It's not nearly enough to copy old poetry & pretend it's how you currently feel. Even old photos won't quite capture the way you finally want to feel today. Because at the time you didn't know how you felt & now that you do you no longer feel that way. Did you think you were the only person feeling unfeeling then, & now do you think no one else fails to feel the same?
Some people would be more impressed with how much money you spent on video games you can barely remember playing. You might as well have been drunk, or doing drugs, or signed up for an informal class in which you learned some sort of craft you would never use. You might even now feel that, somewhat, in your hands, like something you once did but cannot or will not do anymore.
Luckily no one believes now that you reach a certain age with a cachet of answers, sometimes called "wisdom," since the bare stupidity of the world is on continual display. But you did believe that, didn't you. You thought at some point you could walk out of the therapy room in your head & begin living life like a character in a movie right before the credits.
Even if your insides now are simply a reverse mirror image of your outsides then, you can still continue. Just tread lightly. & for fuck's sake, be honest with yourself. What's wanting is not what is, & may never be, but what you're wanting is what you are.
& stop going through the old boxes where you put your days after you've squandered them.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I'm Not Cruel
But Self Help Radio is today. It's all about the cruelty. You can hear it all at selfhelpradio.net.
I hope you'll be so kind as to have a listen. I thank you.
I hope you'll be so kind as to have a listen. I thank you.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Whither Cruelty?
Cruelty is the opposite of kindness. To someone with a healthy morality, cruelty is so incorrect, so wrong, so needless, so vile. Yet humans can be so cruel, so unconsciously cruel, so uselessly cruel. To strangers, to family members, to friends, to lovers. Some people even enjoy it.
We are, it seems to me, most cruel to animals. Most of us eat them, which may not seem so cruel until you realize that it's not necessary for us to eat animals to stay alive. & in the United States, the majority of the animals eaten live such constrained & torturous lives that the phrase "free range" is attached to the animals which are not raised & processed in factory farms. We experiment on them, our scientists & researchers for corporations, such horrible tests that a product which is not tested on animals is called "cruelty-free." We pollute their habitats & we've hunted many of them to the brink of extinction, if not extinction outright, often just for sport.
People can justify all of these things as not cruel, & that's also a cruelty, the self-justification that is the process of the human mind, a cruelty to ourselves. Our brains, alas, are wired in such a way as to make it possible for us to explain in glowing terms the miserable things we do, to ourselves, to others, to other creatures. If we don't pay attention to what our mind does, we can find ourselves as cruel as those we loathe & abhor, & we can still vindicate ourselves in the process. Many is a cruel human being who thinks him or herself truly kind.
I myself remember my cruelties as vividly as my kindnesses. I have stepped back & traced the steps which led me to a satisfaction that the cruelty wasn't so cruel, or was even a kindness in disguise. In many cases, the very fact that I was not caught, or was not specifically blamed for a cruel action, was enough to release me from crippling guilt - unless someone else was blamed. My cruelties, fortunately, have never resulted in any real harm (I tell myself at least) because most were petty, mere outbursts of cruelty at perceived wrongs, never anything planned & executed with intent to cause great pain. Maybe most of our cruelties are like that.
Most, but obviously not all.
We are, it seems to me, most cruel to animals. Most of us eat them, which may not seem so cruel until you realize that it's not necessary for us to eat animals to stay alive. & in the United States, the majority of the animals eaten live such constrained & torturous lives that the phrase "free range" is attached to the animals which are not raised & processed in factory farms. We experiment on them, our scientists & researchers for corporations, such horrible tests that a product which is not tested on animals is called "cruelty-free." We pollute their habitats & we've hunted many of them to the brink of extinction, if not extinction outright, often just for sport.
People can justify all of these things as not cruel, & that's also a cruelty, the self-justification that is the process of the human mind, a cruelty to ourselves. Our brains, alas, are wired in such a way as to make it possible for us to explain in glowing terms the miserable things we do, to ourselves, to others, to other creatures. If we don't pay attention to what our mind does, we can find ourselves as cruel as those we loathe & abhor, & we can still vindicate ourselves in the process. Many is a cruel human being who thinks him or herself truly kind.
I myself remember my cruelties as vividly as my kindnesses. I have stepped back & traced the steps which led me to a satisfaction that the cruelty wasn't so cruel, or was even a kindness in disguise. In many cases, the very fact that I was not caught, or was not specifically blamed for a cruel action, was enough to release me from crippling guilt - unless someone else was blamed. My cruelties, fortunately, have never resulted in any real harm (I tell myself at least) because most were petty, mere outbursts of cruelty at perceived wrongs, never anything planned & executed with intent to cause great pain. Maybe most of our cruelties are like that.
