Preface To Space Junk: Junk In Space!

There are lots of articles online about space junk, which is stuff we humans have sent into space which is now just cluttering up the place. It's not just satellites that no longer work - it includes trash we've left up there, & paint chips that have come off the space shuttle, & hatches blown off space modules. & these pieces of junk orbit the planet at around seventeen thousand miles an hour.

It's such a problem that there are several agencies, like the Center for Orbital and Reentry Debris Studies which is tasked to tracking & making sure stuff up there doesn't run into spacecraft or the International Space Station or anything we send up there (like currently functioning satellites). Here's a little animation to give you an idea what it's like up there. They say they're tracking 22,000 objects up there.

It doesn't just stay up there - lots of times the orbits degrade & the space junk returns - & you get news headlines like "Satellite Heading For Earth" & "NASA Satellite Falls On Canada: No One Hurt".

If you didn't want to click the little movie up there, here's a similar image from the European Space Agency:

Ninth Anniversary Coming!

That's right! It's been approximately nine years since Self Help Radio began! Actually, it's officially eight years & three hundred & sixty three days, since Self Help Radio first went on the air on October 9, 2002. The management at KOOP radio immediately regretted their error but were too nice to say anything about it.

When I do my anniversary shows, I revisit an old theme - adding music I've discovered since the show aired, & sometimes tweaking the theme a bit - but this anniversary I'm doing something else that's special: I'm giving away tee shirts!

I've asked the original designer of the beat-up Self Help Radio bear, Suloni Robertson, to make a ninth anniversary version, & so she has. You can listen to show Monday for a chance to win!

I'm also going to give a couple of shirts away on my Facebook page, but you have to "like" the show to win. More information about this - & a preview of the new design! - will be forthcoming.

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Fifteen

Sadness in the house of A Joke A Day! The death & dying of "jokes" causes a funereal atmosphere that may infect your own mailbox! Unsubscribe now!

The misogyny continues:

A guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He gulps it down and peeks into his shirt pocket. He orders another shot of whisky, gulps it down and peeks into his short pocket. He orders a third shot and does the same thing. After the sixth shot, he asks the bartender for the bill, pays and starts to walk out.

Curiosity gets the better of the bartender and he says to the guy, "Excuse me, but I noticed that every time you drank a shot, you kept looking into your pocket. I was wondering what's in your pocket."

The guy slurs, "Well, I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. I keep drinking until she starts to look good."

Should we laugh at the drunken man for his choice in unattractive mate? Or should we pity evil time which ages women, turns them into wrinkled shrews that require poor husbands to supplement themselves with the demon rum in order to simply share a bed? In the world of the A Joke A Day misogynist "joke," a husband picks a wife for her looks alone, unwisely foreseeing that age will take away the facade that makes her harpy-like personality bearable. Ha ha ha ha!

But women are all gold-diggers anyway, right, A Joke A Day?

Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

All my love,
Belinda. xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

Let's hope John reconciles with this obvious greedhead so he can make jokes about her once she's grown prune-faced & old!

There was one slightly clever joke I liked this week. It was this one:

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

A possibly true story!

-----

If you're reading this today, Thursday the 6th, & you'd like to hear me sub WRFL's classic rock show The Belfry, you can do so from 4 to 6pm Lexington time on the 88.1 frequency, or you can listen online at the same time at wrfl dot fm. But I have to listen, you don't. I understand your reluctance.

Whither Come Home?

Have you always had a home to come home to? Apparently about one in every two hundred Americans is either homeless or finds themselves homeless every year.

Oftentimes on Self Help Radio, a particular phrase is explored - the show has explored songs with the construction "here i/you/he/she/it/they come(s)," for example. This week you'll hear nothing but songs about coming home. Mostly as a command: "come home!"

If the show were more popular, & you were abroad, or had otherwise abandoned the show, & the show knew it, the show might advertise itself with "Come home to Self Help Radio!" Self Help Radio, alas, is no one's home, so coming home to it is by definition impossible.

A lot of people spend a lot of time at WRFL, so it feels like home to many people, & to many radio shows, like Self Help Radio. Listen to Self Help Radio playing songs about coming home in its current home tomorrow (that's Monday) morning at 7:30am. You can listen in Lexington at the 88.1 frequency or you can listen online at the WRFL web site.

