Self Help Radio 072622: Ponies

(Original image here.)

Looking around the interwebs, I couldn't find an answer to the question, What do kids want more, a dog or a pony?  I can say with confidence that as a kid, I wanted both, & a cat, & a snake, & a turtle too if possible.  That I would not have taken very good care of them is not something my family was prepared to tell me, so they opted not to get me any of those.  Also, we were very poor.  We lived in apartments.  A dog would be hard enough - a pony would have been miserable.  If not impossible.

The best I can have now, & maybe you too, is a radio show about ponies.  Luckily there are lots of songs about ponies & I was able to talk to lots of folks about pony-related subjects (see below).  While I somehow couldn't fit in any songs referencing dog & pony shows, I did have a few cowboy & cowgirl tunes as well as some ponytail songs.  & at least one "one trick pony" song.  But the star of the show was that diminutive creature which seems so much sweeter & cuter than the average horse.  Oh damn it all!  I still want a pony!

Listen to the show now either at the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  At the SHR website you'll need a username & a password, which are SHR & selfhelp.  Every song I play & what happens during the show is noted below.

Saddle up!

Self Help Radio Ponies Show

"Pony Time" Chubby Checker _Let's Twist Again (The World Of Chubby Checker)_

"Ride Your Pony" Betty Harris _The Lost Queen Of New Orleans Soul_

"I Want A Pony" Krause _No Guts, No Glory_

introduction & definitions

"Little Pony" Lambert, Hendricks, & Ross _Sing A Song Of Basie_

"Pony In The Night" Ed Schrader's Music Beat _Nightclub Daydreaming_

"Pony" Annette Peacock _I'm The One_

"Pony" Tom Waits _Mule Variations_

"Stone Pony Blues" Charley Patton _Complete Recordings 1929-1934_

interview with my friend Jarvis, who has a pony

"Pony Tail" T-Bone Walker _The Complete Imperial Recordings: 1950-1954_

"Pony Tail Girl" Glenn Garrison _Bison Bop: The Bop That Never Stopped - For A Real Rockin' Cat Volume 7_

"Ponytails" Anna Oxygen _All Your Faded Things_

"Ponytail" Pins _Hot Slick_

"White Horse" Laid Back _...Keep Smiling_

our favorite librarian Carole comes by to talk about pony books

"Mysterious Pony" Emperor Penguin _Mysterious Pony_

"Art School Pony" Tennis Pro _Are You There God? It's Me, Tennis Pro_

"Hey Pony" Hédika _Belles! Belles! Belles! 1961-1968_

"I Want A Pony" Candypants _Candypants_

"I Want A Pony" Amanda Applewood _I Love Boys_

interview with new Pony Express founder Mark Vega

"(Blame It) On the Pony Express" Johnny Johnson & The Bandwagon _Soul Survivor_

"Pony Express" Jack Frost _Snow Job_

"A Cowboy's Best Friend Is His Pony" Wilf Carter _Cowboy Songs_

"My Poncho Pony" Patsy Montana _Flowers In The Wildwood (Women In Early Country Music 1923-1939)_

"Pony Blues" Son House _The Original Delta Blues_

our resident cinephile Chuck stops by to talk about movies featuring ponies

"Pony St." Elvis Costello _Brutal Youth_

"Ponyoak" Kleenex Girl Wonder _Graham Smith Is The Coolest Person Alive_

"Pony Song" Salem 66 _Salem 66_

"Red Pony" The Triffids _Treeless Plain_

"New Pony" Bob Dylan _Street-Legal_

interview with Clay Brony, pony ride entrepreneur

"Saddle My Pony" Howlin' Wolf _The Chronological Howlin' Wolf 1952-1953_

"My Rifle, My Pony, & Me" Elle Belga _Little Darla Has A Treat For You V.27: Eternal Spring Edition_

"Dig A Pony" The Beatles _Let It Be_

"Little Pony" BMX Bandits _Serious Drugs: The Creation Anthology_

"Tony The Pony" Morrissey _The HMV/Parlophone Singles 88-95_

conclusion & goodbye

"Pony Club" The Limp _Can't Stop It! Australian Post-Punk 1978-1982_

"Mister, Would You Please Help My Pony?" Ween _Chocolate & Cheese_

"Waltz For Pony" Boy _Mutual Friends_

"Little Abigail & The Beautiful Pony" Shel Silverstein _A Light In The Attic_

"One Trick Ponies" Kurt Vile _Bottle It In_

"Pony Ony O" Mean Lady _Love Now_

Whither Ponies?

(Found on the internet many years ago, can't remember where.)

A few years back, someone asked me if I had ever done a Self Help Radio episode about horses.  "Horses!" I said. "Oh dear no!  Imagine how many songs there must be about horses!" I was thinking about that requests (I can't remember who made the request though) a few weeks ago when I had stumbled onto another theme for which they were too many songs.

It may seem to you that the more general a theme, the easier the task, since you can pick from a wider assortment of tunes. But that is not the case when one is a completist with not a little bit of an obsessive-compulsive streak.  Ultimately the general themes torture me.  I need to whittle them down.

Thus, my mind went, "That was a tough one, too many songs to go through, glad I'm not doing that again for a while, like the time that person requested horses, holy crap that would be a lot of songs, I don't know if I'd ever do a show about horses, imagine, but if I had to, maybe I could do a show about a type of horse, or perhaps donkeys, or mules, or hey! what about ponies?" My mind began to think of songs for such a show.

How that is resolved you can discover tonight on 90.7fm KBOO Portland, online at kboo.fm, from midnight to 3am. A show about ponies from someone who's never spent much time with ponies. The magic of radio!

Preface To Ponies: My Little Pony

(Cute! Image from here.)

Wikipedia tells me, "My Pretty Pony is a pony figurine introduced by Hasbro in 1981 that was created by illustrator Bonnie Zacherle & sculptor Charles Muenchinger. My Pretty Pony is a ten-inch-tall hard plastic figurine that can wiggle its ears, swish its tail, & wink one eye."

In 1981, I was thirteen & if you had asked me before I started writing this, I would have said I was still watching cartoons on Saturday morning television.  But maybe I wasn't - or maybe I just slept in on the weekends, because I don't really remember watching many of the shows from this schedule, also courtesy the Wikipedia:

Wow, I think I would've loved the Kid Super Power Hour with Shazam! But looking at the episode page, I have no memory of it, or Hero High.  I probably would not have been very enamored with Laverne & Shirley In The Army, though. Anyway, I do know that I did watch some Saturday morning television because I have a distinct memory of the first commercial from this Youtube Collection Of My Little Pony Commercials.

Above I noted that the little pony was cute.  It was not an opinion I had nor I would've shared if I had had it when I first saw the My Little Ponies.  Obviously they were marketed toward little girls.  & while at 13 I might have had much more in common with your average little girl than boys my age, I really was more into Star Wars & Star Trek & comic books than My Little Ponys.

Perhaps we'll talk a little bit about them on the show tomorrow.  They have been around for generations & continue to thrive, as far as I can tell.  After the show though, I probably won't think much about them ever again.

Russian House Russian Elegant Food

According to emoregon.org, "More than 100,000 Slavic-speaking refugees & immigrants from the former Soviet Union currently reside in the Portland metro area, & the numbers are expected to increase. Census figures show that no other place in the nation has had more of an influx from the former Soviet Union than the Pacific Northwest."

