This Week In Self Help July 27 + 29

That's a picture of my favorite tree in Woodstock Park in the spring. I just have no other pictures to share with you about the theme of "at last." But at least I have a pretty picture to share.

On the radio two days this week I have this to report:

On Sunday the 27th on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM was the first part of a two-part special report about the year 1925. Listen to it: on the XRAY website | on the Self Help Radio website.

Later Sunday the 27th on KBOO I subbed a show in which I played music from recent reissues on the Guerssen label. KBOO doesn't archive sub shows, but you can see the playlist on Spinitron & you can listen to it on the Self Help Radio website.

Tuesday the 29th on Self Help Radio on KBOO I explored the theme "at last." Listen to it: on the KBOO website | on the Self Help Radio website.

Later Tuesday the 29th on Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO I played lots of new releases. Listen to it on the KBOO Self Help Radio file linked above or on the Self Help Radio website.

As always, I remind you that you might need a username & password on the Self Help Radio website. I say use SHR & selfhelp respectively if that is the case.

Self Help Radio 072925: At Last

At last! Your package of Self Help Radio has finally arrived! Too bad it's just the regular radio show with another goofy theme. This one is - at last!

In addition to all the songs I talk to my neighbor Chad, who has become president of our homeowners' association at last; & to my friend Jarvis, who has gotten his geography paper published at last. & though I did want to reveal the secret of KBOO at last - some guy name Curt called in. Plus there were lots of songs.

At last you can listen to the at last show - either on the KBOO website or on the Self Help Radio website. If you use the latter, please remember the username SHR & the password selfhelp. Most everything that happened on the show is listed below.

At last I can stop using the phrase at last!

Self Help Radio At Last Show

"At Last! At Last!" Bing Crosby _Through The Years Volume Three 1951-1952_

"Now At Last" Blossom Dearie _Blossom Dearie_

"At Last" Etta James _At Last!_

intro & definitions

"At Last You've Come Back" Eddie Quinteros _Quinteros Au Go-Go!_

"At Last (I Found A Love)" Marvin Gaye _The Complete Motown Singles | Vol. 7: 1967_

"Alone At Last" Ruthann Friedman _Hurried Life (Lost Recordings 1965-1971)_

"Weirdsong Of Breaking Through At Last" Principal Edwards Magic Theatre _Dust On The Nettles (A Journey Through The British Underground Folk Scene 1967-1972)_

"Gone At Last" Paul Simon _Still Crazy After All These Years_

interview with my neighbor Chad Mopes

"Peace At Last" The Contents Are _Through You_

"Love Is Gonna Come At Last" Badfinger _Airwaves_

"(It Seems Like) Summer's Here At Last" New Salem Witch Hunters _The New Salem Witch Hunters_

"Time Enough At Last" The Fall _Code: Selfish_

"Alone At Last" Steve Westfield _Hotel Massachusetts_

interview with my friend Jarvis

"Free At Last" Dock Reed & Vera Hall Ward _Goodbye, Babylon_

"Free At Last" Fontella Bass _Rescued: The Best Of Fontella Bass_

"Free At Last" Jackie Day _Change Is Gonna Come: The Voice Of Black America 1963-1973_

"Free At Last" Al Green _Livin' For You_

"At Last I Am Free" Elizabeth Fraser _Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before..._

the secret of KBOO revealed at last Curt calls in

"Waking Up At Last" Damien Youth _Happy_

"At Last" The Dø _A Mouthful_

"My Life At Last" Picture Center _Our True Intent Is All For Your Delight_

"Alive At Last" William The Conqueror _Maverick Thinker_

"Seeing The Real You At Last" Bettye LaVette _Things Have Changed_

conclusion & goodbye

"At Last, At Last" Xiu Xiu _Forget_

"At Last" Leslies _Leslies_

"At Last" Brown Recluse _Evening Tapestry_

"Happy Lovers At Last United" Morrissey _Bona Drag_

"Alone At Last" Ooberman _Running Girl_

Whither At Last?

(image from here)

Yes, it's another one of those shows. & while I've probably told this story before, I'll tell it again, & maybe I'll tell it differently from the last time, but the story is true.

Once upon a time I was on a mailing list, something social, but before Facebook. I think it sprang from a Usenet group. & I would send to this group tho no one listened to my show the weekend playlist & download link, much like I do on this blog. & because it was a mailing list, occasionally someone would respond.

Usually theme-based shows stick with nouns - people, places, & things - but I had started to do what I am doing now, having the theme be a phrase. Maybe once or twice no one noticed, but after a third time, one of the people on the mailing list - someone I didn't really know - responded by saying, "Do you think Gary has finally lost it?"

At least that's how I remember it. It isn't the first time someone thought it was about time I'd lost my mind. I only now wish I could find that old email & discover that they had written, "Has Gary gone mad at last?"

This show is happening because I heard a bunch of songs using the phrase "at last." That's all. A few of them were the song in the image above. But I'll probably play Etta James' version.

That's happening tonight, midnight to 2am, on 90.7 fm in Portland, at kboo dot fm everywhere. Maybe you will at last listen?

Preface To At Last: Super Villains

(image found here)

Yes, the theme of the show this week is "at last."

When I think about that phrase, I think about it with an exclamation point, maybe uttered by a super villain - like Dr. Doom above - "I have you at last!" or "I have claimed victory at last!" I blame Stan Lee for my love of such overdramatic writing.

But I have a confession to make - I altered the image above to end with "at last!" If you look close enough, you can see the sloppy photoshop job. I didn't have the time to search through many comics to find the one time Dr. Doom used the phrase "At last!" in a way that would suit me. But it doesn't seem that awkward, right? It fits perfectly with Stan Lee's turgid prose up there, yeah?

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: 1925 (Part I)

(image from here)

Tomorrow - Sunday, July 27 - is the first of two-part Dickenbock Report special report about the year 1925. We'll talk about the music & events of one hundred years ago. & no, it's not the year Dick Dickenbock was born! He's not that old. Not quite that old, anyway.

Sunday from 12-1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere. Hey! That's something that's changed - they only had radio in 1925, not web sites! But also not FM radio. That was a teaser for the show.

