Preface To I Don't Care: GONE TO BOOMSLANG

I don't think this much has happened in this city in a four day period ever before!

GONE TO BOOMSLANG

Aren't you coming too?

GONE TO BOOMSLANG

See you there?

Until Proven Guilty

"All things truly wicked start from innocence," said Ernest Hemingway, but I hope the show isn't truly wicked, just wicked rad.  Do people even say "wicked" as an adverb describing an adjective anymore?  I'm serious, I should talk to people & maybe even pay attention.

The show is presumed innocent.  That's its right.  It's also presumed to be at the Self Help Radio website, where it has been cut in two parts, which you can download separately: part the first is there, while part the second is here.  What's in each part is below.

Self Help Radio not responsible for a loss of innocence.

(part one)

"Songs Of Innocence: Introduction" Ralph Cosham _A Selection From "Songs Of Innocence" & "Songs Of Experience"_
"Song Of Innocence" David Axelrod _Song Of Innocence_
"Songs Of Innocence (single version)" Jah Wobble _Glitters Is Gold_

"Innocence" Kirsty MacColl _Galore_
"Age Of Innocence" The Pearly Gatecrashers _New Fluffy Delicious_
"The Charm Of Innocence" Momus _Tender Pervert_
"Sweet & Innocent" Roy Orbison _Orbison_

"Lost Innocence" The Buddhas _Pebbles Vol. 2_
"Young & Innocent" Changin' Times _How Is The Air Up There 7"_
"Return To Innocence" Expressions _Destination Frantic # 3_
"Moody Richard (The Innocent Bystander)" Dan Hicks & His Hot Licks _Striking It Rich_
"Young & Innocent Days" The Kinks _Arthur (Or The Decline & Fall Of The British Empire)_

(part two)

"Innocent Man" The Jam _Direction, Reaction, Creation_
"Innocent" The Buzzcocks _Trade Test Transmissions_
"Innocence" The Moving Parts _Wrong Conclusion_
"Pure & Innocent" Those Naughty Lumps _The Zoo Uncaged 1978-1982_

"Pardon My Innocent Heart" Nate Evans _Eccentric Soul: Twinight's Lunar Rotation_
"Innocent When You Dream (78)" Tom Waits _Franks Wild Years_
"Innocent Abroad" Would-Be-Goods _The Morning After_
"Innocent" Minisnap _Bouncing Around_

"Innocence" The Other Two _The Other Two & You_
"Innocent" Tears Run Rings _Distance_
"No One Is Innocent" Siglo XX _Flowers For The Rebels_

Whither Innocence

I have had to write emails to two people who suggested songs for Self Help Radio this week (the show, you know, about innocence) & tell them that I just really wouldn't play those songs on my show, &, probably, no one at WRFL would play them (although apparently right now the jazz show is playing an hour-long documentary on Dave Matthews, so what do I know?).  One of them was this song, by Billy Joel.  The other is the title track from this album by Don Henley.  (By the way, I love love love the ridiculous way that review ends: "This album is highly recommended for those who like their pop music with a message."  It's funny because there are people who don't care what the music sounds like as long as there's a "message"!) I don't want to be too judgmental about the two songs - both of which I'm sure I've heard, but I can't bring them to mind (whew) - (aw man, that parenthetical expression is judgmental!) - I just don't think that either Don Henley or Billy Joel should be played on a radio station that's dedicated to playing underplayed or underheard (or even unknown!) music.  (I also really don't like Billy Joel, & have tremendous antipathy for Don Henley, especially because of the Eagles.)  (But I would have gladly played decent covers of those songs if they had existed.)  In fact - continuing that last parenthetical expression without any parentheses, I would be glad if people who made suggestions for songs for certain themes sent me ideas for covers if the songs were very popular.  I tend to err on the side of less-heard than most-heard.

& now, a pathetic aside:

Why does no one want to follow me on the Twitter?  You could do so here.  Maybe occasionally I say something witty or interesting?

Tomorrow's show on innocence - not the end of the innocence, & certainly not from an innocent man - airs from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  You can listen online at wrfl dot fm & I will guiltily put the show up later on the Self Help Radio web page.  There will be no loss of innocence involved in the show.  You need something more powerful for that sort of thing!

