Self Help Radio 122818: Indiepop A To Z # 58

(All images from Discogs.)

The last show of the year!  Another Indiepop A To Z installment!  Like I've been doing since 2011!  Why is that?  I needed to try (even though I knew I'd fail) to finish the series but knew I'd forget if I didn't plan it regularly so, since at the time I was at a radio station at a university, I decided to do an episode of Indiepop A To Z at the end of each semester - which meant April, August, & December.  I'm no longer at a University, but I do want to continue with the series, so, voila!

Many apologies for my voice during this show.  I have had a cold all week & although I am better now, thanks for asking, I still sound like someone who needs their adenoids removed as soon as possible.  Luckily I don't talk all that much.  It's bound to be painful listening, & I'm sorry.

The show is now up at Self Help Radio's website.  Remember the username - SHR - & the password - selfhelp - so you can listen.  The show's a little over two hours long, going from The Monochrome Set to  Die Moulinettes, & I think there's lots of great songs.  But of course I would.

Thanks for listening this year & have a happy new one!

Self Help Radio Indiepop A To Z # 58

"The Jet Set Junta" The Monochrome Set _Eligible Bachelors_
"Don't Gimme Shelter" Monograph _Lorelei_
"Copan" Monokini _Mondo Topless_

"Dresden Neustadt" Monostars _Passagen_
"What Do All The People Know" The Monroes _The Monroes_
"Another You" Monterey _The Motorway 7"_
"I Couldn't Sleep, Either" The Montgolfier Brothers _The World Is Flat_
"Lovesville USA" The Montgomery Clifts _Deadwood Chronicles_

"I Was A Poor Example" Month Of Sundays _This Is Stereophonic Sunshine_
"Angel Delight" Monty _Angel Delight_
"Annapurna" The Mood Elevators _Annapurna_
"Justice & Money Too" The Moodists _Creation Soup Volume Three_
"Rise" The Moon Seven Times _The Moon Seven Times_

"Let's Sell All Our Records & Move Somewhere Else" The Moonlings _How Embarrassing To Dance Like That_
"Narcissus" Moonrace _Beikoku-Ongaku # 15: 2000 Spring 'Innocence + Peppermints' Issue_
"Allein Zu Haus, So Ist Das Leben" Die Moosblüten _Die Schönste Platte Der Welt_
"Jack" Moose _Jack_
"Holiday Right Tonight" The Mopeds _Hände Hoch_

"Listen To Your Heart" The Morrisons _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 3_
"Suedehead" Morrissey _Viva Hate_
"Vicious Games" Mosaic Eyes _There Is No End To This_
"No Winter, No Autumn" Moscow Olympics _Cut The World_
"Hong Kong Flu" The Mosquitoes _A House Full Of Friends_

"Estrangeira" Mosquitos _Mexican Dust_
"One Summer" The Moss Poles _One Summer_
"On My Mind" Most Wanted Men _One Side Up_
"Good Friends" The Motifs _Cross Paths_
"Twisting The Apple Stem" Motion Picture _A Paper Gift_

"It Tastes Just Like A Milkshake" Moto _Woosh! Little Teddy Recordings 1991-2001_
"Big Rock Candy Mountain" The Motorcycle Boy _Big Rock Candy Mountain_
"Magic" Motorhome _Pop American Style_
"Zaubervogel Barbie" Die Moulinettes _Für Eine Handvoll Moulinettes_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 58

Oh, you know the drill by now.  Fifty-seven of these so far & we're on the letter M.  Here, I'll do something different: I'll preview some of the tunes you'll be hearing by showing their videos on Youtube!  I hope you appreciate it.

On this week's show: the Monochrome Set!



Plus: the Monroes!



Also: Moose



& naturally: Morrissey!



Plus much, much more.  Two hours of indiepop, its influences, its precursors, mostly with musicians & bands starting with Mo.

Noon.  Self Help Radio dot net.  I will still sound sick.  I am still a little sick.  Yay holidays!

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 58

Due to my sickness, I spent the day in bed.  Hit it, Morrissey!



Usually, when I feel a cold coming on, I try to sleep it away.  But the wife is in California with her family for the holidays & I have not one but two guests - the stray in my garage, & a sweet pup I am dogsitting.  So I wandered around town like an idiot yesterday & then took medications in the house which, because we're not sick very often, I discovered had expired years ago.  I went to get more, I took 'em, & I slept through a rainstorm or two.

