Echoes Of Movies

(image from the IMDb)

On this week's show, our resident Cinephile Chuck showed up to talk about movies featuring echoes - & also caves, which sometimes feature echoes.  Certainly you can listen to the show at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website, but perhaps these links will help you find movies about echoes & caves should you need them in your life.

Chuck talks about some of the films he's watching on his Twitter account.

Here is Chuck's Youtube playlist with trailers & full films to watch.

Chuck reviews the films he has seen here.

You can find a list of films about echoes or caves where you can stream in places other than Youtune on this IMDb list.

Chuck uses the IMDb for keyword searches: here's the one for echo & here's the one for cave.

Almost certainly there is something for you to watch & enjoy.  Please do so!

Self Help Radio 120721: Echoes

(Original image here.)*

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before.  Ha ha!  Start out with a joke!  A joke about echoes!  You get it?  An echo is a sound you've heard before!  It's a copy of a sound!  & when someone wants to pretend to tell an original joke, they'll say, "Stop me if you think you've heard this one before"!

It's important to get the cleverness out of the way before one gets down to the business of talking about a radio show.  A radio show about echoes.  Which was what this week's Self Help Radio was about.  Lots of songs about echoes plus discussions about echos - in music, in biology, in psychology.  & there were a few echo puns.  How could there not be?

You can listen to the show now or anytime really - it might be fun to play it loud against a wall & hear its echo! - at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  If you chose the latter, remember you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.  All the stuff that happened on the show - music & interviews - is listed below.

There was something else I was going to say about echoes but I can't remember...  Oh well, it'll come back to me.  I'm sorry!  I'm sorry!

Self Help Radio Echoes Show

"Little Sir Echo" Bebe Daniels & Ben Lyon (With The Three Ginx) _Songs The Bonzo Dog Band Taught Us: A Pre-History Of The Bonzos_

"Good Morning, Mr. Echo" Margaret Whiting _There Goes That Song Again! The Songbook & The Legacy_

"I Talk To My Echo" The Beltones _Spotlite On Hull Records, Volume 1_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"Echo" The Mekons _The Mekons Rock 'N' Roll_

"Echo" Mecca Normal _Jarred Up_

"Echo" Kristin Hersh _Echo_

"Echo" Jessica Boudreaux _No Fury_

"Echo (feat. Dum Dum Girls)" Merchandise _Red Sun_

interview with biologist & echolocation specialist Dr. Chad Heron

"Echoes Of My Mind" The New Birth _Comin' From All Ends_

"Echoes" Lord & The Flies _Mindrocker_

"Echoes Round The Sun" Paul Weller _22 Dreams_

"Echoes Of Songs (For Trish Keenan)" Simian Ghost _The Veil_

"The Echoes Fade" Poeme Electronique _The Echoes Fade_

interview with psychologist & echolalia specialist Dr. Bernard Cave

"Echolalia" Dead Can Dance _The Serpent's Egg_

"Echolalia" The Crookes _Soapbox_

"Echo Sonata for Two Unfriendly Groups Of Instruments" PDQ Bach _Report From Hoople: P.D.Q. Bach On The Air_

"Echo Or Encore" Eleanor Friedberger _Personal Record_

"Echoing Days" Monnone Alone _Together At Last_

interview with musician & producer Rodney "Kid Echo" Spitz

"Echo Park" The Brooklyn Bridge _The Second Brooklyn Bridge_

"Echo Beach" Martha & The Muffins _Metro Music_

"Echo Bay" Ohbijou _Metal Meets_

"Constellations Echo Lanes" The Clientele _Music For The Age Of Miracles_

"The Echoing Green" Erland & The Carnival _Erland & The Carnival_

the show's resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about films featuring echoes

"Echo In My Heart" The Stereos _Pittsburgh's Greatest Hits Volume XII_

"I Hear An Echo" The Challengers _The Spinners – Their Early Years_

"We Three (My Echo, My Shadow, & Me)" Ella Fitzgerald _Jukebox Ella: The Complete Verve Singles Vol. 1_

"The Echo" The Epsilons _The Complete Stax/Volt Soul Singles, Vol. 2: 1968-1971_

"Echo" Bruce Haack _The Electronic Album For Children_

"Echo In Your Mind" Susan Christie _Paint A Lady_

End Of The Year Membership Drive pitching & pledge drive horror stories

"Echoplay" Sad Lovers & Giants _Epic Garden Music_

"Echoes To You" Dead Moon _Dead Moon Night_

"Echo Poem" The Firesign Theatre _Dear Friends_

"Echo's Answer" Broadcast _The Noise Made By People_

"Echo Of Love" CSS _La Liberación_

"Echoing My Name" Hinds _I Don't Run_

conclusion & goodbye

"Diagonally Talking Echo" Dustin Wong _Dreams Say, View, Create, Shadow Leads_

"Little Miss Echo" Raymond Scott _Soothing Sounds For Baby, Vol. 3_

*"crop circle - echoes" by oddsock is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Whither Echoes?

(I found this image somewhere on Tumblr a while ago. Sorry I can't remember where!)

This week's show features songs about echoes although I can't promise it features songs that prominently use echo.  I thought about that - I thought it might be fun - until I discovered that there were so many frickin' songs about echoes.  But it makes sense, right?  Music echoes, voices echo, sounds echo.  We hear & remember echoes.  Echoes are good metaphorical fodder for the usual subject matter of songs.

This is a case where I woefully underestimated the amount of songs that a subject might have.  At some point the idea occurred to me, & I think I thought it might be a bit of a challenge finding songs about echoes versus finding songs with echoes.  A couple hundred songs later, I have to admit I was wrong.  Luckily I believe I found some pretty good tunes!