Preface To Innocence: The Loss Of Innocence

If you were an English major in college like I was you heard the phrase "loss of innocence" more times than any other, or perhaps just less than "man's inhumanity to man" (although at the time, I was more obsessed with "woman's inhumanity to man").  It's common in most novels for a main character to undergo a disappointment or a betrayal & "lose their innocence," meaning their naivety.  Sometimes, in racier books, stories, or poems, the loss of innocence was an actual rape, in which a female character's virginity is "taken."  Using an online searchable Bible I found zero mentions of the word "innocence" in the King James Version, although I found nine mentions in the New International Version.  All those mentions refer to the opposite of "guilt," though the site linked to a small passage from gospel.com which was titled, "Innocence In The Bible: A Christian Perspective."  It said, simply, "[The Christian] god cherishes, protects, & rewards those who keep blameless in his eyes - those who obey & trust in him."  It does suggest to me that if lose your innocence - like, for example, if you are raped - there's a case to be made using the logic of this statement that you have not kept blameless in that god's eyes, because you weren't obeying & trusting him.  That would have made a spirited conversation in an English class!  I myself was trying to think if there were a time when I felt my innocence was lost, & I thought of two moments in my life, one general, one specific.  The general one involved what I think was the onset of puberty, around sixth & seventh grade (at the time, it seemed to happen overnight, but in retrospect, it was a process that took several months).  In addition to becoming sexually attracted to girls (a terrifying enough prospect) (you'd think one of my older brothers might have warned me about unwanted erections), I recall that I started to make more sense of the world at that time.  I noticed things around me, paid more attention to the news, thought about things in the "bigger picture."  There were so many things I had just never thought about that were in my mind all of a sudden.  That was a certain loss of innocence - as if innocence were a certain ignorance, which contributed to the bliss of childhood.  The second time involved my mother, who, as I've doubtless said, is vain & narcissistic.  We were poor & despite what some kids might have been saying to me behind my back (or to my face) at school, I wasn't entirely aware of how close to the poverty line we were living.  One day, in that way she had of asking her children questions about herself, my mother asked me, "You're not ashamed of how poor we are, are you?"  I always think I should have responded, "Well, I am NOW," but I saw how she needed reassuring, so I went ahead & responded in the negative.  It occurs to me, telling the story now, that the specific incident could very well have happened in the middle of my biological loss of innocence.  In both cases - & in the literary study of "innocence" - once that innocence is lost, it's not coming back.  For good or ill.

Boomslang!

It's less than a week away.  Look what is happening:

Go to the Boomslang website for all the information you need.  Come to Lexington to see it if you must!  It will be breathtaking!

This Awkward Story

As time goes by, I seem to get less angry but more frustrated.  I am always surprised when I see myself in a mirror; if I have just had a conversation with someone, & then, say, go to the rest room, I am astonished that the person in the mirror washing his hands is who they saw when they were talking to me.  (As an aside, they often say that you shouldn't look at yourself when you're on acid, but I avoided it because I didn't want to see that I looked the same while I was feeling like a different person.)  Another thing, which might be noticeable in this blog: I am becoming something of a blowhard.  Stories take longer because I feel a need to contextualize.  Although I am entirely aware that there's a 90% chance that no one's listening.  Is it my vanity that makes me think, Just in case.  The wife told me I don't get into as many arguments as I used to, but I guess I don't talk to as many people as I used to, or perhaps I don't talk to as many argumentative people as I used to.  I remember I poo-pooed my friend Joe's Facebook status update many months ago when he wrote something like I still don't know what I want to do with my life.  After I apologized to him for being dismissive of a perfectly valid thought, I think I'd rewrite it to suit my needs to say I still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I think sometimes that I had some idea, some purpose, at some time - or that I thought I had some idea, some purpose, at one time.  If you asked me now, I don't think I could tell you what it was - but I can't speak for me back then.  Someone recently was describing a memory that we shared, of a time we were together, & although I remembered the same thing, I didn't remember that it was me with the person in the memory.  I was certain it was a story the person had told me that had happened to her & some other guy, not an event in which I took part.  It must be my memory trying to save me from my life.  & speaking of rewrites: I take back what I said at the beginning of this dumb paragraph.  I'm not more frustrated, I'm more resigned.  & that's pretty frustrating.