According to wweek.com, "Russian is the third-most spoken language in Oregon, after English & Spanish. The Portland area is home to more than 50,000 immigrants & family members from the former Soviet Union, the largest number of which come from Ukraine, according to Portland State's Population Research Center."

On a walk on this day in 2019 - we had been in Portland for just a few months - I passed this sign on Foster Road.  The business - Russian House - had been closed since at least 2013.  According to a review on businessfinder.oregon.live from 2009, "Nice people, HUGE books selection, great music selection. This is a great place to buy most anything from Russia or the former Soviet republics."  I am sad we didn't get a chance to pop in to have a look.

The Russian at the bottom translates as "Russian Store."  It took me forever to work out the letters in Gurgle Translate.

The sign was gone after the pandemic began.  This is what's there now, courtesy Gurple Merps:

Does it seem like they replaced the whole sign?  I guess not.  But I have no real sense of the size.  Acupuncture is not elegant food, that's for sure.

The Oldest Image On My Computer

Is this one:

It's dated October 1995. I can't recall if I scanned it from some book - which is likely, since there weren't lots of images on the world wide web in 1995 - or if I found it somewhere.  I do know I put it either on my own web page, which I had through my work, or the KVRX web page, which I maintained at the time.

The story of how that happened is a classic of volunteer-run organizations. Someone at KVRX - the student radio station at the University of Texas at Austin* - & I wish could remember his name, he was a nice fellow - he had created a web page for the station but was about to graduate.  The first website was created in 1991, & this fellow created KVRX's in 1994, when I think I read there were fewer than 50,000 web sites out there.  He asked at a meeting if there were anyone who'd like to take it over.  I said, sure.  & after learning a little HTML, I did, & I maintained it & the KVRX email list for about three years.

To give you a little background, I got my first email address in December 1994, & I discovered the Usenet about that time.  Within a year I was responsible for a radio station's web page.

The attitude at KVRX was a bit snarky.  The Program Director at the time left informative notes in our mailboxes that were called "Bobo Letters."  They might begin "Hey loser!"  I attempted to transfer the snark to the web page.  I created Directors' pages & wrote fake biographies for them.  I don't know if they are saved anywhere - I don't know if I have them anymore - although I do know that I occasionally amused myself.  On one page, I said of a director, "He sends lots of money to self-help organizations - & they send the money right back."  This would be years before I would call my radio show Self Help Radio. But perhaps that's why I remember it.

It's hard to know how many files I regularly threw away because my computer - I believe it was a Mac Quadra - had so little disk space.  The truth is, I had no real sense of any kind of permanence in the online world, & most people didn't.  It was around 1996 that I first saw a billboard with a URL on it - & I realized, oh shit this is becoming something else.  But I don't want to complain about the state of the internet.  I was just thinking about old images tonight & wondered which was the oldest.

What I really miss are two games I loved to play back then: the original Civilization & a first-person shooter called Marathon.  I don't play many computer games anymore, but I remember staying late at work on a Friday to try to beat Marathon's "maze through a space station with no oxygen" level.  That was fun.

Also I miss KVRX.  One doesn't know how much one is having at the time.  Also I was pretty emotionally fucked-up.  But that's also not what I wanted to talk about here.  Just the oldest image that's on my computer.  Good grief, how many computers have I transferred that image from over the years?!?

* Whose current webpage is kvrx.org & sadly, it's pretty ugly at the moment.

Self Help Radio 071922: 1986 (Continued)

(Every darn cover image from Discogs.)

Wow. I've played six hours of music (minus some of my talking) from 1986 & I'm not entirely sure I'm done.  I did repeat some artists because they had more than one release in 1986 - off the top of my head, I can say for sure I played two songs by Elvis Costello, the Smiths, Momus, the Wedding Present, Cocteau Twins, the Fall, & Felt.  Nick Cave released two records in 1986 but I only got around to playing one song.  & then there were those I didn't play!  I seriously could do another three-hour 1986 show.

But will I?  I can't say, I haven't recovered from this one yet.  However, there's plenty of great stuff to tide us over until we decide whether 1986 deserves another show. I mean, it does. It totally does. I should say whether I should make another show. I should. But I might not.

The show is available at both the KBOO website & at the Self Help Radio website. At the latter, please remember you need a username (SHR) & a password (selfhelp) to listen.  It was just me today with lots of music, so I just list the songs below.

For me it was a really amazing year in music.  Even my second choices seem excellent to me.  I hope you find some things you like here too.

Self Help Radio 220719: 1986 (Continued)

"It's You" Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers _It's Time For_

"Country Girl" The Jacobites _When The Rain Comes_

"Speed Of The Sound Of Loneliness" John Prine _German Afternoons_

"Ask" The Smiths _Ask_

"Nicky" Momus _Nicky_

"Felicity" Wedding Present _The Peel Sessions_

"Oomingmak" Cocteau Twins _Victorialand_

"Hey! Luciani" The Fall _Hey! Luciani_

"Agonised By Love" Clan Of Xymox _Medusa_

"Canvas Beauty (Romance Version)" Peter Murphy _Should The World Fail To Fall Apart_

"Walking On Your Hands" Red Lorry Yellow Lorry _Paint Your Wagon_

"This Damn Nation" The Godfathers _Hit By Hit_

"Whistling In The Dark" Easterhouse _Contenders_

"I Have Always Been Here Before" Roky Erickson _Gremlins Have Pictures_

"Girl On A Swing" The Cleaners From Venus _Living With Victoria Grey_

"If You Were A Priest" Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians _Element Of Light_

"Oblivion" The Mekons _The Edge Of The World_

"Valerie" Richard Thompson _Daring Adventures_

"Happy Hour" The Housemartins _London 0 Hull 4_

"My Biggest Thrill" The Mighty Lemon Drops _Happy Head_

"Love Is The Slug" We've Got A Fuzzbox & We're Gonna Use It _Bostin' Steve Austin_

"The Rain Fell Down" Jesse Garon & The Desperadoes _Billy The Whizz_

"Truck Train Tractor" The Pastels _Truck Train Tractor_

"Make The Music With Your Mouth, Biz" Biz Markie "The Inhuman Orchestra" feat. T.J. Swan _Make The Music With Your Mouth, Biz_

"Eric B. Is President" Eric B. featuring Rakim _Eric B. Is President_

"My Mike Sounds Nice" Salt 'N' Pepa _Hot Cool Vicious_

"Ego Tripping" Ultra Magnetic M.C.'s _Ego Tripping_

"South Bronx" Boogie Down Productions _South Bronx_

"Bonzo Goes To Bitburg" Ramones _Animal Boy_

"Don't Want To Know If You Are Lonely" Hüsker Dü _Candy Apple Grey_

"People Ain't No Good" The Cramps _A Date With Elvis_

"No Reason To Complain" Lyres _Lyres Lyres_

"The Good Earth" The Feelies _The Good Earth_

"Sad?" BMX Bandits _Sad?/E102_

"I'm The King Of Joy" Bill Drummond _The Man_

"Ballad Of The Band" Felt _Ballad Of The Band_

"Freaky Dancin'" Happy Mondays _Freaky Dancin'_

"Boy" Book Of Love _Book Of Love_

"Absolute Beginners" David Bowie _Absolute Beginners_

Whither 1986 (Continued)?

