The Gary Files # 2: Gary Hart

(I found this image on the dude's Wikipedia page.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the second of a series!

Gary Hart is, according to the Wikipedia, a "diplomat, politician, lawyer, author, professor, & commentator."  He was a senator from Colorado when I was in high school, & ran for President of the United States twice, most notably in 1987 & 1988 when I was in college.  He flamed out because he got caught cheating on his wife, which was headline news for much of that year.

When did you first become aware of him?  When he was running for president the second time, in 1987, especially because people talked about him being "Kennedy-esque."  I was born after the Kennedy administration, but his presence loomed large in politics then.  I must've known he was running for president in 1984, but I don't have any memory of that.

Did you support him?  I was going to support anyone who wasn't involved in the Reagan administration.  My god, when I hear how that awful man has been deified, I have to wonder if his admirers lived in a different 1980s than I did.

Did you ever see him speak while he was running for president?  I did, actually, after his campaign was basically over.  After the scandal broke, he had suspended his campaign for most of 1987, but returned at the end of the year.  I saw him sometime early in 1988, in a room in Burdine Hall, if I recall.

Were you on the news that night?  I was!  I didn't know about it till the next day, but apparently the local news videotaped me watching him speak.

How did you find out about it?  One of my professors told me about it the next day.  He said I looked "skeptical."

Did you ever see him/think about him/etc. after he lost the nomination?  He kinda disrespected the name Gary so I didn't really know or care about him.  He was stupid - stupid like John Edwards would later be - with his indiscretions, so, you know, he kinda go what he deserved in that regard.

Is his name really Gary?  Yes, Gary Warren Hartpence.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  I can't say for sure, but he was born in 1936, the year Gary Cooper starred in Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, so that doubtless played a big part.  Many Garys were named after Gary Cooper.

Do you know what he's doing now?  It says on the Wikipedia page that he's U.S. Special Envoy for Northern Ireland.

What's that?  Like an ambassador, but lesser?

Did you know he's written five novels?  Oh good lord.

Self Help Radio 092215: Shapes

(I probably could have made this myself, but instead I modified the image I found here.)

Shapes!  They come in all sizes &, er, shapes.  Shapes are shapely, there's no doubt about that.  Some shapes are in two dimensions.  Others in three.  The fourth dimension, I think, is time.  The fifth dimension did that song about letting the sun shine in.  Is the sixth dimension where warp drive is?  I have no idea where I'm going with this.  I was talking about shapes, right?  Shapes!  How they shape our lives!  (No pun intended.)  (What do you mean, of course pun was intended!)  (Sorry.)

The truth is, I wanted you to actually care about shapes for once in your life.  Not be worried about home invasion, or whether hair can grow on your tongue, but just care about something.  & shapes are very easy to care for because everything has a shape.  Except for those things which are shapeless, which you are allowed to not care about because why would you?  Oh god, can hair really grow on your tongue?  Why would you put that image in my head?

In any event.  In any case.  At any rate.  Anyway.  Terrible segue.  Awkward transition.  The show about shapes can be listened to anytime you're a-round (good grief) over at the Self Help Radio website.  Don't be a square (please stop)!  Make sure you notice there's a username & password requirement!  They're available on the page.  The songs I played I list below in case you don't want to be surprised.  Also, polygon.

Hooray, shapes!

"The Ballad Of The Shape Of Things To Come" Blossom Dearie _Needlepoint Magic_
"The Different Shapes They Are" Lou Carter _Louie's Love Songs_
"Shape" Breakfast In Fur _Flyaway Garden_

"Shape Of Things To Come" Max Frost & The Troopers _Shape Of Things To Come_
"Shapes Of Things" David Bowie _Pin Ups_
"Give Me Shapes" Grass Widow _Past Time_
"Odyshape" The Raincoats _Odyshape_

"Everything Around Us Has A Shape" Brian Dullaghan _Have Fun Learning_
"Colors & Shapes" Nobody's Children _Mayhem & Psychosis, Vol. 1_
"Colours & Shapes" Pale Saints _Mrs. Dolphin_
"Cut-Out Shapes" Magazine _Secondhand Daylight_

"Mis-Shapes" Pulp _Different Class_
"Last Shapes Of Never" Múm _Sing Along To Songs You Don't Know_

(part two)

"Four Sides In Three Shapes" Great Plains _Length Of Growth 1981-89_
"Heart-Shaped Box" The Vichy Government _Filthy Little Angels Singles Club_
"Pull Shapes" The Pipettes _We Are The Pipettes_

"Changing Shape" Milky Wimpshake _My Funny Social Crime_
"Shapeshifter" Elephant _Sky Swimming_
"Shape We Made" Peggy Sue _Fossils & Other Phantoms_
"Shapes Of Venus" Clone Defects _Shapes Of Venus_

"All Shapes" JDSY _Ghostly Swim_
"Forms & Shapes" Sascha Funke _Camping Complilation_
"Shapes To Escape" He Said _Hail_
"Chatter Shapes" The Moodists _Two-Fisted Art_

"Shapes For Sale" Eugene Mirman _The Absurd Nightclub Comedy Of Eugene Mirman_
"The Shapes Between Us Turn Into Animals" Robyn Hitchcock _Globe Of Frogs_
"The Shape Of Dolls" Able Tasmans _Songs From The Departure Lounge_

Whither Shapes?

