Funky In Here

This is what some people would call a "teaser."

The Oxford English Dictionary, that old bastard, defines a "teaser" thusly:

One who or that which teases, in various senses:
- One who teases wool, cotton, or the like; or, an instrument or machine for teasing wool, etc.
- One who teases or annoys.
- A woman who arouses but evades amorous advances; a ‘cock-teaser’. colloq.
- A strip-tease act; a strip-tease artist.
- Something that teases, or causes annoyance; something difficult to deal with, a ‘poser’.
- An introductory advertisement, esp. an excerpt or sample designed to stimulate interest or curiosity. orig. & chiefly U.S.

I mean the last definition. By the way, there are some weird-ass definitions for "teaser" (besides the one about wool - what the hell?) which I have neglected to include, a) because I don't want the OED suing me, & 2) because they're weird-ass. Like:

- An inferior stallion or ram used to excite mares or ewes.
- In elephant-hunting: "When we find them, the teasers, who are the most courageous of the hunters, begin to tease the leaders of the herd. The bulls soon become angry and excited and give chase to the teasers."
- In Cricket, a ball that is difficult to play. (possibly obsolete, since no one talks to anyone who play cricket, wisely)
- A fisherman's device (orig. live bait) for attracting fish.
- A kind of toy pipe with a coil (of paper, etc.) at the end which shoots out when one blows down the stem.

Really? That's what those toys are called?

Crap, I've quoted a lot of the definitions. The OED Legal Team is going to be teasing me in court for years to come.

Anyway, the point is: I am just saying that I am putting the last touches on this month's Self Help Radio Extra, which (it isn't ready yet, hence the tease) should be full of funky soul. I ran out of time today because I had to get a shot. Then I had to freak out because I got a shot. Then I had to get another shot to keep me from freaking out. Then another. Then another.

Those, of course, were shots of whiskey. Boom!

Tomorrow, then. Self Help Radio Extra. Be there or your freed ass won't be able to explain anything to your mind.