Self-Portrait With Facial Hair, 1986

The reason for this show is being eighteen years old. It's discovering a world of music one didn't know existed. It's leaving home for the first time, living on one's own for the first time, clumsy & dumb. It's lonesome & anxious, excited & fearful. It's thinking one had an idea about who one was & discovering that that simply was not the case. It's so long ago & so close one can touch it, in every song that was loved in that incredible year.

My birthday is in January.  Around that time, on Self Help Radio, I play songs from a particular year of my life.  I started with music from the year I was born, 1968, & this past January I made it to 1986. Which was a very important year for me. I graduated high school & in the fall I went to the University Of Texas At Austin for college. Sometime in-between, I got my first kiss, & the first real taste of heartbreak. I had become disillusioned with music that I heard on the radio & discovered a whole new world existed outside of it. For the first time in this series, I believe, I am playing more of the music I was listening to then than I was playing of stuff I discovered since.

& there was just too much music from 1986 that I love to fill one episode of Self Help Radio. So tonight I am going to play some more.  It has become painfully clear I won't get to play all my favorite music from 1986. & that there is favorite music from 1986 yet to be discovered. But I'll do my best.

Listen from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in Portland & online at kboo.fm.  If you live in 1986, you will not be able to listen online. Sorry about that.

Preface To 1986 (Continued): Idea For A Podcast

(image from here.)

Says the Wikipedia, "At Last The 1948 Show is a satirical television show that brought Cambridge Footlights humor to a broader audience.  The show starred Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Marty Feldman, & Aimi MacDonald. Chapman & Cleese would later be among the founders of the Monty Python comedy troupe, & several of the sketches first performed in At Last The 1948 Show would later be performed by Monty Python in various formats." It aired in 1967, & of the thirteen episodes, most of which were thought lost, eleven have been recovered.

What the hell has this to do with 1986, music, or podcasts? Jeez, why so impatient?

A word about podcasts: everyone has a podcast. Almost no one these days has an iPod, but everyone has a podcast.  I don't have a podcast, but I do have two radio shows, & sometimes people say to me, "Do you have a podcast?" & I say, "No, I have two radio shows," & they say, "Where can I listen to them?" & I tell them when they're on & they make faces because Tuesdays midnight to 3am is way too late & Thursdays 8 to 10am is a little too early & I have to say, "Oh, but you can download them on my website at Self Help Radio dot net" & although they have no intention of actually downloading them, they say, "So you do have a podcast."

Which is one way of saying even if you think you don't have a podcast, you almost certainly do have a podcast.

In the way people used to talk about radio shows, they now say podcast.  As if they believe all the radio does is air podcasts.  Maybe it's because it's very obvious that most of the shows they hear, since the pandemic, are recorded instead of live.  Also, I know people here in Portland who did radio shows so they could basically use the studios to make a podcast.  One time, at one of the stations here, the internet went down, & the show wasn't able to stream, which meant it wasn't recorded to be archived, & one programmer just decided to not come in to do his show because it wouldn't be saved on the computer.  I thought, "Does he not know it also goes out on the air?"  That wasn't his concern - he needed a recording for his podcast.

The truth is, I don't have a lot of time nor much of a desire to make a podcast.  It's just that I've spent the weekend looking at all the incredible music that came out in 1986 & I confess I've heard only a fraction of the releases & I wonder what I've missed.  So I thought I might take a moment every once in a while & talk about & play songs from records from 1986 - both ones that are familiar & ones that I've recently acquainted myself with - & I'd call it "At Last The 1986 Show."

Ha ha! You were wondering what all that nonsense at the very beginning of this was all about!  You thought I couldn't tie it all together!  What you didn't expect was that I could, & I did, & ultimately it makes no sense, & I was shabby about it all the way through?

Will it happen?  Maybe.  If it does, I'll tell you.  I'll put it on my website like everything else, though. No need to make it available wherever podcasts are sold.

Fatkies

(image from here)

Today I've been reading about junk food because next Thursday, July 21, is National Junk Food Day, & that'll be what I talk about on the Dickenbock Report, the other show I do here in town.  While looking at the Wikipedia page for junk food (linked under the image), I barely glanced at said image, thinking it was just a vending machine, albeit a fancy one.  Nope!  It's a poster designed to dissuade junk food consumers from consuming junk food.  Plus!  It was at Camp Pendleton, so it's designed for adults, not children.

Upon noticing, & clicking to enlarge, I studied the different options & ignored the "facts" printed next to them.  Here are the products: Choco-Fato Nut Bar, Sugar Explosions, Sugar Cake Fatkies, Milk Chocolate O & O's, Chocolate Chip Multi-Fat Yummies, Extra Fatty Donuts, Freddy's Fat Pies, Liquid Sugar, Calorie Smack, & Salty Calorie Sticks.

Whoever designed the poster must have thought these were truly damning names for products that would scare off the average consumer.  But that person has obviously never seen cheaper versions of famous products, which often have names not far removed from "Salty Calorie Sticks."  But even more than that - are you saying you wouldn't stuff your mouth with something as delicious sounding as Sugar Cake Fatkies?  Holy shit that sounds amazing!

What I'm saying is that the folks attempting to get the Marines at Camp Pendleton to eat healthier (the fatkies that they are) really pulled their punches here.  I feel like there were trading cards making fun of junk food from the 1960s which would've been better templates.  Were there really such trading cards?  Let me look. Yes, I am thinking of Wacky Packages.

Someone at Camp Pendleton - probably on some General's staff - whose job it was to okay the above poster - although now that I think about it, it was probably someone from the Department Of Defense & almost certainly not in the armed forces at all - they should've said to the designer, "Talk to the those folks that make Wacky Packages.  After all, you're either deliberately or subconsciously copying them.  Give them the assignment & tell them to make the junk food extra evil."

& that person would show them, as an example, this one:

While I'd certainly love some Extra Fatty Donuts washed down with Liquid Sugar, I would absolutely not love Mud-Filled Hostage Cupcakes.  That sounds terrible!  & the next time I looked at Hostess Cupcakes, I might think, "Maybe those are filled with mud too!"

In fact, I have a memory of being young & seeing the Wacky Packages cards before I saw the actual product it was making fun of, & being confused my mother might buy such an awful thing.  For example, this famous one:

As far as I can remember, my mother never drank "Chock Full Of Nuts" coffee, & so when it appeared in our house, I thought there were actual nuts & bolts in it.  I remember really wanting to check.  I hated the idea of my mother drinking metal objects.

Anyway, I hope the next time the Marines want to help their famously obese troops slim down, maybe they'll find this modest post & turn to the experts to help them: the people who make Wacky Packages - which are apparently still a thing!  Here's a recent one:

Terrifying.  By the way, you can find all these & more at this link.  I have officially spent too much time there tonight.

Favorite Color

Is my favorite color this color here?  Yes, it is.

Had you asked me before 1992 what my favorite color was, I might have said something distinctly bleak like "black" or "grey." I used to paraphrase that famous Morrissey line as "I wear grey on the outside because grey is how I feel on the inside." Although I really never wore grey. I probably had a tee shirt on while saying that, thinking I was clever & not even considering that the person I was talking to might not know the Smiths reference. & the tee shirt was probably from a concert I went to in 1987 & not a Smiths shirt at all.