Actually, Self Help Radio is lucky enough to have two homes. It works at WRFL but rests at its own web site, self help radio dot net, where tomorrow's show will come home to later in the day.

Either way, please listen!

Preface To Come Home: Self Help Radio Come Home!

"Self Help Radio, Come Home!" was a popular so-called art-house movie made in Texas in 2004 as a sequel to the equally obscure but no less popular film "Self Help Radio."

In the film, which is based on the novella of the same name, the poor but proud Dickenbock family come upon hard times & are forced to sell their radio show, called "Self Help Radio," to the evil Duke Of Clearchannel. However, the plucky young radio show is unwilling to be apart from its owner, young Dickie Dickenbock, & sets out on a long & dangerous journey from the Duke's home in far-away Los Angeles to its home in Austin.

Also included is the gripping courtroom scene where the evil but well-funded Duke Of Clearchannel sues the pants off Richard Dickenbock & his family for breach of contract. Many critics call the pantsless Dickenbock family the highlight of the movie.

Surprisingly, no one "Self Help Radio" series sequels have been filmed.

Just Flying Over The Earth Today

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Fourteen

The laughs fail to continue!

Okay, one joke made me smile this week. It was this one:

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, & a breadstick in his right ear. He says, "What is wrong with me?" The psychiatrist replies, "You are not eating properly."

I'm sure it was old the first time Henny Youngman told it, though.

One "joke" puzzled me this week. It was this one:

Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn't get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. "Darling! He blurted out, "Will you marry me?"
"Of course, I will, you silly boy," she replied, "Who's speaking?"

Perhaps you understand why it's funny. I don't know if it's supposed to be absurd, or if we're supposed to laugh at the poor lovesick man's predicament, or if it's hilarious that the woman appears to be desperate & promiscuous. None of those things actually make it funny, but perhaps whoever approves the "jokes" for the A Joke A Day mailing list thought it looked like a joke, so he/she/it sent it along.

This "joke" was utterly ruined by an uncaught spelling mistake:

A teacher asked students to bring old staff, 1 kid came with his grandpa.

That's the risk when you text in a joke!

I Admit I Meant To Be Mean

I don't want to be mean, as I have a houseguest, but I do need to put this week's show, which is about mean people, on the web. I meant to do it earlier but at the time I didn't have the means. So I am being rude & doing it in the meantime.

The show is not at all mean, but may help you deal with mean people. That's not a promise. Nor a threat. It's just a thing. The show is at its normal place at self help radio dot net. The show is in two parts (contents of which are listed below) & the parts have been carefully named part one & part two.

(part one)

"Mean Old World" Sam Cooke _The Man Who Invented Soul_
"Mean World" The Mighty Mellow Tones _Heavy On Doo-Wop, Vol 10: Crystal Ball Records_
"Mean Man" Dreamtones _The Fargo Records Story_

"A Man Is A Mean Thing" Barbara Perry _Goldwax Northern Soul_
"Boys Can Be Mean" Sugar & The Spices _Girls With Guitars_
"Mean Woman Blues" Roy Orbison _The Definitive Collection_
"Mean Man" Betty Harris _Saturday Night Fish Fry: New Orleans Funk & Soul_
"Mean When I'm Mad" Eddie Cochran _The Eddie Cochran Box Set_
"Mean Old Devil" Bruce Haack _Rough Trade Shops - Electronic 01_

"Mean Mr. Mustard (take)" The Beatles _Anthology 3_
"Mean Time" Blue Aeroplanes _Weird Shit_
"You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" Thurl Ravenscroft _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_

(part two)

"Mean To Me" Billie Holiday _The Legacy Box 1933 - 1958_
"What Makes You Treat Me Mean" Speckled Red _Complete Recorded Works 1929-1938_

"Mean Talking Blues" Woody Guthrie _Hard Travelin': The Asch Recordings, Vol. 3_
"Jimmie's Mean Mama Blues" Jimmie Rodgers _The Singing Brakeman_
"A Boy Named Sue" Johnny Cash _At San Quentin_
"Mean Mama Boogie" Johnny Bond & His Red River Valley _Hillbilly Boogie_
"Treat Me Mean, Treat Me Cruel" Conway Twitty _The Rock & Roll Years_

"Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean (Nashville Version)" Ruth Brown _Night Train To Nashville: Music City Rhythm & Blues, 1945-1970_
"So Mean To Me" Little Milton _The Chess Story, 1947-1975: Vol. 9 - 1960-1961_
"Mean To Me" The Stranglers _Black & White_
"Don't Be So Mean" Madd, Inc. _Up From The Grave_
"Mean Ole Gal" Little Esther & Johnny Otis _Even More Mellow Cats 'n' Kittens: Hot R&B & Cool Blues 1945-1951_
"Mean Woman Blues" Buddy Raye _I'm Just The Other Woman: MSR Madness # 4_

Whither Meanie?

"Mean People Suck" says a popular (once popular?) bumper sticker. It was also a movie with James Franco in it. In this article written for a life coaching website (for reals), it concludes "mean people don’t suck... their attitude does. Don’t take it personally!" You can oftentimes find quizzes online with questions (& choices like):

Who's etched in your memory as being the meanest person you've ever had to deal with?

An Ex!
Someone I thought was a Friend!
Lawyers!
Police!
Bill Collectors!
A Teacher!
My Parent/s!
A Stranger!
Someone not listed here!
A Boss or Supervisor!

(Bosses & supervisors, take note - you're less than "someone not listed here.")

You can buy tee shirts with the slogan on it.

Just like "chicks dig jerks," "mean people suck" appears to be a cliche Americans (maybe others) enjoy. But do mean people deserve to be celebrated on a radio show?

That's for you to decide. Listen to Self Help Radio tomorrow (that's Monday) morning at 7:30 am on the 88.1 frequency on Lexington radio or online at the wrfl.fm frequency if you're pretending your computer is a radio. If you're being mean about it & just won't listen, the show will be archived on the Self Help Radio website later in the day.

Mean people will probably come off pretty badly, but then, they always do. & yet they usually get everything they want.

Preface To Meanie!: Why So Mean?

What do you mean you're not mean? You're the meanest person I've ever met! If you take the average of all the people in the world, you're way meaner than the mean! & I mean that.

The word mean has lots of meanings (pun intended) & I hope to get to the bottom of how the definition "selfish in a petty way; unkind; cruel, spiteful, malicious" relates to "to intend to convey or indicate" & "to act as a symbol of; signify or represent." I know, one's a verb & the other's an adjective (the "mean" meaning "average" is a noun) but surely they're related. Aren't they?

I especially like the slightly old-fashioned (but prevalent in lots of blues songs) meaning of "mean" that's "low in social status; of humble origins." "Mean" can also mean "humiliated or ashamed" (just perfect for blues songs!) & "in poor physical condition; sick or debilitated," which I've never heard anyone else say ever.

I didn't mean to suggest you were mean in that first paragraph. It's not what I meant. I don't know what I meant. I might just have been acting mean.

& by "mean" I meant "excellent; skillful," as in "He plays a mean game of bridge"!

Gone To Boomslang!

I'll try to write in this blog the next couple of days but it may be tough - it's the third annual WRFL Boomslang Festival starting tonight & continuing all through the weekend. Here, let me put up a banner-like thing taken from the website to show support!



I'll be volunteering at the Cosmic Charlie's first show tonight, so you should come say hello. & enjoy the weekend - a lot of people - a lot of them volunteers - helped put this together. It should be a blast.

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Thirteen

Oh you know. The week was all like:

Did you hear about the two radio antennas that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!

& then it was all like:

Vicky was at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the six-year-old dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! They have Mom! And they want money!”

& then it was all like:

Okay, so a Texan rancher comes upon a farmer from Maine. The Texan looks at the Mainer and asks, "Say, how much land you think you got here?" Mainer: 'Bout 10 acres I'd say." Texan (boasting): Well, on my lot, it takes me all day to drive completely around my property!" Mainer: "Yep, I got one of them trucks too."

Oh, & something insulting to a particular place/person/thing made it through, doubtless pissing off one or two U of Michigan fans:

Q. Why do University of Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from their rear view mirror?
A. So they can use handicapped parking.

Ho hum.

(Do they really call people from Maine "Mainers"?)