Most, but obviously not all.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Preface To Cruelty: The Past Is Cruel, You Know
I just spent an afternoon going through many a box of stuff. I should have gone through these boxes of stuff many many years ago. They contain notebooks, letters, newspaper clipping, scraps of stuff saved from the past twenty-five years. I am trying to lessen the amount of things that I am dragging with me through time. I know it only has value to me. If I were to die tomorrow, no one would spend any time going through it; it would just be tossed away. But my friend Joe said today that he keeps the stuff as a kind of evidence of existence, no matter how ridiculous.
Names of people I'll never see again, some of whom I can barely remember. A note here, a letter there. I read through some of them, just to see if it stirs any memories. Do they still exist? Should I look for them online, on Facebook, do a Google search? If they're not looking for me - & I think it's pretty easy to find me online - should I even bother looking for them? Probably not. Everything, it seems, happened a long time ago.
How cruel, my past, you have been to me today. How appropriate, too, on this week when Self Help Radio examines cruelty.
Names of people I'll never see again, some of whom I can barely remember. A note here, a letter there. I read through some of them, just to see if it stirs any memories. Do they still exist? Should I look for them online, on Facebook, do a Google search? If they're not looking for me - & I think it's pretty easy to find me online - should I even bother looking for them? Probably not. Everything, it seems, happened a long time ago.
How cruel, my past, you have been to me today. How appropriate, too, on this week when Self Help Radio examines cruelty.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The Zeke Moonshine Show?!?
Yeah, yeah, Zeke Moonshine wanted to just call it the Zeke Moonshine Show. He said, "The Heliocentric Hootenanny is already taken." Of course, Zeke is really just me speaking in a vaguely Southern accent. Not really all that convincing. Maybe that explains the vague egotism. I mean, I'd never call a radio show "The Gary Dickerson Show," but I guess I don't mind if it's a dumb pseudonym. I hope it doesn't offend Dick Dickenbock or Vance Chamberlain. Those guys are sensitive.
The show is waiting for your eager ears at selfhelpradio.net. It's just the first episode, so forgive it its shortcomings. But the records are really all that scratchy. I can't help that.
The show is waiting for your eager ears at selfhelpradio.net. It's just the first episode, so forgive it its shortcomings. But the records are really all that scratchy. I can't help that.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Countdown To Yesterday
Tomorrow is the premiere of my country/blues show, & I don't have a name yet. Seriously. I don't have a name. It was hard enough to come up with Tags & Tricks for the jazz show. What shall I call an old-timey blues & country show? Why aren't you helping?
I do think that I'm going to let my old pal (& seventh cousin thrice removed) (the last time he was removed was by the sheriff) Zeke Moonshine. Maybe he'll come up with a name. But you know, if he comes up with a name, it's going to be something like "Zeke Moonshine's Country & Blues Emporium" or "Zeke Moonshine's Ninety Minutes Of Hoots" or "Zeke Moonshine Presents Scratchy Radio For Your Edjumacation." It'll be Zeke Moonshine something, that's for sure. Can you live with that?
I guess I can too. Check back tomorrow! I'll let you know when the show's been posted to selfhelpradio.net!
I do think that I'm going to let my old pal (& seventh cousin thrice removed) (the last time he was removed was by the sheriff) Zeke Moonshine. Maybe he'll come up with a name. But you know, if he comes up with a name, it's going to be something like "Zeke Moonshine's Country & Blues Emporium" or "Zeke Moonshine's Ninety Minutes Of Hoots" or "Zeke Moonshine Presents Scratchy Radio For Your Edjumacation." It'll be Zeke Moonshine something, that's for sure. Can you live with that?
I guess I can too. Check back tomorrow! I'll let you know when the show's been posted to selfhelpradio.net!
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Something Creepy This Way Creeps...
Okay, it's not that creepy. I mean, this isn't a Halloween show or anything like that. It's just a show with the theme "creep." It covers people who are creeps, things that are creepy, & people & things that creep. Very straightforward. Ish.
You can listen to the show now at selfhelpradio.net. I'd write more about it but I don't want to be a creep & hassle you. If you wanna listen to it, you can listen to it.
But seriously. Listen to it.
You can listen to the show now at selfhelpradio.net. I'd write more about it but I don't want to be a creep & hassle you. If you wanna listen to it, you can listen to it.
But seriously. Listen to it.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Whither Creep?
There are nine meanings of the word "creep" which pertain to this week's Self Help Radio:
(I got the following definitions from dictionary.com.)
The verb form that means "to move slowly with the body close to the ground, as a reptile or an insect, or a person on hands & knees."