That all changed when I had my heart broken in early 1992. Suffice to say, saying it was "broken" is being coy. If there were actual damage to a heart when it is "broken" in the romantical sense, I would have had the equivalent of a massive heart attack requiring emergency bypass surgery & maybe even a transplant. Some pig might have to die for me & thankfully that didn't happen because I would feel even more heartbroken for a worthy pig to have died for my dumb self to survive.

Of course, heartbreak doesn't really affect the heart (although it can do indirectly, as ones suffering severe emotional trauma tends to not take care of themselves, for example not eating, or drinking too much alcohol, which may lead to complications for the organ called the heart) but the brain, & the human brain can be frustratingly sturdy. Though I truly did at the time feel black on the inside, I did not want to live in blackness. The night, which I had previously quite enjoyed, became a place for terror & loneliness. You wear out even the closest of friendships, of which I had few, by calling at three a.m. to ask, "What's up?"

Daytime was preferable, & as the half-assed Austin winter turned to spring, I saw that color above, & it somehow helped me heal. Spring only stays in Austin for a short time before it's beaten senseless by the always-early-arriving summer, so that color is quite transitory, but I found myself gravitating to it more & more. As I sort-of-recovered from the heartbreak (maybe we never recover from any heartbreak), I still needed to see that color when it returned in the spring, & later, when I moved to Kentucky, twenty years after that heartbreak, I was delighted to find that springs lasted longer & the color stayed longer.  Here's another picture:

Do you find it as delightful as I do?

Maybe not, liking a color is subjective. That's why I call it "my favorite color" & "not the best color." Thinking one color is better than another might be a symptom of some kind of sociopathy. I don't know, I'm not someone who knows anything about psychology.  Which is perhaps a good a way to end this utterly meaningless piece of scribbling:

"I may not a psychologist, but I know what I like!"

That's a reference to something else & if you don't know it, it's fine. It isn't nearly as funny as the thing referenced & probably also not quite exact in its construction, so pointing out the reference might reflect poorly on me.

Self Help Radio 071222: A Fancy Show

(This is a photo of a real place in Portland - this one - but obviously manipulated.)

How fancy is a fancy radio show? Does it have lots of songs about fancy things? Does someone stop by to talk about fancy books? Fancy underwear? "Kentucky Fancy"? Does Lord Fancy sponsor the show, then rescind his sponsorship when he realizes the host isn't all that fancy?  Is it all of these?!?!

It's what happened on this week's Self Help Radio, which attempted to be a fancy show.  No one involved with the show (meaning me, Gary) has had any real experience with being fancy, so don't expect anything too fancy.  Caveat emptor.

Listen to the show now or whenever it strikes your fancy at either the KBOO website or at the Self Help Radio website.  If you go to the latter, remember the username - SHR - & the password - selfhelp.  Everything that happens on the show - including all the songs - is noted below.

Maybe this fancy show isn't all that fancy?

Self Help Radio Fancy Show

"Fancy" The Kinks _Face To Face_

"Fancy" Bobbie Gentry _Fancy_

"Fancy" Georgia's Horse _Weather Codes_

introduction & definitions

"The Fancy Man" Mr. Wright _The Fancy Man_

"Fancy Man" Would-Be-Goods _Brief Lives_

"Fancy Man" Devendra Banhart _Ape In Pink Marble_

"Ugly People With Fancy Hairdos" Art, The Only Band In The World _The Only Record In The World_

"Fancy Baby" John Santos Martins _Highlife On The Move (Selected Nigerian & Ghanaian Recordings From London & Lagos - 1954-1966)_

our librarian friend Carole stops by!

"Fancy Woman" High Voltage _The Arf! Arf! [El Cheapo] 2-CD Sampler_

"Fancy Lady" Billy Preston _It's My Pleasure_

"Fancy Lady" The Mighty Diamonds _Changes_

"Not Fancy" Anjelah Johnson _Not Fancy_

"Lady Fancy Knickers" Momus _Otto Spooky_

interview with fancy undergarments entrepreneur Gerald Fochs

"Well Fancy That!" Fun Boy Three _Waiting_

"Fancy Beer" The Two Man Gentlemen Band _Live In New York_

"What Takes My Fancy" Lucille Ball & Don Tomkins _Wildcat_

"Fancy Dancer" Bobbi Humphrey _Fancy Dancer_

"Fancy Dancer" Commodores _Hot On The Tracks_

interview with "Kentucky Fancy" promoter Jarvis VanMeter

"Fancy Passes" Barbara McNair _The Complete Motown Singles, Vol. 8: 1968_

"Fancy Dress" The Bathers _Unusual Places To Die_

"Just Fancy Dan & Pliny" Bob & Ray _Classic Bob & Ray, Volume One - Selections From A Career: 1946-1976_

"Fancy Free" Flue _One & A Half_

"Fancy Footwork" Chromeo _Fatboy Slim: Dance Bitch_

idioms Lord Fancy interrupts!

"Fancy Meeting You Here" Kim Weston _The Motown Anthology_

"Fancy Pants" Kenny _Jackie The Album_

"Fancy Mice" Jilted John _True Love Stories_

"Fancy Restaurants" Brian Regan _Live From Radio City Music Hall_

"Flight Of Fancy" Interpol _Marauder_

idioms with fancy

"Hey There Fancypants" Ween _Quebec_

"The Trial Of Dr. Fancy" The King Of Luxembourg _London Pavilion Volume Two_

"Fancy Free" Mary Wells _The Other Side Of Mary Wells: Hits & Rarities_

"Fancy Drones (Fracture Me)" Amythyst Kiah _Wary + Strange_

"Fancy" Yeah Yeah Yeahs _Show Your Bones_

conclusion & goodbye

"Fancy Hercules" Makar _Fancy Hercules_

"Fancy Party Hairdo" Prickly _Fancy Party Hairdo_

"Fancy Dive" Shel Silverstein _A Light In The Attic_

"Someone Else's Fancy" Richard Thompson _The Life & Music Of Richard Thompson_

"Fancy Work Funk" Takako Minekawa _Fun9_

Whither A Fancy Show?

Please enjoy this fancy mailbox.

As someone who's never been described as "fancy," I am certainly woefully unqualified to present a radio show about fanciness.  Unless you want to consider it like one of those documentaries where a host, usually British, posits a question, like "are there blood-sucking tadpoles in the Amazon?" & then takes a film crew out there to find out.  Alas, I am not British, & I don't have a film crew, but I can say, "What is fancy?" & perhaps hope my show will help me figure it out.

Wait. But it's already "a fancy show"!  I just made all that up because I can't remember why I started gathering "fancy" songs in the first place!  Curses!  I foiled my own plans again!

Howsoever it turns out, Self Help Radio will be somewhat fancy tonight.  From midnight to 3am on 90.7fm KBOO Portland, online at kboo.fm.  I'll pretend I'm all fancy anyway.

Preface To Fancy: Fancy Catio

Portland has a lot of catios - you can read what those are here but it's kinda self-explanatory - & in fact we've talked about building one for our cats.  But when I looked around for "fancy" images on my computer, I found this one, called "Fancy Catio."  & it is quite fancy!  What lucky cats.

