Self Help Radio 112114: The World Of Self Help Radio

(Original image here)

Today's Self Help Radio was an exceedingly ridiculous affair which embarrasses us all.  Still, there was a great deal of good music shared, as well as a poem by Sir Archibald Von Poesy & an interview with Mr. Professor, whose show World Of Science delighted & confused me as a child.  But such things hardly make up for a show with the theme "world of Self Help Radio" in which there's very little about that world & a plethora of material about other words, from a world of one's own to a world of liars.  Which actually might also be a world of one's own.

The songs that were played are below.  The show is available wherever in the world you are at the Self Help Radio website.  Please pay attention to password information.  This is a world of cyberdouches, & they like to pick on dumb websites like my own.

As always, thanks for listening!  To me you are a world of joy.

(part one)

"World Of Glass" Neil MacArthur _She's Not There_
"I'm In A World Of Trouble" Sweet Things _Best Of Soul Time: A Selection Of Northern Soul Classics From The Archives_
"My World Of Dreams" Mary Wells _Looking Back: 1961-1964_

"Wonderful World Of Children" J.P. Rags _Wonderful World Of Children_
"A World Of Our Own" The Seekers _All Bound For Morningtown (EMI Recordings 1964-1968)_
"A World Of My Own" TV Smith's Explorers _The Last Words Of The Great Explorer_
"World Of Your Own" The Skeptics _Snallygaster_

"In A World Of Pretty Faces" The Models _Bend Me, Shape Me_
"Questions In A World Of Blue" Julee Cruise _The Voice Of Love_
"World Of Love" Gentle People _Soundtracks For Living_
"World Of" Tania & Dave MH _World Of_

"Wonderful World Of Sound" Monty Python _Monty Python's Previous Record_
"World Of Whisky" Robin Laing _One For The Road_

(part two)

"World Of Trouble" Big Joe Turner _The Rhythm & Blues Years_
"World Of Trouble" Lou Rawls _Anthology_
"World Of Darkness" David Ruffin _My Whole World Ended_

"The World Of Broken Hearts" Elvis Costello _Imperial Bedroom_
"Rosemary Davis World Of Sound" The Jazz Butcher _Waiting For The Love Bus_
"World Of Your Own" The Mayfields _World Of Your Own_
"The World Of Professional Golf 1994" The Lucksmiths _Get-To-Bed Birds_

"World Of Her Own" The Wake _Here Comes Everybody_
"You Do My World A World Of Good" Harvest Ministers _You Do My World A World Of Good_
"World Of Light" Ivy Green _Dreaming Of You_
"World Of Crime" Cinnamon _Vertigo_

"World Of Liars" The Apartments _Apart_

Whither The World Of Self Help Radio?

It's nearly six o'clock & I'm not done with my show.  What does "done with my show" mean?  It means gathering all the component parts (songs, background music, stupid "comedy" bits I make) & putting them in a rough running order for the show tomorrow.  Why a "rough" running order?  Because inevitably I make changes.  & sometimes people call with requests.  & sometimes I remember something that would fit perfectly & try to find it to play it.  The show's really not finished until it's finished, around 9am on a Friday morning.  As much as I wish differently.

This week's show kind of reveals a flaw in my method of finding themes for the show.  I'm a contrary sort, & I know there are many radio shows that are theme-based (there appear to be at least two more on the WRFL schedule right now, for example).  So I tend not to opt for "easy" themes.  I've never done a show about cars, or women, or rain, & I confess I tended to be a little snooty when I looked at the (to me) generic themes on Bob Dylan's old themes show.  I want my shows to be odd, & somewhat challenging, & they tend to be, whatever you might think of the results.  It nearly broke me, for example, finding enough songs about mummies to do a mummy show for Halloween!

So: I am listening to music, I am noticing a pattern, I start collecting songs.  I probably heard three or four songs a few months back that had the phrase "world of" in the title.  I thought, "Ha! "A World Of Self Help Radio!"  & then started collecting songs.

But there's nothing really to discuss about this theme.  What sort of interviews do you do with people about that theme?  It's downright silly, is what it is.

I think I've been dragging my heels with this show because I'm pretty certain it won't be that good.  I'm sorry about that.  I should've probably ditched this theme like I do so many others.  I could probably put a show about "rain" together pretty quickly.  If I had a mind to.

But no.  The show will go on.  At 7am, lasting till 9am, tomorrow.  On 88.1 fm in Lexington, online at wrfl dot fm.  & later on the website.

"The World Of Self Help Radio."  What a dumb theme!

Preface To The World Of Self Help Radio: Really?

The World Of Self Help Radio.  What world is that?  It's obviously a very small fraction of the World Of Radio, which is, of course, the terminally sick member of the World Of Media.  So why would anyone make a radio show called "the World Of Self Help Radio"?  Is it just that it's on a show called "Self Help Radio"?  Isn't that - nepotism?

According to the Wikipedia, nepotism is "favoritism granted in politics or business to relatives. The term originated with the assignment of nephews to cardinal positions by Catholic popes & bishops. Nepotism is found in the fields of politics, entertainment, business, & religion."

Can I add - radio?

But wait!  Is it nepotism if a radio show is promoting itself?  Isn't a radio show its own promotion?  Do I have to coin a new word: autonepotism?

Perhaps.  But probably not.  One person (perhaps the only person ever) who has listened to Self Help Radio has commented (one imagines), "At least 50% of the show is music I think, which means it's not always the Gary show.  Which could also be called 'the World Of Self Help Radio'!"

Indeed, this seems to be a naked ploy to make the show entirely about Self Help Radio.  It's a scandal & it's a disgrace.

& I am writing this as someone - indeed, the only one - involved in the show.  If I am offended, who is to blame?  Who made the decision, if not me, to have a show entirely about itself?  & if there is no one to whom I answer, who besides me exists to stop me from promoting Self Help Radio inside an episode of Self Help Radio?

Tomorrow, in the blog, I talk to a radio show lawyer about what options I can take against myself & my show to stop this travesty from happening.

(P.S. Is a radio show lawyer a lawyer who appears on a radio show or, as I am beginning to suspect, a person who pretends to be a lawyer on the radio?)

Snow Day

Can a blog take a snow day?  It's fricking cold out there.

Plus I'm doing a late night show tonight.  From 2 to 5 am.  Gotta gather stuff.

Gather music like firewood to keep the airwaves warm.

I should probably nap too.

Is it cold where you are?  The low tonight is supposed to be 12.

The low tonight is a "tweenage."

The wife was complaining that we had no autumn.  She may be right.

It Was Cold Today

I took that picture, of our backyard, this morning.  It's been very cold today & continues to snow, although it probably won't stick or stick around much.  But it has very much affected my mood.  Snow in the middle of November?  Where do I live, Siberia?

Self Help Radio 111414: Seasons

(Original image here.

I feel like I've done a couple of shows about summer, & at least one about spring.  A guest deejay a couple of years ago did a show about autumn, but I've never done one, nor a show about winter.  But who cares?  I did a show about all the seasons!  & I did it on two hours sleep!

It was fun, because in addition to playing lots of music, I got to talk to my Spiritual Advisor, the Reverend Dr. Howard Gently, & to Our Man In Hollywood, Mark Miller.  Plus, Tania called in & sang a song!  All that & tons of great music!  Look at all these exclamation marks!  I need to get some sleep!

The show is available for you to listen at your leisure at Self Help Radio Dot Net.  Please pay attention to the login information.  The songs I played are listed below.

Thanks so much for listening!

(part one)

"Let's Wander Thru The Seasons" Marais & Miranda _More Nature Songs_
"Each Season Changes You" Bob Ensign & The Stump Jumpers _Pickin', Grinnin', & Singin'_
"Queen Of The Seasons" Gordon Terry _Lotta, Lotta Women_

"Turn! Turn! Turn!" Pete Seeger _The Bitter & The Sweet_
"Like The Seasons" Lyme & Cybelle _Follow Me_
"Four Seasons" The Carnival _Fading Yellow: Timeless Pop-Sike & Other Delights 1965-1969, Vol. 6_
"I Love You For All Seasons" The Fuzz _Soul Hits Of The '70s - Didn't It Blow Your Mind? Vol. 4_

"Time Of The Season" Ippu-Do _Radio Fantasy_
"Seasons" Hearts On Fire _Dreams Of Leaving_
"Season Cycle" XTC _Skylarking_
"Girl For All Seasons" The Orange Peels _So Far_

"In Every Season" Pullover _Holiday_
"Seasons" The Ettes _Do You Want Power?_

(part two)

"A Reason For Every Season" Girlfrendo _Surprise, Surprise It's Girlfrendo_
"Whatever Season" Sambassadeur _Sambassadeur_
"High Hawk Season" The Mountain Goats _All Eternals Deck_

"Seasons In The Sun" Black Box Recorder _England Made Me_
"In A City Without Seasons" The One A.M. Radio _Heaven Is Attached By A Slender Thread_
"Seasons" Ian McCulloch _Slideling_

"Seasons" Earth & Fire _Earth & Fire_
"Seasons Change" The Proctors _Everlasting Light_
"When Seasons Change" Curtis Mayfield _There's No Place Like America Today_

"The Seasons Of Love" Ed Ames _When The Snow Is On The Roses_
"Seasons Of My Heart" George Jones _Country Song Hits_

Whither Seasons?