& now it's time to do it all again.

Happy Christmas I Have A Cold!

Happy Christmas to you!  I am out of sudafed.

The last time I was at my doctor's I boasted I hadn't had a cold in two years.  But that wasn't true - I remembered this week that last year I had a cold too.  I guess what I get for Christmas is a cold.

& the forecast calls for rain.  Ah well.  I hope you had a lovely day.  I need to sleep some more.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like - Oh Crap It's Here!

(Fifty years ago today Apollo 8 orbited the moon & took this picture of our planet from space.  Taken from here, where you can also read the entire story.)

Happy Christmas Eve!  This is the portion of our program where I tell you that there are a ton of Self Help Radio Christmas episodes on the website if you need holiday cheer or even holiday weird for the holiday this.

There's this year's show plus!
Christmas 2017
Christmas 2016
Christmas 2015
Christmas 2014
Christmas 2013
Christmas 2012
All the way back to Christmas 2011.

Of course, I've done Christmas shows every year but one since I've been doing Self Help Radio, but those shows are not on the website for some reason.  If I had time today, I'd see if they were around & upload them.  But you're not going to listen to any of them, so why should I try to find Christmas 2004?  Eh?  Eh?

Remember, you'll need a password & username (selfhelp is the password, SHR is the username) to listen.  It's a very cheap gift I know but consider it my gift to you!

Self Help Radio 122118: A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2018

(Original image here.)

It's Christmas!  Hurrah!  Hooray!  Oh wait.  It's not Christmas yet.  Well, shoot.

But!  It's the weekend before Christmas, & all through your computer, you can listen to two hours of holiday music peppered with my usual ridiculousness (as well as contributions from my radio besties) in the regular fashion.  Seriously, it's the same way I've done it for years.  But you like regularity, right?  It's like Christmas!  New presents though!  The songs are the presents!

& boy there are lots of songs.  I think sixteen of them - more than half of the songs on the show - are from 2018.  That may not excite you.  Don't worry!  Someone's playing Elvis Presley singing Christmas tunes somewhere on the radio right now.  But you'd have more fun with this Christmas show.

It's now at Self Help Radio Christmas Central.  You'll have to "unwrap" it with a username & a password - "SHR" & "selfhelp" respectively, without the quotation marks - it's two hours long & all the stuff that happens on the show is listed below.

Happy Christmas!  This is my present to you.  You can't return it.  It's homemade.  Once size fits all.  Don't be a scrooge!  Listen!

A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2018

"Drink My Way Through Christmas" Karen Kilgariff _Live At The Bootleg_
"Merry XMas Blues" Celibate Rifles _Platters Du Jour_
"Christmas Tree (Burn Burn Burn)" The Catenary Wires _Stars_

introduction & checking on the "War On Christmas"

"It's Christmas (Let's Be Happy)" Jenny Adkins _It's Christmas (Let's Be Happy)_
"The Friendly Beasts" Slumber Party _Xmass_
"My Christmas Memory" Patton Oswalt _222_
"TV Christmas" Frode Fivel _TV Christmas_
"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" The Beths _Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"A Ghost Story for Christmas" Aidan Moffat & RM Hubbert _Ghost Stories For Christmas_
"Santa Baby" Me First & The Gimme Gimmes _Santa Baby_
"The Evil Santa" Bill Murray & Gilda Radner _The Best Of The National Lampoon Radio Hour_
"Lego Blocks" Ramoms _Merry Xmas_
"Xmas With Simon" The Fall _Shift Work_

point/counterpoint with David Fruchter

"A Winter Song" Remington Super 60 _A Winter Song_
"Xmas Song" School Damage _A To X_
"Santa's Race" D.L. Hughley _Clear_
"Xmas Rap (Un-Censored)" Treacherous Three _The Sugar Hill Records Story_
"Santa's Coming Down The Chimney" Confidence Man _Santa's Coming Down The Chimney_

interview with the Holiday Spirit

"New Year" The Darling Buds _New Year_
"What Would Santa Do" The Monkees _Christmas Party_
"Icelandic" The Proctors _Icelandic_
"Poem At Year's End" Sofia Talvik _Poem At Year's End_
"Xmas On The Isthmus" Shinyribs _The Kringle Tingle_

conclusion & goodbye

"Santa Claus Is Pagan Too!" Emerald Rose _Unearthed_
"Gotta Love Being A Kid (Merry Christmas)" Old 97's _Love The Holidays_
"I Want Christmas" El Camino _The Western Star Rockabilly Christmas Party_
"Christmas Every Day" Rosie Flores _Christmasville

Whither A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2018?