My fancy show will not be as fancy as this fancy catio is.

Two Views Of July Ninth Past

Here are a couple of pictures I took on a July 9th in the past.

This was taken in 2015 in Lexington, Kentucky.  I had four dogs then, but strangely, the three dogs pictured here are the ones that are still with us.  We had adopted Yoko, the chihuahua in the foreground, just a month before.  She was still a little fat.  The little beagle next to her is Winston.  He just turned 15 this week.  He would have just turned eight in this picture.  I wish he could be that young again.

Here's another picture from another July 9th:

The context of this picture is that I was returning from Dallas.  I was on I-30.  I was going to my home in Fort Worth.  Because Fort Worth was the western end of the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex, & because storms tended to come from the west, Fort Worth would mostly be where the storms started.  & more than once I found myself driving west, trying to get home, & suddenly facing a deluge.

This is what happened here, in 2017.  I found an old email I wrote to my wife, who was out of town, about the damage from the storm.  In addition to almost being stuck in a flood - I drove through pretty deep water to exit the highway, & was incredibly lucky that I didn't stall - I also noted that one of our trees in our backyard was uprooted.  Mostly I was sad I was away while the storm came in, & it was almost certainly stressful for our dogs.  I was in Dallas because I had made a promise to help someone because I am a nice guy even though the person to whom I was nice was probably not worth the gesture.  Appropriately, that person is no longer in my life so remembering this, I am even more guilty than I was at the time.

What is true is that I do not miss those storms.  They made terrifying torrential downpours & threatened tornados.  Holy shit!  Nothing like that in Portland.  Well, except wildfires.  Wildfires are fucking horrifying.

Kind Cinema

(image from IMDb)

Our resident cinephile Chuck stopped by this week to talk to us about films featuring kindness, which was the show's theme.  You can listen to that show if for some reason you missed it at either kboo.fm or at selfhelpradio.net.  Chuck is interviewed toward the end of the first hour.

He used an IMDb search to find the films.  He then made a YouTube playlist of the films he wanted to watch, keeping notes with his Letterboxd reviews.  Some movies were available for free elsewhere; the IMDB gave such a list for your convenience.

Follow Chuck on Twitter to find out what he's watching & when.  & interact with him!  He's friendly & loves cats.  A very kind person indeed!

Self Help Radio 070522: Kindness

(Original image here.)

There it is. The kindest radio show Self Help Radio could produce. Because it was about kindness!

To be kind to listeners, it aired in the middle of the night when most everyone was asleep. Except! It was the night of the fourth of July, so maybe everyone was awake because their pets were freaked out by the fireworks! In any event, we kindly kept the show to a mere three hours long. Anything more would not have been a kindness.

As you can see below, there are guests & lots of songs. Except for a short set of tunes of unkindness, it's nonstop kindness.  The milk of human kindness flows, kindness kills, & the show relies on the kindness of strangers.  That's the kind of show it is: a kind show about kindness.

Kindly listen when convenient at either the KBOO web page or at the Self Help Radio website. If you used the latter, make sure you remember the username SHR & the password selfhelp. As note, everything that happens on the show is listed below.

Be kind to Self Help Radio!

Self Help Radio Kindness Show

"The Kindness" Haunted House _Brave The Woods_

"Don't Take My Kindness For Weakness" Meshell Ndegeocello _Weather_

"The Wild Kindness" Silver Jews _American Water_

introductions & definitions - featuring the Definition-O-Tron 3000!

"Kill 'Em With Kindness" Sløtface _Sponge State EP_

"Kill Them With Kindness" Idles _Ultra Mono_

"Kill 'Em With Kindness" Anjelah Johnson _That's How We Do It!_

"The Milkman Of Human Kindness" Billy Bragg _Life's A Riot With Spy Vs Spy_

"Put Your Big Toe In The Milk Of Human Kindness (with Elvis Costello & Marc Ribot)" Rob Wasserman _Trios_

etymologies - featuring the Ghost Of Christmas Past (?!)

"Stranger Than Kindness" Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds _Your Funeral... My Trial_

"The Kindness Of Strangers" The American Analog Set _Know By Heart_

"Stranger To Kindness" The New Year _The End Is Near_

"Kindness Of Strangers" Children's Hour _SOS JFK_

"The Kindness Of Strangers" Nell & The Flaming Lips _Where The Viaduct Looms_

our resident cinephile Chuck talks about kindness in films

"Try A Little Kindness" The Raelettes _Hits & Rarities_

"Kindness" Kevin Salem _Ecstatic_

"Kindness Is The New Rock & Roll" Peace _Kindness Is The New Rock & Roll_

"You Were A Kindness" The National _High Violet (Expanded Edition)_

"Hand Of Kindness" Richard Thompson _Watching The Dark (The History Of Richard Thompson)_

interview with winner of the Kindest Person In America 2021, Mordecai Jarvis

"Please Be Kind (vocals, Ida James)" Earl Hines & His Orchestra _Earl Hines 1937-1939_

"Cruel To Be Kind" Nick Lowe _Labour Of Lust_

"Be Kind To My Mistakes" Kate Bush _Hounds Of Love_

"How To Be Kind" Dead Famous People _La-Di-Da... So Far..._

"Be Kind" Desperate Journalist _Grow Up_

interview with Dr. Edgar Patterson, author of Kindness Is Overrated

"Unkind & Unwise" The Go-Betweens _Spring Hill Fair_

"She Was Unkind" The Ferrets _Strum & Thrum: The American Jangle Underground 1983-1987_

"Too Much, Too Unkind" Charlotte's Web _Flies In The Face Of..._

"How Unkind" Charming _Champagne & Magazines_

"Unkind" The Frank & Walters _Greenwich Mean Time_

idioms with kindness

"Kind Treatment Blues" Memphis Minnie _Queen Of The Country Blues (All The Published Sides 1929-1937 In Chronological Order)_

"I'm A Real Kind Mama" Maggie Jones _Volume 2 (May 1925 To June 1926)_

"Kind Mama" Blind Sammie _The Definitive Blind Willie McTell_

"Kind Babe Blues" James "Stump" Johnson _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order (1929-1964)_

"Unkind Woman" Buddy Moss _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order: Volume 2 (19 September 1933 - 11 August 1934)_

"Kind Hearted Woman Blues (Take 1)" Robert Johnson _The Complete Recordings_

conclusion & goodbye

"Kind Woman" Percy Sledge _It Tears Me Up (The Best Of Percy Sledge)_

"Kinder Still" The Dentists _Some People Are On The Pitch They Think It's All Over It Is Now_

"Trying To Be Kind" The Motorcycle Boy _Scarlet_

"The Magic Of A Kind Word" Belle & Sebastian _The BBC Sessions_

"As Kind As You Can" Wolf Parade _Thin Mind_

Whither Kindness?

(image from here)

Tonight's show is not about the fourth of July, or independence, or signing things, or fireworks, or other related concepts.  That's mainly because tonight's show starts at midnight, which is not the fourth of July but the fifth of July, so not a holiday.  Anyway, I've only done a couple of fourth of July themed shows & my heart isn't always in it.  Especially not this year.  It's weird to celebrate freedom in a country where freedom is dying in droves.

