Fifteenth Anninversary

(original image here.)

On October 9, 2002, Self Help Radio premiered on 91.7fm KOOP Austin, Texas.  It was 2pm.  The very first theme was "War," because at that time, one year after 9/11, the Republican administration was sending signals it really, really wanted to go to war with Iraq, a country that had nothing to do with 9/11.  It was a confusing, sad time, & I am sad to report it remains the same.

Self Help Radio, though, has changed, & not just its location.  One thing is that I very soon began resisting "easy" themes like "war."  Maybe not within the first couple of years - I really didn't imagine that the show would last all that long - but when I realized I wanted to do the show for a while, I figured, what the hell, let's plan a little better & explore some really interesting themes.

Here's something else that's different: I would put the show together the night before.  I had so much confidence I could come up with a theme that I didn't really think about the show except less than twenty-four hours before it aired.  That meant I never knew what a theme would be at the end of the previous week's show - one time I remember thinking I'd do a cool theme where every song would be a song about another band, only to be told by a friend that another show on another station had done that just a couple days before.  How embarrassing it would be to seem a copycat or a plagiarist!

Another time I did do that, & the theme was "devils," I think (that would make it in 2003), & someone called & said another show the day before had done a show about devils.  I said it was purely coincidence - I didn't listen to that show - but the caller was convinced this meant something diabolical was happening in Austin.  I didn't know how to reassure him.

Anyway, the traditional gift for the fifteenth anniversary is crystal.  So please send your presents of crystal meth to the Self Help Radio offices in Fort Worth, Texas, by the time of the show.  Please note that the packages contain "timepieces."  That's a modern twist on the fifteenth anniversary present.  No one will be fooled.

Seriously, though.  Crystal meth.  I mean it.

Self Help Radio 100417: Foxes

(Original image here.)

Yay foxes!  It's about time someone gave them a radio show!  So glad it got to be Self Help Radio!

& already the reviews are pouring in: every fox with a radio or the internet loved it, while most hounds with access to the show are giving it mixed reviews.  How do the foxes get their reviews to me?  Like everything else, I learn what people think by reading the comments section.

There's also some indication that humans who find themselves "foxy" also enjoyed the show, so if you missed it but consider that adjective apt, by gum, listen now.  There are not only lots of fox songs, but there's an interview with a zookeeper, a report from a furry convention (where people dress as foxes), & my spiritual mentor talks about the deeper meaning of foxes.  It will also give you something to talk about with foxes in those awkward moments when you come across one & find they're immune to small talk.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  You don't have to be sly as a fox to figure out the username & password needed for the show - it's on the website already.  The show is in two parts, & what's in the parts, as well as where the interviews are, is listed below.

Yay foxes!

(part one)

"The Fox" Odetta _At The Gate Of Horn_
"The Fox" A Certain Ratio _Early_
"The Fox" The Rondelles _Shined Nickels & Loose Change_
"A Fox (Maybe I'd Better Stay Me)" The Smothers Brothers _Aesop's Fables The Smothers Brothers Way_

"Hounds Of Love" Kate Bush _Hounds Of Love_
"The Old Fox" The Mekons _Natural_
"Arctic Fox It's A Setup!" Mike Birbiglia _Two Drink Mike_
"Foxheads" Close Lobsters _Foxheads Stalk This Land_
"Fox On The Run" Dondero High School A Capella Choir _Pop Concert 1995_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Fine Old Foxy Self" James Brown _The Singles, Volume 3: 1964-1965_
"Foxy Girls In Oakland" Rodger Collins _Bay Area Funk_
"This Is A Foxy World" Tom Tom Club _Close To The Bone_
"Foxy Lady" The Cure _Three Imaginary Boys_
"Foxy Boxer" Bearsuit _Oh:io_

"The Fox In The Snow" Belle & Sebastian _If You're Feeling Sinister_

(part two)

"Fox & The Hounds" Henry Thomas _Before The Blues, Vol. 3: The Early American Black Music Scene_
"The Fox Chase" Wade Ward & Bob Carpenter _Southern Journey, Vol. 2: Ballads & Breakdowns (Songs From The Southern Mountains)_
"Lonnie's Fox Chase" Lonnie Glosson _The History Of Country & Western Music, Vol. 5 (1935-1937)_

Marge Most reports from a furry convention

"Fox In Socks" Marvin Miller _Dr. Seuss Presents Fox In Socks, Horton Hatches The Egg, & Other Stories Including The Sneetches_
"The Bear & The Fox" Tim Yen Yen _Everything Beautiful Reminds Me Of You_
"The Fox & The Grapes" Joan Gerber _The Story Lady_
"Nice Fox" The Rosebuds _Life Like_
"Foxx & I" The Magnetic Fields _50 Song Memoir_

interview with zookeeper Tony Sharpetti

"Red Fox" The Choir Practice _The Choir Practice_
"Foxes Of Kalahari" The Search _Deranged Minds Unite_
"Find The Fox (Demo)" XTC _Coat Of Many Cupboards_
"Fake Fox Fur Pillowcase" The Wave Pictures _Great Big Flamingo Burning Moon_
"Faux Foxes Improvise Limelight" Drug Boyfriend _Faux Foxes Improvise Limelight_

"Reynard The Fox" Julian Cope _Fried_
"Fox Box" The Dirtbombs _Horndog Fest_

Whither Foxes?

(Found here.)

Damn, foxes are cute as fuck.  They make me want to just have every frickin' show be about cute things, just so I can put pictures of them on the Facebook page.  I mean, the theme of the show the week before was guilt.  No one wants to look at pictures of guilt!

& yet, their adorable nature was not the reason for the show.  No, the idea came to me because I was reading about another cute animal dear to my heart: beagles.  The story of the fox is often wrapped up into the story of the hound.  Not only are they closely related, but, you know, one hunts the other, thanks to human beings.  I bet otherwise they'd just hang out together.

Stuff I was reading talked about domestication, which I talked about yesterday, & which led to the show today.  That's sometimes how inspiration strikes.  It's often deliberate.

& so Self Help Radio's show about foxes is on tonight on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online of course at LCR Online.  It's on from 8-10pm central & 9-11pm eastern.

The show's not nearly as cute as that picture above.  Just warning you in advance.

Placeholder: 2,700th Post

This is the 2,700th discrete bit of writing on this blog, which began September 12. 2006, just a little over eleven years ago.  It has never really had much of a purpose & continues to in that vein.

Huzzah.  Celebratory music.  Confetti.  Toasts & cheers.  Revelry.  Regret.  Depression.  Acceptance.

"Here's to 2700 more," one drunken fool burps, & is promptly punched in the face.

Preface To Foxes: Domestication

There was an argument today on the morning dogwalk between me & the wife (not me & the dogs) about the domestication of foxes.  I had read that one of the more interesting things about foxes is that, despite their being related to wolves & dogs, they have resisted domestication.

The wife, who is a smarty-pants, said, "What about the Russian foxes?"

Sadly I had to confess to her that I hadn't heard about them.  When I quickly read about them on my  phone - probably while she was picking up dog poop - I was able to point out that this particular attempt at domestication has only been going on for a few decades.  In contrast, some researchers believes humans domesticated dogs like fifteen thousand (15,000) years ago.  That's quite a difference.

Luckily she doesn't notice things like this report, which is about a fox being domesticated, although it is a fox that has been bred for its fur, so it's not a wild fox.

None of this by the way dissuades me from wanting a fox of my own.  I don't know if I could handle a wild fox, but if you know of any douchebag fox fur farms around here, let me know - it might be worth planning a rescue.

Pictures Of Foxes

Over at the Self Help Radio Facebook page, I've been sharing links to pictures of foxes.  I will also share them here now.

These 22 Photos Will Make You Fall In Love With Foxes

7 Of The Most Breathtakingly Beautiful Fox Species In The World

The Foxiest Foxes on the Internet

You're welcome!