The show is tonight.  Lots of songs & lots of guests!  Midnight to 3am on 90.7fm KBOO in Portland & online at kboo.fm.  & give me props for not trying to use dumb phony echo effects in my writing here.  It took all my strength to resist doing so.

Preface To Echoes: Yodeling

(Go here to learn to yodel.)

It occurred to me too late in the planning of this week's Self Help Radio, which will have the theme "echoes," that I might have spent a little time featuring the vocal style called "yodeling," which the dictionary defines as "practicing a form of singing or calling marked by rapid alternation between the normal voice & falsetto."

Now, I know nothing about the origin of yodeling & this is something of a guess, but it seems to me that it's somewhat imitative of an echo, & of course you associate it with wide-open spaces, like the Alps or the plains (where cowboys might be singing), places where echoes are natural.  Again, I have done little research - well, absolutely none - so this is all a guess.  But it does mean there'll be no yodeling on the show tomorrow night.  Sorry.  There were lots of echo songs to get through!

It does give me the opportunity to tell my favorite knock knock joke though:

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Little old lady!

Little old lady who?
Say! I didn't know you could yodel!

Birthday Books

(all images from Goodreads)

On this past week's episode of Self Help Radio, which was a birthday show full of birthday songs - it's something I do annually for my wife, whose birthday was this week, but she doesn't mind sharing it with anyone who has had or will have a birthday this year - we had a visit from our librarian friend Carole, who shared with us three birthday books.  Here's what they were & how to find them:

She talked about Lulu & The Brontosaurus by Judith Viorst.

& she talked about Keep An Eye On Ivy by Barroux.

& she talked about Scaredy Squirrel Has A Birthday Party by Mélanie Watt.

What did she say about these books?  Well, friend, you're just going to have to listen.  You'll find the show at both the Self Help Radio website & also at its page on the KBOO website.  Hers is the first interview.  Go listen!  & then read a book or two!

Just A Post About Popcorn

(image from here.)

Currently I have two radio shows, one which this blog is ostensibly about, & the other is a very similar show called "The Dickenbock Report," which is on Freeform Portland.  This week's show was about popcorn because it was on a "national day" called The Business Of Popping Corn Day.  This almost certainly is not really a thing, since there are only a couple of places online that mention it, & the hashtag was not readily available on Twitter.  But since I had previously done an episode about popcorn on Self Help Radio, I figured I could recycle some of the content & make it easy on myself.

(The playlist for the earlier show is here.  That show aired in 2007 on KOOP.  I haven't posted this week's show on the Self Help Radio website but you can see the playlist at the Dickenbock Report link above.  There are lots of similarities.  But I did play some different tunes.)

One of the things I did was subject the poor listener to many different versions of the song "Popcorn" made famous by the band Hot Butter in 1972 & written by Gershon Kingsley.  Once you hear the song it sticks in your head for the rest of the day.  It's been in my head for seven days now.  I had about a dozen versions of it & did not try to find any more.  But the song has its own website, popcorn-song.com.  It's made me think there's enough space on the world wide web for websites about every song.  Not that I have the time to make such web pages.  But visit the site, you'll dig its "oh yeah web pages used to look like that" vibe.  & marvel at all the different versions of the song.  I hope it made Gershon Kingsley very rich.

This was a case (in my opinion) where I think I liked re-making a show, although I have never actually listened to the 2007 show.  & I don't really want to.  But I record the Dickenbock shows on the weekend & listen to them on Thursdays so I can live tweet them & I think I enjoyed my popcorn mix (not so much my airbreaks) more than I've enjoyed some of my recent shows.  & to be fair, I don't really enjoy my shows.  I like making them more than listening to them.  If that makes any sense.

It's probably perverse to talk about the show before I have put it on my website.  I'll do it next week.  I just had popcorn on my mind tonight.

Self Help Radio 113021: Magda's Birthday Show 2021

(Original image here.*)

Well.  Here it is.  The eighteenth (18th) birthday show I have made for the woman I love.  We've been together for twenty years - & married for thirteen (!) of those - & somehow I've managed to find enough birthday songs - recordings I have not previously played - to fill many hours of radio.  Every year it seems like I just won't be able to do it - writing birthday songs is not an industry like Christmas songs - but this year was not my Waterloo.  I will live to have another birthday show.

That being said, except for the awful in-studio version of the Beatles' "Birthday," I think it went all right.  I will remind you that it's the End Of The Year Membership Drive at KBOO so your support would be greatly appreciated - donate here!  But my wife would rather you get her a birthday present.  I will not however share her outrageous wish list with you.  No one needs that many fancy ladders.

You can listen to the show now, or on your birthday, or on anyone's birthday, at both the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  Should you choose the latter, make sure you remember the username (SHR) & the password (selfhelp) or you won't be able to listen.  So much happens during the show!  What is played & what happens is detailed below.

Happy Birthday!

Self Help Radio Magda's Birthday Show 2021

"Opening Presents" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Happy Happy Birthday Baby (Acappella)" The Derbys _Music City Vocal Groups (Greasy Love Songs Of Teenage Romance, Regret, Hope, & Despair)_

"Birthday Morning" The Association _Birthday_

introduction & explanations

"Surprise Birthday Party" Vernon Oxford _Keeper Of The Flame_

"Last Night I Dreamed My Birthday" Luke Winslow-King _Everlasting Arms_

"Pin The Tail On The Donkey" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Birthday Cake" Green Hands _Random Things, Purple Rings_

"Birthday" Ben & Amy _Science_

our librarian friend Carole stops by to talk about birthday books

"The Birthday Present II" Loudon Wainwright III _Little Ship_

"Birthday Card" Kate Sikora _Just Enough Space_

"The Gossip Game" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Birthday Night" Black _Wonderful Life_

