There's something about me that you may not know: I'm a coward.
It was probably instilled in me - if it isn't something deep in my DNA - by my mother, the architect of much of what I am. She made me afraid of being hurt, which probably led to my fear of confrontation (which often leads to physical violence), which resulted in me being basically afraid of, you know, anything that might lead me to being beaten up, attacked, whatever.
That's not necessarily a bad thing - who wants to be a punching bag? But of course we as a culture admire the person that stands up & fights back. That's really not me.
The thing is, I often encounter folks who assert things - & usually they're in positions of authority - which I know are wrong. I will say to these people, "I don't think that's true." They will double down on their assertions. Tonight I came across that. I asked if there were evidence of the assertion, which was this: "It's been my experience in every place this came up."
If it seems I'm being vague, just understand it has to do with noncommercial radio & be thankful you're not bored by the details.
This has happened to me a lot recently. I am so tentative in my slight incursions into the different radio environments here in Portland that I make a simple suggestion & I recoil when met with a definitive no. The thing is - I am giving the power to that no. Most people will confidently say things as if speaking for an entire without really knowing what that group thinks. & I keep coming across that, again & again.
Do you know, I first became involved in radio about twenty-five years ago this month? It's true! & for that entire time I wish I could've just been this guy who did a show, didn't get too involved, helped out when he could, was a team player. But it's not me. I wanted to somehow make it easier for more people to get involved, for the station itself to thrive, for everyone to have the same experience I did.
This led to some problems but I think it's been more positive than not.
The reason to mention this is that I was at a meeting tonight where I was confronted with more "no" than "yes." I have decided I won't let this stop me anymore. I'm going to carefully ignore the "no" & focus on the "yes."
Might it be too early to do so? Probably. Will it be difficult? Oh sure.
Is it absolutely necessary for me? Oh yes.
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