The Most Insidious Song

Might I make a confession?  In the year 1986, I began college, & although I confess I checked in with MTV from time-to-time, I watched very little television - especially dramas & sitcoms.  To this day, I've never seen a single episode of Matlock, which began that year.  Honestly, I've never seen an episode of Hill Street Blues, which ended a year after that.  I didn't watch much television drama, is what I'm trying to say.

But what's more, I didn't watch much television comedy.  I completely missed the television show Head Of The Class, despite starring Howard Hesseman, who was an early inspiration as Dr Johnny Fever on WKRP In Cincinnati.  Well, thanks to the magic of streaming services, the wife & I have been watching the show, which I find occasionally rises above its tired sitcom tropes, & shows some real heart.  Not always, but sometimes.

However, I find the theme song quite problematic.  I don't enjoy it, I use the "skip intro" function at every point, & yet - it has found its way into my headspace.  It begins with a pleasant flute/harpsichord type interaction - probably done entirely on synthesizers - & then vomits itself into the worst 1980s sounding theme possible.  I find it tiresome & toxically catchy & I hate the fact that the opening sequence has star Hesseman, as teacher Charlie Moore, trying to get to school in busy NYC, & buying a hot dog for breakfast.  Maybe it was different in the 1980s, but those guys aren't open for breakfast.  I once approached a hot dog guy at 10:55am & was not spoken to until the clock struck 11.  Sure, the show was shot in Los Angeles like every other TV sitcom but holy smokes they should've known.  No hot dog vendors peddling their wares at 7:30 am!

Which has nothing to do with the theme, which I can't get out of my head.  Still, I enjoy the show.  I plan to watch it even after Hesseman leaves.  I sometimes daydream about remaking the show in a modern way but keeping the 1980s setting & having the kids be more complex & problematic.  Like the 1980s.  Complex & problematic.

& I hope to finish the series soon because I hear its incidental music when I walk into a room.  Why does it affect me so?  It's troubling.  It's quite troubling.