But there aren't. Am I no longer a mystery to you? Why don't you write me some email? I will respond in public like a minor celebrity!
Even better, why don't you take this survey about programming on KOOP? Make sure you say Self Help Radio is your favorite show. But otherwise, be honest about what you think - & you could win neat stuff too!
Today's "Song Of The Day" is heavily influenced by My Bloody Valentine & the band came into existence during their heyday, but the Swirlies have charms all their own. This song is a noisy pop gem from their record Blonder Tongue Audio Baton & is the wonderful song Pancake in honor of the lunch I had today. Mmmm. It's a delicious song, but its shelflife is two weeks - it won't be here after March 8, 2007.
Back to my indiepop list... I've removed British Sea Power - too late-period indie/postpunk - but I may add the truly postpunk stylings of Brian Brian... Let me listen to that again...
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Whither Indiepop A To Z # 6?
This is a true story. I went to Germany in 1992 & for some reason I only took four or five mix tapes with me. As if, somehow, five times ninety minutes would last during the plane ride. I was a dork. The batteries in my Walkman lasted longer than those tapes. Anyway, I got very familiar with them & even today, if I happen to hear a song from those tapes, I will expect to hear the next song to play - even if I am listening to the original album the song is on. Those songs remind me of getting lost in Frankfurt, trying to ask for directions, staring at buildings that seemed to me older than time.
The point of this is that, on those five tapes, several songs recurred. I had made the tapes over the course of a couple of years & I always favored particular songs. It was annoying to hear them over & over in Germany, especially since they seemed out of place on every tape.
When I got back, I was like, Fuck this. I need a random song generator to make tapes for me. Since I didn't know how to build a random song generator, I simply began to look at my albums, cassettes & CDs & put the tracks in a long computer file & then, when that was completed (it took a while), I started at the a's & began to make mix tapes. I did this for several years & still have the tapes somewhere. I think I got to the m's. Most of those tapes are really fun to listen to, but since they're on cassettes, a format that's going to die sooner than later, they'll probably never be used again. I stopped making the tapes probably just a couple years after I started - but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, too, the idea, when I started on Self Help Radio back when it was an hour, of occasionally dipping into the OCD side of me (with help from the bands list at twee.net) to attempt the impossible - to play as many indiepop songs from a to z as I could in my lifetime. So, according to this playlist here, I did three shows on Self Help Radio in 2003. For some reason, it didn't feel right, & when I was talking to Jennifer of Ear Candy, we sort of agreed it would fit better on Ear Candy. So, around 2004 or so, when I subbed Ear Candy, or when Jennifer didn't have anything else to do, we started. You can hear five of those shows linked on my archive page. As I said yesterday, I don't know why I never archived the first show. It may not have been recorded.
Jennifer seemed exasperated at continuing (you can hear her as we muddle through the b's) so I figured I'd let it die quietly. But then, a couple of months ago, I was like, No. It's a fun idea, it's just weird enough to work toward, & indiepop sounds really good when you play a bunch of it together. Playing indiepop, indie-influenced stuff, & the influences themselves sound cool. & I confess I like how a list can sound as good as it does.
Just please don't ask me to do the same thing with garage rock or electronica. My head would explode. But do expect me to continue with this throughout 2007. Let's see how far we go.
Over on that same archive page, you can see I've digitized a couple of shows from January. Interested in Owls? What about what I liked from 1971? Well, if you missed the shows, they are there for your consumption. Have fun!
What? You expect a "Song Of The Day"? How about this retro-sounding gem from the Radio Dept.? I like this song a little too much. It's called The Worst Taste In Music & clicking on the name will let you hear it. It's from their record of last year called Pet Grief, which should have made my best of but I must've forgotten about it. I won't forget to remove the mp3 two weeks from today, on March 7, so get it now!
The point of this is that, on those five tapes, several songs recurred. I had made the tapes over the course of a couple of years & I always favored particular songs. It was annoying to hear them over & over in Germany, especially since they seemed out of place on every tape.
When I got back, I was like, Fuck this. I need a random song generator to make tapes for me. Since I didn't know how to build a random song generator, I simply began to look at my albums, cassettes & CDs & put the tracks in a long computer file & then, when that was completed (it took a while), I started at the a's & began to make mix tapes. I did this for several years & still have the tapes somewhere. I think I got to the m's. Most of those tapes are really fun to listen to, but since they're on cassettes, a format that's going to die sooner than later, they'll probably never be used again. I stopped making the tapes probably just a couple years after I started - but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So, too, the idea, when I started on Self Help Radio back when it was an hour, of occasionally dipping into the OCD side of me (with help from the bands list at twee.net) to attempt the impossible - to play as many indiepop songs from a to z as I could in my lifetime. So, according to this playlist here, I did three shows on Self Help Radio in 2003. For some reason, it didn't feel right, & when I was talking to Jennifer of Ear Candy, we sort of agreed it would fit better on Ear Candy. So, around 2004 or so, when I subbed Ear Candy, or when Jennifer didn't have anything else to do, we started. You can hear five of those shows linked on my archive page. As I said yesterday, I don't know why I never archived the first show. It may not have been recorded.
Jennifer seemed exasperated at continuing (you can hear her as we muddle through the b's) so I figured I'd let it die quietly. But then, a couple of months ago, I was like, No. It's a fun idea, it's just weird enough to work toward, & indiepop sounds really good when you play a bunch of it together. Playing indiepop, indie-influenced stuff, & the influences themselves sound cool. & I confess I like how a list can sound as good as it does.
Just please don't ask me to do the same thing with garage rock or electronica. My head would explode. But do expect me to continue with this throughout 2007. Let's see how far we go.
Over on that same archive page, you can see I've digitized a couple of shows from January. Interested in Owls? What about what I liked from 1971? Well, if you missed the shows, they are there for your consumption. Have fun!
What? You expect a "Song Of The Day"? How about this retro-sounding gem from the Radio Dept.? I like this song a little too much. It's called The Worst Taste In Music & clicking on the name will let you hear it. It's from their record of last year called Pet Grief, which should have made my best of but I must've forgotten about it. I won't forget to remove the mp3 two weeks from today, on March 7, so get it now!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Preface To Indiepop A To Z # 6: What Happened To The First Five?
What is this thing called "indiepop"? Is it more "indie" than "pop"? Is it something, like "God," which is defined by the likes & dislikes of the believer?
You can read this article called "Twee As Fuck" on Pitchfork if you want to read someone's definition of indiepop, as well as a lot of names dropped to give you context. Since I'm not going to try to define "indiepop" here, I also probably won't drop many names. In fact, I'll just completely cop out & repeat Justice Potter Stewart's remark about pornography but in an indiepop context: I know it when I hear it.
But I also hear a lot more than a single genre when I listen to music. I hear musical influences - like, "Say, does the Blondie song 'Denis' sound like a Buddy Holly song?" or "Doesn't that Elvis Costello song sound like a slowed-down version of the Stones' 'The Last Time'?" - & I also pay attention to the subject matter. I'm a sucker (as everyone knows) for songs about relationships starting & relationships falling apart. I like clever wordplay. I like songs that are fast & jangly. It turns out these three things describe a lot of indiepop, so I gravitated at some point toward indiepop.
Friends often tell me the one thing they don't like about indiepop is that it sounds happy while the lyrics are sad & sappy. I totally dig that. How great to dance to something that's completely broken-hearted! What, you've never danced to "Love Will Tear Us Apart"? & no, that's not indiepop. That's postpunk. Do you need a checklist?
Although, having said that, a lot of indiepop is more affected than natural, which should disqualify it I suppose - "It's not real!" - but the sound - the sound of indiepop - much like a lot of retro music or electronica - even if it doesn't have the soul or feeling behind it - the sound is enjoyable enough. Some of the singers may annoy, some my cloy, some may be talentless & have strange speech impediments, but if the sound is indiepoppy, it'll sound good.
Most of all, indiepop reminds me of being young. It reminds me of a time when I believed in love & when I could still feel in love & I could still feel heartbroken. Nowadays those feelings, if I stumble upon them, feel like echoes of sounds I haven't heard for years. Except when they're in indiepop songs. Then they make complete sense, & I feel them anew.
What I've written above is what my brain says when I ask it, "What is indiepop?" Typically, it's not a definition, it's just a shuffling of observations. That's what my brain does when you ask it that kind of question. Just never never never ask it, "What is the color green?" I've lost an entire weekend to questions like that before.
The "Song Of The Day" is not indiepop. It's New Wave, which I seem to find myself listening to at work a lot, although while I was writing this, I was listening to Starlet, which is indiepop. Never mind. This song is by the Japanese New Wave band (much beloved by Devo & David Byrne, among others) called the Plastics. It's from their self-titled record & it's the song Robot. Click on the name to hear it. The song is in no way an endorsement of robots. They want to destroy all humans, so we must guard against them. But it's okay to hear a song about them. I'll remove it on March 6, 2007, before a robot removes me.
Tomorrow: a brief history of obsessive-compulsion.
You can read this article called "Twee As Fuck" on Pitchfork if you want to read someone's definition of indiepop, as well as a lot of names dropped to give you context. Since I'm not going to try to define "indiepop" here, I also probably won't drop many names. In fact, I'll just completely cop out & repeat Justice Potter Stewart's remark about pornography but in an indiepop context: I know it when I hear it.
