Self Help Radio 112519: Magda's Birthday Show 2019

(Original image from here.)

My wife's birthday week begins now!  Her birthday is on the first of December, but I felt it would be weird to do a birthday show after her birthday, so she got a birthday show one week in advance.  You'd think she'd appreciate a thoughtful husband like me but she instead thinks I'm cheap & should buy her a "real present."

She doesn't know how cheap I am!  This show is basically recycled - made up of songs that originally appeared on the first six or so birthday shows I made her (circa 2005-2010) plus funnies from a couple of shows I did in 2014 & 2105.  It was so easy I might do it again!  It's certainly more economical than listening to hours of birthday songs to find the three or four I like.

But it's all for love!

If you like birthdays, or want to listen to a birthday show when your birthday comes around, or just want to hear me talk about & play songs about birthdays, you can listen to the show now & on anyone's birthday at Self Help Radio's website.  There's no cake & ice cream left but you'll need a password (selfhelp) & a username (SHR) to listen.  What's on the show, including the in-between bits, is listed below.

Happy birthday!

Magda's Birthday Show 2019

"Birthday (Icelandic)" The Sugarcubes _Birthday 12"_
"Happy Birthday" Altered Images _I Could Be Happy: The Best Of Altered Images_
"Happy Birthday" Concrete Blonde _Free_

introduction & explanation

"Birthday" CJ Buchanan _Wives Of The Saints_
"The Happy Happy Birthday Song" Arrogant Worms _Gift Wrapped: The Best Of The Arrogant Worms_
"The Birthday Party" George Carlin _When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?_
"Unhappy Birthday" The Smiths _Strangeways, Here We Come_
"Sad Birthday Song" Girlfrendo _Surprise, Surprise It's Girlfrendo_

surprise phone call to the birthday girl!

"Sparkle Plenty Birthday Party Part I" Ben Aronin _Sparkle Plenty Birthday Party_
"Birthday Party" The Pixies Three _Growin' Up Too Fast: The Girl Group Anthology_
"You Are Allowed 20 Birthday Parties" Patton Oswalt _Werewolves & Lollipops_
"It's My Nose's Birthday" Jimmy Durante _The Great Schnozzle_

interview with birthday planner CJ Buchanan

"Birthday" The Ruby Suns with Esau Mwamwaya _Mojo Presents The White Album: Recovered_
"Birthday Lady" Emitt Rhodes _The Emitt Rhodes Recordings (1969 - 1973)_"Happy Birthday" The Innocence Mission _We Walked In Song_
"There's Always Someone's Birthday" Erik Halldén _Memories, Oh, The Memories_
"Happy Birthday You" Jay Jay Pistolet _Happy Birthday You_

birthday gift advice from the Rev Dr Howard Gently

"Happy Birthday To Me" Rose Melberg _Portola_
"Birthday" The Besties _Home Free_
"Birth & Death" Lewis Black _Stark Raving Black_
"Phil Spector's Birthday Song" The Sleazy Beats _Pure Spun Sugar_
"Yer Birthday" Casper & The Cookies _Oh!_

interview with party planner Allen from Surprise! It's Tom! For your party!

"Happy Birthday (Yet Another)" The Bambi Slam _Happy Birthday (Yet Another)_
"Birthday Wishes" Happydeadmen _Game, Set, Match_
"Birthday" Boris Smile _Young & It Feels So Good_
"Birthday" Shonen Knife _Fun! Fun! Fun!_

conclusion & goodbye

"Happy Birthday" Will Powers _Dancing For Mental Health

Whither Magda's Birthday Show 2019?

(I can't remember where I found this, sorry.)

Every year Self Help Radio has been on - well, almost every year - fifteen of the eighteen years it has been on - sixteen if you count this year - for some reason I skipped 2003 & 2005 - but I won't skip this year! - or next year, if anyone's expecting that - where was I? - oh yeah every one of those years I would reserve the episode of the show around the time of my wife's birthday for a birthday show filled with songs about birthdays just for her - well, the first birthday show I let her pick all the music - then I realized she would pick the same songs every year - that was troubling to me - so I let "birthday" itself be the theme - & this year as I've said will be no different!

Except it will.  This year will be the first Self Help Radio birthday show in Portland & I decided to revisit a few of the older shows - I am focusing on 2005 - 2010, actually - & play songs from those shows this year.  Why?  Haven't I been talking about that on this blog?  But wait, there's more!

Since 2014 I have been interviewing people on the show - people who are pretending to be experts about the show's theme - but who are in reality funny people I know - & tomorrow I will feature a few old interviews from previous birthday shows - in effect, it'll be like an old "clip show" - which the Wikipedia defines as "an episode of a television series that consists primarily of excerpts from previous episodes" - except you know Self Help Radio is not a television series (not yet, anyway) - & the excerpts will mostly be songs I played over a decade ago - so I'm not entirely sure it counts as "primarily of excerpts" - though the show will have new content - me hosting the show live on the air!  That's new!

So if you are having a birthday tomorrow - or if you've had a birthday this year - or if you plan to have one later this week or this month or this year - you can think of this week's Self Help Radio as your birthday show!

Listen tomorrow from 6-8am on Freeform Portland!

Unfortunately, my wife gets all the presents & cake.

Preface To Magda's Birthday Show 2019: Do-Over

Yesterday I wrote about my disdain for radio shows that basically program the same show every year for holidays or whatever, playing the same songs over & over, & how in a sort of reaction to that I deliberately choose to rarely if ever repeat myself with both themes & even holiday themes.

The reason I brought this up was because, for maybe the first time, I'm going to repeat myself for my wife's birthday show.  I said I'd tell you just why I'm doing that on the blog today, & so I shall.

Reason number one: I've never done a birthday show in Portland before.

Yeah, that's true.  Listeners here haven't heard the first fourteen or fifteen birthday shows, so they might be confused why I'd have a birthday show & not played a favorite - which I might have played over a decade ago.  & the show has just been on the air for like two months - how the hell is anyone to know I don't repeat myself?

Reason number two: I haven't really been looking for new birthday songs.

This is also true.  For some reason I just haven't taken the time to look for new birthday songs.  I have a handful, & some from last year I didn't play, but I don't know if it's enough to program two hours.  That's on me, I know - I certainly could take the time & dig for more birthday songs.  But then there's...

Reason number three: Sleep deprivation.

As I wrote here on this blog a week ago, I haven't slept a lot recently.  In fact, earlier this week I got very little sleep because I did three shows on three different radio stations within about four days. Sleep happened in snatched moment.  My thought about basically re-running an episode of Self Help Radio - not really a re-run, more a clip show - was that I could perhaps get a little sleep this week.

Have I?  I have!

Wait, did I just say "a clip show"?  What does that mean?  I'll talk about that tomorrow.

Reruns

As a rule, I'm opposed to doing the same thing on Self Help Radio.  I don't repeat themes unless they're holiday-related (including my anniversary) & even then I try to make them "new," whether playing Christmas music I've never played before on my Christmas show or coming up with a new Halloween-related theme on my Halloween show.

Why do I do this?  I guess I've listened to too many lazy themed shows in my life.  At one station I deejayed at, there was a blues program that played Elvis all December long.  His Christmas music.  He's not even a blues performer.  A whole month of programming just thrown out the window because, for some reason, the programmer believed the same Elvis songs they played every year should be played around Christmas.

Perhaps I am rebelling against that sort of radio show.

Except.  This week, I'm sort of doing a rerun.

It's for the annual birthday show I've done around the time of my wife's birthday every year.  In eighteen years of Self Help Radio, I've programmed fifteen years of birthday music for her.  That's a lot of birthday songs.  & I have to confess: there are plenty more.  There are as many birthday songs as there are Christmas songs.  Or at least almost as many.

One thing I used to say is that, however, the majority of those songs (like the majority of Christmas songs) aren't very good.  I don't think that's true.  I simply don't like the majority of those birthday songs.  You might.  Saying something is good or bad is a subjective opinion stated as fact & I find that boorish & limiting.

In any event: not this year.  I am sort of creating a rerun this year.  To be sure, I'll be in the studio at Freeform running the board & doing the airbreaks.  But I will choose from a selection of birthday songs from the past fifteen shows & replaying some of my favorite fake interviews from the last few years.

But why?  Why now?  I'll tell you tomorrow.

Pandaemonium

If you'd like to hear the sub show I did last night - which was of a heavy metal show, but I am not a heavy metal guy - so I play lots of noisy indie rock & some of what they used to call "post-hardcore" - but not a lot of punk - you can listen to it at the KBOO Pandeamonium page.