Lower Expectations

The thing about the word expectations is, every time I say it, I think "expectorant."  You know, a medicine that makes you hock up whatever phlegmy stuff is making you miserable when you have a cold or whatever.  A thing that makes you expectorate.  But the two words are unrelated - the "expect" in "expectorate" come from the Latin "pectus," which means "breast" - like in "pectoral."  The expect in "expectations" (&, you know, in "expect") is from a Latin word that means "look out for."

Anyway, I didn't find any songs about expectorating, so it's fine.  The songs I did find about expectations are below, & they're played during this week's show, which is now on the Self Help Radio website.  It's divided into two parts, helpfully labelled part number one & part number two.

The text for today's show comes from the Edwyn Collins song I play in the second hour.  It goes like this:

"You've been down this road before
Which is not to say you're bored
Or that you shouldn't want for more
It's just your expectations should be lower"

You have been admonished.

(part one)

"Expectations" Lewis Black _Stark Raving Black_
"Expectations" Belle & Sebastian _Tigermilk_
"She's Expecting You" Department S _Is Vic There?_

"I've Been Expecting You" Luxuria _Beast Box_
"High Expectation" Stereolab _Switched On_
"Never Expect Any More" Cody _Stillpoint Primer_
"Expecting To Fly" Buffalo Springfield _Neil Young: Decade_

"How Do You Expect Me To Get It" The Pelicans _Money Honey: The Rise Of The Black Vocal Group (1952-1953)_
"Expect Delays" Solvent & Skanfrom _Misery Loves Company_
"No Expectations" I Am The World Trade Center _The Cover Up_
"Spanish Inquisition (Part 1)" Monty Python _Another Monty Python Record_
"Expecting" Minnie Ripperton _Come To My Garden_

"I Don't Expect Her For You (Look At That Girl)" The Sneetches _Lights Out With The Sneetches_

(part two)

"Expectations" Young Dreams _Dream Alone, Wake Together EP_
"The Expectation Of Love" Gentle Tuesday _A Gentleman's Laundry_
"Low Expectations" Edwyn Collins _Gorgeous George_

"Words Of Expectation" The Fall _The Complete Peel Sessions 1978-2004_
"Am I Expecting Too Much" Debra Lewis _Teenage Girls: Volume 3_
"Expect The Unexpected" Ronnie Willhoite _The Doorkeepers: A Church Leadership Development Program For Ushers_

"No Expectations" The Dirtbombs _If You Don't Already Have A Look_
"Expect A Miracle" Something Pretty Beautiful _Something Pretty Beautiful_
"Great Expectations" Eric Carmen _Eric Carmen_
"Spanish Inquisition (Part 2)" Monty Python _Another Monty Python Record_

"Great Expectations" The Men They Couldn't Hang _The Domino Club_
"What Did You Expect" Railroad Jerk _One Track Mind_

Whither Expectations?

An article on the psychology.com website written by someone with the amusing name Dr. Lickerman - MD, natch - lays out the four ways we experience expectations & their outcomes:

1) Low expectations, poor experience.
2) Low expectations, good experience.
3) High expectations, poor experience.
4) High expectations, good experience.

Not to mention the worst thing you can hear about, high expectations with an amazing experience too.  Those people are insufferable.  How I envy them!

Which one will Self Help Radio be tomorrow?  (Hint: start with low expectations.  It will save you a lot of grief.)  (That's assuming listen at all.)

Tomorrow, 7 to 9 am, on 88.1 WRFL in Lexington, we examine all sorts of expectations.  I might expect you'd rather listen on the computer, in which case you can find it at wrfl dot fm.  But I have no expectations of you listening to it later on, where it'll be at the Self Help Radio website.

I am not used to being expected; I am much more used to being excepted.

Preface To Expectations: Stress Cold

This article - from 1998, in the New York times - though rather old - confirms what I expected - which seems apropos, since this week's show is about expectations.

I have had a cold brewing for a while now, & my stress levels have been high for a few weeks, & having to worry about & care for an old dog seem to have let the cold germs in.

