Preface To Rumble: Rum Balls

(These rum balls don't rumble. Image from here.)

Confession time: though I love to cook, I'm not that good at baking. If I told you why I think that is, you would laugh at me, so I'm not going to say so. But one other reason is that often with baking if you follow the recipe exactly you might screw up because I believe like with gardening one needs to have a knack for baking. A kind of "yeasty thumb," if you will. But please don't.

Here's a recipe of vegan rum balls. They seem easy enough - & I love when people try to veganize recipes, I've done that a few times for non-dessert-y things, with mixed results. I haven't had a rum ball in a while & I am struck by how little rum goes in them. I might double the rum content. Or just finish the fifth of rum you bought for the recipe thinking you'd need more than a couple of tablespoons. Wow.

Rumble & rum ball are kinda homonyms, or rather, homophones, as people constantly correct me these days. It's like there's another kind of synonym out there that everyone has always called a synonym & then suddenly everyone's like "if it means the same but it's often considered not, it's a synophone."

Just as I wrote that, I wondered if there really were something called a synophone. I found only this reference on the internets, from here:

To my understanding, heterographs are words that have different meanings, different spellings, but sound the same. Synophones are words that have different meanings, different spellings, & sound similar but not the same.

So, ball & bawl would be heterographs, while ball & bell would be synophones.

This is what I get for trying to be sarcastic & make things up. Enjoy your rum balls!

Halloween Thoughts

It's Halloween night, I am beat, it's been a while since kids came to trick & treat. Guess it's nearly over.

What I did for Halloween is made three radio shows - Self Help Radio's was new, it was about ghost towns (not so scary); the Dickenbock Report was a kind of repeat from a show I did about nightmares ten years ago; & Corporate Standardized Programming was three hours of Halloween songs. I'd share them but Halloween is nearly over.

Also I bought some candy & my wife bought some Halloween bags & I put the candy in the bags & I sat in front of my house & handed them out tonight. I had thirty-six bags to give & have fourteen left. We didn't get a lot of kids. I think it might be because I didn't use the Next Door dot com "treat map." I'm always a little leery of interacting with that app.

In case you're wondering, no, I didn't dress up. I'm not a dressing up kind of guy. I don't think I've dressed up for Halloween since I was a kid. At least nothing elaborate. The kids were very cute tonight. A lot of Harry Potter. One kid, probably in middle school, was dressed as Jason from Friday The 13th. I said, "Take a bag but don't kill me!" He laughed at this.

Here's something I don't think I've seen before: parents following their kids while holding glasses of wine. It's a Portland thing I guess.

Kinda glad the holiday is over. People around her sure love it though. I need to work on another radio show!

Two Halloween Things

Happy All Hallow's Eve Eve! Here are two Self Help Radio related Halloween things:

1) Almost all of the Halloween shows I've ever done for Self Help Radio are archived on the Self Help Radio Halloween page. The most recent one - ghost towns - is on the front page. It wasn't all that scary though. Maybe I won't add it to the Halloween page later.

2) Tonight's episode of Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO - airing midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in town & online at kboo.fm - will be a mishmash of Halloween songs. You don't have to stay up late to listen tho - it'll be at the show's page in time for tomorrow.

Now I need to get ready for Halloween! I am making little treat bags for the trick-or-treaters. If they come by. They hardly ever do but in case they do.

Self Help Radio 102623: Halloween 2023 - Ghost Towns!

Can you imagine an actual ghost visited me on the Halloween show? It's true! For the purposes of this Halloween post! Because the songs about ghost towns I found weren't as scary as I'd hoped. There were a few things that were scary, tho. I promise. I'm a big fan of Halloween so I wouldn't ruin it by not having some scares in the show. Did I mention a ghost visited me?!?

This week's show is at the top of the Self Help Radio web page. It's not too hard to listen but you need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to do so. Lots of songs about ghost towns - all called "ghost town" as you'll see - & some surprises. That is listed below.

Remember, I have a lot more Halloween shows if you're so inclined. They are here.

One more link: Help out Freeform Portland during out Fall Fundraiser! Go to this webpage & make a donation or even better become a Friend Of Freeform. It's what makes my dumb show possible.

Self Help Radio Halloween 2023 Ghost Town Show

"Ghost Town" Don Cherry _The Best Of Don Cherry: The Columbia & Monument Years_

"Ghost Town" Meic Stevens _Outlander_

introduction, definition, & our resident cinephile Chuck calls

"Ghost Town" C.W. McCall _Black Bear Road_

"Ghost Town" The Younghearts _All About Love_

"Ghost Town" The Specials _Ghost Town_

interview with ghost hunter Victor Stillman

"Ghost Town" Angelic Upstarts _2,000,000 Voices_

"Ghost Town" Michael Martin Murphey _Tonight We Ride_

"Ghost Town" Gemini _Geminism_

a ghost interrupts!

"Ghost Town" Chrome _Alien Soundtracks II_

"Ghost Town" The Coctails _Hip Hip Hooray!_

"Ghost Town" Kurt Vile _Smoke Ring For My Halo_

our resident cinephile Chuck calls again

"Ghost Town" Pierce Pettis _While The Serpent Lies Sleeping_

"Ghost Town" Sarah Shook & The Devil _Seven_

"Ghost Town" DJ Shadow _The Mountain Will Fall_

interview with ghost town realtor Vincent Starr

"Ghost Town" The Vaccines _Come Of Age_

"Ghost Town" The World _First World Record_

"Ghost Town" The Shed Project _Ghost Town_

conclusion, goodbye, & our resident cinephile Chuck calls one last time

"Ghost Town" Mikey General _Confidence In Jah Self_

"Ghost Town" The Hot 8 Brass Band _The Life & Times Of..._

"Ghost Town" D'Arkestra _Ghost Town_

Whither Halloween 2023 - Ghost Towns?

(A building in the ghost town of Golden, OR - from the Wikipedia)

Here's the thing - I do a Halloween show every year. I don't know why I can't just play "The Monster Mash" & that Ministry song like everyone else but I can't. Instead I feel the need to explore a different Halloween-related theme each year. I have covered black cats, clowns, death, Frankenstein, ghosts, graveyards, haunted houses, hell, monsters, mummies, nightmares, pumpkins, spiders, vampires, voodoo, werewolves, witches, & zombies. One show I called "Attack Of The Self Help Radio" & featured songs using the phrasal beginning "attack of the..." I have complained about running out of Halloween-related themes before.