KBOO archives all their shows, which is super cool.  It's three hours long, & feels like it.  Around 2:56am, I wondered where the next deejay was, & she just magically showed up - apparently she was sleeping in the little room in the back where people can dub CDs from the music library.

So lucky I wasn't deejaying in the nude like I usually do.

Self Help Radio 111819: Number One Radio Show

(foam finger from here)

Imagine if anyone actually listened to Self Help Radio & they thought I was really calling the show the "number one radio show"?  I'd catch such shit.  Luckily we live & breathe in obscurity.

They'd be wrong, of course, to think the show was billing itself as the "number one radio show."  It's mainly about being "number one."  Whether being a number one something (fan, son, etc.) or being someone's "number one," it was the idea of a ranked position & not the number itself.  So that imaginary person I invented who bristles at the idea of anyone thinking Self Help Radio is the "number one radio show" can go take a limping leap at the moon.

Still, this might be the number one radio show to examine the idea of "number one."  Let's just say that it is until such time as evidence exists to suggest otherwise.

The show is safely sitting at Self Help Radio dot net when you want to listen.  The number one thing to remember about listening is that you need a username - SHR - & a password - selfhelp - to do so.  What happens on the show is below, songs & interviews.

We're (almost certainly not) number one! We're (almost certainly not) number one!

Self Help Radio Number One Show

"Number One" Etta James _R & B Dynamite_
"Number One" The Exciters _The Golden Torch Revisited_
"Number One" The Sad Sack Set _ Die Frankfurt Szene - Smash ...! Boom ...! Bang ...!_

introduction & definitions

"Number One" Bill Moss _Eccentric Soul: The Capsoul Label_
"Number One" Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge _Natural Act_
"Number One" The Groove Farm _Plug (The Story Of Pop So Far)_
"Number One" Autumn Teen Sound _Seven Summers (International Pop, Vol. 2)_
"Number One" Colleen Green _Sock It To Me_

interview with Rupert Gleam
Ned Dry interrupts

"Being Number One" Black Box Recorder _Passionoia_
"Number Ones" The Push Kings _The Push Kings_
"Cretinous Number Ones" Guided By Voices _How Do You Spell Heaven?_
"I Take It You Are Prepared To Meet Number 1?" The Prisoner _The Prisoner [File #3] (Original Television Soundtrack)_
"The No. 1 Song In Heaven" Sparks _No. 1 In Heaven_

interview with writer/producer of # 1 pop songs Rupert Gleam

"Lonesome Number One" Roy Orbison _Roy Orbison Sings Don Gibson_
"Hello Number One" Kitty Wells & Red Foley _Together Again_
"Number One Son" Camera Obscura _Underachievers Please Try Harder_
"# 1 Must Have" Sleater-Kinney _All Hands On The Bad One_
"Number One Fantastic Day" Helen Love _Radio Hits 3_

interview with seeking of #1 world records Lollop Chumsy

"Number One Fool" The Fabulous Emotions _Northern Soul Fever 3_
"Number One In Your Heart" The Monitors _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 6: 1966_
"Number One Attraction" The Younghearts _All About Love_
"I'm Still # 1 (Numero Uno Re-Recording)" Boogie Down Productions _Jack Of Spades_

a list of seven United States number ones

"My Number One" Gregory Isaacs _The Story Of Jamaican Music (Tougher Than Tough)_
"Number One Station" Dennis Alcapone _High Explosion (DJ Sounds From 1970 To 1976)_
"Number One Fan" Homer & Jethro _Any News From Nashville?_
"Koi No Ban Ban (Number One Edition Of Love)" Linda Yamamoto _Nippon Girls (Japanese Pop, Beat, & Bossa Nova 1966-1970)_
"Number 1 Boy" Astro Babys _Sweet Hot Drive_

conclusion & goodbye

"Tighten Up (Japanese Gentlemen Stand Up Please)" Yellow Magic Orchestra _Kyoretsu Na Rhythm_
"Straight To... Number One (Dreamcatcher's Mix)" Touch & Go _Queer As Folk_
"Girl Number One" Tim Yen Yen _Everything Beautiful Reminds Me Of You_

Whither Number One Radio Show?

(I honestly could have made this myself but I am lazy so I took the above image from this website.)

Let me clear up a misconception.  This week's Self Help Radio is not proclaiming itself to be the "number one radio show."  If there were indeed rankings of radio programs - & I think there might be - Self Help Radio wouldn't even make the list.  No, this week's show is exploring the idea of being "number one."

Maybe you think it's just about the number one.  No, it's about the idea of being "number one."  If it were about the number one, the show would just have the theme "one."

What does it mean, being "number one"?  According to the Urban Dictionary, "number one" can mean:

1) Yourself.  Gotsta look after number one

2) The best, greatest of all time.  He was number one after he won

3) The shortest haircut a guy (or gal) can get.  Check out that bogan with a number one!

4) When you pee/piss/urinate.  Hey I'll be right back. I've got to go take a number one!

For our purposes, I think the show will cover definition number 2.

Do you understand now?  Listen tomorrow morning from 6-8 am on Freeform Portland & you'll understand.  Or maybe not.  There are no promises being made.

Preface To Number One Radio Show: What Is Sleep Anyway?

Do you get a good night's sleep?  Like, maybe six or seven or eight hours of sleep a night?  Really?  What's that like?

If you can indulge me, I'd like to describe an average couple of days - Sunday through Tuesday, so three days - for me.  By the way, there are many ways these days could be organized differently, but that would require foresight by yours truly, & that's not happening.

I wake after a probably drunken sleep Sunday morning.  Hey!  It was Saturday night!

I spend most of the day (there are dogwalks & hopefully a nap & I have to make dinner as well) working on Self Help Radio.  If you don't listen to the show - & maybe if you do - you're not aware of the work I put into the silly interviews, the selection of songs, the somewhat-amusing interstitial pieces.  It takes a while.  I haven't come up with a good system for all this.  I wish I could.  I have tried lots of things.  None seems more streamlined than another.

Usually I get to bed around ten or maybe eleven pm on Sunday nights.  This hurts a little, because it has meant, since I got my Freeform show, I miss John Oliver.  I can see him on Monday but for some reason I like to see things live or mostly live.  Anyway.  We make sacrifices.

What happens is I sleep a fitful few hours.  I wake at 4am, I shower, I gather my things, I head out to Freeform, which is north of here, & about fifteen to twenty minutes away, at 5am.  I stop to get a soda at a 7-11, I like to have a little caffeine, but I am there twenty or so minutes early.  It's who I am.  Don't judge me.

The show happens.  I hope it goes well.  The show that follows mine is awesome & I chat with the deejay.  I drive home, it's 8am, I avoid the highway.  I get home around 8:30.  If the wife is home, we walk the dogs.  Mostly she walks the dogs while I am on the radio.

Around 9:30 I feed my animals.  At some point I have lunch.  It's a haze around that time.  Did I lunch or feed the animals?  Have they eaten me?  I fed them, then.

For two hours - after lunch - I sleep.  It's not always noon to two, but it's around then.  It's not entirely restful or pleasant but it's necessary.  I sometimes oversleep.  I sometimes don't.  What do you want from me?

When I wake, I need to work on my show from XRAY.  Before that, though, I edit my Self Help Radio episode for the website, & write on this here blog, &etc.  I have a rough recording that I have to edit.  I don't change anything about the airbreaks - how could I?  You hear the show as it happened.

The XRAY show gets my attention.  Then, at some point, it's evening, the wife is home, I make dinner, there's the requisite dogwalk.

Sometimes I have the XRAY show done around the time I feed the kids, 9:30 or so.  Sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I can nap from ten to midnight.  Sometimes I don't.

Around 1am, I gather stuff & head out to XRAY (which is across the street from Freeform), & I program the show Sugar Substitute.  I am done at 4am, I head home.

Mostly I get maybe two or three hours sleep before I am awakened for the morning dogwalk.  Some Tuesdays I don't get to go back to sleep until the evening, some Tuesdays I nap after lunch.  But mostly I operate on very little sleep.

Is this sustainable?  Next week I am subbing a show on KBOO on Wednesday night/Thursday morning from midnight to 3am.  When am I supposed to sleep?  What is a good night's sleep, anyway?  As I have grown older, my dreams have gotten more vivid, memorable, & confusing.  I think I enter REM sleep right after I conk out.

Is it because for three or four days of the week, my sleep is erratic & limited?  I wish I knew.

When Will I Ever Learn?

People often say, "When will I ever learn?" after they have done something stupid, specifically something stupid they've done before.  Like buying a car from a family member.

"I bought this 1995 Dodge Dart from my brother Wayne for what I thought was a sweet deal - four hundred bucks!  Now I realize it's because the engine is made of dark chocolate.  Oh when will I ever learn?"