This Week In Self Help: July 18 20 +22

This was the previous week that was that week on the radio with me:

Friday the 18th of July I was on the Songcircle on KBOO & I played lots of new releases.
You can listen to it:
on the KBOO website | on the Self Help Radio website.

Sunday the 20th of July I was on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY on National Ice Cream.
& my friend Jennifer from Austin hung out with me!
You can listen to it:
on the XRAY website | on the Self Help Radio website.

Tuesday the 22nd of July I was on Self Help Radio on KBOO & the theme was jigsaw.
You can listen to it:
on the KBOO website | on the Self Help Radio website.

Also on Tuesday the 22nd of July I was on Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO.

I played music from artists who died in January & February of this year.

It's included with the Self Help Radio file on the KBOO website but you can also listen to it:

on the Self Help Radio website.

(Please note: to listen to files on the Self Help Radio website, you'll need a username & password, & those are SHR & selfhelp.)

Self Help Radio 072225: Jigsaw

(jigsaw outline found here)

It's no puzzle - the theme this week is jigsaw. & to be honest, it wasn't that hard to put together. Maybe if there had been ten thousand songs - & all the corner pieces looked the same.

Okay I'm done with the puns & stuff related to jigsaw. Look I even made a Self Help Radio jigsaw puzzle! Let's just say you can listen now & any time at the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio web page. If you find you need a username & password, try SHR & self help. Otherwise, everything you need to know is below.

Good luck solving this!

Self Help Radio Jigsaw Show

"My Heart Is A Jigsaw Puzzle" Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys _Hank Thompson & His Brazos Valley Boys_

"Jigsaw Puzzle Heart" Sonny Howard with The Rampart Street Boys _Jigsaw Puzzle Heart_

"Jigsaw Puzzle" The Chelmars _Tip Top Chicks At The Hop_

introduction & definitions feat. the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"Jigsaw Puzzle" C. L. Weldon & The Pictures _Teen Town U.S.A. Volume 9_

"Jigsaw" Norman Greenbaum _Spirit In The Sky: The Best Of Norman Greenbaum_

"Jigsaw Puzzle" The Rolling Stones _Beggars Banquet_

"Jigsaw" Pauline Filby _Show Me A Rainbow_

"Jigsaw Puzzle Of Life" Kate & Anna McGarrigle _Kate & Anna McGarrigle_

interview with puzzle maker Stella Owens

"Jigsaw Feeling" Siouxsie & The Banshees _The Scream_

"Jigsaw Youth" Bikini Kill _The C.D. Version Of The First Two Records_

"Jigsaw" Love Spit Love _Love Spit Love_

"Jigsaw Man" Clinic _Visitations_

"Jigsaw" Latimer House _Hey!_

interview with author Gordon Stockwell

"Girl In A Jigsaw Puzzle" Katydids _Katydids_

"Jigsaw Girl" Michael Shelley _Too Many Movies_

"Jigsaw Heart" Elliott Brood _Work & Love_

"Jigsaw" Rufus with Chaka Khan _Camouflage_

"Jigsaw" Ella Thompson _Ripple On The Wing_

interview with fighting robot controller Terry Wicks

"Jigsaw" Billy Kelly & The Blah Blah Blahs _Again!!!_

"Jigsaw" Sekiden _Junior Fiction_

"Jigsaw" Mates Of State _Re-Arrange Us_

"Jigsaw" Femme Fatale _Femme Fatale_

"The Boy With The Jigsaw Puzzle Fingers" Karl Hyde _Edgeland_

conclusion & goodbye

"Jigsaw Puzzle" Of Montreal _Jigsaw Puzzle_

"Jigsaw Baby" Elkie Brooks _Rich Man's Woman_

"Jigsaw Mind" Bronco Bullfrog _Seventhirtyeight_

"Jigsaw You" Deus _Worst Case Scenario_

Whither Jigsaw?

The theme of this week's show is "jigsaw" & there are far more songs about jigsaw puzzles than actual jigsaws. But I like just saying "jigsaw" to mean the puzzle so I went with the single word as the theme.

The idea for the show came from a listener, who said, "I have something I want to do for the show if you'll let me." So I said sure, found the songs, & scheduled the show. & then I never heard from that listener again. I thought the listener might contact me once I said, "I'll be doing a show with the theme 'jigsaw' next week," but nope! Which is fine. I'll do any theme you request - which I can find songs for - you don't have to prepare something for the show. But I admit I was curious!

Put the jigsaw show together with me tonight from midnight to 2am on 90.7 fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo dot fm. Yeah, we'll start with the corners.

Preface To Jigsaw: Jigsaw Humor

A cartoon by John Atkinson. From pandemic times. Visit his website to read more funnies!

Yeah, the theme this week is "jigsaw." But it'll be more about the puzzles than the device that helps make the puzzles.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: A Special Guest

The Dickenbock Report is a well-researched, meticulously-planned, highly-disciplined radio news magazine. Not much is left to chance & we must conform to Dick Dickenbock's strong journalistic standards. That being said, Dick Dickenbock has invited a guest reporter on tomorrow's show & the staff have been told virtually nothing about it. It's probably an old drinking buddy of Dick Dickenbock's & the one thing is certain - it's not Dan Rather. Those two hate each other.

Tune in tomorrow from noon to 1pm on XRAY for a special mystery report on The Dickenbock Report.

That's Sunday afternoon on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online at xray dot fm.

This Week In Self Help: July 11 13 + 15

Another image of the marquee which just so happened to mention this week's Self Help Radio theme. Here's what I did this past week.

Friday the 11th - one week ago! - I subbed a show on KBOO & played lots of songs about Friday, since it was, you know, Friday. KBOO doesn't archive its sub shows but you can listen at the Self Help Radio web page. If you just wanna look at the playlist, here's the Spinitron page.

The Dickenbock Report played lots of songs about Delaware on National Delaware Day. Listen at the XRAY web page, or at the Self Help Radio web page.

Self Help Radio on KBOO had the theme "good enough." Listen at the KBOO web page, or at the Self Help Radio web page.

Finally - Corporate Standardized Programming this week featured an hour's worth of new releases. It's the last hour of the file at the KBOO web page link above, or you can listen to it alone at the Self Help Radio web page.

As always, when listening at the Self Help Radio web page, you might need a username & a password. Use SHR & selfhelp.

& really I do hope this was all good enough.