This year I chanced upon the idea of a show about ghost towns. Ghost towns are pretty scary, right? It turns out not so much. The songs about ghost towns can be more wistful & sad. But there were so many! & I found some guests who found ghosts in ghost towns! & it's probably not a theme that anyone will explore this Halloween - so ghost towns it is today!

Also it's the Fall Fundraiser - perhaps you can help out by becoming a Friend Of Freeform. The station is worthy of your investment.

Self Help Radio's Halloween 2023 show - about ghost towns - airs this afternoon from noon to 2pm on 90.3+98.3 fm here in town & online everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org. Tune in for some thrills - & maybe just a few chills!

Preface To Halloween 2023 - Ghost Towns: Oregon Ghost Towns

(The banner for visit oregon dot com.)

On the site whose banner I display above, it tells us:

Oregon is historic for its record number of Ghost Towns

Did you know that Oregon has the highest number of ghost towns in the country? Thus far, 200 Oregonian ghost towns have been counted! Some of these abandoned communities are completely starved of human interaction while others have an extremely small population with 30 people or less.

During the pandemic, I daydreamed about visiting some nearby ghost towns. Alas, we had an elderly dog who didn't enjoy car rides & there was always the trepidation of visiting places where people thoughts masks were irritants. (Not the ghost towns, the service stations & other places we'd have to stop at.) It's interesting that I didn't think then of doing a Halloween show about ghost towns. But the idea of visiting ghost towns has always been at the back of my mind.

Now I get to visit them on the air!

Halloween Time Again

(A snapshot of the page)

Since Halloween is right around the corner, I wanted to remind you that pretty much every Halloween show I've ever done is available for listening over at the Self Help Radio Halloween Page.

From spiders to pumpkins, from "attack of the" to Frankenstein, from voodoo to black cats, from clowns to death, from mummies to hell, from nightmares to graveyards, from haunted houses to werewolves, from witches to zombies, from monsters to vampires - there are eighteen (18!) Halloween shows I've done. I wonder if they're any good?

& there'll be another Halloween show this week! What luck!

Psychic Cinema

(image from the IMDb)

You didn't have to be psychic to appreciate last week's episode of Self Help Radio which was about psychics. But maybe you predicted our resident cinephile Chuck would come by & talk to us about films featuring psychics. If you haven't listened already, then before your brain explodes please go so do at the Self Help Radio website. Then check out the helpful links Chuck has supplied!

He has two YouTube playlists of films & trailers: part one is here; part two is here.

Chuck did something quite interesting this time around - he says, "I uploaded a few scenes I filmed with my phone, which I have put on the playlist, but they can all be found on my channel."

Here is his Letterboxd list. Here are his Letterboxd reviews.

Here is the IMDb list of films available to stream for free.

Here is Chuck's IMDb keyword list.

Chuck says:

I posted about some of the films on Bluesky (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead an give me a follow. I usually follow back).

He adds:

I tweeted about some of the films on Twitter (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead an give me a follow. I usually follow back).

Here are the direct links for Chuck: Twitter,  Bluesky, & Substack. He adds, "I may write an article about them on Substack, someday, but in the meantime you can subscribe for free. (I have started using the chat section for early announcements about the letterboxd lists for upcoming shows.)"

Chuck foresees that you will have some incredible psychic film experiences!

Self Help Radio 102023: Psychics

(Original photo by Tom Magliery, available here)

Oh hey look a show about psychics that really has only a handful of songs about psychics but instead has songs with titles like "Psychic [Thing]" & someone texted I should've played "If You Could Read My Mind" by Gordon Lightfoot & I responded "What if I want to do a show about reading minds?" & they responded "Isn't it this show?" & this is why Self Help Radio is mostly dumb.

But I did have someone talking about psychics in movies & I talked to two psychics & to someone who hunts psychics so let's just say on average there was maybe 50% content about psychics so it wasn't quite so bad although I really probably should've looked for songs about mind-reading & prognostication I don't know why I didn't maybe I'm just lazy.

Anyhoosle the show is available now at the Self Help Radio website. Remember you'll need a username & password to access the files - I'd try SHR & selfhelp. Everything that happened on the show is below. But you already knew that. Didn't you?

Self Help Radio Psychics Show

"I Am The Psychic" Art Brut _Brilliant! Tragic!_

"Psychic" Christine Lavin _Please Don't Make Me Too Happy_

introduction & definitions

"Psykick Dancehall" The Fall _Dragnet_

"Psychic" The Goon Sax _Mirror II_

"Too Much Yang Energy" Nib The Psychic Fiend _Sonic Damn Nation_

"Psychic Hotline" Gwen McCrae _Psychic Hot Line_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by!

"Psychic Trauma" Sad13 _No Cover: Carpark's 21st Anniversary Covers Comp_

"Psychic" Sam Baker _Pretty World_

"Chant With Me!" Nib The Psychic Fiend _Sonic Damn Nation_

"Psychic Future" Kid Congo & The Pink Monkey Birds _La Araña Es La Vida_

interview with psychic sidekick Brett Kirkland

"Psychic Beginner" Johnny Marr _The Messenger_

"Psychic Friends" Papercuts _Life Among The Savages_

"Psychic Friends" Space Ghost _Yeah, Whatever..._

"Psykick Espionage" Joanna Gruesome _Peanut Butter_

"Psychic Love" Prissy Clerks _Bruise Or Be Bruised_

interview with psychic hunter Barrett Kohl

"Psychic Visions" Electric Six _Heartbeats & Brainwaves_

"You're No Psychic!" Nib The Psychic Field _Sonic Damn Nation_

"Call A Psychic" Orion _After Dark 4_

"Psychic Rainbow" Anna Oxygen _This Is An Exercise_

interview with psychic & author Bobby Kaufman

"Psychic" Probe _User Friendly_

"Is This For Real?" Nib The Psychic Fiend _Sonic Damn Nation_

"Psychic Attack" The Radiation Flowers _The Radiation Flowers_

"Psykick Damage" School Damage _A To X_

"Psychic Dance Routine" Scowl _Psychic Dance Routine_

conclusion & goodbye

"Psychic Self Defense" Brief Candles _They Live We Sleep_

"Psychic Whore" East River Pipe _Goodbye California_

"Psychic Tapes" Mutators _Secret Life_

Whither Psychics?