But why a show about kindness?  I have to confess, I thought I didn't know - but I think I might know - but I hesitate to say because it might be presumptuous.  My original assumption is that I was listening to the cool Strum & Thrum collection of 1980s American jangle pop, & especially a song called "She Was Unkind."  Which I'll definitely play tonight.  Which also means I'll be working backward from unkindness to kindness. Which is pretty much how my brain works, to be honest.

However, I suspect something subconsciously affected the decision.  I'll have to think about it.  If I say it now & it's wrong, I'll be embarrassed. & if you've heard my show, you'll know I have a lot to embarrassed about already.  Too much, actually.  It's a wonder I ever show my face on the radio.

That's tonight, while fireworks are scaring your pets, from midnight to 3am on 90.7fm & online at kboo.fm.  It would be a kindness if you listened.

Preface To Kindness: An Unkind Weekend

(This is an image for folks in the UK, but it applies here.)

This is a terrible weekend for pet owners, especially the dogs.  Fireworks scare the bejeezus out of them.  Our oldest, Winston, is a bit deaf but even he seemed agitated by the neighbors a street over blowing things up so it sounded like a warzone.  My sweet girl Pauline, who is not in the least cuddly, wanted to climb up into my lap.

Websites like this with tips about how to take care of your dog during fireworks times are all over the web & easy to find & they pretty much say the same thing.  Lots of dogs freak out & run away when the sky is bright with fireworks.  & missing pet flyers on telephone poles make me very, very sad.

The irony is, I used to love fireworks.  Now I can't watch then, especially if they're near my house, without worrying about my pets.  It seems unkind & even selfish to prioritize an ultimately transient entertainment over the lives of our four-footed friends.  & when they're stressed out, I'm stressed out.

That's not why there's a show about kindness on Self Help Radio this week though.  Maybe I'll tell you about that tomorrow.

Huntington

According to the Farcebook, I wrote on this day in 2009, "I am home again for the first time in Huntington, West Virginia."

There's a place on this blog where I wrote about this house, & some of the things that happened while we lived in Huntington.  I didn't have a digital camera in 2009 & didn't take many pictures, so I didn't take a picture when we arrived.  Which we apparently did on July 2, 2009.  We drove our Toyota Corolla (pictured above) & a minivan.  If I'm not remembering incorrectly, it took two weeks for our things to arrive from the movers.  My books & music were more well-traveled at that point in time than I was.

This edifice was the first place we arrived at in Huntington.  I believe we took the dogs for a walk as soon as we rested some.  We might have met some neighbors.  It wasn't at all hot - I looked & saw that the high that day was 69 degrees.  In Austin, which we had just left two days before, it was 101 degrees.  & it wasn't as if we had left a different region - it was kind of like we had moved a little into the past.

My wife knew she wouldn't like it there so I decided to do my best to make it as nice as possible.  I began to walk the dogs regularly with her - that was not something I did in Austin.  I eventually started cooking for her, too, since she didn't much like the eating out choices we had in Huntington.  I couldn't fix her work, though, & that was a big part of her life.  I was left at home to take care of the animals, which was quite a happy thing for me: I got to spend all my time with them & I loved them so.  Only two of the animals we took to West Virginia made it to Oregon with us.  The dear cat we adopted in Huntington did make it here, but we lost her last year.  But I think all of them - well, maybe not my cat Beatrice, who hated traveling - but the rest of them would have loved it here.

Thirteen years ago seems to me to be so recent but also so far away.  There were times I regret not trying harder to make a life in Huntington.  But I think I knew my wife would never like it there.  & I couldn't convince her otherwise.

There's a part of me that thinks I was a little excited that day, though.  It was nice to be somewhere new.  I like that feeling.  I've got to feel it three more times since then!

Apartment Idioms

(A groovy apartment complex facade somewhere in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex.)

One of the things I love to do on the show is talk about idioms.  I adore idioms.  I also say, because it's true, that they are the hardest thing to figure out when learning a language, but one of the most fun things about knowing a language.

But it turned out there weren't any idioms with the word apartment.  So I made some up.  I hope these will find their way into your conversations soon, & eventually on the Urban Dictionary.

1) one's apartment isn't complex
If you tell someone that their apartment isn't complex, it means they're not too bright.

You listen to Gary's show on KBOO?  But his apartment isn't complex!

2) basement apartment

A basement apartment is a stroke of bad luck. 

Your dog is sick?  Man, that's a basement apartment right there!

3) garage apartment
Relatedly, a garage apartment is an unpredictable or unsatisfying outcome.

The vet couldn't figure out what was wrong with your dog?  Sorry, man, for the garage apartment!

4) penthouse apartment

A penthouse apartment is good fortune - although it carries connotations of snobbery. 

Oh yes, she won the lottery, how very penthouse apartment of her.

5) one's apartment is a flat

If you tell someone their apartment is a flat, you're accusing them of being pompous & pretentious.
Oh look at Gary quoting Shakespeare! I guess his apartment is a flat.

6) apartment idioms for sex

Much like using bases from baseball to designate sexual conquest, apartments can serve a similar role.  Let's compare them with the baseball ones.

First base is kissing or making out. You can also call it renting an efficiency.
Second base is copping a feel.  You may also use the term renting a furnished efficiency.
Third base is that weird phenomenon a friend of mine used to call "clothes sex."  You can also call it a renting a furnished studio apartment.

& of course hitting a home run or a homer is good ol' sex.  Using apartment idioms, you'd say you  were leasing a rent-controlled fully furnished three bedroom two full baths.

Again, none of these are real idioms in use anywhere.  But that doesn't mean it always has to be that way.

Self Help Radio 062822: Apartments

(Actual apartment complexes I've lived in, images from Goggle Maps.)

Last night, someone called & said, "I am listening to your show in my car right now. Would it sound better if I was listening to it in an apartment?"  "Yes," I said.  The caller said, "Do you know where one is free right now?  With a radio?"

Alas, I was not able to help.  I was playing lots of songs about apartments in a cold radio booth in the middle of the night.  A show about apartments was not the same as an apartment locator app, or even one of those free books you can get at a convenience store with old-fashioned ads in.  The information relayed about apartments on the show was personal from the musician & general from me.

But there are certainly delights for those who have not lived the apartment experience!  You can listen to the show (again, preferably in an apartment) now or anytime at either the KBOO web page, or at the show's website, Self Help Radio dot net.  (At the latter site, you'll need a username, which is SHR, & a password, which is selfhelp.)  Everything that happens on the show is noted below.

Apartment complexes would be cooler if they were collectively owned by the tenants.

