Preface To Too Much: Isn't Three Hours Too Much

(image & article answering that question here)

A long time ago, when I first starting doing Self Help Radio, I was oh so glad & grateful to have an hour-long show on the airwaves at KOOP.  It was very competitive at that time on the station - most shows were thirty minutes or an hour, & the two hour shows had been around for a while.  & frankly, I had come up with the idea of exploring a different theme every week out of a kind of desperation - I needed an angle to get my show approved.  So who knew if I could fill an hour a week with a show about donuts or diapers or whatever?

But when I had the opportunity to do the show for two hours, I took it.  & then when the station decided to change the schedule, I was happy to do ninety minutes.  & I kinda felt at the time that that was the perfect show length for Self Help Radio.  When I started at WRFL in 2010, the timeslot was three hours long - so I divided the time between a freeform show & Self Help Radio, although eventually I did expand it again to two hours, & ended with a two hour show before I left Kentucky.

When I moved SHR to KBOO, I knew I wouldn't be splitting the timeslot - but I did wonder if maybe I should reserve the last hour for something else, like only instrumentals, or perhaps "re-running" a previous show.  Eventually I decided, you know what?  I will do a three-hour show.  They've given me three hours.  Nothing else made any sense.

But to answer my own question: yes, three hours is too much.  When I have five interviews, it is handy, but I wouldn't have so many interviews if the show were only two hours long.  & I hold out hope that either a) the station decides to carve up the late-night hours into smaller timeslots so more shows can happen or b) I get an earlier two-hour timeslot at some point.  Because doing three hour shows - & then doing the Dickenbock Report - yes, that's too much.

Bo Live

This is a terrible picture taken from quite far away at a Bo Burnham concert I attended in Atlanta on this day in 2015.  I had become familiar with him when I was reviewing material for WRFL & we got a digital copy of his album, What., which would've been in December of 2013.

We didn't normally get comedy records, & I was very baffled by the first track, which is nearly ten minutes long, & which is mostly pantomime (not great for an audio medium).  But I was intrigued by it - & was glad to see the actual show on Youtube not long after.  That started me on the Bo Burnham journey - which led to this show, in which I was old enough to be the father of about 95% of the attendees.

Atlanta was a bit of a schlep from Lexington, Kentucky, where we lived, but we would often have to travel outside the city to see shows - usually Cincinnati or Louisville, but we went to Columbus & Nashville & even St. Louis if a band or comedian only came that close to us.

We don't have that problem in Portland!  Lots of shows come here - of course now I just have to feel comfortable to go to see them.  Which I am probably not.

Remind me to tell you how I fucked up seeing him on his next tour, which would be his last for a while - & that story is the subject of a song he did on his extraordinary Netflix show from last year.

Ginger(bread) Books

(images from Good Reads)

If you listened to this past week's Self Help Radio, you heard our librarian friend Carole talk about books involving gingerbread.  Why would she do that?  Well, it was The Ginger Show.  You didn't listen?  Maybe go do that now - at either KBOO dot fm or at the Self Help Radio website - & when you're done, check out the books she talked about, which were:

The Gingerbread Man by Jim Aylesworth, illustrated by Barbara McClintock

The Gingerbread Boy by Paul Galdone

The Gingerbread Cowboy by Janet Squires, illustrated by Holly Berry

The Gingerbread Man Loose In The School by Laura Murray, illustrated by Mike Lowery
(This is the first of a series about the Gingerbread Man - the link will mention the rest!)

Hansel & Gretel by Bethan Woollvin

& Gingerbread For Liberty!: How A German Baker Helped Win The American Revolution by Mara Rockliff, illustrated by Vincent X. Kirsch

You might find all or some of these good fits for your library! Or you might just want to read them at the library. Either one will make Carole very happy.

Self Help Radio 031522: The Ginger Show

Did Self Help Radio broadcast from this place this week? Alas, no!

Whilst sipping ginger tea, & delicately nibbling on ginger snaps, hoping to return home for a cold ginger beer post-show, I sat in the lonesome KBOO studios this morning & presented a radio show about ginger. Of all kinds! The name, the root, the red-head. & probably more. It was a very long show.

& surely it can speak for itself, so let's just tell you the what & where, were you foolish enough to miss it.  You can listen whenever you'd like, preferably while eating ginger &/or hanging out with a ginger (but do the latter gingerly), at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  As always, I remind you, should you choose the latter, you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.

Lots of music & lots of stuff happened on the show.  All is detailed below.  & please don't forget to support KBOO radio right now!

Self Help Radio 220315: The Ginger Show
"Ginger" Wayne Parker _Rare Fifties Boston Rockabilly, Vol. 1_
"Ginger" Lovers _Star Lit Sunken Ship_
"Ginger" Twin Sister _Vampires With Dreaming Kids/Color Your Life_

introduction & definitions

"Prejudice" Tim Minchin & The Heritage Orchestra _Tim Minchin & The Heritage Orchestra_
"Ginger Geezer" Vivian Stanshall _Teddy Boys Don't Knit_
"The Land Of Green Ginger" The Orb _Back To Mine_
"Gingersnap" Jamie _Gingersnap_
"Do The Ginger Snap" Little Bobby Moore _Only Young Once - The King Records Story 1962_

interview with diviner Sammy Jarvis

"Ginger" Ginger Valley _Country Life_
"Ginger" The Lilys _A Brief History Of Amazing Letdowns_
"Mother Ginger (narrated by Jim Weiss)" London Philharmonic Orchestra, Stephen Simon, Conductor _The Nutcracker_
"Ginger Haired Man" Gallery _Nice To Be With You: All Time Greatest Performances_
"Ginger" The Front Bottoms _Back On Top_

interview with our library friend Carole (part one)

"Ginger Bread" Frankie Avalon _The Best Of Frankie Avalon_
"Sweet Gingerbread Man" Bobby Sherman _With Love, Bobby_
"Gingerbread" Jumprope _Shining Sun_
"The Gingerbread House" Plasticland _Wonder Wonderful Wonderland_
"Gingerbread Abode" Helen Austin _Always Be A Unicorn_

interview with our library friend Carole (part one)

"Princess Of The Gingerland" The Glitterhouse _Color Blind_
"Ginger Man" Barry Goldberg Blues Band _Blowing My Mind_
"Ginger Bread Man" The Shades _Green Crystal Ties Volume Ten (60s Garage Band Flashback)_
"Ginger Ale Yawn" Wolfie _You're Lucky I'm Skinny_
"Ginger Ale" The Clean _Modern Rock_

another installment of Marge's Large Kitchen

"Ginger & Spice" Hoagy Carmichael _A Portrait Of Hoagy Carmichael_
"Gingerbread Coffin" Rasputina _Cabin Fever!_
"Ginger Park" 50 Foot Wave _Golden Ocean_
"Ginger's Boogie" Ginger Smock with the Jackson Brothers _Boogie Woogie Gals: Boogie Songstresses & Piano Stylists_
"Ginger Kisses" Modern Girlfriends _Modern Girlfriends_
"Jackass Ginger" Poi Dog Pondering _Volo Volo_

