Preface To Gas: Wind Up Working In A Gas Station

(I guess it kind of looked like this.  Image from here.)

It's true, I've worked at gas stations.  In high school.  & I believe the Seven-Eleven I worked at in Austin in 1989 had gas pumps.  But in high school, in 11th & 12th grade, I worked at a Mobil in Garland, Texas, one at the corner of Jupiter Road & Buckingham Road, & one a couple of miles down the street at Jupiter Road & Forest Lane.

My brother Ralph got me the job I believe in the summer or spring before 12th grade.  He was working at a place which had a Sikh man as manager - my first Sikh.  He called himself Rob, & was thoroughly Americanized.  Though he wore the turban, he had no accent, & he was quite a horn dog.

The summer before my senior year, I loved working there.  At some point, my brother Ralph no longer worked there.  I never figured out what happened.  There might have been some accusations of petty larceny.  Who knows?  I doubt he remembers - he had many jobs around that time.

The Rob transferred to the station at Forest & Jupiter, & I went with him.  & then, for some reason, he disappeared.  No one told me anything in those days.

Two things of note happened at that Mobil.  I listened to classic rock radio all the time - I remember I was working in the summer of 1985 when Live Aid was happening, & the American half was being broadcast on the radio (so I missed Elvis Costello, not knowing he just did one song).  One time - I
seem to remember this being on a Sunday morning, around Christmas time, possibly the only day I worked, there was a quiz on the radio about the John Lennon/Yoko Ono song "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)."  The question was about what Lennon & Ono said to each other at the beginning of the song - most everyone thinks they're saying happy Christmas to each other, but I knew they were saying it to their respective children.  I made customers wait while I answered - the first customer was understandably irked - but then, when I got the question right, she turned to the person behind her & said, "He won!"  I got a vinyl copy of the Shaved Fish best of collection, which I already had, but it was cool to win something on the radio.  It's why I love to give stuff away on the radio.

Not very long after that, after Rob was gone, the new manager, who was something of an oily type who liked to quiz me about history - I guess he wanted me to know he was smarter than him for some reason - asked me to train someone new.  & when I did, I thought I was doing the new guy a favor by showing him some shortcuts he'd inevitably use when he started working.  The new guy reported me to the new boss - apparently he was upset I wasn't doing things by the book or something - & he called me & fired me.  I knew I was being fired - he would never call me at home - & yet I hesitated quitting before he fired me.  Afterwards, of course, I told everyone I quit.

Some time later, Rob the former manager contacted me.  He had become a manager of an Exxon station down the street & offered me a job.  This was in the last few weeks of high school & I wasn't all that into it.  Plus, the shifts were like twelve hours long.  The Exxon station was larger, there was more opportunities for shoplifters & people running from their bills (this was way before pay-at-the-pump), & I don't think I worked there more than three weeks before I either quit or Rob quit & asked me to quit out of loyalty.  (Or the new manager didn't trust anyone Rob vouched for.)

Like I said, I'm sure the 7-11 I worked at a few years later had gas, but I can't remember it ever being a big deal or a problem.  It's still there, here's the place earlier this year:

Can you imagine, not only has nearly thirty years passed since I worked there, but there was a time when I, during my 11pm to 7am shift, would have to go out & change the trash bag by the pumps &, in the middle of the night, I would trying to wash the grease off the parking lot!  Also, I was robbed there three times, but that's a story for later.

The other two stations no longer exist.  The Mobil at Forest & Jupiter is now a Texaco, but it does look like they tore down the original Mobil building to make their newer, Texaco-ier one:

The Mobil at Buckingham & Jupiter is gone, & has been gone a long time.  It has suffered a worse fate than replacement: it's now a fucking bank!

All images from Google Maps.

Tumblr Blog I Like # 2

Do you like birds?  If so, maybe you also like pictures of birds?  What about absurd birds & their other woodland friends?  If so, you might enjoy False Knees.  I do.

Here's a sample:

That is certainly a Tumblr blog I like!

Back Again, There There

Where have I been? Was it a secret? Can I tell you that I'm a little paranoid so I often don't say where I am going because I imagine someone might use that information to break into my house & steal one of my cats. Not all of my cats. Probably just one.

Anyway, that's one of the reasons I don't usually announce where I am going in places that people might read like a blog or a supermarket (well, I know that's not a place that people read things like verbal announcements but it does remind me I do sometimes tell people in the soda aisle all about my plans & that usually ends with me being escorted out by a low-paid security guard who's just mad I've interrupted his "standing outside smoking" time), & it's also one of the reasons I don't do that "check in" thing people do on Facebook.  Again, one of these days I'm going to come home & find some ne'er-do-well has made off with one of my cats & I'll only have myself to blame.

What was I talking about?  I can't remember & I'm too lazy to read what I've already written, but I did want to say I was in Portland for the past few days & enjoyed it quite a bit despite the fact that I never once actually saw the sun any of those days plus it pretty much rained the entire time.  I wish I had some great stories about Portland but mainly it seems we drove around & ate a lot of great vegan food.  So much vegan food.  People often make jokes about overweight vegans - Patton Oswalt has one in his new special on Netflix - but I think there's something to be said about vegans being thought of as scrawny because there hasn't been a lot of great vegan restaurants & vegan options in the world.  Portland is correcting that.  Maybe overcorrecting.  I mean, there's a vegan cheese shop in Portland.  & it's fucking great.

Meanwhile.  Back to Self Help Radio.  A show this week about gas.  That's not a secret.

Whither A Week Without Self Help Radio?

(Image from here.)

There will be no new Self Help Radio this week.  But I do believe there will be an old episode of the show (probably a repeat of last week's) so the graphic above is misleading.  The show will not be off the air & of course the radio station WLXU will be on the air.  I am just terrible at finding appropriate graphics for these announcements.

What do you do if you don't want to listen to a repeat of Self Help Radio?  (Either tonight's show or the dozens on the archive page.)  I dunno.

Maybe read a book?

Or binge watch something on a streaming service?  (I am currently enjoying the show Mindhunter.)

Play with your pets?  Like, really play with them.  Wear them out.  Convince them you're more cat/dog/guinea pig/fish than human.

Make something with clay?  Or papier-mâché?

Listen to something new someone has recommended to you despite the fact that you think there's no good music anymore & you're going to end up listening to something you've heard a million times before?

Take a walk (weather permitting)?  Take a drive (but be safe)?

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun.  The show will be back next week at this time.  That's a promise, though I know it felt like a threat.  & promises are made to be kept.  No one keeps a threat.  No one says, "I made a threat & I'm gonna keep it."  That's just weird.

Boy this went on longer than I thought it would.

Preface To No Show This Week: Should I Say Something About Nothing?

Nope, there's no new Self Help Radio this week.  Whatever will you do?  I mean, besides not listen like you normally do.

Hey!  Didya know?  There's a whole lot of old shows archives for you to listen to!  If you're so inclined.  Or you can wait until next week, when there'll be a brand new show.  About gas.

Here's a show that isn't archived: ten years ago, Self Help Radio had songs & talk about pies.  So maybe pretend it is ten years ago, & tomorrow you may be hearing a show about pies.  In that case, reading this will make a lot more sense.

Tumblr Blog I Like # 1

Although I have liked other Tumblr blogs before, especially ones that are basically internet comic strips*, I haven't liked them in a numbered fashion, & so I begin an irregular series where I occasionally talk about Tumblr blogs I like.