Self Help Radio 071525: Good Enough

That's a bar in my hood - I think its official name is the Old Gilbert Road Tavern - there's no indication at that anywhere on the bar, just this sign outside & a sign that says "BAR" - anyway on the marquee that should be for bands playing there, except bands don't play there (as far as I can tell), they put snarky things up - lots of times quotes from The Simpsons - & a couple weeks ago I saw this. I had already planned a show with the theme "good enough" when this magically appeared. I took the picture above yesterday!

It was a lonesome show - just me & lots of music. So there's not much else to say. I did try not to say this phrase over & over: "Self Help Radio is not usually a good radio show, but at least tonight it's good enough." But I wanted to!

Listen to a good enough episode of Self Help Radio at either the KBOO web site or at the Self Help Radio website. The latter may need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp). It's mostly music so I can just share with you the playlist below. I hope that's good enough.

Self Help Radio Good Enough Show

"Good Enough" Bobby Guy _Gangster Of Love: The Apt Records Story 1958-1962_

"Good Enough" Bonnie Raitt _Home Plate_

"Good Enough" Mudhoney _Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge_

"Good Enough For Granddad" Squirrel Nut Zippers _The Inevitable_

"Our Love Is Good Enough" A House _The Way We Were: The Best Of A House 04.85-02.97_

"You're Good Enough For Me" Spyder Turner _Golden Classics_

"You're Good Enough For Me" The Versatiles _The Complete Soul City/Bell Singles 1966-1975_

"Good Enough" The Vines _Wicked Nature_

"Good Enough For You" The Bevis Frond _What Did For The Dinosaurs_

"Ain't No Good (But It's Good Enough For Me)" Sister Cookie _In The Blue Corner_

"Almost Was Good Enough" Songs: Ohia _The Magnolia Electric Co._

"Boris Good-Enough" Julian Cope _England Expectorates_

"Not Good Enough" Chain & The Gang _Music's Not For Everyone_

"Ain't My Stuff Good Enough" Martha Reeves & The Vandellas _Spellbound: Motown Lost & Found (1962-1972)_

"Ain't Good Enough For You" The Everymen _Givin' Up On Free Jazz_

"Good Enough" Fred Eaglesmith _Drive-in Movie_

"It's Not Good Enough" Barry Moore _Treaty Stone_

"My Best Was Never Good Enough" Bruce Springsteen _The Ghost Of Tom Joad_

"That'll Be Good Enough For Me" Mitty Collier _Shades Of Mitty Collier: The Chess Singles 1961-1968_

"Never Good Enough" Theoretical Girl _Divided_

"Good Enough For You" The Exbats _Kicks, Hits, & Fits_

"Good Enough" Peter Astor _Spilt Milk_

"Good Enough" Holly Golightly _Laugh It All Up!_

"Good Enough" Rocket 3 _Burn_

"I'm Good Enough" Thee Headcoats _In Tweed We Trust_

"Good Enough" Dodgy _Free Peace Sweet_

"Good Enough, Pt. 1" Noiseshaper _King Size Dub Special_

"It's Good Enough For Daddy" Clarence Reid _Running Water_

"Good Enough" Stone Jack Jones _Ancestor_

"Good Enough" Jim Lindberg _Songs From The Elkhorn Trail_

"Good Enough For Now" Weird Al Yankovic _Polka Party!_

"It Ain't Good Enough" Dow Jones & The Industrials _Hoosier Hysteria_

Whither Good Enough?

(graphic from - & explained - here)

When I first decided - it's been well over a decade now, maybe a decade & a half - to start a blog to explain why exactly I chose the themes I covered for the show - & believe me, some people really want an explanation as to why this is the theme right now - I honestly thought it would be more interesting than it has become. Because - sorry to bore you - but mostly the themes come at me randomly because of music I am listening to. Or so it seems.

Sometimes I pretend it's serendipity, or "the universe talking to me," but really it's kind of lazy. "Oh hey, several songs I've recently listened to mention the phrase good enough! I wonder if there's enough for a radio show!" One reason I think some people prefer The Dickenbock Report is because its themes are because there's a national day for it, or it's some artist's birthday, things like that. It makes sense sort of. It's not arbitrary. A Self Help Radio episode with the theme "good enough" is happening because - I thought it might be a good theme & I found enough songs. That's not exciting or interesting in any way.

How will it turn out? You will need to listen. Tonight! Midnight to 2am. On 90.7fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo dot fm. Like most of my shows it might not be all that good, but for tonight at least it'll be good enough.

Preface To Good Enough: How Good Is Enough

(image from here)

In 1986, in my first year of college, I took an Introduction To Philosophy course. I thought I was supposed to be interested in philosophy, but found it hard to read the texts & - though I didn't want to admit it - realized my mind was mostly bored but otherwise confused by philosophy as it was taught. What I remember most about the class was sitting next to a cute woman with whom I talked about the Smiths - who were my obsession at the time - & who, after I made her a Smiths tape, offered to give me a book she had made - with her boyfriend - which consisted of a bunch of images from pornographic magazines - mainly close-ups of genitals - as a thank you. I'm not sure what sort of reaction she expected from me, but I was a bit horrified. I gave her the book back & said I wasn't interested in it.

How I wish I knew the name of the professor of that class so I could tell him - it was a man, an exhausted but smug man - that I remember nothing about his class except that strange interaction with a lovely punk rock girl. I should also tell you, she & her boyfriend made me a tape of American punk from the mid-1980s & I discovered I didn't enjoy that as much as British punk from the late 1970s.

This is just to say that early on in my life I wearied of questions like "Is this good enough?" or "Am I good enough?" Which is to say, questions one asks in philosophy classes. I know too many people who really, really, really, really want to finish sentences like, "Good is..." or "Enough is..." They would love to dispense wisdom in the same way they see/hear/read it dispensed in books, from religious texts to opinion pieces. As I get older - & I know this makes me absolutely irrelevant in our culture - I refuse to express my opinions as absolutes. I am certainly not a relativist but I find it tiring that everyone not only needs to have an opinion about everything but that they need that opinion to be right. Correct. True.

Here's an example from someone who doesn't talk to me anymore. I posted something on the Facebook by a current comedian. This former friend responded, "That person isn't as funny as he thinks he is."