The verb form that means "to approach slowly, imperceptibly, or stealthily (often followed by up )."
The verb form that means "to sneak up behind someone or without someone's knowledge (usually followed by up on )."
The noun form that means "an act or instance of creeping."
The verb form that means "to grow along the ground, a wall, etc., as a plant." Also the noun form of such a plant: "creeper."
The noun form that means "a boring, disturbingly eccentric, painfully introverted, or obnoxious person." Although I would add that a creep often makes one feel creepy.
Speaking of, the adjectival form ("creepy") that means both "having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear" & "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird."
& of course the pluralized noun form ("the creeps") that means "a sensation of horror, fear, disgust, etc., suggestive of the feeling induced by something crawling over the skin."
There are more than nine definitions of "creep," you know. I can't be expected to cover them all.
(I got the following definitions from dictionary.com.)
The verb form that means "to move slowly with the body close to the ground, as a reptile or an insect, or a person on hands & knees."
The verb form that means "to approach slowly, imperceptibly, or stealthily (often followed by up )."
The verb form that means "to sneak up behind someone or without someone's knowledge (usually followed by up on )."
The noun form that means "an act or instance of creeping."
The verb form that means "to grow along the ground, a wall, etc., as a plant." Also the noun form of such a plant: "creeper."
The noun form that means "a boring, disturbingly eccentric, painfully introverted, or obnoxious person." Although I would add that a creep often makes one feel creepy.
Speaking of, the adjectival form ("creepy") that means both "having or causing a creeping sensation of the skin, as from horror or fear" & "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of a person who is a creep; obnoxious; weird."
& of course the pluralized noun form ("the creeps") that means "a sensation of horror, fear, disgust, etc., suggestive of the feeling induced by something crawling over the skin."
There are more than nine definitions of "creep," you know. I can't be expected to cover them all.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Preface To Creep: This Show Will Have Nothing To Do With Richard M. Nixon
What do John N. Mitchell, G. Gordon Liddy, E. Howard Hunt, & Charles Colson have in common? They're all C.R.E.E.P.s!
It's one of history's most felicitous acronymic errors - these felons (& they all served time for the Watergate break-in & related criminal activities) meant their Committee for the Re-Election of the President to be abbreviated CRP, but, with absence of foresight - or simply not having seen the letters written down - they didn't predict that their political rivals - or really anyone with common sense - would see a better acronym was CREEP.
That's too funny to be true. But it was a simpler time. Irony hadn't yet become America's bailiwick.
But this week's show has nothing to do with the Committee for the Re-Election of the President. Alas!
It's one of history's most felicitous acronymic errors - these felons (& they all served time for the Watergate break-in & related criminal activities) meant their Committee for the Re-Election of the President to be abbreviated CRP, but, with absence of foresight - or simply not having seen the letters written down - they didn't predict that their political rivals - or really anyone with common sense - would see a better acronym was CREEP.
That's too funny to be true. But it was a simpler time. Irony hadn't yet become America's bailiwick.
But this week's show has nothing to do with the Committee for the Re-Election of the President. Alas!
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Tags & Tricks, Episode One
The first episode of my all-new jazz show (the show is all new; the jazz I played isn't) is now available for your listening pleasure (if you wish) at selfhelpradio.net.
I'm pretty excited about it, since I enjoy jazz & wish I played more jazz but really don't know a damn thing about jazz. Maybe this will help me learn. Maybe I should write "things I learned from this week's episode" type summaries at the end of every radio show I do. I learn a lot! But then, maybe you'd think of them as "Cliff's Notes" of the shows & then you wouldn't listen. Because you don't love music. You Philistine!
Interestingly, I've used the epithet "Philistine" against people who don't love art & learning before, but until now, I didn't really know what it meant. I assumed it was Biblical, but here's the explanation, taken from this web site:
"The key turning point toward the modern sense of the word occurred in Germany. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a quarrel between university students & local townspeople in Jena in 1693 resulted in the killing of a student. In a sermon at the student's funeral, a speaker used the German word Philister ('Philistine') as an insult to the townspeople. Soon German university students began widely applying the term to anyone they regarded as an outsider, that is, someone who was not a student, hence a nonstudious, unenlightened, uncultured person."
Now that's something I learned today!
I'm pretty excited about it, since I enjoy jazz & wish I played more jazz but really don't know a damn thing about jazz. Maybe this will help me learn. Maybe I should write "things I learned from this week's episode" type summaries at the end of every radio show I do. I learn a lot! But then, maybe you'd think of them as "Cliff's Notes" of the shows & then you wouldn't listen. Because you don't love music. You Philistine!
