Fancies himself a kind of playboy. Jokes that he gets time off for good behavior. Isn't entirely convinced the haiku is an art form, let alone a form of poetry. Was frightened as a child by a sculpture & hasn't visited an art museum since.
Likes to say he "loves hard & loves often." Listens almost exclusively to radio stations that play music for teenagers. Admits however that he has a soft spot for the Beatles. Proceeds to break into his favorite song, which is "Yellow Submarine."
Used to play tennis but now can't seem to find the time. Has an uncompleted five hundred piece jigsaw puzzle on his dinner table which the cat sleeps on. Remembers that his father had a thing for Zane Grey. Tells everyone he'd like to read more.
Hasn't been to the dentist since probably two thousand and two. Punctuates his sentences with the phrase "I know my stuff." Likes the spring better than the fall because it gets warmer & green is his favorite color. Won't let you get a word in edgewise.
Nearly backed into a group of schoolchildren once. Got lucky because he had been drinking. Wants you to know that he hardly ever gets behind the wheel if he's had even one drink. Insists in any event that he can hold his liquor.
May want to show you his scar from the bypass operation. Has a few funny stories about nurses & morphine if you want to hear them. Becomes very quiet these days when asked about where he worked & his pension. Doesn't understand why it was such a bad thing.
Is getting up to go now. Makes a few well-rehearsed comments about the noises his old bones make. Seems a little forgetful about the etiquette involved with leaving a new acquaintance. Decides to give a little wave & says his goodbyes.
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