(Previous ones do include Poorly Drawn Lines & Jake Likes Onions, just in case you missed those.)

Today I share with you Web Comic Name:

That hits a little too close to home.

The blog is here for you to enjoy.

* Why are internet comic strips funnier these days than the ones in the newspapers?

A Week Without Self Help Radio

(What an absurd headline.  Also, it's out of context.  Context here.)

This week there will not be a new episode of Self Help Radio.  Please, stifle your cheers of applause & sighs of relief.  I have done no calculations but I believe that, not counting automation errors, a new episode of Self Help Radio has aired every week since it premiered on WLXU, which would have been well over a year ago.

Wait, I can hear you say, automation?  Yes, you knew the show was pre-recorded (usually the day before it airs) & put on the automation to be broadcast on Wednesday nights.  Well, I can hear you rebut, then what's the problem?  Why not put it together earlier than usual so you can still have a show this week?

But.  But.  I want a vacation!

Is that all right?

The blog will remain active because I can't help myself but otherwise you'll have to "suffer" through a week without a new Self Help Radio.

Maybe, I dunno, listen to an old favorite?  Or even hate-listen to a show you really, really regret listening to?

Self Help Radio 171101: One Day

(Original image found here.)

Contrary to popular anxiety, this show is not actually "one day of Self Help Radio."  Nor is it technically "one day with Self Help Radio" - the show is merely two hours long.  It's simply a collection of songs which may express either the hope or fear that something may happen one day in the future or are simply descriptions of events that transpire during the course of a single day.  Nothing as awful as twenty-four hours of the show!

Is it an interesting idea for a radio show?  You be the judge of that.  Certainly there are many marvelous songs, as detailed below.  As well, there are discussions about one-day enlightenment, & things one can do in one day, & even a panel of talking heads discussing what they hope for one day.  There are elements here that may please the radio show listener, but also elements that may irk.  Who's to say?  You are to say!

It is at this point I must simply suggest you listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website.  You will be asked for a username & a password.  The username is SHR.  The password is selfhelp.  The show is two hours long, split into two parts.  What's in the two parts is listed below.

Enjoy!

(part one)

"One Day" Tages _Contrast_
"One Day" Tabby Thomas _Southern Funkin': Louisiana Funk & Soul 1967-1970_
"One Day" Baaba Maal _The Traveller_

"One Day" The Church _Seance_
"One Day (Peel Session)" The June Brides _Every Conversation: The Story Of The June Brides & Phil Wilson_
"One Day" Cannanes _Witchetty Pole_
"One Day" Pearly Gatecrashers _Spectacular_
"One Day" Postal Blue _Of Love & Other Affections_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"One Day At A Time" Polly Cutter _Television's Greatest Hits: 70s & 80s_
"One Day At A Time" John Lennon _The John Lennon Anthology_
"One Day At A Time" Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton _Once More_
"We Got To Meet Death One Day (Take 1)" Blind Willie McTell _Complete Recorded Works, Vol. 3 (1933-35)_

"One Fine Day" The Chiffons _The Best Of The Girl Groups, Vol. 1_
"One Fine Day" Bazooka Cain _Here Come The Days Of Bazooka Cain_

(part two)

"One Fine Day" Shel Naylor _The Freakbeat Scene_
"One More Day" The Humbugs _On The Up Side_
"One More Day" Descendents _Cool To Be You_

panel discussion

"One Small Day" Ultravox _Lament_
"One Better Day" Madness _Total Madness_
"He's Gonna Break Your Heart One Day" The School _Wasting Away & Wondering_
"What A Change One Day Can Make" The Louvin Brothers _Encore_

interview with writer Allen Shariaty

"One September Day" Nina Simone _Four Women: The Nina Simone Philips Recordings_
"One Day Forever" Those Dancing Days _Daydreams & Nightmares_
"One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell" Morrissey _Years Of Refusal_
"One Day We Say" Tania & Juan _One Day We Say_

"Heroes" David Bowie _"Heroes"_

Whither One Day?

(Image from here.)

Now that all the Halloween stuff is over - did you notice there's a new Self Help Radio this week?  That I haven't been talking about at all?  Because it was Halloween week?  Well, there is!

When I started this particular recurring segment of the blog, "Whither [the week's theme]?", I envisioned a deep discussion about what that week's particular topic was.  Very quickly I realized that sometimes the reason for a show is dumb & banal.  In fact, there are probably only a small range of reasons, from someone suggesting the theme to something topical related to the date (as the next month will show - I'll be doing my favorites of the year & my Christmas show in December).

A very common reason for the show is just that I might be listening to a lot of songs & wow, I realize that there are similarities.  This happened for the "one day" show.  It's a coincidence, of course - I'm sure there are always similarities & I just never notice them.  But when I do notice them, I have to decide whether it'd made a good show or not.  "One Day" did that one day a few months ago.  & now it's a radio show.

Not terribly interesting, I know, but I kinda like these "Whither...?" posts.  One day maybe I'll have a fascinating story, possibly related to an adventure, where something extraordinary birthed a radio program.  For now, though, the reasons are mostly boring.

It might still be a good show though!  You can listen tonight from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at Lexington Community Radio's website.  Lots of music (including a song written for the show!), silly interviews, & me struggling to say something about the theme.  In other words: the regular thing.

Halloween Week 2017: Werewolves!

(Original image here.)

Here's an oddity: a recording from the show's brief sojourn in West Virginia.  I was at WMUL, the student radio station in Huntington, from around August 2009 till June 2010.  Soon we would decamp to Kentucky, & WRFL.  But I continued my Halloween tradition with one of the hardest shows I've ever done.  There are not a lot of werewolf songs, my friend.

It turns out, actually, that there are lots of werewolf songs in the heavy metal idiom.  This is true!  I listened to more metal around that time than before or since.  & since it's not a genre I like, none of the truly metal songs made the cut.  But there's probably a great metal werewolf Halloween show out there.

Should you decide to listen, pay attention to the cool spots that WMUL made for itself.  Those spots were already years old when I got there - there was no real production department to speak of.  & those spots were not many, so after a few months, I had them all memorized.

Anyway, the show is now available & that complete all of Self Help Radio's Halloween shows from 2005 on, all available for your Halloween night listening - or beyond.  They're collected on the Self Help Radio Halloween page, with the werewolf show on top, & the password information above that.  The songs I played in both parts of the show are below.

Happy Halloween!

(part one)

"Were-Wolf" Kact-Ties _Altar Of Dreams: Classic East Coast Doo Wop & Girl Groups_
"Were Wolf" Carl Bonafede _Monster Bop_
"Wolfbane" Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers _The Original Monster Mash_
"Tiptoe Thru The Wolfbane" Robbie The Werewolf _At The Waleback_

"Werewolf" Michael Hurley _Armchair Boogie_
"Werewolves" Deadman _Our Eternal Ghosts_
"Werewolf" Jad & David Fair _26 Monster Songs For Children A - Z_
"Werewolf" Five Man Electrical Band _Absolutely Right: The Best Of Five Man Electrical Band_

"Werewolf" The Rockin' Barracudas _Cool Town Bop_
"Werewolf" Southern Culture On The Skids _Halloween Hootenanny_

(part two)

"I'm The Wolfman" Fuzztones _Monster A-Go-Go_
"I Was A Teenage Werewolf" Cramps _Songs The Lord Taught Us_
"She Said" Jon Spencer Blues Explosion _Plastic Fang_

"We Bite" Misfits _Earth A.D._
"My Tribute To The Misfits (aka: Your Sister Is A Werewolf Tonight)" Sicko _You Are Not The Boss Of Me!_
"Werewolf From Outer Space" The Neanderthals _The Latest Menace To The Human Race_
"Teenage Werewolf" Barbarellas _Queen Of The Galaxy_
"She's A Werewolf" Mike Hoffman _Monster University_

"The Howl Of The Werewolf (Dickenbock Edit)" Ah Cama Sotz _Music For Dark Nights & Full Moons_
"Animal In The Mirror" Luxuria _Beast Box_

Halloween Week 2017: Witches!