Imagine the inflated ego of someone who would write that! Not - "I don't think that person is funny" - but reaching out to judge the humor of someone they really don't know.

Must I add that the person whose comedy I posted on Facebook is successful, does stand-up, has a podcast, is well-known, while my former friend is... someone you'll never hear anything from?

You might surmise I titled this post "How good is enough" as a reason to stumble through this clumsy explication of my lack of interest in being someone who speaks "truths." It's not. I titled it before I knew what I would write. I sometimes wish I could be the critic that writes snarky shit as if it were fact. That stuff amuses me greatly, even when - especially when - I disagree with it.

But I confess I feel sad for those folks who think they know the Truth. If you follow them long enough, read what they write, you realize they themselves find their own idea of Truth malleable. Not that they're hypocrites - just that they don't realize their opinions are just opinions. They want them to be facts so they act like they're facts. But they're not facts, so they end up as slightly puffed-up opinions.

Which is probably a disservice. The average opinion is just glad to be heard, it doesn't need to be turned into a Holy Fact.

Oh shit look what I did that. I turned my (obviously dumb) opinion into a fact. Fuck me. I want to tell you this has something to do with this week's show but - nope!

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Delaware Day

(image from here)

Wow, is that the state flag of Delaware? Growing up in Texas, whose flag is simple & dynamic & has no writing on it at all, I am struck by the inclusion of the date/year. Who puts dates on a flag?

It turns out ten other states do! Illinois, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, Oregon, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, & Missouri all have some date or year on their flags - with the latter (Missouri) having the year in Roman numerals.

Yeah, yeah, I've lived in Oregon for six years & didn't know it had a year on it. I am just used to the elegant simplicity of the Texas flag. Although have you seen Alaska's flag? That's a beauty!

What is this post about? Oh yeah, tomorrow, Sunday, July 13, is National Delaware Day. We'll talk about & play musical reports about that state on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM. That's 12-1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, online at xray dot fm.

It will be difficult but we'll try not to disrespect their awful flag.

This Week In Self Help: July 6 8 + 9

(found here)

This was the week I had:

July 6 on The Dickenbock Report it was Build A Scarecrow Day.
Listen at XRAY. Listen at Self Help Radio.

July 8 on Self Help Radio it was a show about Emergency!
Listen at KBOO. Listen at Self Help Radio.

July 8 on Corporate Standardized Programming I played artists who died in January 2025.

Listen at KBOO (it's with Self Help Radio). Listen at Self Help Radio.

July 9 I subbed a show on KBOO playing interesting sounds late at night.

KBOO doesn't archive its sub show but. Listen at Self Help Radio.

Username is SHR & password is selfhelp if you need it.
I'll put the playlist for the sub show up on the website next week.

Self Help Radio 070825: Emergency!

Boy this episode was almost a real emergency! I came into the KBOO studios to find an unannounced mini-rave happening, & at some point there was a skipping song, & the whole thing felt fraught & unstable. There had also been issues before - a recording with a collaborator had such terrible sound quality I couldn't use it - that suggested that the theme might come to life & eat the show whole, & thankfully I'm not too superstitious or else I would decide never to do themes like this again!

Hopefully it doesn't sound too much like a disaster. We know at this point no one's coming to help, so it's best we be careful. I just don't remember things going this badly when I did the accident show!

You can listen now or when you feel safe at both the KBOO web page & the Self Help Radio web page. At the latter you might need a username & password, I would use SHR & selfhelp. Everything that happened is below. Be careful out there!

Self Help Radio Emergency Show

"Emergency!" Nelson Riddle _Television's Greatest Hits Volume 5: In Living Color_

"Emergency 999" The Alan Bown Set _Ain't Nothing But A House Party (60s & Early 70s Club Soul Classics)_

"Emergency" Ed Wahonka _Wahonka_

"The Emergency" Gileah & The Ghost Train _Gileah & The Ghost Train_

introduction & definitions

"Emergency" The Sweet Inspirations _Estelle, Myrna, & Sylvia_

"Civil Defense Spot: In Time Of Emergency (Basic Supplies)" Unknown _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age Of Homeland Security_

"Emergency" 999 _999_

"State Of Emergency" Stiff Little Fingers _Inflammable Material_

"Emergency Cases" The Undertones _True Confessions (Singles=A's+B's)_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by

"Emergency" Shack _Zilch_ (Ghetto, 1988)

"Emergency" The Go-Betweens _G Stands For Go-Betweens: The Go-Betweens Anthology Volume 3_

"Emergency" The Pooh Sticks _Tonight - Single_

"Emergency" Edith Frost _It's A Game_

"Civil Defense Spot: In Time Of Emergency (Brilliant Nuclear Flash)" Unknown _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age Of Homeland Security_

"Occident & Emergency" DJ DisOrientalist _Peace Not War_

interview with Emergency! Fan Club founder Todd Mantooth

"This Is Our Emergency" Pretty Girls Make Graves _The New Romance_

"Emergency" Summer Cannibals _No Makeup_

"Emergency & Me" Speedy Ortiz _Rabbit Rabbit_

"Emergency" Deep Sea Diver _Billboard Heart_

"Civil Defense Spot: In Time Of Emergency (Not Contagious)" Unknown _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age Of Homeland Security_

"Accident & Emergency" Lucy Wainwright Roche _Lucy_

interview with ER worker Natalie Dunlap

"Emergency" Oblivians _Popular Favorites_

"Emergency" Dirt Bike Annie _Show Us Your Demons_

"This Is An Emergency" The Pigeon Detectives _Emergency_

"Civil Defense Spot: In Time Of Emergency (Take Notice Of Fallout Shelter Signs)" Unknown _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age Of Homeland Security_

"Slow Emergency" Gold Motel _Gold Motel_

"Emergency Telephone" Billy Nomates _Emergency Telephone EP_

conclusion & goodbye

"Emergency Call" Judy Mowatt _Tighten Up! Trojan Reggae Classics 1968-1974_

"Emergency Exit" Tig Notaro _Boyish Girl Interrupted_

"The Emergency Exit Man" Spray _Ambiguous Poems About Death_

"The Emergency Kisses" Stereolab _Cobra & Phases Group Play Voltage In The Milky Night_

Whither Emergency?