Maybe go over & like the page to see other stuff that's posted there?

Meet My Pets (Again?) # 8: Yoko

I adopted Yoko from my sister, who died two years ago, & who asked me - when I didn't think she was very sick & when she knew no one else would - to take her if anything bad happened.  I discussed that here, but that wasn't much about Yoko.

Yoko's a chihuahua mainly - some think she may have a little hound in her, maybe dachshund - but she's scrappy & yappy & definitely wishes she could be one person's dog - it used to be my sister, now it's me, although she does fine with the other dogs & with the cats & with the wife.

Yoko & I travelled from Texas to Kentucky over two day in the summer of 2015.  She was very needy when the car wasn't moving, & so I took her with me wherever I went.  If I left her in the hotel room, she'd claw at the door & bark.  So when I went for food, I took her.  I went to a pet store to buy her food, since my sister had told me she was finicky.  & I put her dog bed - taken from my sister's house - on the hotel room bed with me, so she could sleep there.

It might be that she bonded with me then.

My wife Magda was in Spain doing research at the time & she later told me she had intended to adopt Yoko out, but Yoko stole her heart within days.  Magda gave Yoko her name, too - she said the little dog "broke up the beagles."  She also advised me that Yoko wasn't finicky, just spoiled - she would eat, Magda said, when she was hungry.  She was right - & Yoko also took to walks right away, if only to bark at everything that passed.  She especially hates bicycles & mail carriers.

She weighed over twelve pounds when I brought her home.  She now weighs between seven & eight. She's healthy, she's happy, & she has, as I've said, fit it well with the other dogs.  But she does follow me around.  If I have time to nap, she will come very happily into bed with me during the day & burrow under the covers.

& she's mellowed out.  When we have guests over, she gets used to them quickly, & remembers neighbors whom she's already met.

Magda often says that she'd rather have Pat, my sister, back, but she wishes she could tell her what a gift Yoko was to us.

Maybe I should've talked about the night I met Yoko - when Pat was in the hospital, & she asked us, who were visiting, to let her out.  Yoko hated us.  She growled & cowered in a corner.  I tried & tried to befriend her.  It wasn't until we were there for a while, when the other dogs needed to go out in the middle of the night, that she just came along with us.

Well, that's the story.  There's more to it, I guess.  Just like there's a lot more to Yoko.  The youngest, newest member of our pack.

Self Help Radio 092717: Guilt

(Original image here.)

Ah, guilt.  I have read online that it is to the soul what cancer (or pain) is to the body.  I have also read that it is a gift from Allah, warning you that what your doing is violating your soul.  Also, it's a tool of the Holy Spirit - you know, because shame is a tool of the Devil.  Guilt is conservative, too - it doesn't bring about change at all.  It's self-punishment, but also (or does it follow that) it makes us lose control of our happiness.  Anyway, if you fill your space with guilt, there won't be any room for love.  & this is just what I've read on images I saw while looking for a picture to put at the top of this page!

The best definition, which I should've used for the show but didn't, is from Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary: "Guilt, n. The condition of one who is known to have committed an indiscretion, as distinguished from the state of him who has covered his tracks."

With that in mind, I give you this week's Self Help Radio.  Full of guilt, & full of interviews, with a documentarian making a film about guilt, with chats with my spiritual mentor & my therapist, & with a historian who discusses historical guilt.  & music.  So much music.  I might almost feel a little guilt, there's so much music.

The show is now at the Self Help Radio website.  I can't guilt you into listening, but if you do, pay attention to username/password information, which is at the top of the page.  The show is in two parts; what is in each part, including the interviews, is listed below.

Listen to this show will actually remove guilt!  I hope.

(part one)

"A Little Guilt" Laptop _Opening Credits_
"Telepathic Guilt" Phoebe Blue & The Make Baleaves _Inquiries Acquired_
"The Guilt Club" Magoo _The Soateramic Sounds Of Magoo_

"Built For Guilt" Tania + Juan _Built For Guilt_
"Guilt" The Watanabes _You're Dancing I'm Absorbed_
"Guilt Trip" Andy Hendrickson _It's Ready_
"Guilt Trip" Romanovsky & Phillips _Trouble In Paradise_
"The Guilt Of My Secret" Marc Almond _Stranger Things_

interview with documentarian Allen Shariaty

"Southern Baptist Guilt" Manitoba Rock n Rolla _Self-Entitled_
"Catholic Guilt" Tom Tuerff _Something To Sell At My Gigs_
"White Guilt" Teen Vice _Saddest Summer_
"Guilt Free" Kim Salmon & The Surrealists _Ya Gotta Let Me Do My Thing_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Guilt Parade" The Birthday Party _Hee-Haw_

(part two)

"The Guilt & The Glory" Conflict _Increase The Pressure_
"White Guilt" John Wilkes Booze _Five Pillars Of Soul_
"The Guilt Must Weigh A Ton" Paper Airplane Pilots _The History Of Flying_

interview with my therapist Dr CJ Buchanan

"Sense Of Guilt" Josef K _Sorry For Laughing_
"Draygo's Guilt" The Fall _The Wonderful & Frightening World Of The Fall_
"Guilt" The Long Blondes _Couples_

interview with Harvard historian David Fruchter

"White Liberal Guilt" Milky Wimpshake _Lovers Not Fighters_
"Guilt" Those Poor Bastards _Behold The Abyss_
"Guilt" Fiction Family _Fiction Family Reunion_
"Guilt" Marianne Faithfull _Broken English_

"Guilt" Chapterhouse _Whirlpool_
"Guilt" California Wives _Affair_

Whither Guilt?

(Image from here.)

Let me tell you, there is no end to the websites online talking about guilt.  You are left with the impression that it's a common condition humans suffer from, a condition from which we are constantly seeking relief.

& of course I understand but the truth is, I probably wouldn't have done this particular show about guilt if I hadn't been listening to the new Manitoba Rock n Rolla record, Self Entitled.  There's a song on it called "Southern Baptist Guilt" that I liked which made me think, Why don't I do an entire show about guilt?

As I previously noted, a couple of days ago, I am not going to play songs which talk about being "guilty," to better focus on the state of guilt itself.  There were enough good songs to do this.  Now I have to plan a show about being guilty.  Look for it around 2021.  It does mean I can't play that new National song.  But oh well.

Tonight's Self Help Radio is on from 8-10pm central, 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Kentucky & online there & everywhere at Lexington Community Radio dot org.  You might feel a little guilt if you miss it, so why not just listen & immerse yourself in guilt?

Preface To Guilt: The Five Kinds Of Guilt

To get you ready for tomorrow's show, which is about guilt, I have been scouring the first ten results of a Google search to determine how many kinds of guilt there are.  Are there just two?  Or three?  Or four?  Or how about five?  I like five!  It's the number of fingers I have before I have to use my stupid left hand.  Let's rock this!

According to this paragraph on a web page - I mean it's not really an article, even though it does cite two sources - these are the five kinds of guilt:

One: "guilt for something that you did."  That's not very catchy, so we'll call it "Garden-Variety Common Ol' Guilt."  You fucked up, you lied, you hurt someone, you did something you have always considered wrong.  & now you feel guilty about.  Guilty enough to never do it again?  Ha ha ha no.

Two: "guilt for something you didn’t do, but want to."  Jeez, someone needs to name these better.  Can we call this "Pre-Regret Guilt"?  Or how about "Sour Grapes Guilt"?  Maybe just "Mindfuck Guilt"?  You thought about doing something you think of as wrong, but you didn't, because of fear or something, but you still feel guilty about it.  This is a particularly human form of guilt, & it makes you wish you were a sociopath or something so it didn't keep you up at night.

