Self Help Radio 112917: Magda's Birthday Show 2017

Yes, that's my wife.  She is a member of the Jazzercise cult.  The picture above is a couple of years old, taken on her birthday then.  Enjoy it, she may make me take it down later.

So, yeah, this week's show was my annual birthday show for her.  She gets a very long birthday week.  & also, since she was raised Catholic, she gets a Name Day as well.  I'm not doing a separate show for her for that, because I find that a little indulgent.  Also, there's no name day for Gary.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, I played a lot of birthday tunes for her.  None of which I've ever played on the show before.  Except I might have played another version of "The Unbirthday Song."  But not Rosemary Clooney's version!  In general only I am interested in the limitations I set for myself for my show.

The playlist for the show is below, including the silly interviews I did.  The show is of course now at Self Help Radio birthday central.  Pay attention to username/password info or no birthday cake!  Each part is a half hour long.  You might not think there were so many birthday songs & you would be wrong.

Also: happy birthday to you!

(part one)

"Birthday" Mental As Anything _Liar Liar Pants On Fire_
"Apple Gate" Godzuki _Your Future_
"Birthday" Safe Home _You Can't Undo What's Already Undid_

"Happy Birthday, Johnny" St. Vincent _Masseduction_
"Birthday" Mere Women _Big Skies_
"My Life By JR Green: My Special Birthday" The Firesign Theatre _Duke Of Madness Motors_
"The Birthday Democrats" Guided By Voices _How Do You Spell Heaven?_
"Birthday" Hazel English _Just Give In / Never Going Home_

interview with entrepreneur Lorenzo Schwab

"Happy Birthday Robo" Remington Super 60 _Indie Pop For Kids, Vol. 1_
"The Birthday" Willie Phoenix _Plastic Blues & Grooves_
"Mad Shelley's Letterbox" Robyn Hitchcock _Robyn Hitchcock_
"Birthday" Jana McCall _Slumber_
"Happy Birthday Wonder (Acholi)" Ennanga Vision _Ennanga Vision_

(part two)

a chat with my spiritual mentor the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Birthday Song" Dominic _Goodnight, Doggies_
"Tomorrow's Birthday" Alaska _These Sacred Floors_
"Birthday" Kitty & The Kowalskis _Chinese Democracy_
"Groan's" Snowball II _Flashes Of Quincy_
"Birthday" Andy Jones _Letters From Uncle Val_
"Barf Day" Diet Cig _Swear I’m Good At This_

conversation with anti-birthday activist David Fruchter

"Birthday" Bobby Donnie _Bobby Donnie Plays The Bobby Donnie Songs_
"Birthday" Getaway Cruiser _Getaway Cruiser_
"Birthday Morning" Fuzzystar _Telegraphing_
"Birthday" Radial Spangle _Ice Cream Headache_

"The Unbirthday Song" Rosemary Clooney _Memories Of You_
"Happy Birthday Fungus Face" Da Yoopers _Yoopy Do Wah_

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2017?

Mom's home! Hope she brought the cake!

In 2002, around the time of her birthday, my then-girlfriend Magda picked all the songs for an episode of Self Help Radio.  It was a lame birthday present for her, but I think she was happy.

In 2003, around the time of my then-girlfriend Magda's birthday, I didn't celebrate it at all on the radio.  I have no excuse for this, as I didn't have this blog then & don't have the energy to make something up at the moment.

In 2004, on the day of my then-girlfriend Magda's birthday, I made a radio show with nothing but songs about birthdays.  I thought I was pretty clever.  Also, I was glad I didn't play the obvious Beatles song, but only a weird German cover.

In 2005, around the time of my still then-girlfriend Magda's birthday, I seemed to have forgotten to celebrate it on the radio again.  I wouldn't start this blog until the next year, so I'm not sure what my thinking was.  Did I want to come up with a better idea than "birthday girl picks all the music" or "songs about birthdays" but couldn't?  I have no idea.

But since around the time of my girlfriend-who-would-become-my-wife-in-three-years Magda's birthday in 2006, I have celebrated her birthday on the radio with an entire show about birthdays.  There are of course a finite amount of songs about birthdays, & a much smaller subset of songs I like about birthdays, but I have managed to make twelve shows of songs about birthdays, without repeating any recordings (I have played covers of the same song, & a couple of remixes).

& I will continue with tonight's episode.  2017 gave us about a dozen great birthday tunes, & there's more I've mined from the past, & you'll hear them if you listen on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at Lexington Community Radio dot org from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central.  There will be silly interviews too.

Hey, even though it's technically a birthday show for my wife, the songs are about birthdays, anyone's birthdays really, so if you've had a birthday this year, or you will in the next month, this show's for you!  Happy birthday!

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2017: The Birthday Girl

Hey! Don't tell anyone, but I googled my wife today.

Now that sounds dirty but you know it just means I searched for her online.  & no, I didn't think I would find out something about her that I didn't know.  I just wanted to know what the internet said about her.

The first web page that comes up is her profile at her current place of employment, the University of North Texas Medical School.  I do love that picture, though.

The next two are "Rate Your Professors" pages rating her teaching skills.  They are unbearably positive, both at UK, where she taught in Kentucky, & at the University of Texas when she was a graduate student.  "She was a total spaz," one student review begins, & nothing has changed.

Ooo, but look at her Google scholar citations  She's serious & shit.  Thank the non-existent deity that she doesn't bring this work home!

You can find this page about her with Google but I promise, that is not a picture of her.  I've asked her, no one knows who that is, or why that picture is there.  "I haven't done anything about that," she says, uninterestedly.

Most of the pictures of her, actually, on Google image search are not in fact her.  For example, this is not her:

That's a fellow named Sam.  I know him.  I've seen him in the same room as my wife, so I know (or have reason not to suspect) that they are the same person.

Mostly I am disappointed there's not more about her online.  I need to do that, write more about her online.  I am toying with the idea of writing a blog post about her once or twice a week.  Maybe Google will find them?  I can fill them with images like this one:

Here she is in New Orleans with her old mentor/colleague Carl Terranova.  Seriously, I have dozens of these pics.  I can flood Google with them!

But first I need to get her permission.  I am not suicidal.

The Last Birthday Party

It's an illustration: a table with plastic forks & paper plates, some still holding half-eaten pieces of chocolate cake.  A candle has fallen to the floor.  There's a dog eating something, you can't see what, that the animal has gained by pulling the tablecloth down.  & there's shredded wrapping paper, & no more presents to be seen.

It's a promise.  When people are around, you drink too much, you don't notice how drunk you are & then you think you can drink yourself to the other side.  & you hate surprises.  & you hate people, if you're being honest with yourself.  Especially these people.  People you've even called friends.  They can barely see.

It's a moment of recognition.  After everyone left, you struggled to sweep up but you should've asked for help.  It was so kind of your children to come see you but you wish it weren't an obligation based on occasion.  It doesn't matter anymore.  You aren't getting any younger & soon enough you won't be getting any older.

It's a matter of forgetting.  Something someone might have celebrated sometime before, maybe before you were born, was just worn down by time, like the etched writing faded on a centuries-old tombstone.  You want to ask someone about it but nobody seems to know, or remember, or ultimately, to even care.