But I also hear a lot more than a single genre when I listen to music. I hear musical influences - like, "Say, does the Blondie song 'Denis' sound like a Buddy Holly song?" or "Doesn't that Elvis Costello song sound like a slowed-down version of the Stones' 'The Last Time'?" - & I also pay attention to the subject matter. I'm a sucker (as everyone knows) for songs about relationships starting & relationships falling apart. I like clever wordplay. I like songs that are fast & jangly. It turns out these three things describe a lot of indiepop, so I gravitated at some point toward indiepop.
Friends often tell me the one thing they don't like about indiepop is that it sounds happy while the lyrics are sad & sappy. I totally dig that. How great to dance to something that's completely broken-hearted! What, you've never danced to "Love Will Tear Us Apart"? & no, that's not indiepop. That's postpunk. Do you need a checklist?
Although, having said that, a lot of indiepop is more affected than natural, which should disqualify it I suppose - "It's not real!" - but the sound - the sound of indiepop - much like a lot of retro music or electronica - even if it doesn't have the soul or feeling behind it - the sound is enjoyable enough. Some of the singers may annoy, some my cloy, some may be talentless & have strange speech impediments, but if the sound is indiepoppy, it'll sound good.
Most of all, indiepop reminds me of being young. It reminds me of a time when I believed in love & when I could still feel in love & I could still feel heartbroken. Nowadays those feelings, if I stumble upon them, feel like echoes of sounds I haven't heard for years. Except when they're in indiepop songs. Then they make complete sense, & I feel them anew.
What I've written above is what my brain says when I ask it, "What is indiepop?" Typically, it's not a definition, it's just a shuffling of observations. That's what my brain does when you ask it that kind of question. Just never never never ask it, "What is the color green?" I've lost an entire weekend to questions like that before.
The "Song Of The Day" is not indiepop. It's New Wave, which I seem to find myself listening to at work a lot, although while I was writing this, I was listening to Starlet, which is indiepop. Never mind. This song is by the Japanese New Wave band (much beloved by Devo & David Byrne, among others) called the Plastics. It's from their self-titled record & it's the song Robot. Click on the name to hear it. The song is in no way an endorsement of robots. They want to destroy all humans, so we must guard against them. But it's okay to hear a song about them. I'll remove it on March 6, 2007, before a robot removes me.
Tomorrow: a brief history of obsessive-compulsion.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Barkeep, I'll Have A Gin & Wrap-Up
What if I never mentioned gin ever again? Wouldn't that be WEIRD? What if I couldn't mention something I did a show about, like my show had this totally great power to wipe things from the earth once my show covered them? Wouldn't that be WEIRDER? Also, it'd be handy. Certain powerful people would no longer exist. & a couple of snotty businesses, too, I'll tell you.
I confess I did the gin show sober, but the folks who won the haiku contest were completely blitzed. Utterly stinko. The haikus reeked of quinine. & you know what that means - tonic. Here are the winners, from fourth to first:
FOURTH PLACE: Sue
She drinks her gin slow
Holds the glass up to the light
It looks full of tears
THIRD PLACE: Conrad
God you stink of gin
Like you passed out in the leaves
Of the forest floor
SECOND PLACE: Lawrence
A drink, a card game,
A machine to pick cotton,
A pretty girl’s name
FIRST PLACE: Lou
Passive-aggressive
This dry, bitter alcohol
Bottle of date-rape
& was there a limerick from the Mysterious Limericker? There was! It went like so:
There once was a world-renowned sinner
Who’d share his advice with beginners:
“Don’t help out your brothers -
To do unto others,
You must be a tonic & ginner!”
Or weren't you listening? For shame!
This week, I'll be continuing a series I started with Jennifer over on Ear Candy, but which I didn't follow up on for all of 2006. It'll be the infamous attempt to play Indiepop A To Z. This week I'll talk a little of my obsessive-compulsive desire to make these kinds of lists & all that. Maybe you could go listen to episodes 2 through 5 over here. I never digitized the first one for some weird reason. I should do that. If I can find it.
But it means that there isn't a specific theme for a haiku this week, so why not just write a haiku on anything? Here's some possible subjects: the war on sailing, earwax, confidentiality agreements, how you feel at 3:23 am when you're accidentally awakened by your cat crawling between you & your girlfriend under the covers, whatever happened to softcore porn, eating & running, Roy Lichtenstein, the last telephone booth you ever saw, the difference between Kentucky Fried Chicken & KFC, mannequins, Jack Kirby's OMAC series, what happened when you were thirteen, all the violence in that Blood Meridian book & how you still dream about it, ditto in HBO's "Rome," words like cantillation & how to use them more in everyday life, Gary Larson's "The Far Side" - funny or really fucking funny?, gin (in case you just thought of something), & possibly a haiku about haiku writing.
There are some ideas. Surely you have one or two of your own.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is by the strange, brilliant Moondog, from his sometimes too gorgeous 1969 record Moondog. I had been familiar with his more jazzy stuff, so this record took me completely by surprise. This is the piece called Symphonique #3 (Ode To Venus), & you may consider it a late Valentine's Day present. Click on the name, hear the gorgeous song. Listen to it every day until March 5, 2007, when I will replace it with a glass of gin haikus.
I confess I did the gin show sober, but the folks who won the haiku contest were completely blitzed. Utterly stinko. The haikus reeked of quinine. & you know what that means - tonic. Here are the winners, from fourth to first:
FOURTH PLACE: Sue
She drinks her gin slow
Holds the glass up to the light
It looks full of tears
THIRD PLACE: Conrad
God you stink of gin
Like you passed out in the leaves
Of the forest floor
SECOND PLACE: Lawrence
A drink, a card game,
A machine to pick cotton,
A pretty girl’s name
FIRST PLACE: Lou
Passive-aggressive
This dry, bitter alcohol
Bottle of date-rape
& was there a limerick from the Mysterious Limericker? There was! It went like so:
There once was a world-renowned sinner
Who’d share his advice with beginners:
“Don’t help out your brothers -
To do unto others,
You must be a tonic & ginner!”
Or weren't you listening? For shame!
This week, I'll be continuing a series I started with Jennifer over on Ear Candy, but which I didn't follow up on for all of 2006. It'll be the infamous attempt to play Indiepop A To Z. This week I'll talk a little of my obsessive-compulsive desire to make these kinds of lists & all that. Maybe you could go listen to episodes 2 through 5 over here. I never digitized the first one for some weird reason. I should do that. If I can find it.
But it means that there isn't a specific theme for a haiku this week, so why not just write a haiku on anything? Here's some possible subjects: the war on sailing, earwax, confidentiality agreements, how you feel at 3:23 am when you're accidentally awakened by your cat crawling between you & your girlfriend under the covers, whatever happened to softcore porn, eating & running, Roy Lichtenstein, the last telephone booth you ever saw, the difference between Kentucky Fried Chicken & KFC, mannequins, Jack Kirby's OMAC series, what happened when you were thirteen, all the violence in that Blood Meridian book & how you still dream about it, ditto in HBO's "Rome," words like cantillation & how to use them more in everyday life, Gary Larson's "The Far Side" - funny or really fucking funny?, gin (in case you just thought of something), & possibly a haiku about haiku writing.
There are some ideas. Surely you have one or two of your own.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is by the strange, brilliant Moondog, from his sometimes too gorgeous 1969 record Moondog. I had been familiar with his more jazzy stuff, so this record took me completely by surprise. This is the piece called Symphonique #3 (Ode To Venus), & you may consider it a late Valentine's Day present. Click on the name, hear the gorgeous song. Listen to it every day until March 5, 2007, when I will replace it with a glass of gin haikus.
Friday, February 16, 2007
A Friday Ramble
It's cold in Austin. It's not New Hampshire cold or anything, but it's cold. Cold enough to catch cold. Since I quit smoking, I've gotten two colds, & they were of the "ow ow my sinuses hurt" variety. I never got that when I was a smoker. An EMT friend of mine once told me that it's common among medical types to note that smokers don't get colds as often as non-smokers, & she (at least) attributed it to the smoking. "But," she said, "if it kills the common cold, what else do you think it does to you?" I miss smoking in ways that I couldn't imagine, but I'm done, so I'll sniffle instead.
Today's show is about gin but I haven't had a drink in a week. Although I do plan to talk in a fakey drunk voice during the show. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. At least once I will do it. Ha!
I will also play a song by local depressive Luna Tart. She had an intermediary send me a song of hers that she didn't write for the show but that the show reminded her of. I can't resist her. If I attempt to, she sends her car & makes me watch Leni Riefenstahl movies with her all night long. I can handle her tears, I just can't handle all the mascara.
Other than that, it's just a gin show. I hope future generations will make a drinking game out of it.
& the "Song Of The Day"? Let's make it a funky instrumental. We'll take something from the guitarist Eddy Senay, off of the recently released collection Soul Preachin', which basically collects his two early 70's records. The song is called Zambezi, & yes, it's a cover of the Donny Hathaway tune, & you can click on the name to hear the song. It'll be there till March 2, 2007.
Tune it at 4:30 today, you lush. The show will be intoxicating.
