Two Four Zero Zero

Holy stockyards, this is the two thousand four hundredth post on this site.  Who knew I had so many uninteresting words in me?  I should be giving advice on Pinterest!

As a public service, here are samples of things you'd find if you were desperate enough for reading material that you looked into past entries on this blog (chosen at random thanks to Random Dot Org).

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March 2, 2010:

I'll be here if you need zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

June 17, 2015:

This is something else I am sort of annoyed by: the stock question that cashiers ask when you get to check-out: "Did you find everything okay?"  I want to say, "Whether I did or not, this is exactly the wrong place to ask me.  If I didn't, we would hold up the line for everyone else because I wasn't smart enough to find any number of the clearly-marked employees around the store to ask for help.  In fact, you should probably say, 'If you haven't found everything you came for at this point, you're a moron & you don't deserve my help.'"

March 9, 2007:

Today's show will be some sounds from bands that are coming to Austin next week for a little-known musical festival called "Over By Over-Rated." If you happen to be coming to town, please come visit KOOP. If you happen to be coming to town & you're going to visit KOOP, & it's a Friday afternoon, come visit me. I'll put you on the air & we'll cry about our lost youth.

January 2, 2008:

I am reminded of the great parable of
the footstools in one forgotten religion
(or another) which you may remember
from your religious youth

December 22, 2011:

I promise I won't scream into the microphone like I've been doing lately.

September 10, 2012:

Anyway, I didn't find any songs about expectorating, so it's fine.

May 12, 2010:

So how do you successfully rescue a cat in this day & age? Pay attention to the flyers! Pay attention to strays! Be more like my wife, not like me - don't just say hello to neighborhood cats, but look them in the eye & say, "Didn't I see your picture on a telephone pole?"

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So much godawful prose!  & it's all here, for the intrepid explorer!  Did I say intrepid?  I meant...  Oh, never mind.

Here's to 2400 more oh please god no!

Whither No Show At All This Week?

Aaggh!  I would just be driving home from Self Help Radio right now if I were doing the show in Lexington!  But I'm not - I'm somewhere that's 20 degrees warmer than it is there.

What's worse, I'm impatient.  I know I could be doing fun things with another radio station - I don't even need to be on the air, just involved - but they are slow to getting back at me.  I will need to schedule a visit with them to follow-up on my emails & phone calls.  Maybe that will seem pushy or presumptuous - but I feel the need to show them my enthusiasm.

What I'll end up doing is making another episode of Self Help Radio, starting next week, & just sharing them on the website until there's a radio home for them.  I half-expected to do this anyway - look at the dates for upcoming shows on the website.  But there is part of me that thought I could actually be on the radio sooner than later.

So!  The show will return next Friday, the 19th.  I will start working on it now.  It may never make it to the airwaves, but it will exist, a sign of my weird need to make radio shows even when they're not on the radio.  Something's wrong with me, I know.

Preface To Not Having A Show This Week: What The Hell Will I Do With Myself

Actually, all of my music is still in boxes, so it's a good thing there won't be a Self Help Radio this week.

& frankly, I'm going to get impatient with the hoops I'll doubtless have to jump through before I can get back on the air.

(Honestly, I'm not complaining: it's good to learn the rules of a new organization, & bad to suppose they'll be like previous ones.  Each station interprets FCC regulations to fit its own understanding & has its own policies & procedures to be familiar with.)

Having said all that, I miss doing the show, so, barring any magical change of fortune, I intend to start doing Self Help Radio next week.  I'll put shows out at noon on Fridays like I did the last time I podcasted.

If that's okay with you.  Well, even if it's not okay with you.  My radio itch needs to be scratched, even if there's no radio in sight.

Prospects, Part II

(Three logos, taken from their respective websites.)

If Self Help Radio is going to return to the air in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, it has its best chance(s) to do so on one of these three stations.  They are all non-commercial, as I can't really imagine my show anywhere else.

Here's what I think:

KFTW: The Southside Pirate, on the air at 97.5 fm in Fort Worth, is a newish Low Power FM station which, according to its Facebook page, is "dedicated to local musicians in general, in Fort Worth, Texas in particular, & the great Southside community," featuring "100% LOCAL Music & Programming, playing music from DFW in Fort Worth Texas."

What are the chances the show finds a home here?  I can't say.  The only way to communicate with the station - they don't appear to have a storefront - is by messaging them on Facebook, which I did as soon as I got internet in our house yesterday.  Facebook says the message was seen soon after I sent it, but there's been no response as of this writing.

Qualms: I know very little about Fort Worth music, so I doubt a show like Self Help Radio could thrive on KFTW.  However, it depends on what one means by "local programming."  I am a local, I would be programming a show locally.

The chances of Self Help Radio finding a home at KFTW are the unlucky toss of a coin.

KTCU is the student radio station at TCU.  They're on 88.7 fm in Fort Worth, & I've been listening to them for the most part while I've been driving around town the past couple of days.  College radio is when I began, & WRFL is obviously a college radio station, so I am very comfortable in that milieu.  In addition to what I call "freeform" programming, KTCU has a slew of "specialty" or "block" shows, especially on the weekends.  I've been entertained.

What are the chances the show finds a home here?  I am more hopeful about this station.  I called them a month ago to ask if they allowed non-students to deejay, & was told with enthusiasm that they did & that I should come by.  I told the caller than I wasn't moving to Fort Worth until August, & he helpfully gave me names to contact once I was here.  I will call those people tomorrow.

Qualms: Oh, I am so full of self-doubt that I am worried that Self Help Radio won't "fit" on their station.  One thing I notice is that the programmers don't do a lot of airbreaks.  I do.  I'm a chatty dude.  & I worry someone will have a problem with the show's fake interviews.  I worry, is what I am trying to say.  I worry without any reason to worry at this early moment.  There'll be more to report later.  & doubtless more to worry about.

Still, I think the chances of Self Help Radio find a home at KTCU are pretty good.

KNON is Dallas' community radio station, a station I listened to back in high school, a station I think is as good as KOOP down in Austin.  They're on at 89.3 fm in Dallas, & their diversity is incredible.  I can't tune them in from here, but I listen to them when I'm in Dallas, & I can here them all over the suburbs.

What are the chances the show finds a home here?  The station's website asks that you send in a volunteer application/show proposal, which I did yesterday.  They obviously don't program new shows unless an old show ends or is otherwise removed from the schedule.  One clear issue is that they're in Dallas & I'm in Fort Worth.  Even without a lot of traffic, it'd take me almost an hour to get there for each show, not to mention volunteering, which I will want to do.

So, the chances of Self Help Radio finding a home at KNON are probably very small.

& yet - who knows what the future will bring?