It's the last birthday party.  Because everything has to have its last, because, of course, nothing lasts.

The Trouble With My Knees

The problem is a low threshold of pain.

A threshold is, "the sill of a doorway," or, "the entrance to a house or building," or, "any place or point of entering or beginning."*

When a couple get married, traditionally, the male half of the male-female pair, & perhaps the stronger of the male-male & female-female pair, is supposed to carry the other over the threshold.  Many theories exist about this practice, but that isn't important for the purposes of this meditation.**

The question is this: can one be carried over the low threshold of pain?  What sort of marriage does one have, then, with one's body?

Which brings us to knees.  No one crosses the threshold on their knees, do they?  That would be a remarkable thing.  & taxing.  Perhaps if one is a prodigal child, as in the parable***.  Coming home, expecting to be punished for being wasteful, it might behoove one to adopt a begging posture.

Is much begging done on one's knees?  Or is that also for pleading?  Interestingly, one proposing marriage is traditionally supposed to go down on one knee to ask for the other's assent to marry.  Do note it's only one knee, so as not to be perceived as begging.  One knee is perhaps just asking.

Which brings us to my knees.  They have been feeling weird all day.  I am trying to remember a time when my knees ever felt weird.  I have fallen to my knees before - not merely as a dramatic gesture.  I have also been kicked in the knees before, which I remember as being quite unpleasant.

So what is wrong with my knees?  I did not ask the internet.  I am not asking you.  How would either of you know?

Ultimately, however, I am happy with my low threshold of pain, despite my knees recently carrying themselves over that threshold.  A high threshold for pain seems a dangerous thing, making one feel better when one is perhaps in need of medical assistance.

But I never said my knees hurt!  What could possibly be the point of this discussion?

The answer, alas, is on a kneed-to-know basis.

* According to dictionary.com.
** You can read some of them here, however.
*** Which you can read here, if you don't know it.

Self Help Radio 112217: Cosmic Radio

(Original image here.)

The show went cosmic this week.  Loosed of its terrestrial concerns, it was free to wander the cosmos, & it remembered to bring a snack, so it wouldn't get too hungry in-between stars.  There's a lot of space in-between the stars.  Like, I wish I had downloaded more podcasts to listen to, it took for-fuckin'-ever to get from one star to another.  & we only had two hours!

Still, there were plenty of cosmic vibrations, not a bit of cosmic radiation, lots of cosmic energy, & a smattering of cosmic misery.  You'll be able to do the cosmic slide like an expert cosmic dancer if you feel the cosmic force from the cosmic rays as you sail the cosmic sea.  When should experience the cosmic show?  Cosmic now, man.

Also, I talk to my spiritual advisor about cosmic matters, I speak to the "ambassador to psychedelics" David Cosmic Charlie Fruchter, & in outer space I stumble upon lost cosmic funk master Schleppy Wapps.  Also, there's plenty of cosmic tunes, of course.  You knew that.  Did you?

The show can be listened to anywhere in the galaxy at Self Help Radio dot net.  There's a username & a password, but it's no cosmic mystery: it's on the page there.  The show is in two parts, roughly an hour each.  What's in each part is below.

& please have a happy Thanksgiving!  I thank you too much for listening!

(part one)

"Cosmic Ballad" Perrey-Kingsley _Brain In A Box: The Science Fiction Collection_
"Cosmic Now" The Babe Rainbow _The Babe Rainbow_
"Cosmic Thing" The B-52's _Cosmic Thing_

"Cosmic Cars" Cybotron _Cosmic Cars_
"Cosmic Radiation" Clinic _Free Reign_
"Cosmic Sea" The Mystic Moods _What It Is! Funky Soul & Rare Grooves (1967-1977)_
"Cosmic Assassins" DJ Q-Bert _Wave Twisters_

interview with the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently

"Cosmic Supernatural" Kid Loco _A Grand Love Story_
"Cosmic Dancer (Work In Progress)" T. Rex _Electric Warrior_
"Cosmic Wheels" Donovan _Cosmic Wheels_
"Cosmik Debris" Frank Zappa _Apostrophe (')_

(part two)

interview with David "Cosmic Charlie" Fruchter

"Cosmic Charlie" The Grateful Dead _Aoxomoxoa_
"Cosmic Rays" Helium _The Magic City_
"Cosmic Misery" Martha _Courting Strong_
"Cosmic Flowers" Levitation Room _Ethos_
"Cosmic Vibrations" Foxygen _...And Star Power_

interview with funk musician Schleppy Wapps

"Cosmic Slop" Funkadelic _Cosmic Slop_
"Cosmic Energy" Kool & The Gang _Love & Understanding_
"Cosmic Glide" Captain Rock _Cosmic Glide_
"Cosmic Force" Dennis Brown _Cosmic Force_

"Cosmically Aligned" Widowspeak _All Yours_
"Cosmic Radio Bitches" Drug Boyfriend _Cosmic Radio Bitches_

Whither Cosmic Radio?

(Cosmic Steve Ditko, found here.)

This show is, quite simply, a chance for me to play songs with the word "cosmic" in the title or song. That's it.  Quite ordinary for Self Help Radio.  Nothing cosmic about it.

There's a part of me that wanted to lie & say it had something to do with the two recent "cosmic" comic book movies, Thor: Ragnarok & Justice League, both of which I saw in the theaters, but nope!  I started planning this show long before that.  Most of my shows gestate for a while until I think they're ready.

You wouldn't believe the folder on my computer with show ideas in them.  Some of them I'll never do.  Some of them have languished for years.  At least once I had the same idea independently over the course of a few months & didn't notice because the folders had slightly different names.  It's a mess.

One thing I did want to say is that my idea of "cosmic" is very much tied up with comic books, & as beautiful as outer space is, I think there's a part of me that is a little sad it's not as crowded & busy as Jack Kirby drew it or as trippy as Steve Ditko drew it.  Those are powerful images that take up a lot of my mind.

Anyway, there's a new Self Help Radio tonight.  Cosmic music, silly interviews, occasional interruptions by me to check in.  From 9-11pm eastern on 93.9fm WLXU in Lexington & online at lexingtoncommunityradio.org.

Begin your holiday weekend cosmically!

Preface To Cosmic Radio: The Power Cosmic

As a complete nerd when it comes to comics, especially ones I read when I was young, & into my twenties, & some which I still occasionally read now, when I can afford them, I have to say that the word "cosmic" immediately brings to mind the phrase "the power cosmic."

What does that mean?  According to the Marvel Database, "The Power Cosmic is the name of a vast source of limitless godly cosmic energy & power primarily wielded by the god-like cosmic entity Galactus. The Power Cosmic allows Galactus to employ the available absorbed cosmic energies within him to produce nearly any effect he desires, including size-alteration, the molecular restructuring & transmutation of matter, the teleportation of objects—even entire galaxies—across space & time, the creation of force fields, the creation of interdimensional portals, telepathy, telekinesis, & cosmic awareness on a universal scale. Galactus has even been shown as capable of creating sentient life, resurrecting the dead, manipulating mortal souls & remaking dead worlds—including their populations—in every detail."