Today's show is about gin but I haven't had a drink in a week. Although I do plan to talk in a fakey drunk voice during the show. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. At least once I will do it. Ha!
I will also play a song by local depressive Luna Tart. She had an intermediary send me a song of hers that she didn't write for the show but that the show reminded her of. I can't resist her. If I attempt to, she sends her car & makes me watch Leni Riefenstahl movies with her all night long. I can handle her tears, I just can't handle all the mascara.
Other than that, it's just a gin show. I hope future generations will make a drinking game out of it.
& the "Song Of The Day"? Let's make it a funky instrumental. We'll take something from the guitarist Eddy Senay, off of the recently released collection Soul Preachin', which basically collects his two early 70's records. The song is called Zambezi, & yes, it's a cover of the Donny Hathaway tune, & you can click on the name to hear the song. It'll be there till March 2, 2007.
Tune it at 4:30 today, you lush. The show will be intoxicating.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Must... Answer... Letters...!
Do you want to ask me something? It's easy to just click here & write me an email. Are you afraid to ask me? Do you think I'll stink of gin? Ha! I smell of Chloroseptic!
But Harry wasn't afraid to ask. He writes:
Hello GARY
I've listened to your show all since summer, since I drive home on Fridays. What happened to Erin or Errin, the girl who talked with you through the fall? I thought she was great.
Ah, Erin, they miss you.
Well, Erin is alive & well & has not, so far as I know, driven south to live with penguins in Belize (as she has oftened told me she wants to do). Instead, she, as a trainee in KOOP's training program, has finished her apprenticeship with me, &, unfortunately, had to enter rehab. (Okay, that last part's not true.) I hope Erin will apply for her own show on KOOP, but she's always welcome back to Self Help Radio, since she always remembered to bring the bottle opener. My teeth suffer.
I hope you've noticed (have you?) that I've started to digitize my shows again. If you visit the Self Help Radio Archive Page you'll find both last week's show (about crushes) & the previous week's show (about mistakes) ready for your listening pleasure. Download them wildly.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is from the occasionally brilliant side project of the Creation Records gang called the Revolving Paint Dream from their record Mother Watch Me Burn. It's a lovely slice of translated psychedelic pop called (Burn This House) Down To The Ground & clicking on it gets a listen from you. It'll be listenable until March 1, 2007. Viva!
I'll see you tomorrow - it's a show about gin!
But Harry wasn't afraid to ask. He writes:
Hello GARY
I've listened to your show all since summer, since I drive home on Fridays. What happened to Erin or Errin, the girl who talked with you through the fall? I thought she was great.
Ah, Erin, they miss you.
Well, Erin is alive & well & has not, so far as I know, driven south to live with penguins in Belize (as she has oftened told me she wants to do). Instead, she, as a trainee in KOOP's training program, has finished her apprenticeship with me, &, unfortunately, had to enter rehab. (Okay, that last part's not true.) I hope Erin will apply for her own show on KOOP, but she's always welcome back to Self Help Radio, since she always remembered to bring the bottle opener. My teeth suffer.
I hope you've noticed (have you?) that I've started to digitize my shows again. If you visit the Self Help Radio Archive Page you'll find both last week's show (about crushes) & the previous week's show (about mistakes) ready for your listening pleasure. Download them wildly.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is from the occasionally brilliant side project of the Creation Records gang called the Revolving Paint Dream from their record Mother Watch Me Burn. It's a lovely slice of translated psychedelic pop called (Burn This House) Down To The Ground & clicking on it gets a listen from you. It'll be listenable until March 1, 2007. Viva!
I'll see you tomorrow - it's a show about gin!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Whither Gin?
Happy Valentine's Day. I got the sniffles.
I confess I'm not fond of gin. I like to drink whiskey, either blended or single malt. I could drink it every day if I could drink it in moderation, but, alas, I like to drink a lot of it. My problem (if you want to call it that) is like that of someone who can't just have a bite of chocolate, or who can't eat just one potato chip. Also, I like to be drunk.
Gin is a different beast. It's a pretty good mixer with fruity or sweet stuff, which makes it great for those who are either very feminine or who have a well-developed feminine side (like the British). It's clear so it seems harmless, but people who understand liquor know that's the true danger: clear liquids hurt the most the next day. I myself have never really had incredibly cheap gin (for some reason, when people want to buy incredibly cheap booze, it's usually vodka - why is that?), but I have had different brands & none of them seem extra special. Its dryness is its most obvious charm.
So why do a show about it, then?
I think it goes back to the blues show I did about alcohol back in 2005. I called it the Labor Day Alcoholiday & I focused (obviously) on songs about the drinking. You wouldn't think that blues songs would contain so many references to alcohol. I was shocked. I thought most blues songs were about paintings. But no! There are lots of songs about alcohol! The next thing you'll tell me, then, is that blues singers were famous drinkers. Sheesh.
It stayed in the back of my mind, as a lot of stuff does (the back of my mind looks like a stinky, damp warehouse collecting nonsense for 39 long years), & I said to myself, probably while drunk (on whiskey, no doubt), "I should do a show about an alcoholic beverage!" & the first thing that came to my mind was gin. Really, it was between that & rum. I was at the time completely incapable of thinking of any word of longer than three letters. & "rye" at that time was a kind of bread.
Whether you like gin or not, however, you'll like the show. It'll make you feel all intoxicated but there'll be no hangover.
Here's a romantic "Song Of The Day" for you from the Mr T Experience about dealing with a break-up, which I'll probably have to do today since I didn't buy my girl any flowers. It's from their 1995 record ...And The Women Who Love Them & it's called Now That You Are Gone. Click on the name to listen to it, & listen to it every day until February 28, 2007, because that's when it'll go away.
I confess I'm not fond of gin. I like to drink whiskey, either blended or single malt. I could drink it every day if I could drink it in moderation, but, alas, I like to drink a lot of it. My problem (if you want to call it that) is like that of someone who can't just have a bite of chocolate, or who can't eat just one potato chip. Also, I like to be drunk.
Gin is a different beast. It's a pretty good mixer with fruity or sweet stuff, which makes it great for those who are either very feminine or who have a well-developed feminine side (like the British). It's clear so it seems harmless, but people who understand liquor know that's the true danger: clear liquids hurt the most the next day. I myself have never really had incredibly cheap gin (for some reason, when people want to buy incredibly cheap booze, it's usually vodka - why is that?), but I have had different brands & none of them seem extra special. Its dryness is its most obvious charm.
So why do a show about it, then?
I think it goes back to the blues show I did about alcohol back in 2005. I called it the Labor Day Alcoholiday & I focused (obviously) on songs about the drinking. You wouldn't think that blues songs would contain so many references to alcohol. I was shocked. I thought most blues songs were about paintings. But no! There are lots of songs about alcohol! The next thing you'll tell me, then, is that blues singers were famous drinkers. Sheesh.
It stayed in the back of my mind, as a lot of stuff does (the back of my mind looks like a stinky, damp warehouse collecting nonsense for 39 long years), & I said to myself, probably while drunk (on whiskey, no doubt), "I should do a show about an alcoholic beverage!" & the first thing that came to my mind was gin. Really, it was between that & rum. I was at the time completely incapable of thinking of any word of longer than three letters. & "rye" at that time was a kind of bread.
Whether you like gin or not, however, you'll like the show. It'll make you feel all intoxicated but there'll be no hangover.
Here's a romantic "Song Of The Day" for you from the Mr T Experience about dealing with a break-up, which I'll probably have to do today since I didn't buy my girl any flowers. It's from their 1995 record ...And The Women Who Love Them & it's called Now That You Are Gone. Click on the name to listen to it, & listen to it every day until February 28, 2007, because that's when it'll go away.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Preface To Gin: An Unofficial History Of Drunken Blogs
They say - they say - that gin was invented by Dutch people in the 1600s. Some people have even said it was at around ten in the morning. Smart asses. How could the world have lived for so long without gin? & really - the Dutch? If so, why doesn't gin taste like cheese? (Although, now that I think about it, gin does taste like clogs.)
They say - they again - that Thomas Jefferson invented the blog in 1943. I believe that shit. I believe that I have read email between Lincoln & Douglas. I believe that robots control every major artificial cheese-making facility not owned by Kraft. (I believe Kraft is run by zombies.)
Thomas Jefferson, as has been previously noted by famous liars like the King & the Cartoon Bob Dylan, was a notorious drinker. That guy could guzzle gin like no one before or since. Long after he invented the blog, while he was patiently waiting for the internet to exist so he could touch up his Wikipedia entry with lies about his sexual prowess & the color of his hair, Jefferson would drink lots of gin & write, write, write. Among the most famous things he wrote while completely smashed on gin were blogs entitled: "The Declaration Of Intoxication," "The Tyranny Of The Hangover," "Why Don't I Follow Roadie Rules?", "I Am Democratically Drunk, Motherfucker," & the much-forwarded "John Adams Lives! But His Liver Is Completely Dead!"
Jefferson was a remarkable example to many of his contemporaries, so why didn't blogging catch on for over fifty years? I suspect it had to do with the fact that Jefferson couldn't spell to save his life while he was drunk. Many of his much-read blog pieces now have been copy-edited, to save him embarrassment. But it took the Lush Writings Of Jefferson Project in 2001 to bring his true genius to light. Now sober, Jefferson has disowned much of what he wrote, & continues to insist he's dead despite my beliefs.
