Whither Howard Gently Year Two?

(Ditko background found here.)

To explain today's show in a nutshell: I had a friend called Russell. We knew each other for a long time. For many years he would appear on Self Help Radio in improvised interviews as my spiritual mentor the Rev Dr Howard Gently. Gently was a new age charlatan to whom I was enthralled. He appeared regularly for many years.

Sadly, Russell died earlier this year. He was too young & it was a shock that I am still not recovered from. In his memory, to show how much I appreciated his contribution to my show, I have been playing all his appearances in order. I am up to his second year, so the show is called "Howard Gently Year Two."

If this sounds fun, despite the sad circumstances, listen to Self Help Radio today from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland. That's at 90.3+98.3fm & online at freeform portland dot org. I miss my dear friend but am so grateful we made these recordings & I still find them so funny. Maybe you will too.

Preface To Howard Gently Year Two: Time

(An image - who knows where from - I sent to Russell on his birthday in 2017.)

This week I am going to play more bits by my friend Russell (you can read why here + for more info you can search for his name on this blog) as my spiritual mentor the Rev Dr Howard Gently. These will be from the second year he did the character so I'm calling it "Howard Gently Year Two."

Listening to these made me go down something like a rabbit hole. I found email exchanges (yes, I have saved all my email) from 1997 when he was trying to make plans with me. It was enlightening - I just didn't remember all the day-to-day stuff - & also a bit saddening. Here is one of the exchanges - he asked me to leave a message if I called - my comments are in italics:

-----

> I always leave a message.  I always imagine you're screening the call.  I

> sometimes wonder if I've offended you somehow, 

You usually have

> in which case I try to either a) be an asshole, or b) be apologetic.  Generally, 

> I count on your good humor & the fact that one day, you will kill me.

Rest assured

-----

It's been very hard to live in a world without him. But gosh it's amazing he can still make me laugh out loud with his humor even though he's no longer here.

Just Another December 12th

In 2018, in Fort Worth, Texas, I took a picture of a bird of prey at the top of a tree.

In 2020, in Portland, Oregon, I took a picture of myself in a filthy mirror.

Gosh, I wonder if I took any pictures at all on this December 12th. Maybe I'll know in the future.

Victim Of The Movies

(image from the IMDb)

Our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by the show last week to talk about films involving victims, which was the show's theme. Go to the Self Help Radio website & listen. Then use these links, provided by Chuck, to follow up & find out more!

Here are two YouTube playlists of films & trailers:

Part 1 (1932-2003)

Part 2 (2004-2023)

Here is his Letterboxd list. Here are his Letterboxd reviews.
Here is the IMDb list of films available to stream for free.

Here is Chuck's IMDb keyword list.

Here are the direct links for Chuck: Twitter,  Bluesky, & Substack.

Please enjoy!

Self Help Radio 120723: Victims

(original image here)

As far as I can tell, there were no victims of this week's Self Help Radio show about victims. Though of course the program wasn't victimless. All the songs were, in some sense, victims. Or about victims. Or has this metaphor been too hopelessly stretched & mangled to the point that it no longer retains even a small amount of the original attempt to say something mildly amusing about a radio show about victims?

Though it is admittedly a weird theme for a radio show, I felt like it came together all right. Though the glue of the show is the oddball interviews. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

Listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website. Use this username/password combo to access: SHR/selfhelp. Check out the playlist below because it says also what happens in-between the songs.

Okay then.

Self Help Radio Victims Show

"Victim Of Circumstance" Mike & The Censations _East Side Story Vol. 2_

"Victim Of Circumstances" Roy Junior _Back From The Grave Volume Two_

"Victim Of Circumstance" Joan Jett & The Blackhearts _I Love Rock & Roll_

introduction & definitions

"Victims Of Chance" Tandyn Almer _Along Comes Tandyn_

"Victims Of The Night (feat. Ann-Margret)" Lee Hazlewood _The LHI Years: Singles, Nudes, & Backsides (1968-71)_

"Victims Of The Darkness" Allen Toussaint _Life, Love, & Faith_

"Victims Of The Dance" Tuxedomoon _Desire_

interview with "burn victim" Jeff Simmons

"Burn Victims Suck" Love, Calvin _Mr. Joy_

"Victim One" Foxx Bodies _Vixen_

"Amnesia Victim" Bob & Ray _The New! Improved! Bob & Ray Book_

"Everyone's Victim" Lisa Germano _Happiness_

interview with lawyer Josie Sutton

"Victim Of Circumstance" The City _Now That Everything's Been Said_

"Victim Of Me" Descendents _Hypercaffium Spazzinate_

"Rock-N-Roll Victim" Death _...For The Whole World To See_

"Victim Of Mass Production" The Cribs _Ignore The Ignorant_

interview with actor Joe Sawyer

"Victim Of Love" Freddie May & The Power Plant _Victim Of Love_

"Victim Of Love" The Cars _Shake It Up_

"Victim Of Love" Charles Bradley _Victim Of Love_

"Victim Of A Foolish Heart" Bettye Swann _The Complete Atlantic Recordings_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about victims in movies

"Victim Of Environment" The Improper Bostonians _Gee, I'm Gonna Miss You_

"I Fell In Love With A Fashion Victim" The Rosehips _The Rosehips_

"Special Victims & Ice-T" John Mulaney _New In Town_

"A Victim Of Gravity" The Tokens _Schoolhouse Rock: Science Rock_

interview with writer Jim Street
+

conclusion & goodbye

"When The Victim Takes The Tyrants Place" Frank Tovey _Grand Union_

"Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal" Half Man Half Biscuit _Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road_

Whither Victims?

(image from here)

"Victims" is a pretty dark theme for a show during the holiday season, it's true. Why on earth would I do a show with the theme "victims"? I have four possible ideas:

1) For whatever reason, our cable box has been set on I think the USA Network as a default for months. The show "Law & Order Special Victims Unit" is always on. & while I do enjoy looking at the elfin beauty of Kelli Giddish (I never have the sound on, so I have no idea what she sounds like), I am mostly unfamiliar with the show & don't want to watch it. But I see the word "victims" all the time.