(I found this image, where the circle isn't looking very circular, here.)

Can I tell you what not to expect from this week's show, which is about shapes?*  Don't expect individual songs about specific shapes, like squares, circles, nonagons, etc.** (I did a show about circles ten years ago, anyway.)  No, in typical infuriating OCD Gary fashion, this is a show about shapes in general.  Songs about shapes may reference specific shapes, but they should be talking about different kinds of shapes.  You'll see!

Also:*** I'm avoiding songs today about "shape" as used in the sense of "being in shape."  I might not play a lot of songs about "shaping" things, focusing instead on the noun form.  I most probably will not play songs with colloquial or idiomatic uses of the word, like "shape up!"  Instead, it'll be all about the shapely shapes like the ones above.****

Might you want to listen?  If so, it'll be on from 4 to 6 pm today on 88.1 fm in Lexington & all over the world in all shapes & sizes at wrfl dot fm the website.  I'll archive it later over at the show's website, but who knows what shape it'll be in at that point?  Better to listen to it when its edges are sharp & its color bright!*****

Hope you listen!

* I mean, besides not expecting it to be very good.
** So many damn songs about nonagons.
*** There's more?
**** Though I'll say it again, that's not a circle up there.
***** Kill me now.

Preface To Shapes: Different Shapes & Sizes Of Radios

This super-duper website (from where I nicked the pictures above) has cool photos of radios in all shapes & sizes.  Why do I bring it up?  Because this week's show is about shapes!  Certainly you can see that the shapes that Self Help Radio can mold itself into are endless!

More details about the show tomorrow - before it airs, of course.

A Trip To Fort Wayne

(Picture from the city's Wikipedia page.)

The wife & I drove to Fort Wayne, Indiana, yesterday, because that was the closest (so far) that Bill Maher has come to Kentucky recently.  Fort Wayne is about 250 miles from Lexington, but because there's not a major highway connecting the two cities, you have to spend some portion of the drive on highways which pass through small towns, which means stop lights, varying speed limits, & the occasionally horse & buggy.  We opted, on the way, there, to follow I-75 through Ohio most of the way, & arrived in about four & a half hours.

A friend at WRFL, who is from Indiana, told me the place was a "shithole."  My wife, who has not-very-fond memories of living in West Virginia, decided the place reminded her of Huntington.  (Huntington, however, is about an eighth smaller than Fort Wayne, & doesn't have anything resembling a skyline.)  I kept an open mind.  We were going to be there for less than a day; why have preconceived notions that color your short stay?

Complicating matters somewhat was that our youngest beagle, Pauline, who wants to be friends with everything, which means wanting to play with everything, which has resulted in the deaths of things too small to play with (birds, chipmunks) & sometimes mean reactions from things of the same size & even species who didn't want to playing with her (cats, unfriendly dogs), tried to make friends with a skunk on Friday night, which ended as you might expect, & though the wife did her best to de-stink her, we drove the long drive with a lingering skunky smell in the car.  A skunky smell will, in small doses, cause a skunky smell headache, which got to me a little as I drove the last leg there.

But!  Fort Wayne has an awesome vegan restaurant called Loving Cafe which was packed when we visited, & we know why: the food was great.  It broke my heart to think I might never visit there again - when will I find another reason to visit Fort Wayne?  It took nearly forty-eight years & the eccentricities of Bill Maher's schedule to bring me there in the first place!

The weather was chilly but good & though parking was a bitch, we got to the Embassy to see the man himself, & were sandwiched in-between two older couples who, I confess, I would've taken for more conservative on first glance.  (The city has a Democratic mayor, but its City Council & state representatives are overwhelmingly Republican.)  Maher himself joked that perhaps all the liberals in the city were there that night.  He was great, he talked/told jokes/was himself for ninety minutes, & we went back to the hotel, where our pups were waiting, & we were lucky the place let us open the window to the room, because it was a little skunky in there.  (Our apologies to the nice people who had to clean the place.)

After we woke this morning, we walked the dogs through Headwaters Park in the downtown area.  We went to a nice bakery for lunch & I begged the wife to let me drive the longer drive (by around an hour) through rural Indiana, basically running parallel to I-75 on the Indiana side, & driving through such notable small towns as Decatur, Berne, Portland, & Richmond, before stepping over into Ohio through Oxford, & finally down to Cincinnati to pick up good vegan pizza at a place called Mac's, & heading home.