Sometimes, when staring at a screen or an empty page or the sky, a phrase will pop into my head.  If I am in front of a computer screen, I can sometimes type it into a text program or a search engine; if I have a pen or pencil, I can scribble it done; if I am staring into the sky, I can imagine it as if written by precocious birds showing off a little because they can.  & I will say to myself, "Why did I think of that?"

& so a few minutes ago, in regards to nothing, my brain said this to me: "When will I ever learn?"  It was followed by a brief memory of the frontage road that goes from Alta Mere Drive to I-30 in Fort Worth (going east).  That's how I often got onto I-30 on the way to Dallas.  I must've driven that way hundreds of times, so it's natural that occasionally I remember that route, although why I remembered it randomly while thinking of the phrase "When will I ever learn?" is a mystery.

It strikes me that, idioms aside, I really don't know when or if I'll ever learn why some phrases trigger seemingly random visual memories.  That happens more than I care to admit.  & right now I don't care to admit that.

Speaking of "care to admit," check out this lovely exchange, from here:

What is the meaning of care to admit in the context below?
I go to the bathroom, too. Sometimes more frequently than I care to admit.
Why do people use this "than I care to admit" in what situations?

When you're saying something that you don't usually tell anyone, or say in public because you might be embarrassed about it, shy or simply just don't want to tell.

Mostly used in a non-serious way, although there may be exceptions:

I love her more than I care to admit. (basically would mean: I love her more than I really want to tell anyone/her)

I cry whenever I see a sad movie, more than I care to admit. (basically would mean:I cry whenever I see a sad movie more than I want to tell anyone/Let anyone know)

He eats more than he cares to admit (basically would mean: He eats more than he wants to tell anyone)

When Does A Thursday Not Feel Like A Thursday?

When it's Thursday.

Alas, I am too old to submit this wonderful riddle I just made up on my very own to one of my favorite Twitter accounts, Kids Write Jokes.  Here's a recent joke that's amazing:

Why did the banana flush himself down the toilet?

Because he was peeled

This is something I've noticed: people make these accounts & a select few get book deals.  I bet the kids don't see any of that cash, do they?  It's the curators in this society that are making the big literary bucks these days.

Anyway, I am busy writing jokes that people will think kids wrote, & that's a Thursday for me, more a less.

When is it a Friday for me?

When I haven't gone home yet.

Hm.  Better stick to curating.

Self Help Radio 111119: Weird

There's an interesting story about that image up there.  The original (without the SHR logo) was taken by me when we visited Portland in November of 2017.  We had no idea we'd be living here two years later.  The original is a bunch of signs to pointing to hotels & fast food joints, under which (as you can see) someone just posted a sign that said "weird."  I have no idea what the story behind it is.

Portland has the capacity for great weirdness, & that's one of its many charms.  By contrast, the Dallas area has pockets of weirdness but the overwhelming money-grubbing desperation & money-celebrating inebriation of the metroplex makes weirdness a precious commodity.  There never was a "Keep Dallas Weird" campaign as far as I could tell, because Dallas was never really weird.  (I'd guess however there were many "Keep [insert area of Dallas] Weird" campaigns.)

We talk about Portland's weirdness & we celebrate it & we ask for you to support the experiment in free expression that is Freeform Portland on this week's Fall Fundraiser show.  Your support is greatly appreciated!  & I thank Jaxxmaster Kevrock for helping me out today.

Please excuse the long airbreaks - there are super tunes here in-between.  Listen now at Self Help Radio's website & remember the username (SHR) & password (selfhelp).  It's one long two-hour mp3 & what songs I play are below.

Did I thank you for your support?  Give what you can to help out our amazing little station!

Back to the regular weirdness next week.

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Self Help Radio Weird Show

"Weird" The Wee Four _She'll Hurt You In The End (Teener Garage Explosion Volume 2!)_
"Weird" Kicking Giant _Halo_
"I'm Weird" Guana Batz _Loan Sharks_

"Whole Weird World" The Chills _Kaleidoscope World_
"Worlds Gone Weird" Crystal Stilts _Nature Noir_
"Weird On Me" Lloyd Cole _She's A Girl & I'm A Man_

"Weirdo" New Order _Brotherhood_
"Weirdo" The Charlatans _Between 10th & 11th_
"Weirdo (At 25,000 Miles Per Hour)" The Dentists _Deep Six_

"You Make Me Feel Like A Weirdo" Pataphysics _Take A Look Out Your Window_
"All The Weird Kids Know" Built By Snow _Mega_
"Totally Wired" The Fall _Totally Wired: The Rough Trade Anthology_

"Weird Diseases" The Magnetic Fields _50 Song Memoir_
"Weird Heart" The Lovely Eggs _Have You Ever Heard The Lovely Eggs?_
"Weird Son" Cloud Nothings _Leave You Forever EP_

"Some Weird Sin" Iggy Pop _Lust For Life_
"Is She Weird" Pixies _Bossanova_
"Extremely Weird Snakes" The Snow Queen _The Patio Collection Volume Two_

"I Like You Weird" Love Love _Love Love_
"Weirdoz Everywhere" The Prefab Messiahs _Keep Your Stupid Dreams Alive_
"Weird With You" Ex Cops _Daggers_

"Wonder" Colin Meloy _Colin Meloy Sings Live!_
"It's So Weird" Juliana Hatfield _Weird_

Whither Weird?

(Just a shirt.  From here.)

What does it say on the Self Help Radio web site?  "A Weird Show."  I guess it's better than "weirdness."  & it can't be The Weirdo Show, as that was a great radio show that aired on KVRX in the 1990s, & there's no way I can compete with that.  So I guess "weird" covers it?

The show was conceived by me knowing it would be during the Fall Fundraiser, & I wanted to be weird because sometimes my favorite stuff on Freeform is a bit weird.  I thought I could weird it up.  You know?

Be weird with me, listen tomorrow from 6-8am on Freeform Portland.  & think about helping out, please.  We need your help to meet our goal & continue being as weird as possible for you every night & day.

This wasn't terribly weird & I hope to make up for it tomorrow.

Preface To Weirdos: Seeing A Legend

Tonight I got to see Robert Forster of the Go-Betweens here in Portland.  This is one of five cities he's doing shows at in the United States - & tonight he told us this is the first time he's sold out a show in America.  That's super cool.

Anyway, he's playing the west coast, stopping in Chicago & in Canada, & then playing the east coast.  He would never have made it down to Texas.  I feel incredibly fortunate I got the chance to see him.

There were moments of transcendence.  It was just him & a guitar, but something about seeing the person & hearing that voice live felt - well, you know how it feels.  It's the reason to go see live music.

As we were going in, the wife & I were not carded.  The woman at the door asked, "Were you born before 1998?"  I said, "Yes, thirty years before."  & the wife lamented getting old.

For me, I'm just glad I got to see him.  The Go-Betweens broke up before I discovered them, & the reunited Go-Betweens in the early 2000s did not visit Austin.  In fact, their reunion record, The Friends Of Rachel Worth, was recorded in Portland.  Forster sang all of his songs from that record.

My mind goes back to Self Help Radio & fundraising now, but I am very grateful for the opportunity to have seen him.  He was in excellent form & seemed glad to be performing to an audience that appreciated him.

When he did "Head Full Of Steam," I almost fainted.

Fun Draising

This week I wrote an email to close friends & family asking them to help during the Freeform Portland Fall Fundraiser.  I pointed out that no one gets paid by the station - there's no accountant, no Station Manager, no one who gets a regular salary.  We're all volunteers.

Also I pointed out we have a surprisingly small budget.  It's amazing we're on the air, frankly.  I remember lean times at KVRX & KOOP in Austin, & Freeform has half the budget of those stations at the time, which was like the late 1990s & early 2000s respectively.  It's a tribute to the dedication of the station's volunteers that so much time & money has come from those involved to keep this wonderful, anarchic radio experience on the air.

Of the ten people I wrote the email to, four people donated to the station.  It was incredibly fucking kind of them.  One person called to tell me they couldn't donate, which was sweet.  I felt awful writing the email.  I've never asked anyone to give money to the stations I've been involved with.

Someone about Freeform Portland is different.  It is young, it has more possibilities, it just seems closer to my ideal of what independent radio should be.  It has issues, to be sure, & there are many challenges it needs to overcome.  But that's what this Fall Fundraiser is about - making sure we're there to confront the challenges.

Nobody reads this blog but if you're reading this & you want the crazy freedom-of-expression & crazy music lover's dream that is Freeform Portland to survive, maybe throw a few bucks our way at this place on the web.  There are many ways to throw your money away.  This is not one of them.

