Preference To Pandas: Panda On A Picnic Bench (A Poem)

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
Was it a squire? was it a wench?
You see the ren fair was just in town
& you never know when they're here what kinds of shit will go down.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
If only they'd left something useful - like a wrench
I mean I can't repair anything with a toy panda

Around here people think it's just Chinese propaganda.

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
What's worse the only language it speaks is French
& no one can make it what it's trying to say:
Quelqu'un peut-il aider ce pauvre panda s'il vous plaît ?

Someone left a panda on a picnic bench
I'd be a hero, but I can't stand the stench
Yes that's a line from an Elvis Costello song

So if you said "I think he's out of ideas now" well you wouldn't be wrong.