Gary's moderately amusing ginger ale story

"Ginger" Neil Sedaka _The Brooklyn Demos (1958-1961)_
"Ginger Snaps" Britta Phillips & Dean Wareham _L'Avventura_
"Ginger" Hooverphonic _No More Sweet Music_
"Ginger" Speedy Ortiz _Foil Deer_
"Ginger" T.J. Assembly _Let's Go Down & Blow Our Minds: The British Psychedelic Sounds Of 1967_
"Playing Cards With Gingerbread" WinterKids _Memoirs_

conclusion & goodbye

"Ginger (La Rue Remix)" The Sensualists _Adaptations_
"Jack & Ginger" Ill Ease _Live At The Holiday Sin_
"Ginger, Baby" Ex Norwegian _House Music_
"Ginger" Georgia's Horse _Weather Codes_

Whither The Ginger Show?

Majestic root.

Ginger can mean or be many things.  It can be the delicious root pictured above.  It can mean (in UK slang mostly) a red-headed person.  & it can be a name or nickname (often based on the color of one's hair).  & that's not even talking about the adjective!  Tonight all of the word's meanings will be explored on Self Help Radio's show about ginger.

Perhaps it's these myriad reasons that made me start collecting songs about ginger & gingers in the first place.  Certainly there are more songs about the name than the vegetable, although if you add in gingerbread & ginger snaps & even ginger ale, it attempts to even the number somewhat.  I assure you it had nothing to do with this being the week of St. Patrick's day, the traditional holiday celebrating the Irish, whose folk are famously red-headed!  Howsoever the theme did occur to me, we shall have a show about all kinds of ginger tonight.

Listen from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in town & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  Many songs, a few interviews, lots of embarrassing talking from me.  The usual!

Preface To The Ginger Show: I Cooked With Ginger Tonight!

(No, not that Ginger! Image from here.)

While Tina Louise is definitely the Ginger of my childhood, I wasn't cooking with her tonight, nor was I watching Gilligan's Island while I was cooking.  Come to think of it, I haven't watched an episode of Gilligan's Island in decades.  But they're burned into my brain from childhood, so I don't have to.  No, I was cooking with the root, which I hate having to peel, & also I don't enjoy grating it either.

If you bet me that I hadn't actually eaten ginger in anything other than gingerbread or ginger ale before I was twenty, I would take that bet - if you showed ginger root to me when I was fifteen, I wouldn't know what it was, let alone that it was edible.  To be fair, I was mostly confused & ignorant when I was fifteen, so it's not that I was simply culinarily ignorant.  Although I was.

My mother, in her eighties, once asked my sister Karin, "Did I cook for you when you were a kid?"  She wasn't getting senile - well, she was, but this wasn't an example of that - my mother was kind of realizing she hadn't been a very good cook.  I can remember maybe five meals we regularly had, & they weren't of the "more than one item" variety - we might have bread, but hardly any sides.  I can imagine my mother lacklusterly listening to her mother trying to teach her how to make meals.  Almost certainly my mother had a very small repertoire of spices - salt, pepper, perhaps some paprika - although she told me she found paprika a bit too spicy for her tastes.

This is sad but true: I didn't eat Indian food or Chinese food until I was in at least my third year of college.  I wasn't too adventurous but I also didn't really know about the other cuisines.  & I really didn't start cooking in earnest until maybe a little over ten years ago.  That's when I became familiar with ginger.  Which I cooked with tonight!  I made a recipe called "Thai Golden Curry."  It took an eighth of a cup of ginger.  I was supposed to grate it, but I did not.  I chopped it as small as I could.

It occurs to me that I don't really know the relationship between the ginger I cook with in non-dessert foods & the ginger in gingerbread, how it works, what the story is.  I must do some research.

& for the record, I was way more into Mary-Ann than Ginger.  When I was like eight.

Some Pictures Of My Animals I've Taken On March 12

As the title of this post says, here are some pictures of my animals that were taken on this day in history.  Starting with one who is gone & whose absence I deeply feel.

Beatrice was almost 17 when this picture was taken.  We met when she was still a kitten in the summer of 2000, & she traveled with me to & from Texas, finally leaving me in 2018.  She wasn't the friendliest of cats but I was always happy that she liked me best of all.

This is Pauline in 2017 on this day.  Yawning in bed.

Here she is - later in the day - wanting to yarp with her little brother (who is five years older than her) Winston.

& here's Winston getting up from a little circular bed he's apparently been sharing with Bolan & Bronte.  We lost Bronte last year, & if you happened to be around her in the eleven years she spent with us, she'd very likely be cuddled up to Bolan.

Here are pictures - one with Pauline, the other with Yoko - taken on our backyard deck.  Like today, it appears that March 12, 2020, was unseasonably warm & sunny*.  So they were relaxing outdoors.

& lastly, here's a picture of Winston & Yoko sitting at the front of the house.  Yoko was probably barking out the window while Winston looked on, bemused, but when I approached, she turned to see if I might be giving out treats.  This was taken one year ago today.

Just to make it clear - I take pictures of my animals every day.  Just because they're not featured her doesn't mean that I didn't take pictures of them.  Oh I did.  But they're a bit too amateurish to share.

* Until the middle of the day this year, then it got cold & rainy.  But the first half of today was glorious!

Harbors In The Movies

(image from the IMDb)

Lollygagging in Self Help Radio harbor this week was our resident cinephile Chuck, who talked to us about films he liked which had scenes in harbors.  Did you listen?  If not, perhaps do so at the show's page on KBOO or at the Self Help Radio website.  We can wait!

These links will help you watch the films he talked about & more:

Here is the IMDb keyword search list for films tagged "harbor."

Here is his YouTube playlist of films with harbor scenes.
Here's a list of some films available for free elsewhere.

Chuck collected the films he watched with reviews on Letterboxd.

See what Chuck is watching by following him on Twitter.

What? No movies about Pearl Harbor?!? That's a different keyword list - & maybe a different show?

Self Help Radio 030822: Harbors

(original image here*)

Self Help Radio this week was a nautical excursion - well, just as far as the harbor.  But what things you can see from the harbor!  & you don't have to get scurvy or anything!

In addition to lots of songs about harbors both real & metaphorical, we talked with two Captains, a cartographer, & our resident cinephile.  Honestly, I had almost nothing to do except play the songs.  Harbors are a bit like that - they're doing all the work, you're just hanging out.

You can listen to the show at all tides at both the KBOO web site or at the Self Help Radio web page.  You know if you go to the latter, you'll need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp), right?  I hope so.  All the things that happen on the show are below.

As Phil Ochs has sung, "Come & take the pleasures of the harbor... radio show."