Whispers Gettin' Louder

I don't know how to make whispers in plaintext. I was thinking just little dots, like ...... , but that usually indicates a loss for words. I do know how to make whispers on the radio, & I in fact played a lot of songs about whispers today which, strangely enough, had very few whispers in them. It seems like it's all right to talk about whispers using your normal everyday voice. In fact, some people even scream about whispers.

I like the word whisper because it is basically onomatopoeia, & that's a figure of speech everyone loves. The whispering that the show did is listed in song form below, & you can find the show at the Self Help Radio website where I have divided it into two parts: part one & part two. They have better names that than but I can't say them out loud - come closer, I'll whisper them to you.

(part one)

"Doo Wop Whispers" PBNJ Buchanan _Speak Up!_
"Whisper" Pelle Carlburg _The Lilac Time_
"Mr. Whisper" Dory Previn _On My Way To Where_

"Whispering" Joni James _Put On A Happy Face_
"The Words That I Whisper" Sal Mineo _The Complete Epic Recordings_
"Whisper Not" The Florentines _él: The Legendary B Sides_
"Whispers (Gettin' Louder)" Jackie Wilson _The Very Best Of Jackie Wilson_
"Whisper You Love Me Boy" Chris Clark _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 8: 1968_
"Whisper" Morphine _Yes_

"Heard Your Whisper" The June Brides _Every Conversation: The Story Of The June Brides & Phil Wilson_
"There Is No Sun" Jay Reatard _Watch Me Fall_
"Wallpaper Whispers" Seashells _Sunshine Eyes_
"Chinese Whispers" Melys _Suikerspin_

(part two)

"Birds Fly (Whisper To A Scream)" Acumen Nation _Newer Wave_

"Reduced To Whispering" The Shirts _The Shirts_
"From A Whisper To A Scream" Elvis Costello _Trust_
"Cries & Whispers" Polyrock _Polyrock/Changing Hearts_
"Whisper Whisper" The Postelles _The Postelles_
"Do You Whisper?" Dressy Bessy _Holler & Stomp_

"Whispering Pine" Doris _Did You Give The World Some Love Today Baby_
"Whispering Weeds" Frank Black & The Catholics _Black Letter Days_
"Whisper" Kickstand _Kickstand_
"The Whisper Of Your Mind" The Lilac Time _Astronauts_
"Forever Whispers Secrets To Me" Celestial _Crystal Heights_

Whither Whispers?

/whisper

Just between you & me, I was a loud kid. In third grade, the teacher had a little throw rug she kept in the corner which she called the "bicker rug" where she put children who were talkative or noisy (in fact, because I hardly ever got into fights, I had no idea that "bicker" meant "fight" until later on - I thought it meant "rambunctious" or "loud"), & where I often found myself. Only years later, after I met people who were quite loud as adults did I realize I chatted up a storm because I was insecure & wanted attention. My voice was high, then, so it probably made things worse.

Now that I am older & even more insecure, I'm not very loud, because I don't want anyone to know how insecure I am. But I don't whisper a lot, either. My voice is naturally quiet these days, which is a shame because I live with partially deaf beasts & wife. If I had a dollar for every time my wife has said, "What was that again?" I'd have a bunch of dollars. Which I'd give to her to clean out her ears.

I often whisper on the air to create a feeling of intimacy between me & the listener, if such a person really exists. It's more a stage whisper, though, not the sort of whisper that gets shushed in libraries or movie theaters.

I am in whisper mode now, though, because it's imperative that you listen tomorrow at 7:30 am, either on the 88.1 fm frequency in Lexington or online at wrfl dot fm, because I will be whispering further information about whispering directly to you.

Though, now, that I think about it, I'll also be archiving the show later that day at self help radio dot net, so maybe it's not that imperative. I didn't have to whisper after all.

No, no. I did.

Preface To Whispers: Speak Up!

Is whispering sometimes louder than normal speech? This odd Facebook page thinks so.

But is whispering bad for your vocal cords when singing? Apparently not. How do I know? Because someone asked that question on Yahoo! Answers. He asked: "I heard that whispering can damage your vocal chords slowly. I whisper sing songs that I know by heart. I sing death metal vocals and I need to know if this is bad for you."

He sings death metal vocals & he wonders if whispering is bad for him? Anyway, the answer is here.

Is whispering rude? The Busy Mama thinks so!