When I lived in Austin, & had to visit the family in Dallas, I would often drive the longer drive through Texas east or west of I-35 just to see more (& also not to drive on dangerous I-35), but eventually I knew it would be faster to just risk my life on that eighteen-wheeler-clogged artery because I knew I'd get there in roughly three hours.  But you see so much of the world by taking a little bit of time - we did in fact see a horse & buggy on the road, as well as driving slowly through Levi Coffin Days in Richmond, & seeing a surprising number of Confederate flags flying from Indiana porches.  (They do know, don't they, which side Indiana fought on during that war?  Here's a hint: the winning side.)

Such a nice little trip we took.  I liked Fort Wayne.  I wish Lexington had a vegan or vegetarian restaurant.  Don't the city's daring restauranteurs know that anyone can eat vegan food?  My wife mentioned while we were at the Loving Cafe that we might be the only actual vegans eating there at that moment!  Let's hope Fort Wayne gives me another excuse one day to visit the town that - contrary to what my friend at RFL said - was a nice little urban area.

The Gary Files # 1: Gary Oldman

(I found this picture here.)

An explanation: Since the name Gary is going extinct, I thought it incumbent upon me to celebrate more notable Garys than myself.  This is the first of a series!

Gary Oldman is an English actor who's just ten years older than I am, & you read all about him here.  I'll ask myself questions & answer them about him.

When did you first see him?  When he starred in Sid & Nancy, which, even though I know the film is pretty fact-free, I still enjoy thanks to his performance.

Do you have a favorite performance of his?  I liked a lot of his early film performances, especially as Sid Vicious & Joe Orton.  I think he made a great Commissioner Gordon.

But you don't like all the villains he's played?  It's fun to watch him do over-the-top stuff, like in The Professional & Air Force One, but I always imagined he'd be less a box office star & more of a cinema artiste in the vein of Montgomery Clift.

Why do you think that eluded him?  It's arguable that it did, but if it did, maybe it's because he's not traditionally handsome.

He's not?  He's decent I suppose, but also kind of funny-looking.  That may be an asset, since he changes himself to get into roles - he kinda really looked like Lee Harvey Oswald in JFK.

Did you ever see Nil By Mouth, the only film (so far) he's written & directed?  No, it seemed pretty bleak.

Is his name really Gary?  Yes, Gary Leonard Oldman.

Do you know why he was named Gary?  I don't.  I think the name used to be more popular in the UK.  I once met a Scottish drummer whose name was Gary, although he said it in such a way that I didn't understand we had the same name for the first few seconds we talked.

Does it bother you that he might be a little right-wing leaning?  It doesn't, but it might not be true.  As this weird web page suggests, he's not really made his political views known.

Do you have anything else to say about Gary Oldman?  Not really, although one day (& soon), I think I'll be an Old Man Gary myself.

Self Help Radio 091515: Deserve

(Original image here.)

Do people get what they deserve?  Do you deserve happiness?  What did you do to deserve your fate?  Make no mistake, these questions, & related others, are not answered on this week's Self Help Radio. But we're hoping you give us credit for at least asking them.

So many things happened on this show!  I interviewed a fellow who is starting a new awards show, the Deservies!  I also interviewed a self-help (how appropriate) guru who has a personal enrichment program called "You Deserve It!"  Plus, my spiritual mentor, the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently called!  All this & the deserve-oriented songs you see listed below.  Maybe you do get what you deserve!  If, you know, my dumb radio show is what you deserve.

The show is now where you can listen to it any time at all at the Self Help Radio web site.  You know there's a username (SHR) & password (selfhelp) required to listen, right?  All right then!  Please enjoy.

Especially since you know I don't deserve you!

(part one)

"One Good Turn Deserves Another" Don Grady _One Good Turn Deserves Another_
"You Deserve What You Got" Eddie Holland _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 2: 1962_
"Deserve" The Wolfgang Press _The Legendary Wolfgang Press & Other Tall Stories_

"I Deserve It" Samantha Jones _Girls On 45: A Collection Of Girl Groups, Girlie Pop, & Soulful Ladies 1963-1968_
"You Deserve More Than A Maybe" St. Christopher _Air Balloon Road_
"Get What They Deserve" Close Lobsters _Forever Until Victory: The Singles Collection_
"You Don't Deserve Yourself" Andrew Jackson Jihad _Can't Maintain_

"So Little Deserve" Heavenly _So Little Deserve_
"She Don't Deserve You" The Honeybees _Growin' Up Too Fast: The Girl Group Anthology_
"Do I Deserve It Baby" Barbara Lewis _The Many Grooves Of Barbara Lewis_
"You Get What You Deserve" The Siddeleys _Slum Clearance_