I think I say this too often: I grew up in a place without seasons.

I grew up in a suburb of Dallas, & occasionally it got cold & snowed, but in general, it was hot.  It got hot around the middle of March & stayed hot until the middle of October.  There were no promises that you wouldn't be experiencing 90 degree weather in December.

It was worse in Austin.  I used to joke that Austin had two seasons: hot, & not so hot.  The truth was, the winter was mostly mild (there might be some bitter cold for a week or two, & god help the town if there were ice), & there were always a couple of weeks of spring & fall - those were the times I loved Austin the best.  It was a beautiful city those times, & then it would grow oppressively hot, oppressively humid, with the leaves on the trees always the darkest green.

Moving to Kentucky was a strange revelation.  I tell this story a lot, too:

At a planning meeting at WRFL, the discussion was about perhaps doing an outdoor show in late September, at night.  It was nixed immediately - "It would be too cold" was the immediate concern.

Too cold!  In late September!  I believe that that's when ACL Fest happens in Austin & it's still hot as a furnace around that time!  What a difference a few lines of latitude make.

So I pay attention to seasons.  It got cold today.  It's going to be a long winter.

Self Help Radio's show about seasons will air tomorrow morning (when it'll be 25 degrees out) from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm in Lexington.  It will also stream live on wrfl dot fm.  & later on I'll stick it up on the website.  You know how it is.

Preface To Seasons: Garage Door Replacement

This is something I never thought I'd ever say: we're having our garage door replaced.

Who has garage doors that belong to them?  Who thinks to themselves, "When I grow up, among the things that I will own will be a garage door"?  I guess when I was a kid, I might have imagined that I might one day own a house, or at the very least a car I slept in as I kept a few steps ahead of the law, but a garage door?

The home we currently live in, my wife, my beagles, my cats, & myself, this house which we can say "we own" even though we owe way too much money on it to use the word "own," this house we live in was once owned by a person who was apparently a "slumlord."  We have discovered, piece by piece, the corners he cut to get the cheapest possible things to keep the house warm, dry, not on fire, up to code (but just up to code).  One of those corners was a (possibly self-installed) garage door opener that had been, in its years of use, so poorly & cheaply put together that it was curving & about to split.  It made a horrible racket whenever it opened.  When its innards went bad & we had to get someone in to fix it, the garage door specialists (because there are such things) said that it needed replacing pronto.

Luckily, I was in no way involved in the purchasing of a new garage door.  Frankly, anything having to do with the house, I let the wife choose.  I have no aesthetic opinion about the color of walls or the arrangement of furniture or whatever choice one has to make about garage doors.  (For the record, she chose sandstone.)

Why don't I care?  Because there are far more important things to argue about.  I save my energy for those arguments, not ones about the color of garage doors.  In high school & in college, I put things on the wall - mainly music-related posters - as a way to inform the rare visitor that these were my interests.  I don't care to do that anymore.  It's probably a relief to the wife.

We also have no photos, professionally made or otherwise, of us or the animals on the wall.  I find those weird, like you need to remind yourself that these people are, in fact, related or married to you.  We put pictures on the fridge, but really, if we didn't have them, I wouldn't care.  Time already buries us; one doesn't need peripherals like photos & mail & stickers & magnets to weigh down the already suffocating memories.

As I write this, & listen to music for Friday's show, there's all kinds of knocking & banging noises.  They're almost done.  I'm a little worried, myself - the old, falling-apart garage door was noisy as hell.  This one probably won't be.  & while I'm not a guilty person, & I can't imagine what I'd be doing that the wife can "catch me" at, I did like the noise that indicated she was returning.  That will probably be gone.

Maybe I should make her wear a bell around her neck.

Update: it's a pretty quiet garage door.  Damn.

The Croup

Before the internet, & with no dictionary handy, one had to guess what the hell people were talking about by trying to understand the context.  I guess one could interrupt & ask, but they didn't always seem to be proper or polite, no matter what kind of annoying child or person you were.  When I was a teenager, I would keep a dictionary handy to look up words I didn't know, but often I was so caught up in the reading that I just let it pass - again, trusting in context.

Naturally, many words I thought I knew I didn't really know.

Just now, lost in my dumb thoughts, I remembered being told that a schoolfellow had "the croup."  I must've been very young but also impressionable, because it stayed with me - I think I recall that word in a strange, familiar way.  My childhood reasoning went something like: "Croup sounds horrible.  It sounds like a horrible soup.  A horrible hot soup that burns your insides."

Come to think of it, maybe I had the croup.  I should ask my mother.

Today - as I was saying - I was thinking about "the croup."  Immediately my brain said, "That's a made-up thing if I ever heard one!"  It did sound like something someone would say in fun.  My high school history teacher characterized all colds as "the epizootic."  As in, "Hey, Paul's not here today."  "No, bet he's got the epizootic!"

But croup is for real.  As it says in the Wikipedia,

Croup (or laryngotracheobronchitis) is a respiratory condition usually triggered by an acute viral infection of the upper airway. The infection leads to swelling inside the throat, which interferes with normal breathing and produces the classical symptoms of a "barking" cough, stridor, & hoarseness. It may produce mild, moderate, or severe symptoms, which often worsen at night. It is often treated with a single dose of oral steroids; occasionally inhaled epinephrine is used in more severe cases. Hospitalization is rarely required.

Croup is a relatively common condition that affects about 15% of children at some point, most commonly between 6 months & 5–6 years of age. It is almost never seen in teenagers or adults.

Before the advent of vaccination, croup was frequently caused by diphtheria, & was often fatal. This cause is now a historical one in the Western world due to the success of the diphtheria vaccine & improved hygiene and living standards.

Yay vaccines!

So there's a fifteen percent chance I had the croup when I was a kid.  Sorry - that I had laryngotracheobronchitis.  That doesn't sound like bad soup.

As a postscript: if I had read that definition above in an encyclopedia, I would've had to go get a dictionary to look up the word "stridor."  Never heard it before.  But luckily I just had to click on it.  & I discovered:

Stridor (Latin for "creaking or grating noise") is a high-pitched breath sound resulting from turbulent air flow in the larynx or lower in the bronchial tree.

Though I still wish I had a giant set of encyclopedias.

Autumn Sweater

Do you have a problem with excessive sweating?  Why do people sweat anyway?  The internet says (here):

Sweating is an essential & natural biological process that starts soon after we are born. Sweating, or perspiring, is the body’s mechanism of keeping us cool & preventing us from overheating in a warm environment or during exercise or exertion. Our body also produces sweat when we experience strong emotions or stressful situations, during hormonal changes, & it helps to play a role in fighting infections.

Normally our bodies produce almost 1 liter of sweat per day; however most of this evaporates as soon as it is produced, so we don't notice it. The body produces more sweat during exercise or in warmer environments in order to help cool us down. If a person exercised very hard in the heat they could produce up to 10 liters of sweat in a day.

10 liters of sweat a day?!?  If I knew the metric system I might be horrified!

Oh yeah, so then why do I sweat so much?

Sweat's pretty gross.  Speaking of gross, why do men sweat more than women?  Why do I sweat more than men & women combined?

Checking the Self Help Radio "kind of a table of contents page", one will discover that Self Help Radio has never done a show about sweat.  & this week's show isn't about sweat.  I was just thinking of the song "Autumn Sweater" by Yo La Tengo & my brain, in its dumbass way, imagined for a second that the song wasn't about a piece of clothing but rather about someone perspiring in the fall.

But if there were a show about sweating what songs might we hear?  Of course "Cold Sweat" by James Brown.  "Coldsweat" by the Sugarcubes, sure.  "Sweatbox" by the Wolfgang Press, yes.  Maybe that Jonathan Richman song with the awkward title "The Lovers Are Here & They're Full Of Sweat"?  Not "The Lovers Are Here & They're Covered In Sweat," Jonathan?  "Full Of Sweat"?  Really?

No, I'm not ready to tackle a show about sweat just yet.  It gives me the sweats thinking about it.  I'm not going to sweat it, though - & even if I did, & I was too sweaty, it doesn't matter!  It's cold out!  I just sweat inside my sweater & no one notices.  Except maybe the smell.

Self Help Radio 110714: Saws

I know, right?  A radio show about saws?  I'm not even a crafty guy!  Ask my wife.  She wishes I would take up carpentry or something like that.  The most sawyer I am, alas, is Tom.  & I have a fence to paint.

Still, I managed to rustle up a couple hours worth of saw songs.  The show only aired ninety minutes, because I gave the last half hour to my trainee, Ethan, who did wonderfully.  At home, later, I added thirty minutes of music, to bring it to the full two hours.  So if you heard the show this morning - there's bonus content!  Suddenly I feel like a Blu-Ray Video Disc!

