Jump, Clarinet!

In all of the excitement over the great Nostril Hair Debacle this week (will Mitt Romney ever recover?), I have been unable to communicate with you about other, non-Self Help Radio-related radio experiences I had this weekend.

The one involving me & the transistor radio & the tub of bean dip cannot, unfortunately, be discussed in public. But I do think you can still see, in the St. David's Hospital emergency room, the chalk outlines left by the cops, & the sheer terror in the eyes of the EMTs & that nice fellow who sells the American flags. My lawyer says I apologize for all that.

But on Saturday morning, as hungover as could be, I subbed the show called "Big Band & Classic Jazz." I focused on the clarinet in the 1920s. I had fun. You can hear the show in its entirety over at selfhelpradio.net. Not once did I shriek that shriek which, I know, causes wolves to commit suicide. I save that for Fridays.

The next day, last Sunday, I showed up to sub Mojo Time & did a special Veteran's Day show about the post World War II blues phenomenon called "Jump Blues." It's also now available to be listened to over at selfhelpradio.net. I am not responsible for injuries sustained by you if, during the show, you choose to try to dance like you imagine people used to dance to jump blues. My girlfriend found that out the hard way.

Please enjoy lots of Gary on the radio. I must go now to spread rumors about my dentist. How he hates me! Well, now I'll give him a reason that has nothing to do with high fructose corn syrup!