(I found this on Tumblr last year, I don't remember where.)

That's right, it's Christmas time again!  I have been avoiding the radio & I don't really shop except for food so I've not been bombarded with holiday music at this point, which keeps me sane as I prepare one more Self Help Radio Christmas show.

This show will be fun.  Our friend Jenny has written a Christmas song for the show.  It's the closest thing to a Christmas tradition I have!  Well, except the Christmas show.  Also, the gang's all here with goofy interviews.  & oh yeah!  For the first time ever I can play songs with bad words in them for Christmas!  It won't be too bad.  But I've been wanting to play a couple of tunes without editing them & by golly I don't have to now.

So maybe this won't be a show for the whole family but no one really listens to the Christmas shows on Christmas.  I used to daydream that they did.  But they don't.  Of course not!  The show will be ready for hanging on a tree or something like that tomorrow at noon over at the Self Help Radio website.  I think I save all the other Christmas shows too?  Maybe I'll mention it Monday.

Also I'll be playing Christmas songs on the Tuesday Morning Blend on Christmas morning.  But I'll mention that later.  What I am looking forward to is the Christmas morning drive to Dallas.  I hope the highways are practically deserted.  That will be amazing.

Preface To A Very Self Help Radio Christmas 2018: Christmas Music Amiright?

Oh god Christmas music.

Just type "I hate Christmas music" in your search engine of choice & see what you get.

Scientific proof it's a natural thing to do.

Other attempts to explain the distaste.

A screed in Good Housekeeping for fuck's sake.

& of course the inevitable Reddit conversation.

It's my belief that people despise Christmas music - & I think many more people do than will even admit it - for two main reasons: a) its ubiquitousness & b) its superfluity.

Christmas music starts getting played as early as October, & yet it's the same songs over & over, from "White Christmas" to "Do They Know It's Christmas?"  I'm sure it's lucrative - most every pop star has a Christmas record, & also some indie acts.  Even 87-year-old men whose status as a cultural icon will never be in doubt find time to record a Christmas album.  (It's pretty awful, by the way, & not good-awful.  At least I thought so.)  But it takes something special for a Christmas song to break through these days - in general, I'd bet (though I don't know this for a fact) that the best way to score a Christmas hit in popcommercialland would be to do a cover.  Lots of pop star Christmas records have covers of familiar songs.

But you know what else?  There's simply too much of it out there.  Trust me, I do a Christmas show every year & I like to play new stuff & newly discovered stuff.  It is not that it's a vein that's been overmined - no, excellent takes on Christmas music like Aidan Moffat & RM Hubbert's new record show there's so much more that could be done with Christmas music - it's just that people are content to, you know, cover "White Christmas."  Over & over.

Seriously, there are these records by acapella groups & harmony groups that are only Christmas records, with no new songs on them at all.  Dozens of them.  Somehow they can sustain themselves with this.

& yet, chances are the next time you're in a supermarket, you'll be subjected to Springsteen singing "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town."  & - oh no - damnation! - are you singing along?

For the record, I don't hate Christmas music.  I get a little sick of it.  Which is why I only do one Christmas show a year.  Except.  Oh shit.  The Tuesday Morning Blend is on Christmas this year.  Well fuck.

Scary Caller Pt 2

This morning on the Tuesday Morning Blend on KNON, the same weird caller (I think) as last week called me again.

It's as if he's involved in a long conversation & at some point near the middle of it, he picks up the phone, calls the station, & when I say, "Good morning, KNON," he continues as though there's been no interruption & we're all on the same page.

"I'm on the run but I done no crime," he said this morning, & then he laughed.  "That's a freestyle.  I'm on the run but I done no crime.  I'm on the run but I done no crime.  I am freestylin'!"

Not knowing if I were supposed to know who this person was, or if I've spoken him on the phone previously, I simply replied, "Okay."

"I'm on the run but I done no crime," he repeated, & I began to think he either doesn't know what a freestyle is, or he's more deliberate than the average freestyler, & is editing as he goes.  "Shout out to all the KNON crew!"