"Everybody's Birthday" Hana Vu _Public Storage_

interview with columnist Hank Doherty about his favorite birthday party

"My Birthday" The Cucumbers _Total Vegitility_

"The Birthday Game" The Centimeters _The Lifetime Achievement Awards_

"Ice Cream & Cake" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Birthday" The Chloes _Vanish_

"Birthday" Nectar _Knocking At The Door_

interview with Jim Scott, author of A Birthday Every Day Of The Year

"Birthday @ The Mall" Snog _Lullabies For The Lithium Age_

"Best Friend's Birthday" Wolfgang Flür _Eloquence: The Complete Works_

"Cat & Mouse" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Happy Birthday, Baby" Elbow Bones & The Racketeers _New York At Dawn_

"Birthdays" MF Robots _Break The Wall_

Captain McCheese & Ned Dry perform "Birthday" live in the studio

"Happy Birthday" The Rebeatles Project _Get Back_

"Birthday Song" Prabir Trio _Haanji_

"Birthday" Luby Sparks _Birthday_

"Simon Says" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Birthday" Pom Poko _Birthday_

"Birthday" Deaf Wish _Lithium Zion_

A few words about Giving Tuesday & the End Of The Year Membership Drive

"Birthday" Kay There House Builder _Insanely Ugly & Incredibly Untalented_

"Birthday Cake" Slothrust _The Pact_

"Birthday" Violent Mae _Kid_

"My Day" Rosemary Rice _Songs & Games For A Happy Birthday Party_

"Birthday Card" Mini Golf _I Need This To Make Sense_

"Birthday" My Idea _That's My Idea_

conclusion & goodbye

"21st Birthday" The Von Bondies _We Are Kamikazes Aiming Straight For Your Heart_

"19 Birthdays" Quinn Walker _Lion Land_

"Birthdays" Sarah Tolley _3 AM On The Bathroom Floor_

"Birthdays" Yani Martinelli _Astral_

*"Teddy-Bear-Birthday-Cake-Severed-Head" by eevblog is licensed under CC BY 2.0

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2021?

(image found on this blog)

Here's the deal: every year around December 1, which is my wife's birthday, I make a radio show in which I play birthday songs & talk to guests about birthday matters.  One time she picked all the songs, but I realized that if I let her do that every year, she'd pick the same songs.  So I strive to find new birthday songs because, although I will play different versions of a song (like the Beatles' "Birthday"), I will only play particular recordings once.  This has made it increasingly difficult to find birthday tunes.

Also I won't play birthday songs I don't like.  As I've mentioned before, it would be far easier to program these shows if I just played songs about the theme that were easiest to find.  There are almost as many birthday songs as there are Christmas songs.  But just as I don't like most Christmas songs, I have rejected many Christmas songs.  When you get a radio show, you can play the music you like.  I have a radio show so I can play the music I like.

What happens next?  Listen to KBOO tonight from midnight to 3am!  Three hours of birthday songs, three interviews, a possible in-studio performance, & maybe more?  It'll be on 90.7 fm & online at kboo.fm!  & as I always say & will doubtless say this evening:

This show is for you if it's your birthday, if you had a birthday this year, or if you will have a birthday this year.  & if you know someone who's had a birthday or will have a birthday this year - or if today's their birthday! - let them know!  There's a radio show for their birthday tonight!

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2021: What Haven't I Already Said About Birthdays?

Me & the Birthday Girl, Nine Years Ago

For almost as long as I've done Self Help Radio, I've dedicated a birthday show to the love of my life around the time of her birthday.  This will be my seventeenth installment.  Every year I complain about how it's becoming increasingly hard to find new birthday songs.  It's still true, but I won't complain this year.  I mean, usually I have like two hours; for the first show, it was one hour, & for a few years, it was ninety minutes.  But this year, like last year, I have three freakin' hours.  That's just awful!

Ahem.  Sorry.  There'll be enough songs.  She acts as if she's not really incredibly pleased by it all.  Hours & hours of birthday songs, just for her?

I mean, I'll still need to get her something else.  But despite how unbelievably hard it gets to find birthday songs I like every damn year, it's still fun to do.  & probably works in my favor in our lopsided relationship.

On The Way To 183

Sometime in 2014 I started taking digital pictures with a digital camera that my wife had.  We'd used it before, on vacations or special occasions, like animals' birthdays or whatever, but since we went on dog walks daily, & there were things that amused me, I started taking pictures & then sharing them, first on Facebook, then on Tumblr.  I don't do Instagram, I can't imagine having one more social media platform to worry about.  & yes, I know Instagram is all about the pictures & Tumblr is played out.  It turns out I'm a creature of habit.

The pictures I take show what a creature of habit I am.  This image is from Fort Worth, taken on this day three years ago.  At the time, I didn't know it would be my last fall in Texas.  It was a Tuesday, which was probably the day I did the shopping.  It was also the day I did my show on KNON, so I was on the road a lot that day.  But that was living in Texas.  In a car two hours a day.  No matter what.

Anyway, I took this picture thinking it might be interesting (it's not, not in the way I thought it might be) but it's only really interesting to me.  It's the way I drove home from Costco.  I went that way because the way I had done previously became a clusterfuck thanks to road maintenance.  Also a constant with living in Texas.  Everyone's on the road so the roads have to be widened, repaired, etc.

The picture is looking west so I'm driving north, to a frontage road, which will take me to the road I was avoiding near the Costco.  The highways are part of the reason it was a clusterfuck.  Many Texas drivers wait until the last possible moment to get into the lane that's the onramp to the highway.  & many Texas drivers drive huge-ass SUVs that will crush my little Prius without a second thought.