Three: "guilt for something you though you did."  Though you did?  Oh, thought you did.  We can call this "Dumbass Guilt."  Because you didn't do what you thought you did & eventually you're going to find out you didn't do it but for now, man, you're all thirteen kinds of upset about doing it.  In many cases of Dumbass Guilt (I should be paid for this), you probably already know you didn't do it, but you kinda needed some reason to feel guilty so you were like, What if?

Four: "guilt caused by thinking that you hadn't done enough."  This is probably best exemplified by "White Liberal Guilt," a term I didn't coin but a feeling most sensitive types feel when they realize dumb luck gave them advantages & resources that 99% of the world doesn't have.  Some people convince themselves they deserve what obvious chance had given them, but this isn't about delusion, it's about guilt.  By the way, this kind of guilt should be more pervasive.  It might mean people would actually help those less fortunate than themselves.  Instead, we get the alt-right.

Five: "guilt that you are doing better than someone else."  This is a kind of half-assed description of "Survivor's Guilt," which is not guilt you feel when you realize that you actually paid money to see the band Survivor.  A better description, from Wikipedia, is this: "a mental condition that occurs when a person believes they have done something wrong by surviving a traumatic event when others did not."  Which is sort of like what this person is getting at, but not really.

Let's be clear: this week's show will examine guilt, not attempt to alleviate it or solve it or treat it.  That's because Self Help Radio is not a self-help radio show.  Think about how poorly the show is as a just plain radio show, & then imagine how bad it would be as something helpful!

You're welcome.

Stupid Rule Alert!

There is this problem I have:

When thinking about doing a radio show, I often imagine that I am giving the themes short-shrift.  I think to myself, "This theme is too broad, why, there are more than one radio shows here!"

This has happened with this week's show.  The theme is "guilt."  Naturally, a show about guilt ought to feature songs about people who are (or aren't) guilty, right?

Wrong!

That could be a whole other show!

Today I went through & eliminated all the "guilty" songs.  I wanted the show to focus on guilt.

& so it shall.

Because there's something really, really wrong with me.

When if ever will I do a "guilty" show?

Meet My Pets (Again?) # 7: Boone

Boone is the second animal we adopted while we were in Kentucky.  I told the story of finding him previously on the blog.

The "scabbed-over sore on his foot" turned out to be a bite & it was infected.  To treat it, the vet who neutered him gave him antibiotics; that didn't work.  Our regular vet actually removed the skin from around the bite & let the skin & hair grow back naturally.  It was freaky but it saved his life.

He's our youngest cat & he was so brave, coming out to meet two big humans walking three annoying dogs, but he's the shyest cat we have.  He's got a sweet quiet meow, he doesn't feel the need to gulp all his food at one time (so he begs for food all day long), & he loves to play & cuddle.  I think that night we brought him home I knew we'd keep him.  I was worried that he might have FIV or feline leukemia but so far his biggest issue is that he's allergic to flea bites, so we make him wear a flea collar.

Did I mention he was unbearably sweet?  Because he is.  Just too too sweet.

Self Help Radio 092017: Lightning

(Original image here.)

First of all: sincerest apologies for all the lightning in Lexington last night.  I had no idea my radio show about lightning would cause intense electrical storms all through the WLXU listening area.  I am told there were no fatalities, but still: the power of radio is not to be denied.  My upcoming radio show about big fiery things falling from the sky has been shelved for the time being.

But I hope it was a good show!  In addition to music that worked as a lightning rod (again, sorry about that), you heard some interesting interviews: I talked to children's educator Mr. Weather; to documentary filmmaker Allen Shariaty; to a man who has been struck by lightning fifteen times, CJ Buchanan; & to my spiritual mentor the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently.  So much information!  I can only hope that some of it was actually true.

The show is crackling now at the Self Help Radio website.  Please pay attention to username/password information - that's on the page, though.  The show is in two parts, & what's in each part is listed below.

Did you hear that?  It sounded like - naw, it couldn't be.  The show's over!

(part one)

"What Makes The Lightning?" Tom Glazer _Weather Songs (From Ballads For The Age Of Science)_
"Lightning Strikes" Planning By Numbers _1: Catch The Beat_
"Heat Lightnin'" Tuscadero _The Pink Album_

"Zig Zag Lightning" Little Johnny Taylor _The In Crowd: The Story Of Northern Soul_
"Lightning & Thunder" The Tidal Wave _Lightning & Thunder_
"Lightning" The Popguns _Another Year Another Address: The Best Of The Midnight Years_
"Twin Layers Of Lightning" The Go-Betweens _Liberty Belle & The Black Diamond Express_

interview with Mr. Weather

"White Lightnin'" George Jones _Ragged But Right: The Starday Years Plus_
"Smokestack Lightning" Howlin' Wolf _Chess Pieces_
"Greased Lightnin' (Single Version)" John Travolta & Jeff Conaway _Grease OST_
"1952 Vincent Black Lightning" Mary Lou Lord _Live City Sounds_

interview with spiritual leader Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Lightning Frightening" David Bowie _The Man Who Sold The World_
"Thunder & Lightning" Tooter Boatman _Rockin' Tooter Boatman_

(part two)

"Lightning Strikes (Not Once But Twice) (live)" The Clash _Clash On Broadway_
"Lightning Rod, Run" Deerhoof _The Runners Four_
"Lightning Strikes" Klaus Nomi _Klaus Nomi_

interview with documentarian Allen Shariaty

"Lightning Strikes The Postman" The Flaming Lips _Clouds Taste Metallic_
"Baby Lightning" American Death Ray _Smash Radio Hits_
"Remember The Lightning" 20/20 _20/20_
"Flash Lightning" Tom Verlaine _Tom Verlaine_

interview with lightning strike survivor CJ Buchanan

"Lightning Bug Blues" The Allen Brothers _The Complete Recordings, Vol. 2: 1930-1932_
"White Lightnin'" Sheb Wooley _MGM Hillbilly, Vol. 3_
"She Steers By Lightning" Richard Thompson _You? Me? Us?_
"Lightning Strikes" The Grenadines _Cables To The Ace_

"When Lightning Starts" The Three O'Clock _Sixteen Tambourines_
"White Lightning" The Monochrome Set _Dante's Casino_

Whither Lightning?

(Image from here.)

The idea for a radio show about lightning came to me in a flash.  It just struck me as a bright idea.  It was enlightning, you might say.  Like a bolt from the blue - you might be shocked to hear this - I felt positive that I wouldn't be charged with plagiarism or imitation - it felt like it would be current & would spark people's interest.

Ohm sorry about that.  I have little resistance to puns!

& promise!  Very few if any lightning puns tonight.  Just lots of songs & lots of interviews: the educator Mr. Weather, my spiritual mentor Howard Gently, documentarian Allen Shariaty, & lightning-strike survivor CJ Buchanan.  The show, I think, will be electrifying.

Tonight!  On 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at the Lexington Community Radio website.  From 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central.

& perfectly safe.  Even though lightning rarely strikes in the same place for two hours.

Preface To Lightning: Storm Chasing

Do you remember the movie Twister?  I don't.  I think Philip Seymour Hoffman was in it.  & Helen Hunt.  & either Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman.  Did those guys ever make a movie together?  How would we know?

This is a line I like, which I will probably read on this week's show: "Lightning seeks out the shortest route to something with a positive charge."  The shortest route.  If you are struck by lightning, not only was it because you were positive (better to stay negative), but it was because you were the nearest to wherever the lightning began.  Let that sink in.  You were closest to where the negative side of the lightning was, & you completed the circuit.  Maybe write that on your tombstone?

& no, I've never been anywhere near struck by lightning.  I have been very close, because I know how to count after a lightning strike to figure out its proximity.  Here's a children's website to teach you how to do that.  In case you didn't know.  I don't remember when I learned that, but it's something I've known for a long, long time.  Long enough to know, when I barely get to "five Mississippi," that I need to say, "That was close!"