(Original image here.)

Welcome to my 2008 Halloween show!  This show never aired.  It didn't air because I skipped the week, or because I got sick, or because of technical issues.  It didn't air because I wasn't at a radio station at the time.

In the spring of 2008, my wife got offered a post-doc in North Carolina, at Duke.  For complicated reasons, she decided not to take it.  I had left KOOP in anticipation of leaving Austin, & when she didn't take the job, I simply decided not to go back.  Why?  Well, one is, that I couldn't have just resumed the show if I decided to go back (see below).  The other is that I knew my wife would be looking for jobs elsewhere, & we probably wouldn't stay in Austin.  That turned out to be true - in a year, we would be gone.

But did I let that stop Self Help Radio?  Nope!  For one, I had continued with the show into the summer despite leaving KOOP.  I left the station at the end of the "season" (at the time, KOOP has six-month "seasons" coinciding with the station's training schedule) because I didn't want to leave in the middle of the summer & punch an unexpected hole in the schedule.  & anyway, I intended to keep doing the show elsewhere (which of course I have done).  Why let a little thing like not being on the radio stop a radio show called Self Help Radio?

So you may be the first person to actually listen to this show!  It is now of course on the Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Pay attention to password info.  The show is around ninety minutes long, give or take, & it's in two parts, & what's in those parts is below.

(part one)

"Witches & Wizards" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Three Witches" Sonic World Orchestra _Shakespeare & Love_

"Witches! Witches! Rest Now In The Fire" Get Well Soon _Rest Now, Weary Head! You Will Get Well Soon_

"Seduce Your Lover (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Witch" Sonics _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 4_

"The Wicked Old Witch" The Bells Of Rhymny _USA Garage Greats 1965-1967 - I Want My Woman_

"Witch Girl" Mystrys _Before Birdmen Flew - Australian Beat, R&B & Punk 1965-1967_

"Mad Witch" Dave Gardner _Horror Hop_

"Swamp Witch" Deadbolt _Haight Street Hippie Massacre_

"Big Black Witchcraft Rock" Cramps _Fiends Of Dope Island_

"Love Spell (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"I Put A Spell On You" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _Voodoo Jive: The Best Of Screamin' Jay Hawkins_

"Witchcraft (For Your Love)" Temptations _Emperors Of Soul_

"Castin' My Spell" Johnny Otis _The Capitol Years_

"Witchcraft" Elvis Presley _Today, Tomorrow, & Forever_

(part two)

"My Girlfriend Is A Witch" Cattanooga Cats _Cattanooga Cats_

"Astral Sex (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Sad Witch" Hefner _Breaking God's Heart_

"She's Got A New Spell" Billy Bragg _Workers Playtime_

"Season Of The Witch" Donovan _The Very Best Of Donovan_

"Soft Power" Ladytron _Witching Hour_

"Zap The World" Wild, Hayes & Raye _H R Punfnstuf TV & Movie Soundtrack_

"Witches Brew" Janie Jones _We're In Love With The World Of Janie Jones_

"Old Witch, Old Witch" Burl Ives _A Twinkle In Your Eye_

"Free Guitar Lessons For Animals" Flossie & The Unicorns _L.M.N.O.P._

"Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead" Klaus Nomi _Simple Man_

Halloween Week 2017: Zombies!

(Original image here.)

This is the last Halloween show I did on KOOP.  It's also one of my favorites - music-wise, that is.  I love zombies & I love songs about zombies*.  It's also fun because around the time I did this show, I discovered that a pair of kids from KVRX were doing a similar, theme-based show, & I invited them up to hang out.  & they were great!

If you're wondering if I knew that this would be the last Self Help Radio Halloween show on KOOP - I don't know.  I don't think so.  My wife had gotten her PhD that summer & was looking for a job, but she wouldn't find one until 2009 - but I left KOOP before that, for reasons I might explain tomorrow or I might not, nyah.

Like the others, this show is on the Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's ninety minutes long, the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.

Enjoy!  Try not to be too frightened!

(part one)

"Zombie" CJ Buchanan _Brains!_
"The Living Dead" Mrhamburger _Sounds For The Active Dead_
"I Walked With A Zombie" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"Do The Zombie" Symbols _Laff Blasts From The Past_

"If You Shoot The Head You Kill The Ghoul" Jeffrey Lewis _It's The Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through_
"Zombie Song" Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome _2 Many Babes_
"Zombie Jamboree (Live)" Kingston Trio _The Guard Years Vol. 7_
"Love Zombies" Monochrome Set _Volume, Contrast, Brilliance...: Sessions & Singles, Volume 1_
"Zombies, Unite!" Unbearables _Just One Bite_

"Re: Your Brains" Jonathan Coulton _Thing A Week Two_
"Zombie Medley" Patton Oswalt _Feelin' Kinda Patton_

(part two)

"George Romero" Sprites _Modern Gameplay_
"Zombie Song" Besties _Singer_
"Astro Zombies" Doleful Lions _Song Cyclops, Vol. 2_

"She's A Zombie" Fall-Outs _Zombie 7"_
"Zombie Hop" Zombina & The Skeletones _Monsters On 45_
"Zombie Dance" Cramps _Songs The Lord Taught Us_
"My Girl Wants To Be A Zombie" Briefs _Steal Yer Heart_
"Pro-Zombie" Die ¨A;rzte _Ger¨usch_

"Zombie" gfire _Zombie_
"Waiting For The Zombies" Square Root Of Margaret _Teragram Photeur_

* I liked this show so much I kinda re-did it later (in 2010) as a sub show for WRFL.  Which you can listen to here, if you don't want to listen to the 2007 version.  It has more zombie songs, though!

Halloween Week 2017: Monsters!

(Original image here.)

Halloween week continues with another oldie but moldy Halloween show, this one from way back in 2006, a show about monsters.  (I don't think I could've come up with an entire show about Frankenstein, so this was my work-around.)  I will mention that, should you choose to listen, that the tape deck at the radio station was not the finest around.  It kind of makes my voice a bit higher than it actually is (although I know I can be a little goofy & excited on the air).  Or maybe I really sounded like that then?  I dunno, I barely listened to the first airbreak, although it's fun to hear Erin Hannan on the show, she was my apprentice in those distant days.  We enjoyed chatting on the air I think.

The show is now on the brand new Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's ninety minutes long, the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.  (I think I left out a song, probably because I forgot to turn the cassette tape over.  Oops!)  (It's really not one of my best shows.)

As I noticed, the page has all my recent Halloween shows, back to 2010 - & tomorrow I guess I'll be putting up the show from 2007?  Maybe?

Warning!  Thar be monsters here!