"You Deserve" Peggy Lee _All Aglow Again!_
"What Have I Done To Deserve This" Pet Shop Boys feat. Dusty Springfield _Simply... Dusty_

(part two)

"I Don't Deserve It" Proto Idiot _Andrew Anderson_
"We Have Only What We Deserve" Billy Childish _Hunger At The Moon_
"Deserve" Trembling Blue Stars _Lips That Taste Of Tears_

"You Deserve Each Other" Robert Mitchum _That Man, Robert Mitchum, Sings_
"What Did I Ever Do To Deserve Such A Fate" The Music Explosion _Little Bit O' Soul: The Best Of The Music Explosion_
"What Did I Do To Deserve You?" Joey Ramone _...Ya Know?_
"I Don't Deserve A Boy Like You" The Chiffons _Sweet Talkin' Girls: The Best Of The Chiffons_

"You Get What You Deserve" Big Star _Radio City_
"People Don't Get What They Deserve" Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings _Give The People What They Want_
"Nothing Less Than You Deserve" Fat Tulips _Starfish_
"I Don't Deserve You" The Gitanes _Strange Girl_

"He Didn't Deserve You" They Go Boom!! _Atlantic_
"Undeserved Disgrace" Mondial _Labrador 100: A Complete History Of Popular Music_

Whither Deserve?

(Apparently this was a game show.  I found the image here.)

Oh no, it's another one of those shows the theme of which is a verb!  Why does Gary do that?  Does he think we deserve that sort of thing?  & why is he talking about himself in the third person?  Does that make it easier to distance himself from an uncomfortably weird theme?

Seriously, why can't I do a show about nouns like crickets, crucibles, or crockery?  It's because sometimes I get caught up in things I'm listening to.  Like, a while back, I was listening to Big Star's Radio City.  There's a song on there called "You Get What You Deserve."  Do I believe that?  I don't know - I'm almost certain that many people who live in fear, poverty, deprivation, & want don't deserve it, just as I'm completely certain that most people born into privilege do not deserve all they have.  I then happened (in a manner of minutes) to listen to the Sharon Jones' song "People Don't Get What They Deserve," & that's when I thought, "I smell a theme!"

We can argue about who deserves what if you want but let's instead focus on the fact that there's a lot of songs about deserving or not deserving on this week's Self Help Radio, which airs from 4 to 6 pm on WRFL in Lexington (that's at 88.1 fm) & also simultaneously online at wrfl dot fm.  You'll hear both the songs I mentioned about plus many more as well as an interview with self-help guru David Fruchter (the "you deserve it" guy) & an interview with a man named CJ Buchanan, who has just created a new awards show, the Deservies.

If you think you don't deserve to miss this, don't worry!  I'll archive it tomorrow on self help radio dot net.

Look, I know I don't deserve your listening, but I hope you'll do so all the same.

Preface To Deserve: Look At These!

It's the day before I do Self Help Radio & I am hard at work half-heartedly working on my show, so do you mind if share a neat web site I stumbled on while avoiding editing stuff?  This is a collection of "acquaintance cards" from the 19th century.  Like this one:

You can find lots of them - & find out what exactly an "acquaintance card"is - here.

Let's bring these back!  & not ironically!  If it at possible.

Write-Up

The semesterly magazine of WRFL, called "Rifle," has its fall issue out, which you can find all over Lexington & online here.  In addition to a section featuring drawings of two characters from the show - Werful, the monster who lived under the station, & the Princess he/she secretly was - both beautifully rendered by my friend Suloni Robertson - Self Help Radio makes an appearance in an article about the new schedule, which I present here:

In case you don't feel like clicking to read, it says this: "Gary continues to be hilarious & largely indescribable on Self Help Radio."

Really?  Largely indescribable?  Every week I explore a different theme with music & talk.  Also, hilarious?  Maybe not me, but certainly my guests!

Still - it's nice to be thought of!

Spending The Day In The Past

(I found this image here.)

It's not near the time of my birthday, so there's no real excuse for me to be stumbling into my past, but I was talking to a friend about our old haunts in Garland, Texas, & I asked him about this place from my past.  It was a knick-knack/tchotchke store in the portion of the Ridgewood Shopping Center very close to the apartments my family lived in from around 1977 to 1982.

During the time we lived there, we knew some kids - a couple of them were teenagers, who were more friends of my sister Karin - who, like us, were quite poor, so my little brother & I emulated them in their shoplifting ways.  I can't say I stole a whole lot of things, but I got pretty good at it.  There was a "dime store" called TG&Y & across the drive from that place, was the weird knick-knack store.  You can read more about TG&Y here; its demise is a little sad.  I think the store I visited had closed before the chain itself disappeared, but I can't be sure, because it had been four years since I lived near the Ridgewood Shopping Center.