It makes me want to ask, "Why haven't we cured the common cold?"

I was content, for the last twenty-four hours, to let it run its course - & was feeling that I'd just sleep for a day.  But the wife decided to get me medicine - including that strange concoction called NyQuil, which is about as old as I am, & which has been with me my entire life.  & when I take medicine - & by the way, I'm all for medicine over pseudoscientific potions & the like - when I take medicine, I forget how effective medicine is.

This hasn't been a terrible cold.  I don't (yet) have a runny nose or a terrible cough.  But I did sleep half the day & I have been sucking cough drops since yesterday, so my mouth feels like it's filled with vaguely cherry-tasting phlegm.

I'm working on my show, though.  My expectation is that I'll have it finished.  At least I expect to.

Pets

It's been a stressful day because the puppy whom I declared my undying love for yesterday had to have surgery.  It's the second surgery on the second beagle of ours this year.  George, it turned out, had cancer.  He's home now, minus a limb, but in less pain than when we took him to the vet.

The vet, by the way, is Metropolitan Veterinary Specialists & Emergency Services.  In particular, a Dr. Royals, who operated on both our sick doglings this year.  He was unflinchingly honest - perhaps a tad too modest about his own abilities - & did his very best, which was excellent.

I just wanted to give a shout-out to an amazing place.  Everyone there was so kind.  I wonder if, when I am as old in human years as George is in dog years, & when I have an ailment that puts me in a surgeon's care, if I'll meet a staff & doctor as good to me as they were to George.

I really doubt it.

George

I love this beagle so much.  I think I should start a blog that is just pictures of him.  It would be an internet sensation.

Jobs Jobs Jobs!

It's Labor Day.  I did a show about jobs.  Lazy, I know.  I had very little sleep.

The show has been uptheloaded to the Self Help Radio website.  It's in two job-creating parts: part one is job one & part two is job two.  Whatever that means.  The job list is below.

Enjoy your Labor Day as much as you despise your laboring!

(part one)

"Get A Job" Neil Young & Crazy Horse _Americana_
"I Don't Have A Job" The Majestic Twelve _Searching For The Elvis Knob_
"Job Centre" Denim _Denim On Ice_

"Senior Service" Elvis Costello & The Attractions _Armed Forces_
"The Ticket Puncher" Mick Harvey _Pink Elephants_
"The Complete Banker" The Divine Comedy _Bang Goes The Knighthood_
"The Painter" I'm From Barcelona _Sing!! With I'm From Barcelona_
"Hairdresser On Fire" Morrissey _Viva Hate_

"I'm Gonna Be An Engineer" Pete Seeger _Workers & The Workplace 1880 - 2000_
"Grandpa Was A Carpenter" John Prine _Sweet Revenge_
"Sixteen Tons" Tennessee Ernie Ford _Sixteen Tons_
"Homo Erectus" Kinky Friedman _Old Testaments & New Revelations_
"Lawyers & Truckers" Ed's Redeeming Qualities _It's All Good News_

"The Dirty Jobs" The Who _Quadrophenia_

(part two)

"Stupid Day Job" Wally Pleasant _Houses Of The Holy Moly_
"Summer Job" Art Brut _Art Brut Vs. Satan_
"Edward, Sandwich Hand" The Lucksmiths _Happy Secret_
"Lost My Job" Alex Chilton _19 Years: A Collection Of Alex Chilton_

"Mr. Pharmacist" The Other Half _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 4_
"Highway Patrol" SWAT _Deep Inside A Cop's Mind_
"Mr. Reporter" The Kinks _Face To Face_
"The Model" Big Black _The Model 7"_
"Go-Go Dancer" The Wedding Present _Hit Parade 1_
"Travel Agent" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_

"The Singer" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Kicking Against The Pricks_
"Finnegan The Folk Hero" Momus _Folktronic_
"Inflated Job Titles" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_

"DJ" David Bowie _Lodger_
"Young Jobless" Martin Newell _Young Jobless_
"Job Fair" Archie Powell & The Exports _Great Ideas In Action_

Whither Jobs?

