Saturday, October 01, 2011

Preface To Come Home: Self Help Radio Come Home!

"Self Help Radio, Come Home!" was a popular so-called art-house movie made in Texas in 2004 as a sequel to the equally obscure but no less popular film "Self Help Radio."

In the film, which is based on the novella of the same name, the poor but proud Dickenbock family come upon hard times & are forced to sell their radio show, called "Self Help Radio," to the evil Duke Of Clearchannel. However, the plucky young radio show is unwilling to be apart from its owner, young Dickie Dickenbock, & sets out on a long & dangerous journey from the Duke's home in far-away Los Angeles to its home in Austin.

Also included is the gripping courtroom scene where the evil but well-funded Duke Of Clearchannel sues the pants off Richard Dickenbock & his family for breach of contract. Many critics call the pantsless Dickenbock family the highlight of the movie.

Surprisingly, no one "Self Help Radio" series sequels have been filmed.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Fourteen

The laughs fail to continue!

Okay, one joke made me smile this week. It was this one:

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, & a breadstick in his right ear. He says, "What is wrong with me?" The psychiatrist replies, "You are not eating properly."

I'm sure it was old the first time Henny Youngman told it, though.

One "joke" puzzled me this week. It was this one:

Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn't get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. "Darling! He blurted out, "Will you marry me?"
"Of course, I will, you silly boy," she replied, "Who's speaking?"

Perhaps you understand why it's funny. I don't know if it's supposed to be absurd, or if we're supposed to laugh at the poor lovesick man's predicament, or if it's hilarious that the woman appears to be desperate & promiscuous. None of those things actually make it funny, but perhaps whoever approves the "jokes" for the A Joke A Day mailing list thought it looked like a joke, so he/she/it sent it along.

This "joke" was utterly ruined by an uncaught spelling mistake:

A teacher asked students to bring old staff, 1 kid came with his grandpa.

That's the risk when you text in a joke!

Monday, September 26, 2011

I Admit I Meant To Be Mean

I don't want to be mean, as I have a houseguest, but I do need to put this week's show, which is about mean people, on the web. I meant to do it earlier but at the time I didn't have the means. So I am being rude & doing it in the meantime.

The show is not at all mean, but may help you deal with mean people. That's not a promise. Nor a threat. It's just a thing. The show is at its normal place at self help radio dot net. The show is in two parts (contents of which are listed below) & the parts have been carefully named part one & part two.

(part one)

"Mean Old World" Sam Cooke _The Man Who Invented Soul_
"Mean World" The Mighty Mellow Tones _Heavy On Doo-Wop, Vol 10: Crystal Ball Records_
"Mean Man" Dreamtones _The Fargo Records Story_

"A Man Is A Mean Thing" Barbara Perry _Goldwax Northern Soul_
"Boys Can Be Mean" Sugar & The Spices _Girls With Guitars_
"Mean Woman Blues" Roy Orbison _The Definitive Collection_
"Mean Man" Betty Harris _Saturday Night Fish Fry: New Orleans Funk & Soul_
"Mean When I'm Mad" Eddie Cochran _The Eddie Cochran Box Set_
"Mean Old Devil" Bruce Haack _Rough Trade Shops - Electronic 01_

"Mean Mr. Mustard (take)" The Beatles _Anthology 3_
"Mean Time" Blue Aeroplanes _Weird Shit_
"You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" Thurl Ravenscroft _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_

(part two)

"Mean To Me" Billie Holiday _The Legacy Box 1933 - 1958_
"What Makes You Treat Me Mean" Speckled Red _Complete Recorded Works 1929-1938_

"Mean Talking Blues" Woody Guthrie _Hard Travelin': The Asch Recordings, Vol. 3_
"Jimmie's Mean Mama Blues" Jimmie Rodgers _The Singing Brakeman_
"A Boy Named Sue" Johnny Cash _At San Quentin_
"Mean Mama Boogie" Johnny Bond & His Red River Valley _Hillbilly Boogie_
"Treat Me Mean, Treat Me Cruel" Conway Twitty _The Rock & Roll Years_

"Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean (Nashville Version)" Ruth Brown _Night Train To Nashville: Music City Rhythm & Blues, 1945-1970_
"So Mean To Me" Little Milton _The Chess Story, 1947-1975: Vol. 9 - 1960-1961_
"Mean To Me" The Stranglers _Black & White_
"Don't Be So Mean" Madd, Inc. _Up From The Grave_
"Mean Ole Gal" Little Esther & Johnny Otis _Even More Mellow Cats 'n' Kittens: Hot R&B & Cool Blues 1945-1951_
"Mean Woman Blues" Buddy Raye _I'm Just The Other Woman: MSR Madness # 4_

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Whither Meanie?

"Mean People Suck" says a popular (once popular?) bumper sticker. It was also a movie with James Franco in it. In this article written for a life coaching website (for reals), it concludes "mean people don’t suck... their attitude does. Don’t take it personally!" You can oftentimes find quizzes online with questions (& choices like):

Who's etched in your memory as being the meanest person you've ever had to deal with?

An Ex!
Someone I thought was a Friend!
Bill Collectors!
A Teacher!
My Parent/s!
A Stranger!
Someone not listed here!
A Boss or Supervisor!

(Bosses & supervisors, take note - you're less than "someone not listed here.")

You can buy tee shirts with the slogan on it.

Just like "chicks dig jerks," "mean people suck" appears to be a cliche Americans (maybe others) enjoy. But do mean people deserve to be celebrated on a radio show?

That's for you to decide. Listen to Self Help Radio tomorrow (that's Monday) morning at 7:30 am on the 88.1 frequency on Lexington radio or online at the frequency if you're pretending your computer is a radio. If you're being mean about it & just won't listen, the show will be archived on the Self Help Radio website later in the day.

Mean people will probably come off pretty badly, but then, they always do. & yet they usually get everything they want.