One might ask, why would one do a radio show at this time with the theme "emergency"? & one might respond to the one asking, "Are you perchance living outside of the United States Of America in the year 2025?" & probably the one asking would respond, "Why yes! How did you know?" & one would almost certainly say, "Because were you living in the United States Of America in the year 2025, you would say with all honesty, that every day feels like an emergency."

Although that might make one think that a show about emergency in the middle of an emergency could be seen as masochistic or just dully redundant. & the one making the radio show might say in response, "Oh. I didn't think about that." & it would be too late to think of something else.

Self Help Radio's show with the theme "Emergency" airs tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am. That's on the air in Portland at 90.7fm & online everywhere at KBOO dot fm.

Preface To Emergency: That 1970s Television Show

(image from the IMDb)

Being a child of the 1970s, & growing up poor with a working mother, I watched a lot of television. I watched pretty much anything, although I preferred cartoon, sitcoms, sci-fi/fantasy shows, & cop shows. But I had a soft spot for the show Emergency!, which aired from 1972 - when I was four - till 1979, when I was eleven. Almost certainly I saw the bulk of it in reruns. I only just now discovered they made several television movies of the show, & will seek them out. But if you had to ask me my most indelible memory about the show - it was this one:

(screengrabbed from here)

It's not that I didn't love the character of John Gage - I totally did - but I really, really, really loved the name "Randolph Mantooth." I have forgotten most of the plot lines & most of the characters (except Julie London as Nurse Dixie McCall) but I will never not be fascinated by the name Randolph Mantooth. It sounds like an exclamation, like something Perry White should say instead of "Great Caesar's Ghost!"

It holds a special meaning for me now because it was the sort of name that would crack my friend Russell up. He'd tell me he saw a movie on television the other night, & I would say, with excitement, "Did it star Randolph Mantooth?" It would always make him laugh.

Dang I wish I had time to watch some of these shows before the Self Help Radio Emergency show. At least you know I'll play the theme.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Build A Scarcrow Day

July 6 is Build A Scarecrow Day. Hm, looks like the person who built the scarecrow above didn't know what to with it afterwards. That's one reason we'll be tackling this important news story tomorrow - it's one thing to build a scarecrow, it's another thing to use it properly once it's built. Or maybe we'll just play lots of songs about scarecrows.

Find out by tuning in tomorrow, Sunday, July 6, from noon to 1pm on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland & online everywhere at xray dot fm. At the very least we'll be demonstrating how to build a scarecrow that looks exactly like Dick Dickenbock.

This Week In Self Help: June 29 + July 1

(image from here)

Just one of those weeks where I only do my regularly scheduled shows.

The Dickenbock Report got muddy because it was International Mud Day.
Listen to the show on the XRAY website.
Listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website.

Self Help Radio had a show about clover.

Listen to the show on the KBOO website.

Listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website.

There were so many songs about clover I just played them on Corporate Standardized Programming.
Which is part of the KBOO file above.

But if you'd like to listen to it alone:
Listen to the show on the Self Help Radio website.

On the Self Help Radio website you might need a username & a password.
Try SHR & selfhelp respectively.

Fireworks are noisy all around, my dog Pauline doesn't like it so I'm going to go cuddle with her now.

Self Help Radio 070125: Clover

The month of July begins with a radio show about clover. & not just any old show - there are three hours of songs about clover on this show. Plus information! How could there be this much information about clover? I don't think I really even thought about clover before this show! If that's your situation, prepare to be surprised - but probably not surprised at the number of times you'll hear "clover" rhymed with "over." Between you & me I suspect that that's a contributing factor to singing about clover. If you're a singer who wants to rhyme.

Clover fans are in clover with this show! It's now at the KBOO website & also at the Self Help Radio website. At that website you may need the username SHR & the password selfhelp. I put the list of songs I played below.

You're lucky because KBOO is like a four leaf clover!

Self Help Radio Clover Show

"I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover" Joni James _Put On A Happy Face_

"I Found A Four-Leaf Clover" Al Miller _Complete Works In Chronological Order (1927-36)_

"Clover Blossoms" Riley Puckett _Old Time Greats, Volume 1_

"Burr Clover Blues" Muddy Waters _The Chronological Muddy Waters 1941-1947_ 

"Visit To A Four-Leaf Clover Farm" Bob & Ray _Classic Bob & Ray, Volume One - Selections From A Career: 1946-1976_

"Four Leaf Clover Blues" Bill Haley & Four Aces Of Western Swing _From Western Swing To Rock_

"Four Leaf Clover" Don Crawford _Teen-Age Dreams (Vol. 22)_

"Clover In The Meadow" Shirley Jones _Then & Now_

"Doctor In Clover" Kiki Dee _I'm Kiki Dee: The Fontana Years 1963-1968_

"Crimson & Clover" Tommy James & The Shondells _Crimson & Clover_

"Fields Of Clover" The Box Tops _Cry Like A Baby_

"The Proper Four Leaf Clover" Every Mothers' Son _Every Mothers' Son's Back_

"Michael Clover" The New Yorkers _Land Of Ur_

"Rollin' In The Clover" Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution _Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution_

"Spinning Coins & Wishing On Clovers" Sonic Boom _All Things Being Equal_

"Knee Deep In Clover" Peggy Scott & Jo Jo Benson _Lover's Heaven_

"Clover" Earth Wind & Fire _Head To The Sky_

"Four Leaf Clover" Blue Magic _Message From The Magic_

"Touch A Four Leaf Clover" Atlantic Starr _Yours Forever_

"Clover" Gospel Machine _Your Holy Ghost_

"Foaie Verde, Foaie Trifoi (Green Leaf, Clover Leaf)" Taraf De Haïdouks _Band Of Gypsies_

"Clover" Tall Dwarfs _Louis Likes His Daily Dip_

"Four Leaf Clover" Mighty Mighty _The Girlie Years_

"Clover Over Dover" Blur _Parklife_

"Clover Valley Road" Holiday Flyer _You Make Us Go_

"Finding Clovers" The High Water Marks _Polar_

"In Clover" The Wonder Stuff _30 Goes Around The Sun_

"Clover Paradise" La Femme _Rock Machine_

"Four Leaf Clover" Peel Dream Magazine _Rose Main Reading Room_

Whither Clover?