Like Valentine's Day & Halloween, where I try to choose different themes within the holiday context, so too I am trying the same thing with Labor Day.  Last year's show (which you can listen to here if you want) was about "work."  This show is about "jobs."  I am afraid I am not going to be able to do much better next year.

(I am having the same problem with Halloween this year.  I've done shows about vampires, werewolves, witches, graveyards, haunted houses, zombies, monsters, ghosts...  What else is there?)

In the spirit of the holiday - & frankly, because I am beat - I am not going to put a whole lot of work into the show tomorrow.  & why should I?  I have to work on Labor Day?!?  Preposterous!

You can listen to the half-assed Self Help Radio show about jobs tomorrow from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm in Lexington, online at the WRFL website or, if you're smart, you'll sleep in & listen to it later on self help radio dot net.

I should never have taken a show on a morning when so many holidays happen!

Preface To Jobs: Out Of Work

I have to do a radio show in the morning so I have to listen to stuff I may possibly play.  This gives me not so much time to blog-write.

So here is a picture from one of the numerous Tumblr blogs I'm always stumbling onto, of a human being inappropriate with a cat.  Enjoy:

Indian Burial Mounds

I was talking to someone about indian burial mounds - of which there are lots in Kentucky - & they seemed tolerably knowledgable, going on about Native Americans fleeing Kentucky & Daniel Boone & what-not, & I said, "Well, what was in the Indian burial mounds?"

The person said, "Hunh.  I don't know.  Bones?"

Like it was some sort of mystery.  Do you know who knew what was in Indian burial mounds?  Do you?

THOMAS MOTHERFUCKING JEFFERSON, that's who.

You can read it about right here.

When people talk authoritatively about stuff, & then can't really answer questions about it, I don't really judge them - I think we learn how to talk authoritatively about stuff as a survival skill - I just go find out what I asked them myself.

One thing I learned is that there weren't just burial mounds - there were residence mounds & ceremonial mounds, too.  & especially platform mounds.  Those are neat.

So what's in Indian burial mounds?  The ones that have been excavated - & some of the extant ones haven't, in accordance with the wishes of Native American tribes - have bones & artifacts in them.  But that's in general - there were a lot of them & the mound builders had different cultures.

I think I was hoping the answer would be something surprising, like "comic books."  Or "board games."  Or "escape tunnels & hidden doors."

You know, like the mounds were built by my imagination when I was seven years old.

Seeing Blue

I have spent a tolerable amount of time on three college campuses (well, most of the time on the Marshall campus was intolerable) (oh, that's not true!) & I have come to the conclusion that "school spirit" is silly at best & infuriating at worst.

At UT, it was all about the orange, which eventually blended into the fake suntans (in a city, you know, with 400 days of sun a year) of the fake people who seemed to have the most enthusiasm for the ball games.  At Marshall, it was green.  The house we had at Marshall actually had an attic painted all green.  I guess the previous inhabitants cheered at the television way up there in that room - where, of course, their school spirit is closer to their god I guess?  I don't know.

But there weren't too many people at Marshall for the green to be overwhelming.  Also, I didn't get out much.

At UK it's blue.  & I'm up at the station all the time.  WRFL is on the UK campus.  Where one in three people have something in UK Wildcat blue at any given time.  Seriously, if you see three professors chatting, one of them will have a tee shirt that says, "Some people call it obsession, we call it UK basketball."  & this dude will be a Latin teacher.

I have a nice Dickies shirt that I've had forever which is the same color as the UK blue.  I will never wear it as long as I am in Lexington.

& the thing is, I have nothing really against college sports or sports of any kind.  It's like that thing someone said once about some popular singer or band - they're not a bother at all, it's their fans.

I almost tweeted today, "Excessive school spirt is almost - almost - as irritating as excessive patriotism."

But it wasn't a complete enough thought for me.

38 Episodes Of Indiepop A To Z

I know, it's ridiculous, I just covered Hartfield to Hem today.  On a listener's recommendation I am going to see someone about my pathological need to organize things.  What the listener doesn't know is that I'm going to see someone who works for the Oxford English Dictionary.

Show at the Self Help Radio website.  What's in the show is below.  Show in two parts: part one here | part two here.  Hey!  Old indiepop a to z episodes (almost all of them) can be found on the old shows archive page.  If you want to see what's been played before.