The point I wanted to make is that this uninteresting picture serves as a sort of page from my photo diary.  I haven't thought about that trip, that weekly trip I made, in many months.  It seems longer ago than just three years.  But they say a picture is worth a thousand words.  Microsoft word tells me this is under four hundred.

Films At The Airport

(image from the IMDb)

On this week's show (listen here or here), our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by to talk about films featuring airports.  He had a very long list to choose from, but managed to chat about his favorites.

You can follow what he watched on his Twitter feed, @robotmonkeycat.  You can read what he thought about some of the movies over at Letterboxd.

He made a Youtube playlist for you to peruse, & he also provided a list of films you can stream elsewhere for free.

All that work & he hasn't been on a plane in over twenty years!  In any event, we hope there's a film about airports you find that you enjoy at least as much as you enjoy being in an airport.  Wait.

Self Help Radio 112321: Airports

As a poor person, I spent way more time in my twenties in bus stations than airports.  I kind of preferred the selection of humanity on display there as opposed to the obviously more affluent people you see in airports.  I made an observation about a recent trip (in May), where some guy, forced to wear a mask at the D/FW Airport, chose one that said, in big white letters on black, "Thanks, China."  I told my wife, "In a bus station, I wouldn't have to deal with that kind of person - I'd just be forced to sit next to someone actually suffering from Covid."

But of course buses take even longer than driving oneself; & there are no train routes of note in Texas, where I lived most of my life.  So planes have been exceedingly helpful.  I've traveled to Australia & to Europe - I'm not sure I'd have enjoyed the bus rides there.  (Or, you know, the long journeys by ship.)

& yet, airports are not the sort of place people enjoy being at, are they.  Luckily they're the sort of place artists & musicians like to make songs about, & comedians like to complain about.  Their works make up the bulk of the show, with silly interviews & a discussion about movies sprinkled throughout.  If it's not the blistering exposé of airport culture you hoped for, perhaps it's diverting enough the spend some time listening.

The show is both at the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  Going to the show's website means you'll need a username & a password, which are SHR & selfhelp.  All the things that happen on the show are mentioned below.

Flight delayed?!?  Guess I'll go hang out at the airport bar.

-----

Self Help Radio Airports Show

"Airport Blues" Walter Roberts _Yet More Mellow Cats 'N' Kittens (Hot R&B & Cool Blues 1945-1951)_

"L.A. International Airport" Susan Raye _The Best Of Susan Raye_

"All The Time In Airports" The Handsome Family _Last Days Of Wonder_

introduction & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"Airport" Pataphysics _My Phone's About To Die_

"The Echoing Airports" The One AM Radio _This Too Will Pass_

"Airport Security" George Carlin _You Are All Diseased_

"Airport People" Mindbenders _With Woman In Mind_

"She Lives In An Airport" Guided By Voices _The Bears For Lunch_

interview with TSA Agent Earl Warren

"Meet Me At The Airport" Baader Meinhof _Baader Meinhof_

"All The Nations Airports" Archers Of Loaf _All The Nations Airports_

"Airport Hell (Part One)" Henry Rollins _Think Tank_

"Airport" Wet Willie _Wet Willie II_

"Airport Song" Magna Carta _Seasons_

interview with airport vendor Harry Levitt

"Hammered In An Airport" Spray _Ambiguous Poems About Death_

"To Live & Die In The Airport Lounge" My Teenage Stride _Ears Like Golden Bats_

"Airport Hell (Part Two)" Henry Rollins _Think Tank_

"Airport Bar" Martin Courtney _Many Moons_

"Airport Bars" Landlines _Problems 24/7_

Chuck stops by to talk about movies featuring airports

"Airport" Rosie Tucker _Sucker Supreme_

"Airport" The Motors _Approved By The Motors_

"Airport" Scott & Charlene's Wedding _Delivered EP_

"Airport Security (Part 1)" Lewis Black _The End Of The Universe_

"The Biggest Airport In The World" Moe Bandy _Hank Williams, You Wrote My Life_

interview with sociologist Harvey Clutchinterview with marine biologist Herbert Schmecken

"Gabriel In The Airport" The French _Local Information_

"Michael & Heather At The Baggage Claim" Fountains Of Wayne _Traffic & Weather_

"Airport Security (Part 2)" Lewis Black _The End Of The Universe_

"Her Ocean Airport" California Snow Story _Some Other Places_

"The Great Airport Mystery" Joey Paige _Voyages Into... Pop-Psych (Vol. 2)_

a brief history of airports

"Heathrow Or Deathrow" The Dears _Orchestral Pop Noir Romantique_

"Aeroplanes (Herdla Int. Airport)" Professor Pez _Hordaland_

"Tokio Airport (feat. China)" Metal Boys _Tokio Airport_

"Airport Fishing Rod: The Dawn Of Airline Safety" Coyle & Sharpe _Audio Visionaries_

"Orly" Jacques Brel _Infiniment_

conclusion & goodbye

"Afterglow" Momus _Voyager_

"Airport's Air" Analog 2nd Camera _Shining Sun_

"The City, The Airport" Loney Dear _Sologne_

"Airport Love" Betty Please _Airport Love 7"_

Whither Airports?

Tonight's Self Help Radio is about airports.  Because everyone loves the airport, right?  No, that's can't be it...

It may be about airports because this is the beginning of the season when everyone's at an airport some time or another.  But wait, Self Help Radio is hardly ever that topical.  So maybe not.

Could it be that Self Help Radio has magical memories of airports?  Almost certainly not!

Here's what's true: Self Help Radio really, really likes the song "Hammered In An Airport" by Spray & thought airports would be a good theme after listening to it a few times.  Yep.  That tracks.

Tune in to KBOO tonight at 90.7fm in Portland or online at kboo.fm everywhere to hear three hours of songs about airports, interviews with airport denizens, & some comedians complaining about airports.