The show is listenable (arguably listenable) at the Self Help Radio website.  Please pay attention to passwords & such, available on the page.  The sawsy songs I played are listed below.

As always, thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Cross Cut Saw Blues" Tommy McClennan _Big Joe Williams & The Stars Of Mississippi Blues_
"The Great Big Saw Came Nearer & Nearer" Spike Jones & His City Slickers _...And The Great Big Saw Came Nearer & Nearer & Nearer & Nearer & Nearer!_
"Saw Funny Rug" Hajime Sakita _Musical Saw Songs "S"_

"Chainsaws" Drew Hastings _Farmageddon_
"Chainsaw" The Cut-Outs _'No More Of Your Fairy Stories': An Indiepop Loveletter To The Ramones_
"Chainsaw" Fat Tulips _Starfish_
"Chainsaw" Miss Alex White & The Red Orchestra _Miss Alex White & The Red Orchestra_
"Chainsaw Charlie" Angry Johnny & The Killbillies _Hankenstein_

"Buzzsaw" The Turtles _The Turtles Present The Battle Of The Bands_
"God's Buzzsaw" Ya Ya Choral _Can't Stop It! II : Australian Post-Punk 1979-1984_
"Radial Arm Saws" The Styrenes _It's Still Artastic_
"Pavement Saw" Big Black _Songs About Fucking_

"Saw Mill" Buck Owens _On The Bandstand_
"Son Of A Sawmill Man" Osborne Brothers _Up To Date & Down To Earth_
"The Day The Saw Mill Closed Down" Bobby Bare _A Bird Named Yesterday_

(part two)

"Saw Mill River Road" Chet Atkins _Mr. Guitar: The Complete Recordings 1955-1960_
"Sawmill" Miles Davis & John Lee Hooker _The Hot Spot_
"Sawmill Holler" Watermelon Slim & The Workers _The Wheel Man_

"I Broke My Saw" Love Tractor _Themes From Venus_
"My Buzzsaw Baby (Really Cut Me Up)" Johnnys _My Buzzsaw Baby (Really Cut Me Up)_
"Not Track Five, Not Chainsaw Juggler" Mitch Hedberg _Mitch All Together_
"The Saw-Playing Musician" Utah Phillips _Fellow Workers_
"Saw & Calliope Organ On Wire" The Music Tapes _Mary's Voice_

"Sawing On The Strings" The Mayfield Brothers _Vintage Recordings 1948-1956_
"Saw Fiddle Saw" Red Steagall _It's Our Life_
"Chainsaw" Little Gold _Weird Freedom_
"The Black Country Chainsaw Massacreee" Pop Will Eat Itself _CD86: 48 Tracks From The Birth Of Indie Pop_
"Bury The Hatchet, The Chainsaw, & Whatever Else You Got" Hair _The Magic's Gone_

"Buzz Saw" Xiu Xiu _The Air Force_
"Sawed Off" Dub Narcotic Sound System _Out Of Your Mind_
"Chainsaw The Horse" The Dentists _Dressed_

Whither Saws?

In the beginning, there was a song.  Or two.  Both of them had the word "buzz saw" in them.  It seemed promising.  An idea had begun.

An idea that got lonesome.  Because there were so few "saw" songs forthcoming.  Maybe a song about a chainsaw here.  A song about a sawmill there.  More often there were the temptation songs.

The songs about "see-saws."  There are a lot of us see-saw songs, they's see-sing in a sing-song voice.  & they were right.  There were a lot of see-saw songs.

But in the back of your head, you said to yourself, The saw in see-saw is just the past tense of 'see.'  It refers to the experience on the playground toy.  It's not a saw like a buzzsaw or a chainsaw!

The songs about "jigsaws" were next.  We're actually named after a type of saw, they said in rumbly-mumbly way, like pieces of a puzzle poured out of a box.  There are loads of us, boxes full of us!

But in the back of your head, you told yourself, The jigsaw may be what is used to cut the puzzle pieces but the songs are about the puzzle itself.  They aren't really songs about an actual jigsaw.

& many weeks passed, & you would think about the saw show, & the songs that inspired it.  & one day, in a fit of pique, you said out loud, to the universe, I will do a show about saws!  & I will find songs about saws to fill an entire show!  & if there are not enough saw songs, I shall write & perform enough for the show!

The universe is indifferent, but thankfully it turns out there are plenty of songs about saws, enough to fill an entire show.  Anyone interested will be able to hear them tomorrow morning on Self Help Radio.

It's on from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  It'll stream simultaneously on wrfl dot fm.  Later in the day, it'll come to rest on self help radio dot net.  Where it shall sleep, & dream of a log being sawed, which will emulate its snoring.

Preface To Saws: Call Of Duty

I asked the wife if we'd seen more than the first "Saw" movie, which was very successful & spawned seven or so sequels (including one called "The Final Chapter," although I'm sure there'll be more of that cash cow, even though there are diminishing returns which each Roman numeral after the title), & she assures me we saw at least the first two.  I have no memory of them - even reading the summary on the IMDb, it doesn't sound familiar to me.  IFC did a marathon over Halloween & I'd swear in court I never saw any Saw movie.

That's just age, though.  I've forgotten more movies, perhaps, than I'll see in the rest of my life.

I had to sub a show on RFL tonight so I am a little discombobulated.  Also, I want to watch Arrow but the wife wants to finish last night's Sons Of Anarchy & then watch American Horror Story.  But I want to watch Arrow!  & drink a lot of wine.  But I don't have any wine & I don't get to watch Arrow.  Unhappy face.

Musical Saws

On this depressing election night, I am retreating into my show, which this week is about saws.  One of the things I plan to play are people using the saw as a musical instrument.  So here's a fellow playing my favorite Beethoven piece, the Moonlight Sonata.  Enjoy!

Something I Like

I spend a lot of time bouncing around nonsense on the internets, most of it being amused, some of it educating myself, & a few times I find stuff that really knocks my socks off.  Today, I discovered these paintings by Gill Rocca, a sample of which is above.  Socks were knocked off.  Why?  I like the fogginess, the blurriness, the way the absence or lack of light is so impressionistically captured.  The link has more of this artist's moving paintings.

Self Help Radio 103114: Halloween 2014 - Mummies!

Original image here

It was hard but rewarding to find two hours worth of songs about mummies but find them I did & that was today's show.  I did have to break into a pharaoh's tomb to get some of the music, but you & I know that those curses are a bunch of hooey, right?  Right?  Oh no.

The show can be listened to at the Self Help Radio web page now & well past Halloween.  Hey, & if you want to hear some of my previous Halloween shows, they're at the top of my Self Help Radio archive page for today - shows about hell, haunted houses, graveyards, nightmares, & zombies are there - in addition to the mummy show I did today.  Maybe perfect for your Halloween party?  Probably not.

Have a safe one & thanks for listening - the mummy songs I played are below.

(part one)

"The Mummy" Bob McFadden & Dor _Songs Our Mummy Taught Us_
"The Mummy" Marshmallow Overcoat _The Very Best Of Marshmallow Overcoat_
"The Mummy's Bracelet" Lee Ross _Bomp In The Night_
"The Mummy" Uncle Vin _Boo_

"The Mummy" The Naturals _The Mummy_
"Homemade Mummy" Aesop Rock _Skelethon_
"The Mummy's Ball" The Verdicts _These Ghoulish Things: Horror Hits For Halloween_
"When I See Mommy I Feel Like A Mummy" Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band _Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)_

"Me & My Mummy" Bobby 'Boris' Pickett & The Crypt Kickers _The Original Monster Mash_
"Mummy Beach" Hot Lava _Lavalogy_
"My Mummy" Mel Calvin & The Kokonuts _My Mummy_
"My Daddy Is A Mummy" Richard Thompson _RT: The Life & Music Of Richard Thompson_
"The Mummy" Benji Hughes _A Love Extreme_

"The Mummy Piece" William S. Burroughs _Best Of William S. Burroughs: From Giorno Poetry Systems_
"Sarcophagus" Telephone Company _The King's Surprise?_

(part two)

"Mummies" Toyah _The Blue Meaning_
"The Mummy" Jad & David Fair _26 Monster Songs For Children (A-Z)_
"Mummy Walk" Bo Diddley _Hey! Bo Diddley_
"The Mummy's Monkey" The Eastsiders _Halloween Oldies But Goodies Of The '50s & '60s_

"The Mummy" The Slackers _The Question_
"The Way Out Mummy" Bob Ridgely _Lost Treasures! Rarities From The Vaults Of Del-Fi_
"The Mummy" Black Time _Midnight World_
"Mummy's Curse" Luna Vegas _Second Shot_

"The Mummy" 4Corners Crew _Show Me The Lighta EP_
"Bad News" Spooklight _Spooklight_
"Mummified" Future Clouds & Radar _Peoria_

"King Tut" Steve Martin _A Wild & Crazy Guy_
"Tutankhamun" Dynasty _The Electric Asylum, Vol. 3_
"The Mummy's Revenge" Wade Denning & Frank Daniels _Monster Mash (Sounds Of Terror!)_

Whither Mummies?