(part one)

"Monsters!" CJ Buchanan from _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!_
"Jaws Theme" Allan Parker from _Halloween Big Screen Thrillers_
"Monster" The Automatic from _Not Accepted Anywhere_
"The Attack Of The Giant Ants" Blondie from _Blondie_
"El Monstruo" Los Shains from _Teenage Shutdown Vol. 1: Jump, Jive & Harmonize_

"Monster Mash" Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band from _Cornology_
"King Kong" Big T. Tyler from _Loud Fast & Out Of Control_
"Eaten By The Monster Of Love" Sparks from _Angst In My Pants_
"Scary Monsters & Super Creeps" David Bowie from _Scary Monsters & Super Creeps_

(part two)

"She Loves Monsters" Bartlebees from _Urban Folk Legends_
"Monsters" Boy Least Likely To from _The Best Party Ever_
"New Monster Avenue" Mountain Goats from _Get Lonely_
"Monster" Ramonalisas from _Monster_

"Blob" Five Blobs from _They Came From Outer Space: The Alien Songbook_
"Bride Of Frankenstein" Toy Love from _Toy Love_
"Le Monster" My Favorite from _The Happiest Days Of Our Lives_
"The Monster (Oh Qu'il Est Vilain)" Stereo Total from _Fields & Streams_

"Monster Island" Dickies from _Second Coming_
"Bigfoot" Legendary Jim Ruiz Group from _Sniff_

Halloween Week 2017: Vampires!

(Original image here.)

Hey!  As a trick &/or a treat, I've dug up a very old show - a Self Help Radio from 2005 (so, twelve years ago) - a Halloween episode about vampires, which I have placed on a brand new Halloween page: Halloween on Self Help Radio dot net!

Now, I haven't listened to this show in many years - if ever.  I remember gathering the songs - it was fun to find so many songs about vampires - but I have no memory of the show, & I barely made it through the first airbreak, in which I am pretty low energy.  But it might be fun to hear an old episode of Self Help Radio & especially to have a lot of (let's face it) campy tunes for Halloween.

Especially because there's a song called "Dracula Gary."  That's a treat.

Again, the show is on the new Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's two hours long, so the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.

& yeah, the page has all my recent Halloween shows, back to 2010 - & in the next few days I'll try to put up all my old Halloween shows from 2005 on.  (Pre-2005 shows are on cassette & not digitized, I'm sorry.)

I hope you enjoy.

(part one)

"The Vampire Sleeps" Boris Karloff _Tales Of The Frightened Vol.II_
"Night Of The Vampire" Moontrekkers _It's Hard To Believe: The Amazing World Of Joe Meek_
"In The Vampire's Lair" Al Zanino _The Al Stan Masters: Best Of Reading's Oldies_
"Transylvania Twist" Bobby 'Boris' Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers _The Original Monster Mash_
"Bela Be Good" Ghouls _Dracula's Deuce_

"Vampire's Ball" Mann Drake _Vampire's Ball_
"Dracula's Castle" Mike Sarne _Come Outside With Mike Sarne: The Definitive Collection Singles_
"Dinner With Drac" Zacherle _Dead Man's Ball_
"The Vampire" Archie King _Doo Wop Halloween_
"I Want To Bite Your Hand" Gene Moss _Dracula's Greatest Hits_
"Dracula's Deuce" Freddy Fortune & The 4 Gone Conclusions _Monster Party 2000_

"Vampira" Bobby Bare _Horror Hop_
"Night Of The Vampire" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"Dracula Gary" Centimeters _The Centimeters Present The Facts Of Destiny_
"My Daddy Is A Vampire" Meteors _Rockabilly Psychosis & The Garage Disease_

(part two)

"Here Come The Vampires" Bunnygrunt _Jen-Fi_
"I Bleed" Pixies _Doolittle_
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" Bauhaus _The Singles_

"Laugh In A Grave" MrHamburger _Sounds For The Active Dead_
"Release The Bats" Birthday Party _The John Peel Sessions_
"I'm A Vampire" Future Bible Heroes _Eternal Youth_
"Dracula" Gorillaz _G-Sides_
"Vampire" Devon Irons _Arkology Vol. 1: Dub Organizer_

"Vampire Girl" Jonathan Richman _You Must Ask The Heart_
"Baby Vampire Made Me" Helium _Pirate Prude_

Self Help Radio 102517: Halloween 2017 - Black Cats!

(Original image by Ryan Conner, found here.)

Halloween is not even here & I've already scared my own pants off.  Black cats!  What was I thinking?  Sure, I live with one, but last night I could've sworn that I glanced out the window & saw a sea of yellow eyes!  If you never hear from me again after today, you may find me in the nearest litter box.  Evil fiends!

In addition to many songs that apparently have the power to summon the most devilish of cats, this Halloween show featured a panel discussion about the reputation of black cats, a conversation with a warlock, Allen Shariaty, who reveals secrets of the black cat, & a discussion with my spiritual mentor, the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently, about spiritual traditions involving the black cat.  & if that wasn't too much, Lexington singer/songwriter Jenny Adkins wrote a song just for the show!  Unlike most Self Help Radio episodes, this one appears to be more treat than trick!

You can listen to the show now at the Self Help Radio website.  To do so, you'll need a password & a username - those are available on the page.  The show is two hours long, divided into two hour-long files.  What's in those files (including the interviews) is below.

This show is not for the faint of heart!  Listen if you dare!

(part one)

"Never Kick A Black Cat" Boris Karloff _Tales Of The Frightened, Vol 2_
"Black Cat" Skinned Teen _Bazooka Smooth!_
"Black Cat (Cross My Path Today)" Lonnie Donegan _The Singles Anthology 1955-1967_

"Black Cat (I Don't Wanna Be Unlucky No More)" Jenny Adkins _Unlucky Charms_
"Black Cat Hoot Owl Blues" Ma Rainey _The Rise & Fall Of Paramount Records, Vol. 2 (1928-1932)_
"The Black Cat (Excerpt 1)" Diamanda Galás _Closed On Account Of Rabies: Tales Of Edgar Allan Poe_
"Black Cat" Tommy Collins _Black Cat Gonna Shake This Shack Tonight_
"Catblack (The Wizard's Hat)" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_

interview with warlock Allen Shariaty

"Black Cat Moan" Clara Smith _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Vol. 5 (1927-1929)_
"Old Black Cat" Ian Anderson _Rupi's Dance_
"Black Cat" Reverend & The Makers _Death Of A King_
"Black Cat Boogie" The Black Crabs _13 Times_

"Black Cat" Broadcast _Tender Buttons_
"The Black Cat" UK Decay _The Black 45 EP_

(part two)

"Black Cat Blues" The Beau Gentry _If You're Ready! The Best Of Dunwich Records, Vol. 2_
"Black Cat Blues" John Lee Hooker _Graveyard Blues_
"Black Cat" Ohio Players _Ecstasy_

panel discussion about black cats

"Black Cat" Willie Lane _Rural Blues, Vol. 1 1934-1956_
"Black Cat" David Ceredig-Evans & Rebecca Wright _KidsSongs_
"The Black Cat (Excerpt 2)" Diamanda Galás _Closed On Account Of Rabies: Tales Of Edgar Allan Poe_
"Thirteen Black Cats" Nan Wynn _Thirteen Black Cats_
"Black Cat" Ziggy Marley _Love Is My Religion_

interview with spiritual mentor Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Mean Black Cat Blues" Charley Patton _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Vol. 1 (14 June 1929 To Late November/Early December 1929)_
"Old Black Cat Blues (Jinx Blues)" Kokomo Arnold _Vol. 1 : Bad Luck Blues 1934-1938_
"Black Cat Blues (Take 2)" Memphis Minnie _Queen Of The Country Blues: All the Published Sides 1929-37_
"I Ain't Superstitious" Willie Dixon _I Am The Blues_

"Black Cat" Psychic TV _Trip Reset_

Whither Black Cats (Self Help Radio Halloween 2017)?