All The Musicians I Want To See Live Are Dead

That's not true but that's clever & compelling, isn't it?  Why are we drawn to such dumb pronouncements?  People do it all the time, saying something is better than another thing & this one this is the best of all.  Why do we feel the need to frame things in that way?  Why not just say, "I like this"?

It puzzles me.  & as we get to the (sigh) Best Of 2019 season, it'll irk me no end.

Self Help Radio 110419: In The Dark

(The lamp in the picture comes from here.)

It gets darker earlier in Portland than in Texas, where last I lived.  In fact, as the days shorten, it does I believe stay darker longer - maybe by as much as two hours! - than in Texas.  That's amazing.

When I found this out, I thought, "By November, I'll be able to do an entire show in the dark."  & while it may be true that that will happen before the solstice, I was wrong about November - sunrise was at around seven, half way through the show.  (Though there was a light fog turning the world grey, which I appreciated.)  This means that only half of the "in the dark" show was in the dark.  The rest of it was, I suppose, your host's regular condition of being in the dark about most things.

It was also the first Self Help Radio during Freeform Portland's Fall Fundraiser.  Because of the bare-bones nature of the place, I (with the help of deejay Kevrock) talked a lot on the air & begged for financial support but have no idea if anyone did donate any money.  My suspicion is they did not.  But I have no way to know.  If you love the freedom of noncommercial radio, there simply isn't a better investment than Freeform Portland - I urge you to donate what you can to this feisty radio station - & if you mention Self Help Radio sent you, I'll be pleased.

As for this week's show: it's now at Self Help Radio dot net for you to listen to should you be so inclined.  There aren't a lot of bells & whistles although friends of the show found a way to help out, you'll hear.  Remember the username you'll use is SHR & the password you'll pass on is selfhelp.  I hope you choose to help Freeform out.  I owe them a debt of gratitude for hosting Self Help Radio.

Self Help Radio In The Dark Show

"In The Dark" Nina Simone _Nina Simone Sings The Blues_
"In The Dark" The James Hunter Six _Hold On!_
"In The Dark" Magazine _Magic, Murder, & The Weather_

"I Like It In The Dark" Crocodiles _Crimes Of Passion_
"Blues In The Dark" The Soft Boys _Invisible Hits_
"Keep Me In Dark" The Fiery Furnaces _I'm Going Away_

"Whistling In The Dark" Dolly Mixture _Demonstration Tapes_
"Whistling In The Dark" Easterhouse _Contenders_
"Whistling In The Dark" Grass Widow _Internal Logic_

"Romance In The Dark" Billie Holiday _All Of Me (The Columbia Singles 1940-1941)_
"Kissing In The Dark" Memphis Minnie _The Complete Post-War Recordings In Chronological Order, Vol. 3_
"Walking In The Dark" Throwing Muses _House Tornado_

"Talking In The Dark" Elvis Costello _Armed Forces_
"Drifter In The Dark" Ween _Chocolate & Cheese_
"Needle In The Dark" Passenger _Wicked Man's Rest_

"Dancing In The Dark" The Snuggle Ups _Bridging The Distance: A Portland OR Cover Compilation_
"Here In The Dark" Flesh World _The Wild Animals In My Life_
"My Radio Sounds Different In The Dark" The Would Bes _Silly Songs For Cynical People_

"Footsteps In The Dark" Jo Broadbery & The Standouts _Jo Broadbery & The Standouts_
"Faces In The Dark" Generationals _Con Law_
"Winter In The Dark" Jeanines _Jeanines_

"You Light Me Up In The Dark" The Hounds Below _You Light Me Up In The Dark_

Whither In The Dark?

(Image from here.)

Are you in the dark about why this week's Self Help Radio has the theme "in the dark"?  Hey!  Me too!  Let's go over some possibilities:

1) The ideas was conceived in the dark.
2) It had something to do with this Robin Fulton McPherson poem.
3) It was too light.  Too damn light.  & all we could think about was sitting peacefully in the dark.
4) The struggle to resist binary interpretations of the world fails.  We are forced to choose between a life in the light & a life in the dark.  You know which one we chose.
5) We wished all cats were grey.  & then we realized the time when they were.
6) We wondered where you had gone.  You were developing film in the darkroom.  But when we called to you, asking where you were, all we heard was, "In the dark!"
7) Because we used to listen to radio in the dark, under the covers, well into the night.
8) All these reasons & more.
9) None of these reasons & more.
10) & more.

The show happens tomorrow at six a.m. on 90.3 + 98.3 fm Freeform Portland.  Click the link to listen online.  & be prepared - it's our first show of the station's fall fundraising event, so there'll be some begging.  Maybe lots of begging.

In the dark on Self Help Radio on Freeform Portland Monday, November 4, 2019.  Now.  Lights off.

Preface To In The Dark: Moving, Day II

"In The Dark" is the theme of this week's Self Help Radio.  More about that tomorrow.

We woke very early, we packed, we retrieved a U-Haul (not without complications), & we paid two men to carry our things from a rental house to our new house, which was about (let me check Google Maps) one-fifth of a mile, which would be what? A little over a thousand feet?

Still, it's good I didn't have to do all that lifting.  What little I did do in packing up my shit I will pay for in the morning.

We're here!  We have some things still at the rental - we didn't clean out the fridge, for example, which wasn't my decision, it was the wife's, she plans to get all that tomorrow.  I think I have a few shirts over there too.

There wasn't any sadness leaving the place, although our eldest dog isn't terribly happy.  His old age makes his dislike change.  One of our cats as well is not happy - I'm sure putting her in a cage to bring her over made her relive some of the trauma of the four-day trip from Texas to here.  She came out briefly to eat a little, but has hidden in a back closet for most of the time she's been here.

But I do think I'll like this place.  It's cozy.  I have unpacked & shelved about half my CDs.  & hooray, the internet is on!  & there was excellent vegan pizza tonight.  So now I hope to sleep let me see about nine hours.

Oh shit!  I have to do a radio show on Monday!  Okay, make that six hours.  I'll also want to walk the dogs.

Moving Day, Part I

Today is the day we move into our new house.  We are actually buying a house in Portland.  That might mean we're staying here a while.  At least two & a half years.  That's how long we lived in our house in Fort Worth.

It looks like this (courtesy of Zillow dot com):

It's much, much smaller than this place we're currently in.  Maybe half as small?  But the place we're renting is way too fucking big.

Anyway, that's where I am.  I hope I can write tomorrow - but internet might not be on!

All Those Halloween Shows

Once again I remind you there are many, many Halloween shows on the Self Help Radio website - specifically on the Self Help Radio Halloween page - from this year's show about Frankenstein to many other spooky scary topics, like voodoo, black cats, death, clowns, mummies, hell, nightmares, graveyards, haunted houses, werewolves, witches, zombies, monsters, & vampires!  Exactly like that, actually.

The shows span fourteen (14) years & five (5) different radio stations in four (4) states in three (3) different time zones.  That's a free Halloween fact for you right there.

So go listen!  Blast the shows on the porch to really frighten the trick or treaters!  Put a show on when your Halloween party needs to come to an end!  Marvel at how long the show has been on the air & no one is saying anything!

That's probably the most frightening thing of all.

Self Help Radio 102819: Halloween 2019 - Frankenstein!

(The tattoo I got for the show didn't quite work out - but before I added the SHR logo, this photo made its way to this page!)

The monster was created!  The creator was horrified!  The villagers attacked!  The castle was destroyed!  & that was all in the first hour of this week's Self Help Radio!

It was a horrible two hours, & hopefully satisfied the Halloween cravings of the listeners of Portland & beyond.  By horrible it can mean two things: causing horror or unpleasant.  I leave you to find which definition fits the show best.

Listen to the show now at the Self Help Radio website. It's in two parts for some reason, as shown below.  The username is SHR, the password is selfhelp.  Listen responsibly.  Halloween is not for the faint of heart.