"Thank you," was all I could say.

This was toward the end of the show, & the next deejay was coming in, so as he kept talking - he began to name different KNON shows he wanted to give shout outs to - I told him I had to go.  He left willingly - after all, the conversation was definitely going to continue long after he was off the phone.

Or maybe he calls other radio stations?  Television stations?  Friends from high school?

Simba's Story

This fellow is named Simba.  It's not his given name, if he ever had an owner.  It's what my wife has been calling him.  Our neighbors brought him over - coaxed him over, really - on Saturday, hoping we could hold on to him & maybe take him to get looked at by a vet.  He had an obvious gash on his forehead, something under his eye, & something behind his ear.  One of his ears was injured at some other time in his life, & looks like it "cauliflowered" over.  He's a very loud fellow but took food - my guess is he's a good hunter & a better beggar - despite a tendency to hiss when you approach him, even as he's hoping for a pet.  Food got him into our garage, where he's stayed since.

We scrambled to find some organization that might help with low-cost help - I'm not cheap but the wife is - & maybe a place for him when he recovers.  One person, from a group called Panther City Feral Cats Coalition, called us on Sunday, & let us know about an arrangement the group has with a local vet.  Little Simba - he's not that little, & he's somewhat stout - spent two days in the garage before a neighbor & I took him to the vet this afternoon.

My wife thinks I'm a sentimental fool & she's right - I could never volunteer at a shelter because I'd want to adopt all the animals, especially the ones no one wanted.  Simba was taken away, to be treated & neutered if he wasn't already, & I was told they'd need to keep him overnight.

Not so!  The folks at University Animal Hospital fixed him right up, & we were told that the Panther City folks would cover it, but at a discount rate it was reasonable so we footed the bill.  Simba was groggy & quiet on the ride home, but perked up & is back in the garage right now, & let us hold him to apply ointment to his wounds.  He no longer has his manhood but he's had a good run - the vet says he may be eight or nine years old!  I had thought he was picked on, but nope.  He's a tough guy who's probably dispatched many a rival tom.  We think he might have found his way here because another stray we're trying to catch is in heat.

It's too easy for me to fall in love with cats & I had already thought about adopting him, but I don't think at his age he'll take to domesticity too well, so the plan is, in a week, after the wounds have healed, to let him loose.  The vet thinks his home range will shrink without his testicles telling him what to do, & we'll continue to feed him if he's around.

He is so lovely & sweet.  "All hiss & no bite," is how a neighbor described him.  I feel a little bad about his confinement - I'm glad it's not hot out! - he sits at the door & meows at the other strays around him - but I don't want him to die from a stupid infection - not when he's survived for so long against all odds.  Tough critter.

Self Help Radio 121418: Gary's Favorite Music 2018

(All images I believe came from Discogs.)

It's that time again.  It's a little scary, I think, to put stuff out there, for criticism - you liked that? really? - but it's also a time-honored radio tradition, & one I've done on Self Help Radio for most of the show's run.  (I started in 2004.  I suspect I didn't do it for a couple of years because I was hesitant to repeat themes.)

Hey, feel free to share your faves of the year here on the blog or on the Facebook page.  I'd love to see what you like & especially find something I may have missed.  Because I'm pretty certain I missed a bunch this year.  I have like two dozen records I haven't listened to yet as well!

The show is at the Self Help Radio site.  The list of songs is below.  The username is SHR & the password is selfhelp if you don't already know.  It was a good year for music.  I hope you like listening to what I liked.

Self Help Radio's Favorites Of 2018

"The Club" Hinds _I Don't Run_
"A Beautiful Cog In The Monolithic Death Machine" Chemtrails _Calf Of The Sacred Cow_
"Still Alive" The Spook School _Could It Be Different?_

"Eiffel Tower" Alpaca Sports _From Paris With Love_
"Love Lost" The Goon Sax _We're Not Talking_
"Relativity" Virginia Wing _Ecstatic Arrow_
"Happy Unhappy" The Beths _Future Me Hates Me_
"Estanquero" Axolotes Mexicanos _Salu2_

"Americans" Shemekia Copeland _America's Child_
"Oh Sweet Thursday" Herman Dune _Sweet Thursday_
"Memphis Never Falls From Style" Robbie Fulks & Linda Gail Lewis _Wild! Wild! Wild!_
"Rang Tang Ring Toon" Mountain Man _Magic Ship_
"Downhome Girl" Swampmeat Family Band _Too Many Things To Hide_