2) This is something I occasionally worry about. I look at the list of themes on the Self Help Radio web page & I get to the letter V & I despair that - except for all the Valentine's Days shows - there are so few themes I've covered that begin with the letter V. Maybe I thought I might do one before the year's end.

3) This is something that's been happening recently: I am mishearing familiar lyrics. It's like my brain is preparing me for dementia. So I was listening to the first Tin Machine record a few weeks ago & the song "Prisoner Of Love" has been stuck in my head but I keep singing "Victim Of Love." Why? Who the hell knows?

4) That's also number four - who the hell knows why I picked this theme?

What I do know is that the show about victims - which will have a lot of interviews - will air today from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland, which is on the air at 90.3+98.3fm in town & online everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org. & do not despair - listening to the show won't make you a victim - it'll make you a survivor.

Preface To Victims: Peanuts Victimization

Here are three different Peanuts strips that mention different kinds of victims. I of course do not own these. I scanned them from the excellent Fantagraphics Peanuts collections. They are also from different times & I am too lazy right now to identify just when. Let's just enjoy them, shall we?

Shane MacGowan RIP

(image from Wikipedia)

This morning on my KBOO show I played three hours of music by Shane McGowan, from the Nips to the Pogues to the Popes. You can listen to it now at the KBOO web site. It wasn't meant to be comprehensive, I didn't try to tell his story, I just wanted to play his music. I hope that I did him justice. & if you listen, I hope you like.

Jury Duty

(no idea where I found this, sorry)

In lieu of having anything interesting to say today, I share with you a poem I wrote twenty-five years ago, called "Jury Duty." It really was inspired by my first experience with jury duty. My second experience happened earlier this year. Anyway. You will be relieved to note I don't write poetry anymore.

flea dip, someone strangle me with wire from a murdered

folksinger's guitar. your honor, one lawyer is funnier

than the other, i fear that will influence my decision as

a juror. lonely downtown morning, pretty girl on a bike,

crossing against the light. i am not long for this world.

every song i like leads me around & around, like i am

chasing my tail, eating my tail, finding a strange broken

heart to consume, finding it's mine. your honor, i don't

deserve the six bucks you're gonna pay me for this, &

you're prettier from farther away. contempt of courtship.

your handclap's out of time, i won't listen to dr. israel

with you no mo, mon. the only light in the room is green

light from a fleakiller contraption, & i find myself a

blinking, flirting with it. like with the space between 

notes in a song, between heartbeats, where i want to stop.

the day doesn't feel wasted, surrounded by bitter & sad

fat men, really, really fat, thinking of ways to get out

of serving, why so cooperative, then, why not lie? why do

i get funny looks when i can't imagine a life sentence for

such a young man? just for robbing someone at gunpoint?

amusing lawyer, petulant prosecutor, pock-marked judge man,

austin turns cold & gray, i like it when the rastafari rap.

Self Help Radio 113023: Magda's Birthday Show 2023

This was an actual conversation between my wife (who is the person for whom I do birthday shows this time each year) & me about this show:

Me: Did you like the show?
Her: Well... I don't really like birthday songs.
Me: But it's the thought that counts?
Her: (pause) Sure.

That's what I call true love!

Here is that show, featuring not only a lot of birthday tunes I've never played before, but also interviews with listeners who want to tell us about the most favorite birthday present they ever received, is now available to be listened to at the Self Help Radio web site. This information is helpful - username SHR, password selfhelp. The show has lots of songs & interviews & all are noted below.

Happy birthday to you!

Self Help Radio Magda's Birthday 2023 Show

"The Birthday Waltz (with the Knaves)" Mavis Rivers _The Complete Tanza Recordings 1949-1952_

"Happy Birthday, Baby" The Four Knights _Jivin' & Smoothin' Original Recordings 1951-1959_

"When’s Your Birthday, Baby?" Vince Eager _The World's Loneliest Man_

introduction

"Birthdays" Teen Angst _Barn Sour_

"Happy Birthday Syd" Pete Bentham & The Dinner Ladies _What's On The Inside Has To Come Out_

"Baby On My Birthday" Skating Polly _Chaos County Line_

"Edie's Birthday" Honestly Same _Hot Plate Only_

listener Marty Young talks about his favorite birthday present

"Happy Birthday" Jenn Champion _The Last Night Of Sadness_

"Lisa's Birthday" Florry _Sweet Guitar Solos_

"Birthday Cake" Teen Idle _Nonfiction_

"Birthday Song For The Dead" Josephine Foster _Domestic Sphere_

listener Montgomery Yeardley talks about his favorite birthday present

"It's Your Birthday" Vera Ellen _It's Your Birthday_

"Happy Birthday To My Girl" Gary Wilson _Tormented_

"Happy Birthday To Me" Luv Clowns _Love Clowns_

"Birthday" Middle Class Fashion _Girl Talk_

listener Matt Yankle talks about his favorite birthday present

"Birthday Girl" Tru Art _Mixed Emotions_

"Birthday Girl" Pop Levi _Juicy Diamond_

"Birthday Girl" Boo Frog _Boo Frog_

"Birthday Girl" Fortune Teller _Birthday Girl_

"Birthday Girl" Amber Smith _My Little Servant_

listener Mandy Yates talks about her favorite birthday present

"Second Birthday" Dear Nora _Three States: Rarities 1997-2007_

"Birthdays Are Sad" Girl For Sale _Seaspeak_

"Plans For My 31st Birthday" Boy Miez Girl _No More Than A Game_

"Happy Birthday" Kokomo _The Collection_

conclusion & goodbye

"Poem On His Birthday" Dylan Thomas _Reads_

"Birthday Girl" Cold Country _To Providence_

"Birthday Girl" Sparhawk _Lost Hawks: Unreleased Recordings 2006-2011_

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2023?