(Image from here - it's an interesting article, too.)

Every year Self Help Radio celebrates the spookiest of holidays (well, after Easter) with a special episode focusing on some creepy aspect of the event.  We've had shows about ghosts & vampires, about zombies & werewolves, about witches & mummies & monsters.  Scary places weren't neglected, either - there have been shows about haunted houses, graveyards, even hell.  Some terrifying concepts, too, have come under the show's scrutiny: nightmares & death have frightened a radio listener before.  (Let's not talk about the show about clowns, okay?)

This year, we will hear songs & discussion about the domesticated pet from hell, the black cat.  Oh sure, they're cute, they're sweet, they're cuddly & friendly, but what if they're really witches in disguise?  What if they're like Satan's spy cameras?  What if at night they're slowly sucking your soul out of your body & giving you toxoplasmosis instead?  These are all things that, while probably not possible, might freak you out if you're reading this while high.  Good lord, why are you reading this blog while high?  There are so many other cool things you could be doing!

Come join us tonight as we expose the evil black cat for the devilspawn it is!  Self Help Radio's spooky Halloween show is on from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central, on 93.9 fm WLXU in haunted Lexington, & online at Lexington Community Radio dot org, which is probably possessed by the souls of deejays long forgotten.

& remember - if Self Help Radio crosses your path, it's bad luck all the rest of the week!

Preface To Halloween 2017 - Black Cats: Cats Are Just Too Fucking Cool

Oh yeah, I'm bad ass.

That image above is from an article I think I'll read from tomorrow night with the headline Cats Domesticated Themselves, DNA Evidence Shows.

Whoa.

The truth is, I was a cat person before I was a dog person, & the reason is that they're cool as fuck.  They love you when & if they're in the mood.  The rest of the time they're doing their own thing.

So tomorrow I'm going to be talking smack about black cats, about how they're bad luck, they work with witches & devils, etc.  But all the while I'll be secretly envying them.

Because while most of us are as emotionally sloppy as dogs, precious few of us can be as cosmically cool as a cat.  That's why we vilify them!

Hope they can forgive me!

My Black Cat

The show this week is a Halloween show, a show about black cats.  My mother believes that black cats are bad omens, & more than once in our childhood did she make us go a different direction because a black cat crossed her path.  This is true.

She's very old now, & forgetful, & she was talking one day about how scared she was of black cats, & she asked me, "Do you think it's bad luck for a black cat to cross your path?"

My reply was, "If so, I'm the unluckiest person alive, because a black cat crosses my path literally all day long when I am at home."

The truth is, I am lucky to have a black cat at home.  I've talked about him over & over, but I thought, in honor of today's show, I'd share a few more pictures of my wonderful black cat.

His name is Bolan.  Here he is as a kitten, over ten years ago, sleeping with Ringo:

Here he is as a kitten with Winston, whom he is a little bit bigger than now:

Here he is with his brother George, & if you met him, you'd realize he was raised by dogs:

Here he is with the mother who wanted him, whom he loves very much:

He is a rather large cat:

& sometimes he has trouble relaxing, his life is so stressful:

So we're lucky that, a couple of years after we adopted him, we rescued the love of his life, Bronte:

So, if you're scared of black cats, this week's show might be terrifying for you.  But at our house, Bolan will be the most brazen of cats, & will gladly come to meet you if you come over.  He might also eat your hair.  It's a thing.  We can't figure it out.

Dream Vacation

This week's show is about black cats, who are vilified as bad omens & unlucky - & sometimes downright evil - among the superstitious, but I own a black cat & he's sweet as can be.

I've been on the lookout for great black cat stories & today I stumbled onto this one (from which the above picture is taken):

Adventurous Man Quits His Job to Travel Australia in a Campervan With a Beautiful Black Cat By His Side

My black cat Bolan is not fond of being in moving vehicles but I wouldn't mind traveling the country with my animals.  It's very true, life is better with black cats around!

Self Help Radio 101817: Faces

(Original image here.)

Self Help Radio has many faces.  One face is full of music.  Another face is full of talk.  Yet another face is kind of disgusting & you're repulsed even just by glancing at it.  In this way, Self Help Radio is a lot like a person, or perhaps many people, all with faces.  You get the idea.  I can torture metaphor as much as you like but it's really never going to make much sense.  I mean, one face per head, right?  Usually, that is.  I mean, there's always Edward Mordake.  But he's made up, you say.  Oh yeah?  If that were true, would Tom Waits sing about him?

We seem to have gotten off track.  This week's show was about faces.  Many faces were discussed, with a spiritual leader, a plastic surgeon, a psychologist, even a cyber-security expert.  & the music!  So much music about faces.  Oh my word.  It would be even more haunting than Edward Mordake.  Who never existed.  Oh yeah?  Would he be on American Horror Story is that were true?

Prepare your face to meet the faces you'll meet at the Self Help Radio website, where the show now resides.  Use your face to see information about a username & a password, information that's on the front (or front-facing) page.  The show is in two more-or-less equal parts, & what's in those parts is listed below.

Gotta go now & Face Time someone.  Enjoy!

(part one)

"Faces" TC Atlantic _Pebbles Vol. 3: The Acid Gallery_
"Faces" Harlem _Hippies_
"Faces" Jonathan Rado _Law & Order_

"Put On A Happy Face" Tony Bennett _New York, New York_
"Lose That Long Face" The Florentines _London Pavillion, Vol. 2: El 1987_
"Sad Voice & Mock Face" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Break Your Face" Talulah Gosh _They've Scoffed The Lot_
"Faces & Names" Lou Reed & John Cale _Songs For Drella_

interview with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Broken Face" The Pixies _Surfer Rosa_
"I've Just Seen A Face" Ludella Black _Alright, This Time Just The Girls, Vol. 2_
"Touch My Face" Malcolm Middleton & David Shrigley _Music & Words_
"Violently Pretty Face" Close Lobsters _What Is There To Smile About?_
"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" The Clams _Close To You 7"_

interview with psychologist Allen Shariaty

"Always See Your Face" Love _Four Sail_
"Your Face Betrays You" Mysteries Of Life _Come Clean_

(part two)

"Shaddup You Face" Joe Dolce _Australian Pop Classics: Novelty Songs Of The 60s & 70s_
"Making Faces At Each Other" I, Brute Force _Confections Of Love_
"Look At This Face (Oh My God They're Gorgeous)" Handsome Boy Modeling School _So... How's Your Girl?_

interview with cyber-security expert David Fruchter

"Baby Face" Little Richard _The Essential Little Richard_
"Smiling Faces Sometimes" The Undisputed Truth _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 11A: 1971_
"Drugface" The Passage _Enflame_
"Your Silent Face" Velocity Girl _Your Silent Face 7"_

interview with plastic surgeon CJ Buchanan

"Face Cream" Simon I _Simon I_
"Faces Stay With Me" The Thermals _Desperate Ground_
"The Face Of Everything" The Ballet _Mattachine!_
"Faces Stay With Me" Drug Boyfriend _Faces Stay With Me_
"Pretty Faces" Nicki Jaine _Projekt Presents: A Dark Cabaret_

"Joker Hysterical Face" The Fall _Room To Live_

Whither Faces?