Self Help Radio 220308 Harbors

"Harbour Blues" Lillian Miller _Texas Girls: Complete Recorded Works 1926-1929_

"Harbor Lights" Frances Langford with Sam Koki & His Islanders _The White Cliffs Of Dover_

"Remember Pearl Harbor" Eddy Howard & His Orchestra _The War Years_

introduction & definitions

"Harbor Of Love" Hank Thompson _Treasures_

"I Need A Harbor" Sue Thompson _Paper Tiger_

"Love Is A Sheltering Harbor" The Limeliters _Look At Love... In Depth_

"Harbor Melon" The Young Ones _Tobacco A-Go-Go Vol. II - '60s Carolina Psychedelia_

"Pleasures Of The Harbor" Phil Ochs _Pleasures Of The Harbor_

interview with our cartographer friend Rudy Jasper

"Temma Harbour" Mary Hopkin _Those Were The Days_

"Streets Of The Harbour" Jimmie Spheeris _The Original Tap Dancing Kid_

"Harbour" Mason _Harbour_

"Make & Break Harbour" Stan Rogers _Fogarty's Cove_

"At The Harbour" Renaissance _Ashes Are Burning_

interview with harbor patrol Captain Douglas Fair

"Certain Harbours" The Bongos _Drums Along The Hudson_

"Harborcoat" R.E.M. _Reckoning_

"Black Ship In The Harbour" Felt _Ignite The Seven Cannons & Set Sail For The Sun_ 

"Last Harbor" American Music Club _California_

"Martha's Harbour" All About Eve _All About Eve_

interview with tugboat Captain Tim Hicks

"Harbour Force" The Railway Children _Native Place_

"Harbor" For Against _Shelf Life_

"Cold Harbour Nights" They Go Boom!! _Just For A Day_

"Lost In The Harbour" Tom Waits _Alice_

"Safe Harbour Song" Kirsty McGee _Frost_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies with harbor scenes

"Love In The Harbour" The Bees _Octopus_

"Benton Harbor Blues" The Fiery Furnaces _Bitter Tea_

"Myriad Harbour" The New Pornographers _Challengers_

"Harbour" Perhapst _Perhapst_

"The Harbor Is Yours" Aesop Rock _None Shall Pass_

a brief digression into the etymology of "harbor"

"Hug The Harbour" Emma Pollock _The Law Of Large Numbers_

"Harbour Lights" Pocketbooks _Carousel_

"Blue Harbour" The Wave Pictures _Beer In The Breakers

"Danny Boyd (Low Tide In Harbor Town)" The Secret History _Americans Singing In The Dark_

conclusion & goodbye

"Harborview Hospital" Mark Lanegan Band _Blues Funeral_

"Quiet, The Winter Harbour" Mazzy Star _Still EP_

* "Capri Harbor" by vgm8383 is marked with CC BY-NC 2.0.

Whither Harbors?

That picture up there?  I took it at the Sydney Harbor when I visited Australia in late 2010/early 2011.  We were actually taking a boat across the harbor to the Taronga Zoo.  Yes, that's the famous Sydney Harbor Bridge in the background, but I was impressed by the size of the luxury liner there.  Holy shit it was huge.  I don't think I'd ever been so close to something so huge that was literally floating next to me.  I must've taken a dozen pictures of it.  But only this one also included the harbor.

This begs the question why I didn't do a show about harbors in 2011 when I got back.  I don't think I've really been near a harbor any time recently.  So why do a show about harbors now?  I wish I could tell you.  A decision was made some time ago & the reasons are lost in the mists of the recent past.  Which as I get older becomes more misty even as it gets more recent.

Please enjoy however a nautical Self Help Radio tonight (Tuesday morning) on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland & online everywhere at kboo dot fm from midnight to 3am.  Guests & good tunes.  It'll be just like coming into a harbor from a long sea journey.  Or - let's be honest here - probably not.

Preface To Harbors: Wishing One Lived Nearer To Water

(image from here)

Once, in conversation with my brother-in-law, I commented (I was living in Kentucky at the time) on the number of rivers I had to pass/cross/drive over (whatever) to get to places - the biggest one being the Ohio River, should I be going to Ohio or Indiana.  He was (is? we haven't talked in years) a long-haul trucker, & he thought about the rivers he regularly passed/crossed/drove over, & he said, "We really need more rivers in Texas."

*

The closest I've ever lived near water was probably where I lived in my first two years in Austin.  I was within walking distance of what was then called "Town Lake" but which is now called "Ladybird Lake" (so-renamed after the death of the former first lady) & which is really a part of the Colorado River.  Not that I walked down there much.  I was a busy student & the lake was kind of smelly & there were some terrifically large rats (nutria?) that lived there.  They did not strike me as being shy but I did not want to find out if that were true.

*

In my last visit to Austin, we went to find a food cart which just so happened to be in that very area where I lived from 1986 to 1988.  & so, after thirty years, with many of the old apartments that were there demolished & replaced with condos & snazzier apartments, I walked with my wife & my dogs down to that lake.  It felt like there were far more people around though it was a moderately cold December day.  & perhaps it was natural that there were - according to the internets, when I moved to Austin, there were barely half a million people living there (485,000 is the number I got); thirty years later, the city had almost doubled in size (907,000 it said to me).  This is just the city, not the metropolitan area, which I believe now contains over two million souls.  In any event, I didn't remember much about the area, but it was nice to be close to Town Lake again, even if she had changed her name.

*

The picture above is of some place called "The Harbor Rockwall."  I have never been there.  It's a harbor on a lake - called Lake Ray Hubbard - which forms some of the eastern boundary of my home town of Garland, Texas.  (Rockwall is the town it's in, in case you were looking for a wall of rock.)  It's possibly the closest harbor to when I was born, although it wasn't there when I was born; it was built in 2003.  I hadn't lived in that area for sixteen years when it was built.  But I made a half-assed effort to find a harbor near my birthplace & this is all I got.

*

According to this Wikipedia article, Lake Ray Hubbard (some folks these days call it Ray Hubbard Lake) was named after a fellow "who presided over the Dallas Parks & Recreation System board from 1943 to 1972."  It's human-made, says the article, "created by the construction of the Rockwall-Forney Dam, which impounded the East Fork Trinity River."  The article mentions that the lake "contains a large population of hybrid striped bass, white bass, largemouth bass, channel catfish, blue catfish, white crappie, black crappie, & alligator gar."  When I was a kid, we went swimming in the lake, probably not a lot, but a few times, & I remember one particularly lovely afternoon ruined when someone saw a water moccasin.  We were made to get out of the water forthwith.

*

The article also mentions, "Several areas of the lake have been infested with hydrilla."  Because of the use of the passive tense, the sentence suggests someone is responsible, & I guess someone is, whoever brought the non-native plant to the area in the first place, but I don't think it was intentional.  One of the problems with having a lake, I suppose.