You must know that my show ideas come from the dumbest places. Not just the dumbest themes. Although I guess it's up to you if you want to think a theme is dumb.

Tonight's theme is clover. It was suggested to me by my backyard. Which is apparently full of clover. Not that I had noticed it. But my wife was complaining about it a few weeks ago. She said, "We hardly have any grass at all back here! It's all clover!" Truly I hadn't really looked. I said, "Where?" She said, "It's all over!" I took a picture.

Naturally I thought, "Would clover make a good theme for a radio show?" Because I am always thinking that. & I think it will be a good theme. It might also be a dumb theme.

Tonight! The first radio show in the first hours of July! Midnight to 2am. On 90.7 in Portland. Online everywhere at kboo dot fm. A radio show in clover.

Preface To Clover: The First Time I Ever Thought About Clover

(Red clover - image from here)

It may seem strange to be so certain - memories being what they are - but though I have nothing to support this but my own general sense of feeling & self - I think I can safely say the first time I heard or considered the idea of "clover" - & this would be as a plant with magical powers, because why else as a child would I think about it otherwise - happened in a Bugs Bunny short where he sang the song "I'm Looking Over A Four Leaf Clover."

But you know how it is. You do a fucking search & you discover that Warner Brothers used that song all the fucking time. Cue playlist.

It was such a prevalent thing that for a time I believed a four-leaf clover would be something I hoped to find. I spent a childhood looking for magical things. I can confidently say I never found a four-leaf clover.

My dumb childhood is not the reason for this week's show. I'll tell you about that tomorrow.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: International Mud Day

(image from here)

June 29 is International Mud Day. Mud being one subject almost all nations can agree on. Yes, there's mud. Sometimes lots of mud. Sometimes not so much. But there is in fact mud.

We report on mud tomorrow, Sunday, June 29, on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY FM. From noon to 1pm on 91.1 & 107.1fm in Portland, online at xray dot fm.

Apologies if we track muddy radio all through your house.

This Week In Self Help: June 20 22 + 24

(image from the IMDb)

It may come as a surprise that I make radio shows since no one has ever listened to the ones I've made but I present evidence that supports my assertion that I actually do. This is what I did the previous seven days:

Friday the 20th on The Songcircle on KBOO, I played lots of new releases.

Here it is on the KBOO website. Here it is on the Self Help Radio website.

Sunday the 22nd on The Dickenbock Report on XRAY, I celebrated Kris Kristofferson's birthday.

Here it is on the XRAY website. Here it is on the Self Help Radio website.

Tuesday the 24th on Self Help Radio on KBOO, I played songs & talked about black holes.

Here it is on the KBOO website. Here it is on the Self Help Radio website.

Also Tuesday the 24th but on Corporate Standardized Programming, I played lots of new releases.
It's on the KBOO file above. If you'd like to listen to it alone, here it is on the Self Help Radio website.

If needed, to access files on the Self Help Radio website, the username is SHR & the password is selfhelp.

To answer a question you probably didn't ask, no, I didn't watch The Black Hole before I made this show. I saw it I believe in the theaters back when I was 11. I fell asleep during the film.

Self Help Radio 062425: Black Holes

(original image here*)

We made it into outer space! Or at least our radio waves did. & probably they'll be sucked into a black hole eventually.

Lots of songs & lots of silly interviews & maybe even some knowledge dropped although I wouldn't hold my breath. The regular sort of Self Help Radio nonsense, you understand.

You can listen now at the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio web page. At the latter you may need a username & password - try SHR & selfhelp. Almost everything that happened on the show is below - some of it almost certainly disappeared into a black hole.

Self Help Radio Black Holes Show

"Ghosts Of The Black Hole" Bearsuit _The Phantom Forest_

"Black Hole" Bishop Allen _Lights Out_

"The Black Hole Understands" Cloud Nothings _The Black Hole Understands_

introduction & definitions

"Black Hole" The Gun Club _In Exile_

"Black Hole" Be Your Own Pet _Get Damaged_

"Black Hole Love" Urusei Yatsura _We Are Urusei Yatsura_

"Blackholes & Brokenhearts" Drugstore _Anatomy_

"Black Hole" James _Stutter_

interview with physicist Dr Phil Scolly

"Black Hole Sun" Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme _Lounge-A-Palooza_

"Black Hole Baby" Superorganism _World Wide Pop_

"That Old Black Hole" Dr. Dog _Be The Void_

"Black Hole, Weirdo Shrine" La Luz _Weirdo Shrine_

"The Black Hole Tube" Negativland _Happy Heroes_

interview with astronaut Major Josh Hendricks

"Big Black Hole" The Oblivians _Soul Food_

"Big Bangs, Black Holes, Meteorites" Love Is All _A Hundred Things Keep Me Up At Night_

"Black Holes" Dirty Sidewalks _Bring Down The House Lights_

"Black Hole" The Rosebuds _Life Like_

"Little Black Holes" Elf Power _Elf Power_

interview with musician Bret Oster

"Black Hole Era" Kisskadee _Black Hole Era_

"Black Holes In Stereo" King Tuff _Black Moon Spell_

"Black Holes" Bob & Doug McKenzie _Great White North_

"Black Hole" Love Tractor _Black Hole_

"Black Hole, Son" Field Mouse _Meaning_

conclusion & goodbye

"Big Black Hole" Malcolm Middleton _Summer Of '13_

"Black Holes Of Negativity Part 3 (Saying No)" The Get Right Band _iTopia_

* Licensed under the Attribution 2.0 Generic License

Whither Black Holes?

(image from NASA)

If it isn't already obvious, I'm a science fiction nerd. Not all science fiction nerds are Star Trek nerds, but my Venn diagram shows definite overlap there. I am not a big enough Star Trek nerd that I watch Star Trek all the time - it's been a while since I've watched an entire episode I've seen before - but I do occasionally, usually when I am cooking, watch fellow nerds on YouTube review Star Trek episodes. & recently after one ended, there was a video about Deep Space Nine that showed its introduction.

If you haven't seen Deep Space Nine, well, I recommend it - it's my favorite Star Trek series. It's about a space station near a stable wormhole. & I know what you're thinking Gary! A black hole isn't a wormhole! I understand that. But I got to looking for songs about black holes anyway & then... tonight's show started to take shape.

