Saturday, September 14, 2019

Preface To A Frank Show: Can't Figure Out Time Around Here

When I say "time," I don't mean personal, day-to-day time.  I've said this before, but I can't ever believe I was bored when I was a kid.  I have way too much to do these days, I can't imagine lying around on my bed after dinner, homework finished, not tired, feeling too lazy to turn the lights on when the sun went down, just bored out of my fucking skull.  But I know that happened a lot.

No, what I mean about time here is this: we moved to Portland in May, roughly four months ago.  But if you'd ask me how long we've lived here, I think I might say, "A year? Two? Maybe three?"

Some weeks seem to go by fast, but sometimes I think, when I arrive at a radio station, I think, "Has it been a month since I've been here?"  When it's often been just a couple of days.

A couple of things have contributed to this recently.  I was pretty sick for three or four days, er, was it three weeks ago?  (Or maybe last summer?)  That screwed up time somewhat.  The other is that one of our pups isn't well, & it's been a lot of stress.

This seems to suggest that illness has screwed up time, but it's not just that: both the wife & I have had expectations foiled & realized.  It's strange to take stock, to ask oneself where one would have predicted to be in a month or two.  I can't believe, for example, I've done shows on three different radio stations in the past few months.  I've gone on about this before, but you have to understand: there were virtually no opportunities in Dallas for radio.  This place is one opportunity after another.

& now the wife has gone away to visit her family in California for a week, & I am left to my own obviously screwed-up devices.  You know how there are those clocks that are somewhat tuned to an atomic clock somewhere, so they don't lose a second but after a million years?  If someone could set a clock to me, it would probably confuse the hell out of the clock connected to the atomic one.

It might not be Portland, I understand: it might just be me.

Friday, September 13, 2019

A Day Without Sleep

This is not true!  There has been sleep today!

Let me tell you where there has been sleep today: where people slept.  The World Sleep Meter registered sleep in normal proportions except - there was that place - it was in Portland - let's look at the records - was there someone who, in a twenty-four hour period, slept less than four hours?

Experts agree: this is unsustainable.  Also, experts say: subject had delicious vegan Thai food for dinner?  Holy shit - add the experts - that sounds amazing.

In the evening - after dinner, but before drinking - subject helped the neighbors chase an errant duckling around the neighborhood before catching it & letting the neighbors return it to where it belonged.  Said the neighbor, "This is Portland!"

Against all advice, subject drank a couple of glasses of whiskey in the evening & watched YouTube videos.  Experts predict the amount of sleep required to return subject to some kind of equilibrium may result in diminished REM times in nearby homes.

As there is only a finite amount of sleep.


All there is is sleep.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Where Was I Today?

Please don't think I've forgotten you!  The next few days are going to be a little busy.

This is something strange to reflect on: when I lived in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, I not only didn't get to do Self Help Radio, I barely got to do any kind of radio at all.  KNON's deejays loved doing their shows, & if they couldn't do it, they generally had a "crew" of folks who helped out who took care of their shows if they missed it.  In general, I might sub the morning shows, but that was it.

The situation here is vastly different.  This week, I turned down two shows on two different stations.  In one case, I simply wouldn't have had the time to make a decent show - & in the other, I had to take a pup to the vet in the morning so couldn't have done the show anyway.

& tonight I am preparing to do four hours of Freeform Portland - from 2am to 6am, my favorite time to play on the radio.

So if you're feeling ignored, I'm sorry.  I'm busy.  Happily busy.  As a friend told me today, it appears this is the right town for me to end up in.

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Self Help Radio 090919: Passion

(Original image here.)

A week ago I promised I would post my shows the same day I did them, but this week I was asked to sub a show on XRAY FM so I could not.  However, I can to-day.  I present to you the second Self Help Radio in Portland: a show about passion.

Most people wouldn't consider me a passionate fellow, although I think of myself as one.  Passionate about the things I love, like music, radio, my pets, my wife, all kinds of creation.  In that order?  Oops.  Too bad I am writing this on a computer & there's no way to correct that sentence in order to make my pets seem more important than radio.  I just hope they don't read this & get upset.