The tchotchke place seemed very fancy to me.  It smelled of odd fragrances inside, & every shelf seemed to have a soft lining, & the little things - carved ceramics, figurines, etc. - had their prices hand-written on little tags usually on their bottoms.  Thinking about it now, I realize that it's the same smell you associate with hobby places like Michaels or Jo-Ann's or that hateful & intolerant place - what's it called, Lobby Lobby? - that smell from ceramics & metals.  Except at this place, it was crammed into a small, not terribly lit place.  Oh, & the people there watched me like a hawk, with good reason - I probably wanted to steal something.  Just to have it, you know?

There was a grocery store called Minyards on the same side as the knick-knack shop, & it existed until the end of the late 1990s, because I remember going there during my third year of college & seeing someone I hadn't seen since middle school.  That, by the way, never happens anymore - I haven't run into anyone I knew from high school in two decades or more.  Not in my home town, not really anywhere.

In any event - I know this information is only of interest to me, & I apologize for that - the most interesting thing about TG&Y is something I've just discovered, which is this: the former employees have a web site & a Facebook page where they reconnect with each other, & share information about possible retirement benefits.

Where I am going with this - what I asked my friend - is what the hell was the name of the shop that existed across from the TG&Y?  Here's a picture from Google maps of what the old place looks like now-ish:

TG&Y would be the building on the right, the knick-knack place would be the first shop on the left.  The place looks so nondescript now, but the pillars that line the left side used to have this pebble-y covering that was attractive & also painful if you ran into it.  It was probably too hard to maintain - I guess pulled off the pebbly thing & painted the pillars.

In my lame "research" - you know, just trying to find stuff with Google - I found a forum where I asked if anyone remembered the place's name.  & then - just a few minutes ago - in the shower - my brain told me this name: "The Gift Shoppe."

There's no real way to know if that's what it was actually called, but in my mind I can see the sign hanging by the door, I can almost make out the font.  It feels right.  It feels like there's a place called "The Gift Shoppe," where I never could ever afford to buy a gift.  & wouldn't even know anyone who would want a gift from there.

Was that really its name?  I don't know.  I think so.  I did spend the whole day trying to find out!

Self Help Radio 090815: Ambition

(Original image here.)

It certainly didn't feel ambitious to do a radio show about ambition.  Although I am proud that the first fifteen songs I played were all called "Ambition."  & one of those was a request!

The show went tolerably well despite how terrible I do in it.  Much of that is because of the great interviews I had: CJ Buchanan, talking about his new book, "The Death Of Ambition"; Mark Miller, talking about ambition in Hollywood; & the Reverend Dr. Howard Gently, giving us spiritual wisdom about ambition.  As I said on the air, it's good to have them around, because it means less of me on the show.

& the show is now available for your listening - pleasure? could it be? - at the Self Help Radio website.  As always, please pay attention to password/username information at the top of the page.  What I played is below.

So much for ambition!

(part one)

"Ambition" The Subway Sect _Twenty Odd Years: The Story Of Vic Godard & The Subway Sect_
"Ambition" Iggy Pop _Soldier_
"Ambition" TV21 _Ambition_

"Ambition" UK Subs _Endangered Species_
"Ambition" The Lonely Hearts _Ambition 7"_
"Ambition" Dalek I Love You _Dalek I Love You_
"Ambition" Robert Marlow _The Peter Pan Effect_

"Ambition" New Model Army _No Rest For The Wicked_
"Ambition" The Knack _Zoom_
"Ambition" John Vanderslice _Mass Suicide Occult Figurines_

"Ambition" Graduate _Acting My Age_
"Ambition" Velvet Elvis _Velvet Elvis_

(part two)

"Ambition" Smog _Supper_
"Ambition" Blue Skies For Black Hearts _Serenades & Hand Grenades_
"Ambition" We Are Scientists _Barbara_

"Man With Ambition" Denzil Dennis _Early Dayz_
"Good Ambition" The Ethiopians _Everything Crash_
"Aim & Ambition" Jimmy Cliff _Hard Road To Travel_
"My Ambition" Marcia Griffiths _Truly_

"Ambitious" Wire _The Ideal Copy_
"Ambitions" Liechtenstein _Fast Forward_
"My Life's Ambition" Groovey Joe Poovey _Greatest Grooves_
"Slave Of My Ambition" Malaria _Emotion_

"Great Expectations" The Ghost Of A Saber Tooth Tiger _Midnight Sun_

Whither Ambition?

(Original image found here.)

This is true: I am probably the least ambitious person you'll ever meet.  Sure, I put a lot of work into my radio show, not that you could tell, but I don't know that if I knew how to make it really great, if I could actually do it.  Because I have spent my life doing the bare minimum required of me to make or do something passable.  A striver for excellence I ain't.

