Whither King Fill-In-The-Blank?

People sometimes think I get too weird about my themes. They say to me, do like the zombie that used to be Bob Dylan does: make millions of dollars writing great folks songs & then coast for more than half your life on your reputation. Wait. I mean, do a radio show with simple themes. Like "cars" or "baseball" or "days of the week that end in 'day'."

I do want to be more like the zombie that used to be Bob Dylan, especially with the money & the commercials with Victoria's Secret models & the occasionally flirtation with evangelical Christianity. But for some reason when my brain tells me to come up with a theme for a show, the chemicals involved get sidetracked, possibly by memories of seeing girls in their underwear, & suddenly bam! There's a theme that seems unnecessarily complicated.

For example, the zombie that used to be Bob Dylan would do a show about "kings." That would be simply enough & no one would scratch their head. His assistants would eagerly find songs for him that he would nod at as if he approved & then someone would write his script & his show would go off without a hitch. But not me. I am nothing like the zombie that used to be Bob Dylan. I am, some might say, not even a fraction of the rotting ego that that zombie that used to be Bob Dylan has. Because instead of doing a show about kings, or monarchy, or the notion of the divine right to rule, what do I do?

"King Fill-In-The-Blank." What?

See, this is the grand idea my foolish brain had: "Anyone can do a show about kings," my brain told me, "even the unpaid interns who gather music for the zombie who used to be Bob Dylan's show. But what if you saddle yourself with arbitrary restrictions in the theme? Won't that be something you might call fun but no one else would?" & because I am drinking at the time, I say, "Sure!"

Wait. What restrictions? Simple: the songs can be about kings, but they have to be about a specific king. King _____ . So you can't play a nice song like Tyrannosaurus Rex's "King Of The Rumbling Spires" but you can play a song called "King James." See?

Wait, wait. Does it have to be a real king? No. It just has to say King & some noun. Won't that be fun?

Oh, yes. Fun.