Is when I tend to find funny stuff about that theme. Like this image:
It was apparently shared on Facebook four years ago. Interestingly, I found it on the cover of a book on Amazon that came out in 2017. So I don't know where it originated. I probably just found it on a Tumblr blog many moons ago.
How nice would it have been if I had found it this time last week though?
Random thoughts & other unrelated information from the dude who does "Self Help Radio" - a radio show which originated in Austin, Texas & now makes noise in Portland, Oregon. Listen to new & old shows & look at playlists at selfhelpradio.net.
Monday, November 12, 2018
Saturday, November 10, 2018
Self Help Radio 111018: Moments
(Original image - entitled "Those Fleeting Moments" - from here.)
Finally! At long last! Much-anticipated! Much-missed! Much-what? You didn't notice the show hadn't happened yesterday? Oh. Well, it's happening today. In case you cared. You don't? That's obvious. I'm just going to go ahead &... Ah, you're gone.
Here is the show that should have dropped (as the kids say) yesterday at noon but I hadn't even picked it up by then (as the kids don't say). Isn't it ironic that a show about moments missed its moment & that there were moments when I didn't even know I'd get it done? You'd think it might be a momentous undertaking, & maybe it felt that way, but only momentarily. As it is, it's more of the same old thing. Just a bunch of moments collected in a radio show type frame.
The show is now available for you to pay attention to you for a moment or two at Self Help Radio dot net. Pay attention to password/username information. The songs I play & the weirdoes I talk to are noted below.
Celebrate the moments of your life, or something.
Self Help Radio Moments Show
"The Moment" Indurain _What You Get For Being Naive_
"Another Moment Follows" Cloudberry Jam _Providing The Atmosphere_
"Moments Are Moments" The Saint Valentine State _Between Two Waves: The Second Wave_
introductions/definitions
"This Moment" Lewis Black _Anticipation_
"Love The Moment" The Bartlebees _From Path Of Pain To Jewels Of Glory_
"The Moment" Boyracer _Happenstance_
"The Unguarded Moment" The Church _Of Skins & Heart_
"A Thrill A Moment" Kim Weston _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 5: 1965_
interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently
"Moments In Love" The Art Of Noise _Moments In Love_
"Assertive Moments" Ronderlin _The Great Investigation_
"Moment Of Silence" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"In A Moment Of Madness" The Flower Pot Men _Let's Go To San Francisco_
"Left Of The Moment" The Blood Group _Everything Forgotten Gathers At The Ceiling_
interview with Jeffrey & Beyond
"At Any Moment" Wax Idols _American Tragic_
"After The Moment" Craft Spells _Idle Labor_
"Most Metal Moment" Adam Newman _Not For Horses_
"Magic Moments" Table Table _Messthetics # 104 (D.I.Y. '77-81 South Wales I)_
"Momentz (feat. De La Soul)" Gorillaz _Humanz_
idioms!
"A Few Precious Moments" George Jackson _Leavin' Your Homework Undone: In The Studio With George Jackson 1968-1971_
"My Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left Me)" The Spinners _2nd Time Around_
"Stolen Moments" Mary Jane Hooper & Richie Matta _Eddie Bo's Funky Funky New Orleans_
"A Fearful Moment" Mekons & Robbie Fulks _Jura_
"It Only Takes A Moment" Jeffrey Lewis & Los Bolts _Manhattan_
conclusion & goodbye
"Hybrid Moments" PINS _Too Little Too Late_
"It Takes A Moment" Deep Sea Diver _Secrets_
"Live In The Moment" Teenage Fanclub _Here_
"Fleeting Moments" Pocketbooks _Rough Trade Shops: Indiepop 09_
"The Moment's Gone" The Arrogants _Nobody's Cool
Friday, November 09, 2018
Whither Moments?
(Image from here.)
Some thoughts about this week's (late) episode of Self Help Radio:
1) My apologies, I can't believe I needed an extra day to put it together.
2) Really, I hope I get it done tomorrow!
3) Maybe its moment has passed.
4) It's going to be one of those shows where there are just so many songs that fit the theme that I couldn't play all of them in such a short time & you're gonna be like why didn't he play that song it would've been perfect.
5) It's really why I tend to prefer more restrictive themes.
6) But someone asked me to do this theme.
7) At least it seemed like they were asking me.
8) & I didn't ask their permission to mention their name.
9) So now I'm talking about them like they're plural.
10) Which in a different context but not at this moment might be insulting.
11) So this obviously shabby show will be for them.
12) Tomorrow - Saturday - at noon.
13) At Self Help Radio dot net.
14) For many moments to come.
Thursday, November 08, 2018
Give Me A Moment!
Argh, this week has utterly crushed me.
As I've explained/complained about before, the combination of working on the show for the KNON Pledge Drive + the obsession with the election + spending the day with my wife & her doctors has given me, well, today to work on this week's Self Help Radio. A show, by the way, about moments.
