ITEM! Stores in America are failing at a slightly humiliating rate! What does the future hold for future entrepreneurs of the future? How bearish can the market bear?
ITEM! Banks won't loan money to just anyone anymore! How will the homeless afford their McMansions now? Can Christopher Nolan's powerful Batman franchise save us?
ITEM! In spite of all the money he has raised, "Batman" is still unrecognizable to my computer's spell-check!
ITEM! I can't remember what I was talking about! Oh yes! The failing United States economy! Boy I'm glad I didn't quit my job when I thought I had to quit my job! I'd be working at one of those Starbucks that they're now closing down!
ITEM! Yes, I have no professional qualifications & would end up working at a coffee shop!
ITEM! But there's no need to panic! Let Self Help Radio panic for you!
ITEM! Yes, the "Panic" show of the Self Help Radio is available for listening to at this very moment! Four out of five dentists recommend it rather than toothpaste for listening to! & really, it's only because I just know four dentists! The fifth dentist didn't want to be my friend! What an asshole!
ITEM! To listen, just push the panic button! Help is on the way!
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