I've written a few times on this blog about the inane "A Joke A Day" email service (I'm sure there's more than one) which I would often subscribe to for email accounts that, back in the day, were free but which I never used. Often those email accounts would expire if you didn't have email coming to them, but because I thought it was (at least initially) funny to have email accounts at startrekonline.com & muslimonline.com (both sites, & my email addresses, are long defunct), I'd sign up for an account & then subscribe to the A Joke A Day service. One account I use still gets them, & I rarely read them, but am too lazy to unsubscribe. I recently thought, what if I actually saved them, then featured what I consider the best, or funniest, or worst, or most notable, or simply something to talk about once a week? & so I shall.
This was going to be a "credit where it's due" sort of post, since yesterday's A Joke A Day was actually one of the best jokes I've heard in the past ten years, but then this A Joke A Day appeared today:
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
Really? Would the joke be as funny if it had been "Husband wanted"? Not in this sexist society.
Seriously, if men dislike their wives so much - & considered them property which they can give away - why get married in the first place? For sex? Don't you imagine that the same sort of man who feels his wife is property & would humiliate her by writing a letter "offering" her to a complete stranger (indeed, one who's apparently desperate enough to advertise for a spouse) would find it not at all a problem to have sex with a prostitute, bringing home all manner of sexually-transmitted diseases?
Fuck them, & fuck men who think of women this way.
The category, by the way, is "men vs. women jokes." The Good Old Days.
In the interest of fairness, here's the good A Joke A Day, which I must've heard at least ten years ago, & I've edited it somewhat so it's actually told well:
A driver, speeding down the highway, was pulled over by the Highway Patrol. This officer was young & had about six weeks on the job.
The officer approached the driver’s window & said, "License & registration, please."
The driver noticed the officer was a rookie. "I'm sorry, officer," the driver said, "I no longer have a license. I lost it as a result of too many DUIs."
Taken aback, the officer said,"Then can I see your registration?"
The driver replied, "Um, all right, but it's not my car - I stole it about an hour ago. Still, I think I saw it in the glove compartment when I put my gun in there."
"A gun? In your glove compartment?" The officer took a step back.
The driver sighed. "Yes, officer. I had to kill the woman who owned the car before I stuffed her in the trunk."
The officer drew his gun on the man & said, "Do not make a move." The driver complied while the officer called for back-up. He was a bit hysterical.
Ten minutes later the driver is surrounded by Highway Patrol officers & local cops. A police detective approaches the man & says, "I'll need to see your license & registration."
As the driver slowly reached above his visor & pulled down his license & registration.
The detective looked them over; they checked out. He said, "May I look into your glove compartment, sir?"
The driver agreed. The detective slowly looked into it. There was no gun.
"Sir," the detective said, "please open your trunk."
The driver complied. The detective checked it - there was no body in it.
Puzzled, the detective approached the driver. He said, "Sir, I am confused. The officer who pulled you over reported that you did not have a license or registration, that you were driving a stolen vehicle, that there was a gun in the glove compartment, & that there was a dead body in the trunk."
The driver looked at the detective & said, "Yeah & I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too."
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