Self Help Radio 032818: Empires

(The Self Help Radio Empire circa never.  Original image here.)

The empire show rose & then it fell.  With not very much art or culture to show for it.  Just an entire empire of regret & rue.  It makes you wonder what held it together for the two hours it existed.  Spite?  Dread?  Delusion?  Whatever it was, it left a record, or at least a couple of mp3s, so other radio empires can laugh at its folly & probably also forget it ever happened.

Is that you as well?  Yes?  Well, in case you change your mind, you can relive all one hundred & twenty minutes of the Self Help Radio empire show at the Self Help Radio website.  You don't need a visa or passport or anything to enter, but you'll need to know secret words: username SHR & password selfhelp .  We're a pretty old show empire.  The empire lasted two hours & each hour gets its own volume, or, well, mp3 file.  What's in those files is listed below.

Enjoy the imperial sounds!

(part one)

"Songs Of Empire" Push Kings _Push Kings_
"Empire" Jack Frost _Snow Job_
"Art/Empire/Industry" Bill Nelson's Red Noise _Sound On Sound_

"Victoria" The Kinks _Arthur Or The Decline & Fall Of The British Empire_
"Sawdust & Empire" Attila The Stockbroker _The Pen & The Sword_
"Take Down The Union Jack" Billy Bragg & The Blokes _England, Half English_
"Empire" Bomb The Bass _Clear_

interview with author David Fruchter

"Empire Song" Killing Joke _Revelations_
"One Of Our Submarines" Thomas Dolby _The Golden Age Of Wireless_
"Empire Of The Senseless" The Mekons _The Mekons Rock 'N' Roll_

(part two)

"Empires" Jack Hardy _Noir_

interview with a specialist on empires an umpire

"Scythian Empires" Andrew Bird _Armchair Apocrypha_
"Lizard Empire" Chemtrails _Cult Of The Sacred Cow_
"I Don't Want To Be An Emperor" Hugo Kant _I Don't Want To Be An Emperor_
"End Of An Empire" The Henry Clay People _Somewhere On The Golden Coast_

interview with the Emperor of the Black Empire

"Fake Empire" The National _Boxer_
"Roaming Empire" Maritime _Magnetic Bodies/Maps Of Bones_
"Vamps" Prism Tats _Mamba_
"Lucretia My Reflection" The Sisters Of Mercy _Floodland_

"Nobody's Empire" Belle & Sebastian _Girls In Peacetime Want To Dance_

Whither Empires?

(Image from here.)

Not gonna lie, this one was a little tough to put together.  I don't know why I rushed it, honestly.  Usually I make sure that I can fill a couple of hours with songs & then some.  This one, well.  Several things converged to make it problematic.

1) Turns out lots of songs that might have the word "empire" in their titles & lyrics don't really talk about empires, actual or metaphorical.  That was annoying.

2) It seemed fair game to then focus on specific empires, which is cool (there are lots of songs about the British Empire, or referring to it anyway), but when I thought about the Roman Empire, I was reminded I once did a show with the theme "Caesar" which used up a few songs I could've otherwise played.

3) Many of the best songs were a bit looooong which might seem like a good thing - takes up more time - but actually I'd like the show to be more diverse.

4) Therefore I had to spend a little more time looking for & listening to songs.

But I think there'll be enough empire to make you glad you live in something that looks & smells like a republic.

The show is on tonight from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at WLXU online everywhere.  Hope the emperor inside of you listens & has some of its desires quenched.

Preface To Empires: Fall Down Again

Tonight I fell down again.  Let me explain.

About a year & a half ago, I fell down & broke my arm.  I may have talked about it on this blog.  I am too lazy to go look & see.  It was no big deal, people break bones all the time, it could have been worse.

Tonight, I returned from the store - where I had to walk through puddles in the parking lot because it's been fucking raining all day - & I slipped on the door frame of the door which leads from the garage to the house, & I landed on my knee.  It was startling, but I managed to keep the few groceries (some pouches of cat food & two potatoes) in my hands.  It didn't hurt much.

Later, I had a big bump on the left side of my left knee.  It was amazing!

Like a bump in a cartoon, it just rose up & didn't hurt & I didn't even notice it till I sat down.

So yeah I put ice on it, it stopped swelling, it also hurt more once I noticed it, which is the way the world works.  But it doesn't hurt now.  It's kind of a novelty.

People in Texas don't know what to do when weather other than "sunny & hot" happens.  I mock them all the time.  Now I'm one of them.  What, when you walk on wetness your shoes get slippery & wet?  I don't believe you!

One thing is I wish I had taken a picture when it was big & swollen.  My wife was grossed out by it, but I was fascinated that your skin can do such a thing.  But I didn't.  I didn't think about it.  I missed out.

Supporting The Arts

One of my fave Tumblr blog cartoonists, the guy who does Extra Fabulous Comics (subtitled "Comics Killed My Family") made a series of comics (one of which is above) entitled "How To Be Creative When You Aren’t Feeling Creative."  They're super good & funny & have the cartoonist's trademark wit.  So if you're not feeling creative, or you want a laugh, go read them!  You'll be glad you did.

Polaroid

Been so busy, maybe instead of looking here, you can look at this Tumblr blog which collects polaroids of members of Public Image Ltd (like John Lydon above).

Or go look at the Self Help Radio Tumblr page to see artless photographs (alas, not Polaroids) I have taken.

Seriously, I am still working on the dumb show.