Dude, it can't be worse than spending time in an actual airport!

Preface To Airports: My First Airports

(image of the Frankfurt airport in 1974 from here)

Though I grew up quite poor, I had the extraordinary good luck to leave the country & visit West Germany in 1974.  This was because my mother was German & I believe that her parents paid for it.  My mother took me, my little brother Chris, & my brother Ralph with us.  Of my six siblings only my sister Pat - who hated to fly - never visited Germany.  My brother Eddie was born there, & I am not sure he's ever been back.

Whether we left out of DFW or Love Field, I don't know.  I have no memory of the airport out of which we flew.  My mother always insisted on flying to Germany on Lufthansa, & my guess would be they'd only operate out of an international airport like DFW.  But a cursory internet search tells me nothing.

What I do remember was the Frankfurt Airport.  I came to it both exhausted & disillusioned.  I was six years old, & I was very excited to fly.  Mostly I wanted to see above the clouds, to see the angels I was certain lived there.  Angels were always portrayed on top of clouds.  I wasn't entirely sure how they felt about planes flying through their homes, but I hoped one would wave to me.  How sad to discover there were no angels on the clouds.  I wish I could say it was the beginning of my abandonment of believing in supernatural things but nah - I still loved fantasy & comics & really wanted to believe in magic.

The plane flight was very long, especially for a six-year-old, & very stuffy, as my mother smoked & we were in the smoking section.  & I was fidgety & bored.  I probably slept a bit.  I had no real idea what awaited me.

What awaited me was fucking terrifying.  As a child I had no idea what terrorism was & of course I knew nothing about the Munich Olympics.  But I was frightened out of my skull at the number of soldiers with rifles at the airport.  They were everywhere.  & the place smelled weird - more earthy.  & of course I couldn't understand what anyone was saying.  When my mother's family approached me - my grandparents happy to see their grandchildren, my aunt & uncle happy to meet their nephews - they embraced me & I discovered that my German relatives had no idea what deodorant was.  They were very sweaty & they smelled it.  I did what I generally did when I was six & was overwhelmed - I started to cry.

Not just sad tears, I was bawling.  I was a crybaby of the worst kind.  & my German relatives were alarmed.  & there was lots of chatter in that weird language & I heard my mother say, "Maybe his legs hurt."  & suddenly these strange, smelly people are massaging my legs which means their hands are all over me which naturally terrified me more.

This did not endear me to my German relatives, & although I think my grandparents might have liked me if they got to know me, my uncle never did.  When I visited again, in 1992, he was mostly cold to me.

Those were my first two airports.  It would be twelve years - when I was 18 - when I would board a plane, from Dallas Love Field to Austin's Robert Mueller Airport.  The latter no longer exists.  I was going down to Austin for orientation the summer before my Freshman year in college.  Both airports were tiny.  Neither were frightening.

Bags Of Leaves

Sometimes it's exactly as advertised.  A photo of bags of leaves.  Taken on this day six years ago in Lexington, Kentucky.

Were they my leaves?  I don't believe they were.  We lived on a street with a creek that ran down the middle of it.  I don't see the creek.  It's not my street.

Almost certainly it's a street we walked down daily during our dog walks.  I can't be sure which one.  But I could admire the neatness of the bagged leaves.  They're posed as though for a military inspection.

Fall was a big deal in Lexington, & the trees really let loose.  So this isn't overkill.  & I suspect it wasn't the only time there were bags of leaves in front of that house.

Socks Books

Our favorite librarian Carole came on the show this week to talk about books featuring socks & she highlighted three books (well, one is a series).  They were:

Odd Socks by Michelle Robinson with illustrations by Rebecca Ashdown.

The Sock Monkey series by Cece Bell.

& Sock by Kim Adrian.

These are the books Carole talked about on the show.  Listen to the show if you want to know her thoughts!  & you best believe she loves socks.  Holy smokes she loves socks!

Self Help Radio 11121: Socks

(Original image here.*)

Finally, a show about that most underappreciated garment, the sock.  We wear them, we often buy colorful ones we might never show to anyone, with sports logos or copyrighted characters, or we opt for cheap ones that wear out too soon but are tantalizingly inexpensive, or we are fancy & proud with our socks.  Or all of these.  & more!  It's about damn time someone had a radio show about socks.

It might as well be Self Help Radio, then.  Three hours of songs about socks as well as some surprisingly pertinent interviews with individuals well-acquainted with socks.  For those who love socks, it's a show that will - confusingly - knock your socks off.  We could also say the show "socks it to you," but the two uses of the word are not related.  So we won't say that.

You can listen to the show any time you like at either the KBOO website or at the show's website (or both, although it'll probably be mismatched like some socks are).  There is a username/password combo needed at the latter site, & those are SHR/selfhelp.  What happens on the show as well as the songs played.

Hop to it!  It's a show about socks!

Self Help Radio Sock Show

"Socks" King Missile _King Missile_

"Sox" Splodgenessabounds _Splodgenessabounds_

"Socks" Imagination Movers _10-4_

introduction & definitions

"My Socks" Nick Cope _My Socks_

"Knee Socks" Arctic Monkeys _AM_

"Odd Socks" Les Barker _Up The Creek Without A Poodle_

"Clean Socks" Sports _All Of Something_

"Pretty Plaid Skirt (& Long Black Sox)" The Night Riders _Sticks & Stones: The Sue Records Story_

our librarian friend Carole talks about her socks

"Your Socks Don't Match (wth Bing Crosby)" Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five _Louis Jordan & His Tympany Five_

