Preface To Wool: Wool Puns

(Image from this page, also where the puns are.)

You know I occasionally make interstitial bits for my show, hoping to be funny or entertaining. But I've been kinda lacking creativity & motivation this week, so I thought instead of making you endure wool puns of my own devising, I'd let someone else do it. Also, I'd do it on the blog instead of on the radio, hopefully lessening the offense. Here then from punsteria.com are a few wool puns. Go to the page to see them all. Some of them I'll admit I don't quite get. But maybe they're just terrible puns.

1. I was going to tell a great sheep pun, but I didn’t want to pull the wool over your eyes.

2. Ewe won’t believe how soft this wool blanket is!

3. The sheep told me his favorite hobby is wool gathering, but I think he’s just pulling the wool over my eyes.

4. I went to a store that sells wool only on Sunday. It’s the weekend’s newest trend: Sundae Wool!

5. Why did the sheep go on a diet? She felt a little too wool-rounded.

6. What did the lamb say to the shepherd? “I’ve always wanted a wool mate like you!”

7. You know you’re getting old when you start finding comfort in wool socks.

8. The sheep told me he was on a tight schedule because it was wooly urgent.

9. Why do sheep never have stress? They’re always feeling so wool-relaxed.

10. I tried to teach my dog to knit, but all he did was unravel the ball of wool.

11. Some people say sheep are foolish, but obviously, they’ve never seen a wool-class education.

12. The sheep traveled to Egypt, not for wool, but because he heard that Cairo is full of shear delights.

13. Why do sheep make terrible detectives? They always get caught up in wool-gathered theories.

14. I told my friend I’m learning how to spin wool, and she said I must be quite the wool-winder.

15. I took my dog for a walk in his wool sweater. He looked a little sheepish, but boy, was he warm!

16. Ewe will always find me with wool on my mind!

There are many, many more at that link. I don't think they're all that good ("wool-relaxed"?). But at least on that page they have Tom Swifties.

1. “This wool sweater feels so soft,” Tom said sheepishly.
2. “I’ve run out of yarn,” Tom said in a threadbare voice.
3. “Don’t pull on that wool, it’s delicate!” Tom said warily.
4. “The sheep’s wool is so fluffy,” Tom said baaah-shfully.
5. “This wool coat fits perfectly,” Tom said snugly.
6. “This wool blanket is the perfect companion for a chilly night,” Tom said warmly.
7. “The wool in this sweater is itchy,” Tom said scratchily.
8. “I’m making a woolen hat for winter,” Tom said captivatingly.
9. “I prefer real wool over synthetic fibers,” Tom said naturally.
10. “This wool scarf is too long,” Tom said lengthily.

These are mostly awkward but we need more Tom Swifties in our lives so I'll allow them.

Anyway, none of this tomorrow. You're welcome.