Every year around the time of her birthday, my wife gets a radio show. From me. I've been doing it for almost as long as I've known her - & almost as long as I've done Self Help Radio.

This radio show consists of songs about birthdays. "That seems dull," I imagine you saying. "The same dumb birthday songs every year." Ah, but it's not that. I have some rules. I always have some rules.

For example, I never play the same recording twice. This means, for example, you might hear the Beatles' "Birthday" - a very famous birthday song - many times, but only once have I played the famous recording from The White Album. All the rest have been covers.

Another rule is that I personally have to like the song. There are quite a few birthday songs. It turns out there are a large amount of them - the vast majority - that I simply don't enjoy. & artists don't make a lot of new birthday songs. So while I find a handful each year - subdivided by whether I actually like them - I spend a lot of time unearthing ones I've forgotten.

Does my wife appreciate it? To be honest, I don't even think she knows I do this.

& so I say this is a birthday show for you too! If it's your birthday today - or if you had a birthday this year - or if you have a birthday coming up - here are lots of birthday songs for you!

Your birthday party/radio show is happening from noon to 2pm on 90.3+98.3fm in Portland & online at Freeform Portland dot org. I made that cake up there so - oh dear. My wife has already eaten it. Well. It is her birthday show after all.

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2023: The Old Complaint

Every year around this time I am faced with the knowledge that there are a finite number of birthday songs I liked (as opposed to an infinite number I don't) & I need to dig deep for ones I've missed. Because I have done now like twenty of these shows for my wife & it's harder each year.

Of course I keep doing it because I love her & I think she's flattered by it. Although I did ask her what he favorite birthday presents have been & she didn't say, "The one you make for me every year on the radio." So maybe she doesn't care?

One day I'm just going to play birthday songs I don't enjoy. No I won't. I could never do that. Sigh.

Back into the stacks to find more songs!

Mirror Universe

That's a picture I took on this day five years ago. I was living at the time in Fort Worth, Texas. It might explain why the trees have so many leaves this close to winter. In Texas, the first really cold night usually happens around Halloween, but if that doesn't happen, it'll get really cold over Thanksgiving. It might warm up again in early December, but the cold weather in November will fool you every year into thinking winter has begun.

My mother left my father when I was four. He was a drunk. My mother started dating someone when I was around eight. That person was also a drunk, but my mother didn't move in with him & kept him at arm's length. My mother was a deeply superstitious person. Which is why it was so weird when he gifted her this decorative I guess you'd call it picture which was a canvas with pieces of a broken mirror on it, arranged artistically but not reassembling the mirror.

It's not something I talked to my mother about. If she has seen me break a mirror, she would've screamed as though I had swallowed a bomb. Perhaps she thought the bad luck caused by breaking so many mirrors (he had several in his apartment) resided solely in him. & he truly was someone who had had many, many misfortunes in his life.

As for the bad luck caused by broken mirrors, how did it work? Don't ask me - I don't know the mechanics of superstition. Like, does breaking the mirror alert demons? My mother thought such questions impudent. She didn't have to explain, she just knew it was true.

The mirror above wasn't broken, someone just put tape on it as though it had been broken. Fooling the demons, I suppose. But maybe it brought bad luck anyway - someone left it on their lawn. To be given away.

Or maybe it's not a mirror after all? I hadn't really looked at the picture. I don't remember the circumstances of taking the picture - it was obviously on a dogwalk but that's all I can say for certain. Maybe it wasn't artistic, the placement of the tape. After all it looks like it has a kind of vent - what mirror has a vent?

Honestly I should pay more attention. I was focused, then as now, on the reflection of the tree.

Something Something Sleep Something

Do you sleep? What's that like? Do you sleep many hours in a night?

Do you dream? Do you remember your dreams? Do you dream of places you haven't been in years?

Do you wake up in the middle of the night? Does it take you as long to get back to sleep as it did to fall asleep in the first place?

Do you nap? Do you wake up confused after every nap? Isn't it weird that you still love to nap?

Do you know how much you should sleep? Do you fear you don't sleep nearly enough? Do you refrain from keeping track because you know you're not sleeping enough?

Seriously, do you sleep? Seriously - what's that like?

Self Help Radio 112323: Wool

(Original image from the Wikipedia.)

Well. Wool. Here's a radio show about wool. I almost wrote "not everything you ever wanted to know about wool" but I suspect there aren't a lot of average people who have wanted to know too much about wool. I also hesitate to write "everything you never wanted to know about pool," because I'm just not certain that wool generates such antipathy. So what else can I say but "Here's a radio show about wool."

Talking to a neighbor about this show, I was asked, "Why not songs about sheep?" I replied, "That's a whole other show!" In fact, I had forgotten about this, but it's a show I did five years ago. So I didn't say that. & the neighbor said, "I guess you like specific themes for your show." I said I guessed I did. Then the neighbor said, "Maybe too specific."

Listen to a too-specific episode of Self Help Radio now or anytime at the Self Help Radio website. Please remember to use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to listen. Lots of things happened on the show. They are listed below. Please enjoy.