There were far more songs about black holes - some of them about literal holes, not astronomical ones - than about wormholes.

That's what's happening tonight on Self Help Radio on KBOO. Midnight to 2am on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo dot fm. I'll try to keep the nerdiness to a minimum but seriously no promises.

Preface To Black Holes: Carl Sagan

(image from here)

Click here to see an excerpt from Carl Sagan's Cosmos series where he talks about black holes. I'll excerpt this for tomorrow's show but won't be able to use the visuals, you know, because radio. I have no idea how the science has changed in the - gosh almost fifty years since he made the series - but it's always a joy to listen to him talk. Sigh.

Can I just play a couple hours of Cosmos instead of my dumb show this week? No? Too bad.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: Kris Kristofferson's Birthday

(image from Discogs)

Singer, songwriter, & actor Kris Kristofferson was born on June 22, 1936, in Brownsville, Texas. He left our world last year. We at the Dickenbock Report would like to spend what would have been his 89th birthday listening to many of his songs as interpreted by artists who admired & were influenced by him. A little musical wisdom might be helpful in our perilous times.

That's Sunday, June 22, from noon to 1pm, on XRAY FM - 91.1+107.1fm in town, xray dot fm everywhere.

This Week In Self Help: June 13 15 + 17

(image from the Wikipedia)

Here's what I've been doing the radio this past week.

On Friday the 13th (a week ago) I subbed an evening show on KBOO & played lots of new stuff. KBOO doesn't archive its fill-in shows but I put it over on the Self Help Radio website if you wanna listen.

On Sunday the 15th I was on the Dickenbock Report playing songs about prunes on National Prune Day. You can listen to it on the XRAY website or on the Self Help Radio website.

On Tuesday the 17th I played a lot more Howard Gently appearances on Self Help Radio. You can listen to that show on the KBOO website or on the Self Help Radio website.

Finally, the last hour of that show on the KBOO link above is an episode of Corporate Standardized Programming in which I played artists we lost in January of this year. You can also listen to that show on its own on the Self Help Radio website.

My usual note: if you're listening on the Self Help Radio website, you may need the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access the file. Sorry for the inconvenience. Have some prunes.

Self Help Radio 061725: Howard Gently Year Four Continued

Here it is, the ninth collection of appearances of Howard Gently on Self Help Radio. It takes place in the middle of 2017 & includes the one-hundredth appearance of Howard Gently on the show.

Howard Gently was performed by my dear friend Russell who died two years ago today. I have been playing his appearances in chronological order in shows about every three months. He was a very funny person & I miss him too much. But I am glad I have these recordings. Just so they're not all talk talk talk I play a song from the show - the songs & bits are based on the show's theme - before the interview. I tried to pick a song I knew Russ would like &/or one I thought he might like.

There's a need for an apology - I was very tired during this show so I am a little low energy. I'm also trying not to be too sad - which can be, as you probably know, exhausting.

Listen now or whenever you need a fake spiritual mentor at either the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio web page. You might need the username SHR & password selfhelp to access at the latter. What happens on the show is below.

If I were funny as Russell was I'd have a spiritual-sounding but incredibly silly word or phrase to end this post. I'm not, you know, so I don't.

Self Help Radio Howard Gently Year Four Continued Show

"Do The Oswald" Russell Miles _Do The Oswald_

"Question The Answer" Sheila Chandra _Nada Brahma_

Howard Gently on the theme "Questions"

"Closing Time" Leonard Cohen _The Future_

Howard Gently on the theme "Bars"

"Rise" Public Image Ltd. _Compact Disc_

Howard Gently on the theme "Rise"

"You Are In My Vision" Tubeway Army _Replicas_

Howard Gently on the theme "Visions"

"Venus" Television _Marquee Moon_

Howard Gently on the theme "Venus"

"Warning Sign" Talking Heads _More Songs About Buildings & Food_

Howard Gently on the theme "Warnings"

"Rubberband Girl" Kate Bush _The Red Shoes_

Howard Gently on the theme "Rubber (Sort Of Not Really)"

"The Pencil Broke (& That's All She Wrote)" Lionel Hampton & His Orchestra _The Lionel Hampton Story_

Howard Gently on the theme "Pencils"

"Crooked" Kristin Hersh _Crooked_

Howard Gently on the theme "Crooked"

"Only Seventeen" Beatle-Ettes _Girls With Guitars_

Howard Gently on the theme "Seventeen"

"Uncontrollable Urge" Devo _Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!_

Howard Gently on the theme "Control"

Howard Gently on the theme "Machines"

Whither Howard Gently Year Four Continued?

(a Howard Gently side-hustle?)

Tonight on Self Help Radio, I continue to play, in chronological order, improvised comedic bits made by my dear friend Russell. He played on the show my "spiritual mentor" the Reverend Doctor Howard Gently, a kind of new age huckster, & Russell found ever-more outlandish things for Dr. Gently to be involved in. It was a thrill to relive these appearances on the show - all from 2017 - & I hope you'll find them as funny & creative as I do.

That'll be tonight, from midnight to 2am, on 90.7fm in Portland & online everywhere at kboo dot fm. As Howard Gently often ended his interviews, I say in conclusion, "Blessed be."

Preface To Howard Gently Year Four Continued: Memorial Middle School

(image from here)

This week on the show I play more improvised funnies I made with my friend Russell, who died very unexpectedly two years ago. He portrayed my spiritual mentor the Rev Dr Howard Gently for many years starting in 2014. The recordings I'll share this week will be from 2017, the fourth year he appeared on the show.

We met at the place above. In or around 1981 I believe. It was then called Memorial Middle School. It's now called Memorial Pathway Academy. I really need to dig into my old yearbooks & scan better photos but this is all I got at the moment. Where you see the last letters of "academy" is the big gym. I suffered many phys ed classes in there. Did many awkward calisthenics. Russell was a year ahead of me so we never had to spend unpleasant times in p.e. together. He was a bit scrawny. I was a fat kid.

The first time I became aware of Russ was in a Beta Club meeting at the end of my sixth grade year. I guess he was in seventh grade. Beta Club was or is some kind of precursor to the National Honor Society. I watched him being funny & wanted to be his friend. At some Beta Club gathering at someone's house we found ourselves in a bedroom talking about the Beatles. It was the first time I had met someone my age as obsessed with the Beatles as I was.

