A Place To Put Yourself

This might be the imaginariest conversation you've ever had:

I want an imaginary conversation.
Why?
Don't you?
Don't I?
I knew it!
Is it nighttime where you are?
It's not even Thursday here.
Didn't get much sleep.
Have you tried counting cheese?
Yes, but the counting keeps me awake.
The cheese keeps me awake.
Iron the cheese? Are you mad, woman?
Am I mad at whom?
I don't know.  You tell me.
I'm mad at Whom. William Whom.
You.
Ewe.
Are you a boy or a girl?
Yes.
What are you doing now?
Writing down everything you say.
You don't say...
Neither does a chair.
It does.  Right at the top.
I'm usually under the chair.
I'm usually in the right mood.
I'm usually in the passing lane.
The left hand path is dodgy.
Are you a Zen Buddhist?
I am not a Buddhist.
Are you just Zen?
I am just, & one of many.
Do you use a wood-burning stove?
I don't need to.
Do you have microwave fingers?
I have a mind of my own.
Where you pop your popcorn.
Yes or no, have you ever tried scallops?
Yes or no, I have never tried scallops.
The cake was a lie.
The owls are not what they seem.
The penguins are what they don't seem.
The seams are not what they seam.
Are they the aliens?
Who?
The snakes are eating mice & skin.
They know how to party, snake-style.

This conversation, though imaginary, may have lasted forever.