The first appearance of "the power cosmic" was in Fantastic Four # 46, during Stan Lee & Jack Kirby's incredible run on that title, & the phrase is pure Stan Lee (even though Jack Kirby had the power cosmic to draw an incredibly powerful cosmos).  Why just say "cosmic power" when you can invert the words & make it sound pretentious?  That's the Stan Lee way!  Excelsior!

Here's an image from a Silver Surfer comic written by Lee & drawn by John Buscema:

It's from here.  Galactus gave the Surfer the power cosmic, see.  & the tree of evil... ever carries the seed... of its own destruction!

Man, I used to love that prose when I was a kid.  Anyway.  Where was I?

Oh yeah.  That's what I think about when I see the word "cosmic."  "The power cosmic."  When I was a kid, I would've loved a little of the power cosmic.  Nowadays, I'd probably just use to afford to buy more comics.  They're expensive!

You May Not Notice It But

There's going to be something slightly different about Self Help Radio this week.

If you want to try to guess what it is, send an email (after the show, of course) to gary at self help radio dot net & I'll give a prize.  If you guess correctly.  If you want a prize.

It's nothing major.  But it's something different.  & after years of same, isn't it time for something different?

Rufus

It's time to say goodbye to another friend.  My mother-in-law's dog Rufus (whose brother Rowlf I wrote about here) has died, probably at the age of seventeen or eighteen, which is a very great age for a basset hound in particular, & for dogs in general.

He was a very lucky dog.  He was found in northern California wandering in a field & taken to what we call "the pound."  Around the time of his discovery, my wife's mother had had a heart attack, & my wife had gone to see her, to help with her recovery.  My wife was missing her own dog, & wanted a dog to walk, & her mother suggested they visit the city pound, & there, my wife's mother found Rufus.

She learned his history.  She saw, according to a note on his cage, that he might be (would be?) put down (ie, killed) the very next day.  My wife's mother had a thing for bassets, & that affected her.  They moved on, they saw other dogs, but something about Rufus stayed with her.

& someone at the city pound noticed.  They took her back to Rufus, they let her go outside with him, they encouraged her to spend time with him.  I didn't know or meet Rufus when he was so young, but I bet he was a charmer.  I couldn't resist him in old age; how could my wife's mother resist him in his youth?

Rufus was adopted.  He found his "forever home."  What a good home it was!  He was the king.  Even when, later, he found out he had a brother from another mother named Rowlf, he was magnanimous in his power.  He established his walking schedule, he enjoyed his meals, he reveled in  his time with my wife's mother.

As for me, I only got to know Rufus late in his life.  When I meet dogs, I spend as much time with them as I do the humans around them.  (The dogs are usually the more interesting.)  I visited with him the past couple of years & enjoyed walking him - we both had somewhat easygoing, some would say slow, styles.  Earlier this years, in a visit to a nearby park, we took the time to enjoy the sun.  Here's Rufus:

He didn't know he had less than a year left on the planet (me either!).  He didn't know his constant companion would no longer be with him in a few weeks.  He was living in the moment, as all animals except humans do, enjoying a beautiful day, knowing his mother & sibling were near, happy to make a friend or be reacquainted with one, accepting of the vagaries of life.

I can still see his face before me, feel his basset jowls as I petted his face, see his big, sad eyes as I told him how much I liked him, hoping he might too like me.

The world is less than because he is not here, but it is more than because he existed.

Good bye, Rufus.  You were a good thing.  I am so so happy I knew you.

Self Help Radio 111517: Gas

(Original image on this page.)

Quick!  What's the most popular elemental gas?  Do you know?  Here's the ranking:

1) Oxygen (for obvious reasons)
2) Neon (it's just so bright)
3) Helium (because it makes you sound like a cartoon)
4) Krypton (because Superman lived there)
5) Chlorine (something about swimming pools)
6) Hydrogen ("it's the bomb," they say)
7) Nitrogen (the gardener's fave)
8) Xenon (gassy warrior princess)
9) Radon (confused often with a cousin, Ray-Don)
10) Fluorine (they put it in the water to make us communist!)

We didn't quite get to rank the gasses on this week's Self Help Radio because we were actually playing mostly songs about gasoline.  Kind of a bummer, really.  I wish more musicians would write more songs about gasses in general.  But.  I danced with the ones that brought me.  Which was mostly gasoline.

Maybe there's a gas song you'll enjoy on today's show.  Maybe it'll remind you of huffing gasoline & cause you to relapse.  I don't really know.  I just do the shows & hope there's time later for a nap.

The show is at the Self Help Radio website right now.  It's not made of gas so it won't float away or dissipate.  There will be a prompt for a username (it's SHR) & a password (it's selfhelp).  The show is in two mostly equal parts, about an hour long, & the songs & played in both parts - plus the interviews - are listed below.

(part one)

"Solid Liquid Gas" They Might Be Giants _Here Comes Science_
"Mr. Gas" The Parachute Men _Earth, Dogs, & Eggshells_
"Gas Converts To Star Energy" Drug Boyfriend _Gas Converts To Star Energy_

"At The Gas Station" Luise Pop _The Car The Ship The Train_
"Malibu Gas Station" Sonic Youth _The Eternal_
"Wind Up Workin' In A Gas Station" Frank Zappa _Zoot Allures_
"Gas Station Recipes" Maria Bamford _Ask Me About My New God!_
"Gas Station Women" Phil Ochs _Greatest Hits_

interview with "fossil fuel poet" David Fruchter

"Gasoline" The New Year _Newness Ends_
"Caffeine - Nicotine - & Gasoline" Bill Royal _The Big Itch, Vol. 5_
"Gaslite Street" Herman's Hermits _The Best Of Herman's Hermits: The 50th Anniversary Anthology_
"Beautiful Gas Mask" The Mountain Goats _All Eternals Deck_

first interview with chemist Allen Shariaty

"President Gas" The Psychedelic Furs _Forever Now_

(part two)

"Ethyl In My Gas Tank (No Gal In My Arms)" Jimmie Heap & The Melody Masters _Release Me_
"Out Of Gas" Floyd Robinson _Floyd Robinson_
"I Asked For Water (She Gave Me Gasoline)" Howlin' Wolf _Moanin' In The Moonlight_

second interview with chemist Allen Shariaty

"Gasman" The Gargoyles _Steamflapper_
"Choirboys Gas" Bad Dream Fancy Dress _Choirboys Gas_
"Your Love Is Like Petrol" Client _Command_
"Mr. Science: Gas Refrigeration" Bob & Ray _Classic Bob & Ray, Vol. 1: Selections From A Career, 1946-1976_
"Cat People (Putting Out Fire)" David Bowie _Let's Dance_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Life's A Gas" T. Rex _Electric Warrior_
"Life's A Gas" Joey Ramone _...Ya Know?_
"It's A Gas" The Wedding Present _It's A Gas_
"Gas" The Dentists _Behind The Door I Keep The Universe_

"It's A Gas (Part 1)" The James Brown Dancers _The Singles, Volume 4: 1966-1967_
"It's A Gas" Alfred E Neuman _It's A Gas_
"Gasoline" Shovels & Rope _O' Be Joyful_

Whither Gas?