Thinking about it, I don't remember many thunderstorms in Kentucky.  There was more rain than in Texas, but less storms.  Here, every rain event is a fucking storm.  Perhaps because Fort Worth is on the edge of the plains & storms roll in from the west.  Or maybe because Texas weather is like an eleventh grade thespian - or an eleventh grader period - everything is heightened.  Texas weather is like an eleventh grader relating to a song by the Cure.  It's all hyperbole & superlative.  & I thought that before Hurricane Harvey!

Here in Fort Worth lately it's been hot - not over 100 degrees Fahrenheit hot, but hot - & there's no rain in the forecast at all.  I can't say the same for Kentucky - I believe you guys got Irma rain & it's definitely cooler.  But it doesn't look like there'll be lightning for the show tomorrow night.

But of course I once did a morning show about sunrise in the winter when the sun didn't rise until late in the morning.  Self Help Radio has never claimed to be immediate or even relevant; when it appears it is, it's mostly accident or coincidence.

What do you want?  I don't own an almanac or anything!

Do People With Nervous Disorders Object To Animated GIFs?

Because I sure do.

Can you stop an animated gif?  I know that you can (most of the time) stop an embedded video, but, especially on Tumblr, an animated gif will just loop & loop & loop.  & it might have been delightful at some point, but now it's mainly annoying.

& speaking of, what about those pages - it seems like there's a few on otherwise reputable news & opinion sites - where there are more than one embedded video that plays, one after the other, impossible to find & therefore impossible to close or stop?  Can that be good for the advertiser?  Who in a rage trying to shut the damn page up is going to say, "Oh wait.  I need this product?"

& let's not even talk about the more illegitimate places on the web - not the Deep Web or the Dark Web or whatever - but the places were illicit things can be found - in my case, it's usually mp3s from a web page stored on a third party site - where just clicking anywhere on the page causes a cascade of open windows, some of which say dumb shit like "your computer has been infected - please call this number for help."  Who falls for that?  I guess some do.  But how irritating!

I understand this is the model that exists to help pay for online content.  It doesn't mean that I have be okay with it.  So enough with the looped animation, please!

Meet My Pets (Again?) # 6: Pauline

Have you ever seen that bumper sticker that says "Who rescued who?"  It looks like this:

(found here)

It's a sweet & apt sentiment, although grammatically incorrect (it should read, "Who rescued whom?").  Many of us who adopt animals from shelters find ourselves far more rewarded than the animals, & that probably has as much to do with the fact that humans & canines have co-evolved for millennia as it does with the personalities of the animals involved.  But it's very true that Pauline, whom we adopted the day after our beloved George died in 2012, saved our lives.

As I wrote about here, George's death was as traumatic an experience as I've ever had in my life, & the night he died, I drank & drank & never got drunk.  Grief would not let me.  I had suggested to my wife that we might adopt another beagle by & by, & the next day she told me there were beagles puppies at the Lexington Humane Society.  The house had not felt the same since George had gone.  We were uncomfortable in our own skins.  We saw him everywhere, we looked for him everywhere, we felt lost & alone despite still having two dogs & three cats.  He took up that much space in our house & in our lives.

We went to look at two little beagle-ish girls (it was obvious even then they had some hound in them) & although if I could do it again I would've adopted both of them, I picked the one who looked most like a beagle & we brought Pauline home.  She was the last of the Beatle beagle names: George, Ringo, & Winston (which was John Lennon's middle name) were taken, but she was a girl, so she had to be a feminized Paul.  A puppy in the house brought it back to life, she distracted us from our loss, she needed food & love & attention & giving it to her was the best grief therapy around.

Of course, Pauline has grown up pampered, spoiled, & bratty, & she's very jealous & very demanding.  She's also, as I've said before, the first dog we've ever had who just loves being a dog, so nowadays, when it isn't too hot, she spends her time in her backyard - which my wife claims was a big reason for buying the house we live in now - just let that sink in: we bought a house partially so Pauline could have a good backyard.  That's how much she means to us.

She loves people & loves dogs & loves eating (that's the beagle part of her) & in general loves life.  She isn't much of a cuddler, but loves kissing.  She has only slept in our bed at night a fraction of the time the others have.  But after Winston, she's my favorite.  I'm so grateful to her, & I think she knows.  & takes advantage of the fact.

She's the one pet we have who'd be happier meeting you than vice versa.

Self Help Radio 091317: Dancing

(It's the foxtrot! Original image here.)

Two hours of dancing!  Good thing everyone was drunk!

As I previously explained, the theme for this show was suggested to me, so I felt a good deal of pressure making it - I mean, I wanted the person who asked me to do the theme to enjoy the show - & now that it's done, I wonder if I did a good job.  I haven't heard yet.  & now I realize that the bigger a deal I make about it, the less likely it will be that others will suggest a theme.  I'm so needy & eager to please!

The wife snottily asked me last night when the last time I went dancing was.  It was probably at a wedding or something.  I haven't danced at an actual club since half my life ago.  But the other day, when I was mowing the lawn, & listening to music on my phone, I did kinda dance when there was a very danceable song in my ears.  Mowing/dancing.  Could be dangerous though.  & no one can hear the music but me, so perhaps the neighbors thought I was having a fit.

No, I will not do a show about mowing.  I might do a show about lawns & yards, though.  One day.

The show about dancing is doing its thing at the Self Help Radio website.  There's no cover to get in to that crappy club but you will need a username ("SHR") & a password ("selfhelp").  The show is in two halves, & what's in the halves, including the interviews, is listed below.

Don't forget to hydrate!

(part one)

"We Love Dancing" Arling & Cameron _All In_
"Dancing In Wild Circles" Holger Czukay _Good Morning Story_

"Arthur Murray Taught Me Dancing In A Hurry" Helen O'Connell with Jimmy Dorsey & His Orchestra _The Best Of Helen O'Connell On Capitol_
"Dancing With Myself" Nouvelle Vague _Bande À Part_
"On Slow Dancing" Fabio _Fabio After Dark_
"Keep On Dancing" The Commodores _Funk Drops, Vol. 3: Breaks, Nuggets, & Rarities_
"Dancing" Standard Fare _Indietracks 2010: An Indiepop Compilation_

interview with dance instructor CJ Buchanan

"Can We Go Dancing" The Amber Squad _This Is Mod, Vol. 1: The Rarities 1979-1981_
"Up Here For Thinking, Down There For Dancing" Tono & The Finance Company _Up Here For Dancing_
"Nothing Matters When We're Dancing" The Magnetic Fields _69 Love Songs, Vol. 1_
"Dancing Queen" Redd Kross _Secret Life_

interview with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently about dancing & spirituality

"Dancin' Late At Night" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Modern Lovers 88_

(part two)

"John, I'm Only Dancing" David Bowie _The Rise & Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars_
"Dancing" Bauhaus _Mask_
"Dancing Barefoot" Patti Smith Group _Wave_

interview with dancer David Fruchter

"Those Dancing Days" Those Dancing Days _Those Dancing Days_
"Dancing In The Public Eye" Frankie Cosmos _Zentropy_
"Him Dancing" Throwing Muses _The Real Ramona_
"Dancing Octopi Occupy The Mind's Eye" Drug Boyfriend _Dancing Octopi Occupy The Mind's Eye_
"Suita De Danturi De Jucat/Dant Pe Sus/Dant Pe Mijloc" Stefan Olar & Petre Huta _World Library Of Folk & Primitive Music Romania_

interview with felon Jerry Tausend about dance therapy for rehabilitation

"Dancing In The Dark" The Snuggle Ups _Bridging The Distance: A Portland OR Cover Compilation_
"Dancing In The Street" Martha & The Vandellas _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 4: 1964_
"No Dancing" Basement Apartment _Transistor!_
"No Dancing" Elvis Costello _My Aim Is True_
"Come Dancing" The Kinks _State Of Confusion_

"Dancing To Music I Hate" Shimmering Stars _Violent Hearts_
"Dancing (With A Hole In My Heart)" The Mantles _Extended Dorkout: Singles & Leftovers_
"Dancing To The Beat" Clarence Murray _Action Speaks Louder Than Words: The Best Of SSS International_

Whither Dancing?