For example: I usually wrote my college papers the night before they were due.  In fact, in the days before most people had computers, I would often ask my professors if it were all right if I turned papers in hand-written.  I remember one class - it must have been an existentialist lit class - where I wrote a paper on my bedroom floor on my stomach in pen about two hours before class.  It was for a book a really love, Jean-Paul Sartre's Nausea, & I had a lot to say about it, but still.

You might say, well, you know you could get away with it.  But that's completely wrong - I've never had the confidence that I could in fact get things done in time.  I even told one professor I should take an incomplete instead of writing a paper, but she talked me off the ledge & let me turn that final report in a bit later.

Anyway, I could've gone to grad school, I suppose.  But I stuck with the easiest job I could find after college.  & at one period of time, I thought I might write, but it turned out I liked being ridiculous on the radio even better.  It was certainly less work - it was in fact easy, sharing music with people.  If in fact my radio shows sound as shabby as I believe they do, it's because the whole process feels easy to me.  Perhaps I should try harder.  I wonder what that would feel like.

In any event - today I unambitiously present a show about ambition.  It's on from four to six pm (4-6pm) on eighty-eight point one fm (88.1 fm) WRFL in Lexington proper.  All over the world improper it's online at wrfl.fm.  I have lots of guests today - I guess that's ambitious - & the first hour or so will be entirely filled with songs called "Ambition."

Don't worry, I didn't work that hard on it.  If you can't listen, I'll archive it tomorrow on the show's web site.

By the way, it's annoying to me that we still say "man" or "mankind" to mean the entire human race.  When I see a quote like the one above, my first thought is, "& what did Marcus Aurelius think a woman's worth was?"  (Well, chances are he didn't think of women at all.)  Would it be so bad to retroactively change quotes like that to "A person's worth..." or "A human's worth..."?  It's translated from the Latin anyway.

Here's an ambitious thought: just as I think I'll be old & die in a world in which same-sex marriage is no big deal to the vast majority of us, I hope I'll be old & die in a world where people stop saying "man" & "mankind" & instead say "human" & "humankind" or "humanity."  That way, even though every day will be over 120 degrees, & most of the great coastal cities will be underwater, I'll at least be glad that as the human race is dying out, we aren't as homophobic & sexist as we were when I was a kid.

Preface To Ambition: Ambitious Inspiration

There are two songs that I was listening to recently that made me think, Hey, I should do a radio show about ambition.  (I've already shared this on my Facebook page today.  Sorry for the repeat.)  (I'm going to post this to my Twitter page too.  It's the lame way I try to be relevant on social media.)

Here's the first one, a legendary single by Subway Sect:



& the other, from the mid-80s version of Wire:



This is normally what I talk about on the day of my show, but I thought I'd share today.  Great songs - maybe a great show?

Belabor Day

Do you remember where you were at when you learned what certain words meant?  Is that a weird questions to ask?  I used to be one of those kids who had a dictionary by the side of the bed - because I read in bed - & I would look words up I didn't understand.  Not that I always remember the meanings.  I always have to look up "feckless" (I note this ironically) & also "jejune," for example (another word that may painfully describe me), since for some reason I can't keep them in my head.  Two words that I used to have a problem with - "atavistic" & "quotidian" - I am now comfortable with.  So there's hope for me yet!

Nowadays of course I just look them up on my computer or phone (which is a computer, isn't it).  But that wasn't the question I asked.  Do you remember the moment when you learned what a particular word meant?  There are some words that I remember exactly when I learned what they meant.

To qualify my previous statement: I don't know an exact date or time, but I do know an exact scenario, usually involving a book, or comic book, or newspaper, or magazine.

One of those words is "belabor."  It's most often used in the phrase "to belabor the point."  I might be accuse of belaboring many points in this blog.  Belabor means to argue or go on about something in too much detail.  Belaboring a point is basically talking something to death.

It must have been in the late seventies because I was skimming a magazine (Time? Newsweek? People? Hustler?) at my mom's convenience store, & they were complaining about the President - who was Carter - belaboring a point about his foreign policy, most probably with Iran.  My initial thought was that he was working hard to make the point - he was "laboring" to make the point, although I didn't know what the "be-" prefix might point to.  Some hours after that, on the news, they used the same phrase: "belaboring the point."  It didn't seem like a positive statement in context.  It started to drive me crazy.

So I looked it up.  & I learned what it meant.  That very day.

& you - do you have memories of discovering word meanings in a specific matter?  Maybe you should think about them on this Belabor Day.

One Thing Is Clear: Backmasking In Secular Rock Music Is Always Negative

This is so much fun.  When I was a kid, I discovered "backmasking" - it was because of a list in a book that had "proof" that Paul McCartney was dead, that the other Beatles left "clues" in songs & in album designs to tell the world about it.  (In case you've never heard this, you can read about it here & here.)  I was completely floored by the backwards segue from "I'm So Tired" to "Blackbird" which seemed to have John Lennon say, "Paul is dead, miss him, miss him."  & then of course, "number nine" backwards is "turn me on, dead man"!  Truth be told, I was a little freaked out by it all.  I took the book - it was called "The Book Of Rock Lists" - & hid it downstairs for a while, afraid it had some kind of weird dark magic.

