Saturday, June 27, 2020

Preface To Basements: Basement Quiz Answers!

Yesterday, I shared a few song lyrics & asked if you knew what they were.  I'm sure they were simple, but I got no responses.  Alas!  But I figured I'd tell you the answers today, if you don't mind.

*Spoilers*!  If you want to try to answer, please go directly to yesterday's post!  Here, before you see the answers, is a picture I took in 2014 called "Basement Door."

(I must have taken that picture in Kentucky, although I have no idea where.)

Here are the lines followed by their sources:

1) Someone's in the basement, mixing up the medicine

Bob Dylan, "Subterranean Homesick Blues," from Bringing It All Back Home

2) My friends out there rolling round the basement floor

Elton John, "Someone Saved My Life Tonight," from Captain Fantastic

3) I was lying in a burned out basement with the full moon in my eyes

Neil Young, "After The Gold Rush," from After The Gold Rush

4) In the basement bars, in the backs of cars

Rush, "Subdivisions," from Signals

5) My heart's in the basement, my weekend's at an all-time low

David Bowie, "Queen Bitch," from Hunky Dory

6) Down in the basement, we hear the sound of machines

Talking Heads, "Girlfriend Is Better," from Speaking In Tongues

7) From every dingy basement on every dingy street, every dragging hand clap over every dragging beat

The Clash, "Death Or Glory," from Combat Rock

Thanks for playing!

Friday, June 26, 2020

Basement Quiz

When I decided to explore "basements" as a theme, the following songs - based on their lyrics - immediately made me think they would be good for the show - but they were ultimately rejected because the songs themselves were not about basements.

As an exercise, let me share with you the lyrics of songs that mention basements but are not songs about basements.  If you feel like treating this as a quiz, please answer as a comment.  Maybe I can find a prize for you!  But don't cheat - obviously you can find the answers at lyrics sites on the web.

Each lyric mentions a basement or basements.  Tell me the artist, song title, & the album.  Let's see how you do:

1) Someone's in the basement, mixing up the medicine

2) My friends out there rolling round the basement floor

3) I was lying in a burned out basement with the full moon in my eyes

4) In the basement bars, in the backs of cars

5) My heart's in the basement, my weekend's at an all-time low

6) Down in the basement, we hear the sound of machines

7) From every dingy basement on every dingy street, every dragging hand clap over every dragging beat

These are all songs I thought of when I thought about the theme "basement."  But - you won't hear them on Monday's show, because they're not really songs about basements.

But I'm curious if you know what the songs are!

Thursday, June 25, 2020

June 25, 2007

This is something I wrote on the blog thirteen years ago.  I had much more fun then, it seems.  I wonder what happened to me.  It was called "Oh Ye Of Little Fates!"

Perhaps a few introductory remarks might be in order. For those of us joining you overseas. In case your ship, which shall sail, sails alas! I am happy to brief the settlement & offer the customary light fare that recruits expect in every buffet & bar on this side of the world. Alas!

1) There will be no fondling of hallowed topics on this radio show. It's either fuck them or get out of the way.
2) When I say "sit still," I mean "sit still." When I say "look away," I mean, "panic!"
3) The importance of yard work - or the fretting about thereof - shall not be undersold.
4) Recently it has come to my attention that you require prerecorded cues to determine when you need to laugh. This is unacceptable.
5) However, subliminal sounds (which sound a lot like goats weeping) have been inserted into archived radio shows to help you know when you are supposed to be amused. Don't thank me all at once.
6) Fire breathing may seem hokey but it can totally mess your throat up.
7) Even metaphorically.
8) I was thinking about it, though, when you have fantasy movies or books or whatever & the graceful gallant knight is battling the wild, evil dragon, & the dragon roars & flame comes out of its mouth, that flame is basically the dragon's flammable spit. Am I right? Like, the spit has a chemical reaction to oxygen & turns to flame. If so, that's just gross.
9) Because, you know, human fire breathers have to put liquid into their mouths in order to blow fire. Human spit is not flammable. Not ever. Not even for people with Butt Breath.
10) Butt Breath cannot be detected on the radio, which may explain why so many people at KOOP have Butt Breath.
11) They know who they are.
12) It's getting so that your average meeting at KOOP, even when held at a fancy downtown eatery, smells like it's being held in the front restroom of the United States Diarrhea Club.
13) If you know what I mean.
14) On this radio show, we don't talk about body parts much.
15) On this blog, it's all butts & balls.
16) & saliva & blood.
17) & recalcitrance & woe.
18) Do not operate heavy machinery for a few hours after my show. This isn't because of something my show does to your brain - this is because it's Friday & you're supposed to be off work. & when you're off work, you drink. A lot. So don't operate heavy machinery when you're drunk. Duh.
19) Light machinery is fine.
20) Light machinery is machinery an eight-year-old girl can pick up & carry around for seven minutes.
21) Singing along is fine.
22) Sexing along is weird.
23) There is only one other thing to mention.
24) Why must you constantly change record labels?
25) I can't keep up with your reissues!