Self Help Radio Apartment Show
"In My Apartment" Dee Clark _Golden Classics_
"Apartment 21 (Without Strings)" Bobbie Gentry _The Girl From Chickasaw County (The Complete Capitol Masters)_
"Apartment # 5" The Billy Nayer Show _The Billy Nayer Show_

introduction & definition & history

"Real Crazy Apartment" Winston's Fumbs _Nuggets II (Original Artyfacts From The British Empire And Beyond 1964-1969)_
"Messy Apartment" Lee "Scratch" Perry _Who Put The Voodoo 'Pon Reggae_
"Cold Apartment" Vagabon _Infinite Worlds_
"The Apartment" Michael Showalter _Sandwiches & Cats_
"Empty Apartment" Glacier Veins _Clear Your Head_

interview with housing expert Henry Christian (part one)

"My Own Apartment" Ronnie Rochford _Teen Rockin' Fever Vol. 1_
"My Apartment" Neilson Family _Double Life_
"There Is Life Outside Your Apartment" Avenue Q Cast _Avenue Q: The Musical - Original Broadway Cast Recording_
"Apartment" Gospel Music _How To Get To Heaven From Jacksonville, FL_
"Ballet For A Small Apartment" The People's Victory Chorus & Orchestra _The School_

interview with housing expert Henry Christian (part two)

"Apartments" Boycrazy _Foreign Words_
"Lakeside View Apartments Suite" The Mountain Goats _Transcendental Youth_
"Leak/Looking For An Apartment/Friend Looking For Apartment" Todd Barry _From Heaven_
"Apartment # 9" Tammy Wynette _The Essential Tammy Wynette_
"In That Apartment Upstairs" Rosa Henderson _Complete Recorded Works In Chronological Order Volume 4 (1926-1931)_

interview with Jarvis Knowle, who lives in an apartment complex in a very small town

"Apartment Story" The National _Boxer_
"Apartment 3" Jill Cunniff _City Beach_
"Apt." Steven Wright _I Have A Pony_
"Apt. #5" Julie Ruin _Julie Ruin_
"All The Recipes I've Ever Ruined" The Lucksmiths _Why That Doesn't Surprise Me_

interview with apartment manager Noah Way

"Flat Of Angles" The Fall _Dragnet_
"Harry's Flat" Wreckless Eric _The Donovan Of Trash_
"Apartment Hunting" Eddie Lawrence _The Old Philosopher_
"The Girls In The Flat Upstairs" Martin Newell _The Off White Album_
"My Flatmate" Satan's Rats _What A Bunch Of Rodents_

completely made-up idioms using the word "apartment"

"My Apartment" Ben Kweller _On My Way_
"Apartment Song" Really From _Really From_
"Old Apartments & Baseball Redux" Andy Sandford _Me The Whole Time_
"Garage Apartment" Super XX Man _Volume V_
"Apartments Song" Promise & The Monster _Feed The Fire_

conclusion & goodbye

"Two House Apartment" Barry Brown _Two House Apartment_
"The Apartment The Cat & The Dress" Katie Goes To Tokyo _My Naked Heart_
"The Apartment" Half Waif _Mythopoetics_
"Empty Apartment" Chiaroscuro _Megalomaniac_
"The Apartment's Story" Anne Lene Hagglund _Bird Cherry Grove_

Whither Apartments?

According to naahq.org, 39 millions people in the United States - or 1 in 8 residents - live in an apartment.  Data for Portland is a little harder to figure out - this website seems to prefer the term "renters" although that can mean renters of homes too.  But assuming it's the same as the country, isn't it time there were a radio show about apartments?  Unless there's already been one.  In which case, isn't it time there's another radio show about apartments?

Yesterday on the blog I noted I've spent 26 of my 54 years living in apartments (which excluded living in duplexes or rented homes, which would've increased that total by maybe six years) so I know apartments.  True, I don't currently live in an apartment, & I would hate to live in one of the horrifying apartments that line the highways in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex where I used to live, but I'm not unsympathetic to apartments.  I would love to live in an apartment in a major city like New York or Paris!  Not that I ever will.

The pros & cons & joys & sorrows of apartments will be explored with music & talk on tonight's Self Help Radio which is on midnight to 3am on 90.7fm in Portland town & online everywhere at kboo.fm.  Let's hope you'll listen along.

Preface To Apartments: I've Lived In Apartments Much Of My Life

(I lived in the apartment in the middle right from 1992-1994. Image from Gurgle Maps.)

A while back, I tried to tally the places I've lived in my life.  It probably wasn't interesting to anyone but me so I won't link to them - but because this week's show - the theme is apartments - I've been thinking about apartment living.

One thing that's true about me is that I am absolutely terrible at finding places to live.  I think I might have found maybe one of the places I've lived in my life.  Obviously my mother (with the help of my siblings) picked the apartments we lived in after she left my father.  But my first college roommates picked my first college apartment.  My ex-girlfriend, who had broken up with me because she had been cheating on me right before we broke up, picked the one above.  The next one was chosen by my soon-to-be-roommate, who for whatever reason wanted us to live together.  That one was in a fourplex, & the one after that was in a duplex, so I don't think those count as apartments.  Anyway, I met the woman I would marry when I lived in the duplex & she has chosen every place we've lived since then.  I fucking swear.

As far as I can remember, here are the names of the apartment complexes I lived in:
Kingsley Manor
The Lockwood Arms
Little Brook Apartments
Villa Cordoba
Unnamed Six-Unit Apartment Complex On Cranford Dr.
Town Lake Apartments (maybe not their name)
Dolphin Apartments
Tanglewood North
Unnamed Apartments On Avenue A
Chateau Depew (Unofficial Name) (Fourplex)

Yeah, I went ahead & linked to the original posts.  & I reread some of them.  I wrote them two years ago.  Anyway, it appears I lived in ten different apartment complexes in my life.  Since I may have lived in as many as 25 places in my life (I can't speak with certainly where I lived from birth to around 1972, when my mother left my father), that means it's about 40% of the places I've lived.  But it does total around 26 years of my life.  Which is a little less than half my life living in apartments.

Truly if I hadn't met the woman who married me, I'd probably have lived in that duplex on Red River for as long as possible.  There were two sweet women who lived next door - a couple - both nurses - who later bought the place.  They somehow found us - I guess I had the same phone number - & called to see if we wanted to move back in.  We had just bought a house though.

Seriously, I might have lived there longer than at Chateau Depew!  Anyway, this isn't about apartments.  Damn I should have saved some time to talk about apartments.  Now I have to go to sleep.

Silos

On this day in 2014, we drove from Kentucky to Texas to visit my mother.  We did it yearly at the time.  Usually in May, but I guess late June when it conflicted with my wife's work schedule.  We had three dogs at the time, all beagles, & I asked someone from the radio station to stay at our place & take care of our cats.  & we drove to Memphis, where if I recall correctly we stayed in an Air B&B that was decidedly moist.  We understood that most of the summer Memphis was sweaty, but we had hoped that we might be a little cooler & drier indoors.  We were going to stay there on the way back, but instead went to a hotel.

On the drive I took pictures out the car window like that above, probably on the so-called "Bluegrass Parkway" which is a lovely drive.  & usually quite chill.  Although the picture could also have been taken in Tennessee along Highway 40.

Those are drives I miss, I haven't driven very far for a couple of years.  Maybe that will change.  Certainly it's very pretty around here.

Just Terrible

(I found this on Twitter. It was uncredited.)

It's well understood that I am just a random fellow with a dumb radio show & no one who listens (that very small group) knows or cares about my political thoughts.  But I have been so sad & angry today - a day when I had hoped to work on next week's Self Help Radio - about the Supreme Court's decisions this week - not just killing Roe V. Wade but the general backwards-looking, "guns have more rights than people" tenor.  I have nothing to add to anything but my heartbreak, my dismay, my absolute sadness at the misery this will cause in the coming years.  I can't do much about it - I have no voice but my vote & I used that, to no avail, in places like Texas & Kentucky, where a vote against a Mitch McConnell or a Ted Cruz was not enough to unseat them.  They are getting the theocratic world with people armed to the teeth that they apparently want, where anyone can carry a concealed weapon with impunity but a state can deny a woman her most fundamental right, where the police can't be sued by violating your Miranda rights & anyway, if you're within one hundred miles of the border, you have very little rights against the police anyway.