Thanks for listening & alphabetizing with me!

(part one)

"She Bangs" Hartfield _True Color, True Lie_
"I Gotta Lie Down" The Harvest Ministers _Little Dark Mansion_
"The Javanaise" Mick Harvey _Pink Elephants_

"Everybody Loves Me But You" Juliana Hatfield _Hey Babe_
"Words Of Hope" The Hawks _Words Of Hope_
"Our Favourite Motorway" Darren Hayman & The Secondary Modern _Pram Town_
"Kill Karaoke" The Haywains _Never Mind Manchester, Here's The Haywains_
"Sand" Lee Hazlewood & Nancy Sinatra _Nancy & Lee_

"Davey Crockett" Thee Headcoatees _Sisters Of Suave_
"Cherry Tulips" Headlights _Some Racing, Some Stopping_
"Reach The Sky" The Headmen _Reach The Sky 12"_
"Camel City" Health & Beauty _Pop & Circumstance_
"Suddenly Molly" Heart-Sick Groans _EardrumsPop 100_

"The Heartbeat Of Krakow" The Heartbeat Of Krakow _The Heartbeat Of Krakow_

(part two)

"Kiss Me When I'm Starving" The Heart Throbs _Cleopatra Grip_
"(You Promised Me A) Camera" Hearts On Fire _Dreams Of Leaving_
"No Way, No Way" Heartworms _Pop American Style_
"Itchy Chin" Heavenly _The Decline & Fall Of Heavenly_

"Maplewood" The Heavy Blinkers _Intercontinental Pop Exchange No. 3_
"The Hymn For The Cigarettes" Hefner _The Fidelity Wars_
"Former Hero" Heikki _2_
"Debbie Loves Joey" Helen Love _The Bubblegum Killers E.P._
"Pat's Trick" Helium _The Dirt Of Luck_

"Blank Generation" Richard Hell & The Voidoids _Singles: The Great New York Singles Scene_
"Rachel Clean" Hellfire Sermons _Hymns, Ancient & Modern (1988-1993)_
"My Best Friend" Hello Saferide _Introducing..._
"Record Shop" Help Stamp Out Loneliness _Help Stamp Out Loneliness_
"Left The Party" Helmet Tag _Yay 4 Cuteness_
"Be Completely Full Of" Hem _Be Completely Full Of 7"_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 38?

First of all, I am entirely aware that over on the Self Help Radio website, it says this week's theme is "Indiepop A To Z # 39."  I think I know why/how that happened.

Y'see, I've been doing (for two years now) three hours of radio a week, divided equally between a freeform (that's a KVRX term; at RFL they call it "general format") show called Sugar Substitute & a specialty show (RFL term: "block show") called Self Help Radio.

& about every four months (thrice a year), I return to the Indiepop A To Z list, which of course I will never finish but which occupies my mind in a happy way.  I have in the past gotten special dispensation from the WRFL Management to allow me to use the entire three hours for the A To Z silliness.

Because of that, the numbers of the IA2Z (as no one abbreviates it) have usually been split between Sugar Substitute & Self Help Radio.  For example, Indiepop A To Z # 36 was during Sugar Substitute, while # 37 was during Self Help Radio.

I know these divisions mean absolutely nothing to anyone but me.

Anyway, as you might have noticed (probably not), Self Help Radio is now two hours long.  Something happened to me this week & I said, "I should at the very least do the freeform show.  I mean, two hours of IA2Z is enough, isn't it?"

I suffer from the same inconsistency, by the way, when I am decided what makes the Indiepop A To Z list.  Some postpunk & indie rock bands might make it if my mood is slightly different.  My mood now?  Stern.  Less inclusive.  A little exhausted with being exhaustive.

So I had planned tomorrow's Sugar Substitute to be Indiepop A To Z # 38, with SHR # 39.  I had no idea my show would be expanded to two hours.  I can't see the future.

Confidentially, I can't even see the present.

Second of all, the Indiepop A To Z list continues tomorrow from 7am to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington & online at wrfl dot fm.  Archived later at the show's website.  At that same link are thirty-something previous episodes of the Indiepop A To Z series.  You have time to catch up.  Do so!