There's no way, not even working twenty-four straight hours, that I could have the show done by noon tomorrow. Maybe if I could do it live, but I don't do that that way these days, & even then, gosh would it be shabby as fuck.
Not that it won't be shabby as fuck anyway, but I can guarantee a slightly less shabby show if I take a moment to work on it rather than rushing to get it done.
Here's hoping you understand. This week's Self Help Radio will happen Saturday at noon instead of Friday at noon. You might say it was waiting to pick its moment. But really, I was overwhelmed when I'm normally just plain whelmed. I thank you for your understanding.
As I've explained/complained about before, the combination of working on the show for the KNON Pledge Drive + the obsession with the election + spending the day with my wife & her doctors has given me, well, today to work on this week's Self Help Radio. A show, by the way, about moments.
There's no way, not even working twenty-four straight hours, that I could have the show done by noon tomorrow. Maybe if I could do it live, but I don't do that that way these days, & even then, gosh would it be shabby as fuck.
Not that it won't be shabby as fuck anyway, but I can guarantee a slightly less shabby show if I take a moment to work on it rather than rushing to get it done.
Here's hoping you understand. This week's Self Help Radio will happen Saturday at noon instead of Friday at noon. You might say it was waiting to pick its moment. But really, I was overwhelmed when I'm normally just plain whelmed. I thank you for your understanding.
Wednesday, November 07, 2018
Preface To Moments: It Should've Been More Of A Moment
But I'm glad it's over.
The wife took muscle relaxants (she's recovering from surgery) & passed out on the sofa. I drank beer with whiskey chasers & paced nervously about the room. I texted with a couple of people but mainly just freaked out a little before ultimately deciding I was happy with the House change & stumbling into bed.
It wasn't a great week - my first Fall Pledge Drive show was a bust - although I did have nice people in the studio with me, that was good. But not much money was raised. I made a coffee cake for my helpers, & stuck around while KNON staff wandered in, & they ate some too. In this way I distract from my appalling on-air performance.
& now, oh shit! I have a Self Help Radio to put together! Let's see how that turns out. These moments of my life, are they just weird, separate parts or do they make some kind of whole? I wonder.
The wife took muscle relaxants (she's recovering from surgery) & passed out on the sofa. I drank beer with whiskey chasers & paced nervously about the room. I texted with a couple of people but mainly just freaked out a little before ultimately deciding I was happy with the House change & stumbling into bed.
It wasn't a great week - my first Fall Pledge Drive show was a bust - although I did have nice people in the studio with me, that was good. But not much money was raised. I made a coffee cake for my helpers, & stuck around while KNON staff wandered in, & they ate some too. In this way I distract from my appalling on-air performance.
& now, oh shit! I have a Self Help Radio to put together! Let's see how that turns out. These moments of my life, are they just weird, separate parts or do they make some kind of whole? I wonder.
Tuesday, November 06, 2018
Another Stressful Night
Like you, I know a bunch of people who don't vote. They'll often quote George Carlin. Or Morrissey, who sings this in "World Peace Is None Of Your Business": "Each time you vote you support the process." I understand that way of thinking. & yet...
It baffles me, ultimately. The system is corrupt, & the "winner-take-all" attitude is maddening. If I were a politician - & this is why I'm not - I would attempt to find out what my constituents wanted, & vote that way. You may think this naïve, or dishonest, but when I've worked at stations to craft policy, my proposals were often voted down, & I labored ahead anyway. But that's not how politics works in this country, & even if it were more like that at some point, it's gotten worse.
When I was twenty, I was able to vote for President for the first time. I guess that means I've voted in eight presidential elections. (For the record, my candidate has won just three of those times. I didn't vote for Clinton in 1996, but I didn't vote for anyone for President that year.) (Well, I should say, my candidate won five of those times - but the popular vote, not the electoral college.)
This morning, on the Tuesday Morning Blend, I begged for money for the station, but I also begged for people to vote. Here's the thing: if you find it difficult to vote, then vote for people who will make it easier. As long as one party believes that, even if they win by one vote, they can enact whatever agenda they want, there's going to be troubles voting. Because that one party doesn't want people who don't agree with them to vote.
It wasn't a good show & there was way too much ineffectual begging for money, but you can listen to it here if you're at all bored. I will be drinking whiskey & hoping against hope that America surprises me tonight. I have lived too long to think the good guys will finally win.
Or at least who I think the good guys are. The people passionately defending candidates I find reprehensible find me passionately defending my candidates reprehensible. One of my wife's students became more politically aware this year & discovered to his shock & horror that his mother was conservative. So it goes.
Sigh.