Self Help Radio's wool show

"Wool" Ben Chatrer _Wool_

"The Boy In The Woolly Sweater" Ann Sydney _Girls Of Jukebox Favorites, Vol. 5_

introduction & definitions

"Wooly Bully" Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs _Wooly Bully_

"Pull The Wool" The U.S. Stamps _Let's Dig 'Em Up!!! (18 Killing Garage Lashes From The Pulverizing 60s)_

"Curious & Wooly" Bridget St. John _BBC Radio 1968-1976_

"From The Lambing To The Wool" Priscilla Herdman _Darkness Into Light_

interview with Nathan Warden of the American Woolgatherers Society

"Starry Eyed & Wooly Brained" Tall Dwarfs _3 EPs_

"Wool & Water" Basque _Radiate_

"Wool In The Wash" Crying _Beyond The Fleeting Gales_

"Woolgathering" Islet _Soft Fascination_

interview with Norbert the wolf

"You Can't Pull The Wool Over My Eyes" Helen Ward with Benny Goodman & His Orchestra _Queen Of Big Band Swing_

"Dyed In The Wool" The Young Knives _Superabundance_

"Dyed In The Wool" Widowspeak _Almanac_

"Red Wool" Slow Steve _Adventures_

interview with entrepreneur Nick Wortham

"Wind Wool" Sarah Mary Chadwick _Sugar Still Melts In The Rain_

"Wool Eyes" Knitting _Knitting_

"Wool, Cotton, Lace, & Snow" Snowpoet _Wait For Me_

"California Cloaked In Wool" Dutch _A Bright Cold Day_

our librarian friend Carole stops by!

"Cotton Wool (Fila Brazillia Mix)" Lamb _Cotton Wool_

"Man Of Wool" Dhafer Youssef _Electric Sufi_

conclusion & goodbye

"Rock & Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools" Half Man Half Biscuit _90 Bisodol (Crimond)_

Whither Wool?

(Quick! Make me a coat! Image from here.)

Hey! Happy Thanksgiving! I think I'm glad Self Help Radio is on a Thursday but know I have to always deal with this particular holiday because it's always on a Thursday. This is better than Mondays tho - there are so many more holidays that happen on Mondays. So I'm cool with being on the radio for a couple of hours when no one else will probably do their show live this week.

& of course you may have noticed that the show's theme is the not-very-Thanksgiving-ish topic "wool." My wife asked me just the other day asked me, "Why are you doing a show about wool?" To which I responded, "Because I want people to listen to the show!"

That sort of sarcasm is normal in our household & she more than anyone understands there are sometimes 

no real reasons for why a particular theme happens. Or rather, she knows that as I age, as my faculties fade, as I stare at a list of upcoming themes & wonder "when did I write that?" - she knows that sometimes I won't remember the reasons why I've chosen to play a bunch of songs about a topic. Ergo, wool.

Wool it be any fun? You bet it wool! But don't take my word for it - tune in today from noon to 2pm - either in Portland at 90.3+98.3fm or online at freeform portland dot org! After that I wool hardly talk about wool ever again. Insert fleece pun here.

Preface To Wool: Wool Puns

(Image from this page, also where the puns are.)

You know I occasionally make interstitial bits for my show, hoping to be funny or entertaining. But I've been kinda lacking creativity & motivation this week, so I thought instead of making you endure wool puns of my own devising, I'd let someone else do it. Also, I'd do it on the blog instead of on the radio, hopefully lessening the offense. Here then from punsteria.com are a few wool puns. Go to the page to see them all. Some of them I'll admit I don't quite get. But maybe they're just terrible puns.

1. I was going to tell a great sheep pun, but I didn’t want to pull the wool over your eyes.

2. Ewe won’t believe how soft this wool blanket is!

3. The sheep told me his favorite hobby is wool gathering, but I think he’s just pulling the wool over my eyes.

4. I went to a store that sells wool only on Sunday. It’s the weekend’s newest trend: Sundae Wool!

5. Why did the sheep go on a diet? She felt a little too wool-rounded.

6. What did the lamb say to the shepherd? “I’ve always wanted a wool mate like you!”

7. You know you’re getting old when you start finding comfort in wool socks.

8. The sheep told me he was on a tight schedule because it was wooly urgent.

9. Why do sheep never have stress? They’re always feeling so wool-relaxed.

10. I tried to teach my dog to knit, but all he did was unravel the ball of wool.

11. Some people say sheep are foolish, but obviously, they’ve never seen a wool-class education.

12. The sheep traveled to Egypt, not for wool, but because he heard that Cairo is full of shear delights.

13. Why do sheep make terrible detectives? They always get caught up in wool-gathered theories.

14. I told my friend I’m learning how to spin wool, and she said I must be quite the wool-winder.

15. I took my dog for a walk in his wool sweater. He looked a little sheepish, but boy, was he warm!

16. Ewe will always find me with wool on my mind!

There are many, many more at that link. I don't think they're all that good ("wool-relaxed"?). But at least on that page they have Tom Swifties.

1. “This wool sweater feels so soft,” Tom said sheepishly.
2. “I’ve run out of yarn,” Tom said in a threadbare voice.
3. “Don’t pull on that wool, it’s delicate!” Tom said warily.
4. “The sheep’s wool is so fluffy,” Tom said baaah-shfully.
5. “This wool coat fits perfectly,” Tom said snugly.
6. “This wool blanket is the perfect companion for a chilly night,” Tom said warmly.
7. “The wool in this sweater is itchy,” Tom said scratchily.
8. “I’m making a woolen hat for winter,” Tom said captivatingly.
9. “I prefer real wool over synthetic fibers,” Tom said naturally.
10. “This wool scarf is too long,” Tom said lengthily.

These are mostly awkward but we need more Tom Swifties in our lives so I'll allow them.

Anyway, none of this tomorrow. You're welcome.

Movies For Chameleons

(Chuck didn't talk about this movie even though it was about a chameleon.
Image from the IMDb.)

Our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by the show last week to talk about films involving chameleons, which was the show's theme. No, wait. He didn't. I mean, he did stop by. He just talked instead about films involving disguises. Which wasn't quite the show's theme. Anyway, do yourself a favor & go to the Self Help Radio website & listen. Then use these links, provided by Chuck, to further enhance your viewing experience:

He has eight (!) YouTube playlists of films & trailers:

Part 1 (1913-1949)

Part 2 (1950-1967)

Part 3 (1968-1978)

Part 4 (1979-1988)

Part 5 (1989-1998)

Part 6 (1999-2007)

Part 7 (2008-2014)
Part 8 (2015-2023) (Chuck's still working on this list)

Here is his Letterboxd list. Here are his Letterboxd reviews.
(He writes, I put the links to available videos in the notes for the films plus where they are available to stream for free.)