Here's your "Song Of The Day", mistrustful ones.
It's by the amazing Josef K from the 1987 collection Young & Stupid. (Interestingly, in 1987 I was in fact young & stupid. I believe Josef K had my number. I still do.) It's the hyperactive song Heaven Sent & it should rock you in a postpunky way. Click on the name to download, & do so before February 27, because then it will go away.
Tomorrow: though it's Valentine's Day, I'll focus on gin. As it should be.
They say - they again - that Thomas Jefferson invented the blog in 1943. I believe that shit. I believe that I have read email between Lincoln & Douglas. I believe that robots control every major artificial cheese-making facility not owned by Kraft. (I believe Kraft is run by zombies.)
Thomas Jefferson, as has been previously noted by famous liars like the King & the Cartoon Bob Dylan, was a notorious drinker. That guy could guzzle gin like no one before or since. Long after he invented the blog, while he was patiently waiting for the internet to exist so he could touch up his Wikipedia entry with lies about his sexual prowess & the color of his hair, Jefferson would drink lots of gin & write, write, write. Among the most famous things he wrote while completely smashed on gin were blogs entitled: "The Declaration Of Intoxication," "The Tyranny Of The Hangover," "Why Don't I Follow Roadie Rules?", "I Am Democratically Drunk, Motherfucker," & the much-forwarded "John Adams Lives! But His Liver Is Completely Dead!"
Jefferson was a remarkable example to many of his contemporaries, so why didn't blogging catch on for over fifty years? I suspect it had to do with the fact that Jefferson couldn't spell to save his life while he was drunk. Many of his much-read blog pieces now have been copy-edited, to save him embarrassment. But it took the Lush Writings Of Jefferson Project in 2001 to bring his true genius to light. Now sober, Jefferson has disowned much of what he wrote, & continues to insist he's dead despite my beliefs.
Here's your "Song Of The Day", mistrustful ones.
It's by the amazing Josef K from the 1987 collection Young & Stupid. (Interestingly, in 1987 I was in fact young & stupid. I believe Josef K had my number. I still do.) It's the hyperactive song Heaven Sent & it should rock you in a postpunky way. Click on the name to download, & do so before February 27, because then it will go away.
Tomorrow: though it's Valentine's Day, I'll focus on gin. As it should be.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Crushing On Haikus & Wrapping Them Up
Like one of those people who keep the photo that came with the wallet, I always want to fill in blanks with the suggestions next to the blanks. For example, in the blogger window where I type, there's an option to "label" a post. The choices it gives you are: scooters, vacation, fall. I want so badly to put those labels on every post I write. Strooth.
Everyone was in the Valentine's spirit & was totally loving on me Friday, but there are only four haiku winners per show, & those winners are below, from fourth place to first:
FOURTH PLACE: Marcia
She knows it’s bad taste
To reveal you have a crush
In a bad haiku
THIRD PLACE: Jon
Too, too ecstatic
Heart & art, a crush on you,
Schoolboy to schoolgirl
SECOND PLACE: David
Am too old to crush
What love from gay youth remains
You can’t crush from me
FIRST PLACE: Kate
Tripped up, flattened, love
Head over heels over head
Crushed by your crushing
The Mystery Limericker continued to produce limericks for the show. Here's the one he sent for a show about Crushes:
There once was a stinky old lush
Whose drinking had made his face blush
“But it ain’t alcohol,”
He’d explain with a drawl,
“On cheap wine I have a big crush!”
He'll have a chance to continue to explore an alcoholical theme, because this week's show will be about gin. Bitter, dry gin. Gives you one hell of a hangover gin. Delicious when mixed with fruity or sweet drinks gin. Gin. You should write a haiku about this libation. Or perhaps you can send me a request for a song about gin. Or, if you're in a band, you could write a song about gin & I'll play it on the show! So many ways to be involved. We'll need lots of crushed ice.
This "Song Of The Day" has nothing to do with gin, except perhaps that it goes well with it. It's from a so-so remix collection from last year called Future Retro 80's: Alternative Classics Remixed & it contains a Sparks remix of a Morrissey song from his first solo record. This is one of my favorite kinds of remix - one that simply chops up the song & repeats its parts while adding a beat. It's like a musical dissection. So, without any further ado, here's Suedehead (The Sparks Remix). Click on it to hear all six & a half minutes of its glory. I'll leave it here till February 26.
Tomorrow: I drink a lot of gin & then write a short story for you.
Everyone was in the Valentine's spirit & was totally loving on me Friday, but there are only four haiku winners per show, & those winners are below, from fourth place to first:
FOURTH PLACE: Marcia
She knows it’s bad taste
To reveal you have a crush
In a bad haiku
THIRD PLACE: Jon
Too, too ecstatic
Heart & art, a crush on you,
Schoolboy to schoolgirl
SECOND PLACE: David
Am too old to crush
What love from gay youth remains
You can’t crush from me
FIRST PLACE: Kate
Tripped up, flattened, love
Head over heels over head
Crushed by your crushing
The Mystery Limericker continued to produce limericks for the show. Here's the one he sent for a show about Crushes:
There once was a stinky old lush
Whose drinking had made his face blush
“But it ain’t alcohol,”
He’d explain with a drawl,
“On cheap wine I have a big crush!”
He'll have a chance to continue to explore an alcoholical theme, because this week's show will be about gin. Bitter, dry gin. Gives you one hell of a hangover gin. Delicious when mixed with fruity or sweet drinks gin. Gin. You should write a haiku about this libation. Or perhaps you can send me a request for a song about gin. Or, if you're in a band, you could write a song about gin & I'll play it on the show! So many ways to be involved. We'll need lots of crushed ice.
This "Song Of The Day" has nothing to do with gin, except perhaps that it goes well with it. It's from a so-so remix collection from last year called Future Retro 80's: Alternative Classics Remixed & it contains a Sparks remix of a Morrissey song from his first solo record. This is one of my favorite kinds of remix - one that simply chops up the song & repeats its parts while adding a beat. It's like a musical dissection. So, without any further ado, here's Suedehead (The Sparks Remix). Click on it to hear all six & a half minutes of its glory. I'll leave it here till February 26.
Tomorrow: I drink a lot of gin & then write a short story for you.
Friday, February 09, 2007
It's Finally A Friday Again - Buy Me A Drink
Nothing to say right now except LISTEN TO SELF HELP RADIO TODAY. I'll be there from 4:30 to 6:00pm & the show's all about crushes. If you've ever had a crush - or if you want a crush - or if you currently have a crush - this is the show for you.
Since I'm here, let's have a "Song Of The Day".
This isn't really a song. This is a bit of chaos from the unbelievably great Firesign Theatre. It's a piece from a record called Pink Hotel Burns Down that collects outtakes & unfinished business. In fact, this track is the beginning of a project they never concluded, & it shows how their crazy brilliance shines even in leftovers & incompletes. It's the title track - The Pink Hotel Burns Down - & you can click on the name to get the song. I'll remove it from here on February 23, 2007.
Come visit me today on the radio, or, if you're a computer geek, listen online at koop dot org!
Since I'm here, let's have a "Song Of The Day".
This isn't really a song. This is a bit of chaos from the unbelievably great Firesign Theatre. It's a piece from a record called Pink Hotel Burns Down that collects outtakes & unfinished business. In fact, this track is the beginning of a project they never concluded, & it shows how their crazy brilliance shines even in leftovers & incompletes. It's the title track - The Pink Hotel Burns Down - & you can click on the name to get the song. I'll remove it from here on February 23, 2007.
Come visit me today on the radio, or, if you're a computer geek, listen online at koop dot org!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Shall I Answer A Letter? I Shall Answer A Letter!
Just sitting here, sleepily listening to Syd Barrett, ready to go home, about to gather my show for tomorrow, hoping you'll listen because I do it for you, I reach into the mailbag & find this email:
gary, do you get lots of reguests for show themes and if so can i suggest one. one about the circus would be fun. or clowns. thanks.
Believe it or not, I don't get a lot of requests for shows (I assume the writer meant "request" - I don't know what "reguest" means - could it be like "regifting" except with radio show guests?). I think I may be a little unapproachable. Or people are happy with what I choose. Or no one really cares. Because no one is listening.
I like the idea about a show about clowns, though. I will keep it in mind. It should be fun to put together, & then I'll use it to scare children with. Also, some adults.
Since I am listening to the late, great Syd Barrett, why not share a song of his with you for the "Song Of The Day"? How about this track from his second record, Barrett called Baby Lemonade? If so, click on it to listen to it. I'll remove it February 22, 2007.
I don't know if anyone's ever counted, but a lot of bands took their names from Syd Barrett's songs. Baby Lemonade has been the name of two bands: one from Scotland (who released a single called "Secret Goldfish," which became the name of another band) & a decidedly less interesting band from Los Angeles.
gary, do you get lots of reguests for show themes and if so can i suggest one. one about the circus would be fun. or clowns. thanks.
Believe it or not, I don't get a lot of requests for shows (I assume the writer meant "request" - I don't know what "reguest" means - could it be like "regifting" except with radio show guests?). I think I may be a little unapproachable. Or people are happy with what I choose. Or no one really cares. Because no one is listening.