*

Just thinking about harbors tonight made me think about every time I'm near water, I kind of want to live near water.  We walked around the Willamette River a couple of weeks ago & there's a dreamy quality to watching a river slowly pass you by.  I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to fall asleep in a home near the sea or a lake - to see if that dreamy quality truly has a soporific effect.

Snowy Night

In 2015, I had been taking random pictures with a little digital camera for only about a year.  So it's safe to say this picture, taken March 5, 2015, or seven years ago today, was one of the first pictures I took as part of a regular routine.  Chances are it was taken in the very early morning (I am regularly up late, & was then too), & I never have really good cameras, so it's a shabby, badly lit picture.  It's taken from my backyard in Lexington, Kentucky, on what was obviously a very cold night with snow covering everything.

Since then, I've lived in four different houses in two different cities, both very far away from Lexington.  I miss the idea of snow - it's snowed here in Portland a couple of times, but only once (or maybe twice?) so far the "shovel your driveway & sidewalk" kind of snow.  But I don't miss shoveling snow or the inconvenience of snow covering everything - it was more exhausting than beautiful in the end.

But gosh it really is beautiful. & on a cold night, so quiet & still.

The Disastrous Non-Introduction Of Scrooby Droop

(artist's rendition; image from here.)

Here's something that may be evident from listening to my shabby show: I work on it until the very last possible minute.  For last week's show, "the tangled show" (which you can listen to here or here), I decided to forego my usual guests so I'd have a little more time to spend on the show (& also with my wife, who considers my radio shows my mistresses).  I couldn't resist playing some characters, though, & I had the idea late Monday afternoon to introduce a new character - a filthy street "musician" who howls songs in a Scooby Doo outfit & who is brought in by Ned Dry to perform a song, since, you know, I didn't have any guests.  I set it up in a previous interviews, but - as is all too typical - in my haste, I forgot to mix the file down & didn't bring it with me.

It's all incredibly stupid but it made me laugh, & I might bring the character back at some point.  If you think you'd like to listen to it, you can click here to listen.  I won't just play it on next week's show because it wouldn't make any sense.  But if you heard "the tangled show," just imagine this happening in the very last airbreak.  That's where & when it was supposed to air.

As always, I deeply apologize for subjecting you to my nonsense.

Self Help Radio 030122: A Tangled Show

(Original image here.*)

This tangled world probably inspired this tangled show.  Though it's a tiresome, even boring process untangling things - wires, hair, whatever - I don't think it's the same listening to songs about tangled things, about being tangled up, about tangles in general.  & that's about a glowing a recommendation I can give for this silly episode.

Just one note: there aren't any guests on the show.  I felt the need to breathe a little, to not spend so much time on editing audio.  It caused me to make a big mistake!  Which I'll tell you about soon.

Meanwhile, enjoy the show if you need some untangling - either at the Self Help Radio KBOO page or at Self Help Radio dot net.  The latter will require a password & a username, selfhelp + SHR are those respectively.  What happened on the show is below.

Did I feel less tangled up after this show?  Just the contrary!

Self Help Radio 220301: A Tangled Show

"Tangleweed 'Round My Heart" Charlie Barnet & His Orchestra _1940 Vol. 2_

"The World's In A Tangle" Jimmy Rogers _The Complete Chess Recordings_

"Tangled Mind" Hank Snow _The Southern Cannonball_

introduction; a question about tangleweed

"Three Hearts In A Tangle" James Brown & The Famous Flames _The Singles, Volume 2: 1960-1963_

"Tanglefoot" Charlie Drake _Stampede - The United Artists Story_

"Wrapped, Tied, & Tangled" LaVern Baker _What More Can A Woman Do? Brunswick & Chi-Sound Sisters Of Soul_

"Tangled Web" The Browns _The Three Bells_

"Terrible Tangled Web" Bobbie Gentry & Glen Campbell _Bobbie Gentry & Glen Campbell_

definitions (featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000)

"Like A White Star, Tangled & Far, Tulip That's What You Are" Tyrannosaurus Rex _Unicorn_

"Wrapped Up & Tangled Up In Jesus" Reverend Charlie Jackson _God's Got It: The Legendary Booker & Jackson Singles_

"Tangled Vines" Dolly Parton & Porter Wagoner _Just Between You & Me_

"Tangled Man" Anne Briggs _The Time Has Come_

"Tangled (Like A Spider In Her Hair)" Don McLean _Homeless Brother_

etymologies

"Tangled Up In Blue" Bob Dylan _Blood On The Tracks_

"Let Me Tangle In Your Vines" Yank Rachell _Chicago Style_

"Tangled" The Passage _For All & None_

"Tattered, Tangled, & Torn" Bradford _Bradford_

"Honey Tangle" The Adult Net _The Honey Tangle_

mathematical tangles

"Triangle Tangle Tango" Severed Heads _Rotund For Success_

"Bauble, Bangles, Emotional Tangles" The Band Of Holy Joy _Manic, Magic, Majestic_

"Tangled" Jane Wiedlin _Tangled_

"Tingle Tangle" The Lightning Seeds _Sense_

"Tangle" Bleach _Killing Time_

Ned Dry interrupts!

"Tangle Up" Poole _Tangle Up_

"Tangle My Shoes" The Cat's Miaow _A Kiss & A Cuddle_

"Tangles" Eric's Trip _Peter_

"Tangled Weeks" Licorice Roots _Licorice Roots Orchestra_

"Tangled Up In Blue" The Brilliant Corners _Creamy Stuff: The Singles 84-90_

"Tangled Up In Blue" St. Christopher _Lioness_

Sir Walter Scott & his tangled web

"Don't Want To Tangle With Me" Smokey Wilson _The Man From Mars_

"Tangled Up" Cranes _EP Collection Volumes 1 & 2_

"Tangle" Flare _Bottom_

"The Tango Tangle" Dirt Bike Annie _Show Us Your Demons_

"Tangled" The Black Heart Procession _The Spell_

"Tangled Up With You" The Mumlers _Don't Throw Me Away_

conclusion & goodbye

"Tangled Line" Brave Irene _Brave Irene_

"The Tangle Of Us" Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat _The Most Important Place In The World_

"Tangle Of Souls" Scott Cook _Tangle Of Souls_

"Entangled" Mamak Khadem _Remembrance_

* "Tangled technology" by stuant63 is marked with CC BY-NC 2.0.

Whither A Tangled Show?

(I once lived in these apartments. Image from Goggle Marps.)

Everything feels so tangled up I thought it might be appropriate to spend a little time playing a bunch of songs about being tangled up, tangled things, being entangled, stuff like that.  Maybe it might help things get untangled.  But probably not.

Not that special this week, sorry.

Listen at 90.7fm in Portland or online everywhere at kboo.fm.  From midnight to 3am.  Tonight - or Tuesday morning, howsoever you roll.

