A pessimist is: a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy (1).
A cynic is: a person whose outlook is scornfully & habitually negative (2).
A cynic is: a person whose outlook is scornfully & habitually negative (2).
A defeatist is: someone who is resigned to defeat without offering positive suggestions (3).
Is that me? Would I describe myself by any of those terms?
In the last twenty years of her life, from around age 70 to age 90, my mother received a call from me about once a week. She had great ambivalence in her. She felt life had not treated her fairly. But she recognized that she had had mostly good health, had a large family that loved her, & despite everything had lived a mostly good life.
When asked about her religious beliefs, she spoke a lot about "God" but never really about Jesus or about Christianity. One conversation I had with her - a random Sunday in which she related to me all her recent goings-on & lots of gossip about my siblings - we got to talking about religion. She knew I didn't believe in anything supernatural, & it bothered her, & somehow she felt a desire to tell me why I was wrong.
Is that me? Would I describe myself by any of those terms?
In the last twenty years of her life, from around age 70 to age 90, my mother received a call from me about once a week. She had great ambivalence in her. She felt life had not treated her fairly. But she recognized that she had had mostly good health, had a large family that loved her, & despite everything had lived a mostly good life.
When asked about her religious beliefs, she spoke a lot about "God" but never really about Jesus or about Christianity. One conversation I had with her - a random Sunday in which she related to me all her recent goings-on & lots of gossip about my siblings - we got to talking about religion. She knew I didn't believe in anything supernatural, & it bothered her, & somehow she felt a desire to tell me why I was wrong.
"I know God is there protecting me," she said, "because otherwise how could I have made it this far in my life without him looking out for me?"
She didn't like it when I said that she was perhaps downplaying her own strength & fortitude, & the conversation shifted like conversations do.
We got onto a topic which involved some terrible news for her - I'm not sure if it was about her health or her finances or some squabble she was having with someone. Needless to say, it caused her a great deal of worry. She said, just minutes after she said the statement above, "I'm not sure what I've done wrong to make God punish me in this way."
When I think about the sort of person I am - not discounting my own experiences, especially the fact that I spent a great deal of time alone as a child - I think of this conversation, & it makes me think, "I have 50% of her genes in me."
& that's how I answer those questions above.
She didn't like it when I said that she was perhaps downplaying her own strength & fortitude, & the conversation shifted like conversations do.
We got onto a topic which involved some terrible news for her - I'm not sure if it was about her health or her finances or some squabble she was having with someone. Needless to say, it caused her a great deal of worry. She said, just minutes after she said the statement above, "I'm not sure what I've done wrong to make God punish me in this way."
When I think about the sort of person I am - not discounting my own experiences, especially the fact that I spent a great deal of time alone as a child - I think of this conversation, & it makes me think, "I have 50% of her genes in me."
& that's how I answer those questions above.
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