(This image from this place.)

Really, dude?  A radio show about gas?  That's just gross.

Not necessarily!  You think I am talking about this kind of gas, but what if we're talking about this kind of gas or especially this kind of gas? Then we're not talking about stinky-stinkies (as my cats call them) or booms! fol-de-rol! (as my mother called them), but instead elemental substances & mixtures & also the petrol products that power our vehicles.  Why do you naturally think of the worst thing?

Of course, someone will mention farts at some point, so I have no real moral high ground.

It'll be a gassy show but I suppose you've known it all along.  It's on tonight from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at Lexington Community Radio dot org.

Your flatulence jokes are welcome.

Preface To Gas: Wind Up Working In A Gas Station

(I guess it kind of looked like this.  Image from here.)

It's true, I've worked at gas stations.  In high school.  & I believe the Seven-Eleven I worked at in Austin in 1989 had gas pumps.  But in high school, in 11th & 12th grade, I worked at a Mobil in Garland, Texas, one at the corner of Jupiter Road & Buckingham Road, & one a couple of miles down the street at Jupiter Road & Forest Lane.

My brother Ralph got me the job I believe in the summer or spring before 12th grade.  He was working at a place which had a Sikh man as manager - my first Sikh.  He called himself Rob, & was thoroughly Americanized.  Though he wore the turban, he had no accent, & he was quite a horn dog.

The summer before my senior year, I loved working there.  At some point, my brother Ralph no longer worked there.  I never figured out what happened.  There might have been some accusations of petty larceny.  Who knows?  I doubt he remembers - he had many jobs around that time.

The Rob transferred to the station at Forest & Jupiter, & I went with him.  & then, for some reason, he disappeared.  No one told me anything in those days.

Two things of note happened at that Mobil.  I listened to classic rock radio all the time - I remember I was working in the summer of 1985 when Live Aid was happening, & the American half was being broadcast on the radio (so I missed Elvis Costello, not knowing he just did one song).  One time - I
seem to remember this being on a Sunday morning, around Christmas time, possibly the only day I worked, there was a quiz on the radio about the John Lennon/Yoko Ono song "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)."  The question was about what Lennon & Ono said to each other at the beginning of the song - most everyone thinks they're saying happy Christmas to each other, but I knew they were saying it to their respective children.  I made customers wait while I answered - the first customer was understandably irked - but then, when I got the question right, she turned to the person behind her & said, "He won!"  I got a vinyl copy of the Shaved Fish best of collection, which I already had, but it was cool to win something on the radio.  It's why I love to give stuff away on the radio.

Not very long after that, after Rob was gone, the new manager, who was something of an oily type who liked to quiz me about history - I guess he wanted me to know he was smarter than him for some reason - asked me to train someone new.  & when I did, I thought I was doing the new guy a favor by showing him some shortcuts he'd inevitably use when he started working.  The new guy reported me to the new boss - apparently he was upset I wasn't doing things by the book or something - & he called me & fired me.  I knew I was being fired - he would never call me at home - & yet I hesitated quitting before he fired me.  Afterwards, of course, I told everyone I quit.

Some time later, Rob the former manager contacted me.  He had become a manager of an Exxon station down the street & offered me a job.  This was in the last few weeks of high school & I wasn't all that into it.  Plus, the shifts were like twelve hours long.  The Exxon station was larger, there was more opportunities for shoplifters & people running from their bills (this was way before pay-at-the-pump), & I don't think I worked there more than three weeks before I either quit or Rob quit & asked me to quit out of loyalty.  (Or the new manager didn't trust anyone Rob vouched for.)

Like I said, I'm sure the 7-11 I worked at a few years later had gas, but I can't remember it ever being a big deal or a problem.  It's still there, here's the place earlier this year:

Can you imagine, not only has nearly thirty years passed since I worked there, but there was a time when I, during my 11pm to 7am shift, would have to go out & change the trash bag by the pumps &, in the middle of the night, I would trying to wash the grease off the parking lot!  Also, I was robbed there three times, but that's a story for later.

The other two stations no longer exist.  The Mobil at Forest & Jupiter is now a Texaco, but it does look like they tore down the original Mobil building to make their newer, Texaco-ier one:

The Mobil at Buckingham & Jupiter is gone, & has been gone a long time.  It has suffered a worse fate than replacement: it's now a fucking bank!

All images from Google Maps.

Tumblr Blog I Like # 2

Do you like birds?  If so, maybe you also like pictures of birds?  What about absurd birds & their other woodland friends?  If so, you might enjoy False Knees.  I do.

Here's a sample:

That is certainly a Tumblr blog I like!

Back Again, There There

Where have I been? Was it a secret? Can I tell you that I'm a little paranoid so I often don't say where I am going because I imagine someone might use that information to break into my house & steal one of my cats. Not all of my cats. Probably just one.

Anyway, that's one of the reasons I don't usually announce where I am going in places that people might read like a blog or a supermarket (well, I know that's not a place that people read things like verbal announcements but it does remind me I do sometimes tell people in the soda aisle all about my plans & that usually ends with me being escorted out by a low-paid security guard who's just mad I've interrupted his "standing outside smoking" time), & it's also one of the reasons I don't do that "check in" thing people do on Facebook.  Again, one of these days I'm going to come home & find some ne'er-do-well has made off with one of my cats & I'll only have myself to blame.

What was I talking about?  I can't remember & I'm too lazy to read what I've already written, but I did want to say I was in Portland for the past few days & enjoyed it quite a bit despite the fact that I never once actually saw the sun any of those days plus it pretty much rained the entire time.  I wish I had some great stories about Portland but mainly it seems we drove around & ate a lot of great vegan food.  So much vegan food.  People often make jokes about overweight vegans - Patton Oswalt has one in his new special on Netflix - but I think there's something to be said about vegans being thought of as scrawny because there hasn't been a lot of great vegan restaurants & vegan options in the world.  Portland is correcting that.  Maybe overcorrecting.  I mean, there's a vegan cheese shop in Portland.  & it's fucking great.

Meanwhile.  Back to Self Help Radio.  A show this week about gas.  That's not a secret.

Whither A Week Without Self Help Radio?

(Image from here.)

There will be no new Self Help Radio this week.  But I do believe there will be an old episode of the show (probably a repeat of last week's) so the graphic above is misleading.  The show will not be off the air & of course the radio station WLXU will be on the air.  I am just terrible at finding appropriate graphics for these announcements.

What do you do if you don't want to listen to a repeat of Self Help Radio?  (Either tonight's show or the dozens on the archive page.)  I dunno.

Maybe read a book?

Or binge watch something on a streaming service?  (I am currently enjoying the show Mindhunter.)

Play with your pets?  Like, really play with them.  Wear them out.  Convince them you're more cat/dog/guinea pig/fish than human.

Make something with clay?  Or papier-mâché?