Self Help Radio Frankenstein Halloween Show

part the first:

"At The House Of Frankenstein" Big Bee Kornegay _Horror Hop_
"Don't Meet Mr. Frankenstein" Carlos Casal, Jr. _Sin Alley! Volume Four: Filthy, Sleazey 50s Trash!_
"Frankenstein Walk" Gene "Bowlegs" Miller _Barnyard Soul_
"Frankenstein Stomp" Count Lorry & The Biters _Monster Sounds & "Boppin" Tracks, Vol. 1_

introduction

"Mary's Scary Story" Jenny Adkins _Frankenstein_
"Frankenstein" France Gall _Cinq Minutes D'Amour_
"Over At The Frankenstein Place" Barry Bostwick, Susan Sarandon, & Richard O'Brien _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_
"Frank Was A Friend Of Mine" The Smooty Filth _Greenstuff_
"Call Me Frank" The Pink Skulls _Mega Monster Madness_

interview with deceased director James Whale

"Frankenstein Rock" Eddie Thomas _Monster Rock & Roll_
"Frankenstein Conquers The World" Jad Fair & Daniel Johnston _Jad Fair & Daniel Johnston_
"You Can't Get Him Frankenstein" The Fleshtones _Flaming Burnout: An Estrus Benefit Comp_
"Frankenstein Monster Song" One Ring Zero _As Smart As We Are_
"Frankenstein" Aimee Mann _I'm With Stupid_

a conversation with Ned Dry, movie guy

"Monster Mash" The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band _Tadpoles_
"Weird Science" Oingo Boingo _Weird Science OST_

part the second:

"Frankenstein" Gene Moss _Dracula's Greatest Hits_
"Frankenstein Cha Cha Cha" Sigue Sigue Sputnik _21st Century Boys: The Best Of Sigue Sigue Sputnik_
"Frankenstein" Editors _Black Gold_

a visit from Gary's radio dad

"Miss Frankenstein" George Jackson _Bomp In The Night_
"Bride Of Frankenstein" Toy Love _Cuts_
"Bride Of Frankenstein" Ad Frank _Ad Frank_
"Be My Bride Of Frankenstein" Charming Disaster _Spells + Rituals_
"Lady Frankenstein" Matthew Sweet _Tomorrow's Daughter_

an interview with Victor Frankenstein's descendent David Fruchter

"Frankenstein Twist" The Crystals _Twist Uptown_
"Frankenstein" The Cadillacs _The Complete Josie Sessions_
"My Baby's Got A Crush On Frankenstein" Soupy Sales _Up In The Air_
"Frankenstein" Nosotrash _Little Darla Has A Treat For You, Vol. 15_
"Frankenstein" Mouseatouille _Frankenstein_

closing & goodbye

"Dr. Funkenstein" Parliament _Clones Of Dr. Funkenstein_

Whither Frankenstein (Halloween Show 2019)?

(I wish I could remember where I found this.)

When I first conceived of this blog, I thought it might be a nice place to discuss the whys & wherefores of the show, specifically how I came up with the dumb themes that I explore every week.  It turns out that most of the time, I don't really have a big reason for exploring this or that topic.  Usually it's as mundane as "I noticed I was listening to a lot of songs with the same theme."  But this week, there's a reason!  In fact, there are several reasons!

First - it's a Halloween show.  I try to explore a different Halloween-related theme each Halloween, & this year, it's Frankenstein.

Second - I hadn't covered Frankenstein in particular before.  I did play a couple of Frankenstein songs on my Monsters Halloween show a  while back but that obviously wasn't all about Frankenstein.  I have complained I am running out of Halloween themes - I have done shows about ghosts, vampires, zombies, witches, werewolves, haunted houses, graveyards, nightmares, hell, mummies, clowns, death, black cats, & voodoo, & Frankenstein is noticeably absent from that list.

& third - a few weeks ago the theme was people named Frank - & I found several Frankenstein songs looking for music for that show.  It seemed like the universe was trying to tell me something.  & this time, it wasn't "Just die already!"

So tomorrow morning - 6am sharp! - it's Self Help Radio's show about Frankenstein for Halloween 2019.  Listen at 90.3 + 98.3 fm in Portland, & everywhere at Freeform Portland dot org!  It'll be scary!

Preface To Halloween 2019: Woefully Unprepared For This Week's Show

Seriously.  I haven't done much work on this week's show.  Today I spent the day shopping for our new house.  Then I waited at the new house while my wife got our locks re-keyed.  I had to stay in the empty house (we're moving in next weekend) because, you see, there were no locks on our doors.

What to do?  I'll spend all day tomorrow working on the show, of course.  & I'll tell you how it came about that I'm doing a Halloween show about Frankenstein.

Frankenstein means the monster, of course.  It would be weird to have a bunch of songs about Dr. Frankenstein.  Which reminds me - I never got the chance to watch Young Frankenstein as I planned to do before the show.  Drat.

Are you a Frankenstein fan?  I was trying to remember my first memories of the character.  Probably from the comics - although I never quite enjoyed the 1970s horror comics as much as the super-hero ones.  I do remember seeing the James Whale Frankenstein movie at some point & feeling the urge to read Mary Shelley's book - & being a little surprised that the movie took great liberties with the novel.

These are things I'll perhaps talk about on this week's show.  Once I gather materials to put it together.  Which I haven't really spent much time doing this week.  Ah but!  There's always tomorrow!

Portland Drivers, or, Driving In Portland

Initially I was charmed by the slow pace of Portland.  I think I even wrote about the whole "20 is Plenty" campaign here to make the speed limit 20 miles per hour in residential areas.  People in Portland drive slowly.  Very, very slowly.  There are people on the highway doing forty in the left lane.

My wife, who was traumatized by Dallas traffic, rides her bike most of the time, but when she drives, she's very appreciative of the slow pace on Portland's roads.  & again, I found it kinda cool when I first got here.

Then suddenly I had places to be.  & the charm quickly faded.  Did I mention that there are people on  the highway doing forty in the left lane?

It's maddening.  Part of it is, frankly, most people in Portland are terrible drivers.  They really are.  I guess the whole "driving slowly" thing masks that.  In the Dallas area, where I spent an inordinate amount of time the last three years driving a lot, terrible drivers hit speeds of 70 & don't last long.  Here?  They just putter along.

Slowly - though not as slowly as Portlanders drive - I came to dislike the slow drivers of Portland.  My radio shows, for example, are at the other end of the city, & Portland has three highways that service it.  Which means that most of your travel will be on streets.  Streets where the top speed may, if you're lucky, be 35 miles per hour.  Streets that are mostly two-lane - one lane for each direction of traffic.  & if you're stuck behind Mr. or Ms. Twenty-Is-Plenty?  Oh you're not getting where you need to go on time.

All of my Dallas driving skills come rushing back to me & I turn into a major asshole.  & I'm not the only one, of course - when someone seem mad at me, I sort of sympathize with them.  I would rather be treated poorly on the road by someone as irritated & impatient as I am than someone who simply does not understand how shitty it is to drive five miles under the speed limit with no thought to the growing line of cars behind you.

Yeah, yeah, I should leave earlier.  & perhaps smoke what they're smoking.

Sugar Substitute (Episode 169)

You'll recall I do another radio show, not just Self Help Radio, but one called Sugar Substitute, it's on Tuesday Mornings from 2-4am, no one is up to listen, I'm barely awake myself.

The reason I mention this is twofold.  Onefold, you can listen to the show any time you like clicking the link above for "Sugar Substitute," but also last Tuesday's show directly by clicking here.

The other fold is that you might not want to listen to that show, as it was the first of two Fall Fund Drive shows I have to do for XRAY.  It's fundraising season, & I am going to be asking for money on the air for two different stations in a one month period.  You can help out XRAY by donating at their web site & if you do, & do it because I sent you, maybe mention Sugar Substitute?  That would be nice.

Pledge Drives aren't fun but they tend to be the major way non-profit radio stations raise money, so it's a necessary evil.  I wonder why there aren't free-media-loving billionaires out there who could help - dropping a hundred grand on a radio station wouldn't be a burden to any of them - but I understand they have politicians to purchase who will allow them to keep more of their billions.  It's the one thing people who are raised poor or middle-class - & who give a far greater portion of their income to charity - simply don't understand.

In any event - Sugar Substitute.  It's on weekly, even if I tend to be quite exhausted when I do it.

Self Help Radio 112119: Illusions

(Original illusion here.)

According to this website (which does not cite its source), the Buddha said, "We live in illusion & the appearance of things. There is a reality. We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, & being nothing, you are everything. That is all."

I hope the Buddha meant, "That is all," as in, "That is what everything is," instead of like what a boss says at the end of a meeting which means "Now get the hell out of here, I have some heavy day-drinking to do."

Most of us understand illusion to mean something that's not real, either generated by our minds or perpetrated by someone else to fool us.  But if the universe is an illusion, who is doing the perpetrating?  Oh wow man that's some heavy shit.  This is going to be a heavy-ass radio show, isn't it?

Not really.  Is it ever?  You can lose all your illusions, or make some more, by listening whenever you feel the illusion needs it to this week's Self Help Radio, now available at the Self Help Radio website.  Music, interviews, maybe a magic trick or two - though you obviously can't see those on the radio, sorry.  Username SHR, password selfhelp, what's on the two-hour program is listed below.

It might be better to remember the words of the great Pete Shelley: "Life's the illusion, love is the dream."