Interestingly, I've used the epithet "Philistine" against people who don't love art & learning before, but until now, I didn't really know what it meant. I assumed it was Biblical, but here's the explanation, taken from this web site:
"The key turning point toward the modern sense of the word occurred in Germany. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a quarrel between university students & local townspeople in Jena in 1693 resulted in the killing of a student. In a sermon at the student's funeral, a speaker used the German word Philister ('Philistine') as an insult to the townspeople. Soon German university students began widely applying the term to anyone they regarded as an outsider, that is, someone who was not a student, hence a nonstudious, unenlightened, uncultured person."
Now that's something I learned today!
Friday, July 02, 2010
What Is "Tags & Tricks"?
My desire to express as many elements as possible of my music collection can be wearying. It was hard enough, oh those many years ago, to come up with the name "Self Help Radio" for a radio show. (I was originally going to call it "Too Stupid To Die.") (Back in my KVRX days the best name I came up with for my show, which aired on Mondays, was "Thursdays With Gary." So the tagline would be, "Every Monday night, it's Thursdays with Gary!" That book "Tuesdays With Morrie" came out around that time, which made the name seem derivative & stupid.) (Yeah, like "Self Help Radio" is original.) (Anyway.) Now that I have "Self Help Radio," "Sugar Substitute" & "Dickenbock Electronics," I wanted equally snappy names for my new jazz & old-timey country & blues show. But what?
I was reading around about jazz & on this Wikipedia quotes page, I found this "definition" of jazz from an obvious fan in 1927:
"Jazz is not a 'form' but a collection of tags & tricks."
Ernest Newman. The Sunday Times, "The World of Music", 4 September 1927.
That's hilarious, yeah? So why not call the show "Tags & Tricks"? So I shall.
& hey! It premieres tomorrow! Look for it on selfhelpradio.net!
I was reading around about jazz & on this Wikipedia quotes page, I found this "definition" of jazz from an obvious fan in 1927:
"Jazz is not a 'form' but a collection of tags & tricks."
Ernest Newman. The Sunday Times, "The World of Music", 4 September 1927.
That's hilarious, yeah? So why not call the show "Tags & Tricks"? So I shall.
& hey! It premieres tomorrow! Look for it on selfhelpradio.net!
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Pretend Moral
A cautionary tale of two men who couldn't play guitar, written by little Dickie Dickenbock.
One man who couldn't play guitar was Dave. He not only couldn't play guitar but was tone-deaf.
The other man who couldn't play guitar was Rick. He loved rock & roll & wanted to be a rock & roller. In fact, he loved the work "rock." He appreciated when bands sang songs about "rock." When his favorite radio show, which had "rock" in the title, went off the air at his local public radio station, he almost didn't renew his membership until he realized there was another show with "rock" in the title replacing it. It was a completely different show, but he felt that it was important that the word "rock" was out there.
Naturally, the two of them formed a band. It was awful. They found a drummer who could keep time, & a bassist who looked mean, but no matter how they tried, Dave & Rick couldn't play guitar. They played for friends at parties, they played a "battle of the bands" night at their favorite bar, they practiced in a space where other bands could hear them, & the verdict was clear: they weren't a very good band.
It also didn't help that Dave was the lead singer.
One night, at a show where they opened for a friend's band, a very nice man named Jeff happened to hear two guys at the bar making fun of the band. The drinking buddies started with band's name - Solid Rock - & quickly found their way to the band's sheer inability to play. Jeff was infuriated by this. In addition to the cruelty of the comments, & the lack of sympathy for anyone having to perform in a live venue, the two fellows - Jeff thought - seemed to think such people couldn't get better. What if this were their first show? Maybe even the Beatles sounded like this when they had just started!
Jeff decided to become the band's manager. He did everything in his power - straining his marriage, missing a promotion at work, investing his own money in the band's future - to help Dave & Rick get lessons, have time to practice, have places to play.
But nothing helped. They never got any better. Their songs were derivative, their on-stage antics embarrassing, their skills barely progressing past their first show. (Some even say the drummer lost the ability to keep time.) When the bassist was arrested for assaulting a man he thought was hitting on his girlfriend, Dave & Rick, exhausted by all the hard work they put in & resentful of the world's disinterest, told Jeff they were quitting. Rick said, "It's okay. Rock & roll will never die."
Jeff eventually lost his job & he & his wife separated soon after.
The moral of the story is this: you can encourage anyone to follow their dreams, but you probably shouldn't get involved. More often than not, it's not going to end well.
One man who couldn't play guitar was Dave. He not only couldn't play guitar but was tone-deaf.