I have a hell of a thing going with these Halloween shows.  I don't like to repeat myself (well, except for anniversary shows); even the shows I do every year that are about the same - like the Christmas show - I try to play stuff I have never played before.  So if I'm going to do a different Halloween show every year, at some point, I'm going to run out of Halloween icons, right?

Here's what I've done so far in my twelve long years on this show:

2002: general Halloween songs
2003: ghosts
2004: (no Halloween show)
2005: vampires
2006: monsters
2007: zombies
2008: witches
2009: werewolves
2010: haunted houses
2011: graveyards
2012: nightmares
2013: hell

I've complained about this before - I'm running out of scary things!  With mummies, I believe, I've finished off the golden age pantheon of movie monsters.  What can I do next year?  I don't know!

Please listen to my ridiculous mummy show tomorrow from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington, & online at wrfl dot fm.  & I'll put it up in time for Halloween if you so desire at the Self Help Radio website.

Preface To Mummies: Run For Your Life, Charlie Brown!

User CitizenWolfie has created a fabulous collection of Schulz-inspired Halloween creatures which he calls Run For Your Life, Charlie Brown!  I have included above, appropriately, his "Linus as the Mummy" drawing above for your pleasure.

Visit the link!  They're all great!

Is It Cater-Corner Or Kitty-Corner?

This might not be a question they ask in England or Australia - I've heard people with accents pronounce the "cater" in "cater-corner" like the word "cater" as in "I want to have a vegetarian restaurant cater my Thanksgiving" or "I won't cater to your whims, human" (which is something my cats say to me all the time).

But in the States, we say "cater-corner" as if we're saying "cat" in the "corner."  Which is why I think some people say "kitty-corner," since "cat" & "kitty" are both names for those fickle beasts to whom we give our love, only to watch most of them treat our hearts like crippled mice, & play with them.

Sob!

The great Word Detective, who you can read at word-detective.com, & who'll get you addicted to etymology, tells the story of this weird word here, which I will reproduce below:

"Cattycorner" does not actually have anything to do with cats, although cats are notoriously fond of sitting in corners and staring at the wall (at least mine are). The proper word, in fact, is "catercorner" or "catercornered." The "cater" is an Anglicization of the French "quatre," or "four," and "catercornered" originally just meant "four-cornered." To specify that something is "catercorner across" from something else is to stress the diagonal axis of an imaginary box, as opposed to saying "directly across" or just "across."

According to the Dictionary of American Regional English, our great national repository of English as real folks speak it, "catercorner" first appeared around 1883 in the South, and originally meant "askew" or "out of line." The "diagonally across" meaning soon took over, however, as did the transition from "cater" to "catty." Linguists call this process "folk etymology" -- people replacing an unfamiliar element in a word or phrase ("cater") with a familiar one ("catty" or "kitty"). "Cattycorner" has remained purely an Americanism, so don't expect folks to understand the word if you use it on your next trip to London.

Now, I know other countries are familiar with this word, or at least the brainiacs in the Lucksmiths do, since they use it (pronouncing it with a long a) in the song Midweek Midmorning.  Nyah.

I miss the Lucksmiths.  That's a brilliant song.  I remember when I bought the single way back when.

Why am I thinking of this?  Because as I sit here working on my next show (the Halloween show, about mummies, this Friday), I can hear the sounds of children screaming.  That's a daunting sentence, implying horrors, with the words "Halloween" & "scream" so close together, but actually, I live with a daycare-in-a-church catercorner from my house, & children scream when they're playing, mainly to annoy me.  My dogs & cats, who doubtless have more excellent hearing than I do, seem unfazed, but it alarms me every time one of them lets out a particularly screechy shriek.  I think the people hired to watch over them (who, I found out, have the inflated title "teachers") wear earplugs while the kinders play.

Anyway, I answered my own question by going to the Word Detective: it's catercorner.  Not even a dash!

Forget I said anything.

A Comedy Of Terrors

You think you're so clever, making a pun on a Shakespeare play (& referencing something your wife has taken to saying when the pets do something funny) & then you check on it.  You discover (naturally) that this simple-to-make pun has been used probably since the first critic of the play.

"Master Shakespeare's new play is not so funny; indeed, one might call it a comedy of terrors!" - The Stratford-On-Avon Times

Check it out: it's a horror film with Peter Lorre, Boris Karloff, & Vincent Price (using the article "the" instead of "a"), & also a Bollywood film that has a little infamy because it was sued by Warner Brothers for apparently ripping off Harry Potter (although it seems to have mostly ripped off Home Alone).  Plus it's an eBook & also someone wants to make it a role playing game.  Now it's the title of one of my dumb blog posts!

Shakespeare's play is about two twins separated at birth that end up in the same city & hilarity ensues.  The Comedy Of Terrors is about an undertaker who kills people to get more clients.  Wouldn't it have been more fun to have Karloff & Price be two killers who were separated at birth?  A real opportunity was missed there.

I can't imagine there'll be much comedy in my show this week, or do I mean terror?  There are quite a few songs about mummies (it's my Halloween show!) & a lot of them are novelty tunes.  I suppose I'll talk about that a bit more as the week wears on.

Self Help Radio 102414: Walk Away

(Original photo here.

This morning there was a Self Help Radio with the improbable theme "walk away."  I wonder how many people subconsciously stop listening to a radio show that constantly tells them to walk away?  It's something I should've thought through before I went ahead & did it.

But!  Did it I did, & it's available now at the Self Help Radio website for your listening ambivalence.  Pay attention to the password information on the page.  & you can see the songs I played below.

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Walking Away by C. Day Lewis" Jill Balcon _Poetry Please: The Anniversary Edition_
"Walk Away" Jess Conrad _Jess For You: The Decca Singles Compilation_
"I Walked Away" T-Bone Walker _The Complete Imperial Recordings: 1950-1954_
"Walk Away" Mitty Collier _Shades Of Mitty Collier: The Chess Singles 1961-1968_

"Walk Away Renee" The Left Banke _There's Gonna Be A Storm: The Complete Recordings 1966-69_
"Walk Away Renee" Billy Bragg _Reaching To The Converted_
"Walk Away" Suburban 9 To 5 _Quagmire, Vol. 7_
"Walkin' Away" The Fifth Order _Sixties Rebellion, Vol. 1_
"Walk Away" The Dirty Shames _Coconut Grove_

"Walk Away" Ann Peebles _This Is Ann Peebles_
"Love You Just Can't Walk Away" Dean Courtney _Big City Soul, Vol. 3_
"Walk Away" Frank Sinatra _The Complete Reprise Studio Recordings_
"As If You Walked Away" Claudine Longet _Cuddle Up With Claudine Longet: The Complete Barnaby Records Sessions 1970/74_
"Walk Away From Love" David Ruffin _Hard To Find Motown, Vol. 1_

"Walk Away" TV Smith's Explorers _The Last Words Of The Great Explorer_
"Laugh & Walk Away" Shirts _Street Light Shine_

(part two)

"Walk Away Boy" The Hit Parade _The Sound Of The Hit Parade_
"All You Ever Do Is Walk Away" The Magnetic Fields _Holiday_
"Walk Away" The Sisters Of Mercy _First & Last & Always_

"Walk Away" The English Beat _Wha'ppen?_
"Don't You Walk Away From Me" Miss Ludella Black & The Masonics _From This Witness Stand_
"Walk Away" Pink Industry _Who Told You, You Were Naked?_
"Don't Walk Away From Love" Simon Bonney _Everyman_

"Walk Away" The Sleepers _Painless Nights_
"Walked Away" Shirley Lee _Shirley Lee_
"Walk Away" Tony Molina _Dissed & Dismissed_
"I Love You When You're Walking Away" Plumtree _Moshi Moshi (Pop International Style)_

"Atmosphere" Joy Division _Closer_
"Walk Away" Shimmering Stars _Violent Hearts_
"She Tore It Up & Walked Away" Go-Kart Mozart _Instant Wigwam & Igloo Mixture_

Whither Walk Away?

This is a story about a man named Gary, who was always walking away.  For example, when he was
young, in the mornings, he often walked away from his home, &, later, walked away from the school where he spent his days.

Later, he walked away from every class he took, at least once a day.  When he got older, he walked away from home nearly every weekday morning, & then in the late afternoon, sometimes later, he'd walk away from the place he worked.  He did it so many times, it's a wonder he was never fired!

He does a radio show now, on Friday mornings.  But after two hours, he walks away from it.  Every week.  & perhaps to flaunt it, this week he's doing a show with the theme "walk away."  What nerve!  What gall!

Don't encourage this disrespectful behavior!  If you have the radio tuned to 88.1 fm WRFL (or are listening online at wrfl dot fm) tomorrow morning from 7 to 9 am, just walk away from the show.  Make him understand what it feels like, all that walking away!

It's more well-mannered to run away, after all.