(Charles Xavier in the Pstandard Psychic Pstance, from here.)

You know what we need right now? We need a psychic to tell me why the heck Self Help Radio this week is a show about psychics. Maybe a psychic placed the idea in my mind. If so, they're probably waiting to take credit once they've heard the show. & maybe they'll be disappointed.

Because the show will actually be less about psychics & more about psychic things. & not necessarily psychic gifts - for example I had enough songs about ESP to make me think, hm, maybe one day I can do an ESP show, so I shouldn't play them now. I do that a lot. I prefer the specific to the general. Even though I will probably never do an ESP show.

But it does not take a mind-reader to know that Self Help Radio will be about psychic things today on Freeform Portland. Indeed, the time is predictable - because it's regularly scheduled - noon to 2pm. In Portland you can tune in - with your radio, then I guess your mind - at 90.3+98.3fm & everywhere you can listen online at Freeform Portland dot org.

Hmm, though the future is cloudy, I predict no one will tune in. (I mean, you know, because no one ever does.)

Preface To Psychics: Fads & Fallacies

(image from the book's Goodreads page)

When I was a kid I was hungry for magic. I read comics books & sci-fi, I watched movies like Godzilla & Planet Of The Apes, I was enamored by anything Star Trek & anything Star Wars. Mainly I just wanted there to be something, anything supernatural in the world. I did dumb things to try to achieve it. You might want to read my story about trying to astral project. Time & again, I failed to find the magic & mystery I so desperately wanted. Sometimes I was told I didn't believe enough. Sometimes I was told I doubted too much. Most of the time it seemed like someone was lying to me about the magic they claimed to have, or to have seen.

Psychics were probably the least of this - reading a mind wasn't nearly as fun as using the Force to lift an X-Wing Fighter out of a swamp - but boy I would've loved telekinesis or remote viewing. I did love Professor X & Marvel Girl of the X-Men. It never occurred to me that some people took these claims seriously in a scientific context. & that's where Martin Gardner comes in.

As happened so very often, my dear friend Russell lent me my first Martin Gardner book. It was the one above. Although the title may seem a bit pejorative, the book itself examined the claims people made about supernatural events & reported testing about them. Gardner's column in The Skeptical Inquirer would perhaps do this more thoroughly - in one column, Gardner was so even-handed I thought he actually believe in ESP! - but this book switched my disappointment into a keener understand of our world.

& it is a world of magic & mystery - just not the kind I was hoping for. I'm all right with that. Though man it would've been fun to astral project.

The October 17th I Was On A Ferris Wheel

On October 17, 2017, my wife & I went to the State Fair Of Texas. It was almost certainly the first time she was there. It was the first time I had been there probably since a field trip in elementary school. So - the first time in forty years? There were absolutely a larger number of deep-fried things there now than four decades previous - but alas there were not vegan-friendly, so I couldn't try any of them.

We did ride the Ferris Wheel though. Should I capitalize Ferris Wheel? Does the Texas State Fair Ferris Wheel have a name? Yes, it's the Texas Star Ferris Wheel. Here is a picture I took on it:

Here is another picture:

The wife & I shared the Texas Star Ferris Wheel with a couple a bit older than us who had no interest in engaging with us at all. Which was fine because I discovered something about myself on that Ferris Wheel, & it was this: I am actually quite afraid of heights.

It was a weird thing to discover because I had previous enjoyed Ferris Wheels as well as roller coasters & those "rides" that lift you up & then drop you. But something was different about this experience, & I know what it was - they stop the Ferris Wheel to let new people on, so for a moment (or moments) (sometimes long moments) you're just sitting up there, very high up, in a quite precarious position. I remember becoming overly focused on how easily I could fall from there. & it took all the strength I had to not freak out.

My wife didn't notice anything unusual about me, so I was I guess successful. I didn't tell her about how I almost lost it until a while later. But one thing I did know is that was the last time I would ever be on a Ferris Wheel again. Six years ago on this day.

Beggin' For Help

(image from here)

Much like a celestial event, pledge drives/membership drives/fund drives/fundraisers - they're called by different things at each station - have lined up in such a way that at the three stations where I deejay, the next few weeks will have me pitching (as they call begging on the radio) for two of them at a time in the same week for a couple of weeks.

So I thought why don't I just consolidate here on the web page. It's pretty obvious I'm not very good at this, right?

KBOO's is called the "Fresh Off The Vine Fall Drive" & it lasts until the 28th. I've been begging every Tuesday morning - sorry, pitching - for the last few weeks. How effective I've been I dunno.  But if you'd like to help, this is the proper web location to visit.

XRAY's drive - simply the Fall Drive -started today I think. It ends on the 27th. They are a little more savvy than KBOO - they have made a special page for the Dickenbock Report - if you would like to donate for that show. Otherwise, to help the station out in general, the web place to be is here.

Freeform Portland's Fundraiser starts October 23 (so in a week) & lasts until November 10th. We haven't started pushing anything yet, but you can of course donate & also become a Friend Of Freeform where you always can.

I love all the stations at which I deejay & volunteer & am sad I'm not a very good fundraiser. I hope the volunteering I do contributes in a way that perhaps offsets my inability to raise money. But at the very least I want you to know that all these stations deserve any financial support you can give. They are Good Places To Be & Good Places To Listen To. You should be Glad They Exist. I sure am.

Self Help Radio 101223: Medicine

(Original image here)

A spoonful of Self Help Radio, I am told, is far worse than any medicine. Oh dear how awful must an episode about medicine go down? I should attach one of those poison control stickers to this show!

Nonetheless, unregulated by any government agency (unless you count the FCC), Self Help Radio dispersed medicinal programming this week & would do it again if only my dealer would call me back. I always forget that when your dealer asks for your "honest opinion," he doesn't really want that. Darn.