(Image from here.)

"Dancing" is the theme for this week's Self Help Radio.  I am happy to report that it was not a theme I thought of myself.  Nope, someone suggested it.  They wrote to me at gary at self help radio dot net & asked, one, if I ever did a show about dancing (which was easy to check - though my memory is very faulty, there is an index page on the website which lists all the themes the show has covered), & two, if not, would I?  They also asked if I would not say their name, because, of course, being associated with Self Help Radio is never really a good idea.

That probably isn't a terribly satisfying reason for why the show has the theme it has this week, but it happens to be true.  It also happens to be rare - I always wonder why more folks don't request themes for the show.  One reason, of course, is that not many people listen to the show.  Other than that, I just don't know.  I don't think I've ever refused a theme, at least not in the last few years.  I would often, in the past, refuse themes that were way too general, like "cars."  One guy who listened in Austin called every so often to ask me to do a show about "cars."  If it had been around at the time, I would've said, "Bob Dylan covered it on his show already."  Who wants to follow Dylan?  He's a headliner!

Last week, technical problems at WLXU resulted in the previous week's show airing instead of that week's show.  I have received no information that suggests this will happen again, so let's hope that tonight's show about dancing finds itself ready to boogie from 9-11pm eastern at 93.9 fm in Lexington & online at LCR online.  I think I'll have a few drinks before the show; that way I'll be less self-conscious.  After all, we'll be dancing together for two hours!

Preface To Dancing: Too Pooped To Promenade

(Image from here.)

Ha!  I envy those dance marathon weirdos in the above picture because I was just as tired today but without anyone to lean on.  Listen:

While I was working on this week's SHR yesterday - I know it seems like the show is slapped together at the last possible minute but I really do put some effort into it - I got a text from a KNON deejay asking me if I could sub her show the next day, from 7-9am.  I said yes without realized what I was doing - I'll probably never get a show on KNON & I miss live radio so I jump at (almost) every opportunity.  When I realized I had a ton of work to do for Self Help Radio, I began to panic.

You're probably not like this, but when the pressure of a deadline approaches, I feel the urge to just take a nap.  It's dumb.  I get tired, I imagine that the closer it gets to something being due, the harder I work.  I forget that I get desperate & lazy.  But I began trying to work on two simultaneous shows.

Forcing myself to go to bed at midnight, I hoped to sleep five hours.  I tossed & turned & was back fretting about radio shows at three am.  Which is good - I had to turn in Self Help Radio to WLXU by four pm or it wouldn't get put on the automation by tomorrow (although these days that's not quite a guarantee either way) - so I got a lot of work done.  But!

KNON is about forty-five minutes away.  More if there's traffic.  & morning traffic starts in Dallas around 5am.  I got to the station.  I did the show.  I had fun!  The deejay has someone come in with a band or performer around 8:20 & I got to "record" someone on the air, something I haven't done for quite a long time.

Afterwards, I headed home.  Stupidly, I had caffeine.

A couple of years ago I gave up caffeine.  I had tapered off but during a long road trip I drank sodas to keep me awake; when I got home, I couldn't sleep, & the next day I had awful caffeine withdrawal headaches.  I said no more.  But today I was desperate.  I had had less than three hours sleep the night before.  & I still had stuff to edit!

That's the worst thing about prerecording a show.  Sure, I could just do it live to tape & send it off but that's not who I am.  If I can make something slightly better out of my miserable work, I'll try.  I didn't try much today, though.  I wanted to get it done.  & I did, hopefully on time.

Then I was up for three more hours while the caffeine made me jittery.  Holy shit.  All of this for radio.  Why aren't there opportunities for SHR in DFW?  IDK!

When I finally fell asleep, I was unconscious, dreamless, for around five hours.  The wife came home expecting dinner & instead thought about calling paramedics.

So - you see those exhausted dancing couples up above?  That's me today.  All of them.  All of them are me.

& you know what?  I don't think I'll get to bed at a decent hour.  Because I need to be up at 6am.  For fuck's sake!

Dancing, Not Danson

(Image from here.)

There appears to have been a misunderstanding.  The show this week is about dancing.  It is not about Danson, meaning Emmy-winning actor Ted Danson.

It's understandable why there would be a mix-up: the word "dancing" & the name "Danson" are almost homophones.  "Dancin' with Danson" would be a fun reality show or perhaps a Youtube series of shorts.  Or it could be "Danson with Dancin'," a series where talented dancers choreograph productions while images of Ted Danson are projected onto them.  Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if there were a troupe called The Dancin' Dansons, where each dancer assumed an identity based on characters Ted Danson has played: Sam Malone from "Cheers," George Christopher from "Bored To Death," Hank Larrson from "Fargo," etc.

What there isn't, alas, are a plethora of songs about Ted Danson.  Lots of songs about dancing, not many songs about Danson.  It would really just be me playing that "Where Everybody Knows You're Name" song for two hours & wondering how come I never saw any of the CSI episodes he was on.

Why would people think the show would be about Ted Danson?  That's easy.  Imagine someone is asking another person, in casual conversation, "Oh hey, what is Self Help Radio about this week?"  The person replies, "Dancin'."  & the first person hears "Danson."  I'm sure that happens all the time.  "Want to go dancin'?" a friend asks, & you reply, "Go Danson?  What does that mean?"  Frankly the man has been a linguistic nightmare for decades now.

My apologies if you wanted an entire show about Ted Danson.  Maybe in the future.  Well, most probably not.  This week the show is about dancing.

Again, sorry for the confusion.

Meet My Pets (Again) # 5: Bronte

Five years ago, when I detailed the animals in my house, I said about Bronte, here's the last of my pets.  I said that here.  Oh what a difference five years makes!

Bronte is no longer the youngest aminal in the house - she has three younger siblings!  & the famously asthmatic Bronte hasn't really had any respiratory distress in a long time - she is given an inhaler twice a day (if you'd like to know how that happens, click here) & she takes her meds & eats as much as she can & wanders around the house like the snuffleupagus she turned out to be.

She remains attached to Bolan, with whom she spends the most time, but also she will come to me or her mom & need to be petted, or need someone to pad on (what an old friend of mine used to call "making bread"), or just want to be loved.  She seems on the surface to be shy, aloof, skittish - but the last time we took her to the vet, she strolled boldly about the examination room, causing the staff there to say, "What a headstrong kitty!"

She is.  We are glad we were able to make her healthy so she could be that way.  Sweet Bronte!

Self Help Radio 090617: Guards

(Seriously, these guys are all anyone on the internet thinks about when you type in the word "guards."  Original image here.)

Please enjoy this great, unaired episode of Self Help Radio.  Well, at the very least it was unaired.  & even that seems too generous.

A radio show about guards would be derelict in its duty if it didn't talk about security guards (there's an interview with the dean of the Security Guard School Of America), about art guards (there's an interview with one of them), & about guardian angels (a topic the show's spiritual advisor discusses & expands upon).  In addition, there's a summery set of songs about lifeguards, & something weird happens to me as I am visited by an FBI agent dressed like some kind of guard.  & so many songs.  Why so many songs?  I have a guarded opinion about that.

The show is on guard at the Self Help Radio website.  Please note that, much like being stopped at a guard post before being allowed to enter, you'll need a username & a password.  I wish the password was "swordfish":



But no, the username is "SHR" & the password is "selfhelp."  The shows are divided in two, & what's in the two parts, including the interviews, is listed below.