The other man who couldn't play guitar was Rick. He loved rock & roll & wanted to be a rock & roller. In fact, he loved the work "rock." He appreciated when bands sang songs about "rock." When his favorite radio show, which had "rock" in the title, went off the air at his local public radio station, he almost didn't renew his membership until he realized there was another show with "rock" in the title replacing it. It was a completely different show, but he felt that it was important that the word "rock" was out there.
Naturally, the two of them formed a band. It was awful. They found a drummer who could keep time, & a bassist who looked mean, but no matter how they tried, Dave & Rick couldn't play guitar. They played for friends at parties, they played a "battle of the bands" night at their favorite bar, they practiced in a space where other bands could hear them, & the verdict was clear: they weren't a very good band.
It also didn't help that Dave was the lead singer.
One night, at a show where they opened for a friend's band, a very nice man named Jeff happened to hear two guys at the bar making fun of the band. The drinking buddies started with band's name - Solid Rock - & quickly found their way to the band's sheer inability to play. Jeff was infuriated by this. In addition to the cruelty of the comments, & the lack of sympathy for anyone having to perform in a live venue, the two fellows - Jeff thought - seemed to think such people couldn't get better. What if this were their first show? Maybe even the Beatles sounded like this when they had just started!
Jeff decided to become the band's manager. He did everything in his power - straining his marriage, missing a promotion at work, investing his own money in the band's future - to help Dave & Rick get lessons, have time to practice, have places to play.
But nothing helped. They never got any better. Their songs were derivative, their on-stage antics embarrassing, their skills barely progressing past their first show. (Some even say the drummer lost the ability to keep time.) When the bassist was arrested for assaulting a man he thought was hitting on his girlfriend, Dave & Rick, exhausted by all the hard work they put in & resentful of the world's disinterest, told Jeff they were quitting. Rick said, "It's okay. Rock & roll will never die."
Jeff eventually lost his job & he & his wife separated soon after.
The moral of the story is this: you can encourage anyone to follow their dreams, but you probably shouldn't get involved. More often than not, it's not going to end well.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Day Of The Remains
I've already mentioned that this week's episode of Self Help Radio is available for listening at selfhelpradio.net, didn't I? It's about tunnels. You love tunnels. You should go listen to it.
My wife just left me. Now, wait, that came out wrong. She's going to come back. I hope. She says she will. She's going to Africa to do scientific stuff for an entire month. That's right! Thirty American days! & it's summer, so the days are longer!
Anyway, my wife has temporarily left me so of course I can now concentrate on making great radio for you. Unless you're leaving too. Well, I will assume you're not. & if you are, don't tell me. I'm too fragile at the moment.
I am going to make great radio for you for the month of March. That's wonderful, isn't it? Starting this Saturday, when I premiere my jazz program, "Tags & Tricks." Why is it called that? You're have to listen!
Since I put it on my website, you know, you can listen to it anywhere. Even if you're leaving. Rats! I should have told that to my wife.
My wife just left me. Now, wait, that came out wrong. She's going to come back. I hope. She says she will. She's going to Africa to do scientific stuff for an entire month. That's right! Thirty American days! & it's summer, so the days are longer!
Anyway, my wife has temporarily left me so of course I can now concentrate on making great radio for you. Unless you're leaving too. Well, I will assume you're not. & if you are, don't tell me. I'm too fragile at the moment.
I am going to make great radio for you for the month of March. That's wonderful, isn't it? Starting this Saturday, when I premiere my jazz program, "Tags & Tricks." Why is it called that? You're have to listen!
Since I put it on my website, you know, you can listen to it anywhere. Even if you're leaving. Rats! I should have told that to my wife.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Whither Tunnels?
I feel like I've been in a tunnel for a couple of days & have only now emerged. My apologies for not being as disciplined with this blog as I should, but the wife is leaving the country for a while (she's not on the lam, just being a scientist) so I've been spending time with her. Also, I nap a lot. So please, pardon my tunnel vision.
But! The tunnel has a light at the end & that light is this week's Self Help Radio, which went off with the adequate number of hitches (whatever that means) & which you can listen to at your leisure at selfhelpradio.net.
Might I suggest listening to it in a tunnel?
But! The tunnel has a light at the end & that light is this week's Self Help Radio, which went off with the adequate number of hitches (whatever that means) & which you can listen to at your leisure at selfhelpradio.net.
Might I suggest listening to it in a tunnel?