You can take your medicine whenever you'd like at the Self Help Radio web page. Tell the pharmacist your date of birth & use the username SHR & the password selfhelp. If you need details, they're below.

It's only two hours long! No way you'd overdose!

Self Help Radio Medicine Show

"Medicine County" Holly Golightly & The Brokeoffs _Medicine County_

"Medicine Man" Syl Sylvain & The Teardrops _Syl Sylvain & The Teardrops_

"Papa's Medicine Show" Bobbie Gentry _Local Gentry_

introduction & definitions

"Medicine" Rumblefish _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 6_

"Medicine" Hummingbirds _Va Va Voom_

"Medication" The Standells _Dirty Water_

"Music Is Medicine (feat. Shungudzo)" Captain Planet _Sounds Like Home_

interview with matchmaker Jennilee Bowen

"The End Of Medicine" The New Pornographers _Electric Version_

"Medicinals" PJ Harvey _The Hope Six Demolition Project_

"Hide The Medicine" The Psychedelic Furs _Made Of Rain_

"Medicine" The Sundays _Blind_

interview with Pastor Jeff Burrows

"Medicine" Christmas _Vortex_

"New Medication" No Frills _Downward Dog_

"Drunk Medicine" Sons & Daughters _Dance Me In_

"Medicine Show" Big Audio Dynamite _This Is Big Audio Dynamite_

interview with Dr. Jack Broad

"A Spoonful Of Sugar" Julie Andrews _Walt Disney's Mary Poppins (Original Cast Sound Track)_

"Medicine Man" Bobby McFerrin _Medicine Music_

"Medicine" Love Positions _Billiepeebup_

"Extra Medication" The Manhattan Love Suicides _The Manhattan Love Suicides_

interview with health advocate Jay Bellman

"Medicine" Momma _Household Name_

"Faster Than The Medicine" Lael Neale _Star Eaters Delight_

"The Medicine Show" The Dream Syndicate _Medicine Show_

conclusion & goodbye

"Edison's Medicine" In Letter Form _Fracture. Repair. Repeat._

"Fast Food Medicine" Tsunami _The Heart's Tremelo_

Whither Medicine?

(Creaky old meme whose origins are lost to time; found here)

If there's one thing the average person doesn't want any insight into, it's the mind of someone like me. By "someone like me," I don't necessarily mean "deejay." Or "deejay who does a radio show based on themes." Or anything like that. I mean, "Someone who becomes unnecessarily fixated on something that can ruin their entire day if they don't learn to focus it somehow." Is this a form of OCD? Is it akin to anxiety? Should I be talking to a professional about it? I don't have any answers, I just have this thing I do.

Which is this: one day something reminded me of Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues." It's not a song that I have memorized in toto. If I had to recite it I might get 70% of the lines right but I'd almost certainly get them out of order. But the song popped into my head one day while I was feeding my animals & I somehow got stuck on the first lines, "Johnny's in the basement, mixing up the medicine." This took many forms - like, reminding myself how terrible a rhyme "government" is for "medicine" in a song where there's brilliant rhymes like "the phone's tapped anyway Maggie says that many say" - but mainly I focused on the "mixing up the medicine." I wasn't all that interested in what the word medicine means in the song, if Dylan's referring to drugs (he is) or what, I just like the phrase "mixing up the medicine." It made me think of mortars & pestles, of homemade pharmacies with bubbling beakers, bunsen burners aflame. Needing somewhere to put all this, I thought, "What would a radio show about medicine be like?"

What it wouldn't be like would be too broad. I didn't want to have specific medications. I wanted it to be about the idea of medicine - from whatever uses one could find. & I probably wouldn't play the song that started it all. But I could tell you about it!

Self Help Radio's show about medicine airs today, Thursday, from noon to 2pm, on 90.3+98.3fm in Portland & online everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org. It is not a substitution for actual medical advice. As if you needed to know that.

Preface To Medicine: A Funny

By Hugo Tamzarian. His comics live now here (unlike the url at the bottom of the comic, which no longer exists).

Church Use Only

In general, my wife lets me pick the routes we take when we walk our dogs. She only asks that they be a certain length (so she can get her "steps") & that they're "pretty." I am not always certain about her aesthetic sense so for example recently I had to adjust one of our walks because she decided the area we were walking through was "dirty." Dirty is the opposite of pretty in this case. Anyway, I like to have a couple different circuits to take so they don't get too boring but that wasn't necessarily the case in Kentucky, where the picture above was taken on this day in 2015.

What makes this picture interesting to me is that it was taken on a dogwalk but not on one of our regular dogwalks. In fact, we had to detour quite a bit to get to where this picture was taken. Where was it taken? Let's see if I can find the general area on Guggle Merps. This is the closest I can find:

That's the driveway into Redeemer Community Church. I don't really wanna link to it, but you can find it pretty easily if that's something you need. The dumpster would be kind of straight ahead & on the right. We must've strayed from our regular path that day because it was a particularly nice day. It was also a Saturday, so perhaps we had more time to walk. In any event, I had never walked behind that church before, so I did. & I found the funny sign & the discarded tires. Because churches always have tires they need to get rid of.

It's sad to note that two of the dogs that walked with us that day are no longer with us. Luckily the other two still are & they walk more in Portland than they did in Lexington - we go on two dogwalks a day instead of one. Alas, October 10 in Portland was not a particularly nice day. We got rained on during both walks. & I don't think there's a nearby church whose parking lot we might walk through on either of the walks I took today. Hm.

Books About Painters

(images from Goodreads)

If you happened upon last week's show - which was our 21st anniversary show (!) - you heard our favorite librarian Carole stop by to talk about books about painters. (Painters was the theme - a theme from 2006 revisited for the anniversary.) If you didn't listen, & I'm sure you've got a good reason for it, but you should do so now - go to the Self Help Radio web page & listen! Then, come back here to find out more information about the books Carole talked about.

What were those books? They were:

Pigskins To Paintbrushes: The Story Of Football-Playing Artist Ernie Barnes by Don Tate

Out Of This World: The Surreal Art Of Leonora Carrington by Michelle Markel & Amanda Hall

&

Rosa's Animals: The Story Of Rosa Bonheur & Her Painting Menagerie by Maryann Macdonald

Follow the links! Grow your library! Hope Carole returns soon!