I like the idea about a show about clowns, though. I will keep it in mind. It should be fun to put together, & then I'll use it to scare children with. Also, some adults.
Since I am listening to the late, great Syd Barrett, why not share a song of his with you for the "Song Of The Day"? How about this track from his second record, Barrett called Baby Lemonade? If so, click on it to listen to it. I'll remove it February 22, 2007.
I don't know if anyone's ever counted, but a lot of bands took their names from Syd Barrett's songs. Baby Lemonade has been the name of two bands: one from Scotland (who released a single called "Secret Goldfish," which became the name of another band) & a decidedly less interesting band from Los Angeles.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Whither Crushes?
I know it sounds fey & coy & totally indiepoppy, but I've always loved the word "crush." Quite possibly because crushes were my sole romantic experience from the moment I first wanted to make out with girls until I made out with a girl when I was eighteen. (Gasp! Gary had his first kiss at eighteen! Maybe that's why he's still a virgin!) Crushes didn't go away, of course - crushes are like the first step toward falling in love, but since that step is a doozy, most of the time you don't take it. A crush is therefore usually ephemeral.
The reason I decided to do a show about crushes is twofold. One is that I usually do a special Valentine's Day show with some kind of aspect of love involved - although I am usually a little cynical (I did a "hate" show in 2005, for example, &, although it never aired because of the fire last year, I prepared a break-up show for 2006). What I had planned to do this time last year, but I jumped the gun in did last July, was a Cupid show. Why I did it then I don't know - it was a hell of a show. You should go listen to it right now.
Forced to confront my own negativity, & needing a show for Valentine's Day, I found myself desert-dry & unable to think of anything really worth doing. Then I noticed a pretty girl wandering by on one of the last autumn days when I was still a smoker, on one of those long-gone smoke breaks that I used to enjoy (sigh). I realized I was totally crushing on her, & it occured to me that, as a faithful lover to a beautiful woman for almost six years, a woman I hope to spend the rest of my life with, a woman I have no interest in betraying or otherwise hurting with a meaningless fling, it occured to me that for a person in my position, crushes were really the only safe form of infidelity around. Because crushes are ultimately harmless, & utterly forgettable. I remember, for example, having this idea - relationship dude can only have a crush - but I cannot for the life of me remember what the woman who inspired this idea looked like. In this story, in fact, I miss the cigarette most of all.
Ta-da! Crush is the theme for Self Help Radio this week, & now you know why.
Todays "Song Of The Day" is a crushworthy old-skool hip-hop song that my iPod chose to "randomly" play for me twice the last couple of days. It's by a more or less obscure 80s group called Whistle (featuring members with names like Jazzy Jazz, Kool Doobie, Kraze & DJ Silver Spinner) (at the time there was a lot of speculation that Michael McDonald was the real name of Kool Doobie) (we had a lot of time for speculation in those days) & I like the song because of the odd noises in it. The song is called (Nothing Serious) Just Buggin' & it's nothing serious, so stop buggin' & click on the name to listen to it. I'll leave it up till February 21, 2007.
Tomorrow, I answer a letter. I unlock your fetters. I pet an Irish Setter. I knit a sweater. I get to know you better. Because you're a go-getter.
The reason I decided to do a show about crushes is twofold. One is that I usually do a special Valentine's Day show with some kind of aspect of love involved - although I am usually a little cynical (I did a "hate" show in 2005, for example, &, although it never aired because of the fire last year, I prepared a break-up show for 2006). What I had planned to do this time last year, but I jumped the gun in did last July, was a Cupid show. Why I did it then I don't know - it was a hell of a show. You should go listen to it right now.
Forced to confront my own negativity, & needing a show for Valentine's Day, I found myself desert-dry & unable to think of anything really worth doing. Then I noticed a pretty girl wandering by on one of the last autumn days when I was still a smoker, on one of those long-gone smoke breaks that I used to enjoy (sigh). I realized I was totally crushing on her, & it occured to me that, as a faithful lover to a beautiful woman for almost six years, a woman I hope to spend the rest of my life with, a woman I have no interest in betraying or otherwise hurting with a meaningless fling, it occured to me that for a person in my position, crushes were really the only safe form of infidelity around. Because crushes are ultimately harmless, & utterly forgettable. I remember, for example, having this idea - relationship dude can only have a crush - but I cannot for the life of me remember what the woman who inspired this idea looked like. In this story, in fact, I miss the cigarette most of all.
Ta-da! Crush is the theme for Self Help Radio this week, & now you know why.
Todays "Song Of The Day" is a crushworthy old-skool hip-hop song that my iPod chose to "randomly" play for me twice the last couple of days. It's by a more or less obscure 80s group called Whistle (featuring members with names like Jazzy Jazz, Kool Doobie, Kraze & DJ Silver Spinner) (at the time there was a lot of speculation that Michael McDonald was the real name of Kool Doobie) (we had a lot of time for speculation in those days) & I like the song because of the odd noises in it. The song is called (Nothing Serious) Just Buggin' & it's nothing serious, so stop buggin' & click on the name to listen to it. I'll leave it up till February 21, 2007.
Tomorrow, I answer a letter. I unlock your fetters. I pet an Irish Setter. I knit a sweater. I get to know you better. Because you're a go-getter.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Preface To Crushes: Do You Even Celebrate Valentine's Day?
I guess at some level Valentine's Day is icky. I mean, it has a grand old tradition - it happens on nearly the same date as the Lupercalia, much like Christmas & Easter find themselves on pagan dates, too. But since the mid-1950's, when basically everything in America became commodified, it's been one in another of commercial obligations - there are probably relationships out there that are ruined when a partner forgets Valentine's Day. Human beings love their arbitrary milestones.
I kinda miss being alone on Valentine's Day. It was an excuse to focus unhappiness & bitterness against not only crass Hallmarkism but also embarrassing public displays of affection & fidelity. Over on the Usenet group alt.angst, we used to call it Great Big Blowing Void day, or GBBV Day for short. Other people tediously shorten the date to its initials, VD, to show their dislike for it. (I wonder, did they give people penicillin as gifts? That would be funny.) It's an easy holiday to be negative about. I think I dislike both the negative reactions & the positive reactions to Valentine's Day.
Alas, I've been in a relationship for like six years now, so I won't be alone, although we don't really celebrate VD or GBBV Day or even Valentine's Day. We don't really celebrate Christmas either, now that I think about it. I should note, I say WE, because I do do a radio show with Christmas songs, & for a few years now, I have done shows about Valentine's Day. This year, for example, I'll focus on crushes. An aspect of relationships - or on the beginnings of relationships - or the hope for a relationship.
Why crushes? You should find out tomorrow.
I almost forgot! The "Song Of The Day"!
I've been enjoying the Rhino box set released last year called Rockin' Bones: 1950s Punk & Rockabilly, especially the more obscure stuff. I picked out this song by native Texan Tom Tall since it approximates some of the problems a deejay can have, either while spinning or while trying to impress someone you want to love on. It's called Stack-A-Records, & clicking on the name there will let you listen to the mp3. Listen now, since I'll remove it February 20, 2007. Enjoy.
I kinda miss being alone on Valentine's Day. It was an excuse to focus unhappiness & bitterness against not only crass Hallmarkism but also embarrassing public displays of affection & fidelity. Over on the Usenet group alt.angst, we used to call it Great Big Blowing Void day, or GBBV Day for short. Other people tediously shorten the date to its initials, VD, to show their dislike for it. (I wonder, did they give people penicillin as gifts? That would be funny.) It's an easy holiday to be negative about. I think I dislike both the negative reactions & the positive reactions to Valentine's Day.
Alas, I've been in a relationship for like six years now, so I won't be alone, although we don't really celebrate VD or GBBV Day or even Valentine's Day. We don't really celebrate Christmas either, now that I think about it. I should note, I say WE, because I do do a radio show with Christmas songs, & for a few years now, I have done shows about Valentine's Day. This year, for example, I'll focus on crushes. An aspect of relationships - or on the beginnings of relationships - or the hope for a relationship.
Why crushes? You should find out tomorrow.
I almost forgot! The "Song Of The Day"!
I've been enjoying the Rhino box set released last year called Rockin' Bones: 1950s Punk & Rockabilly, especially the more obscure stuff. I picked out this song by native Texan Tom Tall since it approximates some of the problems a deejay can have, either while spinning or while trying to impress someone you want to love on. It's called Stack-A-Records, & clicking on the name there will let you listen to the mp3. Listen now, since I'll remove it February 20, 2007. Enjoy.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Mistakes Haiku Wrap-Up Plus
My girlie just had knee surgery so I believe the posts to the weblog will be a bit terse this week. My apologies. She needs me more than you do right now.
Here are the winners of the haiku contest for this week, from fourth place to first. Congrats all!
FOURTH PLACE: Birdy
Sitting, wondering
Are haikus real poetry
Or simply mistakes?
THIRD PLACE: Jeff
He needed a word
To say after his mistakes
He used up “sorry”
SECOND PLACE: Jenn
Forgetting is sad
But to forget to age is
A mistake I’ll make
FIRST PLACE: Will
Keep count of screw ups
Frame & display them at home
Better than trophies
& the Mysterious Limerick Writer has written another limerick for Self Help Radio. It goes like this:
There once was a bearded old baker
We knew as a clumsy mistaker
He’d commonly utter
When leaving out butter
“Bet you’re glad I’m not a car maker!”