It baffles me, ultimately. The system is corrupt, & the "winner-take-all" attitude is maddening. If I were a politician - & this is why I'm not - I would attempt to find out what my constituents wanted, & vote that way. You may think this naïve, or dishonest, but when I've worked at stations to craft policy, my proposals were often voted down, & I labored ahead anyway. But that's not how politics works in this country, & even if it were more like that at some point, it's gotten worse.
When I was twenty, I was able to vote for President for the first time. I guess that means I've voted in eight presidential elections. (For the record, my candidate has won just three of those times. I didn't vote for Clinton in 1996, but I didn't vote for anyone for President that year.) (Well, I should say, my candidate won five of those times - but the popular vote, not the electoral college.)
This morning, on the Tuesday Morning Blend, I begged for money for the station, but I also begged for people to vote. Here's the thing: if you find it difficult to vote, then vote for people who will make it easier. As long as one party believes that, even if they win by one vote, they can enact whatever agenda they want, there's going to be troubles voting. Because that one party doesn't want people who don't agree with them to vote.
It wasn't a good show & there was way too much ineffectual begging for money, but you can listen to it here if you're at all bored. I will be drinking whiskey & hoping against hope that America surprises me tonight. I have lived too long to think the good guys will finally win.
Or at least who I think the good guys are. The people passionately defending candidates I find reprehensible find me passionately defending my candidates reprehensible. One of my wife's students became more politically aware this year & discovered to his shock & horror that his mother was conservative. So it goes.
Sigh.
Monday, November 05, 2018
Does Nothing Stop?
Yikes! The KNON Pledge Drive is happening as we speak! As well, tomorrow is Election Day! So I'll have to beg for money on the air while I am begging for folks to vote!
In honor of the day, the Tuesday Morning Blend will be a bit Self Help Radio-like & the entire show will be about elections & voting. I hope you can listen. Where can you listen? When can you listen?
At 89.3 fm in Dallas & Fort Worth. Online everywhere at knon.org.
But I'd rather you voted. Especially if the last two years have scared the shit out of you.
In honor of the day, the Tuesday Morning Blend will be a bit Self Help Radio-like & the entire show will be about elections & voting. I hope you can listen. Where can you listen? When can you listen?
At 89.3 fm in Dallas & Fort Worth. Online everywhere at knon.org.
But I'd rather you voted. Especially if the last two years have scared the shit out of you.
Friday, November 02, 2018
Self Help Radio 110218: Well I Never
(Original image over here.)
What is it, I wonder, that I never do? Is it that I never lie? Or I never loved you? That I never worry, or that I never knew? Could it be that I never want anything, or have I never wanted anything more? With a word like "never" in play, it's a wonder this show isn't filled with Cure songs!
It is what it is. It's the nature of a show like this that the exploration of a theme may seem, at the outset, to lend itself to greater interest & insight. & sometimes not. Which was this show? I know how I feel, tell me how you feel after you're listened, won't you?
The show is now at the Self Help Radio website. You'll need a username & password to listen, as you probably know by now. Well, I never told you this directly: the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp. The songs I played & the silliness in-between are both listed below.
I never get tired of doing these ridiculous shows, you know. I think I may have a problem.
Self Help Radio Well I Never Show
"I Never Happened" Comet Gain _I Never Happened 7"_
"I Never Wanted Any Of This" Best Wishes _Bella Vista + Best Wishes 7"_
"I Never Loved Anyone" Voyagers _Teen Town U.S.A., Vol. 6_
introduction & complications
"I Never Would" Seapony _Go With Me_
"I Never Tell Me Twice" Kangaroo _Kangaroo_
"I Never Knew" Roy Orbison _The Sun Years_
"I Never See Maggie Alone" Hot Lips Page _1946-1950_
"I Never Want To See You Again" Quasi _Featuring "Birds"_
interview with FBI Special Agent Charles McGruff
"I Never Found Out" Adam Green & Binki Shapiro _Adam Green & Binki Shapiro_
"I Never Get Much Sleep On Weekdays" Mikrofisch _Masters Of The Universe_
"I Never Will Marry" The Smothers Brothers _Think Ethnic_
"I Never Worry" Bob Troy _I Never Worry_
"I Never Knew" Eddie Foster _The Wigan Casino Story_
interview with birds
"I Never Said I Was Deep" Jarvis Cocker _Further Complications_
"I Never Loved You" Strawberry Story _The Man With The Stereo Hands_
"I Never Liked The Look Of You" Airport Girl _Seven Summers (International Pop Vol. 2)_
"I Never Wanted Love" Shannon & The Clams _Onion_
"I Never Needed It Now So Much" The Go! Team _Proof Of Youth_
Ned Dry interrupts
"I Never Imagined" Mighty Mighty _One Way EP_
"I Never Said That" The Brilliant Corners _What's In A Word_
"I Never Loved Your Mind" Jumprope _Holiday In Brazil_
"I Never Lied To You" Syd Barrett _Barrett_
"I Never Wanted To Be A Star" Cat Stevens _Izitso_
the unexpected fifth airbreak of the show
"I Never Loved Her" The Starfires _Pebbles, Vol. 8: Southern California 1_
"I Never Thought I'd Find" Manikins _Inner City Sound_
"I Never Thought It Would Happen" The Rubinoos _The Rubinoos_
"I Never Want An Easy Life If Me & He Were Ever To Get There" The Charlatans _Up To Our Hips_
"I Never Knew" The Fastbacks _The Question Is No_
conclusions & goodbyes
"I Never Picked Cotton" Johnny Cash _American Recordings: Unchained_
"I'm Glad I Never" Lee Hazlewood _Requiem For An Almost Lady_
"I Never Raised My Voice To You" Harvest Ministers _Orbit_
"Song I Never Sung" Tom Selleck's Moustache _Heartbreak 101
Thursday, November 01, 2018
Whither Well I Never?