(When I was a kid, I dearly wanted to believe in magic.  Have I told you my astral projection story?  Remind me to tell you my astral projection story one day.)

It was only later when I found out that some fundamentalist Christians were freaking out about backmasking as somehow the work of satanic forces, which didn't affect me as much because I wasn't really raised Christian, didn't really believe necessarily in Christian mythology, & by that point I was pretty disillusioned by most supernatural stuff.  The Christian trappings made it seem even more unlikely to me.

Besides, if the messages played backwards were so obvious, why did the person presenting the messages have to tell you what you were supposed to hear before they played it?  It's because they needed you to expect to hear what they told you to hear.  Mostly it's just paranoid nonsense used to justify a social agenda.

That doesn't mean it's not fun to listen to!  I found this website which has one of these tapes, the tape booklet of which is above.  The straight face with which this is presented makes it the more ridiculous.  But except for the boring witnessing at the end, the "26 Amazing Examples Of Backward Messages In Rock Music" is pretty entertaining.  Black Oak Arkansas has never felt so relevant!

Self Help Radio 090115: Failure

(Original image here.)

It's only natural a show like Self Help Radio would celebrate failure.  After all, many self-help websites (I know, I read a lot of them this past week) encourage people to learn from their failures, to pick themselves up & dust themselves off, & of course to try, try again.  They consider failure to be a stepping stone - a setback - a speedbump on the road of life.

Only sometimes failure isn't that.  Sometimes - more times than we perhaps know - it's the thing that happens right before the end.  & sometimes - more times than we doubtless know - the end takes a long time.  I'm just saying.  We hear about & applaud those who fail & recover & go on to bigger things.  We hear less about those who fail & never make it out of that failure.

That got depressing fast.  Whew.  Can I just say that today's show, while certainly not a success, wasn't quite the failure I hoped it would be?  I think it helped that there was good music, a sort-of interview with internet sensation Mr. Failure, a report from Marge Most at the Museum Of Failure, & a special "word of encouragement" from the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently.  I tried to keep my head down.

The show can be listened to (unless I failed to upload it properly) at the Self Help Radio website.  If you fail to look at the page, you might not notice there's a username/password combo you'll need to listen to shows.  & what songs you will hear are listed below.

Don't fail to listen!

(part one)

"The Will To Fail" Katie Lee _Songs Of Couch & Consultation_
"Love Will Make You Fail In School" Mickey & Sylvia _Love Is Strange_
"He Hasn't Failed Me Yet" Wendy Rene _You Thrill My Soul: Early Stax Females & Girl Groups_

"I'll Never Fail You" Billie Holiday _The Essential Brunswick Recordings_
"Don't Make Me Fail" The Creary Sisters _Man From Galilee: Tabernacle Studio One_
"There's One Thing That Beats Failing" Bobby Womack _The Very Best Of Bobby Womack 1968-1975_
"Nothing Beats A Failure (But A Try)" The Natural Four _Night Chaser_

"Failures" Joy Division _Heart & Soul_
"Capital (It Fails Us Now)" Gang Of Four _A Brief History Of The 20th Century_
"Rudie Can't Fail" The Clash _London Calling_
"Jeane" The Smiths _This Charming Man_

"Failing In Love" The Waltones _You've Gotta Hand It To 'Em: The Very Best Of The Waltones_
"My Failure's Success" Brighter _Heol_

(part two)

"You Love To Fail" The Magnetic Fields _Distant Plastic Trees_
"Other People's Failure" John Wesley Harding _John Wesley Harding's New Deal_
"I'm So Happy You Failed" Laptop _Opening Credits_

"Failure" My Robot Friend _Soft-Core_
"Failure" A Sunny Day In Glasgow _Ashes Grammar_
"Failure" Kings Of Convenience _Quiet Is The New Loud_
"Failure" Fragile _Popular World_

"Failure" P:ano _The Den_
"Failure" Juliana Hatfield _There's Always Another Girl_
"The King Of Failed" From Bubblegum To Sky _A Soft Kill_
"Holy Failure" Certain General _Invisible New York_

"The Bar Is Too Low To Fail" BOAT _50 Sweaty BOAT Fans Can't Be Wrong_
"Mission Failed" San Cisco _San Cisco_

Whither Failure?

(I found this here.)

Why a Self Help Radio show about failure?  Are you kidding?  Have you ever met a radio show with such low self-esteem?  All right then.  Why are you so surprised?

