Preface To Unknown: I Was Remembering Really Sad Stuff

Tonight I was remembering really sad stuff.  For example.  My father died in 1991.  He wasn't around a lot when I was a kid, he was an alcoholic.  I didn't really know him, although I did occasionally see him, especially after he got sober in 1982.  One sad thing I was remembering is that I don't really remember what his voice sounded like.  My mother's voice I can recreate without any effort - I think I hear her voice several times a day - but my father's voice - I think I can approximate it, but I don't think I remember what it sounds like.

Really sad stuff can derail me.  & I find it often in the most circumlocuitous way.  A pleasant memory will occur to me.  I will try to contextualize it.  & then something really, really sad will elbow its way into the picture.  & soon enough, that's it - that's all I've got.  The really sad stuff.

Maybe this has nothing to do with "unknown."  But I think what I don't know - especially what I think I should know - like what my father's voice sounded like - can cause despair in me.

One nice thing about Facebook - something people older than I am never had - is that you can keep up with people from your past with whom you don't really want to stay friends (or in my case vice versa).  But of course many people choose not to use Facebook, & there are many people I used to know whose fates I am completely unaware of.  What happened to them is unknown to me.  At least one of them has a very common name - it's not John Smith, but it's close - so even if I could do a little cyberstalking, I couldn't really ever find them.

Is that all I have to say about the unknown?  I guess I'm not really all that deep.  But.  I think everyone knew that.