(I found this here.)

What can be said about faces that I can't say to your face?  I don't want you to think of this show as some kind of face-off - & certainly I'm not doing it to save face.  Let's face it - you're more likely to consider me a baldfaced liar than just another pretty face.  & I'm not interested in flying in the face of what some might call tradition - I'd rather fall off the face of the earth! - but you'd rather cut off your nose to spite your face than be discovered you've got egg on your face.  It's written all over your face!  But I can talk till I'm red in the face to your resting bitch face but I have to face facts: if I don't do an about-face, I'm gonna fall flat on my face.  I took you at face value & now I have to face the music.  I'm request some face time but you'd just get in my face & insult me, saying something like I have a face that can stop a clock.  & I don't wanna face that.  It would be just a slap in the face.

What can I say?  It's a radio show about faces.  Tonight from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at LCR Online.  Please listen.  I promise it won't be so in-your-face.

Preface To Faces: Confession Time Again

There are times when I am so lucky that Self Help Radio doesn't have superfans (or even average fans) who might nitpick things I say, might catch me in the off chance I re-do a theme, might grumble when I play a song that's really more fitting for a different theme.  In addition to that being weird - someone as interested in the show as I am - I mean, it seems freakin' unthinkable - such a situation would also make me more likely to be embarrassed about things that I am not usually embarrassed about, because no one really notices.

For example: Self Help Radio has covered the topic of faces before.

What?!?!

It's true.  It was on July 6, 2005, but it wasn't a show I was involved with.  It was subbed by a deejay named Danny Shiman, who was filling in for me becayse I had traveled that week to San Francisco with my girlfriend for to see an Indiepop Festival (I believe this was the one that had both the Lucksmiths & My Favorite!) & Danny gladly decided he'd keep the Self Help Radio format, if I gave him a theme to explore.  I gave him the theme "the human face."

The reason I chose this is because I knew it would be fairly easy to cover: he could play songs about eyes, nose, mouth, lips, cheeks, etc.  & so he did.  You can find his playlist on this page but you'll have to scroll down to July.  It's instructive if you want to do so, not only to see that he played a great mix of songs in the tradition of the show, but also because I won't be playing any of these songs.

It was common in those days - or it would've been if it had happened more than a few times - for me to give people themes that I myself would've found too easy to cover - no disrespect to Danny.  So too later when my friend Justin subbed the show, I told him to do a show about tools, where I might have done a show exclusively about, say, hammers.  I remember an April 15 sub when I asked my guest host, Art, to cover death & taxes.  Death is one of those subjects you could actually do an entire, lifelong radio show about.  It seems a cheat to do that just once.  For me, not for someone who isn't always doing theme-based shows.

Anyway.  Faces has been a Self Help Radio theme before.  I haven't covered it, & it wasn't covered in the same dumb, obsessive way that I would've done it, although, again. Danny did a fine job.  I was pleased when I saw the playlist.  & yeah, I thought he did it far better than I would've.

& we'll see how true that is tomorrow, won't we?

Going To The State Fair Tomorrow

(Image from here.)

Yes, the wife & I will be attending the Texas State Fair in Dallas tomorrow, so I need to get this week's show done tonight so I haven't any time to write in the blog, so you'll have to enjoy a picture of Big Tex & maybe read the link above, about a vegan trying to find food at the fair.  We might have that problem, too.  We're not really going for the food.  Or, as it seems safer to call it, the "food."

Fort Worth Stories No. 2

Way back here, I told a story about our then-new surroundings in the western half of the Metroplex, but for some reason I never told another Fort Worth Story.

This past week, I shared this on Facebook, so I thought it would make a decent Fort Worth Story, even if it's not much of a story as it a series of observations.

-----

At the Tom Thumb on Camp Bowie in Fort Worth, time moves very slowly. The Eurythmics song on the store speakers sounds like it's a 45 played at 33. A man named Larry, who most probably fought in the Korean War & who should be dozing on a porch in retirement bliss, unhurriedly works the register in the ironically entitled Express Lane. He has a plastic bag fetish; he never puts more than two items in a bag, he loves to pull each one up & out in a deliberate, even robotic motion, handing them over after each completed fill to the customer, so someone who's bought the limit of fifteen items now has eight plastic bags in their shopping cart. A man who looks older than Larry, if that's possible, waits ten minutes in front of me to buy a can of peas. He seems so proud to get his can in a plastic bag but then can't figure out how to exit the store, & is still wandering around when it's my turn. As I approach the counter, I tell Larry, "I won't need a bag," & this makes him drop my Tom Thumb discount card. "No bags?" he says incredulously. Then he spends a minute trying to find my card behind the register. When I leave, I feel almost as old as Larry, & nowhere as proud of my purchase as the man with the can of peas, who follows me out the door, but then seems confused about where he's now found himself in the strange outside world.

-----

Self Help Radio 101117: Memories Revisited (The Fifteenth Anniversary Show)

(Original image here.)

Ah, what a memorable night!  The fifteenth anniversary of Self Help Radio!  The wine flowed!  The music played!  There was laughter, joy, merriment!  I sure wish I could remember any of it.

You see, while everyone was celebrating, I was busy playing the songs & conducting the interviews, & making sure everything went smoothly so we could have fifteen more years of the show.  (Which means I'll be almost sixty-five when that happens - I think we can all agree it might be better to have died in World War III instead of that.)

Still, one hopes everyone had a nice time, & if you are one who did not, because you couldn't attend, you're in luck!  Because the show was captured for posterity & now is available for your listening pleasure at your listening leisure.

It's at the Self Help Radio website & you can access it if you know the username (SHR) & the password (selfhelp) that is also available on the website.  It's in two almost-equal parts (roughly an hour each) & what's in the parts - including the interviews - is noted below.

But I'm glad these anniversaries only happen once a year.  They are sure exhausting.  What?  That's the definition of an anniversary?  Oh.  Well.  You don't have to be so snotty about it.  Sheesh.

(part one)

"Memories" The Free Design _Heaven/Earth_
"Precious Memories" Sister Rosetta Tharpe _The Original Soul Sister (1946-48)_
"Cherished Memories" Eddie Cochran _Somethin' Else: The Fine Lookin' Hits Of Eddie Cochran_

"Mountain Of Memories" David Ruffin _David - The Unreleased Album_
"Memories" Slick Rick _The Art Of Storytelling_
"I've Left Memories Behind" Jay & Sam Clarkson _Stroke: Songs For Chris Knox_
"Memories Of Love" Future Bible Heroes _Memories Of Love_

interview with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Memories Can't Wait" Talking Heads _Fear Of Music_
"Memories" Clinic _Do It_
"Losing Memories" Bedhead _Beheaded_
"Memories On Memorex" Viktor Fiction _Memories On Memorex_

interview with former Self Help Radio apprentice Allen Shariaty

"Memories Of You" Lonnie Johnson & Elmer Snowden _Blues & Ballads_

(part two)

"Memories Are Made Of This" Dean Martin _That's Amore: The Best Of Dean Martin_
"House Of Memories" Merle Haggard _Down Every Road 1962-1994_
"Black Memories" The Growlers _Chinese Fountain_

interview with Radio Schools Of America founder & teacher CJ Buchanan

"Come & Get Your Memories" Martha & The Vandellas _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 3: 1963_
"Forest Of Memories" The Lovely Eggs _This Is Our Nowhere_
"Memories" Liechtenstein _Fast Forward_
"Memories" Noel Ellis _Jamaica To Toronto: Soul Funk & Reggae, 1967-1974_

interview with famous radio host David Fruchter

"Bad Memories" Ed's Redeeming Qualities _Big Grapefruit Clean-Up Job_
"Memories Fade" Bart & Friends _Make You Blush_
"Sell Your Memories" Fonda _The Strange & The Familiar_
"Memories Cabernet" Drug Boyfriend _Memories Cabernet_

"Memories" Leonard Cohen _Death Of A Ladies' Man_
"You Bring Back Memories" The Supremes _Meet The Supremes_

Whither Memories?