"Knee Socks" April March _Chrominance Decoder_

"Herbs, Good Hygiene, & Socks" Lovage _Music To Make Love To Your Old Lady By_

"Socks, Drugs, & Rock 'n' Roll" Buffalo Daughter _New Rock_

"Red Travelin' Socks" Malcolm Middleton _Waxing Gibbous_

our librarian friend Carole talks about books featuring socks

"White Socks" Brice _What Happens In Spacecamp Stays In Spacecamp_

"Pink Socks Rock" The Fairies Band _EP Three_

"Knee Socks" The Ideals _Come On Let's Go: The Pye International Story_

"Einstein Never Wore Socks" The Fugs _The Real Woodstock Festival_

"Magic In My Socks" Al Kooper _You Never Know Who Your Friends Are_

interview with former sock factory employee Chester Flange

"How The World Works" Bo Burnham _Inside (The Songs)_

"Socks & A Smile" Fighting Gravity _Shishskabob_

"Fox In Socks" Marvin Miller _Fox In Socks/Green Eggs & Ham_

"Socks On" MC Frontalot _Final Boss_

"Baby Doll Socks" The Centimeters _The Lifetime Achievement Awards_

interview with Ben Chamberlain of the Portland Sock Puppet Theater

"Knock My Socks Off" Lyres _A Promise Is A Promise_

"Mod Socks" The Grasshoppers _Winning Sides # 2 (17 Sixties Punkers From The USA!)_

"Socks" Ponce _Ponce_ 

"Socks" Liza Anne _Fine But Dying_

"Darn My Socks" Prince Rubin & Jimmy _Juma Sultan's Aboriginal Music Society: Whispers From The Archive_

interview with listener Archie Delacourt, who doesn't like socks

"Bobby Sox Blues" Roosevelt Sykes _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order, Volume 8_

"Little Miss Bobby Sox" Bonnie Lou _Friction Heat (1953-58)_

"White Bobby Socks" Wally Lewis _Chills & Fever: The Dot Records Story_

"Bobby Sox Rock" Babe Blountt _Burning Frets (The Rhythm, The Blues, The Hot Guitar)_

"Bobby Sox To Stockings" Frankie Avalon _The Fabulous Frankie Avalon_

"Bobby-Sox Baby" Slim Harpo _Rocks_

a brief introduction to sock hops

"Sock Hop" Carol Jarvis _East Coast Teen Party Volume 7_

"Sock Hop" The Gorman Sisters _Rock Baby Rock It! - Record Hop Rock 'N' Roll_

"Sock Hop" Sharptones _Over The Top Doo Wops Vol. 1: Let The Old Folks Talk_

"Rock-A-Sock-A-Hop" Jimmy Crain _Rock-A-Sock-A-Hop_

"The Sock" The Sharpees _The One-Derful! Collection: One-Derful! Records_

"Sock Hop" All-Time Quarterback _All-Time Quarterback_

conclusion & goodbye

"Socks" Satellite Skin _Maybe Next Weekend Will Be Better_

"Sockman" The Lipstick Killers _Do The Pop! Redux Part One_

"Put Your Socks On Mama" Brak _Space Ghost's Musical Bar-B-Que_

"Sock Drawer" Ari Roar _Calm Down_

"What The World Needs (Is A New Pair Of Socks)" Spectrum _Milesago_

* "Winter sock drawer" by thriftyknitter is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 

Whither Socks (Again)?

(Image from here - read why they're wearing mismatched socks!)

One week ago in this very blog I promised you a show about socks.  Then a minor emergency with one of my elderly animals waylaid me.  I do not regret postponing the sock show - my animals are the most important thing in my life, & this includes my wife, who is an animal too you know - but I am glad it didn't go anywhere because tonight all those socks will come to life!

Before the show, I consulted a sock expert who told me she couldn't really think of one song about socks.  I have three hours' worth tonight!  Plus experts about socks, sock puppets, & sock manufacturing - & in fairness someone who doesn't care for socks.  Yes, we allow differing opinions on the show - we're not right wing media!

So please forgive last week's absence & tune in tonight from midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland - online at kboo.fm - for a show about socks.  I'll sock it to ya!

Preface To Socks (Again): Sock Drawer

(image from here)

There might not be time for a poem by Sir Archibald Von Poesy on tomorrow's show. but he's asked me to share one he's written for the show anyway.  So here it is.

Do you know what I abhor?  A messy sock drawer.
If I've not said it heretofore, let me close that open door.
Not to cause an uproar - but an unkempt sock drawer?
Why not leave them on the floor, or hang them on a sycamore?

Your stockings you ignore, what else don't you care for?
You may think me a bore, a clumsy troubadour,
On a mission to restore some outdated esprit de corps.
But it's you I adore, in all your splendor!
For the sake of love I implore - I am begging on all fours! - 

Is it too much to ask for a tidy sock drawer?

Origami/Candy

(image + instructions here)

You don't have to tell me that it went unnoticed that there was not a new episode of Self Help Radio this week.  The show has disappeared without a trace from many radio stations, & will do so again.  Obscurity is always the same kind of punishment, something akin to neglect really.  So I didn't expect anyone to reach out & say, "Hey! Did something happen to that show on Tuesdays?"  No one did.

Still, I can imagine a crazy science fiction alternative reality where at least one person likes the show & kind of misses it, & I'm hoping this blog post falls into a wormhole or something & gets to that person, as the Gary in that reality might have already totally given up.  This blog post is for you!

If you missed this week's Self Help Radio, & were thinking, "I guess I can wait till Monday night but I have time right now to listen to a radio program," might I suggest you listen the show's sibling-program, The Dickenbock Report?  It's a lot like Self Help Radio except there aren't any collaborators & it pretends it's a newscast hosted by Dick Dickenbock.