Listen to something new someone has recommended to you despite the fact that you think there's no good music anymore & you're going to end up listening to something you've heard a million times before?

Take a walk (weather permitting)?  Take a drive (but be safe)?

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have fun.  The show will be back next week at this time.  That's a promise, though I know it felt like a threat.  & promises are made to be kept.  No one keeps a threat.  No one says, "I made a threat & I'm gonna keep it."  That's just weird.

Boy this went on longer than I thought it would.

Preface To No Show This Week: Should I Say Something About Nothing?

Nope, there's no new Self Help Radio this week.  Whatever will you do?  I mean, besides not listen like you normally do.

Hey!  Didya know?  There's a whole lot of old shows archives for you to listen to!  If you're so inclined.  Or you can wait until next week, when there'll be a brand new show.  About gas.

Here's a show that isn't archived: ten years ago, Self Help Radio had songs & talk about pies.  So maybe pretend it is ten years ago, & tomorrow you may be hearing a show about pies.  In that case, reading this will make a lot more sense.

Tumblr Blog I Like # 1

Although I have liked other Tumblr blogs before, especially ones that are basically internet comic strips*, I haven't liked them in a numbered fashion, & so I begin an irregular series where I occasionally talk about Tumblr blogs I like.

(Previous ones do include Poorly Drawn Lines & Jake Likes Onions, just in case you missed those.)

Today I share with you Web Comic Name:

That hits a little too close to home.

The blog is here for you to enjoy.

* Why are internet comic strips funnier these days than the ones in the newspapers?

A Week Without Self Help Radio

(What an absurd headline.  Also, it's out of context.  Context here.)

This week there will not be a new episode of Self Help Radio.  Please, stifle your cheers of applause & sighs of relief.  I have done no calculations but I believe that, not counting automation errors, a new episode of Self Help Radio has aired every week since it premiered on WLXU, which would have been well over a year ago.

Wait, I can hear you say, automation?  Yes, you knew the show was pre-recorded (usually the day before it airs) & put on the automation to be broadcast on Wednesday nights.  Well, I can hear you rebut, then what's the problem?  Why not put it together earlier than usual so you can still have a show this week?

But.  But.  I want a vacation!

Is that all right?

The blog will remain active because I can't help myself but otherwise you'll have to "suffer" through a week without a new Self Help Radio.

Maybe, I dunno, listen to an old favorite?  Or even hate-listen to a show you really, really regret listening to?

Self Help Radio 171101: One Day

(Original image found here.)

Contrary to popular anxiety, this show is not actually "one day of Self Help Radio."  Nor is it technically "one day with Self Help Radio" - the show is merely two hours long.  It's simply a collection of songs which may express either the hope or fear that something may happen one day in the future or are simply descriptions of events that transpire during the course of a single day.  Nothing as awful as twenty-four hours of the show!

Is it an interesting idea for a radio show?  You be the judge of that.  Certainly there are many marvelous songs, as detailed below.  As well, there are discussions about one-day enlightenment, & things one can do in one day, & even a panel of talking heads discussing what they hope for one day.  There are elements here that may please the radio show listener, but also elements that may irk.  Who's to say?  You are to say!

It is at this point I must simply suggest you listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website.  You will be asked for a username & a password.  The username is SHR.  The password is selfhelp.  The show is two hours long, split into two parts.  What's in the two parts is listed below.

Enjoy!

(part one)

"One Day" Tages _Contrast_
"One Day" Tabby Thomas _Southern Funkin': Louisiana Funk & Soul 1967-1970_
"One Day" Baaba Maal _The Traveller_

"One Day" The Church _Seance_
"One Day (Peel Session)" The June Brides _Every Conversation: The Story Of The June Brides & Phil Wilson_
"One Day" Cannanes _Witchetty Pole_
"One Day" Pearly Gatecrashers _Spectacular_
"One Day" Postal Blue _Of Love & Other Affections_

interview with the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"One Day At A Time" Polly Cutter _Television's Greatest Hits: 70s & 80s_
"One Day At A Time" John Lennon _The John Lennon Anthology_
"One Day At A Time" Porter Wagoner & Dolly Parton _Once More_
"We Got To Meet Death One Day (Take 1)" Blind Willie McTell _Complete Recorded Works, Vol. 3 (1933-35)_

"One Fine Day" The Chiffons _The Best Of The Girl Groups, Vol. 1_
"One Fine Day" Bazooka Cain _Here Come The Days Of Bazooka Cain_

(part two)

"One Fine Day" Shel Naylor _The Freakbeat Scene_
"One More Day" The Humbugs _On The Up Side_
"One More Day" Descendents _Cool To Be You_

panel discussion

"One Small Day" Ultravox _Lament_
"One Better Day" Madness _Total Madness_
"He's Gonna Break Your Heart One Day" The School _Wasting Away & Wondering_
"What A Change One Day Can Make" The Louvin Brothers _Encore_

interview with writer Allen Shariaty

"One September Day" Nina Simone _Four Women: The Nina Simone Philips Recordings_
"One Day Forever" Those Dancing Days _Daydreams & Nightmares_
"One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell" Morrissey _Years Of Refusal_
"One Day We Say" Tania & Juan _One Day We Say_

"Heroes" David Bowie _"Heroes"_

Whither One Day?

(Image from here.)

Now that all the Halloween stuff is over - did you notice there's a new Self Help Radio this week?  That I haven't been talking about at all?  Because it was Halloween week?  Well, there is!

When I started this particular recurring segment of the blog, "Whither [the week's theme]?", I envisioned a deep discussion about what that week's particular topic was.  Very quickly I realized that sometimes the reason for a show is dumb & banal.  In fact, there are probably only a small range of reasons, from someone suggesting the theme to something topical related to the date (as the next month will show - I'll be doing my favorites of the year & my Christmas show in December).

A very common reason for the show is just that I might be listening to a lot of songs & wow, I realize that there are similarities.  This happened for the "one day" show.  It's a coincidence, of course - I'm sure there are always similarities & I just never notice them.  But when I do notice them, I have to decide whether it'd made a good show or not.  "One Day" did that one day a few months ago.  & now it's a radio show.

Not terribly interesting, I know, but I kinda like these "Whither...?" posts.  One day maybe I'll have a fascinating story, possibly related to an adventure, where something extraordinary birthed a radio program.  For now, though, the reasons are mostly boring.

It might still be a good show though!  You can listen tonight from 9-11pm eastern on 93.9 fm WLXU in Lexington & online at Lexington Community Radio's website.  Lots of music (including a song written for the show!), silly interviews, & me struggling to say something about the theme.  In other words: the regular thing.

Halloween Week 2017: Werewolves!

(Original image here.)

Here's an oddity: a recording from the show's brief sojourn in West Virginia.  I was at WMUL, the student radio station in Huntington, from around August 2009 till June 2010.  Soon we would decamp to Kentucky, & WRFL.  But I continued my Halloween tradition with one of the hardest shows I've ever done.  There are not a lot of werewolf songs, my friend.

It turns out, actually, that there are lots of werewolf songs in the heavy metal idiom.  This is true!  I listened to more metal around that time than before or since.  & since it's not a genre I like, none of the truly metal songs made the cut.  But there's probably a great metal werewolf Halloween show out there.