Something else that may be rude is me telling you that I'm going to be on the radio this evening playing hip hop from ten pm to midnight Lexington time. You can listen in Lexington on the 88.1 frequency or you can listen anywhere at wrfl.fm. It's not that important, so I thought I'd whisper it at you.

But Have You Heard About Boomslang?

I took a nap this afternoon because I subbed someone's show this morning from six to nine am & didn't get to sleep last night before one am so I got roughly three hours sleep & by the way I am still tired.

The show that I subbed included the amazing WRFL Surf! & one person on the Facebook page described my deejaying as "Inanity personified..." If only they had been commenting on Self Help Radio, I could have used it as a quote for promotion! Ah well.

Anyway, Boomslang is a music festival held every year (at least for the past three years) by WRFL featuring an eclectic mix of independent, obscure, or fill-in-the-blank bands, including the first Queerslang, which seems pretty cool. I am only vaguely involved in it - I have volunteered for busy work, & will volunteer during the festival - but I had my first Boomslang anxiety dream while I napped. At some point during the dream I realized it was a week until Boomslang, & woke up feeling only slightly relieved. I mean, it's only a week away!

If you're in or near Lexington, the festival may be worth your while. It's basically Friday through Sunday, at a small number of venue, not as crazy as SXSW, & it does look like maybe next week will be quite lovely. Read more about it at Boomslang fest dot com. I'm convinced there's something there for you - & most probably more than a little something!

A Joke A Day A Week, Episode Twelve

Well, you learn something new every A Joke A Day A Week.

Did you know, for example, there is a sub-category of jokes called "Genie Jokes"?

There are! In fact there's a whole page (okay, probably more) on the internet for them, at weirdity dot com slash genie. Indeed, you can find genie jokes on such diverse topics as "Miscellaneous Genies," "Well Meaning Genies," "Anti-Men & Anti-Women Genies," "Rocket Science Genies" (I don't really want to know), "Friends & Genies" (doesn't that sound like a DH Lawrence book?), "Tough Cookie Genies," & of course "Smutty Genie Jokes" - need I point out they're "(Adults Only)"?

Here's what it says "about Genie Jokes":

Genie jokes vary around the premise that the subject finds a bottle/brass lamp/similar antique, from which, by chance, the Genie is liberated after a long incarceration. Usually, the joke illustrates the stupidity of the fortunate, or the risks of careless use of language. Occasionally, & worth collecting, are those that give the Genie his revenge for imprisonment or other ulterior motive."

One of this week's A Joke A Day was in fact a genie joke, which went:

Married couples, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one a wish. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise. Next, the fairy asked the husband what he wanted. He said, "I wish I had a wife 30 years younger than me." So the fairy picked up her wand and poof - the husband was 90.

Of course, in typical A Joke A Day fashion, the "genie joke" - it was labelled as such - didn't have a genie in it, but a fairy. Which is, as you might imagine, not exactly the same as a genie, although to be fair, a genie wouldn't just appear to "congratulate" a "married couples" which was just two people.

Is it a very good joke? Perhaps it's in the telling. Here is the way the joke appears on the Genie Jokes website, under the "Anti-Men Genies" section. Please note that someone has taken care to make sure the joke is well-written & has some internal logical consistency. Unlike, you know, the drivel that passes for A Joke A Day:

There once was a couple who had been married for many years ... happily married. They had met in their teens, it was love at first sight. Their families got on well, their friends approved ... they married young.

After bringing up the kids, they decided to take a cruise before planning a long and happy retirement. They could afford a five-day short trip around the Mediterranean. The cruise gave them a day wandering around the gift shops of the Greek island of Santorini.

In the back of a dark, almost deserted store, the wife found a dusty old lamp. She gave it a quick polish, to see what it could look like ... and out popped our friendly neighborhood genie.

"I usually give just one wish", said the genie, "but I can see that you two are a couple still in love after all these years; you may each have a wish."

"Oooh!" said the wife, "I'd like to be on a proper ocean cruise ... somewhere in the South Pacific".

And in an instant, she was gone, wafted off to her dream ... maybe she meant to include her husband, but these wishes tend to be taken literally.

"And you, sir?", asked the genie.

Conscious that he was alone, and the world was at his fingertips, the husband thought long and hard ...

"I'd like a wife thirty years younger than me", he eventually decided.