Here is the IMDb list of films available to stream for free.

(He is still working on this list, & he adds, There is duplication with of some on YouTube but quality is sometimes better, & their availability may be for limited time.)

Here is Chuck's IMDb keyword list.

Chuck says:

I posted about some of the films on Bluesky (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead & give me a follow. I usually follow back).

He adds:

I tweeted about some of the films on Twitter (right now it's just all the links seen here, but go ahead & give me a follow. I usually follow back).

Here are the direct links for Chuck: Twitter,  Bluesky, & Substack. He adds, "I may write an article about them on Substack, someday, but in the meantime you can subscribe for free."

Thanks, Chuck!

A Brief Word About Dying Twitter

(image from here)

A year ago, I tweeted something about the state of Twitter, & the paraphrase is something like, "The saddest thing to me about the death of Twitter  is that it was an easy way to tell musicians I played them on the radio." I think I made a point that I am lucky that I get to choose all the music I play, & that I would hate not having that venue to tell the artists I play I'm playing them.

Sunday morning I looked at Twitter for the first time in forever. Many of the political folks I followed are long gone. I found myself reading openly racist, openly antisemitic, openly hateful stuff - tweets from accounts I don't follow - & not really seeing stuff from people I care about.

Since mine is a music show, I've followed a lot of musicians, & I guess at some point I thought that that might be insulate me from some of the ugliness. After all, what do the Nazis & the bots care about me playing some indie band?

But the other day I noticed (Twitter didn't inform me) that there had been on several of my tweets about songs I was playing new responses. There was a note that they might be offensive. Maybe they were. They were all in Russian. This is not something that had ever happened before.

In my heart I knew there would come a time when I'd be leaving what had once been a fun & vibrant place. This is not the time, but I am no longer going to live-tweet my shows. I'll keep announcing when I'm doing shows & when I know what I am going to play, I'll tag the available bands - I did that for the Dickenbock Report yesterday & I'll do it for Corporate Standardized Programming tonight. But it's just a prelude to the end. It seems to be getting worse daily. It's no place to hang out.

One of the things I do want to avoid is anything Facebook-related. I do have a Facebook account but not an Instagram account & I don't want to join Threads. I have a Bluesky Social account but it's far more of a social site even though it apparently was created by people involved with Twitter.

It's weird when something that is so routine - I have been live tweeting my shows for almost a decade - just disappears. But so be it. It's not going to get better. It's not worse the time & effort.

How I wish there were a better way to tell the musicians/artists I'm playing that I'm doing it! It was always such a thing way to show appreciation.

Self Help Radio 111623: Chameleons

(original image here)

No matter how much it tried, Self Help Radio could not change colors today & blend into the radio landscape. It, sadly, stuck out like the sore thumb of radio it is. However! As a show about chameleons, Self Help Radio played lots of music about chameleons & had lots of guests somehow involved with chameleons. So all's well that end's well. Except maybe it didn't end well. How I wish I could just disappear!

The show is available now at the Self Help Radio website. You must remember to use the username SHR & also the password selfhelp to access. Lots of things happened on the show, the details are below.

If you'd rather listen to the Chameleons than this show, though, I totally understand.

Self Help Radio Chameleons Show

"Chameleon" Elton John _Blue Moves_

"Chameleon" Labelle _Chameleon_

introduction & definitions

"The Chameleon" The Saints _Prehistoric Sounds_

"Two Chameleons" Dalek I _Compass Kumpas_

"Chameleon" Dark Day _Exterminating Angel_

"Music For Chameleons" Gary Numan _I, Assassin_

interview with chameleons-as-pets advocate Paxton Arch

"Chameleon Day" Talk Talk _The Colour Of Spring_

"Chameleon Blues" Bill Morrissey _Inside_

"Chameleon" Tim O'Brien _Chameleon_

"Chameleon Girl" Nits _Da Da Da_

interview with "the Human Chameleon" Pip Aparo

"C'mon Chameleon" The Research _Breaking Up_

"Chameleon" Marshmallow Coast _Ride The Lightning_

"Chameleon" James _Fresh As A Daisy: The Singles_

"My New Tattooed Chameleon" Annie Hamilton _Annie Hamilton EP_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about films featuring chameleons disguises

"Chameleon" Animanz & Juanita Euka _Exotic Other_

"Chameleon Blues" Ruud Hermans & Dick Van Altena _Lonely 2_

"Chameleon" Jacco Gardner _Cabinet Of Curiosities_

"Chameleon Eyes" Marta Del Grandi _Selva_

interview with writer/director Preston Argyle about his new film "The Chameleon"
+
conclusion & goodbye

"Karma Chameleon" Me First & The Gimme Gimmes _Are We Not Men? We Are Diva!_

"Chameleon Bones" The Valery Trails _Chameleon Bones_

"Chameleon" Ruby Pins _Ruby Pins_

"Chameleon/Comedian" Kathleen Edwards _Voyageur_

Whither Chameleons?

(A frightened chameleon turns black! From the Wikipedia page.)

It's going to sound dumb but. After I saw the Chameleons in September, as I moseyed back to my car in the cool night, I walked past some people who were probably a lot younger than I am & who were certainly far more inebriated than me. They were sitting at a table at a closed cafe talking to people who were leaving the show. They asked about which band they had seen & someone said "The Chameleons." One of them asked "How could you see them did they blend into the stage?" & they started laughing. Okay, maybe they weren't drunk, they were high.

In any event, it was probably the first time I really thought about the animal the band named themselves after. Were they at all like chameleons or was that just a cool name? What were chameleons like? & finally, like all my trains of thought, they stop at the depot that's marked "could I do a radio show about this?" Could I do a radio show about chameleons?