Should you decide to listen, pay attention to the cool spots that WMUL made for itself.  Those spots were already years old when I got there - there was no real production department to speak of.  & those spots were not many, so after a few months, I had them all memorized.

Anyway, the show is now available & that complete all of Self Help Radio's Halloween shows from 2005 on, all available for your Halloween night listening - or beyond.  They're collected on the Self Help Radio Halloween page, with the werewolf show on top, & the password information above that.  The songs I played in both parts of the show are below.

Happy Halloween!

(part one)

"Were-Wolf" Kact-Ties _Altar Of Dreams: Classic East Coast Doo Wop & Girl Groups_
"Were Wolf" Carl Bonafede _Monster Bop_
"Wolfbane" Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers _The Original Monster Mash_
"Tiptoe Thru The Wolfbane" Robbie The Werewolf _At The Waleback_

"Werewolf" Michael Hurley _Armchair Boogie_
"Werewolves" Deadman _Our Eternal Ghosts_
"Werewolf" Jad & David Fair _26 Monster Songs For Children A - Z_
"Werewolf" Five Man Electrical Band _Absolutely Right: The Best Of Five Man Electrical Band_

"Werewolf" The Rockin' Barracudas _Cool Town Bop_
"Werewolf" Southern Culture On The Skids _Halloween Hootenanny_

(part two)

"I'm The Wolfman" Fuzztones _Monster A-Go-Go_
"I Was A Teenage Werewolf" Cramps _Songs The Lord Taught Us_
"She Said" Jon Spencer Blues Explosion _Plastic Fang_

"We Bite" Misfits _Earth A.D._
"My Tribute To The Misfits (aka: Your Sister Is A Werewolf Tonight)" Sicko _You Are Not The Boss Of Me!_
"Werewolf From Outer Space" The Neanderthals _The Latest Menace To The Human Race_
"Teenage Werewolf" Barbarellas _Queen Of The Galaxy_
"She's A Werewolf" Mike Hoffman _Monster University_

"The Howl Of The Werewolf (Dickenbock Edit)" Ah Cama Sotz _Music For Dark Nights & Full Moons_
"Animal In The Mirror" Luxuria _Beast Box_

Halloween Week 2017: Witches!

(Original image here.)

Welcome to my 2008 Halloween show!  This show never aired.  It didn't air because I skipped the week, or because I got sick, or because of technical issues.  It didn't air because I wasn't at a radio station at the time.

In the spring of 2008, my wife got offered a post-doc in North Carolina, at Duke.  For complicated reasons, she decided not to take it.  I had left KOOP in anticipation of leaving Austin, & when she didn't take the job, I simply decided not to go back.  Why?  Well, one is, that I couldn't have just resumed the show if I decided to go back (see below).  The other is that I knew my wife would be looking for jobs elsewhere, & we probably wouldn't stay in Austin.  That turned out to be true - in a year, we would be gone.

But did I let that stop Self Help Radio?  Nope!  For one, I had continued with the show into the summer despite leaving KOOP.  I left the station at the end of the "season" (at the time, KOOP has six-month "seasons" coinciding with the station's training schedule) because I didn't want to leave in the middle of the summer & punch an unexpected hole in the schedule.  & anyway, I intended to keep doing the show elsewhere (which of course I have done).  Why let a little thing like not being on the radio stop a radio show called Self Help Radio?

So you may be the first person to actually listen to this show!  It is now of course on the Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Pay attention to password info.  The show is around ninety minutes long, give or take, & it's in two parts, & what's in those parts is below.

(part one)

"Witches & Wizards" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Three Witches" Sonic World Orchestra _Shakespeare & Love_

"Witches! Witches! Rest Now In The Fire" Get Well Soon _Rest Now, Weary Head! You Will Get Well Soon_

"Seduce Your Lover (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Witch" Sonics _Nuggets: Original Artyfacts From The First Psychedelic Era, Vol. 4_

"The Wicked Old Witch" The Bells Of Rhymny _USA Garage Greats 1965-1967 - I Want My Woman_

"Witch Girl" Mystrys _Before Birdmen Flew - Australian Beat, R&B & Punk 1965-1967_

"Mad Witch" Dave Gardner _Horror Hop_

"Swamp Witch" Deadbolt _Haight Street Hippie Massacre_

"Big Black Witchcraft Rock" Cramps _Fiends Of Dope Island_

"Love Spell (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"I Put A Spell On You" Screamin' Jay Hawkins _Voodoo Jive: The Best Of Screamin' Jay Hawkins_

"Witchcraft (For Your Love)" Temptations _Emperors Of Soul_

"Castin' My Spell" Johnny Otis _The Capitol Years_

"Witchcraft" Elvis Presley _Today, Tomorrow, & Forever_

(part two)

"My Girlfriend Is A Witch" Cattanooga Cats _Cattanooga Cats_

"Astral Sex (Seduction Spells From Around The World)" Louise Huebner _Seduction Through Witchcraft_

"The Sad Witch" Hefner _Breaking God's Heart_

"She's Got A New Spell" Billy Bragg _Workers Playtime_

"Season Of The Witch" Donovan _The Very Best Of Donovan_

"Soft Power" Ladytron _Witching Hour_

"Zap The World" Wild, Hayes & Raye _H R Punfnstuf TV & Movie Soundtrack_

"Witches Brew" Janie Jones _We're In Love With The World Of Janie Jones_

"Old Witch, Old Witch" Burl Ives _A Twinkle In Your Eye_

"Free Guitar Lessons For Animals" Flossie & The Unicorns _L.M.N.O.P._

"Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead" Klaus Nomi _Simple Man_

Halloween Week 2017: Zombies!

(Original image here.)

This is the last Halloween show I did on KOOP.  It's also one of my favorites - music-wise, that is.  I love zombies & I love songs about zombies*.  It's also fun because around the time I did this show, I discovered that a pair of kids from KVRX were doing a similar, theme-based show, & I invited them up to hang out.  & they were great!

If you're wondering if I knew that this would be the last Self Help Radio Halloween show on KOOP - I don't know.  I don't think so.  My wife had gotten her PhD that summer & was looking for a job, but she wouldn't find one until 2009 - but I left KOOP before that, for reasons I might explain tomorrow or I might not, nyah.

Like the others, this show is on the Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's ninety minutes long, the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.

Enjoy!  Try not to be too frightened!