For todays "Song Of The Day", I boldly post a bootleg. This is the demo version (produced by Brian Eno & Richard Williams) of a Television tune from 1974 from a wonderful record called Double Exposure. The song is Venus De Milo, & clicking on the name lets you listen to it. I've always loved this song, especially the line "I fell into the arms of Venus De Milo" - with Verlaine's weird pronunciation of the statue's name. Sigh. This mp3 will disappear from this site on February 19, 2007. Eat it quick.
This week's show will be my annual Valentine's Day show, this one about crushes. Find out why I have a crush on you tomorrow!
Here are the winners of the haiku contest for this week, from fourth place to first. Congrats all!
FOURTH PLACE: Birdy
Sitting, wondering
Are haikus real poetry
Or simply mistakes?
THIRD PLACE: Jeff
He needed a word
To say after his mistakes
He used up “sorry”
SECOND PLACE: Jenn
Forgetting is sad
But to forget to age is
A mistake I’ll make
FIRST PLACE: Will
Keep count of screw ups
Frame & display them at home
Better than trophies
& the Mysterious Limerick Writer has written another limerick for Self Help Radio. It goes like this:
There once was a bearded old baker
We knew as a clumsy mistaker
He’d commonly utter
When leaving out butter
“Bet you’re glad I’m not a car maker!”
For todays "Song Of The Day", I boldly post a bootleg. This is the demo version (produced by Brian Eno & Richard Williams) of a Television tune from 1974 from a wonderful record called Double Exposure. The song is Venus De Milo, & clicking on the name lets you listen to it. I've always loved this song, especially the line "I fell into the arms of Venus De Milo" - with Verlaine's weird pronunciation of the statue's name. Sigh. This mp3 will disappear from this site on February 19, 2007. Eat it quick.
This week's show will be my annual Valentine's Day show, this one about crushes. Find out why I have a crush on you tomorrow!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
It's Thursday - Shall I Answer A Letter Today?
Boy, I would love to answer a letter today, really I would. It's just that no one has written me a letter. Well, except that person who writes me every other day to ask me if I'm bald. I fell for that once, fella. I'm not falling for that again...
All right, I'm not bald! Now leave me alone!
Grr, now he knows I'm insecure. Grrr.
I won't be able to write tomorrow because my beloved Magda is going to have knee surgery, & I'm going to be hanging out in the coolest place in the world (for catching diseases), the hospital, for most of the day. I'll disappear to do my show, but she'll be out of the OR by then & so hopped up on pain meds that she'll be discussing coevolution issues with the television & she'll not notice I'm gone. I can't tell you if any of the great contributors to Self Help Radio will be preparing a song about mistakes, since no one has so far. Maybe they'll do it by mistake. It's happened.
Those of you musical types reading this now & wondering about contributing to Self Help Radio may want to read this previous post of mine to learn how you can get your music played on the air. & for those of you who want to ask me a question, ask me a question. I answer them on Thursdays. Can it wait till Thursday? Only ask me questions that can wait till Thursday.
Or are you bored? Should I share with you a "Song Of The Day"?
Here's something you all know & love. By Iggy Pop. It's called I'm Bored from his record New Values. Click on the name to listen to it. Do it before February 15, 2007, as I'll be removing the mp3 then.
Listen tomorrow to Self Help Radio! I promise it won't be a mistake! I also promise it'll be a mistake!
All right, I'm not bald! Now leave me alone!
Grr, now he knows I'm insecure. Grrr.
I won't be able to write tomorrow because my beloved Magda is going to have knee surgery, & I'm going to be hanging out in the coolest place in the world (for catching diseases), the hospital, for most of the day. I'll disappear to do my show, but she'll be out of the OR by then & so hopped up on pain meds that she'll be discussing coevolution issues with the television & she'll not notice I'm gone. I can't tell you if any of the great contributors to Self Help Radio will be preparing a song about mistakes, since no one has so far. Maybe they'll do it by mistake. It's happened.
Those of you musical types reading this now & wondering about contributing to Self Help Radio may want to read this previous post of mine to learn how you can get your music played on the air. & for those of you who want to ask me a question, ask me a question. I answer them on Thursdays. Can it wait till Thursday? Only ask me questions that can wait till Thursday.
Or are you bored? Should I share with you a "Song Of The Day"?
Here's something you all know & love. By Iggy Pop. It's called I'm Bored from his record New Values. Click on the name to listen to it. Do it before February 15, 2007, as I'll be removing the mp3 then.
Listen tomorrow to Self Help Radio! I promise it won't be a mistake! I also promise it'll be a mistake!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Whither Mistakes?
Har har, someone over at the KOOP home page has written, in regards to my show this week: "Mistakes is the theme of this week's Self-Help Radio, hosted by a true expert on the subject, DJ Gary, Friday, 2/2, 4:30-6:00." Someone shall suffer for their impudence!
Or am I possibly doing a show about mistakes because I am the sort of person who is an expert on the subject? Or did I simply stumble on the idear of doing a show about mistakes by mistake? Make no mistake, there's a reason for a show about mistakes, & I'll get to the bottom of it. & I won't be mistaking some lame-ass "I don't know how I came up with it" commentary for a real explanation, no. This will be solid & satisfying, like a cold Snickers bar or like taking a dump in a hotel room in London.
But first: I pondered yesterday about the scale of what we might call "accidents" or "errors" or "getting something wrong," & said that I thought that mistakes were somewhere low on the list. But what is that list? Would it look something like this (from the most egregious to the least)?
Extinction
Genocide
War
Tragedy
Horrible Crime
Serious fuck up
Stupid motherfucking thing to do
Self-absorbed action
Mistake
Faux pas
Boo boo
I tried to make it so that the categories were more or less "things that can happen by human choice" rather than accidents, & I am know thinking, lots of times things get worse after someone makes a mistake. As an example: it was a mistake to vote for Hitler in 1933, & because lots of people in Germany made that mistake (which might well be classified as a stupid motherfucking thing to do), there was a genocide. So maybe mistakes are part of a continuum of action that, if left unchecked, can continue to snowball up the ladder of bad decisions until the worst possible thing can happen. I've even thought of an example:
Let's say you're a sad & lonely boy who's just discovered masturbation. You like it so much you're doing it until you're hurting yourself. That's a boo boo. However, you live in a culture that doesn't appreciate sexual exploration & definitely doesn't talk about it, so when you attempt to talk about it to your parents, they are horrified - what a faux pas! You're not without resources, though, &, as you've kept tickling your ivory, you find that your johnson's hurting more & even changing color. You know a friend who's more enlightened, whose dad is a doctor, & you know you can ask him. But you choose not to. A mistake!
All of this is culminating in a self-absorbed barrage of guilt & shame which, as you continue to watch the infection consume your man-parts, goes from stupid motherfucking thing to do up the ladder to serious fuck-up. You've so successfully kept it hidden from everyone, including your family, that when you start punishing women for your stupidity, you are able to do it without any suspicion being drawn your way (& rape & other forms of sexual abuse are horrible crimes). In fact, as you finish law school & start a career in public office, you find that power shields you from most forms of punishment, & by the time you're a rotted-dicked congressman in the House Of Representatives, you have zero qualms authorizing a president (who went from mistake to war in no time flat) to occupy another country as the cost of your own.
Of course, this is entirely fictitious, &, as far as I know, there are no Congressmen with completely dessicated penises. I was being hypothetical & I'm sorry if I offended anyone in the Senate or the House.
I do know why I am doing this show, however. It's because Magda & I listened to the Baxendale's You Will Have Your Revenge on the way to Dallas before we went to Europe & the song "(I've Blown It) Big Time" made me think, "I should do a show about dumb mistakes." It's as simple as that. I'm just glad I don't have to do a show about dumb motherfucking things to do. That could take a while.
Ah, the Song Of The Day!
This is a sweet & shambly soul number by a quartet called Johnson, Hawkins, Tatum & Durr from a neat collection of obscure soul singles from the early 1970s called Eccentric Soul, Volume 1: The Capsoul Label. I love music that sounds like it's held together almost entirely by the faith & will of the musicians & singers involved. The song is called "You Can't Blame Me", & clicking on the name will let you hear it. I will remove this mp3 on February 14, 2007, & you can't blame me if you've missed it by then.
Tomorrow: answering letters? Might that be a mistake?
Or am I possibly doing a show about mistakes because I am the sort of person who is an expert on the subject? Or did I simply stumble on the idear of doing a show about mistakes by mistake? Make no mistake, there's a reason for a show about mistakes, & I'll get to the bottom of it. & I won't be mistaking some lame-ass "I don't know how I came up with it" commentary for a real explanation, no. This will be solid & satisfying, like a cold Snickers bar or like taking a dump in a hotel room in London.
But first: I pondered yesterday about the scale of what we might call "accidents" or "errors" or "getting something wrong," & said that I thought that mistakes were somewhere low on the list. But what is that list? Would it look something like this (from the most egregious to the least)?