(part one)

"Border Guards" The Rosebuds _Life Like_
"Changing Of The Guard" The Marquis Of Kensington _The London Look_
"Invisible Ones Guard the Gate" Orenda Fink _Invisible Ones_

"Coast Guard (feat. Holy Worm)" Drug Boyfriend _Coast Guard_
"Coastguard" The Young Knives _Junky Music Make My Heart Beat Faster_
"The Unguarded Moment" The Church _The Church_
"Mon Ange Gardien" April March _All Is Fair In Love & Chickfactor: CF Mixtape 1_

interview with art guard David Fruchter

"Art Guard" Fishboy _Art Guards_
"Standing Guard" Wastrels _Jenner Affair_
"Knocking Down Guardrails" Tina Peel _Pajama Party!_
"River Guard" Smog _Knock Knock_

a discussion about guardian spirits with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Please Don't Talk To The Lifeguard" Andrea Carroll _Meet The Carroll "Family" Girls_
"What Does A Lifeguard Do In The Fall" June August _Surf Bunnies & Hot Rod Honeys_

(part two)

"Mr Lifeguard (Come & Rescue Me)" Brenda Holloway _The Artistry Of Brenda Holloway_
"I Wanna Be A Lifeguard" Blotto _Hello! My Name Is Blotto. What's Yours?_
"Lifeguard On Duty" Morrissey _Bona Drag_

interview with Security Guard School Of American Dean CJ Buchanan

"Lonely Security Guard" Hayden _In Field & Town_
"Honor Guard" Tobin Sprout _The Universe & Me_
"Traffic Guards" Ronnie Willhoite _The Doorkeepers: A Church Leadership Development Program For Ushers_
"Hopes Up, Guard Down" The Safes _Record Heat_
"Blue Our Old Cell Block Guard" Dale Watson & His Lone Stars _People I've Known, Places I've Been_

surprise visit with FBI Agent Allen Shariaty

"Guardian Angel" Donnie & The Del Chords _Donnie & The Del Chords_
"Guardian Angel" The Children _Every Single Day_
"Guardian Angel" Smack Dab _Majestic Root_
"Guardian Angel" Human Sexual Response _Fig. 15_
"Guardian Angels" Wyldlife _The Time Has Come To Rock & Roll_

"Changing Of The Guards" Patti Smith _Twelve_

Whither Guards?

(A security guard in Santa Rosa, California, outside a Whole Foods.)

Can I tell you, I feel like I've been a little off.  Been a little depressed, been sleeping poorly, been managing my time unwisely.  I think this has been reflected in the last couple of shows, in both of which I make some pretty dumb mistakes.  I corrected those mistakes on the files which are on the show's website, but for those who were listening, it must've been a case of "it's usually not very good but this week it's worse!"

Not that I'm promising this week will be any better.  Maybe just the opposite: I'm warning you that my slump continues.  But things seemed to go more smoothly for me this week.  The proof is in the radio pudding, of course.  I could very well be writing about this again next week.

So, why guards?  I think the idea for this show came about because of an interesting juxtaposition of experiences.  On a Sunday afternoon a few months ago, I was at the Modern Art Museum Of Fort Worth to see a movie.  They have a theater, you see.  My wife had gone to get the tickets & I was wandering around, looking at gift shop stuff.  I noticed that a security guard nearby seemed to be watching me closely.  I looked at him, he looked away.  I looked away, he turned back to me.  That was weird.  I don't think I look like the kind of guy who would grab a bunch of art postcards & make a run for it.  I looked again, he looked away.  The wife called to me & we went to see the movie.

Later that day I was listening to the new album by Fishboy which is called Art Guards & which has a song on it called "Art Guards."  It occurred to me that museums might be a good theme.  But then I thought, thinking about the furtive security guard earlier, that guards might be a good theme.  The idea was planted, & it was time to harvest this week.  You'll hear the results tonight!

Yes, tonight, from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online as always at Lexington Community Radio Online.  The station has a cool new website, by the way.  I dig it.

Anyway, listen.  Tell me if it sounds like I'm worser than usual.  I can take the criticism.  I'm not at all guarded.  Even tonight!

Preface To Guards: My Own Small Experience In Guarding

No, I have never worked as a security guard.  I've never been employed in any type of security or guarding at all.  Except.  Let me think.

You know, I was thinking about this.  In the Peanuts comic, if I am remembering correctly, there were times when some of the characters got to be crossing guards.  Which means, the people who walked into the road to stop the automobiles from coming through an intersection when children were passing.  If that were something that happened in the past, it did not happen when I was a kid.  Crossing guards were almost always slightly loopy retirees who probably had nothing else to do that day.  Allowing kids to do it would have been crazy.

But perhaps we had hall monitors.  These fucking quislings were students who told on other students who might be trying to cut class or otherwise sneak around, perhaps to go to the bathroom.  I don't remember if my school had hall monitors, but I suppose I would've been glad to be one, anything to relieve the boredom of schooling.  Although standing in the halls pretending to have authority would have been just as boring.  I would not have felt that a sash or a title would have allowed me to tell anyone to do anything.

Probably the one time I ever guarded - or the two times, or whatever - would be whenever I worked the door at some radio station benefit.  In effect, I was a bouncer, which, you must admit, is a kind of guard.  Many times have I checked IDs, looked up will-call names, put wristbands on or stamped hands, all at benefits for whatever radio station I was currently deejaying at.

& if those are experience as guards, then I have virtually no experience at all.  I've never turned anyone away, or tried to cow a disgruntled customer, or thrown my weight around at some difficult situation.  Would I be good at such a thing?  I doubt it!

As for the official guards - the National Guard, the Coast Guard, the Guardians Of The Galaxy - I of course don't qualify for those.  Too old, flat feet, a coward - too many reasons why not.

Anyway, if I were a security guard, it would end up like this poor bastard in The Wire:

Twin Peaks

Back in the day, the late 80s, early 90s, I wasn't what you would call a David Lynch fan.  I suffered through Eraserhead, I was massively bored by Dune, I enjoyed (if that's the right word) Blue Velvet, & I liked Wild At Heart enough, especially because I felt like it encapsulated the themes Lynch was interested in & would return to in his later works.  But nothing knocked me out as much as Twin Peaks*.  It was funny, it was weird, it was terrifying.  There was nothing like it on television, & even in my twenties I knew that meant it was doomed.

My friend Kevin at work turned me on to it - I didn't watch much television in those, my college days.  But I devoured it.  I have the first six episodes memorized.

Of course, the show lost its audience (I remember even some members of my family watched the first few episodes) & the cliffhanger at the end of season two was infuriating.  I was amazed & excited when a revival - a "return" - was announced.

& gosh, was it great!  The past few Sundays have been a joy because of that magical show.  & then last night, the final episode.  Well.  Here's what I said on Facebook:

There are very few television shows that end as strong as they begin.  One of the failings of the first version of Twin Peaks was that it wanted to be a regular weekly television show, which meant it had to add uninteresting plot points to pad episodes.  If American television had the same tradition British television has, we could have had three or four satisfying "series" of Twin Peaks in the nineties, some twenty-four episodes, all strong.  But that's not how it works here.

Some television shows end weakly because they lose popularity.  Some end because they run out of ideas.  & some of them end in such a way they completely invalidate what made them great or captivating in the first place (I'm looking at you, Dexter & Sons Of Anarchy).  None of these really apply to Twin Peaks.

It's been utterly extraordinary how much of a singular (or dual, if you count Mark Front, the series' co-creator) vision this season of Twin Peaks has been.  That's why I can't hate how the show ended.  But I can feel a little betrayed, &, like I said above, resentful.  & this is what I said on Twitter:

That actually doesn't make any sense, but I think I was trying to make the point that no one is really going to understand the series' ending as well as those who made it, although there's a lotta discussion today on the interwebs about that.  Which is fine, discuss away.  I just wish there had been some resolution, instead of an open-ended, open-to-interpretation fade to black.  I am very unhappy about it, although I again stress it hasn't affected the overall experience enough for me to change my love to disgust.