(part one)

"Zombie" CJ Buchanan _Brains!_
"The Living Dead" Mrhamburger _Sounds For The Active Dead_
"I Walked With A Zombie" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"Do The Zombie" Symbols _Laff Blasts From The Past_

"If You Shoot The Head You Kill The Ghoul" Jeffrey Lewis _It's The Ones Who've Cracked That The Light Shines Through_
"Zombie Song" Sudden Infant Dance Syndrome _2 Many Babes_
"Zombie Jamboree (Live)" Kingston Trio _The Guard Years Vol. 7_
"Love Zombies" Monochrome Set _Volume, Contrast, Brilliance...: Sessions & Singles, Volume 1_
"Zombies, Unite!" Unbearables _Just One Bite_

"Re: Your Brains" Jonathan Coulton _Thing A Week Two_
"Zombie Medley" Patton Oswalt _Feelin' Kinda Patton_

(part two)

"George Romero" Sprites _Modern Gameplay_
"Zombie Song" Besties _Singer_
"Astro Zombies" Doleful Lions _Song Cyclops, Vol. 2_

"She's A Zombie" Fall-Outs _Zombie 7"_
"Zombie Hop" Zombina & The Skeletones _Monsters On 45_
"Zombie Dance" Cramps _Songs The Lord Taught Us_
"My Girl Wants To Be A Zombie" Briefs _Steal Yer Heart_
"Pro-Zombie" Die ¨A;rzte _Ger¨usch_

"Zombie" gfire _Zombie_
"Waiting For The Zombies" Square Root Of Margaret _Teragram Photeur_

* I liked this show so much I kinda re-did it later (in 2010) as a sub show for WRFL.  Which you can listen to here, if you don't want to listen to the 2007 version.  It has more zombie songs, though!

Halloween Week 2017: Monsters!

(Original image here.)

Halloween week continues with another oldie but moldy Halloween show, this one from way back in 2006, a show about monsters.  (I don't think I could've come up with an entire show about Frankenstein, so this was my work-around.)  I will mention that, should you choose to listen, that the tape deck at the radio station was not the finest around.  It kind of makes my voice a bit higher than it actually is (although I know I can be a little goofy & excited on the air).  Or maybe I really sounded like that then?  I dunno, I barely listened to the first airbreak, although it's fun to hear Erin Hannan on the show, she was my apprentice in those distant days.  We enjoyed chatting on the air I think.

The show is now on the brand new Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's ninety minutes long, the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.  (I think I left out a song, probably because I forgot to turn the cassette tape over.  Oops!)  (It's really not one of my best shows.)

As I noticed, the page has all my recent Halloween shows, back to 2010 - & tomorrow I guess I'll be putting up the show from 2007?  Maybe?

Warning!  Thar be monsters here!

(part one)

"Monsters!" CJ Buchanan from _Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!_
"Jaws Theme" Allan Parker from _Halloween Big Screen Thrillers_
"Monster" The Automatic from _Not Accepted Anywhere_
"The Attack Of The Giant Ants" Blondie from _Blondie_
"El Monstruo" Los Shains from _Teenage Shutdown Vol. 1: Jump, Jive & Harmonize_

"Monster Mash" Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band from _Cornology_
"King Kong" Big T. Tyler from _Loud Fast & Out Of Control_
"Eaten By The Monster Of Love" Sparks from _Angst In My Pants_
"Scary Monsters & Super Creeps" David Bowie from _Scary Monsters & Super Creeps_

(part two)

"She Loves Monsters" Bartlebees from _Urban Folk Legends_
"Monsters" Boy Least Likely To from _The Best Party Ever_
"New Monster Avenue" Mountain Goats from _Get Lonely_
"Monster" Ramonalisas from _Monster_

"Blob" Five Blobs from _They Came From Outer Space: The Alien Songbook_
"Bride Of Frankenstein" Toy Love from _Toy Love_
"Le Monster" My Favorite from _The Happiest Days Of Our Lives_
"The Monster (Oh Qu'il Est Vilain)" Stereo Total from _Fields & Streams_

"Monster Island" Dickies from _Second Coming_
"Bigfoot" Legendary Jim Ruiz Group from _Sniff_

Halloween Week 2017: Vampires!

(Original image here.)

Hey!  As a trick &/or a treat, I've dug up a very old show - a Self Help Radio from 2005 (so, twelve years ago) - a Halloween episode about vampires, which I have placed on a brand new Halloween page: Halloween on Self Help Radio dot net!

Now, I haven't listened to this show in many years - if ever.  I remember gathering the songs - it was fun to find so many songs about vampires - but I have no memory of the show, & I barely made it through the first airbreak, in which I am pretty low energy.  But it might be fun to hear an old episode of Self Help Radio & especially to have a lot of (let's face it) campy tunes for Halloween.

Especially because there's a song called "Dracula Gary."  That's a treat.

Again, the show is on the new Halloween on Self Help Radio page.  Same rules apply for password & stuff.  It's two hours long, so the show is in two parts, & what's in each part is below.

& yeah, the page has all my recent Halloween shows, back to 2010 - & in the next few days I'll try to put up all my old Halloween shows from 2005 on.  (Pre-2005 shows are on cassette & not digitized, I'm sorry.)

I hope you enjoy.

(part one)

"The Vampire Sleeps" Boris Karloff _Tales Of The Frightened Vol.II_
"Night Of The Vampire" Moontrekkers _It's Hard To Believe: The Amazing World Of Joe Meek_
"In The Vampire's Lair" Al Zanino _The Al Stan Masters: Best Of Reading's Oldies_
"Transylvania Twist" Bobby 'Boris' Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers _The Original Monster Mash_
"Bela Be Good" Ghouls _Dracula's Deuce_

"Vampire's Ball" Mann Drake _Vampire's Ball_
"Dracula's Castle" Mike Sarne _Come Outside With Mike Sarne: The Definitive Collection Singles_
"Dinner With Drac" Zacherle _Dead Man's Ball_
"The Vampire" Archie King _Doo Wop Halloween_
"I Want To Bite Your Hand" Gene Moss _Dracula's Greatest Hits_
"Dracula's Deuce" Freddy Fortune & The 4 Gone Conclusions _Monster Party 2000_

"Vampira" Bobby Bare _Horror Hop_
"Night Of The Vampire" Roky Erickson & The Aliens _The Evil One_
"Dracula Gary" Centimeters _The Centimeters Present The Facts Of Destiny_
"My Daddy Is A Vampire" Meteors _Rockabilly Psychosis & The Garage Disease_

(part two)

"Here Come The Vampires" Bunnygrunt _Jen-Fi_
"I Bleed" Pixies _Doolittle_
"Bela Lugosi's Dead" Bauhaus _The Singles_

"Laugh In A Grave" MrHamburger _Sounds For The Active Dead_
"Release The Bats" Birthday Party _The John Peel Sessions_
"I'm A Vampire" Future Bible Heroes _Eternal Youth_
"Dracula" Gorillaz _G-Sides_
"Vampire" Devon Irons _Arkology Vol. 1: Dub Organizer_

"Vampire Girl" Jonathan Richman _You Must Ask The Heart_
"Baby Vampire Made Me" Helium _Pirate Prude_

Self Help Radio 102517: Halloween 2017 - Black Cats!

(Original image by Ryan Conner, found here.)

Halloween is not even here & I've already scared my own pants off.  Black cats!  What was I thinking?  Sure, I live with one, but last night I could've sworn that I glanced out the window & saw a sea of yellow eyes!  If you never hear from me again after today, you may find me in the nearest litter box.  Evil fiends!