Self Help Radio Illusions Show
"Illusion" Nat "King" Cole _The Touch Of Your Lips_
"Illusions" The Human Instinct _Singles _1966–1971_
"Illusions" One Way Street _Pass The Caviar_

introduction & definitions

"Illusions" Isolation Ward _Point Final_
"Illusions" Stagnant Pools _Temporary Room_
"Illusions" Shout Out Louds _Optica_
"Illusions" Dinner _New Work_
"The Illusion" Dream Machine _The Illusion_

interview with illusionist David Fruchter

"Want To Buy Some Illusions" Marianne Faithfull _20th Century Blues_
"My Illusions" Sugar Pie DeSanto _Moaning, Groaning, Crying: A Galaxy Of Soul_
"Lost Illusions" Rosie & The Originals _Angel Baby Revisited_
"Optical Illusion" Al Stewart _24 Carrots_
"A Life of Illusion" Spent _Umbrella Wars EP_

interview with lawyer Bobcat Sloan

"I'm Set Free" The Velvet Underground _The Velvet Underground_
"The Desert" Smog _Burning Kingdom_
"Everybody's Happy Nowadays" Buzzcocks _Complete Singles Anthology_
"Monkeyland" The Chameleons _Script Of The Bridge_

interview with body artist Bogogob Smith

"Is This An Illusion" The Mighty Diamonds _Jam Session_
"La Grande Illusion" Television Personalities _...And Don't The Kids Just Love It_
"Season Of Illusions" Ladytron _Velocifero_
"Web Of Illusion" Soul Merchants _1985-1987_
"Velvet Illusions" Velvet Illusions _Pebbles, Vol. 9: Southern California 2_

conclusion & goodbye

"Illusion" Chris & Cosey _Trust_
"World Of Illusion" The Forum _The River Is Wide_

Whither Illusions?

(An illusion from here.)

The first people to dream of radio waves thought they were a kind of magical illusion.  & they were not wrong!  Every new scientific thing is a form of magic - until of course it isn't.  Which is not why Self Help Radio this week is about illusions.

Is it because, as Buddhists believe, this world is an illusion?  In many ways, I'm much more Buddhist than any other religion out there, but even so, no.  No, the show is not about illusion because I am trying to secretly make you listen to Buddhist teachings.  As if anyone could ever associate me with the word "teachings"!

The reason the show is about illusion will be revealed at some point during the show - which happens tomorrow morning (that's Monday the 21st) from 6 to 8am Portland time on Freeform Portland (online at freeform portland dot org) - it will be revealed that all seventeen years of Self Help Radio have all been an illusion!

The greatest illusion ever perpetrated on radio!

Or maybe it won't.  I kinda like this illusion.  We'll see.  Or hear.  Whatever.

Preface To Illusion: My Friend Who Hates Magic

The truth is, I don't have an opinion either way about magic or magicians - I've been entertained by them but I don't know if I'd pay to see one.  On the whole, it takes quite a bit for me to actively dislike something.  But some people hate magicians.

There's that David Cross bit where he describes the magician mural at some airport - is it the Seattle airport? - & his other joke with the punchline, "Yeah, that's my card.  Can I go now?"  That seems more my style - not anger or anything, just kind of weariness, especially with run-of-the-mill types.

Maybe it's because I never learned magic as a kid.  No one ever bought me one of those kits, or one of those books.  I never even learned how to shuffle cards properly.

But I have a friend who despises magicians.  His blood pressure gets up to stroke-worthy levels when he's just near one.  He will cross the street rather than have to walk by a street magician & possibly get roped into one of their tricks.

& there was one time, at a trendy Austin brunch place, we were enjoying our meal & there was a magician there (for some reason)* & he was making the rounds, doing card tricks from table-to-table.  I couldn't see him - my back was to most of the cafe - but my friend obviously could see him & he was unable to carry on a conversation because he was steeling himself for the moment when this itinerant conjurer found his way to our corner table.

But he eventually did, & when he stopped & got our attention & started to ask, "Would anyone like to see...?" my friend exploded like the pressure cooker he was & said, loud enough to be heard back in the kitchen, "NO!!!!!!"

The magician, possibly used to such hate, smiled & went on his way, but I couldn't help bursting out in laughter.  Even if my friend had been molested by some perverted prestidigitator in his youth**, the reaction was so overblown as to be comical.

You know, I keep meaning to get him a magician for his birthday one year.  Well.  There's always next year!

* My friend also hates the musicians that play soothing guitar or whatever at restaurants.  He hates feeling obligated to tip them.
** He wasn't.

Something New To Learn Every Day

A couple weeks back, I revisited an old theme, my favorite music from the year 1969.  On that show, I played a song from Joni Mitchell's album Clouds, which was released that year.  Today, I was browsing a web site which mentioned Joni Mitchell & noticed that one of the songs on that record - it wasn't the song I played - "Both Sides Now" - is apparently so beloved it's been covered by dozens if not hundreds of people.

The song has its own Wikipedia page in which Mitchell herself is quoted as saying, "I had no idea that the song would become as popular as it did."  Is it weird that until today, just by a random look at a web site, I had no idea the song was as popular as it is?

That page - the Wikipedia page - I'm linking to it again - lists ninety-some-odd covers of the song.

Where have I been?  Do I just not listen to the folky/soft rock-y types of music where I would find those covers?  I mean, I know Judy Collins' famous version, but that's about it.

What I wish was on the Wikipedia page was a guesstimate of how much money Joni Mitchell has made from that one song.  Surely it's in the millions now.  Right?  A song that popular can make one a millionaire, can't it?  It's as old as I am, & there are dozens - if not hundreds - of covers of it!

That's something I didn't know that I learned today.  It has nothing to do with anything, but it sure was jarring.

Something I already knew but was reiterated to me today: the vegan pizza game in Portland is strong.

Radio Radio

So, I've done a lot of radio recently - perhaps it's true I'm a boy who can't say no - but this week I just wanted to do Self Help Radio & Sugar Substitute & otherwise take it easy.  But.  I'm a boy who can't say no, so I was asked to sub a show Tuesday, & I did.

You know you can hear this week's Self Help Radio at the website.  Cool.

& you can listen to this week's Sugar Substitute (for the next two weeks) over at its space on the XRAY website.

But did you know you could hear me flail around on the radio on a Wednesday afternoon subbing for the show Borrowed Time on the XRAY website - oh.  Apparently I did something wrong.  So you can't listen to that show online.

Well.  I'm not sure what happened.  So.  Never mind.

Self Help Radio 101419: Comfort

(Original image here.)

The big question is, is Self Help Radio a comfort zone?  Or a discomfort zone?  Or is it, as my wife might say, a place full comfortableness, or uncomfortableness?  Or all three?  Wait, what's the third one?  This conversation is getting...  well, it doesn't make any sense.

& that's probably the nicest thing you can say about this week's show, which purports to be about comfort.  You know, consolation, solace, sympathy.  Can a radio show be comforting?  Or can it simply be about comfort?  Would I have gotten a corporate sponsorship if I had done the show remotely from a Comfort Inn?  The closest one has this recent review: "This hotel is not in the nicest area of Portland, however it is close to Interstate access."  It was a miss opportunity to be sure.

You can listen, comfort be damned, when you want at the Self Help Radio web site.  Username SHR, password selfhelp.  Lots of songs & interviews, all noted below.  Just make yourself comfortable.  Then listen.  It might be the same thing.

Self Help Radio Comfort Show
"Welcome To The Meditation (Please Get Comfortable)" Eugene Mirman _I'm Sorry (You're Welcome)_
"Comfort" The June Brides _Every Conversation: The Story Of The June Brides & Phil Wilson_
"Comfort" Makthaverskan _III_

introduction & definitions

"Comfort Me" Carla Thomas _The Complete Stax-Volt Singles 1959-1968_
"Comfort You" Van Morrison _Veedon Fleece_
"Make Yourself Comfortable" Andy Griffith _American Originals_
"Built For Comfort" Willie Dixon _Willie's Blues_
"Angels Come To Comfort You" Black Francis _Bluefinger_

interview with Brad Benoit of Comfort Conformity

"Comfort Zone" The Murlocs _Manic Candid Episode_
"Discomfort" The Mess Makers _Antipodean Screams, Vol. 2_
"Rest Comfortably" Quiet World _Electric Asylum, Vol. 4: Rock Hard British Freakrock_
"Creature Comfort" Woods _City Sun Eater In The River Of Light_
"Creatures Of Comfort" Deep Sea Diver _Secrets_

lawyer Bobcat Sloan interrupts!