Preface To Walk Away: Walk Over Here

Is it that time of the time again that I plug the Self Help Radio Tumblr site?  Initially I used the site for music videos because I had no other real use for it.  Now I use it as a place to put all the dumb digital photos I take when I am walking the dogs or am walking around in other places, including my home.  Some pictures I think are neat, some I think are dumb, & some I think are curious, but none of them I think are good compared to photographers who have a great eye.

I especially like the pictures I take that are turn out fine even though the circumstances are accidental.  This one, which was taken on my dog Pauline's birthday, was me snapping the picture before she got into place - but it was better than any other picture I took of her that day:

Anyway, there are lots of pictures of stuff that I notice while I'm walking, & lots of pictures of my pets, & thankfully no pictures of me, at selfhelpradio.tumblr.com.

All right!  Time to stop the bad self-promotion for awhile.  I'm really uncomfortable with it.

Dreams Are Boring

A scientific fact: dreams are boring.  Not individual dreams specific to the dreamer.  Dreams except for ones that you have dreamt are boring.  Unless.  Unless you believe dreams are full of hidden imagery, a signal that your subconscious is trying to explain you to yourself, or any number of supernatural other explanations of dreams.  In that case, both the dreams & the people who feel that way about dreams are boring.

It's fun to fuck with people like that.  They're so self-important & faux-earnest.  One fellow I knew, once upon a time, when I was telling someone else within his earshot about a recent dream (I was boring the hell out of her, though it had been a neat dream), overheard me say something in the (long-forgotten) dream about a window.  "Whoa," he said, exaggeratedly wide-eyed in an exaggerated manner, "Don't you know how important it is when you dream about windows?"

Boring.  But I affected a wide-eyed manner & asked him to explain what windows mean in dreams.  It didn't take too long before he used the word "archetype" & of course "Jung," which he pronounced with a hard J.  The other person I was talking to knew I was pretending like I gave a shit, so she did her best to stifle her laughter.  It ended with the dream interpreter giving me his card & telling me he'd give me a discount on the first visit.

Having said all that, I have to tell you about a dream I recently had.

No, I don't.  I don't have to.  I feel compelled to tell you because sometimes dreams are the most interesting thing to happen to me.  They're not only interesting to me, they're mostly consistently interesting.  Things one might think are interesting that I do aren't always as interesting.  For example: I enjoy doing my radio show, but talking to people about my radio show, the process of doing the radio show, things that may happen behind the scenes during my radio show, those aren't usually too terribly interesting.  The show itself may be interesting (probably not) but what I do during the show - with the exception of the occasional goofy phone call - not too interesting.

My dreams, though - virtually every morning I wake up & think: wow, that was an interesting thing that happened to me!

One reason dreams are boring to anyone except the dreamer is that most dreams are experiences that are felt & don't travel in a narrative arc.  Last night, I dreamt that I was in a bad part of town (what town? who knows? in the dream KVRX & WRFL were basically the same place) but when I wanted to show the bad part of town to someone, suddenly there were shops & stores there, & it didn't seem as derelict as I believed it was earlier in the dream.  The whole place changed, & I was a little surprised, but the dream moved on.  That was probably very boring, but it wasn't for me, & whatever the narrative was in the dream, I thought about it a lot when I was waking up.

In fact, I (& I'm probably not alone) often try to get back to dreams if I am wakened before the time I've supposed to actually get up.  That's how interesting my dreams are to me!

& yet - boy, are dreams boring.  It's sneaky of me to have shared a snippet of a dream in this denunciation of dreams.  I didn't meant to be sneaky.  I needed to make a point.  A point of how tedious dreams are.  Oh my god.  Let's not talk about dreams anymore.  Not to each other.

Please.

The Weather Turns

I've probably observed/complained here before that I now live in a place where it's cold much more often than it's hot.  Having grown up in Texas, & spent most of that time in Austin, I am used to the opposite.  Austin has a fitful winter, which is often interrupted with warm spells, & a truncated autumn & spring.  Lexington (where I now live) tends to have a spring that slowly frees itself from the icy muck of winter & then casually waits around for summer to get started.

But autumn officially began last month & the idea of it has taken hold.  I write this with a window to my left, & out of the corner of my eye I can see the occasional yellow leaf fall.  The trees here are still mainly green, but there are those that have embraced the autumn colors of red, orange, yellow, & a few that have already dumped their leaves for the winter.

& it's colder.  This week it'll get no higher than 70 degrees Fahrenheit.  Just like the house gets warmer when it's warmer outside, it gets colder in here when the nights are below 40 degrees,

But the reason this is on my mind is not because I think you're interested in the weather, or even my banal observations about differences in geography.  It's because - well, here, let me show you.  This is what my left hand looks like right now:

(I couldn't take a picture of both hands because one had to hold the camera, but my right hand is equally attired.)

I am not a beggar on the cold streets of London - I am a person whose hands are freezing.

That was the most fascinating thing about living in this part of the world - it gets cold in your house during the winter, & one's extremities get cold.  When we first moved here - the first season in this clime - I suffered through the entire winter with frozen hands.  My arms, legs, feet, even head, I could keep covered, but as long as I was tapping on my computer, my hands were exposed & it was cold.

& generally speaking, it's hard to use a keyboard in mittens or your average winter gloves.  It was probably the wife who suggested these - probably after watching me try to warm my hands by sitting on them, or, worse, putting them down my pants.  To warm them, I mean.  Anyway.

(My fingers are still cold.)

The summer seems short now, but there were days when the heat & humidity were pretty unbearable.  All of that now is so very far away - we have at least six months now of mainly cold, cold weather, with the prospect of a crippling winter & the return of the polar vortex on the grey horizon.

My dumb point is this: when the weather turns around here, it doesn't turn back.  Not for a while.

Self Help Radio 101714: Soup

Mmm, soup!

Lots of soupy songs today (including soups that may not exist) & some soupy talk on the show.  I have nothing really to add, except the show has been sufficiently salted.  You really don't need to add any more.  Think of your blood pressure!

The show can be listened to now & any time really at the Self Help Radio website.  Pay attention to the password info!  & the songs I played are listed below.

Enjoy!

(part one)

"The Soup Song" New Singers _Songs For Political Action: Folk Music, Topical Songs & The American Left 1935-1954, Vol. 1 - The Leftist Roots Of The Folk Revival_
"No Soup" Charioteers _Swing Low, Sweet Charioteers_
"Soup" The Impacts _Now Is The Time_

"Chicken Soup With Rice" Tammy Grimes _Where The Wild Things Are & Other Stories by Maurice Sendak_
"Strange Things In My Soup" Allan Sherman _My Son The Box_
"Romany Soup" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_
"The Same Old Soup" Joe Tex _Green Green Grass Of Home_

"The Wonderful Soup Stone" Bobby Bare _Bobby Bare Sings Lullabys, Legends, & Lies_
"Praise The Lord & Pass The Soup" Johnny Cash _The Folk Singer_
"(Take Your Elbow Out The Soup) You're Sitting On The Chicken" Ian Dury & The Blockheads _Laughter_
"Too Many Cooks (Spoil The Soup)" The 8th Day _The 8th Day_

"Soup Pot" The Billy Nayer Show _The Billy Nayer Show_
"Soup Spiller" Bitter Springs _Five Die Filming This Lazy Lark_
"Cold Dog Soup" Guy Clark _Cold Dog Soup_

(part two)

"Soup" The Mighty Boosh _The Complete BBC Radio 4 Series The Mighty Boosh_
"Pumpkin Soup & Mashed Potatoes" The Fall _The Unutterable_
"Stone Soup" King Khan & The Shrines _Mr. Supernatural_
"Ketchup Soup" Teen Idols _Short Music For Short People_

"Nine Bowls Of Soup" They Might Be Giants _Here Come The 123s_
"Soup" MJ Hibbett _Hibbett's Superstore_
"Soup" The Wedding Present _El Rey_
"Can Of Soup" Deniz Tek _Detroit_

"Alphabet Soup" Catnaps _Why Don't You Whisper?_
"Eyeball Soup" The Uncluded _Hokey Fright_
"Quantum Soup" Laetitia Sadier _Something Shines_

"Soup" Can _Ege Bamyasi_

Whither Soup?

Do you need a reason, ever, to do a radio show about food?  I try to stay away from food, myself, on the radio, mainly because there are lots of songs about meat, & I don't want to play them.  I remember reviewing a CD recently in which a person talked about going to heaven & eating barbecue up there.  It completely baffled me that someone would imagine going to heaven - the place where the god they believe in lives - & they'd still slaughter animals to eat.  It conjures up the image of the soul of a poor calf mistreated & murdered for veal, & its soul rising up to heaven, & once there - it gets murdered again!  How awful!

There are a few meat soup songs on tomorrow's show, I confess.  I suffered through them.  But mostly, you know, the soup songs are silly or metaphorical.  Like all that is important in life.

Is that true?

The show's on tomorrow morning from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL in Lexington.  It's also online at WRFL dot FM.  & of course I'll keep the soup show warm & put it on the
Self Help Radio website.

But if there's no bread left when you get there, it's your own damn fault!