What I am going to do is pretend it ended somewhere in the middle of the 17th episode & the rest doesn't really count.  It's kind of like the comic book Daredevil at the end of the "Born Again" storyline, or the comic Swamp Thing after Alan Moore left.  The endings of those were so satisfying that the comics should've stopped there, or at least been allowed to rest for a few years.  But nope.  Lesser writers & artists took over, & I left.  I'm just going to say I left when Cooper returned to save the day & imagine that the rest of the journey was something some fanboy told me he read about on the internet & I said, "Gee, that's interesting, but also, you must admit, kinda dumb."

Also, David Lynch & I share a birthday.  Just thought I should mention that.

* For the record, my favorite David Lynch film is The Straight Story.

Meet My Pets (Again) # 4: Winston

My favorite puppy is Winston.  It's true.  I admitted it five years ago & I'll say it again now.  He's the beagle that made me fall in love with beagles.  The other two beagles we had previously are my wife's dogs.  George was my wife's before she & I met.  Ringo is still more attached to her, to the point that, sure, he's happy to see me when I come home, but he still runs to the door to wait for her, & he cries out when she's not here.

But Winston, though he still loves his mom more than me, he touched my heart in a way that surprised me.  Before him, I thought I was a cat person, or at least leaned toward cats.  Winston made the balance equal in my heart.  He was so small, he had an affliction (described in the previously linked post), he needed more love & attention, & also he demanded that.

As he's gotten older, he's grayed more than his brothers, but he's still as scrappy as ever, despite back problem, gut problems, teeth problems, & weakened back legs.  He's nigh unstoppable.

The other night he was in bed between me & the wife, & he got up, as he does, to go find somewhere else to sleep.  It always breaks my heart when any of the animals do that, but instead of tumbling off the bed, he came up next to me, turned a couple of times, & made a huffing noise, & plopped under my arm.  You cannot imagine how happy that made me.

The next night, of course, he slept in the living room.

Self Help Radio 083017: Indiepop A To Z # 54

(Almost all these images found at Discogs.)

& there's another episode in the can.  How was it?  There sure are a lot of bands that I consider indiepop, aren't there?  & they don't have all the same sound, do they?  These are a lot of questions.  Perhaps they're rhetorical.

Sometimes I wonder if an archivist must also be a completist.  The week before I do this show, I listen to a lot of music.  If I had my druthers, if my druthers hadn't been gone long before I knew I had druthers, I would be even more inclusive.  I would say, as the kids do, "This may not be indiepop, but it's indiepop-adjacent!"  Do the kids say that?  I mean, with words other than indiepop.  I haven't been around kids for a long time.  They grow up, up, & away so fast.  Or is that just superkids?

In any event, this might be a fun show for you to listen to while you're waiting in line for precious gasoline, since one of the main places we get that from is under water right now.  I don't mean to make light of the ongoing tragedy in Houston & the Texas coast - my heart goes out to the people there, I hope they find themselves someplace safe & I hope that the city recovers quickly.  I just hope those people who are waiting in lines & griping about it understand their inconvenience is minor compare to actual suffering just three hundred miles away.

Jeez, I didn't mean to get weird.  It's on my mind, you know.  The show can be listened to at the Self Help Radio website.  There's a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) you'll need to listen, if you want.  The show is in two parts; what's in those parts is below.

In four months, if the world hasn't turn into Mad Max: Fury Road, we'll finish the "Ma"s & get to the "Mc"s.  Promise!

(part one)

"The Choice You Have" Malory _Outerbeats_
"California Dreamin'" The Mamas & The Papas _All The Leaves Are Brown: The Golden Era Collection_
"Drive Drive Drive" The Man From Delmonte _The Good Things In Life_

"Country Boy" The Man Upstairs _Sad In My Heart 7"_
"Indecision" Manatee _Indecision_
"More Than Happy" The Mandelbrot Set _A Place Called Kansas_
"Things You've Never Done" The Manhattan Love Suicides _The Manhattan Love Suicides_
"Rasberry Thighs" The Mantles _Long Enough To Leave_

"Sucker" Maow _The Unforgiving Sounds Of... Maow_
"La Balada De La Primavera" Le Mans _Moshi Moshi (Pop International Style)_
"Still Dreaming" The Marble Staircase _Whaam! Bam! Thank You Dan!_
"Go Marilee" Marbles _Pyramid Landing & Other Favorites_
"Oh Constance" Marden Hill _Dream Topping: él Retrospective_

"Through The Hole" Mardi Picasso _Smerk_
"Welcome To Stalingrad" Montt Mardie _Skaizerkite_

(part two)

"I'm So Happy" The Mare _I'm So Happy_
"Musicienne" Marie Antoinette _Musicienne_
"Waiting In Line" The Marigolds _Wild!_

"Lazy Ways" Marine Girls _Lazy Ways/Beach Party_
"Big Sur" Marine Life _Fool Of A Kind_
"Hopefulness To Hopelessness" Marine Research _Sounds From The Gulf Stream_
"When Will You Realise That I Care" Marine Time Keepers _When Will You Realise That I Care_
"One Inch Punch" Mark 700 _Cohiba_

"Dead Girl In My Bed" The Marmite Sisters _Tug EP_
"Mercy Mercy, To My Melancholic Life Journey" The Marshmallow Kisses _Ciao! Baby_
"First Kiss" The Marteens _The Sound Of Leamington Spa, Vol. 4_
"1997, Passing In The Hallway" Martha _Courting Strong_
"Fish Bowl" Mary-Go-Round _Plays Golden Hits_

"Lost" The Mary Onettes _The Mary Onettes_
"Evensong" Mary Queen Of Scots _Mary Queen Of Scots/Peru Split 7"_
"Follow The Sound" Mascott _Follow The Sound_

Whither Indiepop A To Z # 54?

(Marine Girls, one of the bands you'll hear on tonight's show, image from here.)

Yes, we're fifty-four episodes in.  It's a little crazy.  We began the letter M last time, four months ago, & if all goes well tonight, we'll explore bands & artists whose names fit somewhere between Malory & Marzipan.  Yes, there are a lot of bands who will appear in the letter M.  I may not finish it this decade.

But what a bunch of good music!  & from all over: the states, Great Britain, Australia, Sweden, Canada, Spain, Hong Kong, France, Germany.  & pretty equally divided gender-wise - there are four bands whose name includes the word "Marine" & all of them are female-fronted.  Marine Girls, pictured above, were all women.  Indiepop is international & it's not at all sexist.  I celebrate that!

Come listen, tonight from 9-11pm eastern (8-10pm central) on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online everywhere at Lexington Community Radio dot org.  It should be fun.  At least the music.  I make no promises about my place in this.

Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 54: Sisyphus

(Somehow I never imagined Sisyphus as so muscular, but I guess in Hell you still get rewarded for constantly working out.  Image from here.)

Actually, there won't be any discussion of Sisyphus in this little blog post.  Except to say, you know who I'm talking about, right?  The guy condemned to roll a rock up a hill for eternity?  When he gets to the bottom, he goes back to the top of the slide, where he stops, & he turns, & goes for a little ride?  Wait, no, that's Charles Manson.  Anyway, I think you know what I'm talking about.  I won't be talking about that right now.  Though I do have to briefly talk about it to let you know I'm not going to talk about it.

What I did want to say, which I hope to say during tomorrow's show, but which I sometimes forget to say, is that my stupid Indiepop A To Z adventure owes a hell of a lot to the band list at Twee dot net.  I haven't counted how many bands they have on the list - for the letter M, there are 92 (!) - but even if I had stuck to the list (I haven't) I would probably still not be finished with the series.  But it's been perfect as a skeleton for which to hang my own idears about indiepop, plus I have discovered a few bands thanks to them!