Personally I don't think of life as a game or a contest you can win, though I am fond of how comedian Marc Maron describes certain people with the phrase "he or she won life."  I don't think I've in any respect "won" life (Maron used the phrase to describe Iggy Pop, I think), but I also hope that I haven't gotten to the point where the determination can be made that I have failed life.  Give me a couple more years, please!

Hey!  The show is on today from 4 to 6 pm (like usual) on 88.1 fm in Lexington, & online at wrfl dot fm.  If you fail to listen today, I'll archive it tomorrow.  If you fail to listen after that, I'll adopt my best Donald Trump voice & say, "Oh well!  It doesn't matter.  He/she is a failure!"

But I hope it doesn't come to that!

Preface To Failure: The Failure That Is Me

The show - Self Help Radio - was not yet two years old when I got one of the first "criticisms" of it by a listener.  I don't remember her name, I just recall she called & said she had noticed that the show tended to be more "negative" than positive.  She remembered a show I did called "the broken show" where I played songs & talked about being broken.  She mentioned a show about war, about being lost, about being stupid.  It occurred to me at the time that maybe she had actually heard only four shows.*  But there is no denying it: I am a negative person.

When my sister died a couple of months ago, those in my family who are reflective tried to paint a picture of her that was more complete than the moments we spent with her, especially those last moments.  It became very clear to me, at least, that somewhere along the line both she & I had inherited, if not from our mother's behavior, something genetic which made us the blackest of pessimists.  As my nephew, her son, said, "I didn't realize how strong the Dickerson** was in her."

In addition to our bleak outlook on life - we "expect the worst" - apparently we're a bunch of quitters.  Honestly, I thought it was just me.  I have quit a lot of things in my life - I have found catharsis in quitting - but those who see things through obviously disdain even the best intentions for bailing.  I don't know enough about my brothers to know exactly what that means, unless it's about quitting work - except for my little brother, who goes to church, I don't know about any of my siblings having hobbies outside of televised sports.  I should also ask my nephew what his mother quit that he remembers.

In any event, there is reason to believe I'm something of a failure.  I went to college with the intention of becoming a teacher, but that obviously didn't happen.  The "career"*** I had for twenty years is not something I want to return to.  The thing I've loved most is a thing I will never ever get paid for, which is the radio.  Crazy, right?

Do you know those lists of so-called "famous failures" which is designed to make you realize that many successful people fail a lot before they succeed?  I know, it's all about inspiring people.  But I wish I could find a list of failures that never ever succeeded, never got out of the hole they found themselves in.  I can't - they're unmemorable.  Although I have an idea
for something to talk about on the show...

Where was I?  Oh, I was just thinking of whether I am actually a failure.  I confess I don't even know what I'd do if I could somehow find success.  Which reminds me of the sad Woodentops line from "Last Time": "I found success in the Eden that we made."  Maybe my wonderful life with a wonderful woman & eight infuriatingly wonderful animals makes me a few notches above a failure.

Nah.  The Dickerson is too strong in me.

* Actually, someone called me a few months ago on WRFL & mentioned that he liked my show, but that he had only heard it "about four times."  So perhaps four times is the average saturation point.

** That's my last name, my sister's maiden name.

*** The job I had after college that I stumbled into.

History Section

Sometimes when I'm in a bookstore I stand in the Self-Help section to see if I feel a sense of belonging.  There are Glenn Beck books in the Self-Help section.  That was weird to see.  I guess narcissism is a kind of self-help program, sure.

Today though I was looking for a book about the Middle Ages.  I was at a store whose name suggests that they sell books for half their cover price, although that's not always true.  It's like so-called "dollar stores."  Lots of things there cost much more than a dollar.  But I suppose you could have a store called "Chicken Express" & only sell candles & most people wouldn't bat an eyelid.

As I was saying, something about the Middle Ages.  It's a minor interest of mine.  I am reading a book now about popes.  I wanted some background & most of the articles on Wikipedia about the subject are kind of terrible.  Not really readable.  I wanted something by a person who could actually write.  A writer.  A historian.

Standing therefore was I in the small history section when the fellow who had been standing behind me said to me, "I guess they're all kinda mixed-up, hunh?"

Sensing he wasn't sure how the shelves were organized, I showed him the little flags which indicated the areas about which the books were supposed to be.  Little areas for "England," "Germany," "Eastern Europe," etc.

He said, "I was looking for a book about Scandinavian history."

Suddenly I felt like he thought I was an employee, but I did scan the area where European countries were represented & couldn't find a section about Denmark or Sweden or Finland or Norway.

"Yeah," I said, "there seems to be sections for a lot of countries, like this giant section for Russia, but it seems that the northern European countries got short-shift."

"Got what?" he said.

"Short-shrift," I said.  "Treated poorly, neglected," I added.

"I like that!" he said.

Guess he found something in that section after all.  He's lucky I hadn't yet read about the origin of the phrase.  It was first written down by Shakespeare!  He would've gotten an earful from me.