In school I loved learning about American history.  I don't believe one can be truly proud of a country one was born in - it wasn't your choice, after all - but I sometimes admired this place.  & I admire the fuck out of the people still fighting.  But I suspect we've lost.  It was ugly when a fat, spray-tanned b-list celebrity most famous for playing a billionaire on television became the president because of a white supremacist institution in the Constitution, & it was an ugly four years.  But I think I didn't know what ugly was.  Ugly is about to show its truly ugly face.  & there will be so much death & suffering.

Yeah, I know, go back to doing dumb radio shows.  I will.  Today though.  Glad I'm not on the air today.

Self Help Radio 062122: Sighs

(I don't recall where the original image came from. But it's brilliant!)

How many times a day does the average person sigh?  Listening to this show you'll discover that it's about once every five minutes.  How about the average Self Help Radio listener?  Trick question!  There's no such thing as a "Self Help Radio listener"!

What happened was there were three hours of radio filled on a Tuesday morning with songs about sighing.  Sighing was discussed.  I ever sighed a few times.  It was the standard affair.  Although I did learn that researchers are still studying sighing.  Which makes me think: what about yawning?  But that's a question for a different show.

You can listen to this show now & anytime at either the KBOO website or at Self Help Radio's website.  (At the latter, use the username SHR & password selfhelp to log in.)  The show was guestless so it was just me & songs & an article about why we sigh & some poetry.  Details below.

& I'm sorry I can't recall who made that cool *sigh* coaster above! If anyone knows, please tell me - I'll be glad to give that person credit!

Self Help Radio Sigh Show

"Between A Kiss & A Sigh (Helen Forrest, vocals)" Artie Shaw & His Orchestra _1938_

"A Pillow Of Sighs & Tears" Red Foley _Old Shep (The Red Foley Recordings 1933-1950)_

"The Bridge Of Sighs" Georgia Gibbs _The Best Of Georgia Gibbs: The Mercury Years_

introduction & definitions

"Cry Baby, Sigh Ba-A-By" Marty Gino _Teen-Age Dreams Vol. 6_

"Sighin'" Melrose Bagby _Brunswick Rock & Roll Party Vol. 2_

"Sigh, Cry, Almost Die" The Everly Brothers _The Absolutely Essential 3 CD Collection_

"I'd Sigh I'd Cry" Bobby Vee _Rarities_

"The Sighing Game" Rainbow Ffolly _Sallies Fforth_

"I Love Your Sigh" Zen _Hair_

"Why We Sigh" by Shayla Love Part I

"Try This For Sighs" Adam Ant _Friend Or Foe_

"The Hedonists Sigh" The Nightingales _Pigs On Purpose_

"Sigh's Smell Of Farewell" Cocteau Twins _Love's Easy Tears_

"When Sunday Comes (She Sighs)" Choo Choo Train _Briar High (Singles 1988)_

"Silent Sigh City" Happydeadmen _Classics - A Decade In Pop_

"Why We Sigh" by Shayla Love Part II

"A Sigh" The Golden Palominos _Drunk With Passion_

"Some Mysterious Sigh" Katydids _Shangri-La_

"Sigh" The Orchids _Epicurean: A Soundtrack_

"Angel Sigh" Spiritualized _Lazer Guided Melodies_

"A Gentle Sigh" Blueboy _Some Gorgeous Accident EP_

"Why We Sigh" by Shayla Love Part IIII

"Sigh" Curve _Faît Accompli_ (Charisma, 1992)

"La Tristesse Durera (Scream To A Sigh)" Manic Street Preachers _Gold Against The Soul_

"A Sigh Is The Softest Shout" Colin Clary _One Hundred Decembers_

"Appalachian Death Sigh" Bill Fox _Shelter From The Smoke_

"Ah! The Sighs" June Tabor _At The Wood's Heart_

"Why We Sigh" by Shayla Love Part IV

"Slow Soft Sighs" Trembling Blue Stars _Slow Soft Sighs_

"Bridge Of Sighs" Brief Candles _They Live We Sleep_

"A Heavy Sigh" Edwyn Collins _Home Again_

"Bridge Of Sighs" Palomar _All Things, Forests_

"No Sense In Sighing" Orwell _Nouvelles D'Hier_

sighing poems by Coleridge & Hardy

"I Just Sighed. I Just Sighed, Just So You Know" Los Campesinos! _Romance Is Boring_

"Sigh, Inhibitionist (Come All Day With Me)" A Sunny Day In Glasgow _Autumn, Again_

"Sighs" Asobi Seksu _Fluorescensce_

"Sigh" The Bilinda Butchers _Regret, Love, Guilt, Dreams_

"Sigh-Fi" Plastic Animals _Pictures From The Blackout_

conclusion & goodbye

"And Then Sigh" Backwords _Quilt_

"Sigh The Day Away" Magic Bullets _Magic Bullets_

"The Deepest Sighs, The Frankest Shadows" Gang Of Youths _Go Farther In Lightness_

"Primal Sigh" Elvis Depressedly _Depressedelica_

Whither Sighs?

(Charles Schulz was the king of the comic sigh. Image from here.)

Occasionally, Self Help Radio has to remind itself it's a radio show.  That it's mainly a bunch of sounds emanating from a radio tower or from a computer.  It makes the deejay - in this case, me - think about all the sounds me make.  & what is a more strange & powerful sound than a sigh?  It's not quite sad - though it can be profoundly sad - but it's not quite happy - though it can express a sort of contentment.

Someone made me sigh one day & I thought, "How many songs are there that somehow mention sighing?"  Tonight's show is the answer to that question.  & I'll talk a lot about sighing as well.

That'll happen midnight to 3am tonight on 90.7fm & kboo.fm.  Perhaps you'll sigh when you hear the sighing.  Or is that yawning?  I think that's yawning.

Preface To Sighs: Hassling Me

As someone who grew up reading Peanuts every day, who loved the cartoons, who related to Charlie Brown a bit too much, doing a show about sighs (which is this week's Self Help Radio theme) immediately made me think about this particular strip, which was first printed on February 5, 1976.  & while I could have read it in the papers then - I was eight years old & was definitely reading the funnies at the time - I almost certainly first read it in this little trade paperback that collected the whole "Charlie Brown & Peppermint Patty share a schooldesk" storyline:

(image from Goodreads)

Looking for the strip - eventually I found it in the Fantagraphics 1975-1976 Peanuts collection, & took a picture with my phone, which is why it's so crappy - I discovered the sequence also ended up in one of the Peanuts cartoons, specifically Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown.  It's here.  (I have bad luck embedding video on this blog, sorry.)  They've moved Charlie Brown & Peppermint Patty overseas for the story, when originally (if I remember correctly), Charlie Brown had to go to Peppermint Patty's school because Charlie Brown's school committed suicide.  You read that correctly!

One last thing: is this the only Charlie Brown cartoon where the voice of the teacher (or any parent) is understandable to the viewer?  & if so, is it because it's someone with a French accent?