Preface To Tangle: Tangled Up In Blue

(image from Discogs)

"Tangled Up In Blue" is a Bob Dylan song from Blood On The Tracks, his fifteenth studio album, released in 1975.  It's catchy as hell, one of those Dylan songs without a chorus, just the phrase "tangled up in blue" repeated at the end of each verse.

Wikipedia tells us, "With 'Tangled Up in Blue,' Dylan used shifting perspectives of time, influenced by his recent studies under Raeben."  Norman Raeben was an American painter, & what little I know about him, I'm not sure what exactly Raeben taught Dylan but I was initially confused by the shifting pronouns in the song.  The confusion was compounded by different lyrics - & pronouns - on his Bootleg Series version & even more so the Real Live version, which feels about 65% rewritten.

Dylan denies the song is autobiographical but I suspect there's lots of real life in there somewhere.  The song (& the album) has been part of my life's soundtrack for decades now.

Around the same time I got into Blood On The Tracks, I was writing terrible poetry for a Usenet group & just beginning my radio adventure.  I remember trying to flip pronouns around like Dylan but of course I wasn't really trying to make a narrative.  I was just putting words together & hoping they sounded nice.

Once on a camping trip, my girlfriend & I at the time tried to sing the song from memory.  We didn't get it quite right.  But trying to do so took up a considerable amount of time - much longer than the song itself.

When I mentioned this week's theme on the air, someone texted & requested this song.  I was kinda hoping the person wanted the Bootleg Series version, but they specifically asked for the Blood On The Tracks version.  Which doesn't bother me, I love the song.

Crickets In The Movies

 (image from the IMDb)

Our resident cinephile Chuck failed me this week.  He was supposed to find movies about crickets.  The best he could do is share some of his favorite films featuring insects.  & he knows I can't stay mad at him!  He watches movies so I don't have to!

Follow these links for cinematic bliss:

Here is the IMDb keyword search list he used to find some films.

Here is his YouTube playlist of insect films.
Here's a list of some films available for free elsewhere.

Chuck reviewed some movies over on Letterboxd.

& you can always watch along with Chuck on his Twitter feed.

If you didn't listen to the show, you can do both at the show's KBOO page or at Self Help Radio dot net.  Chuck actually found a film which prominently featured Crickets - but you'll have to listen to find out which one that was!

Hey Hollywood!  Make some movies about crickets already!

Cricket Poems

(images from GoodReads)

We had the great pleasure this week of a visit from our favorite librarian, Carole, who read to us some poems about crickets from wonderful collections of poetry.  They were:

Insectlopedia by Douglas Florian
After Dark: Poems About Nocturnal Animals by David L. Harrison & Stephanie Laberis
& Boom! Bellow! Bleat!: Animal Poems For Two Or More Voices by Georgia Heard & Aaron DeWitt

She mentioned in passing the classic The Cricket In Times Square by George Selden, & seemed a bit too dismissive of Jiminy Cricket, who actually sang a song on the show.  Wait.  That wasn't an actual cricket?  Oh.

Please listen to Carole's segment on this week's Self Help Radio - on the Self Help Radio website or on the KBOO website - she found out something about crickets that might blow your mind!

We thank her for coming by!

Self Help Radio 022222: Crickets

 

(Original image here.*)

Despite the fact that I don't think I've ever seen a cricket in Oregon, I felt that there might be some crickets hanging around in their - let's call them apartments? - waiting for spring to come so they could be outside, who might enjoy some cricket tunes.

Not that humans can't enjoy them as well.  That's the magic of music - it was be about something not entirely in one's experience, & one can enjoy it.  So even if you don't count yourself among the crickets of Oregon, you can understand the words to the songs & the interviews as well.  I'm assuming you know English.  Sadly, most crickets do not.

Listen to the show now or if you want to wait until the crickets come out, fine.  You can do that too.  It's at the KBOO website & also at the Self Help Radio website.  At the latter place, you'll need a username which is SHR & a password which is selfhelp.  Just chirping at the computer will do not do it.

Stay warm!  Especially if you're cold-blooded, like crickets.

Self Help Radio 220222: Crickets
"What Is An Insect? (Cricket In A Thicket)" Marais & Miranda _Ballads For The Age Of Science_
"The Cricket Song" Max Bygraves _The Decca Years 1957-62_
"Cricket The King" Caspar Babypants _I Found You!_

intro & definitions

"When You Wish Upon A Star" Cliff Edwards _Walt Disney's Pinocchio (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)_
"Crickets" Ora Cogan _Crickets_
"Crickets In The Rain" Allo Darlin' _We Come From The Same Place_
"Crickets" Akron/Family _Love Is Simple_
"Cricket On The Moon" Lee 'Scratch' Perry _Rainford_

our favorite librarian Carole stops by to talk about cricket poems

"Crickets" Peter Cowap _Strawberry Bubblegum (A Collection Of Pre-10cc Strawberry Studios Recordings 1969-1972)_
"Emotional (Until Crickets Guide You Back)" Rilo Kiley _The Execution Of All Things_
"I'm Gonna Put A Cricket In Your Ear" Jeffrey Parnell & The Tune Twisters _Gang War_
"Little Cricket" The Royal Teens _Let's Rock_
"Of Crickets" Plow On Boy _Broken_

interview with The Cricket Man

"Crickets" Hobby Farm _Braeside_
"The Cricket Song" Petunia & The Vipers _Petunia & The Vipers_
"My Cricket & Me" Willie Nelson _The Complete Atlantic Sessions_
"Shivers + Crickets" Julie Doiron _Heart & Crime_
"Cricket Vs. Ant" Freakwater _Thinking Of You..._

interview with nutritionist Dr. Bernard Morten

"Tofu & Crickets" Rat Cat Hogan _Vitamins & Calcium = Health & Happiness_
"Your Cricket Is Rather Unique" Guided By Voices _Sweating The Plague_
"The Cricket Song" Tex Ritter _High Noon_
"Cricket (At Night I Can Fly)" Luther Dickinson & Sisters Of The Strawberry Moon _Solstice_
"Cricket Songs" Red Steppes _Arcs_

our resident cinephile Chuck talks about crickets insects in movies

"Cricket Song" Mephistopheles _In Frustration I Hear Singing_
"Crickets" Sondre Lerche _Please_
"Crickets" Matt Pond PA _The Green Fury_
"Crickets Sing For Anamaria" Astrud Gilberto _Windy_
"Crickets" Lorraine Leckie & Her Demons _Razor Wing Butterfly_
"Cricket Came Late" Flap _World Of Visions_

fun facts about crickets

"Crickets" Sherman _Transparent Extender_
"Night Of The Crickets" Mr. Gnome _Deliver This Creature_
"The Crickets Ditty" The Bran Flakes _I Have Hands_
"Cricket" Mouse On Mars _Parastrophics_
"The King Of The Crickets" Eli Mardock _Everything Happens For The First Time_
"Box Of Crickets" Fairmont _A Retrospective 2011-2021_

conclusion & goodbye

"Cricket" The Kinks _Preservation Act 1_
"Cricket Champions" Lord Kitchener _Klassic Kitchener Volume One_
"Cricket Club Porn Night" The Cannanes _Short Poppy Syndrome_

* "Cricket, face_2012-09-26-15.17.13 ZS PMax" by Sam Droege is in the public domain

Whither Crickets?