There were two new episodes in the past two weeks, which are on the Self Help Radio website if you wanna listen to them.  One was for National Candy Day (November 4) & featured nothing but songs entitled "Candy."  The other was for National Origami Day (November 11) & featured songs about origami.  That was a tough one, I kinda hoped someone would have said, wow you found two hours of songs about origami?  But of course no one listens so, you know, there's no one to be impressed by the show.

Anyway, imaginary other-dimensional listener, you can find those shows by clicking the links above, or these here: candy show + origami show.  Remember you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.  They might be enjoyable if you're the odd person that wished they could have heard Self Help Radio this week but did not.

By the way, I am aware that Self Help Radio covered the theme "candy" way back in 2005.  It was a completely different show, I promise.

One last thing - I also subbed a show on XRAY this past week, you can listen to it over on their website.  If you wanna.

That's all!  New show Monday!  I promise to no one at all!

Climb It

That photo, like this particular post, means nothing.  But it's been days since the previous post, which promised a radio show about socks, & there wasn't one.  There was a Self Help Radio this week at all.

Perhaps you get all your Self Help Radio news from this blog.  If so, that's not the best idea.  Information appeared on the show's Facebook page as well as in the show's Twitter feed that an emergency occurred which made it impossible for me to do the show, & a repeat was played instead.

What was the emergency?  It was about one of my elderly animals.  He's fine, although we're taking him to a specialist tomorrow.  So perhaps he's not fine.  We don't know, actually.  It's been quite stressful.

Anyway, I'm fond of taking pictures of telephone poles & wires.  I'm a little amazed how they're all around us but we taking them for granted.  On long road trips, when I wasn't driving, I loved to just follow the single wire that seems to run alongside the highway, so different from the many wires in the city.

The socks show will happen Monday.  At least I hope so.

Whither Socks?

(Retro radio socks - available - & image from - here.)

A radio show about socks.  I don't understand why there would be any questions about a radio show about socks.  Chances are, you're wearing socks now.  What else are you - & everyone else who might be near you - wearing no matter who you are, how you identify yourself, what age you might be?  Socks.  Probably just socks.  So damn it, socks get a radio show!

& you might think, have we gotten to the point in Self Help Radio where Gary's just staring at common things around the house & saying, "Yeah, let's do a radio show about that."  What's next?  Tables?  Hungry cats?  Nosy neighbors?  A glass of whiskey too early in the day?

The truth is, I don't remember why I thought it would be fun to do a show about socks.  But it will be!  Lots of songs & lots of guests.  Even if you don't like socks - & one of my guests does not - it'll be a grand time.  Like running around a shiny wooden floor in your socks!

Tonight! From midnight to 3am! On 90.7 fm KBOO in Portland.  Online at kboo.fm.  I would say, "It'll knock your socks off," but it's cold out.  That would be mean.

Preface To Socks: Dick Wears Black Sox

(image from here)

This is true: I just wear black socks.  & there's really one kind of black socks I like, the ones linked above, by Dickies.  Officially they're Dickies' Non-Binding Crew Socks.  They feel like your average sock but are black.  Other black socks are usually for dress shows, & they're too thin.  Dickies black socks are just right.

This is the rare occasion where I have an opinion about what I wear.  I generally wear tee shirts & jeans or shorts (depending on the weather) & don't really pay otherwise much attention - as a woman at KOOP in Austin told me once, "You dress like a thirteen year old boy!"  But I prefer to wear black socks.

Why though?  I dunno.  When did I start doing that?  Probably in the 1990s at some point.  I was definitely a black sock fellow by the early 2000s when my nephew moved in with us.  He apparently started wearing black socks too, because one trip back to my hometown my sister - his mother - asked me, "What have you done to my son?"  Apparently somehow encouraging him to wear black socks (which I only could have done by example) was worse than all the drinking he & I did together.

It might seem I am mentioning this to endorse a product, but that would somehow mean I was enough of a "celebrity" to "endorse" anything.  I'm not.  If Dickies thought to send me some socks, however, I would not be averse to such a delightful gift.  Though I probably won't talk about socks again on Self Help Radio after this week's show.  So Dickies would have very little to gain indeed.

Don't - Not In The Grass

Bad grammar & misspellings are slightly more fun to point out when they're in public places.  This picture was taken two years ago on this day here in Portland.  It encourages me to check with someone before I put a sign out, no matter what.  It of course begs the question, where am I supposed to dog shit, if not on the grass?

Interestingly, I took this picture about six months ago, also in our neighborhood:

Sad for all the green recycling bins mistaken for "a trash."  But at least I now know I should dog shit at home.

Fold Like Origami

(This image, from here, is the first that comes up in a image search for origami.)

It is true that I don't much about that other radio show I do, The Dickenbock Report on Freeform Portland, here on this blog.  It's mainly because the Dickenbock Report isn't Self Help Radio.  But the truth, except for the dumb "news reader" aspect of it, it's much more like Self Help Radio was in its first few years than it is now.  I didn't intend for that to happen - I wanted there to be more different segments - but it started to feel more right if the entire show was focused on a single theme.

For example, the show yesterday was on National Candy Day, so every song on the show was called "Candy."  That's something I have tried to do on SHR - in fact, the show this week, with the theme "Vacations," featured for the first ninety minutes all songs called "Vacation" - something that doubtless interests me more than any listener.  But it's next week's show that is kind of fascinating.

November 11 is Veteran's Day, but I didn't want to play songs about war or veterans being mistreated, so it was intriguing that it's also National Origami Day.  But.  Are there enough songs about origami that I can make a show out of it?

Perhaps.  My big thing is that I remember a song with the lyric "fold just like origami" & I can't find it anywhere.  But.  I am thinking I can pull it off.  Despite not knowing what song uses that exact phrase.  Because there are lots of songs that say "fold like origami" but that's not how the lyrics plays in my head.  There's a "just" there.

