(Image from here.)
This week's show is not two hours of me raving about the television show Who's The Boss? I'm sure there are enough songs about Tony Danza, Judith Light, Katherine Helmond, & Alyssa Milano to fill up two hours of programming (not sure if there are any songs about poor Danny Pintauro, though*). So why not? Why not a Danztactular, with Light & Milano & Helmond?
Oh all right. The truth is, there aren't a lot of songs about Tony Danza. When I google "songs about Tony Danza," the number one hit is a misinterpreted Elton John song, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."
What is wrong with the world that there aren't hundreds of songs about Tony Danza? I understand we're living in a world crass enough to not have songs extolling the virtues & talents of a Katherine Helmond, & of course a world where Judith Light sings terrible songs from the 90s, but why hasn't every band in the universe just put pen to paper & composed a magnificent ode to Tony Danza? This is a mystery for the ages; I am ill-equipped to figure it out.
To be sure, there will be talk of Danza & Who's The Boss on tomorrow's show, but the show, sadly, isn't about those delightful subjects. Just the same old boring Self Help Radio junk. However, I would like to believe that these two songs below, by the Pixies & Morrissey respectively, are actually about Tony Danza. I won't play them tomorrow, but I play them forever in my heart.
* That's a gratuitous joke. Sorry.
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