Preface To Soup: I Was In Louisville All Day

I went to Louisville to see an old friend.  We ate at a weird fusion sushi bar & then had whiskey across the street at a bar waiting for people who want to dance to show up.  I took my friend to his hotel as soon as the people who wanted to dance started showing up.

I didn't have any soup at the sushi restaurant.  I think I'll make myself some soup tomorrow.  Because I should.

Comic Book Nerd Television Show Round-Up

No one cares, but I should mention that my dumb ratings for dumb comic book television shows if not for you but for me why the hell not?

"Gotham" is not terribly interesting at this point.  I wish someone like Ed Brubaker were writing it.  It seems to suffer from what I call "episoditis," a disease that afflicts television shows that want to stay on the air as long as possible.  The show treads water as long as it can, waiting for milestones or (more likely) ratings weeks to do interesting things.  It's the reason cable is better than network television.  Apparently there'll be a full season of the show, but it needs to find some kind of focus or else no one will give a shit.  Despite being extremely fertile ground for storytelling.

Tonight's "Agents Of SHIELD" was fun but I am still not interested much in the show.  Clark Gregg is great as Coulson but I often find his wisecracking, in the context of the show, utterly awkward & baffling.  But I stick with it despite, seriously, being bored with most of what's going down because, & I can't stress this enough, I watched all ten seasons of Smallville
.  So if I finally give up on this show in a couple of years, no skin off my back.  I wish it were better.  But I forget it, most of the time, right after I've seen it.
"The Flash" is a lot of fun, & the machinations of Professor Zoom are enough to keep me at the edge of my seat.  It's only two episodes in, so I reserve the right to change my opinion later, but I've enjoyed the two episodes I've seen.  I just hope they don't kill the whole "he's new at this!" to death.  Barry Allen is a smart guy.  He'll learn fast.  Get it?  "Fast"?  Why aren't I writing this show?

"Arrow" was the best comic book show I've watched in a long time the last two seasons.  Ask me in December how I'm feeling.  I'm still a little heartbroken at the death of Caity Lotz's character.  Let's hope she gets a superhero show all her own.  Oh my!  Caity Lotz as Wonder Woman?  Did I say that out loud?

I Am Skeered Of Twitter

There are two (or maybe three, why in the world would I even attempt to make this sort of generalization) kinds of folks on the Twitter:

1) Funny people being clever.

2) People who think Twitter is like Facebook but they don't know everyone can see everything they write.

Now that I think about it, there are more, which includes people who promote shit on Twitter plus people who forward things on Twitter, & really, how different is Twitter really from Facebook because oh who care there's no argument here move along.

I feel like I can't be genuine on Twitter because I represent a radio show but also I feel like I can't compete with the funny people because I'm not really funny.

This is an example of a Twit I wrote today:

"Someone asked me how long I've been married & if I had 'the seven year itch.' I said I might have, but it turned out to be terrible eczema."

Not funny!  Someone's done this before!  It made random people laugh but they're not Twitter!  What the fuck am I doing?

Ah well.  I'm used to this.

Self Help Radio 101014: Heaven Revisited (A 12th Anniversary Show)

Yay! 12 years of Self Help Radio! Oh boy! Oh no!

I think it was a fun show.  I like being able to do an entire show with every song having the same title.  I've only done that once before.  & I may never get a third chance.

The show features twenty-four songs called "Heaven" (not counting the songs in the airbreaks over which I talk, which are also called "Heaven") plus interviews with heaven expert Jeff Stevenson, with author Charmagne Fluffernutter, author of The Six Animals You Meet In Heaven, & with my spiritual advisor, the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently, who knows a thing or two about heaven.  Again, it was a fun show, although not good enough to justify twelves years of this nonsense.  Twelve years!  Where did my life go?

Listen at the Self Help Radio website!  Pay attention to password info.  Pray there's not twelve more years of this!

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Heaven" Joey & The Lexingtons _Heaven_
"Heaven" The Rascals _Freedom Suite_
"Heaven" Boxcar Willie _20 Great Tracks_

"Heaven" Pere Ubu _Datapanik in the Year Zero: 1975-1977_
"Heaven" Squeeze _East Side Story_
"Heaven" Girls At Our Best! _Pleasure_
"Heaven" Psychedelic Furs _Mirror Moves_

"Heaven" Talking Heads _Stop Making Sense_
"Heaven" Robyn Hitchcock _Fegmania!_
"Heaven" Eurthymics _Savage_

"Heaven" Kristin Hersh _Strange Angels_
"Heaven" The Woodentops _Wooden Foot Cops On The Highway_

(part two)

"Heaven" The Frazier Chorus _Ray_
"Heaven" The Golden Palominos _Pure_

"Heaven" Majestic _The Majestic 12 Years 1994-1998_
"Heaven" The Rapture _Echoes_
"Heaven" Bitter:Sweet _The Mating Game_
"Heaven" Club 8 _The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Dreaming_

"Heaven" Envelopes _Here Comes The Wind_
"Heaven" Pocket (feat. Mark Burgess) _A Force Of Nature_
"Heaven" Frankie Rose _Herein Wild_

"Heaven" Popstrangers _Antipodes_
"Heaven" ChameleonsVox _m+d=1(8)_
"Heaven" Pomegranates _Heaven_

Whither Heaven?

On December 3, 2003, I did what was somewhere between my 45th & 49th episode of Self Help Radio*.  The theme was heaven.  My show in those days was an hour long, & not terribly well-constructed**.  I didn't, for example, have music under my voice during airbreaks.  In a real sense, I was still "finding my voice" for the show.

I believe I have a tape of that show, but I didn't think about playing it till just now, & I don't have time to try to find it & digitize it.  Too bad!  It would be interesting to listen to it!***

In 2008, when the show was six years old, I hit upon the idea of revisiting an old theme on my anniversary.  So when this, my twelfth anniversary, rolled around, & I was looking at old playlists, it hit me that I could re-explore a theme & also do something I love to do (I've only done it once before, though): have a show where all the songs on the show have the same title.  It'll happen tomorrow: the show will revisit the theme "Heaven" & all the songs will be called "Heaven."  Yay!

It's on Friday morning from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm in Lexington or online at WRFL dot fm.  If you're celebrating the anniversary early, & aren't able to wake up early enough, I understand, & I'll put the show on my website later in the day.

Twelve years!  I can't imagine there'll be twelve more.

* I don't know how to count which shows are official shows.  At that time, there was a show called "The Pilot Show" the hour before SHR.  I was the person tasked with being there to watch over new & trainee programmers.  Oftentimes, they would cancel at the last minute, so I made it a habit to have an extra themed show prepared in the case that that occurred, which it did somewhat often.  But do I count those?  If so, 49th is the more or less right number.

** Yeah, yeah.

*** For interesting, read: painful.

Week Of Heaven: Thursday

Last day of Self Help Radio's anniversary week celebration of obvious songs.  Because the show debuted in Austin on 10/9/02 - exactly twelve years ago today! - this week the show revisits an old theme - "heaven."  Here's the last music video with "Heaven" as its title - & all the songs I'll play tomorrow will be titled "Heaven" - today it's the Eurythmics!

Week Of Heaven: Wednesday

Continuing Self Help Radio's anniversary week - the show began on October 9, 2002 - I revisit an old theme on anniversary shows - I'll return to the theme "heaven" (first visited in December 2003) & every song I play on Friday will be called "Heaven." I'm posting videos of the most obvious "Heaven" songs I know. Yeah, they're all from 1978 - 1987. Today: Robyn Hitchcock!

Week Of Heaven: Tuesday

As I said yesterday, this week's show is Self Help Radio's 12th Anniversary.  On my anniversary shows, I revisit an old theme, & so I'll be revisiting the theme "heaven" &  every song I play on will be called "Heaven."  I'm posting videos of the most obvious "Heaven" songs I know.  No surprise: they're all from 1978 - 1987.  Today: Psychedelic Furs!

Week Of Heaven: Monday

This week's show is Self Help Radio's 12th Anniversary.  The show first went on the air on October 9, 2002, in Austin, on 91.7 fm KOOP.  On my anniversary shows, I revisit an old theme, & so I'll be revisiting the theme "heaven."  Plus, every song I play on the show will be titled, simply, "Heaven."  From Monday to Thursday this week, here & on my blog, I'll post videos of the most obvious "Heaven" songs I know.  No surprise: they're all from 1978 - 1987.  First up, Talking Heads!

Self Help Radio 100314: Thrills

What a thrilling show!  What a show full of thrills!  A show for thrill junkies & thrillseekers!  You'll be thrilled!  I'm certainly thrilled!  Or am I over-selling this?  Are songs about thrills - even when thrills are gone - intrinsically thrilling?  I think thrills are in the eye of the be-thrilled.  If that's a word?

The show is now available for listening at the Self Help Radio website.  In addition to lots of music, which is listed below, there are interviews with actual thrillseekers as well as an on-the-street report by Marge Most.  It's as thrilling as I could make it, anyway.

Thanks for listening!

