Olympic Scandal!

It's true! There's shame & scandal involving the Olympics! But not the shame & scandal you'd expect! No - NBC, which is showing the Olympics on the teevee over the next three hundred days, is pre-empting the best thing on television this summer: new episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent!

Look, I am as sad as you are of the fucked-up Chinese government & how they treat their people, & I wish & hope that somehow the word could get out & life could get better for the Chinese. But you know what? NBC doesn't care. Most certainly our government doesn't care. & what's worse, we owe the Chinese government a shitload of cash money. NBC is doubtless under strict orders not to get too "moral" or soon they'll be renamed the Nanking Broadcasting Company. I am sad & I wish & I hope but you know nothing is going to change because of the goddamned Olympics. The only thing sports changes is sweat into dollars - mostly for people who don't have to break a sweat.

With that all said, why can't I see new episodes of Law & Order: Criminal Intent instead? Mike Logan is leaving again! Eames is still mad at Goren! I still have a difficult-to-explain-to-my-girlfriend crush on Wheeler! Why celebrate & obfuscate the oppressive Chinese regime when more important things are happening in my imaginary emotional slash crime fighting life!

Look, I know they're shown on USA. I make sure I record them from USA. But my bullshit cable company doesn't have USA in high def. So the only chance I'm going to get to gaze longingly at Vincent D'Onofrio - er, I mean, Julianne Nicholson - in crisp, scarier than life video, is when it's shown on the bullshit local NBC affiliate. You get me? I've been taping one episode, then waiting eight days to see it in high def. & now the motherfucking Olympics has fucked that up for me.

I protest. I protest vehemently. Also, I won't be watching the Olympics grand opening sale-a-bration tonight, no. I'll be working on tomorrow's Self Help Radio, which is all about blossoms & blooms, something they know nothing about in China, & it'll be available tomorrow afternoon exclusively at selfhelpradio.net. But it'll be sad. For there will be no high def Law & Order: Criminal Intent for it to look forward to when it is done.

Weep for me! Weep for China! Weep for this world of fucked priorities! But mostly, weep for me. Seriously.