In addition to many songs that apparently have the power to summon the most devilish of cats, this Halloween show featured a panel discussion about the reputation of black cats, a conversation with a warlock, Allen Shariaty, who reveals secrets of the black cat, & a discussion with my spiritual mentor, the Rev. Dr. Howard Gently, about spiritual traditions involving the black cat.  & if that wasn't too much, Lexington singer/songwriter Jenny Adkins wrote a song just for the show!  Unlike most Self Help Radio episodes, this one appears to be more treat than trick!

You can listen to the show now at the Self Help Radio website.  To do so, you'll need a password & a username - those are available on the page.  The show is two hours long, divided into two hour-long files.  What's in those files (including the interviews) is below.

This show is not for the faint of heart!  Listen if you dare!

(part one)

"Never Kick A Black Cat" Boris Karloff _Tales Of The Frightened, Vol 2_
"Black Cat" Skinned Teen _Bazooka Smooth!_
"Black Cat (Cross My Path Today)" Lonnie Donegan _The Singles Anthology 1955-1967_

"Black Cat (I Don't Wanna Be Unlucky No More)" Jenny Adkins _Unlucky Charms_
"Black Cat Hoot Owl Blues" Ma Rainey _The Rise & Fall Of Paramount Records, Vol. 2 (1928-1932)_
"The Black Cat (Excerpt 1)" Diamanda Galás _Closed On Account Of Rabies: Tales Of Edgar Allan Poe_
"Black Cat" Tommy Collins _Black Cat Gonna Shake This Shack Tonight_
"Catblack (The Wizard's Hat)" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_

interview with warlock Allen Shariaty

"Black Cat Moan" Clara Smith _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Vol. 5 (1927-1929)_
"Old Black Cat" Ian Anderson _Rupi's Dance_
"Black Cat" Reverend & The Makers _Death Of A King_
"Black Cat Boogie" The Black Crabs _13 Times_

"Black Cat" Broadcast _Tender Buttons_
"The Black Cat" UK Decay _The Black 45 EP_

(part two)

"Black Cat Blues" The Beau Gentry _If You're Ready! The Best Of Dunwich Records, Vol. 2_
"Black Cat Blues" John Lee Hooker _Graveyard Blues_
"Black Cat" Ohio Players _Ecstasy_

panel discussion about black cats

"Black Cat" Willie Lane _Rural Blues, Vol. 1 1934-1956_
"Black Cat" David Ceredig-Evans & Rebecca Wright _KidsSongs_
"The Black Cat (Excerpt 2)" Diamanda Galás _Closed On Account Of Rabies: Tales Of Edgar Allan Poe_
"Thirteen Black Cats" Nan Wynn _Thirteen Black Cats_
"Black Cat" Ziggy Marley _Love Is My Religion_

interview with spiritual mentor Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Mean Black Cat Blues" Charley Patton _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Vol. 1 (14 June 1929 To Late November/Early December 1929)_
"Old Black Cat Blues (Jinx Blues)" Kokomo Arnold _Vol. 1 : Bad Luck Blues 1934-1938_
"Black Cat Blues (Take 2)" Memphis Minnie _Queen Of The Country Blues: All the Published Sides 1929-37_
"I Ain't Superstitious" Willie Dixon _I Am The Blues_

"Black Cat" Psychic TV _Trip Reset_

Whither Black Cats (Self Help Radio Halloween 2017)?

(Image from here - it's an interesting article, too.)

Every year Self Help Radio celebrates the spookiest of holidays (well, after Easter) with a special episode focusing on some creepy aspect of the event.  We've had shows about ghosts & vampires, about zombies & werewolves, about witches & mummies & monsters.  Scary places weren't neglected, either - there have been shows about haunted houses, graveyards, even hell.  Some terrifying concepts, too, have come under the show's scrutiny: nightmares & death have frightened a radio listener before.  (Let's not talk about the show about clowns, okay?)

This year, we will hear songs & discussion about the domesticated pet from hell, the black cat.  Oh sure, they're cute, they're sweet, they're cuddly & friendly, but what if they're really witches in disguise?  What if they're like Satan's spy cameras?  What if at night they're slowly sucking your soul out of your body & giving you toxoplasmosis instead?  These are all things that, while probably not possible, might freak you out if you're reading this while high.  Good lord, why are you reading this blog while high?  There are so many other cool things you could be doing!

Come join us tonight as we expose the evil black cat for the devilspawn it is!  Self Help Radio's spooky Halloween show is on from 9-11pm eastern, 8-10pm central, on 93.9 fm WLXU in haunted Lexington, & online at Lexington Community Radio dot org, which is probably possessed by the souls of deejays long forgotten.

& remember - if Self Help Radio crosses your path, it's bad luck all the rest of the week!

Preface To Halloween 2017 - Black Cats: Cats Are Just Too Fucking Cool

Oh yeah, I'm bad ass.

That image above is from an article I think I'll read from tomorrow night with the headline Cats Domesticated Themselves, DNA Evidence Shows.

Whoa.

The truth is, I was a cat person before I was a dog person, & the reason is that they're cool as fuck.  They love you when & if they're in the mood.  The rest of the time they're doing their own thing.

So tomorrow I'm going to be talking smack about black cats, about how they're bad luck, they work with witches & devils, etc.  But all the while I'll be secretly envying them.

Because while most of us are as emotionally sloppy as dogs, precious few of us can be as cosmically cool as a cat.  That's why we vilify them!

Hope they can forgive me!

My Black Cat

The show this week is a Halloween show, a show about black cats.  My mother believes that black cats are bad omens, & more than once in our childhood did she make us go a different direction because a black cat crossed her path.  This is true.

She's very old now, & forgetful, & she was talking one day about how scared she was of black cats, & she asked me, "Do you think it's bad luck for a black cat to cross your path?"

My reply was, "If so, I'm the unluckiest person alive, because a black cat crosses my path literally all day long when I am at home."

The truth is, I am lucky to have a black cat at home.  I've talked about him over & over, but I thought, in honor of today's show, I'd share a few more pictures of my wonderful black cat.

His name is Bolan.  Here he is as a kitten, over ten years ago, sleeping with Ringo:

Here he is as a kitten with Winston, whom he is a little bit bigger than now:

Here he is with his brother George, & if you met him, you'd realize he was raised by dogs:

Here he is with the mother who wanted him, whom he loves very much:

He is a rather large cat:

& sometimes he has trouble relaxing, his life is so stressful:

So we're lucky that, a couple of years after we adopted him, we rescued the love of his life, Bronte:

So, if you're scared of black cats, this week's show might be terrifying for you.  But at our house, Bolan will be the most brazen of cats, & will gladly come to meet you if you come over.  He might also eat your hair.  It's a thing.  We can't figure it out.

Dream Vacation

This week's show is about black cats, who are vilified as bad omens & unlucky - & sometimes downright evil - among the superstitious, but I own a black cat & he's sweet as can be.

I've been on the lookout for great black cat stories & today I stumbled onto this one (from which the above picture is taken):

Adventurous Man Quits His Job to Travel Australia in a Campervan With a Beautiful Black Cat By His Side

My black cat Bolan is not fond of being in moving vehicles but I wouldn't mind traveling the country with my animals.  It's very true, life is better with black cats around!