(part one)

"Thrills" The Jean-Paul Sartre Experience _The Size Of Food_
"Cheap Thrills" The Mothers Of Invention _Cruising With Ruben & The Jets_

"The Thrill Is Gone" Rudy Vallee & His Connecticut Yankees _They Called It Crooning_
"The Thrill Is Gone" Roy Hawkins _Bay Area Blues Blasters_
"The Thrill Is Gone" Clydie King _Brown Sugar_
"Thrills & Chills" Helene Smith _Eccentric Soul: The Deep City Label_

"Simply Thrilled Honey" Orange Juice _Coals To Newcastle_
"My Biggest Thrill" The Mighty Lemon Drops _Happy Head_
"Life Without A Thrill" Brideshead _Some People Have All The Fun_
"The Thrill Was All Mine" The Cherry Orchard _This World Is Such A Groovy Place_
"Less Than Thrilled" Love Is All _Two Thousand & Ten Injuries_

"You're My Thrill" Billie Holiday _The Definitive Collection_
"Baby You Thrill Me" Amos Milburn _The R&B Years: 1954_
"I'll Thrill You" Shirley & Lee _Shirley & Lee Rock!_

(part two)

"Thrill Me" Camille Howard with Roy Milton & His Solid Senders _The R&B Hits: 1947_
"Thrill Of Your Love" Elvis Presley _From Nashville To Memphis: The Essential 60s Masters_
"You Thrill Me (Through & Through)" The Everly Brothers _The Price Of Fame_

"Thrill Of The New" St. Christopher _Bacharach_
"The Thrill Of It All" Bauer _Can't Stop Singing_
"Thrill" Daniel Johnston _Rejected Unknown_
"The Thrill Of Thirty Seconds" Skint & Demoralised _Love, & Other Catastrophes_

"Thriller!" Pere Ubu _Dub Housing_
"The Thrill Of It All" Hey! Hello! _Hey! Hello!_
"Thrill Me" The Undertones _Get What You Need_

"The Thrill Of It All" Roxy Music _Country Life_
"You Still Thrill Me, Babe" Webster's New Word _You Still Thrill Me, Babe_

Whither Thrills?

A long time ago, attempting to make Self Help Radio into a better show, I started trying to imitate the Firesign Theatre - not their high concept albums, but their radio shows on community radio in the late 60s/early 70s.  They were mainly improvised, & very very funny.  Since I was doing the show myself, & since I'm not terribly funny, I forewent improvisation, but I attempted to copy a couple of Firesignish things.  One of them was fake ads.  I'd read them out in those days - I didn't always have a lot of time for editing, & wasn't that good at it, & also didn't have a decent mic at home.

I stopped doing that once I started doing shows outside of Texas.  I don't know why - I had more time to try to be funny, & could have gotten better equipment.  But I started doing it again this year, & every show now has at least four attempts at me being funny: two fake ad spots, two "others," sometimes skits, sometimes other stuff.  Are they funny?  Oh, probably not.

I also started this year something I've wanted to do for a long time: have the same people on regularly as "experts" - but pretending to be different people.  I have asked my funniest friends if it's something they'd like to do, & most of them (not all of them) have said sure!  One of them, my friend David, can be awfully convincing.  On the RFL Facebook page, a fellow asked people who don't listen to my show about bullfighting in Kentucky - I think this person didn't know it was all grade-A David Fruchter horse-hockey.  That's how good he is.

Anyway, I had a point, & it was this: I didn't want to do the same characters over & over.  I said to myself, "Every skit or voice that I do on the show should be unique."  It actually makes me think that the reason I stopped doing that is because it can be pretty exhausting.  Listening to comedians talk on Marc Maron's podcast, one learns that some of these people spend years honing a character.  & I, an untrained, mostly unfunny dumbass on a little radio show, was poo-pooing that?  What a douche.

I'm thinking about this not because it has anything to do with this week's show, which is about thrills (& of course this blog post is completely unthrilling), except one thing: there's a recurring character appearing on the show.  I have changed my mind, & I repeat people.  He's a "poet" called Archibald Von Poesy, & his main characteristic is that his "poems" all rhyme, but each line rhymes.  So the rhyme scheme would be AAAAAAA etc.  He returns to the show tomorrow.  I have no idea if anyone likes him or thinks he's funny.  I find him easy to slip into.

Actually, there are two recurring characters: disgruntled reporter Marge Most shows up again.

Again, there's no real reason for me to mention any of this.  But the show is on tomorrow from 7 to 9am on 88.1 fm WRFL Lexington, online at wrfl fot fm, & of course I'll put it up as soon as I can afterwards on the SHR website.  I also live tweet it, so you can follow along on my twitter thing if you're so inclined.

Oy this is so the opposite of thrilling.  I hope the show is better!

Not To Put Too Fine A Point On It

You might think that I am trying to somehow curry favor with the fine, funny comedians over at Superego because I keep talking about the time that they followed & then didn't follow me on Twitter, but really, if I talk about them, it's because they are awesome & however much I yell about them, I hope it means more people discover them.

Which is why I was ecstatic that there was a new Superego podcast released today.  & it's so good & it's so funny.  Holy shit, I wish I could be as funny as these people.  Please, go download it & listen, & seek out their old episodes, & pay them lots of money, & turn them into superstars, & have them replace everything that's considered famous or good in our popular media, because it will be a better world, a funnier world, a smarter world.

If the superegos behind Superego would create & produce the new Fall television schedule, there would be fewer failures, & more exciting dramas.  Shunt McGuppin as a crime-solving country music singer?  Holy shit, I'm there for seven or more seasons!  Also, I'm buying the DVDs, & then, later, spending money I don't have on Blu-Ray versions of episodes I already own!

Seriously, though - these folks are giant comedic talents & you need to listen to them.  Go to their website. You'll be glad you did.

(I said that last bit in a Wilford Brimley voice.  Could you tell?)

Moments On Twitter, Part II

I understand that the people I like & admire are nowhere near as famous as the people most humans like & admire.  For example, if I had tweeted something & some huge pop star were to favorite it or retweet it, I'd think it was nice, but not really care much about it.  (I generally assume that the super famous have people who handle their social media for them anyway.)  So when something happens that makes me happy on Twitter, it's bound to be musicians or comedians or writers that I wish were as famous as the nameless, faceless, usually blonde pop stars that teens look up to & music writers waste time writing about.

I mentioned last week how happy I was for the brief moment - oh so brief! - that the comedy geniuses at Superego followed Self Help Radio on Twitter.  (I'm @SelfHelpRadio, by the way.  If you want to follow me.)  Today something equally exciting happened to me.

One of my favorite bands in the world is My Favorite, who are sort of defunct.  The main songwriter, Michael Grace Jr., has an entertaining Twitter feed that I follow, & occasionally briefly interact with.  (On Friday we agreed on the greatness of the Psychedelic Furs' Talk Talk Talk for example.)  (By the way, Grace's follow-up band to My Favorite, the also-now-defunct Secret History, is amazing too.)

Today, as I was reading that this day in history was the day that James Dean died, at the age of 24, in a car accident, I was reminded of a lyric from the My Favorite song, "James Dean (Awaiting Ambulance)."  I looked around for pictures of Dean & then tweeted something to Michael Grace, Jr.  Below is the tweet & his response.

As you can imagine, it made me very, very happy.

In the way a retweet from [insert whoever has the number one single in the United States right now] never would.

Do I Have To Write In The Blog Today?

I have nothing to say today.  Just a bunch of dumb questions.

Can you italicize words in Blogger blog titles?

Why would anyone - anyone - "like" a corporation on Facebook or follow one on Twitter?

Is there any point in arguing anything with anyone anymore?

I just finished reading the book Idiot America by Charles Pierce, but I can't remember buying it.  Am I getting old?  Did you recommend it to me?  Did you give it to me?

Is there an online game that's fun to play in the same way early video games were fun to play which you also don't have to play with other (real) people?  (Also free?)

What do you do when your wife finally gets bored of you?

Self Help Radio 092614: Scenes

& now! A behind-the-scenes look at Self Help Radio!

Hunh.  It's pretty much as expected: a dude playing songs from CD & a computer, occasionally pulling a microphone down & talking to it.  The programmer's booth sort of clean, but also sort of grimy.  Complete lack of charisma evident in the deejay - & furthermore, he has a face for radio.  Well.  That was exciting.

But hey!  This week's show (which was about scenes) is now available at the Self Help Radio website!  You don't have to make a scene or anything.  All the songs I played are listed below.

As always, thanks for listening!

