"Shy" Beezus _Lives Of The Saints_
"I Would But I'm Shy" Fast & Dirty _Live From Our Pants_
"Shy Laura" The Summer Suns _Bedbugs_
"Bashful" The Pacific Ocean _Birds Don't Think They're Flying_

a dramatic readings of a classic rock song: "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo

"All Dressed Up & Shy" Club 8 _Nouvelle_
"Shy Song" True Love Always _Spring Collection_
"The Shy Guy Returns A Toaster" Jonathan Winters _Wings It!_
"I'm Shy" The Juliana Hatfield Three _Whatever, My Love_
"Don't Be Shy" The Libertines _The Libertines_

an exploration of idioms using the word 'shy'

"Camera-Shy" The Lucksmiths _Naturaliste_
"For The Camera Shy" Marine Life _Fool Of A Kind_
"Shy Boy" Gap Dream _This Is Gap Dream_
"Shyness" Thieves Like Us _Again & Again_
"Shy" Local Natives _Violet Street_

conclusion & goodbye

"2 Shy" Happy Birthday _Happy Birthday_
"Too Shy To Die" Buy Off The Bar _It's Up To Billy_

Whither Shyness?

(I took this picture in May, I titled it "Shy Mountains.")

Honestly, it's surprising that it's taken me this long to do a show about shyness.  The reason it happened has nothing to do with a song or songs I was listening to.  Instead, I happened upon a discussion, which I referenced yesterday, about the difference between shyness & introversion.  I started thinking how hard it would be to do a show about introversion.  That would take me weeks!  But shyness would be easy!

It of course began with "Ask" by the Smiths & down the rabbit hole I went.  I noticed that the word "shy" can mean to recoil or step back from, like in gun shy or camera shy - or even in the phrase shy away.  That opened up other possibilities - & took us farther away from introversion.

Here's where I mention the show will happen tomorrow at noon, but, alas, it won't.  I have a morning commitment at a radio station (sigh) but will work on the show as soon as I get home.  It should happen some time tomorrow afternoon.  I hope that doesn't inconvenience you.  Let's just pretend this week's show will be a little shy, as well.

So! Tomorrow! In the afternoon! Pacific time afternoon!  Self Help Radio dot net!  Don't be too shy to listen!

Preface To Shyness: Two Stories About How Shy I Am

For the purposes of these tales, I suppose I am conflating shyness with introversion.  That may be wrong.  According to this article, "Shyness & introversion are not the same thing. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, & introversion is a preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments."  I don't know if I entirely agree - in my life those two things have coincided.

For some reason, I was a very shy kid, but only around strangers.  If I knew someone, I would warm up & even be ridiculously loud.  But certain things terrified me, & one of them in particular was cold-calling someone on the phone.  Especially to do something like order pizza.

My mother worked nights often at a convenience store, & although we were ostensibly watched by my younger sister (six years older than I) (she was still living at home), she was often out with her friends, underage drinking & getting high & what-not.  My mother didn't ask her to cook for us, & in fact we would be often required to fend for ourselves, either to walk to a nearby grocery store (a Minyard's) to get something in a can, or, when a Domino's opened nearby, to call for pizza delivery.

Most kids I would imagine would love to call to order pizza - I'm certain it's something we play-acted doing when we were younger.  But my little brother & I would fight over calling for a pizza - & the loser of the fight would have to call.

At some point, I got exhausted by always having to struggle to get these simple tasks done, so I eventually just learned to be the mouthpiece for the two of us.  I went to the counter, I called whomever, I asked the person who worked wherever where things were.  In a sense, that's what's made me less introverted & what's kept my little brother more or less the same quiet person he was when he was a kid.

But I do remember the first time I had to stand up & speak at a meeting at KVRX.  My legs started to tremble.  I don't really think I've gotten much better.

The second story does more involve introversion than shyness, although I do think my shyness is involved.  I dated for a time a woman who was very outgoing, who loved dinner parties & that sort of thing.  She had other introverts as friends so said she understood when I didn't want to tag along, but she assumed that I also had zero social skills.  When I finally joined her at some gathering, she was shocked to see me be friendly & chatty & otherwise the opposite of miserable.  I told her, "Don't mistake being anti-social because I prefer to be alone with being anti-social because I'm socially awkward."

But thinking about it, my earlier experiences with my little brother - just being so tired about every human interaction needing a fight to precipitate it - & frankly, when I bested him, my little brother was always so bad at those interactions because he was really quite shy - it made me develop some kinds of social skills he probably never did.  As far as I know.

The most obvious time my shyness is in view these days is when I am walking my dogs by myself.  I listen to music & desperate hope I don't have to talk to other dog walkers or strangers or people who want to meet my dogs.  I have what I imagine is an obviously fake smile I give to people which I hope warns them away.  My dogs, however, aren't shy at all.  Assholes.

Today I Rode A Tram Through The City

It's true.  & walked across a bridge.  & ate lemon ice cream.  & drove to a pizza place after it had closed because my wife left her phone there & when she realized it, she did some "Find Your Phone" magic that made the phone tell whoever had it to call me.

We had friends in town from Texas.  That makes four times we've had visitors in the two or so months we've been here.  In Fort Worth, we had visitors the same amount - one friend from Kentucky & two from Austin - & they came for a visit twice.  That's in three years.

By the way, I have family in the D/FW metroplex.  A mother, a sister, three brothers, two sisters-in-law, one brother-in-law, & a slew of nieces, nephews, & three children I think of nieces & nephews.  Of that amazing extended family, only one of them - a nephew - visited us in Fort Worth.  My mother didn't even visit us!

I very much doubt any member of my family will visit us here, but I do imagine other friends will find their way to this lovely city & we'll be here to hang out if they want.  We ate so much food today.  We ate too much food today.

Tomorrow night, another Freeform Portland sub show.  Friday, another Self Help Radio.  Now, sleep.

It Was A Nice Day

This is perhaps a new thing I can say: I volunteered at three different radio stations in a twenty-four hour period.  & I wonder why I am tired all time.

Seriously, I am tired all the time, & I never do anything.  Should I see a professional?

Yes, I attended a meeting at one station on Sunday night at 4pm, I worked for the music library of a different radio station today at 2pm, & went to work on similar stuff for a third station at 4:30pm.  That's a weird kind of achievement, yeah?

It was probably more than all that & I feel like I am finally finding things I can help with here in town.  Whether any of that leads to me getting to do Self Help Radio on a local station is another matter.  But!  I love helping out.

Is there enough time tonight to binge the last season of Orange Is The New Black?  Is that why I'm tired all the time?