"The Great Curve" Angelique Kidjo _Remain In Light_
"Hlala Nami" Hot Soul Singers _Gumba Fire: Bubblegum Soul & Synth Boogie In 1980s South Africa_
"Kala Mukhra (ft. Ali Sethi)" Red Baraat _Sound The People_
"Better Sit Down Boy" Confidence Man _Confident Music For Confident People_
"Lockdown" Soft Regime _Hard Feelings_

"Untitled In D" Spector _Ex-Directory EP_
"It Can't Be Love Unless It Hurts" Tracyanne & Danny _Tracyanne & Danny_
"I'm So Depressed" Insecure Men _Karaoke For One_
"Golden Days To Come" Last Leaves _The Official Matinée World Cup EP_
"The Smile On Your Face" The Liberty Thieves _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 8_

"Popular Music" Life _Popular Music_
"I Hope You're Very Happy Together" Art Brut _Wham! Bang! Pow! Let's Rock Out!_
"Feelings" Bloods _Feelings_
"Isn't Easy" School Damage _A To X_
"Marblemouth" Math & Physics Club _Lived Here Before_

"Famous Last Words" Eternal Summers _Every Day It Feels Like I'm Dying..._
"Calling Out" Remember Sports _Slow Buzz_

Whither Gary's Favorite Music 2018?

(Original banner here.)

Yeah, yeah, the year end lists are coming now.  I've noticed that Allmusic.com has started writing "Favorite [Genre]" instead of "Best Of," which is a welcome improvement, but the majority of them, alas, continue to tout their opinions as "best."

Here's the thing: I don't begrudge anyone their opinions.  I just don't really agree with a lot of them.  & I still insist it's weird to rank records in distinct genres as in competition with each other other.  For example, I really liked Angelique Kidjo's retranslation of Remain In Light but I also really liked Robbie Fulks & Linda Gail Lewis's collaboration, but could I say which one is better?  How would I decide that?  It's silly, then, to rank music or whatever on any other scale than what is best-liked.  That's all.

One thing: I see bands & musicians on Twitter genuinely pleased to be put on such a list & I am glad that they get that recognition.  I just wish we could admit that just because we like something doesn't make it "the best."  Maybe for us.  But boy did I try to listen to some of the records on the "best of" lists coming out now & boy did I not enjoy them.  & I listen to music all the time, so I don't feel my opinion is "wrong."  Opinions can't be wrong.  Ergo, there's no such thing as "best."

Anyway, my favorite music of the year is simply the music I listened to most.  It's something of a hodgepodge but also not all that surprising.  My tastes haven't changed a whole lot over the years but I think I was genuinely surprised at some of the music I kept returning to.  Find out what I liked &, hey! share you lists with me over at the Self Help Radio website starting at noon tomorrow.

Meanwhile: anyone who's released a record since around November that will eventually become one of my favorite records in the world: I'm sorry.  There are only so many hours in the day.  & I do enjoy spending time with my pets & my wife.  & oh yeah playing music on the radio!

Preface To Gary's Favorite Music 2018: Time To Share My Old Screed Again

This is a repeat of a post - something I don't really ever do except around this time of the year - that I wrote a couple of years ago about "best of" lists.  I repeat it now with my intro from last year:

If you've ever read this blog around this time of year, or heard any of my year-end shows, you know I absolutely hate the whole concept of "best of" lists.  It's arrogant in the extreme, & is nothing but a list of the opinions of one or more people, representing some magazine or other organization.  It no more determines what is "best" than sales or awards do.  Here's why I don't think anyone can say what is "best" in a list form:

1) No one has listened to every album or single or ep released that year.  Sorry.  You may think you have, but it's impossible.  If all you're listening to is major label stuff, you are most definitely not listening to the best music out there.  You've fallen into the trap of believing that commerce determines what is "best" like the Grammys.  But it's almost guaranteed that half of the commercial shit you think is best will be forgotten in a few years.  Anyway:

2) Fuck popular culture.  Music is not about heavily choreographed events.  Music is not about moments created by publicists & teams of "songwriters" whose contributions are focus-group-tested.  Radio, as it always has, caters to the moneyed musical interests & plays the same shit over & over, but that no more makes something great now as it did in the past, where there's a graveyard of "successful" & "best of" records that no one thinks about anymore.  & even imagining that you as a critic free yourself of the influence of the corporations that send you shit for free, there's the fact that:

