Whither A Season Finale?

All things - good or not - must come to an end. Of course, Self Help Radio is not ending, but its place on the KOOP schedule is. It's happening at the end of the season. Ergo, Season Finale.

Where will Self Help Radio end up? Well, it comes with me wherever I go, so it'll end up in North Carolina. That's where I'll be by the end of the summer. Why, you many ask. Why Gary? Why the Deep South? You've quit smoking. You really don't want to have to explain yourself Jesse Helms. What gives?

I'll tell you. My girlfriend Magda is getting a job at Duke. Duke is a university in Durham, North Carolina. I love my girlfriend Magda in the way that a boy sometimes loves a girl & wants to be with her all the time. She's very smart & very dorky & we both have seen every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation too many times. She can speak the language of lemurs. She eats sesame tofu as fast as I do - if not faster. She's funny-looking in a pretty kind of way. I like her!

I decided I'd rather be with my girlfriend than without her. So I follow her. She gets to teach college, I get to work the clean-up shift at Whataburger. Wait. Do they have Whataburger in North Carolina? I need to start sending resumes out!

Self Help Radio may end up on the radio in Durham, or it may just be a podcast for the next year or so. In any case, it's unstoppable! You can't stop it! It's impossible to stop Self Help Radio! Like a crazy dream, it now leaps from the confines of "regular radio" into the aether, & online, but also into the aether, where it communicates with the space demons & protects Earth from unholy meteor penetrations & extraterrestrial salads!