(part one)

"That Is The Scene" Baskervilles _Baskervilles_
"At The Scene" The Dave Clark Five _The Best Of The Dave Clark Five_
"Street Scene" Leon Mitchison _Cold Heat: Heavy Funk Rarities, Vol. 1: 1968-1974_

"The Breaking Up Scene" Honeybus _She Flies Like A Bird: The Anthology_
"Same Old Scene" Roxy Music _The Thrill Of It All_
"Crush The Scene" Tullycraft _The Singles_
"Making The Nature Scene" Sonic Youth _Confusion Is Sex_

"Hey Scenesters!" The Cribs _New Fellas_
"That Girl, That Scene" Frankie & The Heartstrings _The Days Run Away_
"This Scene Is Happening" Liquid Faeries _La-Di-Da...  So Far..._
"Hipsters, Scenesters, Teenstars & Fakers" Amy Linton & Stewart Anderson _Knowing We Was Right From Da Start_

"Freak Scene" Dinosaur Jr _Bug_
"Shirt Scene" Marc Riley With The Creepers _Shadow Figure 12"_
"Queen Of The Scene" Go-Kart Mozart _On The Hot Dog Streets_

(part two)

"Scenes" Tania Rivas _Scenes_
"The Recognition Scene" The Mountain Goats _Sweden_
"Leave The Scene Behind" The Wave Pictures _Instant Coffee Baby_

"No. 1 Hippie On The Village Scene" The Fifth Estate _Ding! Dong! The Witch Is Back!_
"The Contemporary Scene" Mood Six _A Matter Of!_
"Scream (Till You Make The Scene)" Stephin Merritt _Obscurities_
"Fight Scene" The Kamalas _The Kamalas_

"Music Scene" The Fall _Live At The Witch Trails_
"What's That Scene" Male Bonding _Endless Now_
"On The Scene" The Friggs _Rock Candy_
"Domestic Scene" The Radio Dept. _Clinging To A Scheme_

"The Crying Scene" Aztec Camera _Stray_
"I Want A New Scene" Mitch Easter _Dynamico_
"This Scene Is Dead" We Are Scientists _With Love & Squalor_

Whither Scenes?

I feel like I've told this story before.  I've never been part of any "scene."  At best, I've been involved at some radio stations but never with the well-liked group at the center.  I did what work I could, but mostly I worked alone, & that's still true.

Never part of the scene, never one of the cool kids.

In actuality, I would never have been part of any of the cliques in high school because not only was I a fat nerd, but also I naturally gravitated toward loner status.  So I didn't even really have any nerd friends.  It's no surprise that the only people I am in communication with from my high school is a fellow who moved to Austin after ninth grade (where we reconnected in my college years) & a friend who was in the grade above me, another loner who I rarely saw at school.  My best friend in high school went to a different school in a different city; we met because of (nerds) our comic book collections.

(My loner status did keep the bullies away from me.  Attached to nothing & no-one, I wasn't much fun to pick on.)

Flash forward to sometime in 1994 or 1995.  A pretty girl who did a show at my first radio station, & who was obviously well-liked, was chatting with me about another girl at the radio station, who was involved in management, but was unattractive & overweight.  The unattractive girl had just started dating someone, a kind of clumsy, & yes, overweight, fellow, who was not well-liked.  I didn't know either of them very well.

The pretty girl said to me, "Isn't it hilarious that they're dating each other?"

I didn't get the joke.  Was something wrong with either or both of them?

"No," she said.  "She's so awful & he's so awful.  & they're dating!"

I asked for more clarification, & the pretty girl got more specific: she was referring to their weight & their general unattractiveness.  & then something hit me.

"Oh no!" I said out loud.  "I've become one of the cool kids!"

The pretty girl didn't know what I meant, so I explained: I used to be the sort of person that people like her talked about behind my back, & now I was talking about people like me behind their backs!

She quickly backpedaled, & tried to explain that she meant that they were not nice people, or kind people, or anything besides their physical unattractiveness, but I was lost in a kind of daze.  I never thought that I'd be on the other side of that world.

& I really never would - the pretty girl & I never became friends, & in fact, while I remember her first name (& not her last name), she probably doesn't remember me at all.  & she wasn't part of a scene, anyway, so this story is only peripherally related to the show this week.

Which is on tomorrow from 7am till 9am.  You can hear it live in Lexington at 88.1 on the fm dial, & live anywhere at wrfl dot fm on the computer dial.  I'll put the show up later that day on the Self Help Radio website like I do, in case you're not up early.  Because the sleeping-in scene is the one I wish I belonged to these days.

Spleen Venting

The spleen is an organ.  It's on the left side of your body, protected by the ribs.  It's about as big as your fist.  I've read that it's "soft & red."  Let me ask my wife, the anatomist.  "What color is the spleen?" U ask here.  She says it's "burgundy-pinkish."  Then she adds, "It's a little purple."

The Word Detective talks about the phrase "vent one's spleen" here.  He explains, "The spleen’s job is to act as a sort of filter for the blood, but in medieval times, when each bodily organ was thought to be the home of one emotion or another, the spleen was regarded as the seat of melancholy. There was apparently a brief period later on when the spleen was suspected, improbably, of supplying humor & good cheer, but by the late 16th century it was decided that the spleen was the source of rage and ill-temper. Thus 'spleen' has for several centuries been a metaphor for 'anger,' 'resentment' & general crankiness."

I wish this blog had a more personal slant to it - I suppose it could - but maybe I'm not the entirely confessional type that I used to be, both on my radio show & on the internet.  (I used to write crazy confessional stuff on the usenet.)  I recently had an interaction with a local business that didn't quite make my blood boil, but irked me enough to write them about.

I'll speak in generalities.  I had a bad experience at the local business.  I contacted the local business by email that night, explaining the situation.  In the email, I didn't ask for anything.  I simply told the story of the shabby treatment I received & mentioned that I shopped there a lot.

I waited a week for a response.  The response from the local business, while containing something of an apology, completely belittled my experience while insisting that my email could in fact be a "teaching moment" for its employees.

I wrote back & told them that I wouldn't be patronizing the local business anymore.

It's so interesting - a franchise of a corporation would have written the most slavishly apologetic response possible.  They would have detailed the employee code of conduct & let me know how the employee involved in my bad experience would be disciplined.  They would have responded to my email within a business day & would have attempted some kind of recompense for my experience.

But this local business?  The best they could manage was a tepid apology & a shrug of the shoulders in a response as warm as a form letter.  It was astonishing.

You know, I've had issues with places before - I did go into detail on this very blog about a horrible experience with an airline a few years back.  But for some reason, I don't think much would be accomplished with venting my spleen about this local business in this manner.  I don't think it will change anything & I suppose I'm not as angry - I just feel that I shouldn't help support the place any more.

The biggest surprise is that my wife used to really love the place.  But apparently she's had bad experiences there, too.  She remarkably has agreed with my - well, it sounds like a boycott, but really it's just an ignoring - of the place.

Sorry to be vague.  Not enough spleen to vent, I guess.

Moments On Twitter

I've recently started "live tweeting" my show, which means (& who knows if I'm even using the phrase "live tweet" correctly) that I say on Twitter what I am playing when I do my show as I am playing it.  Usually it's with the hashtag "nowplaying" & I mention RFL's Twitter account (< a href="http://www.twitter.com/WRFL">@WRFL
) & the web page, where you can listen live: Superego.  They're crazy funny, & sharp as hell, as their bits are all improvised.  Well, after I played it, I got a note that they were following my Twitter account!  Gosh!  The proof is above.
They did soon think better of it, however, & unfollowed me almost right away, & I can't blame them, I'm nothing compared to them.  But it was fun to think they noticed me for a second!

Two of the Superegotists (do they call themselves that?) did favorite my tweet later.  That was nice.

Go listen to their podcast!  There's a new one right now, & it's great!  gosuperego.com!

Dead & Dying Businesses

I am strangely moved & fascinated by businesses that no longer exist - specifically ones that were seemingly ubiquitous in my childhood.  One of those was a small five-&-dime store called TG&Y.  From the time I was about 9 till the time I was about 14, my family lived in an apartment complex right next to a shopping center called Ridgewood (you can see the current businesses that occupy the place here.  To say that I was in a store or walking through the parking lot of the shopping center most days of that time would not be an exaggeration - a branch of the public library was there, as was a Minyard's supermarket, & a dollar movie theater.  & one of the stores closest to us - & frankly, easiest to shoplift from - was the TG&Y.

I can almost walk through it in my mind.  If I walked in today, I would know exactly where the toy section was.  I bought - or my mother bought for me - many Star Wars figures & accessories there.  & I stole a few more.

After we moved, I didn't find myself at that shopping center very often, & soon enough both the Minyard's & the TG&Y were gone.  The Wikipedia has a handy list of "defunct retail companies of the United States, & the sad story of TG&Y's demise can be read at the link above.  A surprise - Minyard's is not on there!  Apparently there are 13 stores left in the Dallas area!

I guess nothing lasts forever.  Even giant mainstays like K-Mart & Sears are disappearing, & luckily there are those chronicling their demise.  I am not sad about a business dying - but it does affect me in a strange way, like I have recently watched an empty office building bulldozed in my neighborhood.  There are a few photos of it somewhere on my Tumblr blog.  I wish I could've gotten some of the photos on this website featuring "dead & dying K-Mart stores."

There's a K-Mart nearby - maybe I'll go have a look around.  But I better hurry!  It looks like they're going the way of the ol' TG&Y.