(Image from here.)
At long last! Could it be? Finally? The Self Help Radio episode on indignation?!?
As the Google dictionary tells us:
Surely this must mean...!
No, sorry. Sorry, no. It's just another one of those phrase shows. Every song will feature someone saying something in the form of "I Never." I never lied. I never wanted. I never verb or I never verbed. That's all. I know it's not fun for anyone but me, but I simply can't help myself. How many songs can I find like this? How will they fit together? That's what I enjoy doing.
It's cool though - you don't have to listen tomorrow at noon at Self Help Radio dot net. I won't be outraged that you don't. & in a couple of weeks I'm doing another animal show, maybe you like that better.
But I totally agree - a show about indignation would be awesome.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Preface To Well I Never: Happy Halloween!
Now, I'm not going to point you to all the Halloween shows I've done but I did want to take the time to find answers to questions about Halloween that I've had which I only think about on Halloween but am too busy eating candy to remember to look up after Halloween. Here they are:
Why do fundamentalist Christians hate Halloween? Maybe the answer is pretty obvious, but it's nice to have it laid out. Here is a web page explaining their objections from their point of view.
Are you old enough to recall when there was a scare about people putting razor blades in Halloween candy? Did those things really happen? Apparently they did not.
How about all that Satan worship stuff everyone lost their shit about in the 80s & 90s. That's all over now, right? Um, no. No it's really not.
This is a weird one I just discovered on Snopes: A blue bucket is said to indicate the child has autism? This is a weird world.
We didn't buy much candy-type stuff today - actually, we bought organic fruit roll-ups types that the wife likes in case we don't give many away - but I did notice that there's something called a Treat Map on Next Door Dot Com which lets parents know who has candy. I think that's neat. But I
still don't think we'll get many trick or treaters.
Why do fundamentalist Christians hate Halloween? Maybe the answer is pretty obvious, but it's nice to have it laid out. Here is a web page explaining their objections from their point of view.
Are you old enough to recall when there was a scare about people putting razor blades in Halloween candy? Did those things really happen? Apparently they did not.
How about all that Satan worship stuff everyone lost their shit about in the 80s & 90s. That's all over now, right? Um, no. No it's really not.
This is a weird one I just discovered on Snopes: A blue bucket is said to indicate the child has autism? This is a weird world.
We didn't buy much candy-type stuff today - actually, we bought organic fruit roll-ups types that the wife likes in case we don't give many away - but I did notice that there's something called a Treat Map on Next Door Dot Com which lets parents know who has candy. I think that's neat. But I
still don't think we'll get many trick or treaters.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Sick Of Halloween Shows? Here's Another One!
Sorry to keep bugging you with Halloween shows, but I did another one, this time for my show on KNON, & if you want to listen, you can here, on Radio Free America.
That's all. No more Halloween. Till next year.
Whatever shall I do a show about then?
That's all. No more Halloween. Till next year.
Whatever shall I do a show about then?
Monday, October 29, 2018
Halloween Shows
As promised, I have collected all the Halloween shows I've digitized (from 2005 on) on one page, & made it slightly more presentable than the half-assed page I made last year. The link is here:
The Self Help Radio Halloween Collection
There are only two episodes I haven't collected here, & they're my earliest two shows, which may not be available anymore. (I haven't looked.) One was a general Halloween show, the other was about ghosts. I may recreate that one at some point. Who knows?
As always, I can't speak for the quality of any of these shows. I was quite fond of the voodoo show this year, but I don't really revisit my shows, so I have no idea if they're entertaining at all.
They are, however, very helpful for doing general format Halloween shows, which I will be doing tomorrow for the Tuesday Morning Blend, that's in the morning from 7-9am.
Friday, October 26, 2018
Self Help Radio 102618: Halloween 2018 - Voodoo!
(Original image here.)