Extinction
Genocide
War
Tragedy
Horrible Crime
Serious fuck up
Stupid motherfucking thing to do
Self-absorbed action
Mistake
Faux pas
Boo boo
I tried to make it so that the categories were more or less "things that can happen by human choice" rather than accidents, & I am know thinking, lots of times things get worse after someone makes a mistake. As an example: it was a mistake to vote for Hitler in 1933, & because lots of people in Germany made that mistake (which might well be classified as a stupid motherfucking thing to do), there was a genocide. So maybe mistakes are part of a continuum of action that, if left unchecked, can continue to snowball up the ladder of bad decisions until the worst possible thing can happen. I've even thought of an example:
Let's say you're a sad & lonely boy who's just discovered masturbation. You like it so much you're doing it until you're hurting yourself. That's a boo boo. However, you live in a culture that doesn't appreciate sexual exploration & definitely doesn't talk about it, so when you attempt to talk about it to your parents, they are horrified - what a faux pas! You're not without resources, though, &, as you've kept tickling your ivory, you find that your johnson's hurting more & even changing color. You know a friend who's more enlightened, whose dad is a doctor, & you know you can ask him. But you choose not to. A mistake!
All of this is culminating in a self-absorbed barrage of guilt & shame which, as you continue to watch the infection consume your man-parts, goes from stupid motherfucking thing to do up the ladder to serious fuck-up. You've so successfully kept it hidden from everyone, including your family, that when you start punishing women for your stupidity, you are able to do it without any suspicion being drawn your way (& rape & other forms of sexual abuse are horrible crimes). In fact, as you finish law school & start a career in public office, you find that power shields you from most forms of punishment, & by the time you're a rotted-dicked congressman in the House Of Representatives, you have zero qualms authorizing a president (who went from mistake to war in no time flat) to occupy another country as the cost of your own.
Of course, this is entirely fictitious, &, as far as I know, there are no Congressmen with completely dessicated penises. I was being hypothetical & I'm sorry if I offended anyone in the Senate or the House.
I do know why I am doing this show, however. It's because Magda & I listened to the Baxendale's You Will Have Your Revenge on the way to Dallas before we went to Europe & the song "(I've Blown It) Big Time" made me think, "I should do a show about dumb mistakes." It's as simple as that. I'm just glad I don't have to do a show about dumb motherfucking things to do. That could take a while.
Ah, the Song Of The Day!
This is a sweet & shambly soul number by a quartet called Johnson, Hawkins, Tatum & Durr from a neat collection of obscure soul singles from the early 1970s called Eccentric Soul, Volume 1: The Capsoul Label. I love music that sounds like it's held together almost entirely by the faith & will of the musicians & singers involved. The song is called "You Can't Blame Me", & clicking on the name will let you hear it. I will remove this mp3 on February 14, 2007, & you can't blame me if you've missed it by then.
Tomorrow: answering letters? Might that be a mistake?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Preface To Mistakes: Does Anyone Really Want To Make A Mistake?
Someone a long time ago, someone I didn't really know & who had a magical way of thinking - not more creative, but seeing the world as populated more with fairies & karma & divine intent - whereas I am a materialist, & see the world as totally free of mystical stuffs - this person was mad at me because I did a show I called "The Broken Show." (Looking back at my playlists, I see it was one of the first shows I did in 2002 as I was beginning this whole "Self Help Radio" journey.) She said I "cursed her." What would she think about a show about mistakes & being mistaken? If she listened, would it be a mistake?
I was wondering where, in the array of fucking up, a mistake falls. Somewhere near the bottom, I'd guess; a mistake seems relatively trifling - you're gonna catch some kind of hell, but it's totally tolerable. "I made a mistake when I didn't call the wife today!" The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as: "A misconception about the meaning of something; a thing incorrectly done or thought; an error of judgement." In fact, mistakes are common enough, & carry with them only mild penalties, that we must modify them with adjectives to increase their enormity: that was a big fucking mistake, dude!
But even so, certainly tragedies are not to be dismissed as "mistakes" - except by the people who want to downplay the bloody clusterfucks they've created. Ergo, the President will say, of Iraq, "Mistakes were made." But I don't think simple mistakes cause deaths.
This is, at least, the philosophy of the show on mistakes for this week. So my former acquaintance might feel it's a mistake if she happens upon Self Help Radio on Friday, but, supposing my radio show has supernatural abilities (which it doesn't), it wouldn't cause her to crash her car - but it could perhaps make her forget a meeting over the weekend. She won't be fired, but she'll be yelled at. It was a stupid mistake on her part. Not listening to the show - forgetting about the meeting. How could a radio show - even one about mistakes - cause you to make a dumb mistake? Now you just sound silly.
Look! It's the "Song Of The Day"!
For no apparent reason I was listening to Crime & The City Solution this morning, a gloomy postpunk band fronted by Simon Bonney, who could out-Nick Cave Nick Cave in the wailing & gnashing of teeth category, & whose band featured cohorts of Cave's like Rowland Howard & Mick Harvey. I was first attracted to them primarily because of the Cave-ish-ness of Bonney, but came to understand that Bonney's devotion to the darkness was more steadfast & darker than Cave's. This song is from their 1988 album Shine, & is called All Must Be Love. Click on the song's name to hear an mp3. That mp3 will be removed the day before Valentine's Day, February 13, 2007.
Tomorrow: why a show about mistakes? Am I atoning for something?
I was wondering where, in the array of fucking up, a mistake falls. Somewhere near the bottom, I'd guess; a mistake seems relatively trifling - you're gonna catch some kind of hell, but it's totally tolerable. "I made a mistake when I didn't call the wife today!" The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as: "A misconception about the meaning of something; a thing incorrectly done or thought; an error of judgement." In fact, mistakes are common enough, & carry with them only mild penalties, that we must modify them with adjectives to increase their enormity: that was a big fucking mistake, dude!
But even so, certainly tragedies are not to be dismissed as "mistakes" - except by the people who want to downplay the bloody clusterfucks they've created. Ergo, the President will say, of Iraq, "Mistakes were made." But I don't think simple mistakes cause deaths.
This is, at least, the philosophy of the show on mistakes for this week. So my former acquaintance might feel it's a mistake if she happens upon Self Help Radio on Friday, but, supposing my radio show has supernatural abilities (which it doesn't), it wouldn't cause her to crash her car - but it could perhaps make her forget a meeting over the weekend. She won't be fired, but she'll be yelled at. It was a stupid mistake on her part. Not listening to the show - forgetting about the meeting. How could a radio show - even one about mistakes - cause you to make a dumb mistake? Now you just sound silly.
Look! It's the "Song Of The Day"!
For no apparent reason I was listening to Crime & The City Solution this morning, a gloomy postpunk band fronted by Simon Bonney, who could out-Nick Cave Nick Cave in the wailing & gnashing of teeth category, & whose band featured cohorts of Cave's like Rowland Howard & Mick Harvey. I was first attracted to them primarily because of the Cave-ish-ness of Bonney, but came to understand that Bonney's devotion to the darkness was more steadfast & darker than Cave's. This song is from their 1988 album Shine, & is called All Must Be Love. Click on the song's name to hear an mp3. That mp3 will be removed the day before Valentine's Day, February 13, 2007.
Tomorrow: why a show about mistakes? Am I atoning for something?
Monday, January 29, 2007
Owl Haiku Wrap-Up & Stuff
I had a great time doing the owl show & some of you had a great time writing haikus for it. If you haven't already, visit the Self Help Radio home page & read about the haiku contest. It's quickly replaced "poetry slam" as Austin's ignored poetry of choice!
Here are the winners of last week's bird-of-prey-licious owl haiku contest:
FOURTH PLACE: Ted
You stuffing an owl
The last night at our old place
All the light had gone
THIRD PLACE: Amber
She threw a tantrum
Because her mother called her
Stupid as an owl
SECOND PLACE: Jim
The back of the barn
Where I thought I heard hooting
Two eyes meeting mine
FIRST PLACE: Maryann
Pray, pray, bird of prey
Your prey can’t hear your wings flap
As they eat & play
As I mentioned last week, the Anonymous Limerick Writer has been writing a limerick per week based on the theme. Here's his not-very-anonymous limerick about owls:
There once was a pretentious owl
Who’d dress in a cape & a cowl
Despite his station
By reputation
He was known as an awfully foul fowl.
Thanks & congrats to all entrant & contributors.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is a direct result of me looking for crushworthy songs about crushes from my Valentine's Day show next week, which will be about crushing on people (duh). So I was listening to the BMX Bandits all morning, & I did find a song to play by them, but it won't be this song, which comes from the Serious Drugs compilation of their Creation Records run. The song is called "Next Girl" & clicking on the name will let you listen to it. This mp3 will be removed February 12, 2007, just in time to not offend Lincoln on his birthday.
Tomorrow - & most of this week - there'll be nothing but mistakes here, since that's what my show is about this week.
Here are the winners of last week's bird-of-prey-licious owl haiku contest:
FOURTH PLACE: Ted
You stuffing an owl
The last night at our old place
All the light had gone
THIRD PLACE: Amber
She threw a tantrum
Because her mother called her
Stupid as an owl
SECOND PLACE: Jim
The back of the barn
Where I thought I heard hooting
Two eyes meeting mine
FIRST PLACE: Maryann
Pray, pray, bird of prey
Your prey can’t hear your wings flap
As they eat & play
As I mentioned last week, the Anonymous Limerick Writer has been writing a limerick per week based on the theme. Here's his not-very-anonymous limerick about owls:
There once was a pretentious owl
Who’d dress in a cape & a cowl
Despite his station
By reputation
He was known as an awfully foul fowl.