One thing's for sure, I don't believe either of us believed we'd stay friends for decades. Russell had so many qualities I admired - he was funny, he was a musician, he was creative. I was kind of a blob, amorphous, unformed, seeking out things I liked but not really thinking I could be a part of those worlds. Russell formed a band & wrote songs. I kinda scribbled & drew comics but never really finished anything. So you may say I was in awe of him.

Sometimes I wonder what he would think of me replaying all his bits. I think he might say, "Maybe don't air that one again. It's not that good." He could be very self-critical. But then as now I knew what I'd like & I would plow ahead - "I think it's funny!" I'd say - & he'd let me do it. Okay it seems I know what he'd think. But also I know he'd let me do it if I thought it was funny.

This is how I give myself permission to share these recordings with you.

Coming Up Tomorrow On The Dickenbock Report: National Prune Day

(image from here)

June 15 is National Prune Day. Seeing as we at the Dickenbock Report root for the underdog, it's only natural we dedicate a show reporting on this mostly maligned fruit. Dried fruit. You know what we mean.

That's Sunday at noon, on 91.1+107.1fm in Portland, xray dot fm everywhere. A more regular episode you'll not hear.

This Week In Self Help: June 8 + 10

A quiet week for me with just the regular shows. Which were:

A Dickenbock Report episode on Name Your Poison Day in which all the songs were called "Poison."
Here is the show on XRAY.
Here is the show on the Self Help Radio website.

A Self Help Radio episode about beards.
Here is the show on KBOO.

Here is the show on the Self Help Radio website.

A Corporate Standardized Programming episode with all new releases.

It's on the KBOO file linked above but if you wanna hear it all by itself:
Here is the show on the Self Help Radio website.

Remember, if you listen on the Self Help Radio website, you may be asked for a username & password. Those would be SHR & selfhelp respectively.

Personally I think I would be too nervous & a little embarrassed to have someone shape my beard. But as my wife might say, "That sounds like a personal problem."

Self Help Radio 061025: Beards

It's weird, the beard is so ubiquitous that I was shocked to learn - thanks to this Wikipedia page - that only five American Presidents have sported one while in office - not counting a two-week goatee Harry Truman wore after the 1948 election. I find that strange because we must all know more than five people who have beards - not counting ourselves. Thinking about it, there are at least people on my street that have beards!

Here then is a celebration of the beard - not because I have one - it's not out of pride I wear a beard, it's mostly out of laziness - but because I do think beards are just great. I highly recommend them. & these days, if it makes you seem less presidential - friend, that's a good thing.

You can listen while stroking you beard at both the KBOO website & also the Self Help Radio website. For the latter, if needed, use SHR as a username, & selfhelp as a password. Most everything that happened on the show is listed below.

As for me - ugh - I might need a trim.

Self Help Radio Beard Show

"Growin' A Beard" Ben Vaughn _Dressed In Black_

"Let's Grow Beards" Professor Banjo _PB & Jam_

"An Ode To My Facial Hair" Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. _Making Friends At 40_

introduction, definitions, & historu

"The Man With The Weird Beard" Arthur Godfrey With The Too Fat Trio _Heap Big Smoke_

"Goatee" Joey Warren _Sin Alley! Volume Four - Filthy, Sleazey 50s Trash!_

"Weird Beard" Cindy Malone _Wild Sounds From An Overheated Jukebox_

"Beard (Excerpt)" George Carlin _FM & AM_

"Beard Lust" Natalie Portman's Shaved Head _Glistening Pleasure_

"The Pros & Cons Of Having A Beard" Jam On Bread _A Railcard Adventure_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by with some books about beards

"Beard On A Bike" Bubblegum Lemonade _The Great Leap Backward_

"Curly Beard" The Telephone Company _Panda Brain!_

"Baby, I Grew You A Beard" Neil Halstead _Oh! Mighty Engine_

"Let It Beard" Boston Spaceships _Let It Beard_

"Captain BlackBeard Did What?" Shel Silverstein _A Light In The Attic_

"Beard & Moustache" Vagabond Opera _Sing For Your Lives_

interview with The Magnificent Clark, who reads beards

"Got Me A Beard" The Beards _Having A Beard Is The New Not Having A Beard_

"Walt Whitman's Beard" The Spent Poets _The Spent Poets_

"The Beard Song" The Bandettes _Take Me Home_

"This Grey Beard" Bobby Blackhat _Put On Your Red Shoes_

"Daddy's Beard" Adam Sandler _100% Fresh_

"Big Beards (feat. Ceschi)" Spoken Nerd _Our Team Is Going To Win_

interview with Sebastian, who helps men get beards

"Beard" The Strines _Dog.Ger.El_

"She's The Beard" Caleb Nichols _Ramon_

"Beard Salesman" Monty Python _Monty Python's Life Of Brian (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)_

"Eyebrows & Beards" Exuma _Do Wah Nanny_

"Weird Beard & Black Wolf" The Kingsbury Manx _Bronze Age_

"Bourbon Beard" Silkworm _Italian Platinum_

conclusion & goodbye

"Beginnings Of A Beard" The Island Of Misfit Toys _Bear Hair_ 

"Fern Beard" The Submarines _Honeysuckle Weeks_

"Maggots In My Beard" Teriyakis _Pre-Literate: Post-Necessary_

Whither Beards?

(it's my beard, yo)

Tonight's show is about beards. It occurred to me I had never done a show about beards despite sporting a beard for a good deal of my adult life. The main reason I have a beard is laziness. I hate shaving, I can't imagine shaving daily, & even when I did shave regularly, I never shaved daily. But there's another big reason for me to always be bearded: my wife doesn't like me clean-shaven. Laziness + pleasing the wife = a beard I need to remember to trim every few weeks.

But this summer my wife is going overseas for research & I thought, hey, I can shave my beard off for the first time in several years. Just to do it. To remind myself how funny-looking I am without it. To let my face breathe a little for a few days. & that made me think that beards would be a good theme for the show.

Now it shall come to pass. Self Help Radio's show about beards airs tonight on KBOO from midnight to 2am. That's on 90.7fm in Portland & everywhere at kboo dot fm.

You won't need a beard to enjoy it, but that might help.