The show is waiting for you at the Self Help Radio website, where it will require you to adopt a secret name (SHR) & use a secret word of love (selfhelp) to give you access to the passion.  There will be no surprises, however - well, perhaps the intensity will surprose you - as you can see the songs played & the guests' appearances below.

Whew!  That was a passionate show.  I need a lie-down.

Self Help Radio Passion Show

part one:
"Passion" Watsie Lumbard And The East-Men featuring Hal Jaxon _Confidential Doo Wop, Vol. 3_
"Passion Or Patterns" Units _Digital Stimulation_
"Bulbs Of Passion" Dinosaur Jr _Dinosaur_

introduction & definitions

"Passion Is No Ordinary Word" Graham Parker & The Rumour _Squeezing Out Sparks_
"Pashernate Love" Morrissey _The HMV/Parlophone Singles 88-95_
"Passion For Water" Liechtenstein _Fast Forward_
"Passionate Kisses" Lucinda Williams _Passionate Kisses_

interview with motivational speaker Dirk Robbins

"Passionate Friend" The Teardrop Explodes _Wilder_
"The Passion" English Electric _Baby I'm Yours_
"Mad Passionate Love" Bernard Bresslaw _British Comedy Classics_
"Rak Tong Rorn (Love Passion)" Viparat Piengsuwan _Thai Beat A Go-Go Volume 2 (Groovy 60's Sounds From The Land Of Smile!)_

introducing Ned Dry

"The Passion Of Lovers" Bauhaus _1979-1983_
"Passion Fall Down" The Wreckery _Past Imperfect_

part two:
"Passion Of Mine" Black & White Lovers _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 8_
"Passion In The Afternoon" The Desert Wolves _Pontification_
"The Passion" Billy Bragg _Talking With The Taxman About Poetry_

interview with romance novelist Raymond Dunlap

"Plastic Passion" The Cure _Boys Don't Cry_
"Talk About The Passion" R.E.M. _Murmur_
"Scorpio: The Passionate Hero" The Zodiac _Cosmic Sounds_
"The Passionate Shepherd To His Love" P.D.Q. Bach _Liebeslieder Polkas_
"Passion Killer" One The Juggler _Nearly A Sin_

interview with Bingham Killkid

"Passion Of Love" The Pretty Things _Singles As & Bs_
"Passionate Love" The Goodtime Music Co. _The Sound Of Young Sacramento_
"Cool Passion" Data _Accumulator (1980-1985)_
"Passion Play" Papas Fritas _Papas Fritas_

conclusion & a passionate farewell

"This Passionate Breed" The Sun & The Moon _The Sun & The Moon_
"Nights Of Passion" The Radicals _The Bristol Reggae Explosion 1978-1983_

Sunday, September 08, 2019

Whither Passion?

(Image from here.)

Of course, Self Help Radio has always been known as a passionate show.  Perhaps too passionate.  It's been called, by jealous critics, ardent, amorous, even concupiscent, which is a word that sounds way naughtier than it actually is.  Actually, no, it's pretty naughty.  Not as naughty as, say, lascivious, aroused, or prurient, which are to be clear not words anyone has used to describe Self Help Radio.  They pretty much stop at passionate, if they start at all.

Which brings us to this week's show: can a passionate show like Self Help Radio get introspective & examine its own passion?  Will that not make the show too passionate?  Isn't it better to dispassionately examine oneself, to have a better understanding, unsullied by over-emotion?  Perhaps.  But what else can the show do?  Hire an outside agency?  Take unsolicited criticism?  Never!

Self Help Radio, passionate show that it is, is passionate about passion, & therefore that's what we'll explore tomorrow morning, Monday the 9th, from 6 to 8 am on 90.3 + 98.3 fm Freeform Portland.  If you yourself are a fan of passion, you'll want to wake up for it.  Although it may be too passionate for a Monday morning.

You've been, I imagine, properly admonished.