And in an instant, he aged thirty years, and the genie disappeared.

Moral: Wish for what you will ... but be careful if the genie is a woman.

A better joke, although I could do without the ellipses... & the moral.

Can A Radio Show Relax?

Relax? RELAX? Who can relax in this day & age? In this time of confusion & crisis? Only hipsters can relax! & they do it ironically!

Self Help Radio relaxed today, though, enough to make a show about relaxing. Can't relax? I can't blame you. Perhaps there's something relaxing in today's show for you. If not, you should do what I do: rely upon alcohol & drugs.

The show in its entirety is at the Self Help Radio website. It's been divided into two soothing parts: part one will rub your feet while part two plays music on a zither. Or something. Probably not. What's in the two parts is below.

(part one)

"I've Got To Learn To Relax More, Yo!" Innerstance.Beatbox _All Little Boys Do Silly Little Dances_
"Lighten Up Again" Mocean Worker _Mix & Match_
"(Relax) You Will Think You Are A Chicken" Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet _Sport Fishin'_

"Take It Easy" Fats Waller _1935 Vol. 1_
"Relax-Ay-Voo (with Line Renaud)" Dean Martin _Memories Are Made Of This_
"Relax Max" Dinah Washington _Swingin' Miss 'D'_
"Relax" Elvis Presley _It Happened At The World's Fair_
"Relax & Mambo" Machito & His Orchestra _Sabroso: The Afro-Latin Groove_
"Take It Easy My Brother Charlie" Kahami Karie _Kahami Karie_

"Relax" Bobby Conn & The Glass Gypsies _The Homeland_
"Relax" Calvin Harris _Ready For The Weekend_

(part two)

"Relax" The Dandy Warhols _Come On Feel The Dandy Warhols_
"Rush To Relax" Eddy Current Suppression Ring _Rush To Relax_

"You Gots To Chill" EPMD _Strictly Business_
"Relax Baby Be Cool" Serge Gainsbourg _Aux Armes Et Caetera_
"Tomorrow Never Knows" The Beatles _Revolver_
"Relax" Petra Haden _Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell Out_
"Unwind" The Rosebuds _The Rosebuds Unwind_

"Relax Your Mind" Leadbelly _Leadbelly's Last Sessions_
"Relax & Take It Easy" Tommy Duncan With The Ranger Trio _Atomic Platters: Cold War Music From The Golden Age_
"Never Relaxed" Daniel Johnston _Songs Of Pain_
"I'm Gonna Take It Easy" Gabriel Brown _Roll & Tumble Blues - A History Of Slide Guitar_

Whither Relax?

I am so exhausted while preparing this radio show with the theme "relax." I drove (with the wife & the dogs) to Atlanta yesterday to visit a friend from Austin who happened to be in Atlanta for his birthday. I had read that the visit would only take a six hour drive, but stupidly assumed the drive would take us through Nashville, & so added ninety minutes to the journey by driving through Atlanta. Then, today, I drove back. The right way, though, up I-75 through Knoxville.

We did manage to eat some amazing vegan food in Nashville at a place called The Wild Cow. Oh my invisible friend in the sky, their vegan reuben was amazing. They also had beet hummus. I had previously heard you couldn't beat beet hummus, & I was right.

In Atlanta we ate Ethiopian food at a place called Desta. Though they didn't serve the food in a traditional way, the place still made amazing Ethiopian food. It was spicy in all the right ways. The most charming thing that happened is that a Latino working there, asking us if we wanted more injera, said, "Do you want more tortillas?" We loved that.

I give them both hearty shout-outs & don't give shout-outs to any asshole drivers who apparently don't know the rules of the road. A long drive with dickwads on the road is the opposite of relaxation.

What is relaxation? Find out tomorrow morning (that's Monday) from 7:30 to 9am, on the 88.1 frequency in Lexington, & online everywhere else at wrfl dot fm. If I'm not too relaxed after the show, I'll archive it at the the Self Help Radio website.

Chill out. Listen!

Preface To Relax: How Do You Want To Relax Today?

I'll be taking a relaxing drive to Atlanta today. There I shall relax with my friend Joe, who's turning 44 today, which is 1/15th of 666. He's got so long to go.

I'll be back in time to do a show about relaxing, don't worry. Seriously. Chill out.