(Original image here.)

5,478 days of Self Help Radio?  That sounds like a horror story!

Luckily, it's been far, far fewer than that.  Even if there had been a Self Help Radio every week since 2002 (there hasn't), it would still mean a maximum of 780 days of shows, which, if they were all two hours long (they weren't), would be 1,560 hours of Self Help Radio.  That's roughly sixty-five days, or a little over two months, of Self Help Radio, which, I agree, is still worrying, but is nowhere near as catastrophic an idea as fifteen years.  But it's entirely understandable if you think that's way too much Self Help Radio.

There are so many people in so many radio stations to blame for this!

But instead of finding fault, let's just smile sweetly & congratulate this pitiful show on its longevity, as if that's a matter of rare achievement & not a lot of luck & not a little entropy.  & you can indeed celebrate by listening tonight, when we revisit a theme from the distant past, 2004, when we first did a show about memory.  Tonight it's all about memories (plural) & there will also be plenty of memories for me about the show & my life.

That's from (fingers crossed) 8-10pm central, 9-11pm eastern, on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at LCR Online.  I hope you'll join in on the celebration!  Also, BYOB.

Preface To Memories (The Fifteenth Anniversary Show): Fifteen Years Of This?

Oy it's been a long day.  I had to put the show together & sent it off to WLXU.  Plus I am doing a show tomorrow (the Wednesday Morning Blend) so I spent the other half of the day listening to music to prepare for that.

Did you know I am a serial procrastinator?  I will literally wait until the last minute to do something that I could easily have done a few days early without any pressure.  Like, for example, I do this Arts Calendar for KFTW here in town.  I could knock out a month's worth in a couple of hours - it's not like there's an opera suddenly schedule with a week's notice.  But they're due on Thursday so I finish them on Wednesday.  I can't help it.

& you know what?  I long for the day when I can't get something that was supposed to be done at a certain time on time.  I want it to be something I promised that simply cannot be late.  & when I fuck up I want pretty much everyone mad at me.  I want to be so scarred by it that I do everything early for the rest of my miserable life.

It's amazing that that hasn't happened.  It will happen.  I hope it's soon.  But for fifty years (almost) I've gotten away with it.  & today, though I barely got four hours of sleep last night, well, I'm done with Self Help Radio & I think I'm prepared for the Morning Blend.

Oh, about Self Help Radio - I promised I'd tell you how I plan to organize the show for this week - I am narrowing the theme to simply songs about "memories."  It cut the number of songs I had to listen to in half!  It was amazing.

But I don't get to play the Mountain Goats' "You Or Your Memory."  & that makes me sad.

Blog-Navel-Gazing

You've been warned.

By now you're aware that I like to put barriers in my way, roadblocks, rules, restrictions.  I like to make things harder for me - at least as far as Self Help Radio is concerned.  I think it might've happened around the time Bob Dylan did his "Theme Time Radio Shows."  Not that I ever felt I was in competition with him - ha ha ha, no - but I think out of some personal sense of spite, I was like, "Oh if he's going to do a show about hair*, then I'm going to narrow my focus."

& yeah, I don't always do that - my upcoming show about faces could have thousands of songs - but I did feel like I needed to distinguish the show from all the other theme shows that exist & that pop up all the time every day.  (Do they?)

In 2008 I thought of revisiting an old theme - it's amazing that the show was only six years old at the time - when I celebrated an anniversary.  But by "revisiting," I didn't mean playing the same old show.  I didn't want to do that.  I wanted to play music I might have discovered in the intervening years.  So, for example, when I revisited my 1968 show, I didn't play anything that I played on the original show.

This week's show will probably play a few songs - maybe three - from the show about memory thirteen years ago.  But there will be a very distinct, annoying, Gary touch to it.

Which I will explain tomorrow.

Coming back to Dylan, though, I have to say: I'm skeptical that he picked all the music himself.  I mean, look at that playlist for the hair show.  Can you tell me with a straight face that you believe Bob Dylan listens to They Might Be Giants?

* Which he did in January 2007, while I covered a similar theme - & played at least one of the same songs - six months earlier.

Fifteenth Anninversary

(original image here.)

On October 9, 2002, Self Help Radio premiered on 91.7fm KOOP Austin, Texas.  It was 2pm.  The very first theme was "War," because at that time, one year after 9/11, the Republican administration was sending signals it really, really wanted to go to war with Iraq, a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.  It was a confusing, sad time, & I am sad to report it remains the same.

Self Help Radio, though, has changed, & not just its location.  One thing is that I very soon began resisting "easy" themes like "war."  Maybe not within the first couple of years - I really didn't imagine that the show would last all that long - but when I realized I wanted to do the show for a while, I figured, what the hell, let's plan a little better & explore some really interesting themes.

Here's something else that's different: I would put the show together the night before.  I had so much confidence I could come up with a theme that I didn't really think about the show except less than twenty-four hours before it aired.  That meant I never knew what a theme would be at the end of the previous week's show - one time I remember thinking I'd do a cool theme where every song would be a song about another band, only to be told by a friend that another show on another station had done that just a couple days before.  How embarrassing it would be to seem a copycat or a plagiarist!

Another time I did do that, & the theme was "devils," I think (that would make it in 2003), & someone called & said another show the day before had done a show about devils.  I said it was purely coincidence - I didn't listen to that show - but the caller was convinced this meant something diabolical was happening in Austin.  I didn't know how to reassure him.

Anyway, the traditional gift for the fifteenth anniversary is crystal.  So please send your presents of crystal meth to the Self Help Radio offices in Fort Worth, Texas, by the time of the show.  Please note that the packages contain "timepieces."  That's a modern twist on the fifteenth anniversary present.  No one will be fooled.

Seriously, though.  Crystal meth.  I mean it.

Self Help Radio 100417: Foxes

(Original image here.)

Yay foxes!  It's about time someone gave them a radio show!  So glad it got to be Self Help Radio!

& already the reviews are pouring in: every fox with a radio or the internet loved it, while most hounds with access to the show are giving it mixed reviews.  How do the foxes get their reviews to me?  Like everything else, I learn what people think by reading the comments section.

There's also some indication that humans who find themselves "foxy" also enjoyed the show, so if you missed it but consider that adjective apt, by gum, listen now.  There are not only lots of fox songs, but there's an interview with a zookeeper, a report from a furry convention (where people dress as foxes), & my spiritual mentor talks about the deeper meaning of foxes.  It will also give you something to talk about with foxes in those awkward moments when you come across one & find they're immune to small talk.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  You don't have to be sly as a fox to figure out the username & password needed for the show - it's on the website already.  The show is in two parts, & what's in the parts, as well as where the interviews are, is listed below.

Yay foxes!