Self Help Radio 110523: Painters Painting Revisited (The 21st Anniversary Show)

That was fun! For me, I mean. I don't know if you had any fun. But it's fun for me to have fun at something I've been doing for 21 years now. Not that I sometimes don't have fun doing it. It wasn't as much fun recording the show as doing it live. But I'll keep doing it as long as it's fun. For me. I can't imagine it would be much fun for anyone else.

It is true I am a tad bit proud of myself for having all the songs be about particular artists this time around. How I wish I could've done that in 2006! But better late than never. If only people would write more songs about artists! I am surprised so many I would expect to have not.

Oh well, enough rambling, I have a twenty-second year to get to. You can listen to the show now & anytime at the Self Help Radio website. Please note username & password. That's SHR & selfhelp. Lots of things happened & they are listed below!

Self Help Radio 21st Anniversary Show

"Michelangelo" Slapp Happy _Slapp Happy_

"Max Ernst" Moving Parts _Wrong Conclusion_

"I Like Cezanne" Neil Innes _Recollections 2_

introduction & a snippet from the original 2006 show

"Rembrandt" Fay Lovsky _Cinema_

"Vincent Van Gogh" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _Rockin' & Romance_

"Velázquez & I" Would-Be-Goods _The Camera Loves Me_

"Salvador Dali's Garden Party" Television Personalities _Privilege_

interview with old KVRX friend Chris Kane

"Trouble With Classicists" Lou Reed & John Cale _Songs For Drella_

"Picasso's Mandolin" Guy Clark _Boats To Build_

"Mark Rothko Song" Dar Williams _The Honesty Room_

"MC Escher" Momus _The Little Red Songbook_

interview with NPR programmer Cody Rockefeller

"Jasper Johns" Comet Gain _Tigertown Pictures_

"Leonardo" Pierce Pettis _Great Big World_

"Painting By Chagall" The Weepies _Say I Am You_

"Ballad Of Winslow Homer" The Dimes _The King Can Drink The Harbour Dry_

interview with painting restorer paint remover Craig Richards

"Song For Frida Kahlo" Tinpan Orange _The Bottom Of The Lake_

"Ode To Banksy" Jesca Hoop _The House That Jack Built_

"Marcel Duchamp" Pete Bentham & The Dinner Ladies _I Heart Here_

"Francis Bacon Slashed The Canvas" MC Lars _Lars Attacks!_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by!

"Jackson Pollock" Soft Cough _Soft Cough_

"Mondrian" Turtlenecked _Pure Plush Bone Cage_

"Botticelli's Venus" Bellows _Next Of Kin_

"O'Keeffe" Tracyanne & Danny _Tracyanne & Danny_

conclusion + goodbye plus a surprise phone call from Chuck!

"The Ruben's Room" The King Of Luxembourg _Royal Bastard_

"Modigliani (Lost In Your Eyes)" Book Of Love _Book Of Love_

Whither Painters Painting Revisited? (Hint: It's The 21st Anniversary Show!)

(image from here)

This week is the 21st anniversary of Self Help Radio. The show began on October 9, 2002, on a station called KOOP ("co-op") in Austin, Texas. Since the 9th of October 2023 is on a Monday, & since my show is on a Thursday, I thought I'd go ahead & celebrate the anniversary a bit early. Because you wouldn't hear it if I celebrated it alone in my room next Monday.

Since the show's sixth anniversary, it has been the tradition to revisit a theme on the anniversary. Generally I don't revisit themes, though the longer this show has gone on, the more likely I will do it if asked. One of the nice things about revisiting a theme is that I can perhaps find music I missed the first time around. I can also refine the theme somewhat - perhaps reinterpret it. That's fun!

On May 3, 2006, Self Help Radio has the theme "Painters, Painting, & Painters Painting." My original idea was to have a show just about painters. Each song would be about a different famous painter. Things didn't work out as planned, so I included songs about painting & about a generic painter & even songs about artists. But there was always a part of me that was a bit disappointed. If only I had the chance to find more songs about specific artists!

Guess what? That's what is going to happen today! Each song on today's anniversary show will be about an artist & even that was a bit hard - I had to skip repeated songs about a particular artist. Both Andy Warhol & Vincent Van Gogh, for example, have multiple songs about them.

Plus, I'll have guests that talk about painters - & also some people from my radio past.

The proof is in the broadcast! Listen today from noon to 2pm on 90.3+98.3fm in Portland & online everywhere at the Freeform Portland website. It won't be a masterpiece or anything. Just an anniversary show!

Preface To The 21st Anniversary Show: Longevity

(image from here)

It can be said with absolute modesty that I had no idea I would still be doing a radio show called Self help Radio twenty-one years after it began. I actually didn't think I would still be doing it in 2006, which is when the show with the theme I am revisiting (more on that tomorrow) aired. In fact, I bought myself one of those "books" one stored CDs in back in the day & after the show I would collect the songs I played & burned them to a CD to keep them, a sure sign I didn't know how long this would last. What did those things hold, fifty CDs? There are more weeks in a year!

It would make the woman I married sad, perhaps, to hear this, but I didn't even know how long we'd be together. In October 2002, we had been dating for about a year. My longest relationship up to that point was barely three years long. My track record was terrible.

Same with radio. I had done radio from mid-1994 to mid-1999 at KVRX, & had waited a year to volunteer at KOOP. By the time I started Self Help Radio on October 9, 2002, I hadn't had a regular radio show in three years. Nothing felt permanent, nothing seemed assured.

Which is not to say it's a surprise that I've been doing this for twenty-one years. Around the time I left Austin, I was determined to keep doing the show wherever I ended up, & so I have. Around 2013 or 2014 I started inviting people onto the show to do the silly interviews & that breathed new life into the show. So if you had asked me in 2009, or 2014, did I think I'd make it 21 years, I probably would've said, "God I hope not" because I would think I was being funny but if asked to be honest, I would've said, "Sure, why not?"

On anniversary shows I revisit old themes. It's in the hopes of improving on them. I will explain why I am revisiting this year's particular theme tomorrow.

