Sunday, May 12, 2024

Preface To Arrest: Proud To Have Never Been Arrested

(Comic by Glen Baxter)

It's a dumb thing to be proud of, not being arrested. I've been stopped by cops - when I was younger, they seemed to let me off with warnings more often than not - always in the case of speeding. But as I've aged, the most interactions I've had with law enforcement is speeding tickets. & maybe a little more when I worked at a Seven-Eleven, where they wanted free stuff - especially donuts.

& it's not that I'm proud of being a good boy. There have certainly been situations where I might have been in a lot of trouble if I'd been caught - especially stealing things. But I wasn't caught. Cops were never called. I never got arrested.

That being said, I've never really done anything that would've actually landed me in jail. Never drove drunk (more than once or twice). Never assaulted anyone. Never killed anyone. Never embezzled a large amount of money. & when, in the depths of the pandemic, I got caught running a light by a traffic cam, I paid the money to sit through a sixty-minute "education" seminar on Zoom in which the internet froze several times & the movies they tried to show were utterly ineffective. But the charge was expunged from my record!

& heck yeah I know people who've been arrested. It doesn't sound like fun. It's bad enough the government knows where I live & makes me pay all the taxes. Imagine if there were a box checked somewhere for "public indecency" because I urinated outdoors! I don't want that. Luckily I didn't do that.

So what the hell will I talk about on the show tomorrow? Ha ha! I won't be doing most of the talking. As usual! Despite what everyone thinks!

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