Apartment Idioms

(A groovy apartment complex facade somewhere in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.)

One of the things I love to do on the show is talk about idioms.  I adore idioms.  I also say, because it's true, that they are the hardest thing to figure out when learning a language, but one of the most fun things about knowing a language.

But it turned out there weren't any idioms with the word apartment.  So I made some up.  I hope these will find their way into your conversations soon, & eventually on the Urban Dictionary.

1) one's apartment isn't complex
If you tell someone that their apartment isn't complex, it means they're not too bright.

You listen to Gary's show on KBOO?  But his apartment isn't complex!

2) basement apartment

A basement apartment is a stroke of bad luck. 

Your dog is sick?  Man, that's a basement apartment right there!

3) garage apartment
Relatedly, a garage apartment is an unpredictable or unsatisfying outcome.

The vet couldn't figure out what was wrong with your dog?  Sorry, man, for the garage apartment!

4) penthouse apartment

A penthouse apartment is good fortune - although it carries connotations of snobbery. 

Oh yes, she won the lottery, how very penthouse apartment of her.

5) one's apartment is a flat

If you tell someone their apartment is a flat, you're accusing them of being pompous & pretentious.
Oh look at Gary quoting Shakespeare! I guess his apartment is a flat.

6) apartment idioms for sex

Much like using bases from baseball to designate sexual conquest, apartments can serve a similar role.  Let's compare them with the baseball ones.

First base is kissing or making out. You can also call it renting an efficiency.
Second base is copping a feel.  You may also use the term renting a furnished efficiency.
Third base is that weird phenomenon a friend of mine used to call "clothes sex."  You can also call it a renting a furnished studio apartment.

& of course hitting a home run or a homer is good ol' sex.  Using apartment idioms, you'd say you  were leasing a rent-controlled fully furnished three bedroom two full baths.

Again, none of these are real idioms in use anywhere.  But that doesn't mean it always has to be that way.