It turns out I could & I will. Self Help Radio's show about chameleons will air today! this afternoon! from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland. In town the station's at 90.3 & 98.3 fm & online it's at freeform portland dot org. As I mentioned yesterday there will be no songs by the Chameleons on the chameleons show - but they served as inspiration so they will be there in an important way.

Preface To Chameleons - No, Not Those Guys

(image from the Chameleons Band Official Fan Page Facebook group)

In case you didn't know, one of my dumb rules about my themes is that the song has to fit the theme, not the band. So even though I love The Chameleons & could easily play hours of their music & talk about them, as far as I know - & I should know! - they haven't written any songs about chameleons so I can't play them on the show about chameleons.

It's been quite amazing actually - I discovered them in 1986 right before they broke up & despaired of ever seeing them live. But I got to see Chameleons Vox (a band led by the singer) in Ohio in - maybe it was 2015? - then again here in Portland in 2019. & since one of the original guitarists (he's on the right in the picture) has rejoined the band, they call themselves the Chameleons once more, & I got to see them in September. It was great.

But I can't play them on the show about chameleons. Alas!

Something You Don't See Around Here

This is something you don't really see in Portland, or at least I haven't noticed them as conspicuously: piles of bricks.

The other day I was talking to my friend Jon in Lexington & he mentioned some place in our old neighborhood there & I was looking at Gogoel Masp & I was struck by how many brick houses were there. We don't have a lot of brick houses in Portland. I mentioned that to my wife & she said, "I know! I hate it!"

One thing is true, I have a lot of pictures I took in Kentucky of bricks. The one above I took on this day in 2015. You might be saying to yourself, "C'mon, Gary! How many pictures of bricks can you have taken?" I can't tell you the total number but of the ones I saved, here are the ones from 2014, the year I started taking pictures on our dogwalks. Spoiler alert! It's four!

One thing to mention is this is just the piles of bricks (or in one case loose bricks on a walkway). I took way more pictures of brick walls &etc.

There's only one picture I've saved of a brick wall in the last couple of years in Portland. & that's because they don't really build things with bricks here, at least (as far as I can tell) as often as they do in Kentucky. & let me tell you - my wife hates it!

Wild Times At Wee Gertie's

There's a poem recited in the darkest & dankest halls amongst the worsening & worst. It's not a poem you would ever hear - why would you? - but it's kept in memory just in case. You never know when, in the course of the average workaday day, a working person might be hankering for a bit of verse. It is then when recitation might be an option - but maybe not even then.

Have you heard that pram, though, you might be asking. The answer is of course no. One doesn't often find oneself in the darkest & dankest halls in this day & age. Indeed, one is more likely to suffer through the half-hearted misheard song lyrics muttered in the dentist or doctor office, or the improperly retranslated muzak impressions which used to be the mainstay of malls.

But is this a crisis of poetry, you worry. The answer is probably not, because let's be honest here we don't want poetry to think there is a crisis. Poetry pretends it thrives in crisis when obviously it does not. Poetry barely manages to get to movies on time. Poetry is more comfortable watching wine & whiskey age than being on the front lines when immediacy is a necessity.

In fact, this poem about which we are speaking is older than most conflicts, older even than most affections. & though it suffers from corruption because of its oral transmission, it retains a kind of purity that's the result of the affection of those who learn it. & again, this is not the time nor place for that poem. Find yourself in the darkest & dankest halls if you really must know it.

Self Help Radio 110923: Hazel

(original image here)

People named Hazel. Hazel eyes. Hazelnuts. Even witch hazel, which isn't related to the other hazel at all. This show about hazel encompassed all the hazels. & maybe more. Did you tell your friend Hazel about it? You really should.

Listen to the show at the Self Help Radio website. Use the username SHR & the password selfhelp. Everything that happened on the show is below.

Seriously, I have nothing more to say about hazel. I used up all the hazel conversation I had for this show. There's only so much one can say about hazel. But luckily it filled two hours!

Self Help Radio Hazel Show

"Hazel" Ken Nordine _Colors: A Sensuous Listening Experience_

"Hello, Hazel" Jule Styne, Helen Gallagher, & Benay Venuta _Hazel Flagg: Original Cast LP_

"Hazel" Onie Wheeler _Onie's Bop_

"Hazel" Ronnie Dawson _Rockin' Bones - The Legendary Masters_

introduction & definitions

"Hazel & Jean" Don Sharp _Rock-A-Socka Hop!_

"Hooray For Hazel" Tommy Roe _Tommy Roe's Greatest Hits_

"What Have They Done To Hazel?" The Swinging Blue Jeans _Hippy Hippy Shake: The Definitive Collection_

"Hazel's Hips" Oscar Brown Jr. _Sin & Soul ...& Then Some_

"Hi Hi Hazel" Geno Washington & The Ram Jam Band _Where The Action Is!_

memories of Shakespeare - with Sir Edwin Porridge

"Hazel Autumn Coca Brown" The Cascades _Maybe The Rain Will Fall_

"High Flyin' Hazel" Larry & The Greatest Of Ease _High Flyin' Hazel_

"Hazel" Bob Dylan _Planet Waves_

"Hazel & Charlie" David Rea _The Brass Ring_

"Witch Hazel" Priscilla Herdman, Anne Hills, & Cindy Mangsen _Voices Of Winter_

interview with aromatherapist Eden Parker

"Hazel" Cocteau Twins _BBC Sessions_

"Hazel" Smack Dab _Majestic Root_

"Slow Fast Hazel" Stereolab _Emperor Tomato Ketchup_

"Hazel" Tim Smith's Spratleys Rats _Hazel_

interview with color researcher Edwin Prince

"Hazel Eyes" The Flower Machine _Lavender Lane_

"Hazel" Weekend _Red_

"Hazel Eyes" Redd Kross _Researching The Blues_

"Hazel Street" Alela Diane _About Farewell_

Ned Dry tells us about one of his favorite television shows

"Hazel" Bobtown _Chasing The Sun_

"Hazel Eyes" Jonathan Byrd & Chris Kokesh _The Barn Birds_

"Hazel" Andrew Combs _Canyons Of My Mind_

"Hazel Woods" Andy Jenkins _Sweet Bunch_

conclusion & goodbye

"Hazel Irvine" The Wave Pictures _When The Purple Emperor Spreads His Wings_

"Hazel" The Woolen Men _The Woolen Men_

Whither Hazel?