(image from here.)

Sometime around the beginning of the year I thought, "It's time to have another Self Help Radio show about a bug."  I couldn't even remember the last time I did a show about a bug.  Was it maybe moths?  But that was two years ago!  Yeah, that & the re-do I did of the bees show.  It's been two years!   A bug show is due!

But why crickets?  I dunno.  Maybe I just chanced upon the idea - there aren't that many here in Portland but there were crickets everywhere in Texas, all through my childhood.  There were cricket invasions in the apartments where we lived, I seem to remember in the fall, but I could be wrong.  They'd gather in the breezeways & you couldn't help but crunching a few as you walked past.

& jeez, looking at that picture up there, they kinda resemble sleeker cockroaches.  That's creepy.  I don't remember them being as creepy or aggressive as cockroaches though - crickets might accidentally fly at you, but it didn't seem like they were paying any attention.  Maybe it's because they're musicians.  You always assume musicians are kinda out of it.

Too late to back out now!  Tonight's Self Help Radio is all about the cricket.  It's on from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in Portland & only everywhere at kboo.fm.  Fans of cricket chirps will be mightily rewarded.

Preface To Crickets: I'm No Fool

(image from here.)

Long before I saw Pinocchio, probably, as a kid in elementary school, I was regularly admonished & cautioned by a cricket named Jiminy who appeared in a series of filmstrips called "I'm No Fool."  According to this Disney wiki, the shorts were made for the Mickey Mouse Club, but they must have be deemed helpful enough to distribute to schools because on those seemingly random Fridays when we were herded into the cafeteria to watch educational films, there always seemed to be one of Mr. Cricket's safety films.

The Wikipedia tells us, however, there were only six in the "I'm No Fool" series, so they doubtless showed us some (or all) of them over & over.  Because as soon as I thought about Jiminy Cricket in relation to a radio show about crickets, I didn't immediately think of "When You Wish Upon A Star," I thought of "I'm no fool, nosirree! I'm gonna live to be 93! I play safe for you & me because I'm no fool."

Perhaps I saw them on television, but the truth is, I wasn't a big fan of Disney as a kid.  I think I was more likely to watch 60 Minutes than The Wonderful World Of Disney on a Sunday night.  (Later on, PBS programmed Cosmos at the same time - I had to go upstairs to watch that, no one else in my family wanted to.)  The ditty is short & catchy, but the fact that I could recall it so readily after decades makes me think I associated it with something really fun, like getting out of class to watch "movies" in the afternoon.

You can watch these on YouTube - here's the first one.  Wikipedia says they updated them in the 1970s with live action - I would've seen them in school probably between 1974-1976, so we almost certainly didn't have the new versions.  It was public school, after all.

Fire Escape

If you ever wander toward my dumb Tumblr page, where I collect the dumb pictures I take, you may notice some recurring themes.  One of them is fire escapes.  I love fire escapes.

On this day in 2020, I took this picture of a fire escape.  Of course the pandemic was just around the corner, & the 19th was a Wednesday, so I was probably on my way to a radio station in the afternoon to do work.  Wednesdays used to be days when I'd go first to KBOO to shelve new releases, & then to XRAY to add digital music to the their library.  Traffic was kinda awful from the BOO to XRAY & doubtless Waze or some other app was taking me a weird way around.  So this picture was taken from a moving vehicle.

Gee I had been in Portland for less than a year & already my life was structured around radio.  That's great.  It still is - maybe even moreso - but I don't get to be in three different stations a week.  & I miss that very much.

This Is How I Should've Ended This Week's Self Help Radio

(Sorry, I don't remember where I found this.)

Self Help Radio 02152: Bitterness

& so it is, on the day after Valentine's Day, Self Help Radio decided to focus on bitterness.  Not just the feeling but also the taste.  Not everyone is bitter on Valentine's Day.  For those who are, the show may be a comfort; for those are not, it may be a curiosity. For those who like the taste of things that are bitter, the show means something else entirely.

By the way, it's really hard to find images using the keyword "bitter" or "bitterness."  Lots of pictures of bitter beers.  So apologies for the homemade image up there.  I'm not bitter about it or anything.  It's just - c'mon people who share their images! Be more creative! Do I have to do everything?

The bitter show is at both the Self Help Radio KBOO page & on the Self Help Radio website.  Should you listen at the latter, please remember the username/password combo (which is SHR/selfhelp) to download.  All the stuff that happens on the show is listed below - should you want to listen till the bitter end.

Self Help Radio Bitterness Show
"Bitter" The Ocean Blue _See The Ocean Blue_
"Bitter" Lush _Gala_
"Bitter" Meshell Ndegéocello _Bitter_ 

introduction & definitions an interruption by Ned Dry

"Bitterness" Millie Foster _Deep Soul Moments - Sometime, Someplace, Somewhere_
"Bitterness" The Sweetest Ache _Jaguar_
"You Can't Get Bitter" Bill Hicks _Love, Laughter, & Truth_
"Bitterness Of Life" Bruce Ruffin _Rain_
"Bitterness Is Sweet" Postal Blue _Of Love & Other Affections_

definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000

"Sweet Bunch Of Bitterweeds" Dub Dickerson _Boppin' In The Dark_
"Bitter Honey" Jackie De Shannon _Laurel Canyon_
"Bitter Dregs" People Like Us _A Fistful Of Knuckles_
"Bitter Wine" Fanny _Fanny_
"Bitter Tea" The Fiery Furnaces _Bitter Tea_

interview with self-help author of Why Be Bitter? Dr. Gene Charles

"Bitter Feelings" Larry Phillipson _Cuca Records Rock 'n' Roll Story_
"Bitter Rain" Barbara Dane _I Hate The Capitalist System_
"Bitter Woman" The Facts Of Life _Just The Facts: The Complete Kayvette Recordings 1975-1978_
"Bitter Lager Cider Ale Stout" The Lancashire Hotpots _Never Mind The Hotpots_
"We Drink Bitter" The Cannanes _Witchetty Pole_

interview with herbalist Dr. Doug Ward

"Love Grows Bitter" Billy Butler _Chicago Cool Breezin'_
"The Bitter Herb" Jonathan Richman _O Moon, Queen Of Night On Earth_
"Bitter Wind" Sweet Marriage _Psychedelic Schlemiels 2 (More Lost Sounds From The Britpsych Scene 1967-1969)_
"Sweet Bitter Love" Marcia Griffiths _Sweet Bitter Love_
"Bitter With The Sweet" Tony & Tandy _You Better Believe It! Vol. 2_ 