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Preface To Tunnels: The Many Tunnels I've Been In
I guess I've been in a lot of tunnels. The longest tunnel - & possibly the scariest - was the tunnel under the English Channel. That tunnel is 31 miles long. Shorter tunnels I go through nearly every day - underneath the railroad tracks that separate Huntington-by-the-river from Huntington-by-the-highway. (I don't know if those are official designations.)
There are some awesome tunnels through mountains at the Virginia/West Virginia border on highway 77 in the Jefferson National Forest. I don't know how long they are but they are fun to drive through. It made me think of the tunnel in The Fugitive, well-lit but with mysterious doors into which Harrison Ford can escape.
A tunnel I've been through multiple times is the tunnel that separates the Oakland/Berkeley area from the eastern suburbs of the Bay Area (where the wife is from). It can be unbearably hot on one side of the tunnel, & then, emerging toward San Francisco, the temperature will have dropped twenty degrees, & it's the perfect temperature for rolling down the window & speeding toward The City.
The wikipedia says that "tunnels in general... are at least twice as long as they are wide." I would also think that tunnels tend to be horizontal - or somewhat horizontal - so a hole in the ground is a tunnel at all. A tunnel can be on an angle, of course. Just not vertical. Although - now that I think about it - though the wikipedia (again) says a tunnel is "an underground passageway," surely you can have tunnels in giant spacecraft, yes? Or giant vehicles of any kind? & those aren't technically underground, are they?
There are some awesome tunnels through mountains at the Virginia/West Virginia border on highway 77 in the Jefferson National Forest. I don't know how long they are but they are fun to drive through. It made me think of the tunnel in The Fugitive, well-lit but with mysterious doors into which Harrison Ford can escape.
A tunnel I've been through multiple times is the tunnel that separates the Oakland/Berkeley area from the eastern suburbs of the Bay Area (where the wife is from). It can be unbearably hot on one side of the tunnel, & then, emerging toward San Francisco, the temperature will have dropped twenty degrees, & it's the perfect temperature for rolling down the window & speeding toward The City.
The wikipedia says that "tunnels in general... are at least twice as long as they are wide." I would also think that tunnels tend to be horizontal - or somewhat horizontal - so a hole in the ground is a tunnel at all. A tunnel can be on an angle, of course. Just not vertical. Although - now that I think about it - though the wikipedia (again) says a tunnel is "an underground passageway," surely you can have tunnels in giant spacecraft, yes? Or giant vehicles of any kind? & those aren't technically underground, are they?
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Hurrah! Dickenbock Electronics!
Yes, hooray! The first Saturday episode of Dickenbock Electronics went off without any complaints by the Robot Board Of Trustees. I don't trust those trustees. They're untrustworthy.
It's available where it ought to be at selfhelpradio.net. You can listen to it at your leisure. Or actively, if your circuits require it. Guaranteed to increase your personal processing speed by 0.007%!
Next week will be the premiere of my jazz show. Which is currently untitled. Do you want to name it? You can if you want. Just send me an email. Otherwise I'll be forced to come up with a name myself. Eep.
It's available where it ought to be at selfhelpradio.net. You can listen to it at your leisure. Or actively, if your circuits require it. Guaranteed to increase your personal processing speed by 0.007%!
Next week will be the premiere of my jazz show. Which is currently untitled. Do you want to name it? You can if you want. Just send me an email. Otherwise I'll be forced to come up with a name myself. Eep.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Dream-Ending Dreams
I just woke up from a nap, & what woke me up was what I call a "dream-ending dream." These dreams are both impossibly familiar, & at the same time so completely absurd, that it shocks your system into consciousness just to assess their near-comic outrageousness.
There's nothing more boring than listening to someone tell you his or her dream (unless it's someone who think they can "interpret" a dream) (or than watching someone tell someone else their dream & having it interpreted) so I won't bore you with details except that this dream seemed to be about a "tradition," which is to say, something I did every year or so (which I never have) & which also referenced past examples of the tradition. The dream, therefore, either referred back to other dreams I've had (which seems terribly unlikely, with this fading memory of mine), or it created those memories & made them feel like memories in the dream.
The latter is more probable, & that's why dreams are so awesome. Still, if, when you dream, you retain a modicum of your own sense of self - like, for example, you're scared of heights, & in a dream you're going to bungee jump or parachute - then the dream of something so unlike you - or so unlikely that you would ever do such a thing - so disturbs your sense of self that it becomes a "dream-ending dream." It wakes you up to take stock of your sense of self, &, in the midst of the dream's artificial familiarity & its haphazardly concocted reminiscences, you have to return to consciousness just to make sure it wasn't real.
I don't think most of these "dream-ending dreams" are scary to the point of nightmare, but some of them have been a little on the exciting side - involving chases or other dramatic movie-style sequences - again, referencing something that probably couldn't or wouldn't ever happen to me.