3) You can't compare "best" albums through different genres.  This may sound like somewhat fatalistic, but can you really say a hip hop album is better or worse than a bluegrass record?  Even if you have an unusually broad taste in music, you surely have a favorite genre, & you're going to prefer one over another.  In the end, when the jazz gal likes a record by some other genre, it's peer pressure & good ol' familiarity, it being played constantly around the office.  & those sites that let every critic have a vote & somehow tally those votes?  How fucking stupid is that?  Because:

4) Nothing is "great" because of popularity.  I repeat this for emphasis, because this is something that just baffles me.  Why does anyone think something is good because a bunch of people like it?  Perhaps I am genetically disposed to dislike something because of hype, but I most certainly don't believe something is great because of the money it makes or the fans it has.  & when it comes to critics, listen: people usually like critics that agree with them, or challenge them, but if you believe that just because someone can write or talk eloquently about things they love or enjoy, you're dealing with an artificial insecurity, because:

5) No one opinion is better than another.  At best, you can call an opinion better informed.  For example, if you said you hated Bob Dylan because you didn't like his voice, I wouldn't put much stock in your opinion about his records.  But that doesn't mean you're wrong that Bob Dylan isn't your cup of tea - it just means that you're wrong if you think his music is bad & music you like is good.  That's just a personal opinion, & as I've said, that means you can never say what is "best" except for what you like & think.  & therefore:

6) Everyone should retire stupid year-end "best of" lists.  No one knows what's best.  They can't.  It's impossible.  They can say what they like, & they can back it up with information & opinions & pretty words.  But that no more makes it "best" than album sales or popularity or awards or the consensus of critics.  What makes it "best" to you is personal to you.  You see:

7) Opinion is always & forever subjective.  Just say it's your favorite music of the year, or something else that isn't a statement that suggests it can be prove right or wrong.  Because you don't have any clue whether something is the best of the year any more than any other person.  Maybe in time - hundreds of years later - we'll know who stood the test of time.  But a few months after it was released?  Give me a break.

Scary Caller

This morning as I was doing the Tuesday Morning Blend on KNON, I got one of those calls you kind of expect in noncommercial radio.  Perhaps I should explain.

If you do a show at a college or community radio station (this probably doesn't apply to Christian non-commercial stations nor to NPR stations which don't give out phone numbers, letting you know their programming is from somewhere else & not local or is local but can't be affected by listeners), any listeners can call up & talk to the deejay.  Sometimes (like at KNON) there are others in the studio who help the deejay & answer the phones, but in my case it's just me.  It's amusing when people talk about me in the third person, expecting someone else to answer the phones.  Nope!  It's just me.

Anyway, in such situations, people who are - we can't say crazy anymore but perhaps we can say troubled - become aware that they can call & talk to whomever, they will call.  This has been my experience at most every station I deejayed at.  (The one exception was WMUL in Huntington, West Virginia, & I think it's mainly because no one was really listening to the station.)

In Lexington there was a fellow who may have been the only person listening during my many late-night sub shifts.  He wasn't well, but I would try to talk to him.  I forget his name now - Jeff, maybe? - but I remember when the station got caller ID, I would not answer the phone when I saw his number - it was obviously his mother's name - if I weren't in the mood.  In Austin it was a person who seemed to call the same time every day - I noticed this when I subbed shows that were in the same timeslot as my show was.  Deejaying on KNON in Dallas, there have been a couple - one of whom I heard was recently institutionalized (naturally, he called the station to talk about it) - but this caller today was someone I have never - maybe I have but I didn't know I had - talked to before.

It was my first caller of the day.  He said, "I just wanted to let you know that those guys, those guys that were messing with me, they're all facing charges."

Having that weird feeling of becoming involved in a conversation that has been going on for a while, I simply said, "Good."

"You can't mess with me," he said.  "That's the lesson.  They wanted to mess with me, now they're facing charges."

He went on for some time in this vein, & at some point I said, "I guess the lesson here is that crime doesn't pay."  What else could I have said?

Whatever he was expecting for me to say, I don't think it was for me to actually agree with him.  He said, "That wasn't why I was calling.  I was calling to make a pledge."