Voodoo! What is it? I dunno! But it makes me think of scary things! Like witch doctors & voodoo dolls & bubbling cauldrons & potions & tinctures! Voodoo! Should I have given that stranger a lock of my hair? I'll admit I was kinda flattered! But now it feels like I have a piercing ulcer & I get strange pains up & down my back! Voodoo! Oh shit is this show culturally insensitive? But it's Halloween! Good thing almost no one knows it exists!
Two hours worth of voodoo songs + a couple of interviews with insane people + a song written by Jenny Adkins specifically for the show. It sounds like something you might want to play at your Halloween party - especially if you want the guest to get a move on. It's this year's Self Help Radio Halloween show & I had a blast putting it together. It's as fun as it is scary as it is ridiculous as it is fun.
What happens on the show is noted below. The show is at the Self Help Radio website. There's a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) you'll need to listen.
Does anyone know how long a voodoo doll's power lasts? Asking for a friend.
Self Help Radio Halloween Voodoo Show
"You've Got Me Voodoo'd" Louis Armstrong _The Complete Louis Armstrong Decca Sessions (1935-1946)_
"Voodoo Woman Blues" Jimmy Witherspoon & Jay McShann _The R&B Years 1946: Volume 2_
"Voodoo Blues" Jumpin' Joe Williams with Red Saunders & His Orchestra _The OKeh Rhythm & Blues Story 1949-1957_
introduction & explanation
"Voodoo Pappadollar" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_
"Voodoo Doll" The Interiors _Voodoo Doll_
"Supernatural Voodoo Woman (Part 1)" The Originals _Game Called Love_
"Oh You Voo Doo Doo Doll" Sheldon Allman _Sing Along With Drac_
"Voo Doo Woman" Smiley Smith _Horror Hop_
"Voodoo Woman" Simon Stokes & The Nightwalks _Beat It! Killer Tracks From The Roarin' 60s_
interview with voodoo opponent Father Jude O'Doole
"Voodoo Doll" Amelia _All Them Chicks At The Hop! Vol. 1_
"Voodoo" The Revillos _Rev Up_
"Voodoo Idol" The Cramps _Psychedelic Jungle_
"The Curse Of The Voodoo Doll" Joan Gerber _The Story Lady_
"Voodoo Lady" Ween _Chocolate & Cheese_
"Psychic Voodoo Doll" Deadbolt _Halloween Hootenanny_
perhaps a secret of voodoo is revealed - or is interrupted
"Mr. Voodoo" Jenny Adkins _Mr. Voodoo_
"You Do Something To Me" Johnny Mathis _Rhythms Of Broadway_
"Voodoo Plan" The Headliners _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 5: 1965_
"Voodoo Woman" Koko Taylor _I Got What It Takes_
"This Is Not Voodoo" Brother Russell _Radio Jihad_
"Gris Gris Gumbo Ya Ya" Dr. John _Saturday Night Fish Fry: New Orleans Funk & Soul_
interview with children's television hose Mr Spooks
"Voodoo Child (Slight Return)" Angelique Kidjo _Oremi_
"Voodoo Voodoo" LaVern Baker _Great Googa Mooga_
"Voodoo" Josie & The Pussycats _Stop, Look, & Listen: The Capitol Recordings_
"Voo Doo" Rachel Sweet _Blame It On Love_
"Voodoo Hurt" The Mar-Vels _Magic Doo Wops, Vol. 1: Halloween Songs_
"The Voo Doo Walk" Sonny Richard's Panics with Cindy & Misty _These Ghoulish Things: Horror Hits For Hallowe'en_
conclusion & goodbye
"The Voodoo Man" The Del Vikings _The Swinging, Singing Del Vikings_
"Voodoo" The Ivies _Voodoo_
"It's Your Voodoo Working" Charles Sheffield _ The Real Excello R&B_
"Voodoo Woman" Curtis Knight _Voodoo Rhythm & Blues & Burlesque Grind_
"Voodoo" The Combinations _Whip! Wobble & Grind! 1962-1964_
"Voodoo Woman" Bern Elliott & The Fenmen _The Beat Years_
"Voodoo Medicine Man" Jerry & Jeff _Le Beat Bespoké 4_
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Whither Voodoo?
(Image from here.)
Every year around Halloween-time, Self Help Radio stay out all night & scares itself silly in order to create the best Halloween experience in audio. Whether it's ghosts or vampires, zombies or werewolves, whether we're wandering around haunted houses or graveyards, whether we're contemplating death or mere nightmares, there are now few Halloween themes Self Help Radio hasn't explored. This year it's one we've been thinking about for a while: voodoo!
& not the voodoo that's a religious practice of many, but the stylized version of voodoo we scare ourselves with as we do with the likes of monsters & graveyards. These are perilous times, when deciding on a costume for Halloween must take into account possible offense. So too Self Help Radio issues this caveat: it's all for fun, it's all made-up & playful. So many people have sung about voodoo as a metaphor, the bulk of the songs this week will do that.