I do wonder if they're the body's way of waking one up when one needs to wake up from, say, an overlong afternoon nap. I know a dude who naps thirty minutes each day in the afternoon. Thirty minutes! It usually takes that long for me to get to sleep!
There's nothing more boring than listening to someone tell you his or her dream (unless it's someone who think they can "interpret" a dream) (or than watching someone tell someone else their dream & having it interpreted) so I won't bore you with details except that this dream seemed to be about a "tradition," which is to say, something I did every year or so (which I never have) & which also referenced past examples of the tradition. The dream, therefore, either referred back to other dreams I've had (which seems terribly unlikely, with this fading memory of mine), or it created those memories & made them feel like memories in the dream.
The latter is more probable, & that's why dreams are so awesome. Still, if, when you dream, you retain a modicum of your own sense of self - like, for example, you're scared of heights, & in a dream you're going to bungee jump or parachute - then the dream of something so unlike you - or so unlikely that you would ever do such a thing - so disturbs your sense of self that it becomes a "dream-ending dream." It wakes you up to take stock of your sense of self, &, in the midst of the dream's artificial familiarity & its haphazardly concocted reminiscences, you have to return to consciousness just to make sure it wasn't real.
I don't think most of these "dream-ending dreams" are scary to the point of nightmare, but some of them have been a little on the exciting side - involving chases or other dramatic movie-style sequences - again, referencing something that probably couldn't or wouldn't ever happen to me.
I do wonder if they're the body's way of waking one up when one needs to wake up from, say, an overlong afternoon nap. I know a dude who naps thirty minutes each day in the afternoon. Thirty minutes! It usually takes that long for me to get to sleep!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Hey Choosers!
See, I know you're not beggars. Since beggars can't be choosers. Ergo, through the transitive property of fol de rol, with only a slight detour through the axioms of gibberish & nonsense, Q.E.D. ipso facto, you must be the choosers who cannot be beggars. I defy you to find the logic in my reasoning!
Since you are choosers & since you do in fact have a choice, & since I'm usually the last choice in pretty much anything, I might as well make sure you know you have a choice in radio shows if/when you should want to listen to them. (You can choose not to, I know.) That choice which you can be chosen last if you so choose is Self Help Radio, & this week's episode, which is about beggars (not choosers), is now available at selfhelpradio.net.
Is the show a choice blend of great musics? I wouldn't choose that language. But I think I chose well, among all the songs available about begging.
Please enjoy.
Since you are choosers & since you do in fact have a choice, & since I'm usually the last choice in pretty much anything, I might as well make sure you know you have a choice in radio shows if/when you should want to listen to them. (You can choose not to, I know.) That choice which you can be chosen last if you so choose is Self Help Radio, & this week's episode, which is about beggars (not choosers), is now available at selfhelpradio.net.
Is the show a choice blend of great musics? I wouldn't choose that language. But I think I chose well, among all the songs available about begging.
Please enjoy.
Monday, June 21, 2010
"Mendicancy"
Three more things to say about begging:
1) I have a story about something sort of like begging I did when I was in middle school, but it is really quite embarrassing - one of those things you either have to go all the way with or else risk it being uncovered by an unscrupulous biographer. Not that I'll ever have anyone write a biography about me. But if I did. I'd prefer not to tell.
2) One thing I'm not ashamed of, though it irritates some people I know, is that I generally give change to people who ask me for it on the street. In Austin, walking down Guadalupe in the afternoon, I'd empty my pockets for the bums & street kids who were there. When I was a smoker, I'd also give away cigarettes. It seemed the least I could do. So far I've only been hit up by folks outside a Chinese restaurant here in Huntington, & I've given them change, too. Although the two or three people who've asked me for money have been specific & have wanted at least a dollar. Which suggests to me that, even if there isn't much competition, there are fewer people around here willing to part with their coinage, so your average West Virginian beggar needs to aim higher.
3) But I don't give money to people begging at intersections or near highway off-ramps. I don't know why that bugs me so much. Maybe because I am forced to look at them - which is what they want - & feel a little guilty. I think also that I sometimes worry if I give them money, I'll hold up traffic. Anyway, they don't seem to do that in West Virginia, either. But in Austin, there was usually someone at major roads & off-ramps. At one intersection near where I lived in Austin, there'd be bums begging at almost every corner. You couldn't avoid them.
Remember, there's an entire Self Help Radio show about begging coming tomorrow! It's true! I'll let you know when it happens!