Officially It's October 9, 2002

(image from here)

Well! The website Best Of Date chooses two horrific events from October 9, 2022, when the feel-good news story is right under their noses! Self Help Radio debuted on KOOP Austin at 2pm on October 9, 2002. No one was shot. No one was executed. But also no one was warned. Who knew it would go on this long? Not me!

Yes, it's October 3, but in general I like to my anniversary shows before the date rather than after. I hope you understand.

"20 years, 11 months, & 26 days have passed since October 9th, 2002," says the site. It really doesn't feel that long. Certainly not those extra 26 days!

More anniversary musings tomorrow.

The Corridors & Hallways Of Film

(image from the IMDb)

Neither a corridor nor a hallway is a good place to see a movie, but maybe these films recommended by the show's resident cinephile Chuck are exceptions to the rule?  Wait.  Did you not hear his segment on this week's show?  My golly, please go listen at the Self Help Radio website. After you've listened, supplement your experience with the following links Chuck supplied:

Here is his YouTube playlist of films, trailers, & clips.
Chuck's note: Most of the clips are the first from an available playlist for a film on the list & may not be related to the subject.

Here is his Letterboxd list. Here are his Letterboxd reviews.

Chuck's note: (Click on the "read notes" icon - I have put links to the youtube videos, where the film may be streaming for free, & the occasional bit of other information.)

Here is the IMDb list of films available to stream for free.

Here are Chuck's IMDb keyword lists - one for corridors, one for hallways.

Chuck says:

I posted about some of the films on Bluesky (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead an give me a follow. I usually follow back).

He adds:

I tweeted about some of the films on Twitter (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead an give me a follow. I usually follow back).

Direct links for Chuck: Twitter,  Bluesky, & Substack.

Is it safe to come out of the corridor yet?

Self Help Radio 092823: Corridors & Hallways

You may not know this but I tried to do this show from a corridor but the corridor has a guard who wanted my ID! & I tried to do this show from a hallway but the hallways was full of boxes of books! Plus both were heavily trafficked. There would have been a lot of interruptions. Would some of them have been comical? Probably. Would some of them have led to a kerfuffle? Almost certainly. Would I be in jail right now because my wife has told me she will not bail me out the next time I start a fight in a hallway or corridor? Oh yes indeed. So it was all for the best. Though I would've preferred to do a show about corridors & hallways in a hallway or corridor. We can't always have everything we want!

If you want to listen to this show, though, you can do so now or whenever (you should listen to it in a corridor or hallway tho) at the Self Help Radio website. Remember to use the username SHR & also the password selfhelp to access the file. Lots of stuff happened on the show. Lots of music was played. That is all detailed below.

The hallways pictured above was a podiatrist in Fort Worth. They didn't want us to exit the way we came in. I left them a Self Help Radio rug.

Self Help Radio Corridors & Hallways show

"Dark Shadows & Empty Hallways" Tammy St. John _Ripples Vol. 4: Uptown Girls & Big City Boys_

"Corridor Of Dreams" Cleaners From Venus _Midnight Cleaners_

"Hallways Of My Mind" The Dells _The Dells Musical Menu/Always Together_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"The Sixties Corridor" The Meanies _No Sleep 'Til Bedtime 7" EP_

"Standing In The Hallway" The Bangles _Different Light_

"Corridors" The House Of Love _Audience With The Mind_

"Hallway" Gorky's Zygotic Mynci _Spanish Dance Troupe_

"Endless Corridor" Siglo XX _Answer_

interview with hobo Major Sterling

"Hallway" Marmoset _Tea Tornado_

"Ant Corridor" Robyn Hitchcock _Luxor_

"1997, Passing In The Hallway" Martha _Courting Strong_

"Corridors" B-Movie _Climate Of Fear_

"Hallways & Doors (feat. Eligh & Grouch)" DJ Drez _The Capture Of Sound_

interview with realtor Morton Smith

"Shock Corridor" Saint Etienne _Finisterre_

"Cat In The Hallway" Tiny Ruins _Some Were Meant For Sea_

"Take A Hard Look Down The Long Corridor" Sonny & The Sunsets _Hairdressers From Heaven_

"Hallways" Islands _A Sleep & A Forgetting_

"Corridor" Death Lens _No Luck_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by!

"Hallway Symphony" Hamilton, Joe Frank, & Reynolds _Hallway Symphony_

"The Corridors Of Power" Dean Wareham _I Have Nothing To Say To The Mayor Of L.A._

"Hotel Hallway" Like A Motorcycle _Dead Broke_

"Sun Corridor" Norse Horse _Hey Girl, Hey: A Polyvinyl Sampler_

"In The Hallway" Ducktails _Jersey Devil_

conclusion & goodbye

"Red Velvet Corridor" Swans _Soundtracks For The Blind_

"Bare Hallways" Hiroki Tanaka _Kaigo Kioku Kyoku_

Whither Corridors & Hallways?

(image from here)

All right. Let's get this out of the way. This is a rare "double theme" for Self Help Radio not necessarily because hallways & corridors can be (although aren't) synonyms, but because - & I know you suspected this - I couldn't find enough songs about one or the other so I had to combine the two. I just want you to know that there are plenty of songs about hallways & plenty of songs about corridors to fill a show each. I just didn't like enough songs of either kind to fill two hours of the show I wanted to do. I hope you understand.

The idea for this show came from a song that I won't play on the show. In the David Bowie song "Teenage Wildlife" (I recently listened to Scary Monsters for the millionth time) he has a part where he sings,

You'll take me aside, and say

"Well, David, what shall I do? They wait for me in the hallway"

I'll say "Don't ask me, I don't know any hallways"

In addition to noting David Bowie being massively unhelpful to a sad teenager, I also was intrigued by the word "hallway." It led me to trying to find songs about hallways. When there weren't enough of them, I also sought out songs about corridors. & that's where this theme came from.

Why won't I play the Bowie song? It's seven minutes long & that's really the only mention of hallways. It's a great tune but not really part of the theme.

Hey! The show is on today, Thursday the 28th, from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland. You can listen at 90.3+98.3fm in town & online everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org.