This week you'll hear what Self Help Radio's been keeping in its gris-gris tomorrow at noon over at the Self Help Radio website. Every enough to plan for Halloween next week, but not too early, like the Christmas music we're starting to hear even now. Frankly, that's more frightening.
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Preface To Halloween 2018 - Voodoo!: Religious Persecution
This article on the Huffington Post seeks to dispel myths, misunderstandings, & outright lies about voodoo. (Which apparently is supposed to be spelled 'vodou.') It starts off like this (if you don't want to click):
Voodoo isn’t accurately portrayed in most movies, TV shows, & books. Even some documentaries & non-fiction books are misleading. Voodoo isn’t a cult, black magic, or devil worship. People who practice Voodoo are not witchdoctors, sorcerers, or occultists. Voodoo isn’t a practice intended to hurt or control others. Most Voodooists have never seen a “Voodoo doll” (unless, like you, they saw it in a movie).
Voodoo isn’t morbid or violent. Voodoo isn’t the same everywhere. Not everyone who practices Voodoo does it in exactly the same way or agrees on exactly the same things.
& you know what? I'm cool with that. I'm not going to do a radio show this week that attempts to clear up misconceptions about voodoo. & you know why? Because it's Halloween!
Self Help Radio has done shows about monsters, vampires, werewolves, & mummies. Those things don't exist. We've done shows about haunted houses & hell. There's no such thing as ghosts & there's no such thing as hell. But that didn't stop the fun!
That's the thing that makes people fear Halloween: they believe in things like demons & ghosts & monsters. It's certainly the most childlike of holidays because when you're a child you not only fear such things but there's a part of you that really, really wants the world to be like that. The world of Stranger Things is pretty terrifying, but those kids are having the time of their lives.
Now, I doubt anyone who practices vodou (or even voodoo) will hear or find this show of mine, but I hope they'll take it in the spirit of Halloween. I want the shows to be more fun than scary. & of course I want them to be a little scary. That's part of the fun!
Voodoo isn’t accurately portrayed in most movies, TV shows, & books. Even some documentaries & non-fiction books are misleading. Voodoo isn’t a cult, black magic, or devil worship. People who practice Voodoo are not witchdoctors, sorcerers, or occultists. Voodoo isn’t a practice intended to hurt or control others. Most Voodooists have never seen a “Voodoo doll” (unless, like you, they saw it in a movie).
Voodoo isn’t morbid or violent. Voodoo isn’t the same everywhere. Not everyone who practices Voodoo does it in exactly the same way or agrees on exactly the same things.
& you know what? I'm cool with that. I'm not going to do a radio show this week that attempts to clear up misconceptions about voodoo. & you know why? Because it's Halloween!
Self Help Radio has done shows about monsters, vampires, werewolves, & mummies. Those things don't exist. We've done shows about haunted houses & hell. There's no such thing as ghosts & there's no such thing as hell. But that didn't stop the fun!
That's the thing that makes people fear Halloween: they believe in things like demons & ghosts & monsters. It's certainly the most childlike of holidays because when you're a child you not only fear such things but there's a part of you that really, really wants the world to be like that. The world of Stranger Things is pretty terrifying, but those kids are having the time of their lives.
Now, I doubt anyone who practices vodou (or even voodoo) will hear or find this show of mine, but I hope they'll take it in the spirit of Halloween. I want the shows to be more fun than scary. & of course I want them to be a little scary. That's part of the fun!
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Halloween's A-Coming
That's right, & I had almost forgotten I created a page last year which has links to all the Halloween episodes. I guess I need to add graphics, which I'll try to do after this week. But if you want to have some Halloween shows for your Halloween, here's the place for that.
Black Cats! Death! Graveyards! Haunted Houses! Hell! Monsters! Mummies! Nightmares! Vampires! Werewolves! Witches! Zombies! Clowns! (Clowns?) All kindsa scary stuff for your enjoyably frightening Halloween.
Here's that link again! I'll clean it up a bit as the week wears on.
Black Cats! Death! Graveyards! Haunted Houses! Hell! Monsters! Mummies! Nightmares! Vampires! Werewolves! Witches! Zombies! Clowns! (Clowns?) All kindsa scary stuff for your enjoyably frightening Halloween.
Here's that link again! I'll clean it up a bit as the week wears on.
Monday, October 22, 2018
Eyes & Ears
Feeling uninspired, feeling tired, needing to get to bed because I have a radio show in the morning, I will forego trying to say anything interesting & instead share with you a poem chosen at random (I used random dot org & everything) which I wrote on March 17, 2000, called "Eyes & Ears."