Now, KNON needs all the help it can get.  We have four Pledge Drives a year, & I would gladly have accepted a pledge from this fellow.  So I asked him, "How much are you thinking about pledging?"

He said, "Tell me about tickets, man, concert tickets."

"The pledge drive isn't going on right now," I told him, "we don't have tickets but there are premiums at the website, KNON dot org, if there's something you'd like."

"I'll make a pledge there," he said, & hung up on me.

Someone else who's had experience dealing with people with mental illness can probably explain what happened there in some other detail, but in my telling, I had someone who needed attention, I respectfully allowed that person to state their case, & when I tried to end the conversation or turn it in a direction the person wasn't interested in going, they took the opportunity to leave.

Is that fair?  Is that how it is?  I wish I knew.

One Last Queen Of

As per usual, I found a cool pic of something related to the week's theme after I've done the show.  Here's a great pic of Gina Lollobrigida as the Queen Of Sheba in Solomon & Sheba.

The Tumblr blog where I found it did not have any information where it found the picture, but I noticed many stills & stuff from the film over on Pinterest, if you're interest.

& yeah, I look forward to find even more songs & stuff about this theme now that it's done.

Self Help Radio 120718: Queen Of

The Queen of WHAT, Gary? England? Denmark? North Carolina? South Ipanema?

Let this program demonstrate to you that there are queens always among us. Hereditary issues mostly don't even factor in - one minute you're talking to someone, the next you suddenly realize she's the queen of the moon.  Why not just break into song?  You know you wanna.

That's what happens on today's show: we meet the Queen of Night, the Queen of the Underworld, & the queen of Nevada in succession, all inspiring some dopey musician to compose for them a tune. It keeps going. Plus, you know, I talk to some silly people as well. As if I weren't silly enough!

The show is now available for your regal listening at the Self Help Radio website. There is password info on the front page, don't say I didn't tell you.  Every song played is listed below, as are the interviews.  & yes, the Queen of Radio shows up.

Self Help Radio Queen Of...? Show

"Oh Moon, Queen Of Night On Earth" Jonathan Richman _Oh Moon, Queen Of Night On Earth_
"Queen Of Spades" Darwin Deez _10 Songs That Happened When You Left Me With My Stupid Heart_
"Queen Of The Underworld" Jesse Malin _The Fine Art Of Self-Destruction_

introduction & definitions

"The Queen Of Ur & The King Of Um" Wire _A Bell Is A Cup... Until It Is Struck_
"The Queen Of Seville" The Clientele _God Save The Clientele_
"Mary Queen Of Scots" Monty Python _Another Monty Python Record_
"Dime Queen Of Nevada" Albert Hammond _Albert Hammond_
"Queen Of The Silver Dollar" Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show _The Best Of Shel Silverstein (His Words His Songs His Friends)_

interview with historian David Fruchter

"Queen Of The Minstrels" The Eternals _Studio One Soul_
"Little Miss Queen Of Darkness" The Kinks _Face To Face_
"Queen Of Pain" The Cramps _Big Beat From Badsville_
"Queen Of The Moon" Jerry Lynn _The 'D' Singles Collection, Vol. 1_
"Queen Of The Barley Fool" Great Lakes Myth Society _Compass Rose Bouquet_

interview with anthropologist/adventurer Cosmo Wild

"Queen Of The Savages" The Magnetic Fields _69 Love Songs, Vol. 3_
"Queen Of The Sea" Steve Miro & The Eyes _Objectivity: Object Records Singles Album_
"Queen Of The House" Mrs. Elva Miller _Wild, Cool, & Swingin': The Artist Collection - Mrs. Miller_
"Queen Of The Mopeds" Tochigi _A Crow So Large It Blocked Out The Sun_
"Mary Queen Of Arkansas" Bruce Springsteen _Greetings From Asbury Park N.J._

speed interviews with several Queens

"The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba" Swingle Singers _Swingle II Baroque_
"Queen Of Sheba" Danta _Electric Asylum, Vol. 1: Rare British Acid Freakrock_
"The Queen Of Sheba" Kathleen Jamie _Poetry Please: The Anniversary Edition_
"Queen Of Sheba" Nick Lowe _Nick The Knife_
"Leila (The Queen Of Sheba)" Dolly Dots _Leila (The Queen Of Sheba)_

conclusion & goodbyes

"Pop Queen Of The Teen Scene" Brandon Can't Dance _Graveyard Of Good Times_
"Queen Of The Rummage Sale" Bishop Allen _February EP_
"Queen Of Eyes" The Soft Boys _Underwater Moonlight_
"Queen Of Summer" Spray _Children Of A Laser God_
"Queen Of All The Tarts (Overture)" David Bowie _Reality

Whither Queen Of?