interview with taste specialist marine biologist Dr. Herbert Schmecken

"Bitterblue" Melanie _Unchained_
"Very Bad A Bitter Hand" His Name Is Alive _Home Is In Your Head_
"Bitter Virtue" James _La Petite Mort_
"The Bitter Thoughts Of Little Jane" Timon _Nuggets II (Original Artyfacts From The British Empire And Beyond 1964-1969)_
"It's A Bitter Pill To Swallow" Marvin Gaye _M.P.G._
"The Bitterest Pill (I Ever Had To Swallow)" The Jam _Direction Reaction Creation_

idioms using the word bitter

"To The Bitter End" Bobby Hill _The Original Northern Soul Album_
"The Bitter End" Howard Tate _Howard Tate_
"The Bitter End" The Boomtown Rats _V Deep_
"Bitter End" Felt _The Pictorial Jackson Review_
"Bitter End" The Rileys _Swings & Roundabouts EP_
"Till The Bitter End" The Magnetic Fields _Distortion_

conclusion & goodbye

"Take The Bitter With The Sweet" Muddy Waters _The Chess Box_
"Burnt Sugar Is So Bitter" Elvis Costello & The Imposters _Look Now_
"Bitter" This Mortal Coil _Blood_
"The Bitter Air" Lorelei _The Bitter Air_

Whither Bitterness?

(image from here.)

In the moments directly after Valentine's Day, Self Help Radio is there to pick up the pieces, with a show about bitterness.  For those feeling bitterness, it's perhaps some validation; for those who have successfully avoided bitterness, it's cautionary.  Something for everyone - whether you've struggled with bitterness & whether you've somehow avoided it somehow like a superhuman.

We'll also talk about & play songs about bitter things - I mean, we have three hours to fill!  Plus some interviews.  & the other nonsense we always do.

Midnight to 3am - it may seem Valentine's Day evening, but it's Tuesday!  On 90.7 fm KBOO - kboo.fm. It may not make you feel less bitter - but seriously, at this point, what will?

Preface To Bitterness: One More Thing About Dating

(from Obvious Plant)

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, of course.  Self Help Radio had a Valentine's Day show last week.  Tomorrow night at midnight there's a new Self Help Radio - but tomorrow night at midnight it's not Valentine's Day.  It's February 15.  & everyone knows February 15 is World Hippo Day.

Don't worry!  You can listen to this week's show - about dating - at the Self Help Radio website.  But wait!  There's more!

Should you want, you can listen to last year's Valentine's Day show - which had the theme "Make You Mine" - by clicking this link here.

Alas, I have no more Valentine's Day shows on my website, but.  When my other show, The Dickenbock Report, aired on April 8th of last year, which was Pygmy Hippo Day, I played a few hippo songs.  You can listen to that show here.  If you're not feeling Valentine-y.

Remember!  All shows need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) if you wanna listen.

Happy Valentine's Day to all the dating hippos out there!

Valentine's Day Dating Movies

(image from the IMDb)

This year's Valentine's Day show - which you can totally still listen to at the Self Help Radio website - was about dating - & naturally our resident cinephile Chuck showed up to talk about some movies which had at the very least one date in each of them.

Here is his YouTube playlist of films tagged with 'dating.'
Here is (in his words) a "bonus YouTube playlist of films tagged with 'cult-film' and at least partly in the Romance genre (some just barely)."

Here are a pair of links from the IMDb which show films you can stream elsewhere for free:
films tagged dating
films tagged cult-film + romance

You can read Chuck's Letterboxd reviews of the films he watched here.

Chuck uses the IMDb for keyword searches:
here are the ones tagged dating
here are the ones tagged cult-film + romance

& of course you can find out what he's watching at all times on his Twitter feed.

Maybe there's something here to watch with a date on Valentine's Day!

National Dickenbock Report Caught Without An Umbrella Day

(image from here.)

The Dickenbock Report didn't air this week either.  You'll recall, the show wasn't on the air last week - or else it was, but it was the wrong episode - & it sort of aired this week - well, it started very late - 47 minutes of dead air preceded the show - but of course that meant a good deal of the show wasn't heard.

Like last week, this happened through no fault of my own.  In both cases, I had shows prepared.  In both cases, Freeform Portland volunteers made the mistakes that caused the shows I had prepared to not air.  Oh, & of course I received no apologies from either of them - or even station management!

If I seem a bit angry, it's because I am.  My radio shows are quite shabby, & it's probably a shock to most listeners that I spend a great deal of time on them.  If I had done something as thoughtless & careless as these two volunteers, I would be so very apologetic & I would do something to make it up to them.  Because I imagine that everyone devotes the same if not more time than I do on their shows.  & had I somehow completely disrespected their work - even by accident! - I not only would attempt to make amends, I would also expect to be reprimanded, & I would deserve it.

But from the way things have happened, that does not appear to be the Freeform Portland way.

In any event, you weren't ever going to listen to the show, but in the very small chance you want to hear it, to prove to yourself that I couldn't possibly have spent hours working on it, & maybe even mock me for my outrage, I have put it on the Self Help Radio website.  Yesterday was National Umbrella Day, & so I played lots of songs & talked a lot about umbrellas.  Here is a direct link to the show.  Remember you'll need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - to listen.

Heavy sigh.

Self Help Radio 020822: Dating (Valentine's Day 2022 Show)

(original image here.*)

It's true, Valentine's Day is almost a week away, but this is the closest Self Help Radio can get to the day without missing the day.  & anyway, it's on a Monday, & all the Valentine's Day dates are happening this weekend.  If anything, we're just a tad bit early - anticipating the love fest from Friday to Sunday, as it were.

You can see the playlist below to note that we covered all aspects of dating: first dates, blind dates, double dates, even speed dating & online dating.  & that's just in the songs - we had five different interviews too!

It actually felt a bit like a speed date.  But unlike a date, as I was driving home alone afterwards, I felt all right.  But then I had a wife & five cats & dogs to come home to.  Hey!  That was what I was missing in my dating days!  A romantic partner & pets to return to when the date went bad!

You can listen to the show now at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website.  You know at the Self Help Radio website you'll need the username SHR & the password selfhelp don't you?  All right.  Have a listen, & see all that happens on the show below.

& happy Valentine's Day!