Enjoy.
hey it's cold, suddenly, hard to smoke in the rain, under an umbrella i
swear i'm in a club. i hate clubs, they depress me, i feel too old, even
in an old person's clubs, they have them, it's true, i saw richard thompson
in one just this week, walkers, hearing aids, wheelchairs, heart
medication, pillows. i promised i'd go see the frogs tonight, it's a
corporate blowjob music festival in austintown, i'd rather eat glass, i
won't go anyway, the frogs will return, if they don't, it's only right &
natural that i seek them out. think someone will cut my hair instead, see,
when i have hair, if it's not longish, it looks like i'm wearing a wig,
there's a scar on my forehead, it's how i monitor my receding hairline, me
& whisky & a razor, i'll have no hair in the morning. i always do this
when it's cold, cut my hair, shave my face, wear a jacket & a shirt, used
to be more or less healthy, now i smoke & drink too much, bet i breathe
heavy, bet i can't run up ten flights of stairs. wouldn't matter, one
supposes, if it weren't constantly being brought up, age i mean, it's
everywhere, youngsters with their loud dreams & crappy rock & roll, i met
some sixteen year old lesbians the other week, i'll end this on a funny
note, i met some sixteen year old lesbians, three of them, cute as hell &
wearing comfortable clothing, making me uncomfortable. i noticed their
age, it was at the video store, i had to set up a membership & i shouldn't
have because they were too young but i was drunk, we can drink up there,
it's one of the reasons i work there, i was drunk & so i set them up, & i
said wow sixteen are you all sixteen, & they said yeah, & i said, wow
that's half my age, & one of them said, earnestly, that's too bad, but the
cutest one said, bright-eyed, but it's good for us.
That's a story I didn't remember. Crazy.
The corporate blowjob music festival was of course SXSW. I did go see the Frogs after all.
Enjoy.
hey it's cold, suddenly, hard to smoke in the rain, under an umbrella i
swear i'm in a club. i hate clubs, they depress me, i feel too old, even
in an old person's clubs, they have them, it's true, i saw richard thompson
in one just this week, walkers, hearing aids, wheelchairs, heart
medication, pillows. i promised i'd go see the frogs tonight, it's a
corporate blowjob music festival in austintown, i'd rather eat glass, i
won't go anyway, the frogs will return, if they don't, it's only right &
natural that i seek them out. think someone will cut my hair instead, see,
when i have hair, if it's not longish, it looks like i'm wearing a wig,
there's a scar on my forehead, it's how i monitor my receding hairline, me
& whisky & a razor, i'll have no hair in the morning. i always do this
when it's cold, cut my hair, shave my face, wear a jacket & a shirt, used
to be more or less healthy, now i smoke & drink too much, bet i breathe
heavy, bet i can't run up ten flights of stairs. wouldn't matter, one
supposes, if it weren't constantly being brought up, age i mean, it's
everywhere, youngsters with their loud dreams & crappy rock & roll, i met
some sixteen year old lesbians the other week, i'll end this on a funny
note, i met some sixteen year old lesbians, three of them, cute as hell &
wearing comfortable clothing, making me uncomfortable. i noticed their
age, it was at the video store, i had to set up a membership & i shouldn't
have because they were too young but i was drunk, we can drink up there,
it's one of the reasons i work there, i was drunk & so i set them up, & i
said wow sixteen are you all sixteen, & they said yeah, & i said, wow
that's half my age, & one of them said, earnestly, that's too bad, but the
cutest one said, bright-eyed, but it's good for us.
That's a story I didn't remember. Crazy.
The corporate blowjob music festival was of course SXSW. I did go see the Frogs after all.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Self Help Radio 101918: Radiation
(Original image on Wikipedia.)
On the television show Star Trek, they treat radiation exposure with a drug called hyronalin, which was my go-to drug while I handled lots of radioactive isotopes in preparation for this show. Imagine my surprise to find out it's fictitious, & also I have lost some hair, some white blood cells, & I can't keep food down. These are the things I do for Self Help Radio - & for you.
Now the doctors are telling me I don't have much time, so if you'll come closer, I'll need to ask you if the ship is safe, & tell you that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, & that you have been & always will be my friend. No, wait, don't do that. Man, getting too much radiation makes you all goofy & shit.
Go now & listen to this week's show at the Self Help Radio website. There's a password & a username you'll need, that information is on the page, it's also right here: username SHR, password selfhelp. The songs I played & the people I interviewed are available below.
Say, I remember an episode of Voyager where radiation damage was cured with nanobots - what? Fictional as well? Fuck.