(Oh look it's Mary Queen Of Scots! They should make a movie about her or something. This picture is from here.)

You know how this works, surely, by now.  Rather than do a show about "queens," which would allow for a greater diversity of music (perhaps) plus be able to have songs about unnamed queens (definitely) as well as other meanings of the word queen (oh yeah), I have decided to limit the scope of this week's theme to songs that are called or are about a "queen of" something.

There's precedent for this.  Many moons ago, when I was doing the show at WMUL in West Virginia, I did a show with the theme "King Fill-In-The-Blank."  I didn't simply want to do a show about kings.  My disdain for monarchs, as a child of America, doesn't allow me to be expansive in their celebration.

Was it the upcoming Saorise Ronan movie that inspired this show?  No.  I just saw movie posters for it while looking for pictures of queens.  It is the reason why I chose a picture of Mary Queen Of Scots though.  I just hope it's as good as the radio version!

What inspired this week's show?  It's funny you should ask that.  I was about to make something up that would have amused you greatly but then apparently the jet planes being manufactured by the nearby Lockheed Martin plant decided to have war games above me & I've been hiding under my desk for the past fifteen minutes with my cats.  Fear has a way of making one forget everything.

But I do remember that the new Self Help Radio with the theme "Queen Of" will happen tomorrow at noon over at Self Help Radio dot Net.  Listening will make you feel like royalty.  Or at least royalty-adjacent.

Preface To Queen Of: The Queen Of Tumblr Dethroned

This is a picture of my dog Winston.  I regularly post pictures of my pets & other things I encounter & remember to take pictures of on the show's Tumblr page.  You might not know what Tumblr is, or you might use it in a dramatically different way than I do.

Maybe you haven't heard what's going on with Tumblr but many of the people whose Tumblr blogs I like are pissed off, so maybe Tumblr is going away.  None of the pictures I take are ever anything anyone could perceive as pornographic, although I suppose the awfulness of the photos might be seen as offensive in that way, so I don't suppose I'll be leaving the site soon.

But in any event, I figured this was a good opportunity for my periodic reminder that Self Help Radio has a presence on Tumblr even though it's more like my personal Instantgram page than anything having to do with the show.

That's all.

Two Jokes

Today on the Tuesday Morning Blend, I celebrated National Sock Day with a set about (what else?) socks.

A caller rang the station up to tell me a "terrible joke" (his words) about socks.  It was this one:

Timmy went to school wearing two unmatched socks - one red, & one blue.  A teacher, trying to draw attention to his mismatched pair, said sarcastically, "Nice socks, Timmy."  Timmy said, "D'you think so?  I have another pair just like it at home."

I responded by telling the caller, "Oh man, Bob Hope from all the way in California is rolling in his grave toward the awfulness of the joke."

The caller said, "I want him to turn back around.  Can I tell another?"

"Sure," I said.

"Why did the chicken go to the seance?"

"Why?"

"To get to the other side," the caller said.

Bob Hope, alas, kept rolling.

The Earth Is Not Good For Queens

Because this week's show is sort of about queens - it's going to be full of songs with titles like "Queen Of _______" which yes means I'm not playing Bowie's "Queen Bitch" - I started looking around to see how many queens were still around, in charge of places.

& there are a lot of queens still around, although they're not really the rulers, just the wives of monarchs.  Nope, there's only two queens who are in charge themselves: the Queen of England, Elizabeth II, & the
Queen of Denmark, Margrethe II.  Technically, of course, they're not monarchs in the way their predecessors had been.

If I seem disappointed, it's because I am.  I was going to make my first Twitter poll in ages & ask people to pick a favorite queen.  But there are only two!  & I don't want to have to go find out, you know, if the King of Sweden has a Queen or whatever.

Look, I know that monarchies have been traditionally one of the best places to find patriarchy, but I thought in the 21st century we'd have more queens out there.  Nope!

That's the last time I look for progress in useless, anachronistic institutions!