Also it's important to point out that, as the Internet has gotten bigger, it's become much easier to find the more obscure bands, the ones that just released a single in 1987.  Indiepop thrives on singles, on flexi-discs & compilation appearances, & on playing out - the latter of which I have no access to.  One band that released a great single might have been active touring around England for years.

Sometimes I do wish I had been an archivist, & so this series sometimes serves to feed that desire in me.  But I have to acknowledge that this hasn't been entirely my thing.  I got the idea looking at the twee.net list.  & it continues to aid & inspire me as I stumble through the letter M.  Which I'll be doing for some time now.  There are lots of bands/musicians whose name starts with the letter M!  In the indipop world, at least, for me.

Thank you, TweeNet!  If ever someone over there finds out I was doing this, I hope that you also find my gratitude!

Harvey

(Image from here.)

Houston is on my mind tonight.  I haven't been there in years but of course anytime a city with millions goes through the trauma it's experiencing now, you can't help but feel empathy with your fellow citizens, in my case on a national & state level.  My friends who live there are thankfully safe but many aren't, & I am weighing my options in seeing how I can help.

Texas Monthly has a great article listing how one can help in the state.  NPR does too.  Here in Fort Worth, relief efforts are underway, & that's where I am starting.  Things will get worse before they get better.  I hope the people & the city are resilient enough to handle the devastation.

The wife bemoaned the fact that both the state & the nation are filled with people who don't believe government can help in situations like this, although I read the head of FEMA saying they had "learned" from Katrina.  Let's hope so.  Meanwhile.  I think I am going to volunteer here in town.  It's almost the least I can do.

Meet My Pets (Again) # 3: Bolan

In between tonight's twin television treats of Twin Peaks & Game Of Thrones, I take a moment to talk about the second-oldest cat, & third-oldest animal in the house, Bolan.  I wrote a bit about him five years ago on the blog.  He went from being the goofiest & youngest to being a kind of patriarch - Beatrice, the oldest, has no interest in being in charge, & the other two cats seem to naturally submit to his noisy insistence.

Recently, he lost some weight, & the hair on his ears thinned, & we were like, what the fuck?  We imagined the worst, & in fact he tested positive for FIV - which is like cat HIV - but that was a dumbass false positive.  Fuck false positives.  An x-ray showed he had too much hair in his stomach, he couldn't digest or pass or throw it up.  That's right: this dumb cat was too busy grooming himself & his siblings, it made him sick & he lost weight because of it.  We gave him a gel - which he loves eating - to dissolve the hair in his belly, & he's returned to being a chubby cat - & even the hair on his ears has started to grow back.

As I write this, all four cats are in the same room, but he's the noisiest, the most insistent, & of course the most annoying.  He does groom his younger siblings, but the oldest, Beatrice, has never really taken a shine to him.  Maybe if we had kept the group to just him & her.  But we didn't.  & I think I'll talk about that in a future Sunday installment.

Self Help Radio 082317: Betty's Show

(A plethora of Bettys.  I got these pictures all over the place, thanks to Google Image Search.)

Wow, looking at those pictures above - that is, in order from left to right, top to bottom, Betty Ford, Bettye LaVette, Betty Davis, Betty Page, Betty Grable, Bette Davis, Betty Hutton, Betty Shabazz, Betty White, Betty Friedan, Betty Carter, & a Betty Self Help Radio Bear - it occurs to me that the name Betty is pretty old fashioned.  The youngest Betty I could think of was perhaps Betty Gilpin, who's in her thirties.  I do not have any friends named Betty - though I do have friends named Elizabeth, of which Betty is a diminutive - but kinda wish I did, since I made an entire radio show about Bettys.

& what a show it was!  There were so many Betty songs I didn't get to, but I promise the ones I did are the bestest of the bestest.  In addition, I spoke with CJ Buchanan, the president & founder of the Betty Cooper Fan Club; to David Fruchter, the final husband of the legendary Betty Crocker; & I got a call from two Bettys from outer space, hoping to take all the Bettys to a Betty colony & away from Earth.  It seems to me that the Betty demographic will skew a little older than perhaps a young colony would like.

Listen to the show - & tell any friend of yours named Betty to listen, too! - at Self Help Radio dot net.  Remind Betty that there's a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.  The show is in two parts, what's contained in the parts is listed below.

& a Happy Betty to you & yours!

(part one)

"Black Betty" Lead Belly _Lead Belly's Last Sessions, Vol. 1_
"Betty Lou" Long John Hunter _Ooh Wee Pretty Baby_
"A Letter From Betty" Bobby Vee _The Singles Collection_
"Friend Named Betty" The Submissives _Do You Really Love Me?_

"Iron Ore Betty" John Prine _Bruised Orange_
"Bette Davis Eyes" Jackie DeShannon _New Arrangement_
"Pretty Betty" Bobby Darin _Bobby Darin_
"C'mon Betty Home" The Kingston Trio _The Stewart Years_
"Betty Blue" Thomas Tantrum _Mad By Moonlight_

interview with Betty Cooper Fan Club founder & president CJ Buchanan

"Steady With Betty" A-Bones _Crash The Party_
"Cutie Betty" Astrobabys _Sweet Hot Drive_
"Betty Lou's Got A New Tattoo" The Creep _Fort Worth Teen Scene, Vol. 1_
"Betty Betty Bye Bye" Rabbitt _Rabbitt 1_
"Betty & Dupree" Brownie McGhee _Classic Folk Music (From Smithsonian Folkways)_

"Betty Betty Bang Bang" Drug Boyfriend _Betty Betty Bang Bang_
"Betty Page" Public Image Ltd. _What The World Needs Now..._

(part two)

"Have A Heart Betty (I'm Not Fireproof)" The Soft Boys _Invisible Hits_
"Just Like Betty Page" The Jazz Butcher _A Scandal In Bohemia_
"Betty Cutts" Hefner _Catfight_

surprise phone call from Betty & Betty Hill

"My Girl Friend Betty" Mary Swan _Midnight Cryin' Time: Teen Angst Classics From The Rock & Roll Era_
"Locked In A Room With Betty" P. Paul Fenech _Daddys Hammer_
"Betty Sue" Teenage Bubblegums _Bubblegum Dreams_
"Betty Wang" Hospitality _Hospitality_

interview with former husband of Betty Crocker, David Fruchter

"Betty Jane" Max Bailey _Rhythm & Blues Goes Rock & Roll, Vol. 1_
"The Black Betty" Boss Hog _Girl+_
"B.B. Betty" Bill Haley & His Comets _The Decca Years & More_
"Betty In Bermudas" The Dovells _Discotheque_
"Turning Into Betty" Lisa Germano _Slide_

"Betty Co-Ed" Rudy Vallee & His Connecticut Yankees _Heigh-Ho Everybody, This Is Rudy Vallee_
"Miss Betty's Blues" Joe Liggins & His Honeydrippers _The Shuffle Boogie King_
"Little Betty Falling Star" The Cascades _Rhythms Of Their Reign 1962-1966_

Whither Betty's Show?

(Yes, that's one Betty.  Image from here.)

Before you start wondering why there should be a radio show dedicated to people named Betty, maybe you should ask yourself, why shouldn't there be?  Why not radio shows for all people, all names?  I mean, for example, just to say, there's never been as far as I know a radio show dedicated to people named Gary, & despite that I'm not resentful that people named Betty get a radio show.  In fact, I have actively participated in making this show about & for people named Betty, as I did the same for people with names like Christine, Emily, Molly, Bill, George, & Sam.  & still I don't complain that there hasn't been a Gary show!

Your Betty envy makes me sad.  It would be in your best interest, it seems to me, to listen to a celebration of people named Betty on tonight's Self Help Radio.  It may be therapeutic.  It's on from 8-10pm central, 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington, & online at Lexington Community Radio's website.  For bonus points, invite a person named Betty along!  Seeing a Betty or two happy that there's a radio show about them might be the best thing that happens to you today!