"Comfortably Numb" Graham Parker _A Fair Forgery Of Pink Floyd_
"Comfortably Tucked Up Inside" The Minders _Hooray For Tuesday_
"Comfort & Crazy" Guy Clark _Craftsman_
"Southern Comfortable" Ruthann Friedman _Hurried Life: Lost Recordings 1965-1971_
"Southern Comfort" Johnny Cash _The Ragged Old Flag_

interview with my friend David, who makes me very uncomfortable

"Comfortable Again" Partnerships _Double Love Suicide_
"Too Close For Comfort" Poison Girls _Statement: The Complete Recordings_
"Too Close For Comfort" Peggy Lee _Pretty Eyes_
"Mother Stands For Comfort" Kate Bush _Hounds Of Love_
"Comfort In Light" The High Violets _Heroes & Halos_

closing & goodbye

"My Comfort Remains" Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan & Michael Brook _Night Song_
"Cold Comfort (Deepsky Remix)" Curve _The New Adventures Of Curve_

Whither Comfort?

(Apparently you can buy comfort in a plastic bottle, ultra-concentrated.  Image from here.)

This week Self Help radio gets comfortable.  Not really.  At core it's an uncomfortable show.  But it makes an attempt at comfort.  Will it get too close for comfort?  Yes, it will.  Will it travel very far outside its comfort zone?  No, it will not.  It will attempt to surround itself with creature comforts, but you can take comfort in the fact that it will stay mostly the same, which is cold comfort indeed.

That's tomorrow, Monday, October 14, 6-8am PST, on 90.3/89.3 fm Freeform Portland, freeformportland.org.  Come in, make yourself comfortable, it'll be two hours of comfort.  Until, probably, it becomes a tad bit uncomfortable.  Like it generally does.

Preface To Comfort: One Last Radio Show For The Week

This late afternoon I subbed a show on KBOO called Blues Junction, which purports to play "urban & country blues with R&B, soul, jazz, zydeco, & classic rock."  I didn't play much zydeco or classic rock, or any really, but I did play some old & new blues plus soul & R&B.  You can listen to the show here & see the playlist & what-not.

There is a caveat: I was not on my game.  I mixed up my CDs two or three times, I left the mic on when I took a giveaway, I generally flubbed a few transitions.  So I apologize a lot.  I apologize now! Four radio shows on three stations in six days is apparently too much for me!

Trifecta

One of the things that I do which keeps me busy is I volunteer to help out at for the music library of two stations in town.  The truth is, I'd volunteer at all three except the third meets on Sunday nights, which I simply can't do because of my early Monday morning show.

At one of the stations at which I volunteer this week, after I finished music librarying, I got to chatting with a staff member who said she had known people who have done shows at two stations, but never one at three.  She said I had hit the Portland community radio station trifecta.

"Ah," I said, "but I don't do a show at KBOO."

"Yes," she said, "but you have subbed shows at KBOO."

"I dunno," I said.  "I don't think it really counts until I have a regular gig there."

"Didn't you say," she asked, "that you'll be helping out with people doing new shows?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "I'll be overseeing them while they do their first shows, to demonstrate what kind of show they want to do."

"I think," she said, "that sounds like a regular gig at KBOO."

Well, damn.  Trifecta.

Sugar Substitute (Episode 167)

Oh hey, you can listen to my episode of Sugar Substitute, the more-or-less freeform show I do on XRAY FM, right over here.  I can't say I recommend the show.  I felt a little out of sorts.

But hey!  I made a logo.  It looks like this:

I need to make it more square to fit with the schedule on the XRAY website.  As well, I need to put a show description up.  I have too much to do!

Self Help Radio 100719: 1969 Revisited (The 17th Anniversary Show)

(Most images from Discogs but a couple from Wikipedia.)

Seventeen years!  Here is, according to this webiste, a list of mammals that don't live seventeen years in captivity - so some may life longer in the wild, but others probably don't:

Antelope - Badger - Bat - Fox - Goat (!) - Guinea Pig - Hare - Mole - Mouse - Nutria - Opossum - Otter - Porpoise - Rabbit - Raccoon - Reindeer - Sheep - Squirrel - Wolf

For me, I choose to believe that porpoises live forever when they're allowed to swim free.

Here's a continuation of my favorite music from 1969.  I could make an entire three more shows, each focusing on stuff I love from the year but didn't play this time - I could do an entire psychedelic show & a jazz show, & probably a country show too.  Maybe when I get to a certain point, I can revisit the revisited themes, maybe in one hundred years, or when I'm put in the Matrix, whichever comes first.  Unless...  Am I in the Matrix now?

The show is of course waiting for your discerning ears at Self Help Radio dot net.  It's all music this week, no interviews or other nonsense.  You'll need a username - try "SHR" - without the quotes - & a password - try "selfhelp" - also without the quotes.  & check out what I played below.

Seventeen years!  Does that mean puberty is over?

Self Help Radio 1969 Revisited Show
"Chelsea Morning" Joni Mitchell _Clouds_
"Walk On By" Isaac Hayes _Hot Buttered Soul_
"Fuga No. 2" Mutantes _Mutantes_

"Always See Your Face" Love _Four Sail_
"It Hurts Me Too" Karen Dalton _It's So Hard To Tell Who's Going To Love You The Best_
"I'm Movin' On" Elvis Presley _From Elvis In Memphis_
"Je T'Aime... Moi, Non Plus" Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin _Jane Birkin et Serge Gainsbourg_
"The World's Strongest Man" Scott Walker _Scott 4_

"Kick Out The Jams" The MC5 _Kick Out The Jams_
"Pinball Wizard" The Who _Tommy_
"Venus" Shocking Blue _Venus_
"Space Oddity" David Bowie _David Bowie_
"Gimme Shelter" The Rolling Stones _Let It Bleed_

"The Ralph Spoilsport Mantrum" The Firesign Theater _How Can You Be In Two Places At Once When You're Not Anywhere at All_
"Ali Baba's Camel" The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band _Tadpoles_
"Sing" Bruce Haack _The Electronic Record For Children_
"Everyday People" Sly & The Family Stone _Stand!_
"Live Wire" The Meters _The Meters_

"Lay Lady Lay" Bob Dylan _Nashville Skyline_
"Waiting Around To Die" Townes Van Zandt _Townes Van Zandt_
"Rehearsals For Retirement" Phil Ochs _Rehearsals For Retirement_
"Down By The River" Neil Young _Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere_

"Cold Turkey" Plastic Ono Band _Cold Turkey_
"Willie The Pimp" Frank Zappa _Hot Rats_

Whither 1969 Revisited?

(Trailer for the wrong 1969 show.  Go here to see that one.)

Self Help Radio premiered on KOOP radio in Austin, Texas, at 3pm on Wednesday, October 9, 2002. Around six years later, on Friday, October 17, 2008, the show started revisiting old themes to celebrate its anniversary.  That's what's happening this week.

On Wednesday, January 19, 2005 (the day before my thirty-seventh birthday), Self Help Radio celebrated my favorite music from 1969.  (I do that every year around my birthday, celebrate a different year; I started in 1968, the year of my birth, & have been working my way up chronologically every year since then.)  The show at the time was only one hour long, so there wasn't a great deal of time to cover all the music I love from 1969.  As well, I didn't have a good resource for what exactly was released in 1969.  I got most of the songs right, but I missed a lot.  & that's what these anniversary shows attempt to correct.

There won't be any songs from the first 1969 show - consider this show an addition to that show.  & it'll happen tomorrow morning - Monday, October 7, 2019 - from 6-8 am on Freeform Portland, 90.3 + 98.3 fm in the city, online everywhere at that web site linked earlier in this sentence.

Listen, even if your parents weren't even born in 1969!  (I am so fucking old.)

Preface To 1969 Revisited: Top Ten Singles Of 1969

Like I did yesterday, I'll run down the top ten singles on Rate Your Music's site.  By the way, the coolest thing about the site is that the lists are dynamic - they change all the time.  I occasionally go back & check & find it amazing that some votes can move an album up or down two or three places.  So this list might be wrong in a week or a month.  But here's what it is now:

01 The Beatles, "Something" / "Come Together"
02 David Bowie, "Space Oddity" / "Wild Eyed Boy From Freecloud"
03 King Crimson, "The Court Of The Crimson King (Parts 1 & 2)"
04 The Stooges, "I Wanna Be Your Dog" / "1969"
05 The Rolling Stones, "Sympathy For The Devil" / "Prodigal Son"
06 The Jackson 5, "I Want You Back" / "Who's Lovin You"
07 The Kinks, "The Village Green Preservation Society" / "Do You Remember Walter?"
08 Simon & Garfunkel, "The Boxer" / "Baby Driver"
09 Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Fortunate Son" / "Down On The Corner"
10 The Kinks, "Shangrila" / "This Man He Weeps Tonight"

Nice to see so much Kinks love on the site!  Their album Arthur came out in 1969, & I played something from it on the previous 1969 show.

