Two Four Zero Zero

Holy stockyards, this is the two thousand four hundredth post on this site.  Who knew I had so many uninteresting words in me?  I should be giving advice on Pinterest!

As a public service, here are samples of things you'd find if you were desperate enough for reading material that you looked into past entries on this blog (chosen at random thanks to Random Dot Org).

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March 2, 2010:

I'll be here if you need zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

June 17, 2015:

This is something else I am sort of annoyed by: the stock question that cashiers ask when you get to check-out: "Did you find everything okay?"  I want to say, "Whether I did or not, this is exactly the wrong place to ask me.  If I didn't, we would hold up the line for everyone else because I wasn't smart enough to find any number of the clearly-marked employees around the store to ask for help.  In fact, you should probably say, 'If you haven't found everything you came for at this point, you're a moron & you don't deserve my help.'"

March 9, 2007:

Today's show will be some sounds from bands that are coming to Austin next week for a little-known musical festival called "Over By Over-Rated." If you happen to be coming to town, please come visit KOOP. If you happen to be coming to town & you're going to visit KOOP, & it's a Friday afternoon, come visit me. I'll put you on the air & we'll cry about our lost youth.

January 2, 2008:

I am reminded of the great parable of
the footstools in one forgotten religion
(or another) which you may remember
from your religious youth

December 22, 2011:

I promise I won't scream into the microphone like I've been doing lately.

September 10, 2012:

Anyway, I didn't find any songs about expectorating, so it's fine.

May 12, 2010:

So how do you successfully rescue a cat in this day & age? Pay attention to the flyers! Pay attention to strays! Be more like my wife, not like me - don't just say hello to neighborhood cats, but look them in the eye & say, "Didn't I see your picture on a telephone pole?"

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So much godawful prose!  & it's all here, for the intrepid explorer!  Did I say intrepid?  I meant...  Oh, never mind.

Here's to 2400 more oh please god no!