1) I have a story about something sort of like begging I did when I was in middle school, but it is really quite embarrassing - one of those things you either have to go all the way with or else risk it being uncovered by an unscrupulous biographer. Not that I'll ever have anyone write a biography about me. But if I did. I'd prefer not to tell.
2) One thing I'm not ashamed of, though it irritates some people I know, is that I generally give change to people who ask me for it on the street. In Austin, walking down Guadalupe in the afternoon, I'd empty my pockets for the bums & street kids who were there. When I was a smoker, I'd also give away cigarettes. It seemed the least I could do. So far I've only been hit up by folks outside a Chinese restaurant here in Huntington, & I've given them change, too. Although the two or three people who've asked me for money have been specific & have wanted at least a dollar. Which suggests to me that, even if there isn't much competition, there are fewer people around here willing to part with their coinage, so your average West Virginian beggar needs to aim higher.
3) But I don't give money to people begging at intersections or near highway off-ramps. I don't know why that bugs me so much. Maybe because I am forced to look at them - which is what they want - & feel a little guilty. I think also that I sometimes worry if I give them money, I'll hold up traffic. Anyway, they don't seem to do that in West Virginia, either. But in Austin, there was usually someone at major roads & off-ramps. At one intersection near where I lived in Austin, there'd be bums begging at almost every corner. You couldn't avoid them.
Remember, there's an entire Self Help Radio show about begging coming tomorrow! It's true! I'll let you know when it happens!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Whither Begging?
Oh, you know, there's a wikipedia article about begging, which contains the hilarious line: "Beggars rarely recorded their techniques, & often used to disguise their own communication." It's sometimes pretty hard to read their signs, it's true. & I guess they would get lost down the ages.
There's also a helpful list of notable beggars. (I checked, I wasn't there.)
The word seems to have an interesting & disputed past. Here's what it says at this online encyclopedia:
Beggar, one who begs, particularly one who gains his [or her] living by asking the charitable contributions of others . The word, with the verbal forrn " to beg," in Middle English beggen, is of obscure history . The words appear first in English in the 13th century, & were early connected with "bag," with reference to the receptacle for alms carried by the beggars . The most probable derivation of the word, & that now generally accepted, is that it is a corruption of the name of the lay communities known as Beguines & Beghards, which, shortly after their establishment, followed the friars in the practice of mendicancy.
It goes on to mention - then discount - another origin, which the Wiktionary definition thinks is probable: "Probably from Old English bedecian." What does bedecian mean? According to the above encyclopedia, bedecian is "a rare Old English word... which is apparently connected with the Gothic bidjan... but between the occurrence of bedecian at the end of the 9th century & the appearance of 'beggar' & 'beg' in the 13th, there is a blank, & no explanation can be given of the great change in form."
Take that!
The Free Dictionary takes a different view. It says the word beggar is from "Middle English, from Old French begart, ultimately from Middle Dutch beggaert, one who rattles off prayers." Since I know that holy folks from England to Delhi have been beggars & lived in poverty for centuries, I kinda dig this origin.
But I am not an etymologist, so I can only look at what everyone is saying, & pretend I have earned an opinion in the matter.
Also, mendicancy? Let's bring that word back into wider usage, shall we?
There's also a helpful list of notable beggars. (I checked, I wasn't there.)
The word seems to have an interesting & disputed past. Here's what it says at this online encyclopedia:
Beggar, one who begs, particularly one who gains his [or her] living by asking the charitable contributions of others . The word, with the verbal forrn " to beg," in Middle English beggen, is of obscure history . The words appear first in English in the 13th century, & were early connected with "bag," with reference to the receptacle for alms carried by the beggars . The most probable derivation of the word, & that now generally accepted, is that it is a corruption of the name of the lay communities known as Beguines & Beghards, which, shortly after their establishment, followed the friars in the practice of mendicancy.
It goes on to mention - then discount - another origin, which the Wiktionary definition thinks is probable: "Probably from Old English bedecian." What does bedecian mean? According to the above encyclopedia, bedecian is "a rare Old English word... which is apparently connected with the Gothic bidjan... but between the occurrence of bedecian at the end of the 9th century & the appearance of 'beggar' & 'beg' in the 13th, there is a blank, & no explanation can be given of the great change in form."
Take that!
The Free Dictionary takes a different view. It says the word beggar is from "Middle English, from Old French begart, ultimately from Middle Dutch beggaert, one who rattles off prayers." Since I know that holy folks from England to Delhi have been beggars & lived in poverty for centuries, I kinda dig this origin.
But I am not an etymologist, so I can only look at what everyone is saying, & pretend I have earned an opinion in the matter.
Also, mendicancy? Let's bring that word back into wider usage, shall we?