Also nice to see Stooges love.  I played "1969" on the first 1969 show because it just seemed too appropriate.

For some reason - I mentioned this yesterday - I didn't play the Stones on the first show.  That will be remedied.

& I wasn't aware of the status of the Jackson 5 single when I did the first show, & I agree it's a good song - I just can't in good conscience play anything associated with Michael Jackson on the radio anymore - even the pre-molesting children stuff.  I believe it's all been quite tainted.

Oh yes I count myself fortunate that no one reads this blog or know anything about this show because I imagine there'd be some angry reactions to that, & maybe to this: I never much cared for CCR.  Since they're classic rock, I know all their hits, like "Down On The Corner" & "There's A Bathroom On The Right," but it's not something I enjoy hearing nor want to revisit it.  Please note: I'm not saying "It's bad."  I don't believe that.  I just don't like it.  If you like it, fine.  I don't have any feelings about your opinions or your taste in any way.

That's enough of that.  I must go put a show about 1969 together now.

Top Ten

When I do these "favorite music of a certain year" shows, I generally use the website Rate Your Music as a guide for what was released that year.  I don't believe I used the site for the first few times I did my favorite music of the year shows - I know this because I missed some people from 1969 - Phil Ochs, for example - whom I wouldn't have left off the original show if I had a better resource for releases from that year.  In any event, here are the current top ten releases as voted on by Rate Your Music listeners*:

01 King Crimson, In The Court Of The Crimson King
02 The Beatles, Abbey Road
03 Miles Davis, In A Silent Way
04 Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin
05 Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin II
06 Frank Zappa, Hot Rats
07 The Velvet Underground, The Velvet Underground
08 Nick Drake, Five Leaves Left
09 The Rolling Stones, Let It Bleed
10 Neil Young, Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

Of that list, only three - the Beatles, the Velvets, & Nick Drake - made the original 1969.  It's a bit baffling to me that I forgot about Neil Young.  That's one of my favorite records of all time.

The show this week will include four more from that list, & you won't hear three at all.  As I discussed on the show's Facebook page, I'm not so much a fan of that King Crimson record, & I have never much liked Led Zeppelin despite the fact that I could probably sing along with most of the songs on the two records thanks to the relentless playing of that band on FM radio as I was growing up.

You'll notice I've refrained from saying things like "that band sucks."  It's weird to me when people say that, & my brain only hears that as "I don't like that band."  I read a recent Facebook rant by someone I know about some recently dead artist & they were asking questions like, "Did anyone really like that artist?"  Like-minded people piled on (so much for only saying nice things about the dead) but no one pointed out that that artist had many hits, sold-out stadiums, & continues to get played on classic rock radio.  So, yeah, people did like that artist.  Of course they did!  How else to explain the outpouring of sadness & sympathy at his death?  Just because the author of the rant didn't like the artist, though, it seemed unbelievable that anyone liked him.

That's a kind of internet pathology that I avoid.  Opinions are just opinions.  That some people are threatened by other people's opinions is something I find fascinating.

In any event - I am just playing musicians on the show this week that I like & whom I seem to have forgotten - or didn't have time to play - the first time around.  & I won't say anyone sucks.  That's the sort of thing sucky people do.

* The entire list is here.

Sugar Substitute (Episode 166)

Wouldya look at that.  My first show on XRAY FM is actually the 166th episode of Sugar Substitute! How weird these things are!

The first episode of Sugar Substitute aired on August 4, 2009, on WMUL in Huntington, West Virginia.  The station had given me a three-hour block of time, & I didn't even want to think about how difficult it would be to make a three-hour-long episode of Self Help Radio.  So I split the block in half - I had been doing a ninety-minute version of SHR in Austin - & for the rest of the time, I played indie music under the moniker "Sugar Substitute."

The name comes from a song by the late, great Austin band Luxuriator, & I use their song (with their permission) in the intro.

The show was brought with me to Lexington, & when I was given yet another three-hour block, I did the same chrono-surgery.  When I decided - probably when I got the Monday morning show sometime in 2012 - to expand Self Help Radio to two hours, I shortened Sugar Substitute to sixty minutes.

At some point, more aggressive recruitment led to more students on the air, & the three-hour timeslots were mostly done.  I retired Sugar Substitute in 2015 or so.

When I was asked to do a show on XRAY, I had a couple choices - I could move SHR over from Freeform, or I could've done any number of shows I've done before - or a new show with a new name!  But I figured I'd stick with my love of indie, postpunk, punk, & related stuff, & it seemed natural to call the show Sugar Substitute again.

With that giant preamble, I wanted to let you know that you can listen to the show anytime by clicking here.  It's archived on the XRAY page.  You don't have to look at the dumb Self Help Radio website at all!

Self Help Radio 093019: Postcards

(I know, I know, it's like the show is sending a postcard to itself.  But who else does it have to write to?  Original image here.)

Oh man, I wrote so many postcards today.  I'm well on my way to carpal tunnel.  Which is not to be confused with the carpool tunnel, which will get you someplace faster but you need to have friends to ride with, &, alas, you don't.

There's not much to say about postcards.  We've been using them for barely one hundred & fifty years but they may go the way of other media supplanted by the internet.  Unless!  Has anyone thought of digital postcards?  Oh, they have.  Of course.  No, I didn't think I was the first to think of it.  I did not!  I wasn't fantasizing about selling the idea to an anonymous corporation for filthy lucre.  I was not!

On the show I made the promise that if you sent me an address to send you a postcard, I will do so.  You can do that, too, if you didn't listen: just write gary at self help radio dot net & I'll send ya something in the mail!  A postcard, I mean.

The show is available now at the Self Help Radio website.  It's one giant file this week, you can see what happens on the show below.  Username is SHR, password is selfhelp.

Do you have any stamps?

Self Help Radio Postcards Show
"Postcard" Blossom Toes _If Only For A Moment_
"Postcard" The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band _Urban Spaceman_
"Postcard" The Who _Odds & Sods_

introduction, definition, & history

"Postcard" Partly Cloudy _Excess Verbiage_
"Postcard" Pere Ubu _Story Of My Life_
"Postcard" Blurt _Celebrating The Bespoke Cell Of Little Ease_
"Postcard" The Simpletons _Matter_
"The Postcard" Stephen Duffy _I Love My Friends_

interview with postcard writer David Fruchter

"Postcard" The Afternoon Naps _Sunbeamed_
"Postcards" Treetop Flyers _The Mountain Moves_
"Postcard" Hailer _Another Way_
"Postcard" Letting Up Despite Great Faults _Untogether_
"The Postcard" I Am The World Trade Center _The Tight Connection_

interview with artisanal postcard maker Claude Grommitt

"Send Me A Postcard" Shocking Blue _We Can Fly, Vol. 3_
"Postcard From Waterloo" Tom Verlaine _Words From The Front_
"Postcard From Far Away" Half Japanese _The Band That Would Be King_
"Postcard From Madrid" Happydeadmen _Classics - A Decade In Pop_
"Postcard To Nina" Jens Lekman _Night Falls Over Kortedala_

interview with Oliver Whitehall, who send postcards to world leaders

"Every Day Is Like Sunday" Morrissey _Viva Hate_
"Guess How Much I Love You" The Lucksmiths _A Good Kind Of Nervous_
"Postcards On Sunday" The Bartlebees _What Is It All About?_
"Postcards To Strangers" Moustache Of Insanity _Postcards To Strangers_
"Postcard Picture Perfect" The Fairways _Is Everything All Right?_

conclusion & goodbye

"Postcard View" Watermelon Men _Wildflowers_
"Postcards From Tiny Islands" The Walkmen _You & Me_
"Postcard From The Grave" The Untamed _Strange Unknown_
"Postcard From Heaven" CJ Ramone _The Holy Spell..._
"Carte Postale" George Pringle _Salon Des Refusés_

Whither Postcards?

(Image from here.)

There are actually two reasons why this week's Self Help Radio has the theme "postcards."

The first reason is that a year or so ago I did a show about "the mails," which is to say all things related to the postal service.  (The playlist is here.)  In addition to songs about mail carriers & letters, I collected songs about postcards - I thought I might get enough to do a postcard set.  It turns out there were a lot of songs about postcards.  So I put them aside, intending to do a show one day about postcards.

The second reason is that Jenny reminded me that I was going to do a show about postcards at some point so why not now?  I dusted off the old folder, looked for more postcard songs, & viola!  There'll be a Self Help Radio show about postcards tomorrow.

That'll be from 6-8am Pacific time on 90.3 + 98.3 fm Freeform Portland & online at freeformportland.org.

Gosh, I just hope I have enough stamps!