(part one)

"The Fox" Odetta _At The Gate Of Horn_
"The Fox" A Certain Ratio _Early_
"The Fox" The Rondelles _Shined Nickels & Loose Change_
"A Fox (Maybe I'd Better Stay Me)" The Smothers Brothers _Aesop's Fables The Smothers Brothers Way_

"Hounds Of Love" Kate Bush _Hounds Of Love_
"The Old Fox" The Mekons _Natural_
"Arctic Fox It's A Setup!" Mike Birbiglia _Two Drink Mike_
"Foxheads" Close Lobsters _Foxheads Stalk This Land_
"Fox On The Run" Dondero High School A Capella Choir _Pop Concert 1995_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Fine Old Foxy Self" James Brown _The Singles, Volume 3: 1964-1965_
"Foxy Girls In Oakland" Rodger Collins _Bay Area Funk_
"This Is A Foxy World" Tom Tom Club _Close To The Bone_
"Foxy Lady" The Cure _Three Imaginary Boys_
"Foxy Boxer" Bearsuit _Oh:io_

"The Fox In The Snow" Belle & Sebastian _If You're Feeling Sinister_

(part two)

"Fox & The Hounds" Henry Thomas _Before The Blues, Vol. 3: The Early American Black Music Scene_
"The Fox Chase" Wade Ward & Bob Carpenter _Southern Journey, Vol. 2: Ballads & Breakdowns (Songs From The Southern Mountains)_
"Lonnie's Fox Chase" Lonnie Glosson _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 5 (1935-1937)_

Marge Most reports from a furry convention

"Fox In Socks" Marvin Miller _Dr. Seuss Presents Fox In Socks, Horton Hatches The Egg, & Other Stories Including The Sneetches_
"The Bear & The Fox" Tim Yen Yen _Everything Beautiful Reminds Me Of You_
"The Fox & The Grapes" Joan Gerber _The Story Lady_
"Nice Fox" The Rosebuds _Life Like_
"Foxx & I" The Magnetic Fields _50 Song Memoir_

interview with zookeeper Tony Sharpetti

"Red Fox" The Choir Practice _The Choir Practice_
"Foxes Of Kalahari" The Search _Deranged Minds Unite_
"Find The Fox (Demo)" XTC _Coat Of Many Cupboards_
"Fake Fox Fur Pillowcase" The Wave Pictures _Great Big Flamingo Burning Moon_
"Faux Foxes Improvise Limelight" Drug Boyfriend _Faux Foxes Improvise Limelight_

"Reynard The Fox" Julian Cope _Fried_
"Fox Box" The Dirtbombs _Horndog Fest_

Whither Foxes?

(Found here.)

Damn, foxes are cute as fuck.  They make me want to just have every frickin' show be about cute things, just so I can put pictures of them on the Facebook page.  I mean, the theme of the show the week before was guilt.  No one wants to look at pictures of guilt!

& yet, their adorable nature was not the reason for the show.  No, the idea came to me because I was reading about another cute animal dear to my heart: beagles.  The story of the fox is often wrapped up into the story of the hound.  Not only are they closely related, but, you know, one hunts the other, thanks to human beings.  I bet otherwise they'd just hang out together.

Stuff I was reading talked about domestication, which I talked about yesterday, & which led to the show today.  That's sometimes how inspiration strikes.  It's often deliberate.

& so Self Help Radio's show about foxes is on tonight on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online of course at LCR Online.  It's on from 8-10pm central & 9-11pm eastern.

The show's not nearly as cute as that picture above.  Just warning you in advance.

Placeholder: 2,700th Post

This is the 2,700th discrete bit of writing on this blog, which began September 12. 2006, just a little over eleven years ago.  It has never really had much of a purpose & continues to in that vein.

Huzzah.  Celebratory music.  Confetti.  Toasts & cheers.  Revelry.  Regret.  Depression.  Acceptance.

"Here's to 2700 more," one drunken fool burps, & is promptly punched in the face.

Preface To Foxes: Domestication

There was an argument today on the morning dogwalk between me & the wife (not me & the dogs) about the domestication of foxes.  I had read that one of the more interesting things about foxes is that, despite their being related to wolves & dogs, they have resisted domestication.

The wife, who is a smarty-pants, said, "What about the Russian foxes?"

Sadly I had to confess to her that I hadn't heard about them.  When I quickly read about them on my  phone - probably while she was picking up dog poop - I was able to point out that this particular attempt at domestication has only been going on for a few decades.  In contrast, some researchers believes humans domesticated dogs like fifteen thousand (15,000) years ago.  That's quite a difference.

Luckily she doesn't notice things like this report, which is about a fox being domesticated, although it is a fox that has been bred for its fur, so it's not a wild fox.

None of this by the way dissuades me from wanting a fox of my own.  I don't know if I could handle a wild fox, but if you know of any douchebag fox fur farms around here, let me know - it might be worth planning a rescue.

Pictures Of Foxes

Over at the Self Help Radio Facebook page, I've been sharing links to pictures of foxes.  I will also share them here now.

These 22 Photos Will Make You Fall In Love With Foxes

7 Of The Most Breathtakingly Beautiful Fox Species In The World

The Foxiest Foxes on the Internet

You're welcome!

Maybe go over & like the page to see other stuff that's posted there?

Meet My Pets (Again?) # 8: Yoko

I adopted Yoko from my sister, who died two years ago, & who asked me - when I didn't think she was very sick & when she knew no one else would - to take her if anything bad happened.  I discussed that here, but that wasn't much about Yoko.

Yoko's a chihuahua mainly - some think she may have a little hound in her, maybe dachshund - but she's scrappy & yappy & definitely wishes she could be one person's dog - it used to be my sister, now it's me, although she does fine with the other dogs & with the cats & with the wife.

Yoko & I travelled from Texas to Kentucky over two day in the summer of 2015.  She was very needy when the car wasn't moving, & so I took her with me wherever I went.  If I left her in the hotel room, she'd claw at the door & bark.  So when I went for food, I took her.  I went to a pet store to buy her food, since my sister had told me she was finicky.  & I put her dog bed - taken from my sister's house - on the hotel room bed with me, so she could sleep there.

It might be that she bonded with me then.

My wife Magda was in Spain doing research at the time & she later told me she had intended to adopt Yoko out, but Yoko stole her heart within days.  Magda gave Yoko her name, too - she said the little dog "broke up the beagles."  She also advised me that Yoko wasn't finicky, just spoiled - she would eat, Magda said, when she was hungry.  She was right - & Yoko also took to walks right away, if only to bark at everything that passed.  She especially hates bicycles & mail carriers.

She weighed over twelve pounds when I brought her home.  She now weighs between seven & eight. She's healthy, she's happy, & she has, as I've said, fit it well with the other dogs.  But she does follow me around.  If I have time to nap, she will come very happily into bed with me during the day & burrow under the covers.

& she's mellowed out.  When we have guests over, she gets used to them quickly, & remembers neighbors whom she's already met.

Magda often says that she'd rather have Pat, my sister, back, but she wishes she could tell her what a gift Yoko was to us.

Maybe I should've talked about the night I met Yoko - when Pat was in the hospital, & she asked us, who were visiting, to let her out.  Yoko hated us.  She growled & cowered in a corner.  I tried & tried to befriend her.  It wasn't until we were there for a while, when the other dogs needed to go out in the middle of the night, that she just came along with us.

Well, that's the story.  There's more to it, I guess.  Just like there's a lot more to Yoko.  The youngest, newest member of our pack.