Thanks & congrats to all entrant & contributors.
Today's "Song Of The Day" is a direct result of me looking for crushworthy songs about crushes from my Valentine's Day show next week, which will be about crushing on people (duh). So I was listening to the BMX Bandits all morning, & I did find a song to play by them, but it won't be this song, which comes from the Serious Drugs compilation of their Creation Records run. The song is called "Next Girl" & clicking on the name will let you listen to it. This mp3 will be removed February 12, 2007, just in time to not offend Lincoln on his birthday.
Tomorrow - & most of this week - there'll be nothing but mistakes here, since that's what my show is about this week.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Must I Answer Letters? I Must Answer Letters!
It's Thursday, & in addition to my regular "training" I do by running my iPod up & down a random tracklist to exercise it, in preparation for the show tomorrow, I also take this time to answer my hardly ever overflowing mailbag. It's sad, not very many people wrote me while I was in Europe. I felt unloved. Which is all right, because it is my natural state. Thank you for confirming my worst fears.
This email comes from someone who told me not to say any part of their name, not even their first initial, which is M:
Gary,
I know youve been traveling and all but have you giving up on putting your shows on your webpage? I was hoping to hear a couple of shows I missed but theyre still not there. I am not able to listen all the time so your mp3's are great.
Well, M, I am glad you said something because I certainly was about to. Isn't that website, Self Help Radio Dot Net, shabbily organized? Oh, I noticed that everything was updated last week, the 2006 playlists put where they belong, etc., but why haven't the FOUR - that's right, FOUR - shows done recently put put up? Three in 2007! What the fuck is up?
Actually, it's a software issue. I'm waiting for an upgrade for my digitizing software. So, I'll be putting the shows up - just as soon as I can start digitizing them. Thank you for your patience, patients.
Now: the "Song Of The Day":
I apologize in advance for the not-very-good quality of the mp3, but it sounds like it was recorded from vinyl. It's from a record compiled in 1981 called Hot Boppin' Girls, Vol. 2, which is part a series of albums (without a notes & copyright information, so it may have some kind of murky legal status) featuring women singers of rock & roll & rockabilly from the late 50s. This particular song is by a perfomer named Barbara Greene, about whom I could find nothing on the web, aside from the fact that she recorded a few 7"s in the 50s. It's a cover of a rock standard, & I like two things about it:
1) The hint of gender reversal.
2) The weird dude doing backing vocals. If you can call them that.
It's a cover of Long Tall Sally & you can hear it by clicking on the name of the song. This mp3 will remain on this site until February 8, 2007.
Remember! You can write me an email at any time. & tomorrow Self Help Radio's all about owls!
This email comes from someone who told me not to say any part of their name, not even their first initial, which is M:
Gary,
I know youve been traveling and all but have you giving up on putting your shows on your webpage? I was hoping to hear a couple of shows I missed but theyre still not there. I am not able to listen all the time so your mp3's are great.
Well, M, I am glad you said something because I certainly was about to. Isn't that website, Self Help Radio Dot Net, shabbily organized? Oh, I noticed that everything was updated last week, the 2006 playlists put where they belong, etc., but why haven't the FOUR - that's right, FOUR - shows done recently put put up? Three in 2007! What the fuck is up?
Actually, it's a software issue. I'm waiting for an upgrade for my digitizing software. So, I'll be putting the shows up - just as soon as I can start digitizing them. Thank you for your patience, patients.
Now: the "Song Of The Day":
I apologize in advance for the not-very-good quality of the mp3, but it sounds like it was recorded from vinyl. It's from a record compiled in 1981 called Hot Boppin' Girls, Vol. 2, which is part a series of albums (without a notes & copyright information, so it may have some kind of murky legal status) featuring women singers of rock & roll & rockabilly from the late 50s. This particular song is by a perfomer named Barbara Greene, about whom I could find nothing on the web, aside from the fact that she recorded a few 7"s in the 50s. It's a cover of a rock standard, & I like two things about it:
1) The hint of gender reversal.
2) The weird dude doing backing vocals. If you can call them that.
It's a cover of Long Tall Sally & you can hear it by clicking on the name of the song. This mp3 will remain on this site until February 8, 2007.
Remember! You can write me an email at any time. & tomorrow Self Help Radio's all about owls!
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Whither Owls?
The idea for a show about owls probably came to me entirely at random. It's been a long time, so I don't know. I come up with ideas, usually while trying not to think about my radio show, mostly while reading something on the web late at night, some news report that is ubiquitous & has grabbed the nation's attention, but I've completely missed it. (A recent example: I just today found out about who Michael Devlin is. If you don't know, don't bother - they'll be making a Law & Order episode about it soon enough. If you do know, you pay more attention to our culture than I apparently do.)
I have ideas for radio shows that I know I'll never completely realize. I want to do a show about different dimensions, for example, but can you name three songs where that's talked about? I also want to do a show about being clumsy & awkward, & I might be able to pull that off, but it'll take a lot of work. As for owls, well. I was most probably either listening to a song about owls & that set me off or it landed in my head like a bird of prey on a branch.
One thing I am hoping to avoid is the whole "night owl" song cliche. I may play one or two, but the nickname for a partyer who stays out all night seems to disrespect the elegant fowl whom this show will celebrate. Exceptions? There's a pretty great Gene Chandler song that I like, & maybe the sad song by Lowell Fulson (which may predate the celebratory definition of "night owl," since the protagonist calls himself that epithet because he's sadly wandering the streets for his unfaithful love). But mostly I wanted songs that reference the hooting birds.
I am interested in how different cultures view the owl. As I'll talk about on Friday, we in the west consider the owl wise primarily because of its association with Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom. In other parts of the world, though, it's a symbol of evil (maybe wisdom is bad?) & in India, it's very common to call someone stupid by comparing them to an owl. (One article I read said this was because the owl has a "dumb stare." Dumb? I think it's creepily disinterested & intense.) But you can wait till Friday to listen to owl stories. Or - I can't resist - you might not give a hoot.
By the way, I don't think there's a relationship to the noise owls make & the "hoot" of "I don't give a hoot." But that won't stop me from playing a song about not giving a hoot. But you probably don't give a rat's ass. You want to hear:
the "Song Of The Day"
This is a jazzy piece from a vocal ensemble from Poland from the 60s & 70s called the Novi Singers. They appear on this compilation I have called Go Right: Jazz From Poland 1963 - 1975, which is much more kitschy, popular music-assocation jazz than the avant-grade stuff happening at the same time. If you imagine a kind of Burt Bacharach aesthetic mixed with a production music sense of psychedelia, & you like what you imagine, you'll like this. (I don't mean to seem dismissive - this is really quite a lot of fun.) The song is called The Runway, & clicking on the name there will let you listen to the mp3. It will be removed from this site on February 7, 2007.
Tommorow: another song, & a letter answered. Though not in that order.
I have ideas for radio shows that I know I'll never completely realize. I want to do a show about different dimensions, for example, but can you name three songs where that's talked about? I also want to do a show about being clumsy & awkward, & I might be able to pull that off, but it'll take a lot of work. As for owls, well. I was most probably either listening to a song about owls & that set me off or it landed in my head like a bird of prey on a branch.
One thing I am hoping to avoid is the whole "night owl" song cliche. I may play one or two, but the nickname for a partyer who stays out all night seems to disrespect the elegant fowl whom this show will celebrate. Exceptions? There's a pretty great Gene Chandler song that I like, & maybe the sad song by Lowell Fulson (which may predate the celebratory definition of "night owl," since the protagonist calls himself that epithet because he's sadly wandering the streets for his unfaithful love). But mostly I wanted songs that reference the hooting birds.
I am interested in how different cultures view the owl. As I'll talk about on Friday, we in the west consider the owl wise primarily because of its association with Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom. In other parts of the world, though, it's a symbol of evil (maybe wisdom is bad?) & in India, it's very common to call someone stupid by comparing them to an owl. (One article I read said this was because the owl has a "dumb stare." Dumb? I think it's creepily disinterested & intense.) But you can wait till Friday to listen to owl stories. Or - I can't resist - you might not give a hoot.
By the way, I don't think there's a relationship to the noise owls make & the "hoot" of "I don't give a hoot." But that won't stop me from playing a song about not giving a hoot. But you probably don't give a rat's ass. You want to hear:
the "Song Of The Day"
This is a jazzy piece from a vocal ensemble from Poland from the 60s & 70s called the Novi Singers. They appear on this compilation I have called Go Right: Jazz From Poland 1963 - 1975, which is much more kitschy, popular music-assocation jazz than the avant-grade stuff happening at the same time. If you imagine a kind of Burt Bacharach aesthetic mixed with a production music sense of psychedelia, & you like what you imagine, you'll like this. (I don't mean to seem dismissive - this is really quite a lot of fun.) The song is called The Runway, & clicking on the name there will let you listen to the mp3. It will be removed from this site on February 7, 2007.
Tommorow: another song, & a letter answered. Though not in that order.