My Favorite Church Sign

This is one of my favorite church signs (the sign, not the slogan, though I don't like this slogan).  I pass by it every day, & the people who maintain the sign change it every week.  & it's usually a little embarrassing.

Like this one: I don't think the people who put the sign up realize that when you put words in quotation marks, you imply that you don't quite mean what you're saying.  As the Wikipedia notes in its article on quotation marks:


Another common use of quotation marks is to indicate or call attention to ironic or apologetic words:
He shared his "wisdom" with me.
The lunch lady plopped a glob of "food" onto my tray.

The sign therefore suggests that the things that God (assuming it's the Christian god) does are "impossible" - meaning he does things that aren't really impossible at all.  The truly impossible things - influencing sports contests through prayer, creating storms to punish behavior he doesn't approve of, giving powers to heal to people who seems like charlatans - he really can't do.

I don't think they meant it that way.  Oops!

This week's - I don't have a picture - says, "HAVE A GOD DAY."  Really?  Assuming they mean the Christian god, are we supposed to walk with prostitutes, lepers, & the poor, & try to heal them, & spread the message that we are the son of the one true god up there?  Should we treat our supper as our last?  Should we go to the desert & fast until we hallucinate that we do battle with a demon?

Or do we have to go back & create the universe?  That could take some doing.  "Let there be light!" I would scream - & then my wife would flip a switch & call me a weirdo.

It's easier, I guess, than having a Zeus day, I suppose.  Jesus, how hard must it be to try to rape someone in a swan outfit?  Never mind as a shower of gold!