(Pantone 17-1143 - Hazel)

It was just time for another color. In fact I can't remember the last time I explored a color on Self Help Radio. Why, I think it might have been turquoise! It did indeed seem like it was time.

Colors are pretty easy themes, especially the primary & tertiary ones - of which I think I have only explored green, & that was something of a nightmare - too many songs! - so naturally I gravitate to the ones that might take a little more work to explore. But why hazel? It can't be because I have hazel eyes, can it? (Or do I? See the previous post.) No, it was just happenstance.

At some point in the past, not the dim past, but let's say sometime in the summer, I was working on a graphic for something & I noticed a color that struck my attention. I didn't think it was beige, but I thought it might look like darkened amber. A quick search discovered that it was close to hazel. & although I have been told I have hazel eyes most of my life, I don't think I ever really knew what that color looked like.

Usually when my brain has to travel some kind of circuitous path to figuring something out, it will say to me, "Maybe that will make a good radio show theme." & so I made a note of it.

& now that theme is today's theme on Self Help Radio. Which you can listen to today from noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland - 90.3+98.3fm in town & online at freeform portland dot org.

Hazel's also a name too so tell anyone you know named Hazel there's a show about them!

Preface To Hazel: Hazel Eyes

(image from here)

That stunning picture above comes from an article online called What Determines Hazel Eye Color? Click above to read it. Here's the thing: since I was a kid, I've been told I have hazel eyes. It's said so on every driver's license I've had since I was 16. But do I really?

My wife just took a picture of one of my eyes. Here it is:

It doesn't look like the one above, does it? I think it's slightly more green.

Have I been living a lie for those forty years? Do I actually have green eyes?

It's a good thing that the show this week isn't about my eyes. More tomorrow.

How To Listen To The 1968 Project

(a Melody Maker page from 1968, from here)

Yesterday I promised you that I'd point you to where you can listen to the six installments (so far) of the 1968 Project. If you don't know what that is, read the previous post on this blog. If you don't care, you're in good company - most listeners don't.

The first three episodes were done as sub shows in late-night timeslots on KBOO, & as such, they were not archived on the station's website. You can listen to them on the Self Help Radio web site, however, but you'll need to make sure you use a username/password combo to listen. Those are SHR/selfhelp. Here are the links:

Part I (November 1, 2022)
Part II (November 15, 2022)
Part III (December 27, 2022)

When Self Help Radio moved from KBOO back to Freeform Portland in the spring, I suddenly had three hours in which I could do & play anything. Sometime in the summer I thought I should return to the 1968 Project. & so I have. Here are the other three shows archived on the KBOO website:

Part IV (July 25, 2023)
Part V (September 19, 2023)
Part VI (November 7, 2023)

These shows (except the last one) are on the Self Help Radio website as well. (I'll put the most recent one up on Friday). You can find them by scrolling on the front page of the website. I don't want to link them here because come January those links will be incorrect & I won't remember to come back & update them.

One thing is true: I find this fun to do. So let me go now listen to some more records from 1968 & maybe I can do one more of these before the year ends.

The 1968 Project, Part Six

(The top four haven't changed since September)

Previously. Don't want to read? I'm using the top albums of 1968 at Rate Your Music to go through & listen to as many full-length records from 1968 & then playing the longest song on the radio. Tonight on Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO, I'll continue to do so for the sixth time.

Tomorrow I'll provide links to the earlier shows. They're all on my website but three of them are also on the KBOO website. (I did two as KBOO sub shows, & those aren't archived at KBOO's website.)

This has been hella fun. Even if I didn't like some of the songs. & I promised I'd do another one after the Fall Drive ends. It's happening tonight.

Midnight to 3am. 90.7fm in town. kboo.fm everywhere. See ya there.

Self Help Radio 110223: Rumble

Do you hear that rumble? Might there be a rumble? Rumbling promises more rumbling! & certainly there was two hours of rumbling on Self Help Radio this week.

In case you do listen to this show - I know you didn't listen when it aired - I do feel like I should let you know it's a fundraiser show - every time I talk, I ask for financial help for the station. I am in a strange position because I've been at so many radio stations, nearly all my friends are in radio. & I feel awkward asking them for support when they do the same at their stations. So I hope someone who might listen, who might appreciate the shows I do or at the very least the kindness of the station that airs them, I hope they might feel moved to make a donation. If that is you, reading this, go to the Freeform Portland donation page. & again, if you listen to the show, there's a lot of this kind of hat-in-hand talk on the show.

Meanwhile! The show itself is now at the Self Help Radio web page. Please use the username SHR & the password selfhelp to access. Everything that's on the show - minus all the donation talk & the silly spots I made for the fund drive - is listed below.

Thank you for listening & thank you for your support.

Self Help Radio Rumble Show

"Rumble" Link Wray & His Ray Men _The Link Wray Collection 1956-62_

"Rumble, Rumble, Rumble" Betty Hutton _American Songbook Series: Frank Loesser_

"Rumble Chillen" Albert Williams _The Sun Blues Box_

introduction & definitions

"Rumble Boogie" Don Cherry _The Don Cherry Singles Collection_

"The Rumble Drum" Marais & Miranda with the Pardo Ancient Instrument Ensemble _Ballads Of Long Ago_

"Rumblin' Tumblin' Baby" The Emeralds _Condition Your Heart_

interview with nutritionist Dr. Dale Newton

"Rumble In The Jungle" Don Covay _Hot Blood_

"King Of The Rumbling Spires" Tyrannosaurus Rex _The Definitive_

"Rowche Rumble" The Fall _Dragnet_

interview with geologist Dr. Dean Neighbors

"Rumble At Joe's" Sue Evans _Rumble At Joe's_

"Rumble On Mersey Square South" Wimple Winch _The Wimple Winch Story: 1963-1968_

"Rumble With The Gang Debs" Tullycraft _Disenchanted Hearts Unite_

Sir Archibald Von Poesy reads a poem live!