For more in an active sense, you can as of right now go to the archive page & listen to last Friday's exciting & exacting episode. I will be over at your house later today to ask you how it made you feel. Make me scones.

Monday, June 22, 2020

Self Help Radio 062220: Shadows

(Original image here.)

Actually, I don't think I've ever seen the television show Dark Shadows.  It was a little before my time, & not something I ever saw in syndication when I was a kid.  & I would've loved it - I loved vampires & all kinds of spooky stuff back then.  Anyway, I was fucking with the comic book up there for this post & thought, "Why have I never seen Dark Shadows?"

The wife & I tossed around an idea for a bit for the show in which she's supposed to be a fan of Dark Shadows but what she really loves is What We Do In The Shadows.  But we couldn't think of anything too funny because, you see, neither of us had seen the former.  Mistaken identity is not funny in & of itself.

There were too many shadow songs to choose from but I did my best.  I couldn't find a place for some famous ones, like that Stones song, & I am sad I ran out of time for some newer stuff.  But whatever. Here's your shadow show.  I hope you like.

It's now at the Self Help Radio website.  Remember username/password SHR/selfhelp.  What happens on the show is below.


Self Help Radio Shadows Show
"Why Do I Have A Shadow?" Dorothy Collins _Experiment Songs (From Ballads For The Age Of Science)_
"In The Shadows" Ups & Downs _Out Of The Darkness (Sleepless, Singles, & Other Stories)_
"Shadow" Blouse _Terminal Sales Vol. 4: Please To Enjoy_

introduction & definitions my Radio Dad interrupts!

"Shadow Woman" The Growlers _Natural Affair_
"Shadows" Yo La Tengo _I Can Hear The Heart Beating As One_
"Shadows" Malcolm Middleton _Waxing Gibbous_
"Shadow" The Primitives _Lovely_
"Shadowplay" Joy Division _Unknown Pleasures_

a letter is read on the air

"Shadowtime" Siouxsie & The Banshees _Superstition_
"Standing In The Shadows Of Love" The Four Tops _The Best Of Four Tops_
"The Shadow" Tanya Donelly _Beautysleep_
"Moonshadow" Cat Stevens _Teaser & The Firecat_
"Shadow" Teen _Good Fruit_

a discussion about shadow idioms my producer Fred interrupts!

"Only A Shadow" Cleaners From Venus _Midnight Cleaners_
"Shadow Of A Doubt" Sonic Youth _Evol_
"Shadowman" MomusMcClymont _MomusMcClymont_
"No Shade In Shadow" Kristin Hersh _Possible Dust Clouds_
"Shadows" Jean-Paul Sartre Experience _The Size Of Food_

a discussion about shadow idioms

"Shadows" Wagon Christ _Sorry I Make You Lush_
"Love In The Shadows" The Magnetic Fields _69 Love Songs_
"In The Shadows" Ivy _Realistic_
"Cast No Shadows" The Mekons _Journey To The End Of The Night_
"Under Streetlights Shadows" Rocketship _Thanks To You_

conclusion & goodbye

"Cast A Shadow" Beat Happening _Black Candy_
"Cast A Shadow" Coves _Soft Friday_
"Caught In My Shadow" The Wonder Stuff _Never Loved Elvis_
"Looking In The Shadows" The Raincoats _Looking In The Shadows_
"Complicated Shadows (Cashbox Version)" Elvis Costello & The Attractions _The Other End Of The Telescope_

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Whither Shadows?

(By one of my favorite painters of shadows.  Found here.)

It's been a while - back before the plague - someone at Freeform asked me if I'd ever done a show about shadows.  I said, no.  Why not?  Because holy shit can you imagine how many songs there would be about shadows?  You should still do a show about shadows.  Okay, I will.

That person recently asked me at a meeting if I'd done the show about shadows yet.  I sheepishly said no.  But I felt really bad about it.  & I was thinking, oh no, we're going to have to make small talk again at another Zoom meeting & I'm going to be asked if I've made a show about shadows yet so damn it I'd better make a show about shadows.

Four thousand songs later (rough estimate), there'll be a show about shadows.  It won't have your favorite song about shadows.  Sorry.  There were too many of them.  But there'll be plenty of songs about shadows.  Maybe a new favorite song about shadows.

To think.  I'm doing this to not be embarrassed at a Zoom meeting!

Tomorrow.  Self Help Radio dot net.  That's all.