Preface To Corridors & Hallways: Seeing Ghosts In Hallways

Above is a picture of a beautiful cat that is no longer with us. Her name was Bronte & I have written about her all over this blog, but you can read my memorial to her here. It is very hard to believe she's been gone for over two years now.

Dwelling on my lost children is not something I want to do, at least not in public. I carry them in my heart & I have pictures of them nearby so I can think of them, but I don't need to share those memories & that pain with everyone. I am only sharing this because it's something that comes to mind when I think of hallways.

That was our hallway in Kentucky. Some nights I would wake up for some reason - maybe to go get a drink of water - & who should be there in the hallway but Bronte. Sometimes when she was there the dogs refused to go past her, even though she wasn't mean at all. She was just a bit intimidating I guess. I would laugh & ask her what she was doing there & pick her up & kiss her. Which wasn't what she wanted at all. She just wanted to sit in the hall.

This post is titled "seeing ghosts in hallways" but I don't really see Bronte's ghost anywhere. Our hallway here in Portland isn't nearly big enough for ghosts. But I am glad the show this week is encouraging me to think about her. & how much I miss her. & how glad I was she found us & spent most of her life with us.

September 26, 1329

(credit Wikipedia)

Normally, when I don't have anything important to talk about - well - I never have anything important to talk about - I should instead say - when I don't have anything about my radio show to talk about - I look at pictures I've taken on that day over the past few years & share one or two of them, usually with an anecdote. None of the pictures I've taken on September 26 - not counting the ones I took today, which I haven't looked at - were worthy of a story. So I went to Wikipedia to see if anyone famous or interesting was born today. It turns out there were lots - look here - but it intrigued me that the second name on the "births" list - pre-1600 CE - was a woman named Anne Of Bavaria. It's always fascinating to me that we know the actual birthday of anyone that long ago, but Anne's story - Wikipedia calls her a "German queen consort" - seemed to strike some kind of weird chord in me.

She was royalty, a member of the House Of Wittelsbach, a dynastic German line that existed from the 11th till the 19th century. The current inbred British royals are descended from someone from this house. They've had money & lands for a long time.  So yeah, on this day in 1329, little Anne was born. Whatever she did for two decades is unknown, although I'm sure she lived quite well.

When she was nineteen, she married Holy Roman Emperor Charles IV. He was about thirteen years older than she was, which may have seemed weirder then than now, & she was his second wife. His first wife had died the year before. From what I can gather, the important thing was getting Chuck an heir. He was from Prague, although Wikipedia says he was the first King Of Bohemia to be Holy Roman Emperor, so I'm not sure if I know enough about Prague & Bohemia in the fourteenth century to suss out what connections there were. I do wonder if Anne & Chuck spoke the same language. Wikipedia tells us her Czech name was Anna Falcká.

Anne's life from then on must've been both exhilarating & then sad. She was Queen Of Rome & Queen Of Bohemia. She & Charles had a son, in 1350, whom they named Wenceslaus, probably after the song. (Just kidding. The song didn't exist yet. But he was named after the saint who features in the song.) At last, an heir! But Wenceslaus died just a year later. & then, in 1353, at the age of 23, Anna herself died. A trajectory probably no different from the poorer folk of her day, but certainly she lived better than they did. Here are some facts that are mentioned in this article:

A story has it that she was heartbroken & never recovered after her only child’s death, but according to another version of the events her untimely passing was the result of a fall from a horse.

Oh! Also! A weird postscript courtesy the Wikipedia:

Asteroid 100733 Annafalcká, discovered by Czech astronomer Miloš Tichý at the Kleť Observatory in 1998, was named in her memory.

Isn't it fascinating that she featured prominently enough in someone's memory to name a frickin' celestial body after them?

So anyway - happy birthday to her? You didn't live long, you had no children, but there's an asteroid named after you, so - well done?

The 1968 Project, Part Five

(The front page of the 1968 releases section of Rate Your Music. The top four haven't changed.)

As I explained in a previous post, I have another dumb thing I'm doing which has occasionally found its way onto the radio. Please read the previous post to learn about the 1968 Project. I recently finished the fifth installment which, by the way, means I've listened to about 99 records now that were released in 1968. It's been a lot of fun.

That episode is both at the Self Help Radio website & on the KBOO website. You have to scroll for the episode on the show's website, but you can download it if you want; the KBOO show is a direct link.

Anyway. Just thought I'd tell you. I'll do another one after KBOO's Fall Drive ends.

Self Help Radio 092123: Get Out

(original image here)

We got out! We're free! After years of being trapped in a dumb radio show we are liberated! All it took was a show that enabled us to get out!

The record of our escape is two hours long. Perhaps it will educate or edify others in similar radio predicaments. You are encouraged to learn what you can so perhaps listen more than once.

The program waits for you at the Self Help Radio website. Please use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access. Details of the program are below.

Sadly, we were so unaccustomed to freedom that we returned to the radio. We simply couldn't live in the outside world. Alas!

Self Help Radio Get Out Show

"Get Out (& Let Me Cry)" Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes _The Jamie/Guyden Story_

"Get Out Of My Life" Marva Whitney _It's My Thing_

"Get Out Of My Life Woman" Lee Dorsey _Cracking The Cosimo Code (60s New Orleans R&B & Soul)_

introduction & definitions

"We Gotta Get Out Of This Place" The Animals _Animal Tracks_

"Get Out" The Popguns _Love Junky_

"Get Up & Get Out" Iggy Pop _Soldier_

"Get Out Of My House" Kate Bush _The Dreaming_

interview with inventor Harrison Baines

"Get Out Of My Dream" The Clouds _The Sound Of Leamington Spa Volume 4_

"Get Out Of The City" Ivy _Apartment Life_

"Get Out Of My Mirror" Felt _Me & A Monkey On The Moon_

"Let's Get Out Of This Country" Camera Obscura _Let's Get Out Of This Country_

"Get Out!" The Blue Aeroplanes _Broken & Mended_

interview with screenwriter Braydon Peele

"I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive" Rosie Flores _The Executioner's Last Songs Volume 1_

"Can't Get Out Of Bed" The Charlatans _Up To Our Hips_

"Get Outta Town!" Lucky Soul _The Great Unwanted_

"Get Out" Dave Okumu & The 7 Generations _I Came From Love_

actor Horace Bentley interrupts!

