Monday, September 18, 2023

Thinking Better Of Old Disappointments

(image by Luc Fuller, found here)

There's always so much forgiving to do. It can be exhausting, both forgiving & being forgiven, Like watering the bushes in the front of the house, you know it's probably necessary but sometimes it feels like a waste of time.

There's always so much disappointment. That's almost certainly related to expectation. I'm hardly ever disappointed by anything that I have no expectations about. Expectations of? Expectations for?

Is that the basis of Buddhism? I wish my friend Russell were here, he'd laugh at that question & then talk thoughtfully about it. I don't even know what I'd do with a thoughtful discussion at this moment.

On the dog walk tonight it got cold, & it's always interesting when it gets cold again in Portland because you kind of expect it but it's still a bit startling. Maybe I spend too much time in the past. It's not safer there but at least I know what's going to happen. What always happens. What has already happened.

We walked several blocks to our car without incident & some friends of ours told us someone threw a bicycle at them as they existed a restaurant. We love this city, they can't wait to leave. How much is bad fortune do you ever wonder?

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