Anyway, that's all I'll say about the show I affectionately refer to as "The Dick Report."  It's on Thursdays at 8am on Freeform Portland.  It's kind of like Self Help Radio but it isn't.  & next week it might be about origami?!?

Self Help Radio 110221: Vacations

Do you need a vacation?  Wouldn't that be nice, especially as it seems to have become cold & rainy despite all objections?  If you can, please take a vacation!  If you can't, perhaps take a vacation show - which is this week's Self Help Radio.  Yes, it might be as dreary & dirty as your average highway motel, but at least no one's gotten bedbugs from a radio show!  (Not yet anyway.)

There's no air conditioning, pool or cable, but the first half of the show features songs just called "Vacation."  Why that would be a draw I'm not sure but it's the sort of accomplishment obscure radio deejays pride themselves on because no one gives them any encouragement.  Imagine what the show would be like if I were loved!  Oh, let's face it - there wouldn't be a show anymore.

How did I get from there to here?  I'm supposed to be talking about this week's show!  It's about vacations, it aired this morning on KBOO, & you can listen to it now & wherever (even on vacation!) at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  As usual, if you use the latter, remember the username (SHR) & the password (selfhelp).  What happens on the show is below.

Happy travels!

Self Help Radio Vacations Show

"Vacation" Connie Francis _Dreamboats & Petticoats_

"Vacation" Textones _I Can't Fight It 7"_

"Vacation" Critical Mass _Doctor Death's Volume IV: The Marvels Of Insect Life_

introduction & definitions (featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000)

"Vacation" The Frogs _Unsealed: A Tribute To The Go-Go's_

"Vacation" The Concretes _Boyoubetterunow_

"Vacation" Duck Hunt _International Hip Swing_

"Vacation" Freezepop _Freezepop Forever_

"Vacation" The Gay _You Know The Rules_

a report from Self Help Radio Travel Correspondent Orville Francis

"Vacation (feat. J-Live)" Jazz Liberatorz _Clin D'Oeil_

"Vacation" Aaron Espe _Songs From A Small Town_

"Vacation" Beach Fossils _Beach Fossils_

"Vacation" Mermaids _Tropsicle_

"Vacation" The Blank Tapes _Vacation_

interview with Gary's radio friend Don

"Vacation" Onward Chariots _Take Me To Somewhere_

"Vacation" Florist _Holdly_

"Vacation" Chris Staples _Golden Age_

"Vacation" Sobs _Telltale Signs_

"Vacation" Pynkie _# 37_

a Self Help Radio rerun: Chuck talks about tourist films (from back in March)

"Endless Vacation" Ramones _Too Tough To Die_

"Felt Just Like Vacation" Bomb The Music Industry! _Vacation_

"Vacation Town" The Front Bottoms _Going Grey_

"The Meaney's Summer Vacations" Kevin Meaney _That's Not Right_

"Punk Vacation" Places To Hide _Strange Lyfe_

a discussion of popular vacation destinations

"Vacation Blues" T-Bone Walker _The Chronological T-Bone Walker 1947_

"Bo's Vacation" Bo Diddley _Bo Diddley Is A... Lover_

"Your Mind Is On Vacation" Mose Allison _Allison Wonderland: The Mose Allison Anthology_

"Permanent Vacation" Marion Sodd _Northern Soul Fever Volume Two_

"I Need A Vacation" Jim Backus _Andy & Pat's Groovy Cosmic Love Hour Record Collection (Funky 45s)_

"Vacation Song" Ruth Wallis _For Sophisticates Only_

a discussion of hip vacation idioms

"Natty On Vacation" Big Joe _At The Control_

"Useful Phrases While On Vacation In Russia (Introduction To Spoken Russian)" Eugene Mirman _I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)_

"Vacation In Tehran" The Judy's _Washarama_

"Two-Week Vacation" The Embarrassment _Heyday 1979-83_

"Summer Vacation" Presidents Eleven _Behind The Banana Curtain 1975-2000_

"Island Vacation" Louise Burns _Mellow Drama_

conclusion & goodbye

"Sad Vacation" Johnny Thunders _Hurt Me_

"Al's Vacation" Shack _Zilch_

"Big Vacation" Dressy Bessy _Come Out, Come Out_

"No Vacation" The Apples In Stereo _Travellers In Space & Time_

"Take A Vacation!" The Young Veins _Take A Vacation!_

"Brak's Hawaiian Vacation" Brak _Space Ghost's Surf & Turf_

Whither Vacations?

(image found here)

Do people vacation in November? Can we say for the sake of a radio show that they do?  Thanks!

Since people vacation in November, it seemed appropriate for Self Help Radio to spend some time playing songs & talking about vacation.  It's been a while since I've been on a vacation myself, unless you want to consider this pandemic a vacation, which I do not.  But it's true that the show itself is a kind of vacation from the intense five-guest programs I've been doing recently.  Just two guests tonight!  & maybe I'll banter with a computer or something.

Self Help Radio's vacation show starts promptly at midnight tonight & lasts until 3am.  Only three hours?!?  If that's all I can get, I'll take it.  It'll happen on 90.7fm KBOO in Portland & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  Remember to take some snaps.  You'll want to show people where you've gone afterwards.

Preface To Vacations: Is Halloween Over Yet?

(image by Mr. Joshua)

It's over, yeah?  The kids are all inside, deep in their sugar comas?  The parents have self-medicated?  We've turned off the lights & let the blow-up things deflate?  Is that true?

You see, I didn't want to write about this week's show until Halloween was over, but also I didn't want to wait until tomorrow.  It's a whole new show tomorrow.  Nothing to do with Halloween.  It'll be a show about vacations.  I will talk more about it tomorrow.

Damn it!  The doorbell!  More kids!  I wanted to save the rest of this candy!