"Get In Get Out" The Angry Orts _The Angry Orts_

"Get Out" The Goon Sax _We're Not Talking_

"Get Out Of The Way (So I Can Get Back To My Life)" Diplomats Of Solid Sound _What Goes Around Comes Around_

"Get Out Of That Rut" The Satyrs _Don't Be Surprised_

interview with self-help writer Hector Bridges

"Get Out Of The Way" The Uncalled For _Mindrocker_

"Get Out" Maddy Prior & The Girls _Under The Covers_

"Get Up Get Out" Rosebuds _Night Of The Furies_

"Get Out" Kitbuilders _The Sound Of Cologne Vol. 1_

conclusion & goodbye

"Get Out & Get Under The Moon" Helen Kane _Helen Kane Great Original Performances_

"Get Out Of Town" Anita O'Day with Billy May _Swings Cole Porter_

"Get Out Of My House" Miya Folick _Roach_

Whither Get Out?

(image from here)

The phrase "get out" - an imperative sentence - is mostly considered a warning. Whether trying to keep you from possible harm in an emergency situation - "Get out of here! The place is on fire!" - or said in anger that might result in physical altercation - "Get out of my room & leave me alone!" - the phrase is hardly ever said in situations that are friendly, jovial, amicable.

Unless of course it's said in disbelief, like "No way!" An example might be: "I met the stars of Barbie today." "Get out!" One supposes it's short for "get out of here!" which is said in the sense of "I think you are lying & if you are lying you probably should leave." But in a more exaggerated, friendly way.

It's mainly the first use you'll hear on today's Self Help Radio. It's not really meant to be an instruction; for example, if you are listening in your house, you're not really supposed to get out of your house & cease listening. The same for in your car. It's best if you don't think of the phrase as said to you - it's probably never a good idea to think a song is actually directing you to do something. The songwriters & performers didn't have you in particular in mind at the time of composition & recording. Sorry if this is the first time you've heard this.

This show is especially good, in fact, for those who never get out at all. As is most of radio. If you're always listening to the radio, you're mainly getting out of other obligations, such as work, family, friendship. I'm not encouraging that but I appreciate it.

Listen to Self Help Radio's "Get Out" show today on Freeform Portland, which is on the air from noon to 2pm on 90.3+98.3fm in Portland, & online at the Freeform Portland website. At the very least, if someone asks you what you did today, you can say, "Oh I did get out for a while this afternoon."

Preface To Get Out: It's Not About That Movie

(image from IMDb)

Don't me wrong, I liked the movie. & in fact we'll mention the movie once or twice, how could we not? But the show won't be about the movie. It would be kind of weird if it was, wouldn't it? I'm not even sure where I'd start. I won't brainstorm here because I don't want to spoil the movie. It's one of those movies with a surprise ending of a sort.

Anyway, I would imagine anyone hearing that the theme is "get out" might be reminded of the movie. I mean, I was reminded of the movie. So I figured it's important to clear my throat & say, "It's not about that movie." Without leaving the impression that if it were about the movie, that would be a bad thing. It wouldn't be. In fact, if it were about the movie, it would probably be way more creative that my show could ever possibly be.

Not to overexplain or anything. The movie was a huge hit, see, & groundbreaking - I believe Jordan Peele was the first African-American to win an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. It made him an instant star & it grossed a quarter million dollars. In contrast, I have few listeners on a community radio station that is run by volunteers & has very little money. Maybe I should do a radio show about the movie, encouraging its fans & fans of Jordan Peele in general to throw some of their horror movie dollars our way.

Alas, that's not the case. It's not about the movie. It's in a tiny corner of the shadow of the movie because of the movie's towering presence. Apparently blocking the sun in this metaphor. But you know. I just wanted to make that clear.

This blog post, though. It's very obviously about the movie.

Three Memories Of September 19

Looking through my old pictures, I discovered that September 19 appears to be a day when, at least in three of the past nine years, I've done something. Like, on this day in 2014, I went to Cincinnati to watch dachshunds race:

It was for Oktoberfest. I had the most fun walking around downtown Cincinnati taking pictures.

Or a year later - my dog Pauline got skunked right before we traveled to Fort Wayne, Indiana:

She's getting a bath here.

It's a little embarrassing now to mention why we went to Fort Wayne - we went to see Bill Maher - a person who's now so obviously odious that it's a wonder it took me so long to notice - but I do remember that he had no opener, he did about forty-five minutes, & at times he was so very unfunny that he fell back on his schtick of pretending that we were too sensitive for his bad jokes. As we left, we saw this guy:

& I remember thinking it would probably have been more fun to watch him instead of Maher.

(We brought the dogs & got lucky because the hotel had windows we could open - Pauline was still very skunky.)

Three years ago on this date, we didn't go anywhere -  it was the height of the pandemic - but I did notice two things happening in our neighborhood:

One neighbor was celebrating breakfast day - we weren't invited.

& Jill was having her bridal shower outside. It was a lovely day & Jill seemed fine. They said hello to the dogs.

On this September 19, I made food & two friends came over. One of them brought wine from their mother's vineyard - it was very sweet & very strong. I don't think I took any pictures though.

Thinking Better Of Old Disappointments

(image by Luc Fuller, found here)

There's always so much forgiving to do. It can be exhausting, both forgiving & being forgiven, Like watering the bushes in the front of the house, you know it's probably necessary but sometimes it feels like a waste of time.

There's always so much disappointment. That's almost certainly related to expectation. I'm hardly ever disappointed by anything that I have no expectations about. Expectations of? Expectations for?

Is that the basis of Buddhism? I wish my friend Russell were here, he'd laugh at that question & then talk thoughtfully about it. I don't even know what I'd do with a thoughtful discussion at this moment.

On the dog walk tonight it got cold, & it's always interesting when it gets cold again in Portland because you kind of expect it but it's still a bit startling. Maybe I spend too much time in the past. It's not safer there but at least I know what's going to happen. What always happens. What has already happened.

We walked several blocks to our car without incident & some friends of ours told us someone threw a bicycle at them as they existed a restaurant. We love this city, they can't wait to leave. How much is bad fortune do you ever wonder?