"Get 'Em In A Rumble Seat" Harry Reser's Six Jumping Jacks _Volume Two_

"Rumble Seat" Bobtown _A History Of Ghosts_

"Rumbletrain" The Mighty Lemon Drops _Laughter_

interview with fight enthusiast Dick Neff

"A Rumbling In The Land" Julie Felix _The Second Album_

"Rumble" Robin & Linda Williams _In The Company Of Strangers_

"Rumblin'" Neil Young _Le Noise_

conclusion & goodbye

"Rumble" You Am I _You Am I's #4 Record_

"Rumbler" Black Lips _Sing In A World That's Falling Apart_

"Rumbling Joker" Robert Pollard _Waved Out_

"The Rumble" Original Broadway Cast _West Side Story (1957 Orginal Broadway Cast Recording)_

"Trucker's Rumble" Deadbolt _Voodoo Trucker_

Whither Rumble?

(It's Rumbling Bridge! Image from here.)

First of all, there's no mistake there - the theme is "rumble." Not "rumbling." There is a tendency I have (& perhaps you do too) to have the theme be a noun, so one wants to make any theme which might be a verb into a gerund for the sake of some kind of sense of agreement. But you know what? I don't mind the awkwardness of a theme like "rumble."

But why do a show with a theme that's a verb or at best a possible weird noun? For me, it's all about onomatopoeia. As you know because it's the best sounding figure of speech & one of the easiest to understand, onomatopoeia is when a word is made by the sound it makes. Like beep. Or snarl. Or buzz. It occurred to me - & frankly I didn't check this before I started planning the show - I hadn't done a show with an onomatopoeiacal theme in a long time. & my brain started liking the word "rumble."

One thing I discovered is that I sure have a lot of versions of Link Wray's "Rumble." The song itself is collected on my records & it's covered by lots of folks. I never knew it was so beloved!

Let's get ready to rumble on today's Self Help Radio which airs noon to 2pm on Freeform Portland which is on the air in town at 90.3+98.3fm & online at freeformportland dot org. I'll also be asking for you help for the Fall Drive today so to preemptively give, become a Friend Of Freeform right now by going to our Patreon site. Just think of how many more shows with oddball themes like "rumble" are possible with your support!

Preface To Rumble: Rum Balls

(These rum balls don't rumble. Image from here.)

Confession time: though I love to cook, I'm not that good at baking. If I told you why I think that is, you would laugh at me, so I'm not going to say so. But one other reason is that often with baking if you follow the recipe exactly you might screw up because I believe like with gardening one needs to have a knack for baking. A kind of "yeasty thumb," if you will. But please don't.

Here's a recipe of vegan rum balls. They seem easy enough - & I love when people try to veganize recipes, I've done that a few times for non-dessert-y things, with mixed results. I haven't had a rum ball in a while & I am struck by how little rum goes in them. I might double the rum content. Or just finish the fifth of rum you bought for the recipe thinking you'd need more than a couple of tablespoons. Wow.

Rumble & rum ball are kinda homonyms, or rather, homophones, as people constantly correct me these days. It's like there's another kind of synonym out there that everyone has always called a synonym & then suddenly everyone's like "if it means the same but it's often considered not, it's a synophone."

Just as I wrote that, I wondered if there really were something called a synophone. I found only this reference on the internets, from here:

To my understanding, heterographs are words that have different meanings, different spellings, but sound the same. Synophones are words that have different meanings, different spellings, & sound similar but not the same.

So, ball & bawl would be heterographs, while ball & bell would be synophones.

This is what I get for trying to be sarcastic & make things up. Enjoy your rum balls!

Halloween Thoughts

It's Halloween night, I am beat, it's been a while since kids came to trick & treat. Guess it's nearly over.

What I did for Halloween is made three radio shows - Self Help Radio's was new, it was about ghost towns (not so scary); the Dickenbock Report was a kind of repeat from a show I did about nightmares ten years ago; & Corporate Standardized Programming was three hours of Halloween songs. I'd share them but Halloween is nearly over.

Also I bought some candy & my wife bought some Halloween bags & I put the candy in the bags & I sat in front of my house & handed them out tonight. I had thirty-six bags to give & have fourteen left. We didn't get a lot of kids. I think it might be because I didn't use the Next Door dot com "treat map." I'm always a little leery of interacting with that app.

In case you're wondering, no, I didn't dress up. I'm not a dressing up kind of guy. I don't think I've dressed up for Halloween since I was a kid. At least nothing elaborate. The kids were very cute tonight. A lot of Harry Potter. One kid, probably in middle school, was dressed as Jason from Friday The 13th. I said, "Take a bag but don't kill me!" He laughed at this.

Here's something I don't think I've seen before: parents following their kids while holding glasses of wine. It's a Portland thing I guess.

Kinda glad the holiday is over. People around her sure love it though. I need to work on another radio show!

Two Halloween Things

Happy All Hallow's Eve Eve! Here are two Self Help Radio related Halloween things:

1) Almost all of the Halloween shows I've ever done for Self Help Radio are archived on the Self Help Radio Halloween page. The most recent one - ghost towns - is on the front page. It wasn't all that scary though. Maybe I won't add it to the Halloween page later.

2) Tonight's episode of Corporate Standardized Programming on KBOO - airing midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in town & online at kboo.fm - will be a mishmash of Halloween songs. You don't have to stay up late to listen tho - it'll be at the show's page in time for tomorrow.

Now I need to get ready for Halloween! I am making little treat bags for the trick-or-treaters. If they come by. They hardly ever do but in case they do.