Self Help Radio Radiation Show
"Radiation (US Mix 1989)" Lesson Seven _Collection 1988-1992_
"Radiation" Evan Johns & His H-Bombs _Rollin' Through The Night_
introduction & discussion
"Radiation" Suicide _N.Y. No Wave_
"Radiation" Loli & The Chones _PS We Hate You_
"Radiation" King Tuff _Black Moon Spell_
"Radiation" Epoxies _Stop The Future_
"Radiation" Fingerprintz _Distinguishing Marks_
"The Radiation" My Favorite _The Kids Are All Wrong_
interview with staff chemist Allen Shariaty
"Transparent Radiation" Spacemen 3 _The Singles_
"This Radiation" Claire Birchall _Library Records 1998 - 2003: The 7" Single Years, 1998 - 2000_
"Cosmic Radiation" Clinic _Free Reign_
"Radiation" The Apples In Stereo _New Magnetic Wonder_
"Pink Radiation" Death Valley Girls _Glow In The Dark_
interview with physicist Dr. David Fruchter
"My Radiation Baby (My Teenage Fallout Queen)" George McKelvey _Atomic Platters_
"Radiation Squirm" The Judy's _The Wonderful World Of Appliances_
"Maximum Radiation Level" Man Or Astro-Man? _Deluxe Men In Space_
"An Alternative To Radiation" Myq Kaplan _Small, Dork, & Handsome_
"Radiation Song" The Aquabats _Myths, Legends, & Other Amazing Adventures Vol. 2_
"Radiation Man" Sara Hickman _Misfits_
Dramatic Readings Of Classic Rock Songs: "Radioactive" by the Firm
"Radiation" Stiphnoyds _The History Of Portland Punk, Vol. 1_
"Radiation Nation" Metal Mike, Alison & Julia _Surf City Or Bust_
"Radiation" The Turbo A.C.'s _Radiation_
"Radiation" Permahorn _My Blood Carries My Dreams Away_
"Chinese Radiation" Pere Ubu _The Modern Dance_
conclusion & goodbye
"Cosmic Love Radiation" Miss Kittin _Calling From The Stars_
"Radiation Dance" Asmodaeus _Lies & Logic_
"Sunshine Radiation" Anthony Mudrick _Sunshine Radiation_
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Whither Radiation?
(Yikes! This scary image found here.)
So sorry to be writing this so late. I've been busy working on the radiation show all day & I feel a little weak. Actually, I decided in the interest of keeping things real, I would get an x-ray every hour on the hour today. On the plus side, I have cool images of many things inside me. On the minus side, I'm not doing so well.
But Gary! I hear you say. How can I hear you say my name? Am I getting powers from radiation like a 1960s Marvel superhero? Anyway, I hear you say: There are non-lethal forms of radiation you could have exposed yourself to today like radio waves or the microwaves that apparently we use with our phones! & to that I say: now you tell me!
Look, I'm going to rest up & hope to get the show to you by noon tomorrow. If so, it'll be at Self Help Radio online right on time. If it's glowing a bit, don't worry. It's not like it's enriched on anything.
Hm, I appear to be glowing myself. Good news! I can stop spending money on prohibitively expensive night lights!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Preface To Radiation: At Last The Radiation Show!
There was a program on the BBC in the 1960s called At Last The 1948 Show. I am aware of that fact because I am a nerd & consequently a Monty Python fan, & that show predates Python & includes Graham Chapman & John Cleese, as well as Eric Idle as an occasional guest.
The show aired in 1967, so the title is a joke, & a very Pythonesque one, if you can call something Pythonesque before Monty Python existed. When I titled this "At Last The Radiation Show," I of course thought of the British program, which I've never actually seen entire episodes of. (The Wikipedia page says that it's available on Amazon Prime so I will check on that.)
In fact, the BBC erased the tapes on which the program was saved soon after airing, so it's been something of a quest to find copies of original episodes, & luckily there have been, I believe, eleven of the original thirteen discovered, of varying quality of course but better that than nothing.
Which makes me drawing attention to that show by calling this post something that reminded me of the show kind of pathetic, seeing how no one's really been waiting for the radiation show, nor will it be remembered after it's done. But since I promised a radiation show - has it been three weeks now? Or just two? - I'll deliver one this week.
Ooo, I can tell you're psyched about it. Or maybe you're just glad that you now know there's more Cleese & Chapman out there to see!
The show aired in 1967, so the title is a joke, & a very Pythonesque one, if you can call something Pythonesque before Monty Python existed. When I titled this "At Last The Radiation Show," I of course thought of the British program, which I've never actually seen entire episodes of. (The Wikipedia page says that it's available on Amazon Prime so I will check on that.)
In fact, the BBC erased the tapes on which the program was saved soon after airing, so it's been something of a quest to find copies of original episodes, & luckily there have been, I believe, eleven of the original thirteen discovered, of varying quality of course but better that than nothing.
Which makes me drawing attention to that show by calling this post something that reminded me of the show kind of pathetic, seeing how no one's really been waiting for the radiation show, nor will it be remembered after it's done. But since I promised a radiation show - has it been three weeks now? Or just two? - I'll deliver one this week.
Ooo, I can tell you're psyched about it. Or maybe you're just glad that you now know there's more Cleese & Chapman out there to see!