Self Help Radio 220208: Valentine's Day 2022 - Dating

"First Date" Mark Wynter _The Very Best Of Mark Wynter_

"First Date" Nella Dodds _This Is A Girl's Life: The Complete Wand Recordings 1964-1965_

"First Date" Tijuana Panthers _Carpet Denim_

introduction & definitions

"Gotta Getta Date" Jan & Dean _The Complete Early Years_

"Let's Go On A Date" Andrew W.K. _Close Calls With Brick Walls_

"The Dating Handbook" David Cross _HBO Special_

"Date Night Pt. 2" Bad Idea _I Just Want To Go Home_

"Fear Of Dating" The Nonpareils _Little Darla Has A Treat For You, Volume 4 Summer 1996_

interview with online dating expert Derek Slater

"Date With Destiny" Mental As Anything _Fundamental As Anything_

"Computer Dating" Theoretical Girls _Theoretical Girls_

"Online Dating Material" Aziz Ansari _Buried Alive_

"Blind Date" Chia Pet _Hey Baby_

"Why Do You Have To Go Out With Him When You Could Go Out With Me" The Brilliant Corners _Creamy Stuff (The Singles 84-90)_

interview with Hollywood game show producer Denver Smith

"Got A Date With An Angel" Pat O'Malley _They Called It Crooning: The Smooth Singers Of The 20s & 30s!_

"I've Got A Date With A Dream" Billie Holiday _The Quintessential Billie Holiday, Volume 6 (1938)_

"My Blind Date" Woody Allen _The Night Club Years 1964-1968_

"I Took My Head On A Date" Po! _Horse Blanket Weather_

"I've Got A Date With Jesus" The Magnetic Fields _Quickies_

interview with dating researcher Dr. Phil Nicklin

"Real Date" Insignificant Other _I'm So Glad I Feel This Way About You_

"Blind Date" The Boomtown Rats _Tonic For The Troops_

"Horny Priests (Dating Service)" Jim Florentine _Terrorizing Telemarketers Vol. 3_

"Girl I've Got A Date" Alton Ellis _The Story Of Jamaican Music: Forward March 1958-1967_

"Expiration Dating" Future Teens _Hard Feelings_

interview with Steve Roper, who hasn't had a date in twenty years

"Too Young To Date" D-Day _Just Can't Get Enough: New Wave Hits Of The '80s, Vol. 1_

"The Lighter Side Of Dating" The Monochrome Set _Strange Boutique_

"The Top 10 Things To Never Say On A First Date" MC Lars _The Zombie Dinosaur LP_

"Crazy Date" The Crazy Teens _Rockabilly Red Hot & Rare - Volume Three_

"Dream Date" Ida _Ten Small Paces_

cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about films featuring dating

"Date Bait" Blue Smitty _The Chess Story 1947-1975_

"Everybody's Got A Date But Me" Gene Vincent _The Best Of Gene Vincent_

"My First Big Date" Terri Robbins _They Sang In Pittsburgh - Vol. 1_

"Blind Date" Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution _Lancelot Link & The Evolution Revolution_

"I Have A Date" Simpletones _I Have A Date_

"Guitar Date" The 5.6.7.8.s _Bomb The Twist_

at this late date, a definition of terms

"We Got A Date" Hasil Adkins _Out To Hunch_

"Secret Date" The Bobbyteens _Young & Dumb_

"Dating Batman" Cars Can Be Blue _All The Stuff We Do_

"Worst Date Ever" The Charles Edward Cheese Band _Let's Eat Pizza!_

"Order For Date" Dan Mintz _The Stranger_

"Speed-Date" Arab Strap _The Last Romance_

conclusion & goodbye

"Is She Really Going Out With Him?" Joe Jackson _DIY: Starry Eyes - UK Pop II (1978-79)_

"Date With An Angel" Game Theory _Blaze Of Glory_

"I Hate Dates" The Side Eyes _So Sick_

"San Francisco Dating Life" Hot Flash Heat Wave _Soaked_

* "Dates?" by .::RMT::. is licensed under

Whither Dating (Valentine's 2022 Show)?

(image from here.)

Valentine's Day is one of those days that I like to make radio shows about but which I like to find different themes for - so far on Valentine's Days past, I've explored love, hate, crushes, jealousy, boyfriends, girlfriends, love songs, lovesick, "love is...", valentines, famous lovers, heartbreak, sweethearts, roses, flirting, the heart, & the phrase "make you mine." (Those links will go to show playlists, not actual shows - although perhaps the last couple are still available.)

In any event, just like with Halloween, I like to come up with a different theme for the Day each year, & this year I've settled on "dating."  It came to me like a lot of the ideas I get for these shows - I was thinking too hard about it, & fretting about it - I left the theme off the front page for two weeks - it just said "Valentine's Day 2022" - until I was not thinking about it, & it came to me.  Dating.  Why the hell not?

Myself, I haven't been on a real date ever - but certainly not since I've been married - I don't really count going out with one's spouse a date - so I am no expert, but there will be guests & songs that may inform the theme.  Will the show get you a date?  It will not.

Listen! Tonight! Almost a week away from Valentine's Day! Midnight to 3am on 90.7 fm KBOO Portland, online at kboo.fm.  At the very least it will be romantic.

Preface To Valentine's Day 2022: Online Dating

(image from here.)

Dating is hard & I was terrible at it.  I didn't date at all in high school, when I had a car, & I didn't have a car most of the time I lived in Austin, when I would have had most opportunities for dating.  The truth is, I'm not sure that I ever had a proper date, opting instead to "hang out" with someone in the hopes that there might be romance.  Almost certainly anything that might have been construed as a date in my past was advertised & presumed to be just two friends spending time together.  If it ended with something romantical, it was always a surprise to me.

One thing is true: I never went on a blind date.  I met potential partners through work, or the radio, or in class.  I met two of the women I've had long-term relationships with - including the one I married, with whom I've been in a relationship for two decades - at a bus stop.

In the mid-90s though a few of my friends, unlucky in love, began meeting prospective matches in chat rooms online.  These seemed less expensive & slightly less weird than arranging a date through what were called "personal ads" in the back of alternative weekly periodicals.  I did myself do some online chatting, & wrote emails to strangers I met online, but although I was somewhat awkwardly flirty, I never encouraged anything romantic because of the same reason I never had a blind date - I did not want to have any expectations shattered, as they almost certainly would be.

Listen: a few times girls called me on my radio shows & asked me out.  I would tell them to come by the show.  More often than not, meeting me in person was a huge disappointment for them.  They could easily leave because I had a show to do; sitting across from me at a restaurant would have been torture for them.

But I was paired up & on my way to marriage when dating apps started being a thing.  I probably would have avoided them, too.  Not because I have some weird judgment about them - I don't!  If I thought I had the slightest physical attractiveness, I would've done everything the way the people I knew did them: invited people to visit me from chat rooms across the country; went on blind dates; even made a dating profile for the personals.  I just knew that I make terrible first impressions.  What might be interesting about my musical choices is not reflected in my ugly mug.

Whether online dating is a good or bad thing depends on the user - I have no opinion.  It's such a big part of so many people's lives now, though!  I am impressed.  & also glad I don't have to use it.  Because like I said, I wouldn't.  & people would think I felt too good for it or something.

Maybe if there were an app for meeting people at bus stops...